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Make 2016 The Year For You!

April 12th, 2016

free mojoWould you like to be happier in 2016?
Wikipedia quotes: “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”
Could our Happiness possibly be about choice? Of course, because it really is up to us to be happy:)

I believe we do have the choice. I promise you from my ‘Heart’ – although being outstandingly happy 24/7 would be ludicrous – because we do have the challenges, the uncertainties and absolutely we do have the sadness. Yet: we can learn to give straight, focused time to the challenges and the uncertainties and we can accept that it is healthy for our ‘Heart’ to feel sadness.
If we can consider briefly for a few moments – when we were babies and when we were young children – as long as we were well, warm, fed – physically comfortable And we were experiencing emotional stability, we were in a state of mental & emotional contentment – which, when we saw, heard, smelt, tasted, touched on something exciting, beautiful, intriguing, contentment could range to joy.

When we were ‘at one with our world’ and ‘our world was at one with us’ we were content…………..
Today we were going to explore – the ‘how’ to solve, resolve and ‘heal’ our ‘inner’ objections to our Happiness.

I think we need a couple more things in place before we take this step.
I’ll talk about these couple of ‘steps’ in a moment, because resolving our ‘objections’ to Happiness does take effort.

Enjoyable effort actually, because the effort has immeasurable rewards for our life – the reward being that life can be experienced as a stable inner sense of contentment – no matter the challenges and bewilderments in life.

Just to recap:
When you are answering the questions: And when I am happy – how do I know that I am happy? – and you then choose to answer the question through your own knowing – of some past experience – your thoughts and your feelings You then also ‘note’ the inner objections, such as: ‘Yeah but I’m so worrying about…’ ‘Yeah but I’m really stressing about….’  ‘Yeah but – I can’t say “No”…’ ‘Yeah but I can’t sleep…….’
Our inner objections to our Happiness are valid.

Each objection needs our careful attention – to solve resolve, and heal correctly – and permanently.
So before we explore the ‘how’ to do this – let’s spend another week – for a few minutes a day ‘firming up’ our inner ability and resourcefulness to access our thoughts and feelings of Happiness.

Ideally we would do this – access inner happiness for twenty minutes every hour & a half!

If you are the type of person who likes facts go look up my teacher Dr Ernest Rossi on google – Ultradian Rhythms. Natural rhythms in our amazing brain – every hour & a half throughout the 24 hours our brain wants and needs to rest, totally in a state of contentment for 20 minutes. None of us will take this amount of time in our – oh so busy schedules – to rest & feel content within our self – leaving the world to ‘grind on’ with its problems! You can choose to do the 20 minutes Ultradian rest once a day?

Here’s a link for you to my course which need to use for only half an hour a day to make your life happier.
Enjoy:) Enhance Your Happiness

And the other ‘step’ for you this week:

Explore your own beliefs – you can choose to feel happy – it is a choice!

The only times happiness is not a choice are:
1) When our inner objections are not resolved with the right attention.
2) When we are literally in physical danger, when we have to ‘run like mad, or fight’.
3) When we are genuinely grieving the loss of a loved one

Wishing you enjoyment on your ‘steps’ towards your Happiness.
warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.

www.sally-stubbs.com

Finding Your ‘Mojo’

March 14th, 2016
Sally

Sally

When we have our MoJo’ with us we can feel we have a connection with an innate kind of ‘magic’ within us.

Children have it! Just watch them play:)

As long as we, as children are fed, comfortable, safe and emotionally secure we are ‘magical’ and creative – we explore the immeasurable potential of our consciousness.

We have a healthy flow between our conscious and unconscious ‘worlds’.

A child who is comfortable, safe and emotionally secure will create a palace from stones in the garden, a space station from a cardboard box!

Let us consider, first things first: Finding your MoJo?

What do we mean by ‘Your MoJo’?

Your Identity? – Your Uniqueness? – Your Self?

Call it what you will – ‘Your MoJo’ or, as a Client recently excitedly said to me: “My Magic Wand”- and another Client beautifully said: “My Intended Being.”

Use whatever name/metaphor ‘sits’ and resonates with You. I will call it MoJo in this article.

