Hypnosis - Sally Stubbs – leading hypnotherapist – talks about how hypnotherapy can help you ditch your demons!

Tags: blind spots, Mojo, ouch, Sally Stubbs, self confidence, self esteem
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Curvey Yes’s & Curvey No’s………………

May 23rd, 2013

You know I believe ‘pussy footing around’ really is not that ‘sexy’!

And for ‘big’ things in our life – for sure we need to ‘sit on the fence’ a while and gather information, ‘flirt with ideas’, before we can ‘get off the fence’ and ‘say’ our NO! or our YES! with, if not always absolute certainty, at least with an acceptance of ‘risk’. ‘risk’ that will not injure our self or others……………

I have a 5 year old client, she clearly says: ‘There are straight Yes’s and straight No’s, and there a curvy Yes’s and curvy No’s. You must always be straight, curvy can be very messy, and sometimes you need to wait to know you have a straight Yes or a straight No.’

I have learnt masses from this 5 year old…….

I listened on the BBC radio 4 website to a recent programme called:

The Trouble with Moody Teenagers.

Lucy talked about being suicidal after her Dad died.

John talked about hiding himself away after being bullied.

Neither of these kids could ask for help, until eventually they were ‘exploding’.

Other kids talked about being suicidal, not coping, hiding in their rooms, being on an emotional roller coaster. Their suffering was described as: “Children being in mental smog…” Statistics say that: Every school class has one student needing urgent help.

This isn’t about teenage angst, and mood swings driven by hormonal changes.

This is about suffering.

The pain, like Lucy’s and John’s, can come from our own personal trauma. The pain, for others, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’ Dr. John Sarno calls it

‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’

This is a story about, who I am going to call, “Debbie”.

I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!

Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with Depression and prescribed anti depressants.

Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did last week. I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up. Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’.

Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me” and constantly she feels totally numb. In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me” which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.

Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.

So I asked what happened about ten years ago. “My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.

Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”

Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”

Believe me, I personally totally understand such Great, Great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our Heart and Mind. But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.

Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death. This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.

Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………

Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting……… And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her ‘self’ to make the effort.

I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you. I believe her story will somehow help you.

So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our very, very well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here are your Meds.”

“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a Therapist for you who Works this way…..”

Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s Heart Wrenching………..

Thinking of you warmly……. Come visit us on our Rapha Hypnosis site: you’ll be most warmly welcome

Warm wishes

Sally

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

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Chew on Something Different………

May 16th, 2013

A father telephoned me and said that he and his wife could not cope with their daughter’s habit any longer – and would I see the girl.
I said yes – only if you ask first – that she will want to choose to see me. Her choice of course. She was aged 15 at the time. She could have been age 8, the same applies, it must, even for a youngster, be their choice.
She wanted to speak with me on the phone first, and check me out. At the end of our nearly an hour on the phone she said she thought: I was Mint! How ace is that!
She did – I am happy to say want to – come along to see me, do some Work with me.
I did say on the phone that my half an hour a day for 40 CD or MP3 course

Gain Self Esteem & Self Confidence would work for her. She said she wanted to see me!
The parents brought the girl – They said that she constantly, everywhere chewed on her tongue – which was really annoying to them. The point is: Did it really annoy the girl and did she want to cease, not especially for her parents ‘peace of mind’ – did she want to stop for her self. Fortunately (for the parents) that was her goal.
I told the parents that they must leave the room so that the girl and I could Work in private.
We Worked on – what was driving her tongue chewing habit – we discovered that her problem was her annoyance at certain others. She wasn’t annoyed with her parents by the way. We did some very clean elegant Work on resolving her annoyance
Next I wanted to be able to really access her Annoyance – so -
I said: “YOU ARE PATHETIC”
And the kid really got annoyed and chewed harder and harder on her tongue.
I went on to say:
“ Can – YOU BE CLEVER – and stop wasting your tongue chewing everywhere and on everyone.”
I said: “Decide who really annoys you. Then every evening sit as close as you can to your parents – and chew your tongue – really hard – for seventeen minutes.
Watch the time – watch your watch – or watch the clock – make it seventeen minutes.
Be noisy – do it properly with all the gusto you’ve got. You could growl and snarl.
If you cannot sit next to both parents – then you will have to do them one at a time.
That way – YOU CAN BE SMART – and – BE CONFIDENT.
You can chew hard – and growl and snarl for thirty-four minutes – every evening.
Each day at school – choose one of those people that annoys you – BE SMART – don’t waste your chewing over hundreds of others – choose the ones who annoy you.
Go and chew next to the chosen one for the whole of your break time – Every day this can be a different person. If you run out of people that annoy you – well – just start over.
Chew hard and snarl real low, so no one will hear you, for the whole of your break – every day.
Well – I tell you – that kid – she soon got fed – up – she soon felt really restricted – So – she joined the debating club instead. There were some great subjects for her where she could really positively channel her verbalized succinct annoyance. And she had fun.
She came back to see me – and said: I LIKE YOU…. Which from a kid – who I had told a while back – YOU ARE PATHETIC…. Is true praise. She gave me praise – and I truly wanted to give her praise – I said: YOU ARE SO BRIGHT….. and she responded – YOU ARE CONFIDENT….. and it wasn’t a question. Next….. it felt like together we were weaving something marvelous and tangible – like the real fabric of life – as I ADDED LOVELY THREADS – and did MAKE CONNECTIONS….. I also said – yes and –YOU ALSO ARE NOW MORE AND MORE CONFIDENT….. which is not open to debate.
We talked about what had all that tongue tied – all that chewed up stuff been about…..and agreed – there is no need to know – it is all in the past…….
We also agreed that debate helps….. YOU BECOME FREE…. Helps YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE CERTAIN…… that it is totally wonderful to BE YOURSELF….. EXPRESS YOUR POINT OF VIEW….. and know that from any view point there are at least 360 degree angle…….
I will look forward to seeing her again – just so we know – IT IS SO GOOD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY….

Warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com
*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A. – cutting edge: clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual – which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation – being happily, fully one’s self.

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Kiss Me Kate …..

May 9th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Remember Amy – and her mother Kate?
Let’s recap:
Amy is in a new and happy relationship with Ted. They have been living contentedly and lovingly together for a few months.
Amy has a history of her father, who was a hard working man and loyal to his family, often coming home late from his job.
Amy’s Mum, Kate, was a woman who was protective of her family. Kate had been adopted when she was two and half years old. Kate had been seriously neglected as a baby by her parents who would leave their terrified baby to go out drinking.
Every time Amy’s Dad was late home from work, the young Amy witnessed and felt the furious and accusing response from Kate, her Mum, to her Dad.
Kate was being triggered into her ‘baby’ response of being terrified when she had a perception that she was being ‘abandoned’. No rational brain thinking such as: “My husband is devoted to us & he is looking after us by earring overtime……” can free Kate from her Unconscious response. Neither will such poppy cock as mind ‘control’ & mind ‘re-programming’, relaxation, EFT, CBT, ever resolve Kate’s response of terror. What will definitely cure Kate’s terror is Freeing & healing the wounded ‘child’ within her. My kind of Work!
Amy’s unconscious, when she was a small child, learnt to believe that this is the behaviour that must happen when you’re man is late home…..
Five months into Amy’s relationship living with Ted, he is late home.
Amy cannot get him on his mobile.
Amy’s conscious rational mind tries to consider that Ted is stuck in traffic, Ted has bumped into a mate and gone for a quick pint he hasn’t noticed the time, the battery is flat on Ted’s mobile….. and so on and so on…………..
But Amy’s unconscious mind has a perception, (which was learnt from her Mum’s behaviour,) her learnt belief kicks in automatically, as beliefs do, that Ted is abandoning and betraying her.
Amy, if you remember resolved this inner controlling of responses & behaviours belief, Amy chose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Courses spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so for 10 days – on exploring and then deconstructing the depths of negative, destructive, self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual and their own life story & experiences.

Kate’s husband, John, that’s Amy’s Dad, only wanted a kiss and a smile on his return home! Kate’s ‘driving’ pain of terror of abandonment became so chronic and acute, that by the time Amy was a young teenager Kate was in a fury, even when John was home on time!
Maybe you’ve witnessed parallel behaviours in others in your life time? The more someone overeats – the more they overeat, the more sleepless someone is, the less and less they sleep, the more someone worries the more they worry, the more nervous someone is the more nervous they become, the more angry………… Why?

Simplistically, the more we use that neural net – the more that neural net is instantly activated. The Great News! (Which we did not have ‘proof’ off ‘til around 3 decades ago) The neural net is not hard wired. We can change it. To do that we need to HEAL the problematic emotions – in Kate’s experience the emotion was Terror – at being abandoned. In a baby’s case – the Terror is of death. That is a monumentally huge terror.
Kate came to Work with me, urged by Amy I must say, who’d told Kate about my 40 day Course.
Kate is pretty & blonde. To begin with her head was bent most of the time and eye contact was rare. One of the first things Kate said was: “I’m too old to change, I don’t think – you can really help.” At the time Kate was 54.
I elegantly assured her – we’re never too old.
Now, here is something that will really interest you. Kate said: “I know I have some horrible feelings deep inside me, but I do not have the memories.”
You don’t need to have the memories to heal and free a wounded, stuck, lost, part of your self. The feelings, tho’ indeed horrible ‘guide’ to the healing of the feelings.
Kate did just that in our Work together, she found and freed and healed her self.
Is Kate happy now? Is John happy now? Oh, Yes!
Oh, and thank you for the ideas for our documentary film. Brilliant! Keep ‘em coming. Professor Kathryn Rossi & Dr Ernest Rossi have happily agreed to be involved – they’re doing an interview for us. That will be Mint!
Speak soon

Warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Tags: hypnosis, Rapha Hypnosis, response, Sally Stubbs, unconscious
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What’s Up Ted ……

April 25th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

So we really do want to continue to talk together about our Unconscious mind.
We’ve already asked ourselves: why would we want to bother? And, why am I always banging on about the Unconscious mind?
Our Unconscious is worth us re-capping:
Because: Our Unconscious mind, is ‘driving’ at least 90 % of our life.
Because: Our Unconscious is our own mind – it is the ‘world’ we live in, it is our inner world from which we perceive the outer world, it is from our inner world that we respond to & react to the outer world. We need to get to know it, it’s ‘where we live’ our life.
Because: It is this part of our mind which drives our problem states. Makes sense doesn’t it? None of us consciously want our problem states, and it’s not the weather, the government, our boss or our partner, our parents who drives the problem, it is our Unconscious response. Right!
And therefore it could be considered to be understandable that that is why most every single therapeutic strategy that I come across, (and I promise you I research extensively to discover what current strategies schools of psychotherapy are advocating,) is attempting to ‘control’ & ‘re-programme’ the Unconscious.
Does it sound odd to you that: our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’
Here’s a very, very simplistic example of a strategy, widely used in Psychotherapeutic work for re-programming the mind:
Affirmation! Try it yourself.
Think of a simple problem that you have. We’ve all got something that we’d like to improve in our Unconscious – because happiness & inner contentment with life does not have a ceiling!
So pause right now – it will only take a few minutes maximum – think of a simple problem, maybe like nervousness of public speaking, turn your problem on ‘it’s head’ & make, pretty much a polar opposite, to the problem, affirmation.
Like this example: “I have a problem in that I feel too nervous to give a public speech or presentation, my stomach churns & my throat dries up, & I’d love to be able to speak up in front of others….”
Affirmation:
“I am an acceptable person. My stomach & throat will be calm, & I will confidently speak up”
Will this affirmation for this person work, to re-programme the unconsciously driven nervousness at public speaking, when spoken or thought every day, several times a day, every 20 minutes through the day???
Not ‘in a month of Sunday’s will it ever work! (Not sure what ‘a month of Sundays is!! My Mum used to say it! And I knew what it meant! It meant never. She’d say: “Not ‘in a month of Sundays’ will I let you go into Manchester – dressed like that……”!!!)
What you will definitely notice – when you attempt to ‘re-programme’ your Unconscious – with your own personal affirmation – is inner, unconscious, resistance!
Resistance to your affirmation will manifest in your thoughts & probably in your feelings. Such as, your very next thought will be something like: “NO WAY…..” Probably followed by feelings in your body, maybe like a churning in the stomach, or a tightening of the throat, a stabbing in the heart, a heavy weight in the head….. and so and so on……..
Now, here’s the thing, Tah Dah, the resistance is absolutely the ‘key’ to unravelling deeply held negative beliefs. Honour the resistance & then differentiate out what got ‘ravelled’ into the negative self beliefs – & finally we are able to bring about lasting resolution
So, let’s, in light of my statement: “…..our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’” – explore what happened to young Amy.
Amy ‘learnt’ her belief from her Mum’s behaviour that, basically, if you’re man is more than 3 minutes late home you’re being abandoned. Abandonment causes fear in a young unconscious mind.
Ted, Amy’s beloved partner, whenever he was late home from work, or from any outing, triggered the fear response which Amy had learnt as a child. No affirmation or logic will stop Amy’s fear.
The mild mannered, gentle Ted finally became so frustrated with Amy’s fury with him and next her withdrawal, that Amy’s “Sorry….” just did not ‘cut it’ any more. Ted upped & left. How sad is that. So sad.
Amy, I am delighted to say contacted me. We had a good 45 minutes on the phone. Next Amy choose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Course spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so a day – on exploring the depths of negative self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual & their own life story & experiences. During those 10 days we also differentiate each negative belief ‘strand’ from the tangle of the negative belief system. And then we bring about lasting resolution – & then bring in a whole new appropriate & life affirming belief system. Good Hey……….
Amy phoned me a few weeks after she’d completed my course – she & Ted are back together & very happy.

Hurrah!
Oh & thanks everyone for your great thoughts & creative comments on the documentary we are making this summer “Why we are not free to be free … to be our self”
Keep your comments coming, ‘tis much appreciated. Thank you.
Warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A., cutting edge, clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual, which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation.

www.sally-stubbs.com/have-harmonious-relationships
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Tags: cures that endure, hypnosis, Rapah Hypnosis, therapy
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What Drives Us …….

April 18th, 2013

Hello:
Let’s get ‘into it’ today and really talk together about our Unconscious Mind.
Why would we want to bother? Why am I always banging on about the Unconscious Mind? Because, our Unconscious Mind, is ‘driving’ at least 90 % of our life.
Our Unconscious is our own mind – it is the ‘world’ we live in, it is our inner world from which we perceive the outer world, it is from our inner world that we respond to and react to the outer world. We need to get to know it, it’s ‘where we live’ our life.
It is this part of our mind which drives our problem states. Makes sense doesn’t it? None of us consciously want our problem states, and, it’s not the weather, the government, our boss or our partner who drives the problem, it is our Unconscious response. Right!
Therefore, it could be considered to be understandable that is why most every single therapeutic strategy that I come across (and I promise you I research extensively to discover what current strategies, schools of psychotherapy are advocating) is attempting to ‘control’ & ‘re-programme’ the Unconscious.
Here is a simple example: by way of explanation: of an inappropriate Unconscious response of Amy’s and how these kind of responses work in our life ‘automatically’ without us being able to rarely, if ever, consciously resist.
If you take this following simple example you will be able to apply it to many ‘problem’ states in which we experience an overriding automatic response, such as our stress response, our response to a trigger to a phobic state, our automatic response to food, our response which disables us from good sleep, our response of feeling nervous when we are asked to give a speech, and so on ……
Simple example:
Amy is in a new and happy relationship with Ted. They have been living contentedly and lovingly together for a few months.
Amy has a history of her father, who was a hard working man and loyal to his family, often coming home late from his job.
Amy’s Mum Kate was a woman who was protective of her family. Kate had been adopted when she was two and half years old. Kate had been seriously neglected as a baby by her parents who would leave their terrified baby to go out drinking.
Every time Amy’s Dad was late home from work, the young Amy witnessed and felt the furious and accusing response from Kate, her Mum, to her Dad.
Kate was being triggered into her ‘baby’ response of being terrified when she had a perception that she was being abandoned. No rational brain thinking such as: “My husband is devoted to us & he is looking after us by earning overtime……” can free Kate from her Unconscious response. Neither will such poppy cock as mind ‘control’ & mind ‘re-programming’ ever resolve Kate’s response of terror. What will definitely cure Kate’s terror is Freeing & Healing the wounded child within her. My kind of Work!
Amy’s unconscious, when she was a small child, learnt to believe that this is the behaviour that must happen when you’re man is late home…..
Five months into Amy’s relationship living with Ted, he is late home.
Amy cannot get him on his mobile.
Amy’s conscious rational mind tries to consider that Ted is stuck in traffic, Ted has bumped into a mate and gone for a quick pint, he hasn’t noticed the time, the battery is flat on Ted’s mobile…..
But Amy’s unconscious mind has a perception (which was learnt from her Mum’s behaviour) so her learnt belief kicks in automatically, as beliefs do, that Ted is abandoning and betraying her.
Ted walks in 53 minutes later than his usual time to return home to first of all Amy’s fury lashing out at him, pots & pans hurling past his head, and then Amy’s withdrawal into to some dark, moody, unreachable, ‘leave me alone’ state. Amy replicate’s Kate’s responses & behaviours perfectly.
Ted was late because he’d stopped off to get Amy a surprise gift…………..
Amy’s apology takes effort of reconciliation.
And the next time Ted is late home from work, stuck in traffic, a meeting running late…….the same ‘damn thing’ happens again – and again………..Amy’s response of fury & then withdrawal into ‘hiding’.
Amy needs the right strategies to communicate with her own unconscious self – to be able to unravel – and bring understanding into this now automatic response to her perception that she is – like her Mum’s belief – always going to be abandoned and betrayed.
No matter how much Ted assures Amy that he loves her, that he is loyal, he is monogamous, Amy’s unconscious won’t ‘get it’, not in a hundred years, until she learns how to communicate correctly with her own unconscious.
Kate’s inner Work with her unconscious will take more effort to free & heal her from her baby terror, & next her ‘baby’ need to withdraw. Simplistically terror & withdrawal for ‘baby’ Kate was an attempt to protect her. Simply speaking as long as ‘baby’ Kate is in a terror or even a withdrawn response – at least she is still alive.
Maybe you can begin to differentiate for your self, is your problem state actually coming from a wounded place within your younger self, or from a learnt belief?
You are so welcome to email me any questions or thoughts you have. I am here to help. It’s what I want to do, help you live your life being free to be your self.
We’ve loads more to talk about our amazing Unconscious mind.
Check out my half an hour a day for 40 days audio courses to resolve problems on my CDs & MP3’s on our websites. My courses are in the language of the Unconscious mind.

Thinking of you warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

You will also be a most welcome visitor to www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/ where you will discover lots about our amazing unconscious mind…………..

Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
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Tags: audio hypnosis, hypnosis, problem states, psychotherapy, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, unconscious mind
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ABOUT ‘IT!’

April 4th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Hello

A friend, who is a lovely woman & a caring intelligent mother (but her dog is thoroughly daft!) said to me: “Therapists always want to blame your childhood for mind-emotional problems!”

I really don’t know if this true or not, I mean, that Therapists ‘blame’ childhood experiences?

But I absolutely do know this certainly is not true of me and my work, whether that is 1:1 or through my audio work: And there is never ever any ‘blame’.

Blaming does not free & heal us.

I never, ever make suppositions, give advice, or give diagnosis, nor is my Work prescriptive, which may seem really weird to you.

Simplistically what I am doing is providing the unconscious mind a space to communicate its language, and for the unconscious to discover and resolve the problem state. Why? Because, as we’ve mentioned before, our problem state is unconsciously driven, and the paradox is our unconscious has the resolution to heal & free us from ‘where’ we got ‘stuck’ in time.

We unconsciously ‘freeze’ time in painful experiences in an attempt to stop this experience, in the next moments from probably or possibly getting worse, and therefore not emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, or physically safe for our self.

I’m maybe going to sound really weird to you now!: Mostly I’m communicating with “IT” so that “IT” can discover the exact right unique solutions for “IT”, “IT” being the problem. So, I’ll make sense of this now and you’ll say: Wow Sally’s not in the least bit weird! Simplistically “IT” is the part of our self which got ‘stuck’

So: Think of an emotional problem right now, and ask yourself:

How do I know that I have this emotional problem?

Maybe to begin with you’ll want to say all kinds about your life, like, I have this problem because of my boss, my relationship, my parent, my finances……. the weather…….. Then soon you’ll get to the problem inside of you, not these external triggers in your life, and your answer will be:

“IT” feels like this: “……in my head, chest, stomach, throat…… “IT’s” like knotting, churning, trembling, numb, stuck, heavy, fluttering…… “

There are literally a myriad of unique to you descriptions of “IT” So what happens next is that in therapy with me “IT” communicates it’s own information and goes on a journey to discover resolution for “IT” In my 1:1 & on my CD/MP3 audio courses – together, you & I safely allow “IT” to communicate & journey to “IT’s” resolutions healing & freeing

Then, halleluiah, when “IT” has final resolution & freedom you’ll feel your boss’ ‘tantrums’ are like ‘water off a ducks back’ You’ll have resources to sort your relationship and finances – and Hey in bad weather you’ll feel well clothed and ‘weather proof’

Maybe Jonny’s video clip on You Tube will go some way to getting you a real sense of “IT” as “IT” for Jonny was a serious cancer. Jonny makes me cry happily every time I watch the clip – he’s just lovely. Jonny named his cancer ‘The Guys’. This was Jonny’s unconscious solution – not mine!! Enjoy Jonny’s smiling face, and knowing that seven years on he is well, successful and lovingly married. ENJOY Jonny.

Thinking of you warmly

Sally

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

P.S. Any ideas you may have for our film:”Why we are not Free to be free to be our self. And, HOW we can be!” will be so gratefully received. Thank you.

Tags: hypnotherapists, intelligent, Sally Stubbs, spiritually, therapists, unconscious
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We Got Stuck!

March 28th, 2013

Hello
I hope all is going well for you.
You may have read some of what I want to talk about today in one of my previous letters, but I do believe its worthy of repeating!
Thanks for your patience with my ‘doggedness’!
We all want to be even happier, it is part of our human need to grow into our potential for happiness and success, and our potential is massive, our potential is way, way beyond our limiting beliefs…….
Countless people are suffering, really suffering, emotionally and psychologically.
Personal freedom is important to all of us. I don’t mean the lack of freedom which so many of us suffer in those countries where we are the victims of the vagaries of government, which is disgraceful and horrific of course, but this is not my expertise.
My expertise, my full on energy, is to put an end to our emotional and psychological suffering, and for us all to have, and to experience, and to celebrate the freedom to be ‘our self’.
Nearly all of us got ‘stuck’ somewhere in our life, in trauma, in crisis, or in a feeling of ‘catastrophe’ and that ‘stuck’ place put an end to our freedom to be our self, because of fear. Fear that the ‘next moment’ in time will be dangerous & destructive to our self. Whilst part of our self is ‘stuck’ we are not wholly free, free to be our self! Part of our self got lost in some horrid emotional ‘prison’ of stinky, toxic self beliefs and dodgy, often painful feelings.
Let me speak to you again about more of this, because emotional and psychological suffering is huge amongst us humans and is truly a huge subject for us all to consider.
Next time I’d like to talk with you about ‘Why?’ we got ‘stuck’ in time and then about: how we can move towards true and real freedom, to be our self. Happy in our ‘own skin’ and free to grow in our potential……..
We are at present putting together our ideas to make a film – the title is:” What we are not Free to be be free to be our self. And, how we can be!”
The how we can be free to be our self is vital, and for all my genuine, rigorous searching and researching, no one ‘out there’ in the well intentioned worlds of therapy really & truly have the how.
I am way excited about our film, if you’ve got any ideas for the content – I will be really thrilled to hear from you…………. sally@sally-stubbs.com
Do visit www.sally-stubbs.com/you’ll be most welcome and there are ‘cakes’ to be had and ‘eaten’! I’ve got ‘cakes’ for you called ‘sound bytes’ delicious little ‘tastes’ for you………. ‘Taste’ of how I Work on my CD/Mp3 therapeutic courses. ENJOY

You will also be a most welcome visitor to www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/where you’ll discover lots about our amazing unconscious mind…………..

Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my letters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list:

support@sally-stubbs.com
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: emotional, films, Hypnotherapy, psychology, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, suffering
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AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THE WEATHER?

March 20th, 2013

Stormy Weather?