Here’s what having your ‘MoJo’ present and available to you will be like, so, please read these next sentences slowly – and the ‘key’ for you beginning to find your ‘MoJo’ will be how you respond to these sentences, in your thoughts and feelings:

Do what you want:  Anything good is achievable:  Achieve abundance and manifest happiness in your life:  Celebrate life. Start being honest with yourself:

Stop talking about other people! 

On first reading we’ll probably think: ‘Absolutely I will!’

On second or third – slow – deliberate reading – we’ll likely notice the objections coming up – as thoughts, such as: “I’m not good enough!” “I’ve tried and failed already” “Nothing works out for me!” I can’t!

These negative internal voices are one of the most important ways that we ‘lose touch’ with our ‘MoJo’.

Our ‘MoJo’ gets buried under the ‘objecting’ inner chatter in our minds.

Most of us do it!

In fact around 99% of us!!

And some of this ‘objecting’ blocking our way to happiness and celebration of our life is unconscious – we often don’t even ‘hear’ the continuous chatter – although for sure we feel the result.

We feel it in our body the churning stomach, the heaviness and tightness in our chest, pounding in our heart, a lump in our throat – and suddenly we are ‘blocked’ we are ‘stuck’ in fear. We don’t speak up, we don’t go and talk to the lovely person at a party, we don’t apply for the great job. We don’t explore, we lose our curiosity we are ‘blocked’ by fear. Our ‘MoJo’ is half ‘buried’ under the negative inner mind chatter, which plays on and on and on, bullying us.

Let’s think for a moment how we feel when we are bullied? Bullied by ‘big people’ – parents, (mostly bullying parents have good intention for us) at school maybe, – peers – people on trains and planes, people in the street! When we are not in a position to ‘stand our ground’ and retaliate, we feel ‘crushed’ – hurt, in ‘pain’ – it’s awful.

Similarly our relentless inner bullying voices ‘crush’ our self!

Polishing Our Mojo!

Do what you want, anything good is achievable, achieve abundance and manifest happiness in your life. Celebrate life. Start being honest with yourself. Stop talking about other people! 

How do we begin to achieve this state of happiness within our selves – and with others?

We begin by permanently silencing the relentless inner negative mind chatter! This is one of the most empowering things we need to do for our self. Our ‘MoJo’ will begin to become fully present, we will not become obnoxious! and we will also be safe.

There is some Great research: young children who are emotionally safe and secure are not obnoxious! They share, they are kind and generous in a healthy way.

Further important research: Positive affirmations, positive thinking, positive suggestions, relaxations, deep breathing exercises do not authentically and lastingly resolve and stop the negative inner mind chatter.

If we think of the negative inner mind chatter as being like horrid damp patches on the inside walls of our home, all the above strategies are just painting over the damp. It will feel good, refreshed and comfortable – for a few hours! Then a friend comes along and says: “Hey let’s go and do this….” And up comes the ‘damp’ – the “I can’t” “I’m not good enough” “I’m too nervous, scared……”

Thoroughly fixing the ‘damp’ takes some time – time that will be oh so rewarding and self-empowering. It’s like we need to take a journey to trace the ‘damp’ – ladders out, get onto the roof, find the broken roof tiles and remove and replace them! The new replaced tiles will last a century!

To make this an easy, enjoyable journey for you I have made these short videos – with my ‘Top Tools’ for you to find and free your ‘MoJo’ empower your self and truly achieve and manifest happiness in your life.

My top tips videos are all on youtube –  here is the link:

Warmest wishes

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

Self Kindness – Self Respect – Self Compassion

December 3rd, 2015

Sally Stubbs

Hi There
Here is Episode 4 My video on ‘Self Kindness’.
Some call it Self Compassion – Self Worth – Self Respect – there are many terms for this most important self helping ‘exercise’.

If you know me, you will know that my Dad is my Greatest hero.

His Legacy is that of The Gentle Man.
He is as strong as he is tender.
He loves with a Fierce wisdom, me, my wonderful brother, our Mum and all his family.
But, (Yeah the dreaded ‘But’…) he was never truly fully happy!
He was wounded on the Normandy beach on D Day Landings. Not by guns and artillery.
No!
He was ‘Wounded’ by his own belief that he was a failure.
He had failed to save the lives of so many on that beach in France. It was his fault!
No amount of logic would ever free and heal him of his understanding of his guilt and shame.
Did it adversely affect his life?

Yes!
He lived a wise and gentle life for all those around him. He was not gentle with his ‘wounded’ self.
Have you and I experienced anything as unbelievably Traumatic as the D Day Landings?
Probably not. Though I always, always say that Trauma is not about mathematics! You and I can be lastingly ‘wounded’ by the awful glares from the eyes of an important person in our life.
The day before my Dad died, I held his hand and I asked: “What’s up Dad?” I reeled at his reply!
He answered: “Sweet heart, I have got a bad heart”.
What! My Dad has thee best, gentlest, kind heart that I have ever, ever met. Nothing ‘bad’ about his heart.
Did his heart become unwell because he ‘beat his heart up’ every day after D Day?
I will say: Yes it did!
How can I say this?
Well, one thing we now know is that when we live our life in a chronic state of fear, (fear states are triggered by guilt, shame, feeling a failure, anxiety, stressing worrying and so on….) we are automatically producing a number of ‘fear’ related neuro transmitters and hormones into our body, including Cortisol. Cortisol can act to break down lean tissue to release sugar and fat into our system.
These next few lines I have written before, they are truly worth another read even if you have maybe already read them!
Consider one of many reasons: Kindness that we give to others and receive from others AND Kindness that we give to ourselves greatly assists the production of the Amazing: Oxytoxin!
What does this amazing Neuro transmitter do for us?
Loads of Great things!
It aids in the healing of wounds, through its anti-inflammatory properties.
It aids in keeping our cardio vascular system healthy, as basically it binds onto cell receptor sites throughout our entire cardio vascular system – reducing inflammation.
It reduces Cortisol in our body – Whoopee!

We could talk loads more about Oxytoxin!

So:
here is one of the ‘side effects’ of prescribing self-kindness: the release of the Amazing Oxytoxin, which helps prevent us from getting sick!
These ideas that we are exploring together, and thankfully we have a great growing body of research, about self – kindness, do go ‘hand in hand’ with my ‘Seven Golden Keys’ to deconstructing thoroughly our negative, destructive, inner mind dialogues.

Do go and have a look and use these brilliant ‘Golden Keys’

You see, the Big Deal with these Golden Keys’, is that the ‘Key’ of all ‘Keys’ – is how we can negotiate elegantly and authentically, (what every other well-meaning Therapy misses out on – to ‘our peril’) – with the negative inner mind dialogues which originally came from our self as a protection mechanism, a mechanism to ‘keep us safe’. This part of our self – needs to be heard, and deserves to be heard – and negotiated with carefully before this protective part of our self, will ‘give up’ it’s protective dialogues.

So please take the time to view my short video in the Series on Self Compassion.

Plus: always worth us pondering upon for a few moments:

“Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild precious life?”

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure
“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

www.sally-stubbs.com

It Really Is SO Important to Apply Large Doses of ‘Self Kindness’

November 26th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hi

I reckon that I was ready to be an Outstandingly Brilliant Psychotherapist by the age of around 10!!
Why?
OK:  I will share this with you, however, please be careful with me because I am speaking truly from the depths of my Heart.

My Dad is one of my Greatest heroes, he is a gentle man, he is filled with strength and wisdom.
SO – when I was aged around 10 years old – what I thought was his absolutely ‘NUTS’ behaviour, absolutely ‘NUTS’ – he would regular beat his hand upon his chest declaring:
“Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa” (Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault)

I don’t think he ever accepted the truth – that the deaths of all those young men on The D Day Normandy Beach was not his fault.

Yes PTSD did exist after WW II (and before) we just hadn’t invented the term back then!

Yeah, by the age of 10 I was ‘stealing’ books from the library to try and learn about all this Crazy Stuff – called guilt, shame, failure……… (I did take all the books back to the library!! I had to ‘steal’ these books as the librarians said I was too young to borrow them!!)