I recently read this Quote on Twitter: “Everyone can navigate in fine weather”.
It makes you think doesn’t it!
I replied to this Tweet.” I bet you’re not surprised!!!”
Writing what I wanted to say with a maximum of 140 characters was a heck of a challenge!
I replied: “The problem with the weather is that we get stuck with our inner ‘storms’ in our unconscious mind”.
This Tweet “Everyone can navigate in fine weather” was a great opportunity for me, as I continuously use the metaphor of ‘the weather’ in my Work.
And the problems that I see everywhere, from social media to the press, are that there are so many similar statements to this mild Tweet. Everywhere, so manypeople totally neglect to consider, discuss and enquire into the driving force in all our lives: The unconscious mind…..
Our unconscious mind is so often driving inner ‘stormy weather’ that navigating our lives can be difficult, or can sometimes feel downright dangerous.
How it works, how it ‘drives’ our inner pain and turmoil, how our unconscious paradoxically has the solutions, resolutions and resources to cure our suffering once and for all.
I talk with you about how to communicate with our unconscious.
How cure of our problem states is not a ten minute ‘fast food’ therapy.(FFT) Nor is it years and years of learning control and management and learning why we have these sufferings.
Forty days of effort, the right kind of effort, the exact right kind of communication with our unconscious, once a day for around half an hour for forty days, for most of our problems will bring about an enduring cure using my Rapha Hypnosis techniques.
As I’m writing this, I am reminded of a friend who I met in the late 1980’s
He had his dream career, his dream home in London,cars, money, travel, really good friends, and a hugely glamorous social life.
And yet he was very, very lonely; he longed for a close lasting relationship with a woman.
But relationships never worked for him.
When I met him he had been in therapy pretty much once a week for fifteen years! (I Groan with exasperation…)
He told me that the therapy had enabled him to know why he had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger (that seemed to come from that place called nowhere…) since he’d been a teenager.
But: He still had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger.
That is a huge BUT isn’t it! Poor bloke, I hear these all too often, makes me feel utterly sad.
I suggested he change his therapist, not easy after nearly fifteen years, and go and Work with a colleague of mine in London, Julie, we studied together with the great David Grove in Missouri.
My friend did go to do some Work with Julie. Three months later he was cured. A month after that he met Nancy.
He and Nancy have been happily married for over 20 years.
I cannot count the number of folks who over the past 30 years have said to me: “This is ridiculous that I have a problem….. the sleeplessness, anxiety, fears, nervousness, stress…… edgy relationships…. Feeling angry….. can’t stop eating….. inner turmoil…no self esteem……. When my life is fine.
I have a lovely home, my job is OK, I’m pretty successful….. my dog is gorgeous…….”
In other words:
The outer weather is fine. Sunny from time to time. The odd showers and winds. It could be better ‘weather’, but I can’t really complain!
The inner weather: Blows up turmoil and becomes stormy….. “When I’m around my boss, around food……. Have to present at a meeting……… so many things make me want to ‘run away and hide myself’”
The ‘outer’ triggers that stir up the inner ‘storms’
My metaphor ‘stands up’ when we now consider, bringing calm and CURE to the inner ‘storms’.
We can Work with our unconscious in a correct, right, safe, comfortable way, time moves on and ‘the storms’ are over.
We safely enable the inner ‘storms’ to complete them selves… to no longer be ‘stuck’ in time as a continuous whirling around in circles turmoil….. to no longer experience disturbance and distress in our inner emotional and psychological ‘land scapes’
So, do come visit me and find out more www.sally-stubbs.com or vist youtube.com just type in Sally Stubbs and examples of my work will appear.

Please do not hesitate to contact me: I would love to hear from you.

Thinking of you warmly…..
Sally

http://www.sally-stubbs.com/

Tags: cure, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, stormy weather, turmoil, unconcious mind
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HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT!

March 14th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Happy Spring Time To You!
Like I’ve said before, I’m not being naive about us being happy, it’s a word I use to describe a state of being free from ‘chronic’ emotional and psychological suffering.
By ‘chronic’ I mean the ‘negative’ & ‘painful’ experiences & beliefs that ‘play on & on & on….’ in our minds – basically going nowhere towards resolution & healing
Apart from the horror of suffering the pain of grief or loss, and grief for others loss we can be happy in life, happy in our own ‘skin’!
No one, absolutely no one, in my 32 years of full time practice, has ever come to me and said; “I want you to help cure me because: I’m too happy!” No one! That’s a lot of folk in over a quarter of a century who’ve worked with me 1:1 or travelled with me on my audio courses, has ever said that!
So, I’ll say it again, because I can, I genuinely wish you a Happy Spring Time!
This is what I do, this is my passion, I serve people who Work with me, & journey alongside me on my audio courses, I assist them to ‘bake scrumptious, nourishing or just for fun cakes’, so that in life, not just for Spring time, we can: Have Our Cake and Eat it!
I do! And I didn’t used to! In my earlier life even if I saw ‘a cake’ right in front of me I’d unconsciously think, “Oh no! that ‘cakes’ not for me!”
I’d unconsciously think “That can’t be for me, I don’t deserve it!” Or: “It can’t possibly be that good ‘a cake’, life isn’t like that, life is disappointment!” Or I’d feel too scared or frightened, ashamed, gulity or embarrassed to even have a taste of good ‘cake’!
But, you’ll understand, that’s what I do, I communicate elegantly with the unconscious mind of others. So in my first year or two of working, I knew I had to ‘be in touch’ with my own unconscious and ‘heal my cracks’! And now, I ‘eat cake’!
I can personally tell you that Eating Cake does not turn you or /me into in some supercilious ‘fat cat’ who rail roads it over other fellow human beings. ‘Eating Good, Scrumptious, Nourishing, Fun Cake’ makes you want to share yours with everyone else.
I know I’ve used this metaphor of ‘Having Cake & Eating It’ before, however, it truly is a Great metaphor worthy of our deep consideration. Eating the Cake – is about nourishing our Self – our emotions our psyche – the ‘spirit’ of who we truly are.. Freeing our self from negative self beliefs & inner pain.
‘Cakes’ may seem for you or someone you really care about to be a million miles away, on another planet or always just out of reach. Honestly no matter how you suffer or a loved one of yours suffers, ‘cakes’ are accessible to us all. And to those who cannot access them, about which I am really sad, once we have our own ‘cake’ it’s only then that we can share with others, and about that I’m really glad. Basically & to be really blunt when we are starved of inner Happiness (whatever that means to us as individuals) we cannot ‘nourish’ others.
How can we begin to have ‘our cake and eat it’ and share it with others? Here’s a simple strategy for you:
Tip Top Tip:
• Validate your self. Stop ‘beating your self up’! When we ‘beat our selves up’ we believe we don’t deserve ‘cake’.
• How do you do this? Observe your invalidating of yourself inner dialogue, the: “I’m useless, I’m lazy, I let so & so down…. I’ve failed…….And so on and so on….”
• Observe & then write that stinky stuff down in a notebook and then with loads of energy delete that kind of dialogue.
• Take each one at a time – spend a couple of days on each one – Shout out loud – not the opposite – but a step towards the opposite. As my example: Take the “I am useless” step it over towards the positive by shouting out loud “I am really useful at …. “ Fill it in… with a statement you will believe such as this example: “I’m really useful at always being on time!”
• Invalidating your self does not make you a better person! It has no value in your life or the lives of others!
I’m really glad you’ve been listening to me – many thanks for that
You will be a most welcomed visitor at www.sally-stubbs.com
Thanks for listening
Thinking of You WarmlySally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endurewww.rapha-hypnosis.com

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: eating cake, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, unconcious mind
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10 Top Tips To Get Happy Now!

March 7th, 2013

1. Choose to Change:- What stops us being happy, no matter what is happening in our life, are our ‘inner’ thoughts and beliefs.

2. Consider a Formula for Change:- Every hour and a half throughout your day, pause for a few seconds and say, “I can change my thoughts and beliefs which do not celebrate my life”. The brain is in rest phase and the mind is ready to learn something new.

3. Identify Your Desired State:- Take time and write down your goal, your desired state. Focus throughout the day and plan your most important journey of your life – to happiness.

4. Keep A Notebook:- Carry your notebook and make lists – be ready to write down anything that will make you happier.

5. Remind Yourself Why You Need Change:- Get fully motivated towards reaching your destination. Imagine yourself with a serene or smiley face: hear your voice, strong, certain or calmn and notice the change.

6. Keep Your Saboteurs In Check:- Say your Mum had been a constant worrier – consistantly scared for your safety and wellbeing. Chronic worrying is a waste of time and life. You can say to yourself “I am going to have clear thoughts with loads of energy for my brain to respond with new and happier thought patterns.”

7. Reflect:- Take time to reflect on your percetions and response and discover you have the choice to change your peceptions and therefore your responses. Your mind and brain can now begin to have safe responses rather than her habituated fear responses.

8. Pay Attention To Your Thoughts:- Interrupt your patterns of ‘down’ thinking. So do something fast, really different like splashing your face with cold water and you will train yourself to interrupt your negative thought patterns.

9. Find Your Space:- Choose a time every day say 15 – 20 minutes for time and space just for you. Choose to think things that make you feel good. You will soon discover that it is entirely up to you. You will then see how you will begin to feel ‘up’ and happier for longer and longer periods of time.

10. Smile Every Day:- Smiling instantly lifts your mood: If Life Gives You Lemons – How 10 Seconds a Day Will Bring You Happiness.

Enjoy my top tips: comments welcome sally@sally-stubbs.com

Sally

sally-stubbs.com

hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

Tags: goals, happy, hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, thoughts
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HERE COMES THE SPRING:

February 28th, 2013

budding crocus!

Hello : a beautiful gorgoeus sunny day here in the Lakes:
Life is abounding with Great Opportunities for us all. Which, as we’ve discussed, is really hard if not at times impossible for our mind to even contemplate ‘seeing and hearing’, let alone acting upon, when we are ‘suffering’ a mind – emotional problem.
A client said something really awesome to me; it stopped me in my stride! Which, actually clients always do stop me in ‘my stride’ every day – because I learn so much that is new and valuable from them.
What do I learn?
Well, I learn about Consciousness. I learn about: ‘To boldly go where no man has been before’ (quote from Star Trek – for those non Trekky’’s amongst us!)
I am ‘bold’ enough to reframe this quote, with all respect to Gene Rodenberry who developed Star Trek in 1964, that we are to boldly ‘go’ and explore ‘inner space’, explore the as yet unexplored boundless, freeing Consciousness.
I absolutely know that as we explore & expand our Consciousness we Free ourselves from mind & emotional problems & suffering which ‘stagnate’ us & ‘control’ us.
We Free our self into peace, inner stability, inner resourcefulness, inner & outer harmony & well being.
Anyway, I was talking with you about my client who was working on a problem he had (of course he was – no one comes to me to Work because they are full on happy!)
His problem was about the painful hurt he was suffering in a close and important relationship.
I asked him: “What do you want to achieve?”
He replied; “I want to have meekness.”
I never ever make suppositions about any of my Work either in my recorded CD/Mp3 courses, or my 1:1 Work. But I was struck surprised by his word ‘meekness’. I asked him what he meant by meekness? He said that: “Meekness is the ability to see clearly and to not mind….. “
Brilliant!
In other words – to be in a place and space in our mind to no longer be responding from ‘pain’ and hurt, and therefore to not respond inappropriately by either ‘withdrawing into a bleak hiding mood’ or getting into a ‘fury’ – or turning to food – feeling frightened, nervous – stressing, tossing and turning all night……….that endless circle of not knowing whether to blame them (or blame something, the weather, the government, the price of fuel…..) or take the blame our self.
Considering ‘meekness’ as a response is not me or my client being naïve! It is about seeing clearly – not minding – and having time to respond appropriately. By appropriately that means from a ‘clean’ clear place that is in the present free of hurt or ‘pain’ from our past.
So, I think his take on ‘meekness’ is truly awesome.

How can we begin to do this? And meekness may of course not be your preferred response. How can we respond to the ‘stinky’ stuff from a ‘clean’ resourceful place.

.
Here’s a Tip Top Tip from me – for you to work with:
Pause for a few moments, even though you’re hurting, and ask: “Does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience?”
You’ll know if it belongs to a younger life experience because you’ll have had the feelings & thoughts before, the feelings & thoughts won’t be brand new, there will be a familiar ‘knotting’ of ‘pain’ in your stomach, chest, heart, throat….A churning…. an emptiness…… a pounding….. a tightening…….. a pressure…… a heaviness……. a numbing & a withdrawing………..
Once you realise this is familiar ‘pain’ the strategy is to acknowledge it by saying convincingly to yourself:
“That’s Right! That really did hurt me …when I was aged about…….(You’ll know about how old you were…) So, in ‘honouring’ your past ‘pain’ you help your self not to hide and withdraw into a mood or get angry with them, or angry with whatever is going on for you in the present – and you also help to ease, and even begin to resolve, a past ‘pain’ with which you got ‘stuck’
And – what you will be doing with my Tip top Tip – is: ‘To boldly go where no man has been before’ – You will journey boldly & also totally safely – you will I promise, gain some Amazing results for your self.
How do I know that my Tip Top Tip is safe for you to ‘Enterprisingly’ journey in your Consciousness? I know because for over 30 years I’ve studied, diligently the Clean Language of the Unconsciousness mind. And the question: “Does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience?” is exactly that: Clean. It does not give (import), advice, suppositions, suggestion or analysis.
ENJOY your boldness & ENJOY your amazing results

You’ll be a very welcome visitor to www.sally-stubbs.com/ where there’s loads of great information & also at www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
My Story “It’s A Breeze Let the New Blow In” will absolutely help you to ‘boldly go’ Have a listen on You Tube.

Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com comments are very welcome

Tags: Breeze, clean language, meekness, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, spring, to boldly go where no man has been before
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WHY WE’RE ‘BLIND DEAF’ TO GREAT OPPORTUNITIES:

February 25th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Hello
Sorry I’ve been a bit ‘off the radar’ recently. Life has been hectic.
I totally believe, no! I know that great good opportunities abound – for all of us – but we cannot see them or hear them or feel them when our minds are suffering because much of our unconscious – and conscious mind – is tied up in our problem state trying to find solutions, particularity the solution: I Must “Pull myself up with my boot laces!”

Very British but actually defies physics! No Joke! We can’t! So as we continue to suffer with our problem, from lack of self worth to being overweight, to feeling perpetually angry with the world, to not being able to sleep, to feeling nervous, anxious, frightened and upset……… we are ‘blinded’ and ‘deafened’ to some of the really truly great good opportunities in life. Why are we? Because we have to keep our ‘eyes and ears’ on our problem, we do this in the hope that our problem doesn’t get worse. And when we do see and hear these opportunities we feel ‘frozen’ unable to do anything, unable to respond. We think; “Oh God that great opportunity is not for me! I’m too fat, too nervous, too tired…….. I’m bloody angry! I’m tired and weary of trying and failing, my confidence has fled….”
Let us consider a brief overview of history of our amazing human achievement:
Homo sapiens, the closest to us as humans, first appeared, according to fossil evidence, about 200,000 in East Africa.
The Renaissance was a cultural movement that spanned the period roughly from the 14th to the 17th century.
Since the renaissance, let us wonder at what we have gone on to achieve in a very, very short period of time:
The industrial revolution spread throughout Britain during the 1800’s. As we know the use of steam-powered machines lead to a massive increase in the number of factories and so on – amazing feats of engineering.
The technological revolution really started to get big in the 1960’s.
Why, you may well be asking, are we considering the speed of what we humans have achieved in such a short amount of time?
Because we need to ask: What’s next?
What’s next is the Consciousness revolution! “What does that mean?” a friend asked me the other week.
It is the Evolution of the mind. The healing of the mind & the emotions ‘pain’ & bewilderment. It is the clearing of the clutter of negative or destructive beliefs gained or learnt thru’ life. It is the mind becoming a ‘weapon’ for mass Construction of inner and outer harmony. It is the exploration of ‘Man’s final frontier’ – ‘inner’ space.

I can promise you that I am not being naive here!
I used to be ‘blind’ and ‘deaf’ – to my immeasurable potential – I also suffered all the problems – the anxieties the fear the lack of sleep…..! And I got resolution, thru’ my kind of therapy work, so I know you can, or your friend or family member can.
So what can we do to resolve our suffering and our hurt?
Two main things we can do.
One – We can learn to unlearn our inappropriate unconscious responses, over which we feel we have no control, to certain stimuli or ‘triggers’ in our daily lives.
Two – We can discover how to heal and free ourselves from our emotional wounds where we got ‘stuck’!
Do visit www.sally-stubbs.com -contains lots of good solid rigorously researched information.

We need to discover the right way to clear our mind – to experience our ‘inner’ world as pristine. This is what I’ve devoted my life to: learning the how to do this.
Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com

Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk, opportunities, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, self help hypnosis, stuck
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GET OFF THE FENCE!

February 14th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

No More Pussy Footing Around

Hello

Great, we’re ‘getting off the fence’ as regards suffering! Real horrific suffering.
Pain, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’
Dr. John Sarno calls it ‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’
This is a story about Debbie (not her real name).
I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!
Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with depression and prescribed anti depressants.
Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did.
I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up.
Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’
Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me”, and she constantly feels totally numb.
In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me”, which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.
Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.
So I asked what happened about ten years ago.
“My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.
Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”
Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”
Believe me, I personally totally understand such great, great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our heart and mind.
But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.
Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death.
This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.
Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………
Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting………
And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her self to make the effort.
I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you.
I believe her story will somehow help you.
So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here is your medication.”
“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a therapist for you who Works this way…..”
Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s heart wrenching………..please visit
www.rapha-hypnosis.com you will be warmly welcomed.
Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com please feel free to contact me:

Tags: depression, pain, painkillers, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs
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THE FROG CHILD?

February 6th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

More on the frog story:)
Hello:- read out loud!
So let’s really get down to it – and wonder some more – about the two frogs in our story:
One of them is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary……………..
Who is our first Frog?
First Frog is pretty much all of us.
Then there’s Frog Two – the one on top – the one who seems totally carefree, emotionally sorted (that’s a rare being!) the one who says kind, logical, practical and eventually bloody infuriating stuff to first Frog like:
“Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.”
“I’ll give you a hand,” “Hah but – there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. “And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“What about companionship with other frogs?”
Of Frog Two – am I saying – pretty much all us humans have got ‘stuck’ with one or more emotional issues. (‘Issues’ is the modern word for bewilderment & even ‘pain’)? Yes I am too.
And I do have every respect for those Frog Two’s in our life – for the outstanding attempts that they make to deal in their own life with their emotional ‘issues’.
Lets now turn our attention to Frog One:-
When First Frog was younger – First Frog was fascinated by most all and everything in life. Exploring, hopping off in all, (and occasionally ‘wrong’!) directions, and absolutely filled with curiosity. The world was at one with First Frog and First Frog was at one with the world.
Can you remember those times?
All around our young First Frog were – bigger frogs. Sometimes HUGELY big frogs – those are the frogs with authority – the frogs that can lay down the law. The frogs that can inform First Frog of stuff that is not the truth – such as “First Frog you are useless, not perfect – and not acceptable.”
All this from some of the big frogs and some of the HUGELY big frogs – is the heavy traffic that ‘made the ruts’ in the world of First Frog.
And you know most of the big frogs did not realise what they were doing. And did not notice that First Frog hid in the ruts – to keep safe.
Why would we hide in the rut – it seems like a paradox?
It goes like this: HUGELY big frog informs First Frog – “You are useless!” – HUGELY big frog will usually throw into the mix – some annoyance, frustration, anger – or the ‘… you are hurting me….’ looks and sighs. Now First Frog is not only useless they are guilty of hurting…..
It is safer for First Frog – to ‘go into’ – and hide their true buoyant, zest for life nature – in the ‘I am useless’ rut.
I wanted us to spend some time with this today – because – my ‘Tip Top Tips’ – last week were for you to write down your goal – WHICH HAS GOT TO BE the beginning ‘first step’ to get out of your ‘problem’ state – and for you to next write down your reasons and purposes to be in a problem free state.
Well, as for our First Frog – there is an inner understanding that it is safe to remain stuck in the ‘I am useless rut’.
This is so often a deeply driven understanding. We hide our true self away – to keep our true self safe – because what might the HUGELY big Frog do next. Best stay in the ‘rut’ & keep quiet.
So, reasons and purposes are really valuable on this journey to being problem free. Reasons & purposes won’t quite cut it yet. Even though they are our very own – and not Frog Two’s -
“You’ll have more friends and better food up here…”

YOUR reasons & purposes will definitely assist us to get motivated. We next need to unravel the beliefs that are tangled up within us – before we can know that is safe to come out – and be free – free of our problem state.
I’m thinking you could be a little excited – to wonder that next week we are going to Work on untangling the negative beliefs that keep us in or problem state – our ‘rut’ our place of hiding.
Do go and listen to my gift for you – which I have posted on You Tube called –‘ It’s a Breeze’ - This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s only taken me 30 years to perfect this Hypnotic story along with my other ones.
It’s only been on You Tube a few days – and I’ve had loads of great feedback.
ENJOY it…………………
Listen to this one story every day for 10 days – it will so help you clear your mind to get really focused on your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: please check out my life changing material here.

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

http://www.rapha-hypnosis.com/
www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: frog story, frogs, hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs
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AND THE QUESTION IS?

January 30th, 2013

getting out of a rut!

Are you stuck in a rut?

Remember the two frogs in our story?

One of them is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is, the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary.
The other frog shouts down to him: “Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up: “I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog. “Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.” “OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. And you’ll sleep better out here.” “I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?” “Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
When we are stuck in a ‘rut’ – and by ‘a rut’ I mean the symptoms which cause us emotional ‘pain’ such as:
• being disconnected from our self and from others
• of relating badly to our food,
• of being afraid,
• feeling nervous
• panicky
• stressed
• of not sleeping well
– and so on – our wonderful well meaning friends will ask of us, with great concern: Why don’t you think happy thoughts? Why don’t you just go out and socialise? Why don’t you learn about which are the healthy foods?
Because our friends’ are wonderful and caring and what they ask of us makes perfect sense – we maybe try the happy thoughts or the socialising for a while. None of it is lasting, because part of us is still ‘stuck’.
Unlike our first frog – we do not want to wait for a major crisis coming along in our life to make us move out of ‘where we are stuck’.
The ‘Why’ questions do not work to help us to really move out of our ‘stuck state’.
Let’s try as an example: – “Why don’t you think happy thoughts?”
“Because I’ve tried that and failed, it doesn’t last. Because I don’t actually feel happy when I make myself have happy thoughts!”
Conversely the goal setting question does work – it is the beginning point to be able to move ‘out of the stuck’ place
Our goal gives us a place to go to – otherwise we won’t move. We would never get out of our chair unless we had a goal – even to go and make a hot drink!
I have talked about this question before; it’s well worth another viewing!
Here it is, ask yourself:
“And – what do I want to have happen?” (Mark this because it’s the Golden Bullet of this letter)
Because this is an unusual question – you will get unusual responses from yourself.
Go for it! Write it down. Be spontaneous. Have a flow of consciousness – or ‘nail it’ straight away.
I am talking here about emotional and psychological goals, such as:
“I want to stop feeling depressed, angry, lonely, misunderstood. I want to be myself – I want to know myself, find myself. I want to be free to be me. I want to sleep well. I want to be happy in my own skin……..”

Write it down. Ponder on your goal. We can all do this goal setting regularly. It is part of our humanness to want to ‘move on’ in our immeasurable potential!
Next – you need your purposes and reasons for wanting your goal – without these our mind will not make the move to change. Write them down.
We would not get out of our chair to make a hot drink – unless we had reasons – the obvious – “I’m thirsty!” “I need a break from my chair!!”

Please enjoy my gift to you which I have posted on You Tube called –’ It’s a Breeze’ - This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s a Breeze helps you communicate with the ‘latent’ wisdom and resources of your unconscious mind, assisting you to move towards your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses, please check out my life changing material here.

ENJOY

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

Tags: frogs, hypnosis, insomnia, Sally Stubbs, stressed, unhappy
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A Travel Guide To Get You Out Of A Rut!

January 23rd, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Hop out of your rut?

We’ve had a really great response from readers of Time Out London, brilliant and a very warm welcome to you all.
.

I’ve been thinking about how we get ‘stuck’ in patterns of thinking, beliefs and behaviours, which do not actually validate our self and do not fully celebrate our life.