All this is touching upon the question I raise here in my short video clip for you: Who is our self who needs our own kindness?

The brief answer is: The part or fragment of our self who has felt and been hurt, pained or wounded.
It is the wounded part of our self who feels nervous, stressed, anxious, a failure, the shame and the guilt, the not able to say “No!”.
All you need to do to begin to bring some peace and harmony within yourself is to be kind to your own wounded self.

And to continue the healing process for your ‘wounded’ self – just go and begin one of my half an hour a day for forty days – RAPHA Therapy courses. There will be one that will work successfully for what you need so you will be happy in your skin, free to be the self you’re born to be.

Oh and once again, well worth repeating, this superb question from an author whose name, I’m sorry I did not note:
“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”

Wishing you the freedom to be your own self’s Kind friend to celebrate your life.

Sally

Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”

― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

 

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

Start Your New Year’s Resolution in November – A Novel Idea?

November 19th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Fix Your Mind Mess Now!

OK – sit right back down in your seat & “Strap In” for ‘the most exhilarating ride’ of your life!
How about you will be able to Authentically Achieve your New Year’s Resolution – to FIX permanently whatever ‘Mind Mess’ you want – in the next 40 days!

A MERE half an hour a day with me – right beside you.

Start now and achieve your resolution so you enter 2016 ready to ‘hit the ground running’!

I’ve made a short video explaining the concept . please check it out.

Achieve  your Mission for the brand New Year – begin now. How Novel is that!

No longer be amongst the 78% of us who give up after around three weeks – and the New Year’s Resolution – hits the ‘dust’ and squirms around to then sink away, a woeful memory of what might have been.
And we tell our self: “I knew it!! I was right I knew I’d probably fail – again – and again!!” Not exactly uplifting for us to be right – again – about a failure!!
I do know one thing about you!
I do know that there is something you want – which will Resolve some ‘ground hog day’ horrid ‘Mind Mess’ for you – and privately to your self, probably heart ache as well.
I’ll be straight & honest with you here – you do need to Resolve some mind mess – permanently.

What is it? What is your ‘Mind Mess’?

Are you prone to stressing & worrying – that debilitating of your precious life’s energy, on and on mind rigmarole?
Do you want and maybe even need to lose some weight – and reside happy in your amazing body?
Are you fearful and nervous in certain situations – and want to be strong, resourceful and certain of your self?
Do you want peaceful, re-energizing healthy sleep – wake up fresh optimistic & feeling (and looking!!) ‘10 years’ younger?
Do you want fabulous relationships – and end that awful agony of agitation, maybe no longer feel like a ‘door mat’?
What is it that you want?
Whatever it is – go and look for one of my MERE half an hour a day for 40 days – RAPHA Therapy courses. They are learning ‘courses!’
They effortlessly teach the depths of your Unconscious mind to learn a New & Wonderful way of being.
Problem Free – Free of the Mind Mess.
I am there with you supporting you all the way – I am your outstandingly brilliant Coach guiding you to have fabulous accountability to the most important person in your life – your amazing self.
Maybe just quickly read / watch just a few of  the inspiring testimonials on my web site, how effective and successful my courses have been for others.

And as Gary Hogg says: “It’s a Fun journey. Sally does as much as I do!”

“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”

Well, first step, Resolve your own ‘mind mess’ now – and plan a really happy, REALLY happy, problem free – Resolution achieved New Year – before those clocks strike mid-night!!
And, as for doing something NOVEL. Just go check out Neuro Genesis – meaning you grow your own brain – Yep, you grow brand new neurons filled with resourcefulness and optimism.
NOVELTY, experienced in a positive productive way is one of the main ‘ingredients’ for us to grow a brand new brain.
If you’ve a mind to go and read: “The Psychobiology of Gene Expression: Neuroscience & Neurogenesis in Hypnosis andthe Healing Arts”
Written by the consummate Dr Ernest Rossi, who I have been fortunate to study under for many years. I bought this book back in 2002 and I still refer to it regularly!
My short video about starting your New Year’s Resolution in November is here.

Wishing you the freedom to be your self’ and celebrate your life.