It’s like the story about two frogs.
One of them is hopping around in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The other frog shouts down to him:
“Hey, come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up:
“I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog
“Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.”
“OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?”
“Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
A few days later the second frog is amazed to see the first frog jumping natural frog jumps about beside him:
“Hey, what happened, I thought you were staying in your rut?”
“Yeah, I got out! There was a big truck coming!”

A few people over the years have said to me:
“Um, well, I haven’t heard or seen the truck coming at me yet!”
And basically a few of these same people have carried on to say: “What’s the point in getting out of my rut? I’ve adapted my self to being here. Sure, I’m disconnected from other people; I’m even disconnected from my real self. So, I’m not healthily nourished. However it’s safe to ‘hide’ in my rut! And the truck coming will never get me.”
This really is the Essence of why we stay stuck in the rut – it is a place or state to be safe.
Let’s take a few moments to consider a few symptoms to help make sense of this wonderful metaphor of the stuck frog.
Symptoms such as nervousness, anxieties, fears, sleeplessness, difficulty relating to other people and to our self, difficulty in relating happily to our food intake – and so on………
All these symptoms are actually searching for the problem – and the problem is that at certain times in our life we got ‘stuck’ The issue is that this problem is a paradox – in that being ‘stuck’ – was originally a protection, a safe space to live a part life – never- the-less a ‘safe’ space at the time. Eventually our ‘safe’ space begins to feel more like a prison, we feel disconnected from life and from our vast potentials.
So I think that I can say, as an overview of my Work, 1:1 – and my Work on my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: is I’m assisting the discovery of a safe natural space outside of the ‘rut’. I’m a travel guide to getting out the rut.
By the way I have uploaded one of the 15 tracks from my ‘Don’t Wait to be the Right Weight’ audio treatment to You Tube for you to get a feel for how I communicate with your unconscious. Have a listen?
Celebrating life and thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com
Cures that Endure

Tags: Sally Stubbs, self help hypnosis, Time Out London, You Tube
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SELF CONFIDENCE – RECIPE FOR SUCCESS!

January 21st, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Successful people ooze self confidence: this probably explains why so much psychological research has been done to identify what it is that all successful people have in common. And by successful, the research ranged from someone wanting to be successful in their home life, family, health, relationships, or creative work to the massive corporate businesses such as Bill Gates at Microsoft.

How to apply positive strategies… in order to successfully grow your own confidence you need to do three things:
Number 1 – know what you want: this means that you need to set yourself a comprehensive goal.
You may feel overwhelmed by the number of goals that you want to achieve. You need to take one goal at a time, perhaps a small one to begin with. Write it down; continue to refine your goal as you go along.
Number 2 – know your reasons or purposes to succeed as you need to know this in order to remain fully motivated.
This will help you to focus on your motivation for achieving your goal. As all behaviour has a purpose, behaviour does not have meaning as such, behaviour has purpose, knowing your own unique purposes to gain self confidence, will really ‘spring board’ you towards achieving your goal successfully.
Number 3 – you must believe that you will succeed.
Once you have these three things you will then have the self confidence to accomplish what you want.
You will need to work to change your negative beliefs. Our beliefs are driving a massive part of our behaviour. If we believe we can, we can. If we believe we can’t, we can’t.

Here are some practical tips on how to accomplish these tasks and use them to improve your self confidence.

Setting your goal
Always write your goal in the positive. Why? Because, simplistically our amazing brain will respond to an instruction to be calm, strong, and have inner harmony. Rather than responding to an instruction to not be nervous and tongue tied.
Our brain is amazing, but it will see and hear, ‘be nervous and tongue tied’. Just as you have done as you have been reading this!
Once you have decided what your goal is you need to speak your goal, out loud, several times. As you speak, the vitally important thing for you to do is to be very aware of any inner objections, (which will be negative beliefs,) either in your feelings or your thoughts. An objection could be something like a knotted stomach, or a negative ‘I can’t do that…’ thought.

Know your purpose
So, this is about you getting really focused and motivated, with loads of energy to move you onwards to successfully achieve your goal. As I’ve said, deeply knowing your own purposes will assist your motivation.
You may be thinking that your purposes to gain self confidence are obvious? No they aren’t, your purposes will contain nuances and fine details unique to you.
So, let us consider having the confidence to go for that job interview. Your goal is to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when you’re communicating with interviewers.
So, you need to then ask yourself: What is my purpose in wanting to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when I’m communicating with interviewers?
My example answer: This will really help me in my career.
Keep asking, to really get to your depth of purpose: What is my purpose in really wanting to get on with my career?
Answer: My family and friends will be proud of me.
I urge you to keep on asking the same question, and the same for each of your purposes, until you maybe get a ‘Ting’ moment, which gives you a deeper understanding of your purposes than you’d thought of before. In my simple example, the ‘Ting’ moment is like this: ‘Wow, I hadn’t realised that I want my family and friends to feel proud of me!’
I urge you to make notes about your purposes.
This is a very simplistic example, I so hope it lets you realise the depths and importance of really knowing your own purposes.
Believe in yourself
The problem with this is that many of our beliefs are unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them. How can you first know, and then deconstruct your unconscious negative beliefs, specifically about achieving your goal?
Seriously, achieving this can be tricky on your own; it can be like ‘pulling yourself up by your own boot laces’. You may want to consider my course on gaining self confidence which is assisting you to work comfortably with your own unconscious beliefs, an amazing thing to do. Unconscious belief systems can be tricky because the ‘language’ is of the unconscious.
Take your time to write notes by asking questions of all the objections. Ask: Where does that objection come from? As you learn the history of the negative beliefs, you will be able to deconstruct them.
Along with my studies and practice of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy I have developed my remarkable courses available as a set of 5 CD’s or as MP3 download from my web site:http://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3
I wish you every success and an inner experience of unity, harmony and peace.

Sally

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DIFFERENTIATION of POSITIVE & NEGATIVE BELIEFS:

January 16th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Good Day to All

I woke up this morning with a good plan to talk more with you about the’ Little Girl’s’ amazing pure wisdoms, particularly about what she has called ‘blind spots’.

I mean, there is a load more about this for us to explore and make useful in our day to day life. Assisting us all towards more happiness, more inner awareness in our search for our ‘pristine me’, more inner certainty combined with a wise flexibility.

Like I’ve said before I do not put a ceiling on our inner happiness!! Inner happiness is not a ‘sum’ – it is immeasurable in potential.

And, you know if you disagree with me, great, your disagreement will be a gift of exploration for me, expanding my thinking and perceptions, I’d love to hear from you privately: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Last week I received an email which uplifted me, (and I’m ensuring the content and the person remains private).
The title of the email is: ‘Finally contacting you!’ Their opening words are:
“For more than a year I have been wanting to contact you but always felt “inappropriate” to do so.
Tonight I am taking the plunge……”

It seems it was my friend ‘The Little Girl’, and her understanding of ‘blind spots’ which gave encouragement to this person to, after a whole year: ‘…take the plunge…..’ I felt privileged to receive this story, I totally respect the effort and courage an email like this one takes…………

Anyway, my plan for us to explore more about ‘blind spots’ today does link with my Rant!
My Rant is about a video which I decided to watch this morning, on the internet. Certainly it was put up there by a very well-meaning coach.

Well-meaning versus mis-guided – is my Rant!

The coach maintained that we can dump all our negative belief systems within seconds and: “You’ll wake up in the morning, jump up to throw the curtains back, and live an entirely new and successful life”….(Once you buy her: ‘Dump your negative beliefs course in seconds’…. nonsense)

Hey, I do not have any Rant about marketing Great products! My Rant is about products that do not ‘do what it says on the tin’.

Simplistically this is how our belief systems work: – Some of our beliefs, are actually treasures, such as our values, our social morays, our sense of responsibility and care for others and our environment…….
Our positive beliefs will have aspects that are undifferentiated from our negative beliefs. My allegory is like our pristine ‘me’ our pristine experience of ‘self’ – along with the added positive beliefs that we learnt though life, is pure water – into which also drops and drops and drops of different stinky murky stuff was poured!
Stinky stuff you might have been exposed to such as: “Your ‘me’ is unacceptable…” “Your ‘me’ is a failure…..” “Your ‘me’ is ugly….”

Differentiation required: – To separate and clean out the ‘stinky stuff’ & keep and maintain well the treasures of positive beliefs – Takes Time! And care!
Why do we need to Take Careful Time? Because our ‘me’ will not come out of hiding if we do a fast swift ‘clean out’.
As Mike says: “Our ‘me’ is not interested in ‘fast food’ therapy! It is wise enough to know ‘fast food’ will not nourish it!”
So, in praise of your ‘me’ my CD / MP3 courses take half an hour a day for 10 of the forty days to Work thoroughly on differentiation, cleaning out the negative ‘muck’ and treasuring our positive life enhancing, life celebrating beliefs…………http://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3 this is where you can find details of all my treatments: please take a peek….
I have uploaded a complete track, one of the 15 from my ‘Don’t Wait to Lose Weight’ course on You Tube for you to listen to so you can get a feel for how I work.
On this track I am communicating in the language of the unconscious so it might sound a little strange, just go with it and enjoy the experience. (By the way it is not the track about differentiation).

Celebrating life and thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://www.sally-stubbs.com

Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: hypnosis, hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk, me, products, Sally Stubbs, wisdom
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EVER VIGILANT GUARDIAN:

January 9th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

More wisdom from my friend the wise “Little Girl”

I am wishing you every joy, and every happiness not just for the coming New Year – for all the years to come……………………
Let’s talk some more about my friend the “Little Girl” and what she has to say.
Because, whatever problem any of us may be suffering – her wisdom is wondrously universal. Her wisdom will assist any of us to gain insights as to how we can return to our pristine, resourceful, happy self, no matter if we are suffering with sleeplessness, or carrying ‘weight’ – or relating to our self without esteem and respect for our self.
Name it!
And if her insights don’t apply I’ll make another offer to eat my hat!
So my friend the “Little Girl”: She has been talking to me about what she calls ‘blind spots’.
“You can have blind spots about your ‘me’ and about other people and situations. Blind spots happen when you have an ‘Ouch’ sometimes a huge ‘Ouch’. Some ‘Ouches’ are small and they can add up, like a sum, to a big ‘Ouch’ Blind spots are made of horrid stuff – that’s not real though they feel real until you see through them.”
Bear with me please – this is such pure information, and can make for such huge important changes.
She and I talked for a couple of hours about ‘blind spots’ and I’m about to have the impudence to précis our talk!!
OK – examples are the simplest way to précis.
Your parent, parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicates to your ‘me’:
“Your (me is) stupid – ugly – useless – a failure – unacceptable………….”
Your ‘me’ feels ‘Ouch’
Add a few ‘Ouches’ together and your ‘me’ – your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’ goes into hiding, withdraws.
And your ‘me’ often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding.
The ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’.
The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from a wrong communication, which caused an ‘Ouch’, from parents, teacher, friend, sibling.
By the way, seeing through the wrong communication does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend…….
So why would you bother to restore your ‘me’ to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony?
Because when our ‘me’ is in hiding we have symptoms such as difficulty relating, sleeplessness, phobias, can’t relate to food in a good way, get nervous, lack self esteem. These and symptoms like them deprive you of a fully happy, harmonious life.
So how can you begin to restore your ‘me’ to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

Get started on one of my half an hour a day for forty days courses on CD or MP3 download. (Money back guarantee.)
Have a look at the websites http://www.sally-stubbs.com/ and http://www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
You will comfortably find and restore your ‘me’.
Your ‘me’ has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do whatever you want.
Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one. He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.”
Although he is a successful business man, and he has two uni. Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really stupid. I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.”
He did my 40 day, 30 mins a day CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found his ‘me’!
Contact me if you would like my advice, on my private email sally@sally-stubbs.com
Once we find our ‘me’ and is restored to ‘it’s’ rightful place, like the writing that runs throughout a stick of rock, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space – Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ in our living room!!
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://www.sally-stubbs.com/

Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: gain confidence, hypnosis, hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk, lose weight, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, wisdom
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LIBBY’S SUCCESS STORY: GROW YOUR OWN HAIR!

December 20th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Libby’s Story
Here for you, to uplift your heart, as it does mine, is a profound story, Libby’s story.
If you don’t shed a soft tear or two at Libby’s story, and her exquisite way of talking, I promise you I will eat my hat!
Libby wanted her story in her own name.
I haven’t met Libby yet, though I have ‘journeyed’ with her and ‘beside’ her for one hundred and twenty days on my CD course; “You Can Grow Your Own Hair.”
I will meet her soon; I’m going to give her a hug.
Libby tells you her story, she wrote it for me and sent it in the post. It was really brilliant to open, neatly hand written on sheets of pale blue paper.
“My name is Libby and I am fifty three years old. I consider myself to be a nice person, you see I had to learn to love myself; my childhood was so hard, I never ever felt loved.
Then my first husband was a control freak. For thirteen years I just existed. I was continuously beaten up, and I was also put down with every word he ever spoke to me.
When I finally got out of that I made a promise to myself to trust only in myself.
Life on the outside got easier, but on the inside I was crying and crying all the time.
By 1999 my parents were dead and by 2006 I had lost my brother and my sister.
I had lovely people beside me, my second husband and my three children. And yet I still felt the crying and crying going on and on inside me.
From 2006 I threw myself into work, doing two part time jobs and wedding buffets at weekends. All this was just activity, no time for reflection, just work keeping me on my feet, keeping me constantly busy and so stopping me from thinking about the past.
But you see, I know that this was just ‘papering over the cracks’, and not bringing any kind of healing for me to my past, not helping me move on into what I had, in the present, which is a good life with my lovely husband and my lovely children.
I just kept on working I just kept on and on going and going to try to save me from the pain of thinking of the years gone by.
Then in February 2010 I was diagnosed with alopecia and within eight weeks I was totally, totally bald.
I was completely devastated. I did not have any faith in the doctors, why should I, they were not helpful.
I read about an alopecia club in the town where I live and I thought: “If I go along maybe they, or someone could help me….”
I went along and I told the group that I do not trust people easily. I made a friend and I was put in contact with Sally Stubbs.
But here I was, having to think about putting my trust in a complete stranger. Could I trust Sally to help?
But what more did I have to lose; I mean I’d lost all my hair, which is so devastating, I mean a totally devastating thing, to lose all your hair.
A leaflet arrived with Sally’s CD course which said “You Can Grow Your Own Hair”
I thought, if only I could. I thought, if I do this one hundred and twenty day course what will happen?
Well this is what happened. On May 15th 2010 I made my mind up to do the course. I listened every day, I worked on my journal, I listened to the stories and to the relaxations, very soon I got to feel really focused and wanting to do it.
And, within two weeks I noticed changes like my nails were stronger, which I strangely knew meant an emotional change and strengthening for me and there were tiny little hairs on my bald head.
Then I thought if I continue, if I just trust in Sally’s work to help me, something good can continue to happen for me.
And wow, by the ninth part of my course, which was on day eighty one, I really did understand the importance of trust. I also knew by then that every single hair I had lost represented every pain that I had ever felt and suffered. Yes, that’s right I knew that I had suffered thousands of pains.
My emotional pain has healed now, it’s like it has mysteriously been acknowledged, honoured, like my pains have been witnessed or respected and so they are gone.
When I started Sally’s CD course I had some edible seeds, which I had hoped against hope would help my hair to grow if I ate them. I took those seeds and planted them in a plant pot, they became a kind of symbol for me, if the seeds grow so will my hair.
Sally taught me a lot, about belief, especially belief in your self, whilst I was doing her course on the CD’s.
I have this thought now which is, if I believe in my self then I will achieve.
And yes the plant pot is full of lovely purple flowers and yes my head is full of lovely hair.
The course is like an exciting journey, a bit like the Matrix film for me, I listened to the course a couple of times and I was hooked, I was excited I wanted to know and learn and achieve more and more. I find myself smiling a lot of the time, I can now tell myself: If I look up to the stars I will smile if I keep looking down I will frown.
I find myself helping other people with my knowledge from Sally’s CD course.
I’d like to tell you one of my stories, it’s about an elderly gentleman who I work with, he is eighty nine and he is crippled with arthritis, he can use his walking frame.
He used to play the trumpet in a band, a man full of music and rhythm.
He loves the rock and roll years and he loved to dance.
But he told me that he can’t walk let alone dance anymore.
I found myself saying to him, “does your brain want to dance but your body believes it can’t?”
He said yes, that’s right. I replied: “Focus your mind that you can get up and dance….”
And he got up, with a little help from me and then he did dance, he rocked to rock around the clock. How brilliant is that.
As he sat down he cried tears of absolute joy.”
I want to hug Sally. I cannot thank her enough. She helped me to find my self.
There aren’t enough thanks in the world for Sally, because finding your self is invaluable.
No more loss for me.
I had lost my self that’s why I had lost my hair.”
“If I look up to the stars I will smile if I keep looking down I will frown.”
Libby Bolton
“If I believe in my self I will achieve.”
Libby Bolton
I won’t be eating my hat!!

If you’re interested in any of my courses please follow the link:
: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
Information on all my audio CD / MP3 treatments is available on the same link and on my web site .
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: Grow Your Own Hair, hypnosisdownloadcd, Hypnotherapy, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs
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HUMMING TRUMPETS?

December 12th, 2012

Hi Everyone

I am going to discuss with you ‘the walls of Jericho’ – as a truly valuable metaphor, so please forgive me if you are an archeologist or biblical scholar.
So briefly, historically, the Hebrew people were making their way to their home land, and Jericho the walled city presented a huge obstacle. The ‘walls’ of doubt, despair and fear had to go!
As a metaphor the ‘walls of Jericho’ are our doubts, despairs and fears that are preventing us from coming ‘home’ and being ‘at home’ with our self. Preventing us from being happy, safe, in harmonious relationship with our self, secure in ‘our own skin’
‘Home’ with our self where we were intended to be.
Carl Jung’s work called this state; Individuation.

I’m paraphrasing a Jungian here as an overview of Individuation:
‘Besides achieving physical and mental health, people who have advanced towards individuation, become harmonious, mature, responsible, they promote freedom and justice …….’
I like this one that I’m about to tell you.
A couple of years ago a client mentioned Individuation, he was frowning and looked very puzzled, then suddenly a ‘light bulb’ went on, he said to me:
“Oh, that means my Intended Being.”
My hair and skin stood happily ‘on end’ at the awesome beauty and clarity of these words. Being who we are Intended to be, is to be ‘be at Home’ free to be in harmony with ourself.
So the people were journeying home to the Promised Land, their psychological ‘Home’ and the walls of doubts, despair and fears were stopping them.
For ‘seven days and seven nights’ they walked round and round the walls, searching for the solution and resolution.
For some of my clients ‘seven days and seven nights’ has felt like a life time.
‘Who would have though it’ – they blew a trumpet and the walls fell down!
And that’s certainly thinking differently!
That is a top Ingredient of all my Work, to assist thinking really differently.
Absolutely everyone who has Worked with me 1:1 or with my audio courses, tells me, ‘I never would have thought of it like that before…’
That’s it you see, as we think the same old same old ways, even the ways of ‘eye of a newt and powdered chicken bones’! We get the same old same old results.
Maybe I’m ‘mixing my metaphors’!!! But Stephen Richards blew a Trumpet for me!
Stephen is no ‘light weight’ he is seriously successful. He is also exceedingly generous; I’ve called him a Knight Shining Light. You can find Stephen on www.cosmicordering.net

My walls around ‘Jericho’ were not of doubts, fear or despair! But were a row of my ‘soap boxes’ of frustration from which I call out: “We can cure psychological emotional and psychosomatic suffering, and keep the cure – and come ‘home’ to be our self….’
.
Enjoy! Any comments you may have to improve will be gratefully received by us.
Many Thanks
Warmly……
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com
Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: harmonious relationships, hypnosis, hypnosisdownloadcd, indiviuation, metaphor, Sally Stubbs
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ODE TO ‘AND’

December 6th, 2012

A Winning Submission
Hi Everyone
A different letter from me today. No hard thinking involved! A beautiful, romantic, wondering ‘Ode to And’ from Susie – thank you Susie:

SUSIE’s ‘ODE TO AND’.
We stayed up all night and talked and talked and then as the dawn began to break and the birds began to sing we decided to take a walk along the riverside where mama duck was leading her ducklings.
It was such a beautiful morning and the sunlight was dappling through the trees like a beacon and it was sooooo cold, but, because like a bat out of hell came the most horrendous storm with winds blowing and gales so forceful that we decided to head back indoors………………..……………………… However, if we had stayed outside ………… we could have watched a young family of ducklings swim frantically along the fast river following mama duck. ….We could have seen in the hedgerow a spider weaving its web and making the most intricate and delicate of patterns after which we could have snuggled together and kept warm and toasty as we sat on a nearby river seat and felt the snow flurries start to flutter gently down from the sky and have been quite happy just being together not saying a word feeling those snow flurries touching the skin softly on our faces and as we turned and smiled at each other and looked into one another’s eyes the palpable tension,.. tender and gently we could have tentatively stroked each others skin and then our hands could have become entwined for eternity and eventually our lips could tenderly meet skin upon skin lip upon lip tongue upon tongue and we could have melted like the snow flurries around us and then the words I had been waiting to hear: ‘will you spend the rest of your life with me”?
Can one imagine if one had used the word but in that first sentence then most probably the lovers would have run inside to take shelter to keep dry and warm .
Thankfully ‘but’ was not used instead ‘and’ continued on our ‘wee’ journey/walk to the end which turned out to be magical.”

Thank you again Susie. The power of ‘and’ hey?
Susie’s Ode is a ‘sliding doors’ story.
The ‘but’ its cold took this couple onto an entirely different path; ….we must go indoors, where we miss those magic moments Susie painted for us.
The path of: Its cold – ‘and’ we can snuggle up for our warmth goes somewhere entirely different!
It is so worth us stopping to think about our own ‘ands’ and ‘buts’.
I’ve had such a ‘sliding doors’ experience.
I was packing one evening, December 1992, to fly to Cape Town to meet Mike for a few weeks adventure in the African Bush.
(Not everyone’s Dream I know – it certainly was mine).
That evening, as I packed my case, I felt really anxious as I thought “I so want to be with Mike BUT I’m being irresponsible, leaving my clients …..”
That BUT in my thinking caused me to pick up the phone, honest truth, and dial Mike in Cape Town. I was on the last digit of his number, about to cancel meeting up with him when I thought; “Hang on….. I so want to be with Mike, go on this adventure – AND – I can check out what I’m feeling about being irresponsible…”
There was an unconscious belief in me driving that BUT! I’ve told this story before, and, maybe it’s worth telling again when I write to you.
Mike said if I’d made the call to cancel meeting him, he’d probably have filled the time with a girl who was saucily chasing him and have been ‘lost’ to me.
Mike & I had only known each other a few weeks at that time. Sliding doors! I have had exactly 20 years of adventure! And, more adventures to come! My gratitude to ‘and’ I could say is immeasurable………..
My wish for you is that you will stop a moment and check out your own ‘ands’ and ‘buts’ – for your self.

So for her Ode Susie won the CD / MP3 course of her choice.
If you’re interested I have an offer on my course; Don’t Wait to Lose Weight, £10.00 off.
The code you need and link to purchase it online at the discount price is available from here~: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: and, hypnosisdownloadcd, ode, Rapha Hypnosis, romantic, Sally Stubbs, talk
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GOOD VIBRATIONS!

December 5th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Hi Everyone
Sorry I’ve ‘been off the radar’ for a couple of weeks. It’s been ‘full on’ here!
I have been thinking so much about my conversations with my friend, the Little Girl, the one who is excited about learning sums. In case you did not get those two letters from me, she’s the amazing Little Girl who says: ‘There’s an eagle that can ‘see’ everybody’s unique ‘Me’ ‘. She explained this by saying:’…. if I dropped an eyelash in a shop, and some other people also dropped an eyelash in a shop, the eagle can ‘see’ this eyelash belongs to this person and that eyelash belongs to that person…’ And I reckoned she was talking about ‘seeing’ DNA!
So, are you up for getting serious!
Let’s consider this:
Every part of your body vibrates to its own rhythm. Your brain has a unique set of brain waves. In neuroscience, there are five distinct brain wave frequencies, namely Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta and the lesser known Gamma.
Each frequency, measured in cycles per second (Hz), has its own set of characteristics representing a specific level of brain activity and hence a unique state of consciousness.
Theta (4-7.5Hz): Theta brain waves are present during deep meditation and light sleep, including the REM dream state. Theta is the realm of your unconscious mind. A sense of deep spiritual connection and oneness with the Universe can be experienced at Theta. Your mind’s most deep-seated programs are all in Theta.
Delta (0.5-4Hz): The Delta frequency is the slowest and is present in deep, dreamless sleep and in very deep meditation where awareness is completely detached. Delta is the realm of your deep unconscious mind. It is the gateway to the Universal mind and the collective unconscious whereby information received is otherwise unavailable at the conscious level.
Beta (12-30Hz): Beta brain waves are associated with normal waking consciousness and a heightened state of alertness, logic and critical reasoning. As you go about your daily activities you are at Beta. Although important for effectively functioning in everyday life, higher Beta levels translate into stress, anxiety and restlessness. With the majority of adults primarily operating at Beta during their waking hours it is little wonder that stress is today’s most common health problem. The voice of Beta is the little nagging chatterbox of your inner critic, which becomes louder and more relentless the higher you go in the range.
Now, here’s the point: Young children’s brains, up until around the age of 7, are functioning in Theta and Delta. Their brain’s and therefore their unconscious mind has very little in the way of logical filters.
So, into a young child’s unconscious mind goes, mostly unfiltered, the beliefs of the important adults in their life.
Many of those beliefs, from mostly well meaning adults, are not constructive, are not validating, are not fully celebrating of a young child’s life!
Look, I really want you to feel comfortable with what I’m saying so we can take all this seriously! I’m a parent! Before I got into all this kind of work that I now do, I was a young Mum – imposing my unconscious beliefs on my ‘wide open’ kids.
I’ve been busy helping my kids undo some of their non constructive belief systems…….
This is what I really want to say, I was ‘blown away’ a few years ago when I started reading some of the massive research of a Russian neuroscience programme on how our DNA reacts positively and negatively to sound. I think this is major……
So, when our voices speak to our kids and say non constructive stuff – what if, like the Little Girl’s eagle, we could see how our kids DNA are reacting! Imagine that! Wouldn’t every adult shut up with the destructive stuff!
I read this profile on Twitter yesterday, the guy said:
I’m into weapons of mass construction! I sent him a congratulations tweet!
The next thing I’m pursuing is: Do our thoughts have sounds?
Fancy joining me in finding out? Because if our thoughts do have sounds – we’ll all be working pretty quickly to changing a lot of our thoughts – and assisting our own DNA, as well as our kids, to be constructive…….
Please email me your thoughts sally@sally-stubbs.com – my private email address.
Oh and another web site for you to have a look at: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/

Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Tags: DNA, kids, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, unconcious mind
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GREAT UNCLE BULGARIA:

November 29th, 2012

Great Uncle Bulgaria

Hypnotherapy Cures that Endure

My Special Uncle, we as kids, OK, I admit it, and as adults still call him Great Uncle Bulgaria.

Like the Top Womble Leader he was up for the Times Crossword, that’s about the only likeness really, oh that and his rotund belly, as our Great Uncle Bulgaria was and is all human-traited. (Cool new word hey!)
When our Great Uncle Bulgaria was a single young man, at around mid-day on Saturdays, we’d go round to his house leap onto his snoring body, where it was all tangled up in blankets, thinking it hilarious to chuck all manner of things on top of him, from cold wet flannels, to, necessary deodorant, to anything we thought highly funny really.
Blimey, he’d chase us all around the house, bellowing in some strange beery fumed wide spread horrible voice that he would bl***y ‘kill us’. Of course he would, any young bloke with a hangover would, being tortured like that!
Oddly enough it never ended in tears!!!
So, my Special Uncle has cancer which has metastasised, gone to a secondary site, in his body. Serious…. And of course I am really, really sad.
But, I think, maybe I could have stopped this horrific illness happening.
I’ve been wondering if you’ve been wondering; “What on earth is Sally talking about?”
First I just want to say that I really do understand the suffering, I was beside my Mum, and with my Mum, ten years ago. Her death was so, so painful for her, her death certificate said: Liver Cancer.
I know grief…….
I tried to help her to get well. I thought at the time that she & I were too close. In fact, ten years ago, I did not know enough.
That is why every single day I learn and I learn.
We have Giants amongst us, upon whose shoulders we can stand, and thanks to them, we can see further…….. And everyone who I work with, 1:1 or with my audio Work, are also the Giants from whom I learn and learn.
You see, how our psyche, our unconscious mind affects our soma, our body, has been a focus for me since I was age 18, when I had an Epiphanic Moment, (a phrase from our dear David Grove, which mostly I’ve heard referred to as ‘Light bulb moment’ – But, I happen to love David’s words, and maybe others have coined the phrase too…)
So, here is my point: All illness has a psychological ‘drive’ within it. By bringing healing and resolution to the problem within our unconscious mind, we are bringing vast healing for our bodies suffering.
I believe as a human community the more we become Conscious the less our bodies will need the medications.
Do we want to go this way? I certainly do!
This is no ‘arm chair theory’ from me. If you are interested try Professor Kathryn Rossi and Dr Ernest Rossi, Professor Lipton, Dr Sarno, Dr J Harper, Burt Goldman – for starters. We have a whole host of Giant’s offering us their shoulders to stand on………
As for my Great Uncle Bulgaria, a Manchester lad, who became very successful in his medical career, and very posh, he had Dyspnoea.
About 7 years ago, I went to see him and my Auntie in their very grand and lovely new house. They proudly showed me around, and in my Uncles bedroom was a load of kit to help him to keep breathing through the night.
He said; “I sometimes stop breathing through the night (Dyspnoea) – I bet you can’t help with that, can you?” (The challenging ole bu***r!!)
I said I probably could! We sat in his beautiful garden with a glass of (fine) wine, we talked and I explained.
His life time of compounded arguments about my Work soon melted like snowballs on a fire!
You see I had noticed as he talked about his breathing a “T Minus One”, a time in his life when he got ‘stuck’, an emotionally frightening time, when he was unconsciously stopping his breathing…….. holding his breath.
He said: “I might come and see you…”
I said: “I will wait to hear from you….”
He never did………………………….
Let us together Work towards, perhaps first of all, putting an end to psychological and emotional suffering.

Thank you for joining me….. Thank you for caring.

Why not visit my wonderful new site www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

Great Uncle Bulgaria

Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

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CHICKEN OR EGG: WHICH CAME FIRST?

November 19th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

What’s on my mind? I’ve given this a lot of thought the past few days, so I’m just going to say it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and responses.
I read this Tweet from National Alliance on Mental Illness of Massachusetts:
“Mental Illnesses are brain disorders, legitimate medical illnesses, just like heart disease & diabetes.”
Reading lots of their Tweets, clearly NAMIM are really working hard.
I did reply to this Tweet saying: This could be an ‘egg – chicken’ situation, and would they be interested in Dr John Sarno’s life time research?
In that the ‘egg’ is the emotional suffering coming first, which then causes the brain to respond, particularly with altered serotonin chemistry which is not a disorder; it is an emotionally induced chemical reaction, resulting in the symptom.
My experience for 30 years has been that as we Resolve and Cure the emotional suffering and pain, the brain does realign itself.
Dr John Sarno has a distinguished career as a ground breaking medical pioneer, going beyond pain, both physical and emotional, to address the entire spectrum of mind and mind-body suffering.
The interaction between the generally reasonable, rational, ethical conscious mind and the ‘stuck’ feelings of emotional suffering, pain, sadness, shame, anger of the unconscious are the basis for mind and many mind-body (psycho-somatic) problems.
‘We can study the anatomy and physiology and chemistry of the brain forever and a day, but it will teach us nothing about mind and mind-body problems, nor will it teach us about emotional pain and suffering’ states Dr John Sarno.
Dr Sarno goes on to say that: ‘This is because the deviations from the normal, in the brain, that are featured in studies, are not the cause of the problems but rather are the result of the emotional suffering that stimulated the deviation in the first place. It is emotions that drive the chemistry in the brain, not the other way round.’
So, we have been asking you: What is your goal, what is your dream? What is something that I can help you to do to get your successful results?
Lots of people say to me: “I don’t know which one of your audio courses/treatments to do? I don’t know if need more self esteem to have a good relationship…… or to stop having nervousness in my stomach to then be able to have real choice of how and what and when I eat nice food to be the right weight……or to sleep well so as to stop feeling so angry…….and so on…….. (basically what’s the ‘egg’ problem)”
You can see the audio treatments I have produced here - Rapha Hypnosis – Cures that Endure
Well, bottom line is this, which I understand was first said by Immanuel Kant the great respected mathematician and philosopher: ‘The symptom is the Solution, it is searching for the problem.’
(The symptom is the ‘chicken’ it is searching for the ‘egg’ problem)

Here’s a really Top Strategy for you, a gift from me to you, and it will take only seconds of thought from you.
As you’re about to drop off to sleep at night, ask silently and congruently of your wise unconscious:
“I want my unconscious to give me a focused and comfortable dream to let me know what my ‘egg’ problem is.”
(I can promise you, even if your problem is a disturbed sleep pattern, you will be dreaming during the night)
Have a note book by your bed. Take notes, no matter how ‘crazy’ your dream may seem. Soon you’ll get the real sense of it.
It may take a few nights for you to ‘get it’ as we are no longer a culture that is involved with dream work.

sally@sally-stubbs.com is my private email address. Anything at all you say to me will be totally confidential.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

http://www.positivehealth.com/article/hypnosis/psychosomatic-disorders-and-hypnotherapy

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
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TRUST YOUR UNCONSCIOUS:

November 5th, 2012

Great Feedback from Ms Louise-Weasel

Hello
And a very good day to you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to ‘listen’ to me.

I’m still ‘mind blown’ by my last letter to you! The one I named ‘From the Mouths of Children’.
I’ve had loads of interesting 1:1 feedback, emails and a really supportive email from Canada! I find all that so exciting, and thank you ‘Canada’.
I am really thrilled that Louise-Weasel (her choice of name) is happy for me to share her wonderful thoughts with you in this email. Thank you Ms Weasel:
• “What an intriguing and amazing little girl - I would love to have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation. How does she know these things? Is she an old soul in a young body? A wise old ME that has learnt through pain and therefore able to express herself with such clarity or an unblemished ME that hasn’t been hurt or excessively challenged and can therefore speak naively of such wondrous things?? I LOVE the rock analogy, I have always thought of my ME in terms of spots within my body not something that exists through my entire body but I now think that of course MEs exist throughout us with hot spots or troubling spots more obvious in certain places. Maybe our MEs are our life energy? Different layers and shapes and density of ME reflecting our well being in the environment within which we exist. Our bodies are the vehicles which transport our MEs. Finger prints are mostly static whereas MEs are able to change like a sort of energy depending on the circumstances. Anyways I feel rather shy about sharing my ramblings with you whom I view as THE ‘ORACLE’ on all such matters!”
I’ll quickly respond to one of Ms Weasels points and say that this little girl has been seriously; seriously challenged in her life – and – her ‘me’ has remained totally unblemished.
Erickson’s: “Trust your unconscious, it’s a delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.”
Whilst making coffee the other day Mike said: …. “It’s like this, go to the mug cupboard, get the coffee beans, grind the beans, walk to the fridge, get the milk, pour it……… sit down…… And all the time not one conscious thought is given to coffee making and the complexity of walking, use of muscles…. All the time I’m making coffee I’m having a conversation with you… The whole coffee making thing happens all by itself – unconsciously”.
Let’s really think about it! We can trust our unconscious!
So how does this work, the ‘trust our unconscious’ when we have a problem?
The problem must surely be being driven by our unconscious right? It’s an easy equation – we do not consciously want this problem therefore our problem must be being ‘driven’ from the unconscious!
This is exactly right. Which leads most of to believe our bl**dy unconscious is a ‘monster’. Incorrect belief!
Ok – let’s consider the semantics – instead of naming our problem a problem – lets name it – a symptom. (Whatever it may be – example: nervousness, lack of confidence, difficult relationship with food and all that these examples deeply contain for us such as concealed anger, feelings of shame or guilt, fears……….)
The symptom is being flagged up that ‘contained’ within the unconscious a problem – which our trusty unconscious wants us to resolve.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’.
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’.
The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct and resolve this problem, not the Therapist!
This problem originates as an imposed Restrainer – imposed upon this young person from well meaning adults. Added to this problem state is also a Protector Restrainer – ensuring this person will never speak up by producing a nervous panicky experience – as long as this person remains quiet – they will be safe from big trouble!
The trusty unconscious is also driving this nervous and panicky because in the un -differentiated information of the imposed Restrainer and the protector Restrainer is the unconscious drive to find the hiding or ‘lost’ ‘me’ – or part of ‘me’.
So, I’m wondering if: You will find time to make your own Restrainer lists and your drawings – which will assist you to Work with your trusty unconscious and find a hiding or ‘lost’ part of your ‘me’.
Have a listen to this 80’s classic on You Tube?
It starts: “Mirror in the bathroom please don’t freak the door is locked just you and me”….
TOP TIP
• Lock your bathroom door – and say something really nice to your ‘me’!
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
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Tags: Erickson, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs, unconscious
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From The Mouths of Children?

October 29th, 2012

LIKE TWEET

The Wisdom of Children

Recently I had the great good fortune to spend an hour or so talking with a little girl.She told me that she is learning sums – and she looked really happy and excited.
She said that everyone has a ‘me’ and everyone’s ‘me’ is different and also everyone’s ‘me’ goes all the way thru’ them like the writing on a sweetie called a stick of rock. Except, for everyone’s ‘me’ the writing (or the sum) is completely different.
She laughed gleefully her arms went up in the air as she said: ‘If there were two other Sally’s in the room, my Sally’s ‘me’ and the other two Sally’s ‘me’s would be totally different!
Yikes, how old is she? A thousand years old! I didn’t ask her age I felt it would be rude!
She said, with great authority, that she understood there might a certain eagle that can actually see this. Like if there were two robin’s feathers, or any number of robin’s feathers, the eagle would instantly see and know that feather belonged to Richard Robin – and that feather belonged to Robert Robin and so on, and the same for sparrows feathers – the same for most anything alive.
She even said, lets say I lost an eyelash – the eagle would see instantly see that the eye lash belonged only to me.
I loved, loved my time with her – the purity of it all………..
This wonderful little girl is talking not only about the sums of our DNA – she is also talking about our Unconscious mind – and specifically our ‘me’.
We know of substances such as radiation, chemicals in drinks, pesticides and many more common substances have been found to damage our DNA.
Also, (you might want to ‘strap in’ for the next bit!,) after two decades of studies, HeartMath researchers say that other factors such as the appreciation and love we have for someone, or, the fear, anger and anxieties that we feel also influence and can alter the outcome of each individuals DNA blueprint.
HeartMath researchers have gone so far as to show that physical aspects of DNA strands can be influenced by human intentions – emotions.
So, here are my thoughts about what this wonderful little girl was really saying (it makes sense to me!):
Pretty much everyone, at some time, lost ‘touch’ with our ‘me’. Our ‘me’ got frightened, fearful, anxious, bewildered, angry, got hurt – our ‘me’ felt an ‘ouch’ – and part of our ‘me’ felt ‘frayed’ no longer totally whole and pristine, our ‘me’ went into some kind of ‘hiding’ because our ‘me’ could not resolve the ‘ouch’
And when this happens a number of times for our ‘me’ or our ‘me’ experiences a really significant ‘ouch’ – the writing that goes all the way thru’ the stick of sweetie rock – becomes blurred………..
Which, when the ‘blurring of the writing occurs’ I think might mean our wondrous strands of DNA can be influenced in a way to be ‘off balance’
If so, we need to restore our ‘me’ – to a pristine state …….. a whole state … like restoring the writing clearly through the stick of sweetie rock.
And I will just continue to be better at being a Revolutionary!
Please, please email me your thoughts, together we can have a hugely significant discussion.

Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com
personal email: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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The Hypnotist & The Hypnotherapist

October 24th, 2012

So the question which I’ve been asked an uncountable number of times: “(What if) I can’t be hypnotised by a hypnotherapist?”
A hypnotherapist does not take the authority and control by hypnotising a person.
A hypnotist does that! This will have no therapeutic value whatsoever! Though it is considered entertaining!
Cassie, cured of hay fever through her hypnotherapy Work with me, in one of our video clips says so charmingly:
‘…. I thought is was like you see people on telly walking round making chicken noises and all these weird crazy things…. All the time that I was Working with Sally I felt fully in control……..’
Back in the mid 19th century Doctor James Braid became massively interested in what appeared to be an ‘off conscious’ state. He called the state hypnosis – later he tried to rename it psychophysiology. Hypnosis had stuck.
We all of us naturally go in and out of trance or hypnotic states many times a day, all by our selves. It will often feel like day dreaming, the: ‘…I was miles away……’ And when we feel ‘miles away’ we are, as Cassie says, in control.
Claire, on the same video clip as Cassie, also came to Work with me and cured her hay fever, describes ‘trance’ state with me as a: ‘….deep state of concentration….’
Therapeutic trance is experienced differently by everyone; therefore ‘deep concentration’ will not be common to everyone. Being in control will be common to everyone.
The ability to go into a therapeutic trance is common to everyone too.
In Therapeutic Trance we are giving the unconscious problem state the exact right attention that it needs is a totally safe way.
You can see more of my ex-clients whos agreed to film their thoughts on my You Tube Channel.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’

Milton H Erickson

The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct this problem, not the Therapist!
Milton H. Erickson, was described as “one of the most influential psychotherapists of all time” in a survey by The Psychotherapy Networker (March 2006).
In psychotherapy Milton H. Erickson is ranked among the Top Ten along with Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and others.
Milton H. Erickson says it beautifully………
“He [Erickson] discovered that most of the “rules” of life prescribing human limitations were arbitrary beliefs, not facts. His study and mastery of hypnosis taught him that altered mental states and trance were very much a part of everyday functioning.
“This understanding,” wrote Ernest Rossi, “formed the underlying principles of his later studies of psychopathology as well as his development of the naturalistic and utilization approaches to therapeutic hypnosis.” Such insights were fundamental to Erickson’s approach, but he sought no definite theory to pass on as a legacy.
“Erickson has no set method,” Haley noted. “If one procedure doesn’t work, he tries others until one does. That’s what he emphasized to his students, advising a stance of heightened receptivity uncontaminated by formulaic preconceptions.”
Erickson put it this way: “I don’t attempt to structure my psychotherapy except in a vague, general way. And in that vague general way, the patient structures it… in accordance with his own needs… The first consideration in dealing with patients is to realize that each of them is an individual… So in dealing with people, you try not to fit them into your concept of what they should be… You should try to discover what their concept of themselves happens to be… It isn’t the amount of time. It isn’t the theory of therapy. It’s how you reach the personality by saying the right thing at the right time.”
Further words of wisdom from Erickson: “Trust your unconscious. It’s a very delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.” And: “Don’t try to use somebody else’s technique… Just discover your own.”
Section in italics is an excerpt from the book: The New Neuroscience of Psychotherapy, Therapeutic Hypnosis & Rehabilitation: A Creative Dialogue with Our Genes
By Ernest Lawrence Rossi Ph.D & Kathryn Lane Rossi Ph.D.

Let’s talk next time about Erickson’s words: ‘Trust your unconscious…..’
And I so hope that Erickson – and the Dr’s Rossi have inspired you……
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
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A JOURNEY FROM A TO C?

October 22nd, 2012

David Grove

The First Ode to And

So, Tom the Invincible responded to our last letter “Ode to And” – with:

“To follow this up, worth pointing out in future newsletters, that to avoid making an inadvertent inflammatory statement that a full stop works well also (rather than but) as in:
John, you are a great dentist. I wonder if…… as opposed to John you are a great dentist, but…. (no you’re not)
Also how and what works well too, as in:
blah blah, how do you think we could……, or
blah blah, what might be some ways we could……”
Nice one, thank you, Tom the Invincible.
Tom the Invincible and The Grover (David Grove) would ‘walk hand in hand’ (as do I!) in their exquisite mastery of elegant, clean, respectful communications skills.
How and What are two of David’s major Clean Language questions.
Recently I received an e mail with a question I’ve been asked loads of times, which is: “What if I can’t be hypnotised?” (Full stop here!!)
I’ll talk with you about this question soon, because I’m ‘on a roll’ now, buzzing with thoughts about Tom the Invincible’s point about ‘how’ and ‘what’.
Clean Language creates a successful environment for you to achieve triumphant change. Not quick fixes that deconstruct come next month! Everlasting solid and triumphant change.
Here is an overview of the process of change.
You are in a space with a problem state. The problem is in the space where you are. In a second space there is your Goal, what ever your goal may be, and we all of us have a goal or goals, which are in another space from where you are.
In between your problem space and your goal space, is another space – for you to journey into.
OK – to make clearer sense of this, simply take a piece of paper and write down your goal – and I am today talking about a recognised psychological or emotional goal rather than the:
I want a date with my super hero!!
I want to own an Aston Martin!!
(Though these types of goals are in a true essence driven by our psychology and our emotions!)
To help you to write your goal, answer the question:
“And – what do I want to have happen?” (This non ordinary question invites a non ordinary response)
When you have written your answer on your paper you are in a space that we will call A – your goal in a space that we will call B and there is a space between you and your goal we will call C. In the C space is your journey to your discovery of solutions and resolutions to your problem in the A space.
The C space will have loads of What and How questions filling it.
Here is a simple example, and if you’d like more in depth examples just ask me.
Q: And what do I want to have happen?
A: I want to be slim and regain my figure and my health.
Q: And – what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can be slim and regain my figure and my health?
A: I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it
Q: And when I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it – how can I have the confidence……
A: I really need to stop putting myself down
Q: And what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can stop putting myself down……
I promise you it will so valuable for you to journey into your C space with your own what and how questions.

.
Thanks again to Tom the Invincible…….
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com
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Tags: hypnosis, hypnotherapist, Milton H Erickson, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs
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AN ODE TO “AND”

October 17th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

In a minute we’re going to discuss ‘and’ – with some seriousness – and we’ll have a bit of fun as well! A client recently had this fabulous metaphor for her protector Restrainer. She said it was like she could see herself as an Olympic athlete (emotionally and psychologically that is!) She’s on the starting blocks she’s raring to go!
And her protector Restrainer is like massive bungee cords attached to her back.
Holding her back.
Keeping her safe.
She was thrilled with her metaphor, which may sound strange to you.
What she felt was an immeasurable amount of energy there to be released. And, here’s a great thing, she saw that instead of, once she’s released, there just being a way forward along the prescribed track, there’s an entire stadium and territory beyond the stadium to explore!!
She and I together are in the exciting process of negotiating with the bungee cords – for her imminent release…….
This is her unique epistemological metaphor for her protector Restrainer – your metaphor and your drawing or drawings will be entirely unique to you.

“Ode to And” – is a phrase coined beautifully by Cei Davies, who was the late great David Groves wife and professional partner. Cei worked continuously at David’s side developing Clean Language, Epistemological Metaphor and oh so much more.
Cei says of And: “…….and is an adjunctive for two or more incompatible elements. “……I love him – and – he did that to me…..” ‘And’, allows both experiences to co-exist.”
Let’s consider the serious value of, in day to day communications with others and with our self, replacing some of our ‘but’ words with ‘and’.
‘But’ tends to end something rather than add something!
‘But’ tends to negate something rather than leave another avenue to explore.
“You did a good job – but – you can do better…..”
How does this feel to you?
How about this?
“You did a good job – and – you can also do an even better job……”
“I want to go for a walk – but – its cold rainy weather…….”
“I want to go for a walk – and – its cold rainy weather – and – I can get my water proofs on – and – an umbrella – and – a flask with a hot drink…….”
Worth our consideration – the ‘but’ in our life being replaced, some times, with ‘and’.
Bread – but – no jam
Bread – and – jam!
Cake – but – don’t eat it
Cake – and – eat it!
In relationship with our self – (which by the way is the most important relationship because to gain or regain harmony with our self frees us to have harmony fully in relationship with another) – the ‘and’ word is empowering.
We say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – but – I make mistakes……” Intelligent and mistakes are not co-existing because of the ‘but’ – so we feel our life is about our mistakes!
What happens when we say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – and – I make mistakes…..” We now have the potential to explore both worlds of intelligent and of mistakes.
So here’s a bit of fun for us, let me have your story or Ode – to ‘And’ by the 5th November on my private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com
For the best story or Ode to ‘And’ there will be a gift of any one of my 40 Day Courses, on 5 CD’s.
I really look forward to your stories or Ode to ‘And’.
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: bungee jump, metaphor, protector, release, Sally Stubbs
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CONSTANT CRITICISM?