Sally
Sally Stubbs

Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com 

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

www.sally-stubbs.com

Try this technique for being – Kind to your Self?

October 19th, 2015

Hi Everyone,

I have just spent a week sailing the wild, wondrous West Coast of Scotland.

A week at sea, out in the elements – wind and tides (and ‘rare’ occasional sun, so sometimes the weather was ‘kind’ to us!!) – But mostly I was wearing about seven layers of clothing!

It was a completely challenging trip! The wind just kept on changing (it’s mind!!) direction – so what the heck!!!, as novice crew – my mind whirled, ‘Yikes, which rope, sheet, halyard gets attention now!!??’

Hey, how about you take a moment or two to think about something you’ve experienced recently that was fun & also Challenging!

You can watch the ‘Second Episode of Self Kindness’ here.

Take a moment to reflect – how was your own self kindness during your Challenging experience? Maybe, have a ‘listen’ back to your –perhaps unheard at the time – self dialogues? I bet you were quite grim with yourself?

Sailing, I could have given myself quite a grim time – I could have been quite obnoxiously self-critical, (I think you know how that goes?) as I am not exactly competent crew!
But what would be the point of that?

We do not become more competent by giving ourselves a grim time! When we criticise our self we are threatening our self! We automatically trigger the ‘fear’ response in our brain! Then: Our thinking starts to shut down! (And our immune system also starts to shut down!)

You & I agree on this, right! There’s no point in giving our self a grim time!!

If, which makes perfect logical sense, we decide not to be grim with our self, not to criticise our self, we can therefore really and truly decide to be kind to our self. Right!

Why be kind to our self?

Tons of reasons actually! Which it is well worth our while to keep on exploring more together.

Consider one of many reasons: Kindness that we give to others & receive from others AND give to ourselves greatly assists the production of the Amazing: Oxytoxin!

What does this amazing Neuro transmitter do for us?
Loads of Great things! (Go look it up!)

It aids in the healing of wounds, through its anti-inflammatory properties.

It aids in keeping our cardio vascular system healthy, as basically it binds onto cell receptor sites throughout our entire cardio vascular system – reducing inflammation.

It reduces Cortisol in our body – Whoopee! We could talk loads more about Oxytoxin!

So, here is one of the ‘side effects’ of prescribing self-kindness: the release of the Amazing Oxytoxin, which helps prevent us from getting sick!

These ideas that we are exploring together, & thankfully we have a great growing body of research, about self – kindness, do go ‘hand in hand’ with my ‘7 Golden Keys’ to deconstructing thoroughly our negative, destructive, inner mind dialogues.

So do go and have a look and use these brilliant ‘7 Golden Keys

You see, the Big Deal with these: My ‘7 Golden Keys’, is that the ‘Key’ of all ‘Keys’ – is how we can negotiate elegantly and authentically,  – with the negative inner mind dialogues which originally came from our self as a protection mechanism, a mechanism to ‘keep us safe’.

This part of our self – needs to be heard and deserves to be heard – and negotiated with carefully, before this protective part of our self, will ‘give up’ it’s protective dialogues.

My second video on ‘Self Kindness’ is here,  only lasts 7 minutes 

And always worth us pondering upon for a few moments:

“Tell me, what do you plan to do with your one wild precious life?” 

Wishing you the freedom to be happy with your self and celebrate your life……………

Warmly

Sally

Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com 

Rapha Therapy –  Cures that Endure

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”

― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

 

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

Being Kind to Your Self:

September 3rd, 2015
Hunchy bunch on step

Sally Stubbs

How about trying this technique for being Kind to Your Self?

My Mum often used to say to me: “Goodness – you’re like a dog with a bone!”
I was only little, but I knew she meant –
a) She was kind of frustrated with my tenacity and proud at the same time – or
b) I don’t give up easily!!

Well: Hey: I’m not giving up on you – I urge you to explore My ‘7 Golden Keys’ – on my short easy videos – plus my number 8 video in the series summarizing my ‘Golden Keys’ for you to easily ‘unlock’ your potential and beginning to Free you from your: “I CAN’T’s!!”
Do, please go have a look here. I’ve had loads of fabulous messages saying that my ‘Golden Keys’ are
“Uplifting.”
“Inspiring.”