October 10th, 2012

TWEET LIKE

Getting to Know More Abour Your Restrainer

Now here’s a case in point, if you want to create a disturbed person –

then: Consistently criticise them!
And consistently do not give them good (outstanding) emotional support.
It isn’t ‘rocket science’! It is however now validated by our amazing Neuroscience!
Does the above sound similar to what your Restrainer has being up to – maybe for years!
Hitting you with negative criticism, withdrawing emotional support of you?
In which case in point….
You may have thought that I was partially bonkers to suggest that you ‘get to know’ your Restrainer!
I’m not bonkers! Well…………….only sometimes!! Ask Mike!!
I totally urge you to get on and get to know your Restrainer!

Make peace together.

Does this still seem and feel counter intuitive to you?
Anyway, let’s stopping messing around, let’s stop procrastinating!
.
Do please get your note book – spend a few minutes each day with your Restrainer, ‘listen’ to it. It may sound to you that your Restrainer is putting you down, or even urging you to an action that you know is illogical or exhausting. You may also feel it in you body, maybe your chest or your throat…..

Here are extra ‘Golden Bullets’ to urge you on!
• Get to know your Restrainer (All of my courses on CD or MP3 will assist you to do this)
• Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
• State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
• As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it, either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed….. ‘But’ if I do this, they will be hurt – then I’m left with guilt – so – better not to do this…..)
And the four new Golden Bullets:
1. Differentiate the Restrainer ‘voice’ which is yours as it were, that is a ‘voice’ you know belongs to you and is therefore a protector – from the ‘something’ which it believed ‘unsafe’ You’re differentiating the ‘voice’ of your protector Restrainer from the ‘voices’ of, usually well meaning, adults in your earlier life. Check these beliefs that came into your psychology – and do not belong to you. (These voices will often have the You can’t – You should – You shouldn’t……)
2. Make two different lists one of your protector Restrainer and one of the, albeit well meaning, beliefs of others.
3. If the voices of others do not celebrate or validate your life make a firm decision to delete them.
4. I’ll eat my hat for you if you do not find this a most valuable thing to do! And you’re most welcome to email me any questions privately.

*
• Simply say to your protector Restrainer (from your list): ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
• Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
• Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have a part appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being what you really wanted to be to protect you from the, well meant, wrath of your family who insisted you became an accountant!) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
• Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please visit me – and us at www.sally-stubbs.com there’s lots of ‘gold’ for you……
……………….Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
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GROW YOUR OWN HAIR!

October 4th, 2012

Luscious Hair Blowing in the Wind

Hello

Please follow the link to read my article in Positive Health Online: I would be most pleased and delighted.

Thinking of you warmly Sally

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RED SQUIRREL CAFE:

October 1st, 2012

Cumbrian Red Squirrel

Proof of the Red Squirrel Cafe!

I’m taking a ‘holiday’ today – an R&R from my relentless rants! ‘That’s a relief!!’ you might be saying……. Champagnes on ice!
So, Mike did the video for you – Red Squirrel at breakfast in the Grecko Roman (with a hint of engine shed) style cafe.
The first one looks like an old fella – he could be wearing a granddad cardie!
Then there are a few moments of a younger one.
Mohican did not pitch up for this shoot. Burrowing his nuts away perhaps?
Mike will catch him on film another time.
Catch it here– sit back and smile hugely. Enjoy!
Then maybe check out a few of the other videos on my You Tube Channel?
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
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YOU ARE SPECIAL! REALLY YOU ARE!!

September 26th, 2012

TWEET LIKE

SALLY STUBBS

MORE GOLDEN BULLETS ABOUND:-

You have a story and it is your story that makes you special.
You have humanity.
You are not just a ‘pretty face’! You actually are a ‘beautiful face’ – You are the face of kindness and caring for others – the children – the animals – the elderly and fragile – the planet. The corruption – the lies…
And inside of you, in your inner worlds, you have fear and ‘pain’. Yet you are, despite the fear and ‘pain,’ caring and kind.
I know that you have suffered – somehow – somewhere in your childhood, in adult years – bewilderment or fear or ‘pain’ which brought uncertainties and doubts into your Pristine inner world.
This is your story and this is what makes you special. And probably what also gave you the immeasurable depths and heights of your true humanity.
Quick rant to get off my chest – (you might be pleased to know!) Though it is a Huge Rant in my Heart!
I cannot stand this ‘pop’ psychology of: ‘You must gain control over and get rid of your inner critic!’
Absolute Bull***t! The psychological ‘construct’ which has oh so totally unwisely been named the ‘Critic’ – to be dismissed, shunned and got rid of is, was originally, a Protector!
This is huge for our – your – consideration.
I am going to call the inner Protector – the inner Restrainer – as it will probably make more sense!
The inner Restrainer is the ‘voice’ and or accompanying feeling in the body which ‘says’:
• I can’t!
• I mustn’t!
• I shouldn’t!
• I’ll fail………..
• ‘They’ll’ be angry if I do!
• I am not good enough!
• So, I won’t ‘go there’………
And we listen to the ‘voice’ of the Restrainer and we stay ‘stuck’ and the Restrainer is relieved (til next time!). The Restrainer is relieved because it was attempting to keep us safe. Because in situations in our younger life or our adult life for us to ‘go ahead’ could well have been dangerous.
Look – simplistically it goes a like this: ‘Eat up all your food!’ If we say what we want and need which is: ‘NO’ we can never be successful! We’ll be in someone’s ‘bad books’ and ‘bad books’ are dangerous in a child’s world!
The Restrainer holds us back from saying the dangerous ‘NO!’ and we eat loads of food that we don’t need or want!
Or – they implied, when we were younger, with a ‘look in their eyes’ ‘If you go off and be an actor instead of an accountant….. you will hurt me!’ And so we become the unhappy accountant, (and our clients don’t understand when we don’t always get it right!)
The Restrainer stops us being an actor because the enormous weight of responsibility of hurting them is unbearable.
We won’t be ‘good enough’ for them.
They will shun us.
Simplistic examples I know.
So here are your ‘Golden Bullets’ which may seem at first counter intuitive!
• Get to know your Restrainer
• Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
• State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
• As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed…..)
• Simply say to the Restrainer: ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
• Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
• Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have an appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being an actor) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
• Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please do feel free to email me any thoughts or questions privately on this address: sally@sally-stubbs.com
And as for the book which I won’t harp on about again. – The masochist is Restrained and feels the pain in an unsuccessful attempt to regain the control which was taken by their inner Restrainer to paradoxically keep them safe!
The masochist will of course argue with me. I Understand.
Thinking of you warmly.
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

SALLY@SALLY-STUBBS.COM

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“50 SHADES” – An Epidemic!

September 24th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

“50 Shades of Grey”

So, in this letter title I’ve said it! “50 shades of grey”.
I promise you I’m no ‘kill joy’ as I said in my last letter, amongst consenting adults, that is their choice.
And I understand the odd occasion of the relief to just relinquish the power position and the responsibility in sexual behaviours of the controller and being controlled.
This letter is ongoing from my last one, in a way that is really worth our consideration, even if half of the 40 million readers of “50 Shades of Grey” are reading for fun and Erotica – it still seems to me like there is, as Dr Sarno would say: An epidemic! Of a need to be controlled and be in control played out in behaviours that are deeply unsuccessful at regaining any real control……….
I feel this is a deep and meaningful letter to you – so I’ll keep it short…
My Mum often used to say to me:
‘For goodness sake Sally – you’re not being deep and meaningful again – are you!’
Yikes Mum – what’s that all about! I’m fun loving as well!
I’m just going to briefly mention that I’ve attempted, as best I could over the years, to study George Gurdjieff’s (1872 – 1949): The Fourth Way – ‘He was a seminal spiritual figure, who introduced an ancient, then unknown to the West, esoteric teaching of development and awakening, one that teaches how to creatively use the diverse impressions of ordinary life to come to real life.’
Gurdjieff’s work was not connected to any formal or organised religions.
My point in mentioning Gurdjieff, in this rather unusual deep and meaningful letter to you, is that he insisted on a mutual understanding of words which were being used in any discussions! I think that’s great, maybe sometimes essential! Maybe the usually unspoken obvious?
Anyway, I am about to use the word divine in this discussion!
By this word I simplistically mean the state that is Pristine. A state of no fear and no ‘pain’.
Please bear with me I do know what I’m talking about here – and my hope is that what I say in a massively deep and meaningful way – will resonate with you – or for someone you care about, not in terms of the chronic need to be the controller or be controlled as portrayed in the book.
If you can gently think for a few moments – each day – What is stopping you or stopping someone close to you, achieving a goal to Resolve – finally once and for all a problem state – even the problems that manifest as we’ve mentioned before as the symptoms of a wrong relationship with food, to not sleeping well – to disharmony in relationship – your answers for yourself or for your loved one – will be, in essence: fear or ‘pain’ is stopping me – or my loved one.
All I ask of you, for now is that you acknowledge your own answers to the question: What is stopping me – or my loved one – Resolving a problem state.
And next time – I will get off the talking about that book – and together we’ll explore strategies – ‘Golden Bullets’ for Working with your answer.
I know personally that although we have all experienced tragedy – and loss – and trauma – and bewilderment – I have been there – we can Regain our Pristine State – to be fear free and ‘pain’ free.
This brings me happily back to the word divine.
A client recently named the Pristine state as – divine pleasure………… I’ve tears of relief for her as I write to you.
One day – I will joyously tell you about her Work with me – She and I together have Cured the Incurable.
For her to be in a ‘space’, in a ‘place’ – a state of divine pleasure was deemed to be totally impossible!
So I reckon as a Revolutionary my wish for you is divine pleasure – or call it pristine state if you prefer…… Or as my client the poet said: Your intended being.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Sally@sally-stubbs.com my personal & private email address, do get in touch, I would love to hear your views:

Tags: 50 Shades of Grey, achieving your goal, cures that endure, divine pleasure
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LET’S DEBATE CONTROL!

September 19th, 2012

Hello

I’ve been just a bit cheeky with the title of my letter to you! I mean the title is True – I really invite debate and discussion with you.
I want to debate a book!
“50 Shades of Grey”
I did think to give this letter that title – then I didn’t want to take the risk that you wouldn’t join me in this letter… After all, this book is porn!
I haven’t read it. I have googled it – and hey it’s probably (understatement!) worth our attention as the last I read it’s sold over 40 million copies world wide and rising.
The biggest seller ever overtaking Harry Potter!
So, what is it that is claiming the attention of over 40 million of our fellow humans?
We could say that anything we choose to think, discuss and debate together is merely our opinions. However, I’ll carry on – as you’d expect of me!
This Tweet from Ellie Pyke has been well worth my consideration: (writers) ‘make stories that bring the reader alive’. I agree…..
Then, how is this book achieving that?
Ted Day on a ‘you tube’ video reads from the back of the book: “….. He’s (Christian Grey the main protagonist) consumed by his need to control”.
Honestly I accept that whatever individuals are into – they are into – as long as there is consent. And that it is private between however ,many consenting adults.
However, I believe we can raise a discussion about “50 Shades of Grey” because it has grabbed so much attention. And my attention has been grabbed by – the control aspect……
First in terms of this book/trilogy I want to say that I understand the needs to create an opportunity to relinquish the power position. Power positions do become boring and exhausting! And also the need to relinquish responsibility.
My point about control (in terms of this book): Physical pain is a healthy ‘message’ from our bodies to say ‘I do not like this!’ Nature wants us to run or jump away from an external source of physical pain.
And yet 40 million of us are lapping this up!
Here is my outrageous question:
Why are the masochists amongst us treating their body as though it were an enemy?
Encarta Dictionary: Masochism – the psychological disorder in which somebody needs to be emotionally or physically abused in order to be (sexually) satisfied.
Let us consider the locus of our own inner control and lack of it.
As kids we had very little control, mostly claimed by necessity, from the adults around us who had to have control to create safe physical boundaries for us.
Often our emotional, psychological and ‘spirit of our self’ – control was taken from us.
With all respect to the mostly well meaning adults in our younger lives…….. love got undifferentiated from pain.
I’ll make anther outrageous statement here: masochists are searching, (unsuccessfully) for real love through the ‘pain’ of lack of control which they experienced in their early years…..
Your debate is gratefully received by me.
And, you may well be asking, what has all this got to do with me?
Well, we too are searching to resolve our problems of: over weight, fear, anxieties, no self esteem, lack of good sleep, our anger and our sadnesses…………… and our solutions and answers are in us ‘listening’ to and responding correctly and respectfully to our younger self – who ‘lost’ their sense of their pristine self when the emotional psychological and ‘spirit of the self’ – when control was taken away.
As adult we all are mostly loyal to the grown ups who brought us up. We have the logic to say: ‘They did their best…’ And probably those grown ups did do their best.
This logic does not apply to how we thought and felt as a child.
I urge you to consider connecting with the pristine child part of your being – by having a look at my Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence course. It does not take you through any painful or stinky stuff from your younger life – it does one major outstanding thing for you – it takes you back to, and empowers your pristine self……
As one of my clients, who is a poet, calls the Pristine Self – “My Intended Being…”
Pheweeee that phrase from him made my skin tingle
Maybe I need to rename my course Regain Your Self Esteem……… What do you think?
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

Sally Stubbs sally@sally-stubbs.com

for your potential

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TOXIC MAN?

September 17th, 2012

What’s the definition of a Toxic Man/Mr Wrong?

• A man is Toxic when he invalidates us and when is behaving as a ‘tyrant’. Invalidating us means he will be negatively critical about what we do and who we are, his communication will have a ‘put down’ quality.
The ‘Tyrant’ type will be continuously controlling us emotionally, and bewildering us by implying that our emotional outburst or our withdrawing is our ‘fault’, and that we are in the wrong or we are weak. The ‘Tyrant’ is often disguised as the ‘sheep in wolves’ clothing, friends and family will ‘see’ the ‘sheep’, that is the charmer, which causes us even more emotional bewilderment and crippling self doubt, when those around us will be saying “He’s such a great bloke!”. He is not, you are right and the observations of others are wrong.
Tyrants are very difficult to relate to, as their unconscious purpose is to control us emotionally, and then inform us that we are ‘badly behaved’, and they are always right.

Why are women attracted to them?
• Women are attracted to these type of men, for two main reasons.

1) Toxic men, in the early days of relationship can hide their ‘poison’ behind strength and charm, intelligence, and romantic attention. The woman feels; I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man.

2) Some women will have a deeply embedded belief system of low self worth or low self esteem, and that they must be wrong and they must deserve the ‘abuse’
What are the different types of Toxic Men? (eg: possessive, critical, cheater etc)
• Basically Toxic men, whether they are exhibiting behaviours of jealousy, or are cheating, are angry or critical have one main purpose and that is to be emotionally controlling of their women. This type of personality trait is manifesting in the Toxic man, because simplistically they have vey little if any self worth and they lack their own inner stability. The problem is that the Toxic man will rarely have sufficient real inner strength to admit – that they have a serious problem
Do you have any real life examples of women caught up in a bad relationship?
• Barbara met Adam, the charmer. Successful, wealthy, exciting holidays and spontaneous exotic trips. His family were well established, a flourishing business and elegant property. His friends adored him. Barbara moved in with him. Adam was the typical Charmer Tyrant. Soon she was a prisoner in his beautiful house. When she came to see me, her problem was: It must be my fault! We worked to deconstruct her belief, and she was able to walk away. She now lives in a small cottage, she has very little in the way of furniture, unlike Adams grand house, and Barbara is now happy in ‘her own skin’
Can a Toxic Man ever change? And if so, how?
• Absolutely he can change; he has to find his inner strength to first of all state: I have a problem. Once he truly takes this step, he needs to ask: What does he want from relationship with a woman. He needs to deconstruct what he believed had made him happy and that is to be emotionally controlling of his woman. He needs to genuinely want his woman to be happy with him. He needs to ask himself, what do I need to change about myself and my behaviours? And he will need to explore what he learnt from adults in his life when he was a youngster as to how a man relates to a woman.
When do you know that it’s time to leave him?
• After the third time he invalidates you and he refuses to accept that it is his behaviour that is wrong. Leave. Life is too short to stay in such a bewildering and unhappy place. You have a right to be in relationship that is harmonious and loving. Do you have any advice on how to leave a Toxic Man?
• Learn that you truly have the right to be happy and to be loved and supported. Explore your beliefs about yourself, and if you have any beliefs that are stating this problem is ‘my fault’, change your beliefs rapidly. Beliefs are not the truth. Learn that you have the right to walk away from a situation that is painful for you.
5 ways to tell if he’s Mr Wrong:
• If he puts you down more than twice, and does not engage with you to explore his wrong behaviour.
• If you are crying and fretting and he does not take responsibility for his wrong actions, and he does not rapidly change his behaviours.
• If what he does and says causes you emotional, psychological or physical pain. Believe your pain, it is telling you the truth about him.
• If he does not accept your mistakes with care and consideration and supportive communication.
• If he consistently does not ‘step into your world’ with you. This can take effort for him to respect and appreciate your emotional and psychological world, and of course sometimes he can be tired or preoccupied, and you will be sensitive to his needs at times like this. However, if he does ignore consistently your inner ‘world’ he is Mr Wrong! We come together in relationship for many reasons, but ignoring the others ‘world’ there will never be understanding, acceptance and harmony.

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THE DEVIL YOU KNOW?

September 13th, 2012

Reason & Purpose

Our latest red squirrel news is that our lovely & ‘wickedly naughty’ daughter Emma has named one of them Mohican! Yeah, because the wide and high fluff of its tail perched on top of its head, is black!
Mike will get some videos for you to see the red squirrels soon – it would be brilliant if Mohican pitches up for the camera!
I watched a few minutes of a video on ‘Ted Talks’ yesterday of Tony Robbins.
Do you know him? (Robbins that is)
He started out in his career of becoming a ‘coach’ by taking a course on NLP and he has ‘flown’ with these strategies in his world of ‘coaching’.
I admire that Robbins has changed his M.O. since I last saw him on video about 6 years ago.
And I enjoy him, in that he is a riveting, charismatic presenter, and he’s kind of good looking if you like that ‘big’ all round smiley American look!
One of Robbins ideas really resonated with me, when I saw him 6 years or so ago.
He stated that:
If you do a good job – you get bad results!
If you do a great job – you get good results!
If you do an outstanding job – you get great results!
Let’s think for a moment, or for several moments! about the amazing Olympic athletes – from both the Olympic Games and the Paralympics Games. Did they do a good job? No they did an outstanding job.
Being successful as all the Olympians were truly successful even to be competing in the Games in the first place – was and is, massively emotionally and psychologically driven. Their success has to be how they individually think and feel and believe in the first place for any of them to ever get up off their bums and get going.
What you and I discuss and explore together is all about resolving – successfully and finally – psychological and emotional problems.
We need our goal to get us up off our bums and achieve successfully and finally our own resolution, just as the athletes had a goal to compete in the Games and to win a medal. The athletes will have kept their goal continuously, day by day, hour by hour, and through their gruelling hours of training fully in their sight.
I have talked a few times already about our motivation to be successful. And that two of the things which drive our motivation to really succeed are our reasons and our purposes.
Encarta Dictionary: reason – an explanation or justification for something.
Encarta Dictionary: purpose – the desire and the resolve necessary to accomplish a goal.
I’ve added dictionary definitions of reason and purpose, to help you focus on the terms.
You have a problem, we all have a problem. The problem can become like the untidy, messy cupboard!
Whatever the problem you have, (the one which you are thinking of right now) – let’s say the problem is for example: feeling nervous in certain situations, being fearful in some situations, lack of sleeping well, stressed, disturbed in a relationship – whatever your problem part of the lack of motivation to ‘get up off your bum’ is you’ve learnt to live with it!
Like the untidy cupboard, which we cannot really shut the door on, but we adjust to, learn to live with it, and yet it claims our attention maybe daily, calling out: Tidy Me!
As Laura, (name changed) who lost her hair with what was diagnosed as Androgenetic Alopecia, (an incurable disease she was told) and has now grown her own hair and grown her own way through her Work with me said:
“….You see, I had learnt to live with a wounded soul and I was so afraid to have any expectation for myself to heal – in case I could never be healed.
I once heard someone say something like: ‘If you’ve got to know the devil, it’s better than a god you may never know…’ These words kind of made sense as I’d made the ‘devil’, or maybe more accurately what ‘bedevilled’ me work for me, or so I believed!”
So maybe you will enjoy my Golden Bullets on reasons and purposes:
• Separate out your reasons to resolve your problem from your purposes to resolve your problem
• Your reasons will be explainable e.g. A reason for me to sleep well is that it’s healthier.
• Your purposes will be your desires e.g. A purpose for me to sleep well is I want energy to run with the winds and jump around for joy…..
• Keep working on your two equally important lists of reasons and purposes for you to resolve your problem. This will help to grow your motivation to Olympic athlete size!
• And all the time keep your eye firmly on your goal! Just like an Olympian…
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

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Tags: goals, motivation, psychological, successful
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WORKING WITH YOUR ‘BUTLER’

September 10th, 2012

Hi Everyone:

This is an odd experience for me! I’m sitting here about to write to you – and ‘blow me’ I actually don’t know where to begin!
Usually I wake up with a dream with a great (or whacky!!) idea of what you and I will discuss today.
Or, the idea will float into my mind from that amazing place called ‘nowhere’ – (It came ‘out of nowhere’ we often say – and nowhere weirdly is usually blue – it – just came ‘out the blue’!) which – as we know, ‘it’, the ideas, the information, does not, come from ‘blue nowhere’!
The ideas come from a very important (hopefully wise!) often weird and wonderful, certainly not explored enough by any of us, ‘place’ called – (dah dah…) – the unconscious mind!
Recently we discussed together that ‘in that place’ of our unconscious ‘resides’ the most efficient ‘butler’; we cannot imagine how efficient our ‘butler’ is.
But (there’s one of those rare ‘buts’ from me!) – we need to communicate with our ‘butler’.
By the way I think of the ‘butler’ as hermaphrodite – in a really great way.
What I mean by hermaphrodite is this: in a man or a woman, in a boy or a girl, their ‘butler’ is both male and female. Simplistically the male side knows exactly when to say ‘NO’ – and the female side knows exactly when to say ‘YES’.
For goodness sake our unconscious, your unconscious is thee greatest asset we’ve got.

Let’s get communicating elegantly and efficiently with our unconscious, now!

Because, here’s the paradox, our unconscious drives our problems; however, the absolute truth is our unconscious has the solutions.
Friends and family can be really helpful with: ‘You want to sleep better, eat honey because bees are great at sleeping…!’ ‘You want too lose weight, eat grasshoppers….errrrr……… because grasshoppers are skinny!’
It’s kind of them to want to help, for sure, however, it’s our unconscious that has the solutions. And, if you don’t know how to really get started on communicating elegantly and efficiently with your unconscious have a go with one of my courses.
Once our unconscious really makes the change to a problem state for us, and resolves the problem, we keep the change – permanently.
Now here’s the thing, our ‘butler’ does not respond to being told what to do! Like some of the Muppet therapists work I’ve heard over and over again!
Which goes like this: ‘you’re so very relaxed – deeper and deeper relaxed you will stop over eating – you will stop sleeping badly – you’ll stop being stressed – you will stop being nervous – you will be so calm so confident……..’
This approach is Bull S**t!
Because our ‘butler’ has an exquisite language of its own: the language of puns, symbols, allegories metaphors – and primary processing language. The ‘butler’ does not respond to secondary processing language, that is, language which is ‘every day’.
Secondary processing language is structured according to external logic and expressed in grammar, syntax and has social context.
When we have a problem: I can’t sleep, I am stressed, I am fat, I am nervous….. our ‘butler’ can respond to the: Be Calm suggestions for a day a week a month. However, our ‘butler’ in our ‘home’ responded by shutting the door on an untidy noisy room – the untidy room is psycho active – and the noise and untidiness will once again eventually ‘spill out’.
The outstanding thing about my kind of Work is the right kind of unconscious language assists us to Work with our ‘butler’ and permanently tidy the untidy room……..
If you’re any kind of a Trekky? I have this grand hallucination that when Gene Rodenberry said:
‘To boldly go where no man has gone before….’
‘Man’s final frontier….’ he was talking about our unconscious!
And, I’ll just add I don’t think our unconscious is a ‘place’! I believe the unconscious has no boundaries apart, of course, from our morals and values. Our unconscious is quantum (for want of a better description) in that it is not bound by time or space.
So, my odd experience of sitting here, an hour ago, not knowing what we would be focused on discussing today is because my mind was absolutely buzzing. Consciously I thought we’d be discussing the great seminar I attended in Northampton last week on David Grove’s ground breaking Therapy Work, and I just did not know where I could possibly start with the ‘buzz’ of it all.
Just goes to show what the conscious mind knows!
Anyway, it’s a bit like this: When I write to you, I deeply know where I want to go; I know my goal, which is always that I want to give you something valuable and useful, interesting and inspiring. And some ‘out of the box’ ideas for thinking differently!
Here’s an anecdote that you may have heard from me before. My Dad, who is my hero, and I, landed at Dublin airport and jumped into a taxi. Dad gave the address of our hotel to the driver, and the driver quipped: “Well noow, if I were goin’ there I wouldn’t be startin’ from here!” (True story!)
And for me to give you something useful and important – for you – well, I didn’t start with the seminar on David’s Work!
Sit down quietly for a few minutes with your amazing ‘butler.

Ask a simple question to which you want or need an answer……….. it’s an excellent place for you to start…………. Email me if you need some assistance to formulate your question.

Questions are powerful. I’ll be delighted to help.
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

personal & private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com

017687 71377

Tags: communication, David Grove, mind, Sally Stubbs, unconscious
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CLEAN WORLDS FOUNDATION

September 3rd, 2012

Sally Stubbs

MY VISION FOR A CLEAN WORLDS FOUNDATION:-

3rd June 2010 a nightmare in Cumbria.
It was reported that a petty row with fellow taxi drivers was the trigger for Derrick Bird, which erupted into full-scale carnage which ended with him killing 12 people in a horrific slaughter before turning the gun on himself.
No one who knew him thought the quiet, taciturn man, who was born into a well-known local Cumbrian family, would unleash such terror and horror on his community.
But his personal history reveals a life plagued by loneliness and frustration.
I’m not going into this story. Mike & I did not know Derrick Bird. One of Mike’s friends from Mike’s past was killed by Derrick that day.
Everyone who saw and heard this story was, of course, horrified.
Horrified………….
I do believe that we need to have answers, real answers and useful answers to the question: What turned Derrick Bird that day? Useful information that can assist us in the potential to prevent such horror…………..
A number of weeks after this day of horror, a young mother phoned me and asked me if I could please see her 10 year old daughter.
I will call this little girl ‘C’.
‘C’s mother told me that her daughter had witnessed one of the killings on 3rd June, and that ‘C’ could not and would not talk about it. Of course I said I would see ‘C’, and added that she would not have to talk about it.
Since June 3rd. as you and I can totally understand, ‘C’ could not be alone, could not sleep alone, could not let her mother literally out of her sight, could not have any doors or windows in her home open, all had to be locked up, and the rare times she could leave the house she was ‘glued’ to her mother.
‘C’ arrived clinging to her mother’s leg. I explained “T Minus One” by drawing it on an A1 flip chart. Within 20 minutes ‘C’ was really engaging with me. She ‘got it’
‘C’s “T Minus One” – the moment that she froze in time was (understandably) just before she witnessed the murder of her neighbour, right on the street in front of her.
She froze time as Derrick Bird was driving his car slowly up the road.
And in that moment ‘C’ lost her ‘ME’.
This is a type of “T Minus One” which is experienced by a complete shock.
This simplistically means that when there’s a trauma which happens as sudden shock we unconsciously regress time back, and freeze time a moment or even a few moments before the worse moments.
‘C’ and I worked for a few weeks. We found and then freed her ’ME’ into “T Plus One” – that is into time after Trauma.
‘C’ told me that if she had not Worked with me – her ‘ME’ would have been lost forever……………. Yeah, I cried!
At our last Session I asked her if she would do a lecture tour with me on “T Minus One” How cool would that be!!
She now has a happy life…………………
THE POINT OF THIS STORY?
Before contacting me, ‘C’s parent had been to the local doctors’ surgery to request help. They were told that ‘C’ would have to be on an 18 months waiting list before receiving counseling!
I have a Dream to form a foundation – yeah it’s to be called: Clean Worlds – Clean Worlds Foundation will give this kind of Work to kids, and young adults like ‘C’.
Any ideas you may have – I will so gratefully welcome.
Thank you
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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A PRECIOUS GIFT:

August 22nd, 2012

Party Wear!

PRICELESS!
As Mike’s birthday was on Friday – and mine was on Sunday – we had non stop celebrations ALL weekend! What Fun. What Joy. I can ‘swear’ that the old stone walls of our house are smiling ‘their heads off’!!!!
Love and laughter flowed just like ‘our’ sparkling river. And you know what, the amazing thing is, just like the river, there’s no Stop on it………….
In Praise of your ‘ME’ – here for you is my Gift – I want to give you thee most precious gift I can for my Birthday – some priceless ‘Golden Bullets’.
• Your ‘ME’ needs: I repeat needs, space to be! We can get all philosophical about that; however give your self a few minutes to just gently think about it. Space to be… Therefore the first thing your ‘ME’ needs is to be located in ‘space’ which can be either ‘inside you’ or outside you’. Ask your self this question, from a place where you feel comfortable and perhaps private, maybe a bedroom or a meadow….. Give your self 20 minutes or so – your ‘ME’ deserves your time.
• Question: “And where could my ‘ME’ be?” You may get an instant answer. Your ‘ME’ could be located inside you, like a feeling in your stomach, or heart, or head…… your eyes, your throat. Or, and this will not be strange to you once you take time to ask the location question – your ‘ME’ could be ‘outside’ of you – like above, or behind or one side or another side.
• Your next question: (perhaps on the following day as your unconscious may need 24 hours to process ‘where’ your ‘ME’ could be) “And – what does my ‘ME’ need?” You may need to have a note book with you for your ‘ME’s answers……
Take your time with this. Validating and respecting your ‘ME’ will have massive ongoing value for you. As you, your self begins to give your ‘ME’ the right space to be, and the right and normal responses that your ‘ME’ deserves – So your ‘ME’ will be validated and respected in the right way by others – who are important in your life. Your ‘ME’ will no longer feel pressured and ignored………..
For all of us our ‘ME’ has a certain genius to be expressed in exactly the right way.
For all of us our ‘ME’ has boundless capacity for natural harmonious enjoyment……………

Enjoy!
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE…..

August 15th, 2012

Imagine

Get Olympian Size Results:-
So there we were, Mike and me, watching the closing ceremony of our British Olympic Games…….. And imagine my delight when they played John Lennon’s Imagine!
You may have read the letter from me a few weeks ago: ‘You may say I’m a dreamer!’
But I’m not the only one.
You too are a dreamer.
And Lennon, in his wisdom, goes on to sing: ………”And the world will live as one.”
Now I’m certain that you will imagine that I have my own take on Lennon’s exquisite words!
You’re right!
And that is, for us all to live in the world as one – first of all it’s a mind set – within each of our individual minds ‘worlds’ to live within our self as one.
Our inner ‘world’ is our starting place. As it definitely was for all the amazing and successful Olympians. My absolute total full on delighted congratulations to them all.
We are, I believe, all of us proud. Proud of our Olympians, of our British and your own nations achievements. Thrilled that all those competing nations brought us all together as one…….

We can consider that some of the most successful medal winners started out only four years ago with a Goal.
They had their focus, their determination and motivation, they knew their reasons and purposes – and they went ahead – they moved forward towards their Goal with consummate, unwavering self belief.
Four years of a certain focused mind set.
We know that most of the winners employed sports psychology coaches to expand their motivation and self belief. And they had wonderful utter support from family and friends.
Bottom line – it was their self belief and motivation that got them there.
Did you see the psychologists who spoke to some of the medal winners – who were ‘down’ and rather flat and even having sleepless nights because they were asking themselves the question: What now? This, ‘What Now’ – we can discuss together at another time.
I thought a lot about that totally admirable four years of resolute, dogged determination and motivation. How do they maintain that level of discipline for all those years and thousands of gruellingly ‘uncomfortable’ hours of training? The how, will have its individual complexities for every one of our Olympians.
What will be common to their drive is: Recognition.
We all of us need some form of Recognition – from some source, not necessarily from our entire nation and the world, just from one or two significant individuals. Recognition is ‘food’ for our souls…..
Some of us right now this moment may be saying: “Well I run a mile every morning… I don’t need recognition for that. I enjoy it”!
Or we may be saying; “I do an outstanding job at my work – I know it – I don’t need any one to recognise what I achieve at work”.
But – (rare for me to use the But word!!) when we think about it – for all of us there is an area in each of our lives – when some kind of recognition of our self from some source – a family member – a loved one – a child – a customer – does give our soul nourishment.
For instance my soul is nourished everytime I receive one of those sweet emails from some one who is Working with one of my audio courses and they say: ‘I am Happy, thank you Sally’.
It’s not an ego boost! It’s not a recognition that makes me boastful – it’s soul food.
So, Mike said to me, after we’d watched some of the Closing Ceremony for the Olympics: “It’s taken hard training and discipline for a minimum of four years for these Olympians to succeed – when it only takes half an hour or so a day for forty days to really succeed and achieve a goal with one of your audio courses…”
So, what do you think? I’d really be delighted to hear your thoughts on this.
I think that the lovely people who are Working with me on my Audio Courses, and those who are now thinking of Working with me on my Audio courses, their ‘soul’ needs Recognition for what they oh so successfully achieve……….
Recognition for their discipline for 40 days. Definitely – they have earned it.
Because, anyone Working with me on my Audio courses, it is they who do the Work.
I’m there every step of the way! It’s like if I was a fitness coach – and the person Working with me (on my Audio course) is building psychological and emotional muscle – to successfully achieve a pristine, uncluttered, ‘un-stuck’ mind set – I don’t sit there distractedly saying: “Yeah lift an extra weight errrrrrr…. only if you want…..” I say: “You can do it – I Know you can – and this is how to do it successfully.”
I have loads of energy.
However – it is the person Working with me who ‘lifts the weights.’ They accomplish for themselves.
And they deserve Recognition.
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Tags: accomplish, imagine, Lennon, olympics, Team GB
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SECURE YOUR BRIDGE:-

August 13th, 2012

To those who have asked about my Courses

So we did some simple arithmetic together a few days ago! (Thanks to Earl Nightingale of the wonderful Nightingale-Connaught company.)
And there I was, suggesting to you, one my 40 audio courses, for someone who you know who is not living their life with vitality and passion and fulfilment of their self and their being………
And I was struck reading Earl, that Working with one of my courses takes around 20 hours.
So, let’s say we do actually work 3,000 hours a year. That leaves 3,000 hours in the year, when we’re not sleeping, to ‘fit in’ 20 hours or so in 40 days.
And that leaves 2,980 hours to feel and be passionate, full of vitality, celebrating your life and your unique genius! The genius to be – who you are meant to be…..
So, let’s just think about this particular truism again together for a few moments:
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius…………

I have been asked by loads of people to write about my courses. And the reason I haven’t, is because I am so, so proud of them.
.
But, here’s a little anecdote, just a short one to interest or amuse you. My Dad, my Hero, the strong, loving, and gentle man taught me to walk through life with consummate pride!! Bit of a conflict here for me cos my Mum, who sadly never ‘ate cakes’, in her life chastised me thoroughly for looking and being so proud: “You can’t go through life being so proud…”
So, for those of you who have asked about my courses, here goes……
The thing is my Therapeutic audio courses contain the best Work that I’ve put together in 30 years of 1:1 sessions and rigorous study to assist in resolving and curing psychological and emotional problem and suffering.
To assist people who have been struggling to live life with passion, vitality, inner certainty, calmness and awe, resourcefulness and beautiful and useful visions.
The scripts for the assignments I wrote and re-wrote. I asked for real advice from friends who are very successful (and I got it!!)
The assignments each take around 5 to 10 minutes a day. There are four of them. Ten days for each one. And they are based on the massive research of: What do all successful people have in common?
Whether that is in health, in well being, an inner stability in sense of self, in business and so on across the board. These four things are what they all have in common:
• They know what they want – they know their goal. They know their purposes and reasons to achieve their goal.
• They are fully motivated to achieve their goal.
• They have total belief that they will achieve their goal – successfully
• They can future pace themselves fully, with no objections from any part of them, into the time when their goal is successfully achieved.
These are the four assignments that I’ve written and recorded for each of my courses to guide you and teach you how to achieve individual goals such as: Be the Right Weight, Sleep Well, Gain Self Esteem, Have Harmonious Relationships, Enhance Happiness, End Anger and many others………
The next part of my Therapeutic Courses is a metaphorical story, which lasts around 20 minutes (entrained to the Ultradian Rhythms in our brain*).
Four different stories for each forty day course – listen to each one for 10 consecutive days.
Each time you listen the wisdom of your unconscious is hearing and responding positively and appropriately for you, to something different and important, unique to you as an individual.
Now, my stories, I did not have to re write!
Neither did I have to ask successful friends to ‘pull them apart’ for me so that they would be outstandingly good!
I wrote them – and they awed me, they are outstanding. I wrote them all from that ‘other place’ – which we have discussed before – from my deep unconscious.
And, without wanting to appear ‘fanciful’ here, maybe my stories also ‘came from’ that ‘space’ or ‘place’ that Carl Jung called the Collective Unconscious?
I can’t say, maybe one day I will know!!!
But honestly writing the stories for me was like I am a total natural. I would read them and proof listen to the recordings** and say: WOW – ‘where’ did that come from!
And then I had to ice the cake – as my Mum would say!
I added four relaxation tracks to my courses. We all need or want to relax in various ways depending on what is happening in our life – hence four different relaxation techniques!
I have so many people who have trialled, tried out, bought and Worked with my courses – successfully. I receive feed back that is profound and poignant and inspiring.
I had to really, really know that my courses are the besting in that they gain outstandingly successful results. They ‘do what it says on the tin’.
We are proud to say that we now have people all over the globe Working with my courses from the UK, USA, Canada, India……
** I want to thank with all my Heart my niece Laura Monaghan, I’m so proud of her, for her exquisite voice and her utterly focused perfectionist work singing with me on my stories. And Claire Woyka her voice is amazing, and her passion for my Work shines through her every note. And to Ron Angus the best recording technician I’ve ever come across. Thank you.
You can hear a sample from one of my courses
Thank you so much for listening to my proudness……
Warmly
Sally
* Ultradian Rhythms: Ref: Dr Ernest Rossi Professor Kathryn Rossi, Prof Kleitman.
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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BBC Radio Cumbria – Kevin’s Pigeon Phobia

August 8th, 2012

Kevin Fernihough – Fear of Pigeons

On Monday I was talking to BBC Radio Cumbria Presenter, Kevin Fernihough,who has a phobia of pigeons dating back to when he was four years old. He was invited, along with his father, into his neighbour’s pigeon loft where, when the pigeons were released, he clung to his father’s leg in fear. This fear has stayed with him through to his adult life.

You can hear the extract from Kevin Fernihoughs Radio Cumbria program here - 12-08-06 Kevin Fernihough Pigeon phobia

Do you have a phobia? This page on my web site has details on how to Fix Your Phobia - don’t delay, it only takes 30 minutes each day for 40 days to be CURED

You will be a most welcome visitor.

Sally Stubbs

Rapha-Hypnosis.com

sally@sally-stubbs.com – please do not hesitate to contact me direct

Tags: BBC Radio Cumbria, Fix a phobia, phobias, Rapha Hypnosis, Sally Stubbs
Posted in Hypnotherapy, Media, Phobia, Rapha Hypnosis | No Comments »

SIMPLE SUMS:-

August 8th, 2012

I am on a mission! 4,000 hours to ourself? (30mins per day x 40 days) = 3,980 + amazing results

I loved sums, I still do. ‘They’ used to laugh when I was little, ‘they’ said I was useless, at add ups and take aways!!
Five red squirrels this morning for breakfast, in and out of the ‘café’ that Mike built for them. Yeah five of them. I can count!
Anyway Earl Nightingale saved me the trouble and did this sum for me!
I haven’t actually checked if he’s totally accurate. It’s not like I’m marking Earl’s homework! So I apologise if Earl’s sums aren’t ‘bob on’
Here’s the maths:
We have 6,000 waking hours a year.
We work around 2,000 of those hours a year. (Earl did not add that some of us do work a 1,000 hours a year longer!!)
Therefore we have around 3,000 to 4,000 waking hours a year – for our self.
I only came across this sum recently, and thought why didn’t I work this out ages ago!
Do you think this is quite huge to consider – that we have around three to four thousand hours a year – for our self – to do with what we like – and to be – a human being, for some of this time, or in fact most of this time – instead of the fairly constant, – when we’re not sleeping – human doing!
Don’t you find it interesting that someone somewhere way back in our history in their ‘wisdom’ named us human beings – not human doings!
I might just want to Google later on, who this wise person or group of people were, who named us thus.
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius.
Most every child will be a spectacular space traveller – will be a brilliant bird soaring over mountains – will be the wise prince – will be the warrior in shining armour – will be the magical princess………………
Most every child will have received an injunction – probably from most well meaning adults to: ‘do this, do that’.
And for so many of us – as a child – our genius to ‘be’ was ‘wounded’ And so into our adult life the ‘wounding’ deep within us causes us pain. We more and more become human doings in an attempt to not feel the ‘pain’ of wounding.
So, here’s what I propose:
Any one you know who is ‘suffering’ either from the negative belief injunctions from well meaning adults when they were youngsters – or received some ‘wounding’ to their identity when they were youngsters – please – tell them that half an hour a day with me – with one of my courses for forty days – will assist them to restore their unique sense of child genius – to be a happy human being. Resolve and cure their wounds – either those wounds of negative self beliefs – or those wounds when at some time in their early life their sense of their identity was ‘questioned’
Look – my courses come with a money back guarantee – because I am on a mission!
I recently received this email – from a wonderful lady who is Working with my Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence, 40 day course.
How about this:
“Sally Stubbs you are AWESOME and I can’t tell you how delighted I am to have found you
Day 2 of CD 2, I’m so happy!
THANK YOU”
X
I have asked her permission of course to quote her email and share it with you to inspire you.
And you know what – I’m happy! I’m happy that she is re-gaining her happiness.
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: homework, Hypnotherapy, problem solving, Rapha Hypnosis, resolution
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ONE MOMENT BEFORE:

August 6th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

How to “Resolve Trauma” without re-living it?

Lots of people have been asking me questions about “T Minus One”.
I really love your questions, do keep them coming. Thank you.
So, here goes: T = Trauma
“T minus (-) one” is a moment in time before the worst moment of the trauma.
“T” is the worst moment or moments when the affect, distress is most intense.
“T plus (+) one” is a moment in time just after the worst moment of the traumatic experience.
We are now in T + one, the trauma is over. But not all of our self is in T + one.
Part of our persona remains stuck, or frozen in time, in the very difficult T – one moment.
The difficulties, pain & bewilderment keep on replaying within our unconscious.
Why did we get stuck? We froze time as an unsuccessful mechanism to protect our self from ‘T’ or event to prevent ‘T’ from ever happening.
We know that the problem is not located during the worst part of a trauma due to the unerring use, by the person who has the problem, of the gerund * “…ing”
Examples:
“My stomach keeps on churning….”
“I just keep thinking the worst…..”
“I have a tightening in my chest…..”
“I keep feeling like I’m falling……”
“There’s a fluttering in my throat…..”
“I feel like there’s a knife stabbing my heart……”
These examples are all indexed in the time frame, some time before the worst part of the event.
* A gerund from the Latin: to carry on – indicates a reoccurring non finite verb and behaves like the present participle (as a noun). The ‘something’ never completed itself; it carries on, a continuous over and over again cycle.
The nightmare sequences such as:
“He was chasing me and just before he grabbed me I woke up….”
“I was falling and falling and just before I crashed on the rocks I woke up….”
None of these dreams are finite, they do not ‘end’ we stop the dream – by being suddenly awake just before the next moment becomes worse, i.e.:
“He catches me and stabs me.”
“I land on the rocks and my body is all smashed.”
Bear in mind that these dream sequences are rarely memories.
They come from the rich language of the unconscious in allegory, symbols, puns, metaphor.
This is a more obvious example of a nightmare sequence: “I was running and running through hell and just before the monster got its claws into me and ate me alive – I suddenly woke up…..”
This example of a nightmare sequence will most likely have come from a child’s experience. An experience of an event or period of events in their life which was ‘hell’ to them, when an adult or older person were behaving ‘monstrously’ The child felt their real identity, who they really were, was being ‘eaten up’ by the ‘monster’
Problems are born at specific moments in time and space. These moments range from a ‘damning’ look in a parents eyes to repeated violating behaviours from another person. A child will not determine and distinguish the difference between their internal feelings and their external environment consequently the information from both becomes an internal undifferentiated information mass. Like a tangled ball of wool. This creates a symptom complex that permeates their experiences and persists into adulthood.
So what do we do?
My Work 1:1 comfortably and safely goes into the “T Minus One” moment and differentiates the information contained in that moment.
The differentiation allows us to focus on the individual now separated ‘strands’ and bring appropriate resolutions. This allows time to move on – never through “T” rather ‘over’ or ‘around’ “T” into “T + 1”.
Also my Work on my CD courses will assist the differentiation of “T Minus One” information and move to resolutions.
All of my Work also honours the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ or ‘frozen’ in a moment in time………….
Excellent!
There’s quite a bit to take in BUT it IS fabulous………
Also more of my videos on YouTube if you would care to take a look.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

Tags: Hypnotherapy, Rapha Hypnosis, T Minus One, trauma
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WARNING! USE WITH LOVE & CARE:-

August 1st, 2012

Sally Stubbs

I do enjoy having my rants!
Here’s the latest!
Recently I watched a few minutes of early morning Breakfast television.
Did you happen to see this one?
Absolutely shocking!
The presenters informed the viewers that around 10% of five year old children in the UK are clinically depressed.
We could talk a lot about this! But all I’ll say is that I am horrified, heart achingly horrified.
A very pretty clinical psychologist came onto the program ‘sofa’ to explain, that the reason for these statistics about depression in such young children is because parents are in low spirits about the credit crunch, and their personal finances.
OK – it’s a possibility.
I do have to say that my Dad, when he was a child, had four siblings, hardly any food, no new clothes no new shoes, five children in one bed, outside toilet…..
My Dad wrote: ‘My family were rich! A wealth of lovingness, contrariness and sentimentality………’
Just a thought!!!
Breakfast time television went on to show a few minutes of an eight year old boy working with his therapist.
The boy had been in therapy since he was eighteen months old, when he had displayed some aggressive behaviours…………………….. (I really want to say: Give me strength! But I won’t! No really I WILL I need it in these Muppet circumstances)
The boy had floppy, shiny dark hair and a really nice round face.
He was sitting with his therapist and winding sellotape around his hand.
She said; ‘you’re doing that because you want to wind the tape around your mother’s mouth and make her be quiet.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not, I just like doing it’
The boy had taken some of his toys tied them to a piece of string and hung them out the window.
The therapist said: ‘You’re doing that because you feel insecure and so you’re making your toys feel insecure.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not’.
The therapist repeated her diagnosis.
A tragedy, a total lack of respectful communication with the boy.
That is what I find shocking.
The TV presenter said to the boy: ‘Why are you hanging your toys out the window on a piece of string?’ The boy said, with a nice, pleasant smile: ‘because it’s fun!’
We have lots of skills and strategies to achieve outstanding rapport with another person.
Let’s just consider a couple of them for now:
First of all, let’s think what we are doing here:
Rapport is the excellence of relationship that results in mutual trust, receptiveness and responsiveness.
Rapport is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust and participation within which another person can respond comfortably.
A ‘couple’ of strategies:
• ‘Mirror’ with the person. This means, however the person is sitting or standing, make your body a ‘mirror’ image of theirs. The person will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world’
• ‘Pace’ with the person. This means breathe with them, the same rate and speed and depth as their breathing. Swallow with them and blink with them. The ‘person’ will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world. ‘Pacing’ is used in marketing techniques, as once you are elegantly ‘pacing’ with a person you can then take the ‘lead’.
I am not interested in taking the ‘lead’ in communicating, unless on some occasions it can be truly useful.
For example a few years ago I had a call from the police.
They asked me if they could bring a 15 year old to see me. The young girl had been raped in a local park, and the police could not get the girl to speak.
Of course I would see her.
The poor young girl arrived with two policemen and a police woman.
She curled up in a chair in my room, with her head on her knees, she was breathing very shallowly, and rapidly, high up in her chest.
I did not fully curl up in my chair, I mirrored her really elegantly, and I ‘paced’ her breathing, meaning I was breathing exactly like her.
She did not speak, and apart from her breathing she made no sound.
I did not speak, and apart from my breathing I did not make a sound.
After around 8 or 9 minutes my breathing was totally in sync with her, and I began to elegantly slow and deepen my breathing. I was then ‘leading’ her and her breathing followed mine.
I was then able to slowly, slowly uncurl my body, and she followed me. After a couple more minutes she was uncurled breathing well and she burst into sobbing tears.
After the tears she started to spontaneously talk about the horror she had experienced.
Listen to the other person’s use of language, not just the tone, volume and speed of their voice, also their use of words.
• Elegantly respond with their tone, speed, volume and use of words. In terms of their words, listen as to whether they are using visual, auditory or kinaesthetic words.
• This is letting you know that their inner ‘world’ communication is visual (they make pictures) or auditory (they make sounds) or kinaesthetic (they make feelings)
• Examples: they say to you – “I see what you’re saying” so you respond with visual words such as: “It looks like that…..” Or they say: “It sounds to me as though…..” you respond with auditory words such as: “I hear you….” Or they say: “I felt you ignored me…..” you respond with kinaesthetic words such as: “Your feelings are important….”
There are more of these strategies, maybe for another time hey! These three strategies may seem simple to you. Try them with care and love, they are really powerful.
If you’re not astonished at your results I will eat my hat!
And please have a look at our web sites, there’s more therapy stuff to be read there.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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BRIDGE BUILDING:

July 30th, 2012

Let’s talk about having, and how to have, outstanding harmonious relationships.
And the how is to have outstanding rapport.
I named my last company – Excellent Rapport!