So let’s progress, perhaps a little deeper and higher rather than ‘forward’ to begin with – let’s explore you becoming a good friend to yourself!
You being – KIND – to yourself.

Wow – that is certainly going to make yourself feel and be freer, unhampered, less scared – and – also safe!
Safe!
This is of ‘Key’ importance!

As  you accept my ‘dog with a bone’ – urging you to explore My ‘Golden Keys’ on my short, easy, non time consuming videos – you’ll discover there are one or two – or even more of your own
“I CAN’T’s!!” – which were ‘created’ by you at some time because of experiences in your life to keep you safe!

Those “I CAN’T’s!” need a little careful time and consideration for you to change them.

So, as we proceed toward you being kind to yourself – we will be unravelling a little more of the “I CANT’s!!”
Condensed within the “I CAN’T’s!!” will be you being unkind to yourself with thoughts such as: “I’m not good enough!” “I’ll be useless!” And as a young woman said to me recently: “I so have to repeatedly justify my worth!” Yikes – poor girl, the energy she had to put into ‘justifying’ her self – no wonder she was exhausted.

Here’s  my video on you being kind to yourself – put the strategy into practice and Enjoy!

Oh and once again, well worth repeating, this superb question from an author whose name, I’m sorry, I did not note:
“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”

Wishing you the freedom to be a Kind friend to your self, and celebrate your life………

Warmly

Sally

Sally Stubbs – sally@sally-stubbs.com 
Rapha Therapy  ‘Cures that Endure’

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

www.sally-stubbs.com

SUMMARISING: THE HOW OF DECONSTRUCTING NEGATIVE INNER DIALOGUE

August 10th, 2015

So: we’re winding up and summarizing my ‘Seven Golden Keys Series’ for you to empower your self by putting an end to ‘Negative Inner Dialogues’ in my last video of this Series.

Those internal monologues which stop you from taking those steps in your life for you to feel happy, fulfilled and comfortable with your self.
Ending the rigmarole of that negative ‘ground hog day’ cycling and replacing them with positive self affirming inner dialogues – that resonate with and within you.

A Quick Summary:

• My ‘Golden Keys’ are unique – no other Therapy is using them! And, they take only minutes of your time each day.

1. You have been making a space in your mind, with my first brief exercise, so that you can begin to take charge, take control, of those negative inner dialogues that have been holding you back.

2. You have been differentiating ‘where’ those dialogues came from. Some came originally from others and some will have come from your self.

3. You have been deconstructing and energetically dismissing those that came from others.

4. Those that came from your self – originally had the intention to keep you ‘safe’.

5. You have been carefully negotiating how you can change these particular dialogues that came from your self.

6. You then made a start to replace the negative with self-validating inner dialogues.

7. And you have then been ‘making steps across the page’ to more and more positive inner dialogues.

These – my ‘7 Golden Keys’ are a life changer – they do, I promise you begin to unlock & release your potential, freeing you to be happier in your own ‘skin’.

So to conclude this particular series – on this latest video I have a few more wise ideas to share with you!

Here is something for you to consider!

Think of someone who you believe is happier more successful and fulfilled than you currently are!

Do you think they’re twice as smart as you? Do they have more years of experience than you? Do you believe they were ‘born lucky’!

Of course it depends on who exactly you are thinking about –
however – we now have plenty of great solid medical research and studies to show us – that successful people are happy or optimistic a large, – very large, percentage of their time.

So, for you to take your own steps to achieve what you want – successfully – you will learn to be happier and more optimistic with my ‘7 Golden Keys’, which will end the negative inner  mind chatter, the self-bullying, and the negative predictions, leading you towards more happiness and optimism.

All the eight videos in this Inner Dialogue Series are grouped together here in case you missed any.

The good news is, brain research has been able to prove that you have the ability to rewire your brain and bypass the self-limiting thoughts, habits, patterns and beliefs that keep you stuck.

We really want to make this journey for you to achieve what you want easy – so go and look at my Have Harmonious Relations Rapha Audio Therapy Course.