.
Rapport is the excellence of relationship that results in mutual trust, receptiveness and responsiveness.
I gain rapport with you by understanding and respecting your inner world (thoughts, beliefs, values as you experience it).
Rapport is essential for good communication.

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Good rapport is the essential first step in having good communication with you.
Rapport is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust and participation within which you can respond comfortably to make the inner changes that you want and choose.
I, ever respectful of you, in my 1:1 Work and in my Work on my CD/MP3 courses build a bridge to your model of the world.
Everybody’s model of the world is subtly different, unique.
Without the bridge you cannot step out of the part of your world which is causing you distress, discomfort, conflicts and uncertainties, suffering and ‘pain’.
Having rapport is having outstanding communication…………….
We can learn skills to achieve rapport with others, which may seem to you to be strange! Maybe lacking spontaneity? Maybe manipulative of another person?
Sorry but the word: “boogaloo!” just popped up from my unconscious – which is giving me a big smiley smile because Mike uses that word to mean: ‘So bl**dy what, who cares!!!!!!!!’
Of course we would not use rapport skills and strategies in a relationship that is fully harmonious, we’ve got the rapport in this relationship! No need for skills.
And as for manipulative, a lot of our communications with another person are manipulative we just don’t consciously know it!
We can: think of loads of examples!
I’ll start us off.

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OK so we don’t want this person to approach us, or speak to us. We can’t actually walk away. We ‘hide’! The thousands of tiny muscles in our face and eyes ‘close down’ our breathing changes, our shoulder muscles and torso sinks away. We’re communicating to the person ‘stay away’!
We have, hopefully, successfully manipulated the situation with our communication!
Anyway, here we are fancying this person, you know what we do! We not only smile, our torso moves outwards, our breathing changes to a deeper, or faster state – we actually dilate our pupils, how clever we are! Now, (we hope!) we’ve communicated successfully to the ‘eye candy’ person to ‘come on’, and the ‘eye candy’ comes closer.
Psychology research suggests that only around 7% of any communication is verbal!
This is my Dream for us all: That we can, all of us have outstanding rapport first of all with our self.
For you to first have outstanding rapport with your self!

Your self will then feel respected, understood and accepted by you.
How we achieve this, within our self, is to resolve and free our inner self from any past ‘pains’ and suffering.
We can Cure the ‘pain’ and bewilderment. We can find, and free the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ and lost. The information contained in the “T Minus One” moments will be transformed and resolved.

And the other part of the how to achieve and have outstanding rapport with your self – is to discover those negative debilitating beliefs, which manifest in our conscious and unconscious inner dialogues, and change them.

Change them to the only beliefs, about your self, that you truly need: Beliefs that validate your self and celebrate your life.
I promise you this does not turn you into some vile egotistically non caring person!
I’m living proof of that!
My ‘me’ has outstanding rapport with my ‘self’……
This is my Dream for you and for all of us……
Thank you for listening
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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SHOOTING FROM THE HIP?

July 27th, 2012

I woke up this morning wondering what I’d be talking to you about today – and Bingo – in that hypnogogic state, those few moments of waking, when our unconscious is flowing with important information for us I had a great memory.
Dear ole David Grove, in my memory this morning, he’s striding up and down teaching.
He’s wearing khaki shorts a tee shirt and he’s bare foot. David is a Maori on his mother’s side of his family.
As he’s striding up and down he’s using his arms as if he’s firing an arrow from a bow. (he is mixing his Metaphors here – but do I care! No way – the man is a genius with an awesomely huge heart!)
David is saying; “You ‘pull back’ time to before the negative debilitating beliefs and ‘pain’; you ‘pull back’ time to the time of a pristine mind.
And then you fire the magic bullet (the pristine resourceful mind) into the present”.
Well David named the ‘bullet’: magic. And in my last post I named it golden.
My image of the golden bullets is that the ‘gold’ is liquid, flowing into the mind, pristine and pure.
We are ‘pulling back’ time and as we ‘move’ back through time we resolve and change the negative beliefs, until we have a pristine mind.
GOLDEN BULLET FOR THOSE DARK DAYS – HOW TO BE UPBEAT AND LIGHT
How to turn a bad day into a good one, like when you wake up feeling there’s a big black cloud hanging over you:
• Stop waking with the ‘dark cloud’ and dream well. What do I mean? How do I do that?
• We dream several times a night, and the main purpose of our rapid eye movement (REM) dreams is to search for solutions to our problems. A difficulty can be that we are dreaming in those last few minutes or so before we awake and we awake with the darkness of a problem still hanging there unresolved.
• To dream well, – as you are dropping off to sleep at night you can clearly instruct your unconscious, that is the part of the mind where dreams come from.
• Tell your mind clearly and with energy: I want my dreams to search comfortably for solutions, and I will awake in the morning feeling clearer and lighter.
• When you give yourself this instruction before falling asleep – do not actually mention a particular problem, until you become more accomplished at your dream work. The unconscious mind will use its own wisdom to search for solutions.
GOLDEN BULLETS TO FREE YOURSELF OF THE ‘DARK CLOUD’ AND HAVE A GOOD DAY
• If your dream work takes a while to really kick in for you in a positive way, and you still awake for a while with the ‘dark cloud’ you can use what we call ‘pattern interruption’ to dispel it. This means: do something very, very different and with as much energy as you can muster.
• Example: Just sit up in bed and shout out loud something like: I am sitting here (Truism) I am breathing (Truism) Brighter days are good! (Truism)
• Sing out loud, very loud, loads of energy, a song that’s maybe funny, daft or upbeat. Then move.
• Einstein said: ‘Nothing can happen until something moves!’ So move, get out of bed, and do something else that is entirely different – like throw ice cold water in your face! Dance!
• Why? Because when we interrupt our patterns of behaviour, and I’m calling the ‘dark cloud’ a behaviour, we need only do this 2 or 3 times, and when we do the interruption with energy the brain stops being able to access the old pattern.
MORE GOLDEN BULLETS ON HOW TO TURN A BAD DAY INTO A GOOD DAY
How to turn a bad day into a good one when, let’s say for an example, you walk into the office and find your boss in a vile mood.
• Check your beliefs? Do you believe that their behaviour is about you? Could your belief be wrong? Are they having a hard time from someone else and maybe splurging their hurt feeling around you? If this is what they are doing, you can of course choose to think How sad for them, and shrug it off you. Or you can choose to protect yourself emotionally, by imagining yourself, for example, behind a strong glass shield where their behaviour cannot ‘get to you’.
• Realise that we cannot change another person, unless they ask us for help. We can only change our own responses in a way that is comfortable and strengthening of our self, and also generally respectful of another’s needs.
• We can ‘walk away’ from the situation even if we actually remain right next to the person, we can still ‘walk away’ – knowing this important thing, it is our choice to ‘walk away’ we are not being forced, pushed or controlled by their behaviour.
• Or, we can observe this person and then choose to communicate with them about their vile behaviour, by using their language! To communicate well and achieve a really good out come we need to listen to the language another person uses, and take a step into their emotional world by ‘speaking’ their language with them.

I am still Working rigorously on becoming a truly successful Revolutionary!
Enjoy your ‘gold’

Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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GOLDEN BULLETS!

July 26th, 2012

Let’s talk about enhancing your happiness.

Let’s not put a ceiling on happiness hey! I don’t! It’s interesting to think about our happiness, it’s not quantifiable, and yet it’s not theoretical. We cannot hold it or control. Yet – It is real. Biochemically we can measure it, in a certain way! We can ‘feed’ our happiness, nourish it and grow it.
And do you know, not once in 30 years of my Work, no one has ever come to me and said: “I’ve got too much happiness can you help to cure it!”

MY GOLDEN BULLETS TO NURTURE AND NOURISH OUR HAPPINESS:
• Check our beliefs.
• Our Beliefs drive a massive part of our behaviour
• Our Beliefs are often unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them!
• So when we set our goal to achieve X Y Z, for example lose weight, assert our self with our ‘snarly’ boss and we failed with that goal in the past – we will probably have a belief that we will ‘Fail Again’.
• No matter how much ‘get up and go’, up beat energy, determination we think we have to achieve our goal, our behaviours will be driven by our unconscious ‘I’m a failure’ belief
GOLDEN BULLET TO HAVE POSITIVE BELIEFS:
If you have been Working with repeating to your self a truism like my example:
“It is healthy and also nice to be calm.”
Now begin to Work with a positive affirmation like my example: “I’m going to be really, really calm! (….when I assert myself with my daughter, or boss, or neighbour….)”
• The use and purpose of positive affirmation is to ‘bring up’ into our conscious mind and awareness any objecting negative beliefs that we may have, so that we can do something about them and change them.
• Positive affirmations do not create positive beliefs to achieve our goal. And if we have no negative beliefs we don’t blimin’ well need to waste our time with positive affirmation, we simply act and achieve!
• Here’s the absolute ‘gold’: – as you say your affirmation, be exquisitely sensitive, which I know you are, to your immediate next thought.
(By the way I don’t think I’ve mentioned that a few years ago I contacted several neuroscience departments in universities asking: What is the speed of thought?
One answer is: Less than one tenth of a second.
So you need to slow down to get some of those thoughts, or you’ll miss them.
My free download story will help you to slow down your thoughts
• If your very next thought is objecting – to your affirmation – this objection will be your negative belief – which will have it’s foundation in some kind of failure……
• Write down your objecting thoughts (negative beliefs) – and Work to discover your solutions to them.
• Remember that a lot of our negative behaviour patterns are driven by our negative beliefs, and we can change them.
• You can also Work with one of my 40 day courses, this will help you enormously.
• Once we get to know our negative beliefs we have choice. We can choose to change them.
• When we really get to understand our deep inner belief systems, particularly about our self, we can choose to have only those beliefs that are supportive of our self and celebrate our life, enhancing our happiness.
• We can choose to stop having those beliefs that are self condemning or self invalidating.

MORE GOLDEN BULLETS TO SUCCEED:
More on goal setting.
• Goal setting takes time.
So we’ll remind ourselves about goals.
• What do successful people have in common?
• They know their goal, they know what they want to achieve.
• When we set our selves a goal to achieve, we need to make sure we state, or write it down in the positive.
• And, speak your goal out loud, congruently, our DNA responds to sound.
• So, an example of what I mean. Chanting internally: “I Will stop being angry with X or Y”, will inevitably lead to anger with X or Y. Because the brain has ‘heard’ the word anger, the brain will attempt to access that behaviour.
• So, the goal needs to be stated as something like: I really want to be understanding and supportive of X or Y.
By the way if anger is an issue for you or someone close to you my 40 day End Anger Course on CD’s and MP3 is about Ending anger, not controlling or managing anger, permanent resolution, Cures that Endure.
• Goal setting needs our attention, to nurture our emotions.
A simple goal might be: I want to lose weight.
• We need to check attentively with our emotions that the words we use are in harmony with every part of us.
So, someone for example who has sadly had a huge loss, maybe of a loved one, the word lose, as in lose weight could be deeply uncomfortable to say the least.
And part of the persona will emotionally resist the word lose, and the weight will not change, or may even get worse.
This is how important the words we use in goal setting are. In this example the words for this goal may need to be something like: I want to become slim, strong and healthy!
When our negative thoughts and negative beliefs are also ‘woven’ into emotional ‘pain’, hurt, suffering – please do Work with one of my 40 day courses. No matter the issue you are dealing with Judith all my 40 day courses will take you to a safe place and space where you can and will resolve, safely, your ‘pain’ And you do not need to know, or remember what caused your ‘pain’
I’m still Working on being a real Revolutionary!
Enjoy your ‘gold’
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: happiness, Hypnotherapy, nourish, nurture, Rapha Hypnosis
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AFFIRMATIONS DON’T WORK!

July 23rd, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Hello:
Here I am again with Top Tips! Blimey…. Someone out there please help me out here with a more ‘educated’ or a funky phrase would be good!!!
But, first of all – the red squirrels are in Top Form! Through my window here I can see the old ‘trip trap’ bridge over the river Greta – in fact we’re kind of partly built into this wonderful old bridge.
(‘Trip Trap’ bridge from the folklore story The Three Billy Goats Gruff!)
So this morning, guess what, I looked up from typing, and there’s a red squirrel, on the bridge parapet which is practically attached to our window ledge, as plumped up with itself as you like looking straight in at me. Giving me a kind of what the ‘heck’ are you doing look!! How cool is that eye contact with a red squirrel!
Let’s talk about affirmations:
Positive affirmations are short statements designed to replace negative thoughts, with positive nurturing thoughts.
Affirmations as such do not work!
And loads of therapists use them in their therapy work. The Muppets! Which is an ironically affectionate, and yet weary, (of Muppetdom in therapy), term!
Positive affirmations are like ‘papering over the cracks’; the negative thoughts are still there, ‘the cracks’, and they, the negative thoughts will keep on reappearing.
Briefly here’s how affirmations go:
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to be really, really calm!” said times a hundred a day.
Objecting negative thought: “I can’t possibly be calm, I’m terrified!”
Positive affirmation: “I am brilliant!”
Objecting negative thought: “I’m not!!”
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to live on lettuce all week and lose my weight gain!” said times a hundred a day.
Objecting negative thought: “I can’t possibly do that – I’ll feel empty and lonely if I do that!”
The objections will win!
However, the secret is: The objection can and will be resolved once we give the ‘objection’ the exact right attention that the ‘objection’ needs. What I’ve just said is truly vitally important for our mind-body strength, vigour, vitality, stability………..
We’ve been talking together about achieving ‘get up and go’. If you’re ready, with some ‘get up and go’ let’s go and add something new and different now.
Set yourself a goal, now that you’ve got some ‘get up and go’.
I’ve talked about goal setting with you before.
Goal setting is vital, it’s like if we don’t know ‘where we’re going’ it’s unlikely we’ll ever get there! Even though we’ve now got some ‘get up and go’ to set off, we may not even set off – if we don’t plan where we’re going!
The mind needs to know where it’s ‘going’ therefore needs a goal. Even if you leave your home to go for a totally aimless ramble, your mind will need a goal like: “I’ll see something new around the corner.” “I’ll have an adventure….” “I want to just get away from it all for a while …..”
A small goal to begin with, a ‘first steps’ type goal.
A simple example, you may want more self esteem, or as dear Jonny on my video says: “Liking and respecting myself….”
Taking the ‘more self esteem’ as an example.
Take a ‘small step’ to begin with, rather than ‘I want self esteem enough to take on the world’, have a goal like: ‘I want self esteem to tell my boss, (daughter, neighbour….) that they are out of order when they keep putting me down’
Now, add to your goal not an affirmation as such but a truism.
When you listen to my metaphorical stories, like my free download, and all my stories on my CD and MP3 courses, you will find them loaded with truisms. These were one of Dr Milton Erickson consummate skills, in his extraordinary successes in resolving psychological and emotional problems for his patients.
By truisms I don’t mean simply an obvious statement, I mean a statement that the conscious mind and unconscious mind cannot object too, which in my Therapy provides a clear space for the unconscious to Work to resolutions.
Let’s take my examples of positive affirmations and turn them into truisms:
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to be really, really calm!”
Truism: “It is healthy and also nice to be calm.”
Positive affirmation: “I am brilliant!”
Truism: “Brilliance in life is enjoyable.”
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to live on lettuce all week and lose my weight.”
Truism: “Healthy food is really healthy”
Find your own truism which connects with your goal, what you want to achieve for your self. Repeat your truism to yourself morning and night, and every now and again during the day of course! Enjoy.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

Tags: affirmations, goals, Hypnotherapy, truism
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TELESCOPE TIPS!

July 18th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis

Top Tips!
Please email me your thoughts for a better more gracious or funky phrase!

It’s odd because in the last couple of years I’ve written around 60 to 70 pieces for journalists, for newspaper and magazine articles, and there was always a ‘hunger’ (so I was told) from their readers for Top Tips!
I think that rather odd or is that just me?

MY EIGHT TOP TIPS:
1. This one will amuse you, as it will look like a paradox to everything we’ve been considering together, to nurture your very own unique ‘get up and go’:
Take a twenty minute rest twice a day, in that very chair of yours!
But this is an ‘active’ break.
The activity will be your unconscious really working hard for you.
If you need the hard core scientific facts may I suggest you read about Dr Ernest Rossi work and the work of Professor Kleitmann on Ultradian Rhythms and the rest phases in the brain and mind. You can find them on-line.
2. To help you really benefit from your twenty minute rests, I have a gift for you.
It’s a free hypnotherapeutic story called ‘It’s a Breeze Let the New Blow In’ which you can download from here after filling in your e mail address.
By the way it’s a truly beautiful story. It lasts for; yeah you got it, twenty minutes! (Downoad time about one minute.)
My story enables your body to rest, your mind to become ‘quiet’ – to go beyond the ‘babble’ and allows your unconscious to search through your inner resources to find your ‘get up and go…’
I do know it is difficult to take a full twenty minute rest without the help of a story like mine, as, although our body will attempt to rest, the ‘babble’ in our minds so often precludes real rest.
I’m not being disrespectful to you here, we all have the ‘babbling’!

3. Just as you start to take your twenty minute rests, twice a day, (Rossi & Kleitmann’s research shows we actually need these rests every hour and a half!) tell your mind, firmly, I want more get up and go….. for “these” reasons, (State your own personal reasons, in the positive e.g. instead of stating: ‘I want to stop feeling debilitated’, state : ‘I want to feel bright’ – in your own words.)
4. As a few days go by you will notice some perhaps small differences and changes in your behaviour and what you achieve.
So to boost the changes for yourself, get a note book, and for a few more days, write down your ‘get up & go’ goal and your reasons for your ‘get up & go’ goal.
Again it is important to write your goals in the positive.
Here is an overview example, instead of writing: ‘The reason I want to feel bright is because I don’t want to live in this dark dingy, dodgy ‘inner’ place any more….’ Write: “The reason that I want feel bright is because I want to live in an ‘inner’ place full of light brightness, I want to feel full of life and I want to feel beauty.’
5. Hone your list of goals for these few days, take your time, enjoy it, believe in ‘Santa Claus’! As you write, be outrageous, include goals which you think could be impossible! Carry your list with you, in your pocket, in your bag; look at your list a couple of times a day!
6. Next, to really give your mind and brain a focus of positive energy on your list of goals – maybe do some drawings to represent each goal.
Find wonderful photographs to represent each goal, try and find a song or music to play or sing or hum or whistle to represent each of your goals.
Our minds, brains & bodies (which are 70% water,*) really respond to positive (and equally to negative) images and music and to us singing and humming.
*Water molecules respond positively to positive thoughts, sounds, images, and negatively to negative thoughts, sounds & images. It’s true, the research results are available on line but I’m not giving you a link because I want you to keep reading here!
7. If after a week or two you want even better results for your ‘get up and go…’ and we all want better results, including me, then ask yourself this question:
What is stopping me getting even better results in my thoughts and in my beliefs?
Ask this question in the few moments just before you begin your Ultradian Rest.
And then as you rest, listening to your downloaded story will help enormously.
Listen carefully to your inner dialogue responses to this question.

You may be ‘hearing’ thoughts and beliefs such as: “Why bother, you’re getting too old to bother to get up and go….”
Bingo!
This is not the truth.
None of your negative thoughts and beliefs will be the truth.
Choose to listen to only the truth.
8. So, straight away after your twenty minute rest, with this negative ‘stuff’ still fresh in your mind, which it isn’t actually fresh, it’s old, old stuff you’ve been carrying for years and it ‘stinks’, write the negative thoughts down. After you’ve written them down – you can of course see them.
Once we’ve finally seen something we can choose how we will change it.
You need to ‘see’ your negative beliefs yourself.
If you were to phone me, I’d be most happy to help you to see!
It’s a bit like this, if you sat in my room with me and I said:
“The wall behind you is a gorgeous warm, dusky pink!”
You’d believe me!
However to have the belief for yourself you need to turn around and see for yourself!
About your negative beliefs – basically, bottom line – you can choose to refuse to listen to such garbage again.
And with all your eight Top Tips (blimey I’ve said it again!!!) please enjoy this journey to you having abundant ‘get up and go………’

I don’t do ‘Fast Food Therapy’ – sorry but it doesn’t ‘nourish’ you!
Real ‘nourishment’, is all I am interested in, it creates lasting ‘growth’, flourishing results and real success.
So my Therapy Systems take some time – well worth it since your rewards are truly enduring and huge……
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

http://rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

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MIND TELESCOPE AVAILABLE:

July 16th, 2012

Scope out your mind!

We all want more self esteem, more confidence in our sense of self, more inner stability, no inner ‘clutter’, no ‘stinky stuff’ in our minds. We all want inner ‘clean spaces’ and more happiness… that includes me…. I don’t put a ceiling on it!
So what do you want?
Do you really want to stay there ‘in your chair?’ Do you really want the ‘same old, same old…’ It might look a bit different from day to day, but hey, isn’t that pretty much it, ‘same old, same old’.
Or, whoopee, do you want some life force surging through your veins, energy, ‘lust’ for life. Are you, like me, kind of outrageous, in a kindness to others way of course? Do you, like me, want to do something different! Discover and experience something different!
I personally want to be Revolutionary in a way that will end emotional and psychological suffering.
I want to bring happiness, cheerfulness, optimism and the “Whoopee!” times into peoples lives, including mine!
The “Whoopee!” can be, for me, as I relax into sleep at night the:
“Wow, I finally saw that Osprey I wanted to see today – Good Night everyone”
Or, “Cool, I went for a walk and I smiled at a person and they told me their troubles and then they smiled too… How good is that….”
Or, “I think, when I sat by the river today, I got some really fresh thoughts …..I’ll sleep happily on that, and let those ideas grow….Sweet dreams everyone.”
Let’s ask three questions here:
1. What’s stopping us having the energy to do something different?
2. What’s the point in doing something different, our ‘chair’ is comfortable, what’s the point in moving? (We all need really good reasons to do something different and get up and go).
3. Once we decide to have the energy to get up and go – how are we going to get ‘it’?
Well, the ‘how’ will be my top tips and we’ll come to those later; but we need to answer 1 & 2 first.
So, OK what’s stopping us having the ‘get up and go’?
We are!
I honestly know that we’ve been brought up in a ‘blame’ culture. We ‘blame’ loads of stuff in the world for our lack of action: The weather! The government! Our parents!
But the choice is absolutely ours, the choice is to discover how to change our thinking and heal our feelings and emotional wounds and confidently do something different.
Last summer we attended a presentation given by Simon Woodroffe, he was thoroughly charismatic and loaded with ‘get up and go’.
He said; “Behind your face there’s a whole world, and a lot of it is cluttered…’”(I am maybe para phrasing a tad.)
Simon’s remarks made me think of this quote from Coleridge’s notebooks. I had the audacity to use it at the beginning of my book which I’m about to send to the publishers (another Whoopee!):
“He looked at his own Soul
with a Telescope. What seemed
all irregular, he saw and
shewed to be beautiful
Constellations: and he added
to the Consciousness hidden
worlds within worlds.”
This quote is so brilliant, Coleridge’s ‘irregular’ I relate to Simon’s ‘cluttered’.
How cool to have a ‘telescope’, with which to look into our inner worlds..
My tips are a ‘Mind Telescope’. They enable us to comfortably and safely look into our ‘inner worlds within worlds’, and once we get the view, we can then resolve the ‘irregularities’ or clutter.
We can change our habituated thought patterns and beliefs, those that do not support us or celebrate our life.
That’s the ‘clutter’, and that’s what literally drains us of our energy and vitality.
I’ll just repeat this, it’s worth it: What drains us of our energy, what stops us having that confident ‘get up and go’ even for a stroll, or a ‘whoopee’ time, is how we are thinking and what we are believing about our self and our life’s potential.
Invalidating our own thoughts and beliefs affects how we feel, and drains us of vital energy.
The great news is, we can change those thoughts and beliefs.
We used to think they were ‘hard wired’, irreversible.
This is not the truth! We can change them!
The awkward part of making the changes, apart from us needing to have really good reason’s and purpose to change, is that these types of thoughts and beliefs are unconscious; we often do not consciously know we have them. So, my tips will enable you to explore your ‘hidden worlds within worlds’ of your unconscious and discover what you need.
Next, why should we be bothered to do something different, after all, our ‘chair’ is comfortable enough for us to just stay put! And yes, we have our reasons, like: It will do me good to go and look for the Osprey, get some fresh air! But, the huge reason to get up and go – is, when we get mental stimulation, we literally grow our own brain.
You may have heard of neurogenisis, I wrote about it a couple of months ago. Neurogenisis is the growth and formation of new nerve, or brain cells.
Research in current neuroscience indicates, contrary to 100 years of dogma, that our human brain is capable of generating new brain cells throughout our life cycle.
One of my teachers, the eminently brilliant Dr Ernest Rossi states: “The psychological precedes the physical. The mind drives the body, which drives the genome.”
There are three activities or behaviours which are key to connecting psychological experiences that optimise gene expression, neurogenesis, and healing.
These three activities or behaviours are what we need to incorporate into our every day life so that we can keep on growing our brain (neurogenisis).
1. Novelty: experience something novel, fascinating or new in your every day life.
2. Environmental enrichment. Enrich your environment; you’ll know how to do this. (You might have read that I believe Mike would love to have his motor bike in our living room, which would really enrich the environment for him!) But maybe a new picture would be more appropriate for you?
3. Physical exercise: you don’t need to be an athlete! The wondrous Dr Milton Erickson, who is considered to be the grand father of Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy, was wheel chair bound in his later years due to a recurrence of polio. Dr Erickson exercised by preparing the families vegetables every evening.
So, do we now have good enough reason’s to ‘get up and go….’ Which includes – Top Reason – we will grow our own brain!
And third question, now that we know that what’s stopping us is ….us! Not the weather, not the government, not our parents – and we have our Top Reason!: How are we going to get out of our ‘chair’?
I’ve got eight top tips for you to use your ‘Mind-scope’!
Actually, I honestly hate the phrase ‘Top Tips’! Its so media type speak. If you’ve got a better phrase for me – please let me know.
I hope you’ll take some time in the next couple of days to consider the immeasurable value to us of how we can stimulate neurogenesis, and grow our own brains! How awesome is that…….
Have a look at my 30 mins a day for 40 days course on Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence.
Or listen to a short excerpt from the course.
Mind Scope tips coming soon.

Thinking of you warmly

Sally

Tags: 40 days, Rapha Hypnosis, self esteem & confidence
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TALKING ABOUT BLACK DOG?

July 11th, 2012

So, I woke up today – bright and cheerful – and also sad for those of us who are not consistently cheerful and optimistic, which ‘believe it or not’ is our natural state to be in.
So I thought that the ‘black dog’ is a worthy subject for us to consider…….
Depression, a term coined by Adolf Meyer, has been considered an inadequate name.
William Styron in his account of his depression, Darkness Visible, wrote: “’Melancholia’ would still be far more apt and evocative a word for the blacker forms of the disorder, but it was usurped by a noun with a bland formality lacking any magisterial presence.”
American author Susan Sontag was more succinct: “Depression is melancholy minus its charms…”
Churchill named his own depression – ‘black dog’. He was not the first or last to use ‘black dog’ to describe depression. While the term has survived Churchill, its origins remain obscured in the history of the English language.
Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames, said of her father’s depression:
“A lot has been made of the depressive side of his character by psychiatrists who were never in the same room with him. He himself talks of his ‘black dog’, and he did have times of great depression, but marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the ‘black dog’.”
Whatever our personal opinion may be on Churchill’s achievements, he certainly did achieve, even though chronically haunted by his ‘black dog’.
I say: “We need to celebrate how well those of us suffering depression do function, and do achieve.”
I have worked as a clinical hypnotherapist and licensed psychotherapist for many years with young people suffering with depression. I have total respect for their inner strengths to cope. The psychological and emotional ‘worlds’ of depression which they have, not out of any conscious choice, entered, do not relate in anyway to the ‘worlds’ of day to day life. And so it takes massive energy for the sufferer to even attempt to relate to life.
Depression is often compounded with anxiety, such as shame, fear of the weakness to be able to change; (“Pull your self up with your boot laces!” Which actually defies physics, we can’t!) Guilt about having ‘mental illness’ and maybe guilt about how the illness affects others; family and friends.
We know the unbearable tragic statistics: around one million people in the world commit suicide each year; one in five of us, say the World Health Organisation, will suffer a ‘’mental illness’.
Medication helps temporarily; it helps to get a flow of energy, specifically serotonin. But, it does not cure. For thirty years my focus has been on cure rather than management or control.
As Churchill’s daughter said; “… marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog”.
However, I see that the ‘black dog’ is still looming, a dark presence in the back yard kennel, sadly ever ready to pounce!
How can we bring a cure?
As I truly do not want to lose you here, I repeat, I have total respect for the suffering of depression. I too suffered, in the early 1980’s; my life was not worth living.
I had a brilliant Therapist, David Grove!
I’ve had no recurrence of ‘depression’, the ‘black dog’ was set free, but that’s a whole story in itself, as the ‘black dog’ is a wounded part of our ‘Me’.
Sure, I have had challenges, and sadness and loss, and I’ve discovered solutions to challenges and moved on, and I’ve grieved and moved on from my loss.
The next part of my discussion with you is largely based on my successful Work as a therapist plus my experience and rigourous study:
Anxiety and depression can become compounded into an undifferentiated mass of psychological and emotional information, leading us to experience the unsolvable horrific cycle of: “The same damned thing over and over again….”
My Work differentiates out the anxiety, and brings resolution to the fears and shame; we can then give full attention to the depression.
Depression will have its antecedents in our early formative years, in our learnt beliefs, trauma or crisis. We may or may not know what triggers the depression later, in our teens or young adult life. It’s not always necessary to know or have the insights about what triggered it.
In our early years we unconsciously, as a psychological protective mechanism, freeze moments in time. The unconscious stops time, right on the edge of trauma or crisis in an attempt to stop the next moments becoming worse: For example: I am age 5, this important adult is yelling at me….I unconsciously stop time whilst they are yelling at me in case they start beating me……
These ‘frozen moments’ of ‘the yelling’ play on and on deep within our mind for a year or twenty years until something in our environment triggers the feelings of fear, sadness, helplessness, not necessarily the memories of, in this example, a yelling adult.
We may not even have noticed the trigger, for example: The newspaper seller shouting the news on the street had the same tone and delivery of voice as the yelling adult…..
We walked on by and suddenly we felt low or fearful.
These trigger encounters will connect deeply and significantly with our younger experience. Because, the part of us frozen in time never grew on in time and deeply continues to feel the ‘pain’ of those moments.
My work safely enters these frozen moments in time and brings resolution to the experiences, freeing the part of us who became ‘stuck’ enabling time to move on.
More about black dog depression and support at Blackdog Tribe.com
Thank you for listening.
Sally

Tags: black dog, depression, Hypnotherapy, Winston Chruchill
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FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

July 9th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Well, one of the four basic things that you and I have in common and that you and I absolutely need are: air, water, food and we also need emotional stability.
Emotional stability we can talk about for a long, long time. So today let’s talk about food!
I love food – ain’t food great! I also have a really great relationship with food, and with my body, maintaining a stable happy weight for me for nearly thirty years.

HOW IS THE PROPENSITY TO EATING ‘BAD’ FOOD PSYCHOLOGICAL?
We can go to the gym, we sweat, we’re full on motivated during our workout, determined to burn off some the fat. Then, after all this effort and feeling virtuous, we head home and eat every biscuit in sight! Reward! Biscuits were a reward for many of us in childhood!
We are worried, stressed or upset so we grab several bars of chocolate. We do this because when we were a child and fretful we were likely to be comforted by our parents with something sweet. We believe sweet stuff gives us comfort!
Neuro science tells us that our brains are genetically hard wired to seek emotional security, particularly from affection. As very young infants, one of the important times, for some of us, that we received affection or closeness was when our mother, or father, grandparent held us close and fed us. So, for some, our minds will carry the connection between food and affection or love. Emotional stability!
Our minds and brains store our perceptions and our responses, and so we learn from those early years to associate reward and comfort and emotional closeness with these types of food. These early life patterns of behaviour prevail.
Because of this, it takes psychological and emotional effort to defy our fat and sugar cravings.
As we are growing up through childhood, teens and into adulthood, and we are dealing with worries and problems we discover that fatty foods have a heavy quality to them, after eating these types of foods we feel sluggish and drowsy for a while, and we stop thinking. When we stop thinking we stop worrying and stressing. As a result we learn to believe that fatty foods will ease our worries!
CAN OTHER FACTORS COME INTO IT AS WELL?
Fat has more than twice the calories than any other nutrient. Calories are units of energy, and nature does not like skinny, nature sees fat as a friend!
Why?
If we briefly consider our history; several million years ago we humans had small brains, about the size of a chimpanzees. As we developed our skills our brains grew, and our stomachs shrank, but we still needed los of energy (calories) to run, we were hunters. Where did we get our energy to run? From fat.
Research has shown us that Aboriginal hunters eat the fat from the kill first. In our modern society we no longer need to run to live and survive, but nature is still keen on fat.
We can also consider that so many of us can feel stressed in our modern fast paced lives.
Fatty foods stimulate dopamine and nor-adrenalin, this chemical cocktail gives us the feeling of a ‘happy rush’, and we use this feeling as an unsuccessful attempt to resolve our stress.
Now we can find ourselves in a vicious cycle, the greater amounts of fat we eat the more our brain will produce a protein called galanin. What happens next? We’ve really got a problem, because galanin cause us to crave fat.
Sugar increases tryptophan which our body uses to make serotonin. Serotonin is the wonderful chemical which assists us to feel (temporarily!) in an ‘up’ state, more able to cope with stress and unhappiness.
Also, when we are experiencing long periods of stress in life we are producing a massive amount of unused adrenaline; we can then go into adrenal fatigue. This fatigue causes a sugar craving.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THIS?
We can realise what a fantastic job our ancient ancestors did for us, they got the energy they needed from fats, they ran, they survived. We are here today because of it, how great is that.
We can understand that the sculptor of our brain and mind is our environment. Our brain and mind depend critically on their wiring and growth from our experiences in our earlier life. The great news is, our brain and mind have the remarkable ability to adapt and to rewire.
How do we do this?
We can know that the fundamental truth about stress is that it comes from our personal perceptions, and our internal communication about an event or situation and our experience. We can choose to change both our perceptions and our internal communication.
I’ll give you a very simple example of what I’m talking about.
Our partner is late getting home. We can have a myriad of perceptions such as:
They are working hard and being really conscientious and loyal to their business.
We communicate internally with a dialogue of pride and make everything cosy and welcoming for them to arrive home.
Or: They have been in an accident. Our internal communications can cripple us with horror and dread. We make images of them lying in a pool of blood. We don’t know what to do, maybe phone their work – phone the hospitals.
Or: They are having an affair. Our internal communication makes those sexy images; we are frozen with fury, or slumped with loss and abandonment.

TIPS TO STOP WORRYING OR STRESSING:
• First we need to really consider and accept that the ‘happy rush’ we’ve been getting from these ‘bad’ foods is temporary and will never resolve our problems. Next:
• Make a decision to change your perceptions, the ones that are not serving you or celebrating your life.
• Start by slowing time in your mind just a little, you can do this by simply telling yourself: Slow down. This is so that you can observe your own unconscious perceptions of any situation that has been worrying or stressing you. Just be observant to begin with.
• Have a note book and write down a list of your worries or stresses. This is relevent because we can often begin to feel overwhelmed by worry, as if we have thousands of worries. Once we begin to separate them out, we usually discover we have only three or six or seven.
• If you have more than one worry, take each at a time separately and begin to objectively ask: what can I do about this ‘one’? And when you go to bed at night ask your dreams to comfortably give you solutions to this ‘one’. One of the main purposes of our dreams is to give us solutions that we have not even thought of before.
My dream is that we will all live happily in our own skin. And I know we can! Let’s get on with it hey. If you know someone who is struggling in their relationship with food please, please tell them about my course/treatment on CD’s and MP 3 download: Don’t Wait to Be the Right Weight
I never once use the word ‘diet’ on my course. I hope I have illustrated today why diets do not work!
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: Food, happy, Hypnotherapy, lose weight, Rapha Hypnosis
Posted in Hypnotherapy, Rapha Hypnosis | 1 Comment »

OF COURSE!

July 6th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

What you don’t want is ‘symptom replacement’.

Woke up this morning wondering, what I would be talking with you about today! Because, waking up is ‘of course’ the time, or one of the times, for us all to be inspired. As we are waking from sleep our conscious mind is still in touch with the wisdom of our unconscious mind.
Our unconscious, working for us through the night, giving us our dreams, our own kind of alchemy, working for us to assist us in discovering solutions to change our problems into ‘gold’ – and also giving us all gems of ideas…….
And, Bingo! This morning – as I was waking, I knew what to talk with you about today…..my courses! Of course!
For years and years I was Working to put my courses together, to get them right, to ensure that they will make profound shifts needed for individuals to move out of a problem state, which cause great effort and hardship, and into a Goal state – of peace, happiness, strength….. inner stability and inner certainty.
By the year 2000, when we were working and living in Singapore – my courses finally began to come together.
Writing them, I entered a world rigourous in linguistic discipline, because the Work in my courses needs to speak with you as an individual.
Needs to speak with the uniqueness and individuality of thousands – a million people.
The Work in my courses needs to ‘build a bridge’ for you to enter ‘with one foot’ your problem ‘world’ – to discover your own unique solutions and resolutions and then to move fully and finally out of your problem ‘world’ and into your goal ‘world’ of permanent successful results.
Also I entered a world rigorous in linguistic discipline because, strange as it may seem, the innovations* of my language in my courses do not attempt to lead or mislead you away from your own information. Also, that no solution from me is imported, but there is clean elegant guidance for you to find your own solutions. And it ensures that there is no interpretation of symptoms or why they existed.
And I also entered a world rigorous in linguistic discipline to absolutely ensure that in my courses there would be no suggestion to remove a symptom.
Why would I ensure my courses would never suggest symptom removal?
That’s the whole idea right?
Wrong!
Because simplistically, when we remove the symptom through suggestion, 99% of the time we will experience a symptom replacement!
* Meaning: the act or process of inventing or introducing something that does not belong to your inner ‘world’.
Let us consider a simple example of what I mean by symptom replacement.
I have heard, what I’m about to illustrate, from so called therapists with audio CD’s available, over and over and over – and it makes me fume!
Let’s take an over weight symptom for example:
The therapist states in a low monotonous voice:
“You will relax… you are so relaxed ……you will eat less and less…..you will feel comfortable…. you will lose weight”………… This mumbo jumbo is suggesting removal of the symptom, basically over eating.
Only a very small percentage of people who over eat who are doing this by pure habit. The larger percentage of over weight people have eating difficulties which are driven by an unconscious problem.
The problem is individual but generally speaking will be something like: feeling ‘Empty’ – feeling lonely – feeling useless – feeling a failure – feeling unacceptable….. needing ‘comfort’…… we could go on and on………
A therapist saying: “Relax; stop eating so much…….” is focused on removing the symptom – not resolving the problem.
The problem – feeling ‘Empty’ – lonely – useless – a failure – unaccepted……….. needs resolution.
If this kind of suggestion does remove the symptom of over eating – because the problem is still there – the problem will replace the old symptom of over eating with a new one, let’s say – anger, nervousness, anxiety….
The problem is saying: Attend to ‘me’ resolve my emptiness, my feeling lonely, my feeling useless, my feeling a failure…….
So that is just one of the reasons why my courses are different, requiring your time and effort, 30 minutes a day for 40 days – because they bring about the permanent resolution of your problem.
We offer a money back guarantee!
Do have a look at more information why my courses are 30 minutes a day for 40 days – it’s a great consideration that the mind can bring about permanent resolution in 40 days……..
Thinking of you warmly

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Sally

please contact me in confidence - Sally@sally-stubbs.com

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EPISTEMOLOGICAL EXERCISE?

July 3rd, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Hi Everyone
As our Dear David Groves used to say after every lecture and as we filed out the class room – to go get our coffee and cakes!!: “Metaphors Be with You…..” in his best Star Trekky voice!!!
I ‘took’ to David’s Work like the proverbial ‘Duck to water’ – which I can verify as each spring time, this year, every year, that we’ve been lucky to live by ‘our’ river, we watch, with soppy type sentimental grins on our faces, the teeny weeny fluffy baby ducklings take to the water of the River Greta flowing merrily past our back door.
I mean we’ve heard a rumour that Greta is one of the fastest flowing rivers in the UK – some may dispute the rumour! But hey, the water is fast and there are these little groups of minute ducklings confidently making their way in the full force……. Awesome!
It was, is, like that for me with Metaphors and David’s genius Work. Awesome!
Sometimes our conscious mind wants to make sense of the Epistemological Metaphors.
So let’s just remember for a few moments Stella. She did not say she wanted her skin to be clear of Psoriasis – (which did happen within a few weeks of her Work with me….) she said she wanted to stop feeling almost utterly helpless and she wanted to feel strong.
Epistemology did this for her! This is what is awesome for us to reflect upon. We as unique individuals know how we know the truth of our own thoughts and feelings of an experience, and therefore we as individuals know how to discover the solutions and resolutions to our psychological and emotional problems.
Epistemology is the branch of philosophy that serves to answer the question: How do you know what you know?
I asked Stella: “And when you don’t feel strong and you feel almost utterly helpless, how do you know you don’t feel strong and you feel almost utterly helpless?
Stella’s unique knowing was like a heavy feeling in the whole of her chest, and from her knowing, with clean language, we developed the metaphor of a bee, and her 13 year old self, trapped in a heavy metal cage, from which there was a glimpse of some lovely hills in the distance.
Let’s just briefly consider the wonder of Stella’s Epistemological Metaphors.
The ‘bee’ showed her the way to her freedom to – BE – herself, to ‘move on and journey’ through her life to BE – OK – to know where to go, with strength and loveliness to ‘weather the storms’ (the lovely hills!) Awesome isn’t it!!!
My audio treatments/courses Work with generalised metaphors – in such a way as every unique individual mind will respond with the metaphors of the stories that I’ve written and recorded for you, in the right way for each persons needs. And that’s awesome too!!!
Here is something that you can do to gain your own WOW moments of how you know what you know, safely.
Ask the Epistemological question!!
Don’t ask the Epistemological question of your own needs, for now; ask the question of a few friends or family. Make it a simple question, your friend or family member will feel comfortable I promise.
Ask of four different people: (start with the word And*, only if YOU feel comfortable): “And, when you feel unhappy, how do you know that you feel unhappy?”
If you feel that asking this particular question is too invasive of your friends privacy – then simply, instead of asking: How do you know that you feel UNHAPPY – Ask: “How do you know that you feel HAPPY when you feel HAPPY?”
You will receive as many entirely different answers as the entirely different number of people you ask the question…..
And this is why Therapy cannot have suppositions, presuppositions, analysis and so on……….. about any individual’s problem.

• *“And” is a Clean Language conduit. It provides a natural bridge between the question and where the person’s information is sourced.
• “And” also allows two experiences to co-exist. (e.g. I loved my mum AND I hated the way she … )
Oh and please do let me know what you think about our new site www.rapha-hypnosis.com you will be most welcomed. Thank you

Thinking of you warmly
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Tags: audio treatments, epistemological, happy, Rapha Hypnosis, unique
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THE GREATEST COMEDIAN OF HIS ERA?

June 27th, 2012

Sally

Sometimes I really enjoy having a good laugh by re running a sketch or two, of Bill Hicks in my minds eye.
Bill was a comedian who you’ll either love or find him shocking. I’m in the first group!!
Anyway there’s this sketch of Bill’s where Bill is being God, and God has just realised that when He created Earth he forgot that He’d left behind Marijuana!
God, played by Bill, scratching in head, stroking his beard, is looking down on Earth at the Marijuana declaring, at His ‘mistake’: “Oh My Me!!!!….” Love it!!!! (The sketch you understand….)
Well, as I was happily re running this particular sketch in my mind, I had this awesome thought!:
Everyone, who I can think of, who has come to me to Work 1: 1 – will have been searching for their ‘lost’ ‘Me’ (Please excuse my semantics. Thanks)
I won’t make a whole list of hundred and hundreds of the amazing people who have brought their problems and symptoms to me, and who have actually honoured me in allowing me to assist them to Resolve their problem.
But, we can just consider a few of the people, who I have mentioned in the past weeks. Laura who lost her voice and lost her hair – was actually searching for her ‘lost Me’ – Stella, Bernice – the same – all had ‘lost’ their sense of their ‘Intended Me’
If you have any questions about this, or actually about anything else, please do email me. sally@sally-stubbs.com
This is my private email address and is therefore confidential. If I ever want to share anything that is said to me I will always ask permission first. And, most importantly, if the answer is: ‘“No” I do not want to share’ – then any ones’ “No” is totally honoured…..
Choosing to Work with me on one of my Audio Treatment Courses – you will discover that you are safely and comfortably searching to find an aspect of your Me, ‘who’ got ‘lost’ and ‘stuck’ along the way of your life’s journey.
Examples would be:
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who used to be able to naturally say “No” to certain foods and amounts of food……
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who could confidently do most anything….
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who who used to be able to be certain and strong no matter the situation…….
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who who used to be able to sleep safely and comfortably…….
And so on……….
My Audio Treatment Courses assist the ‘finding’ and the ‘freeing’ of the ‘lost’ Me – who can do pretty much anything that you choose.
I think to stay off my ‘soap box’ here!! About a very well know UK Hypnotherapist who recently emailed us with a video of EFT – Emotional Freedom Therapy – Tapping.
A young man phobic of travelling: Tapping happened, the young man said he felt better – but his words were not congruent with the look in his eyes.
Aspects of our ‘lost’ Me is Emotional and Psychological, our mind needs to know we have ‘found’ and ‘freed’ our ‘lost’ Me…… Tapping will never, ever achieve this long term……. But, I won’t go there today!
Today I said I would talk with you more about “Why?” questions, which I am about to do.
First, I just want to tell you about a young man, he emailed me a few days ago and asked me a Great question.
He asked me if one had to know what the “T Minus One” issue was in life to be able to Work successfully with my Audio Treatment Courses.
The answer is emphatically: – No you don’t!
It is a bit like this, as a metaphor:
Let’s imagine a kid has got lost. We go searching for the lost kid and we find them, hiding under the bed, or hiding in the garden. We would probably want to ask: “What happened? What happened that you made you go hiding and got you lost?”
But with my Audio Treatment Courses we do not have to ask this “What happened?” question. We find the kid and we rejoice and we say something like Thank Goodness……you are ‘found’ and you are safe to come home…….
We do not need to know what happened…..
And basically the “Why?” questions are attempting to go to the: What happened? We don’t always know what happened; we certainly don’t have to know the answer to cure a problem.
The finding and freeing of the aspect of our ‘lost’ Me is the huge part of Cure.
The next part of the Cure is that our conscious self learns from – is educated by – the ‘lost’ aspect of our Me to say “No!” – To be confident no matter what –To know the ability to be certain and strong…… and so on………
We can talk loads more about the “Why?” questions another time…….
More details about my therapy techniques here
Thinking of you warmly
Sally