And when you purchase that course as MP3 or the 5 CD Boxed Set, we want to give you a second course on MP3 download as a gift.

Once you’ve purchased Have Harmonious Relationships – simply email us support@sally-stubbs.com let us know which course you would like as a gift on MP3 and we will get it to you.

One last thought for you:
“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”
Wishing you the freedom to be your self and celebrate your life………

Warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

HOW TO FIND YOUR ‘MOJO’ AND KEEP IT!

August 6th, 2015

sally_-_castle_arms_outWhen we have our ‘MoJo’ with us we can feel we have a connection with an innate kind of ‘magic’ within us.

Children have it!

As long as we, as children are fed, comfortable, safe and emotionally secure we are ‘magical’ and creative – we explore the immeasurable potential of our consciousness. We have a healthy flow between our conscious and unconscious ‘worlds’

A child who is comfortable, safe and emotionally secure will create a palace from stones in the garden, a space station from a cardboard box!

Let us consider, first things first: Finding your MoJo?

What do we mean by ‘Your MoJo’? Your Identity – Your Uniqueness – Your Self.

Call it what you will – ‘Your MoJo’ or, as a Client recently excitedly said to me: “My Magic Wand”- and another Client beautifully said: “My Intended Being.”

Use whatever name/metaphor ‘sits’ and resonates with You. I will call it MoJo in this article.

Here’s what having your ‘MoJo’ present and available to you will be like, so, please read these next sentences slowly – and the ‘key’ for you beginning to find your ‘MoJo’ will be how you respond to these sentences, in your thoughts and feelings:

Do what you want:  Anything good is achievable:  Achieve abundance and manifest happiness in your life:  Celebrate life. Start being honest with yourself:

Stop talking about other people! 

On first reading we’ll probably think: ‘Absolutely I will!’

On second or third – slow – deliberate reading – we’ll likely notice the objections coming up – as thoughts, such as: “I’m not good enough!” “I’ve tried and failed already” “Nothing works out for me!” I can’t!

These negative internal voices are one of the most important ways that we ‘lose touch’ with our ‘MoJo’.

Our ‘MoJo’ gets buried under the ‘objecting’ inner chatter in our minds.

Most of us do it!

In fact around 99% of us!!

And some of this ‘objecting’ blocking our way to happiness and celebration of our life is unconscious – we often don’t even ‘hear’ the continuous chatter – although for sure we feel the result.

We feel it in our body the churning stomach, the heaviness and tightness in our chest, pounding in our heart, a lump in our throat – and suddenly we are ‘blocked’ we are ‘stuck’ in fear. We don’t speak up, we don’t go and talk to the lovely person at a party, we don’t apply for the great job. We don’t explore, we lose our curiosity we are ‘blocked’ by fear. Our ‘MoJo’ is half ‘buried’ under the negative inner mind chatter, which plays on and on and on, bullying us.

Let’s think for a moment how we feel when we are bullied? Bullied by ‘big people’ – parents, (mostly bullying parents have good intention for us) at school maybe, – peers – people on trains and planes, people in the street! When we are not in a position to ‘stand our ground’ and retaliate, we feel ‘crushed’ – hurt, in ‘pain’ – it’s awful.

Similarly our relentless inner bullying voices ‘crush’ our self!

Polishing Our Mojo!

Do what you want, anything good is achievable, achieve abundance and manifest happiness in your life. Celebrate life. Start being honest with yourself. Stop talking about other people! 

How do we begin to achieve this state of happiness within our selves – and with others?

We begin by permanently silencing the relentless inner negative mind chatter! This is one of the most empowering things we need to do for our self. Our ‘MoJo’ will begin to become fully present, we will not become obnoxious! and we will also be safe.

There is some Great research: young children who are emotionally safe and secure are not obnoxious! They share, they are kind and generous in a healthy way.

Further important research: Positive affirmations, positive thinking, positive suggestions, relaxations, deep breathing exercises do not authentically and lastingly resolve and stop the negative inner mind chatter.

If we think of the negative inner mind chatter as being like horrid damp patches on the inside walls of our home, all the above strategies are just painting over the damp. It will feel good, refreshed and comfortable – for a few hours! Then a friend comes along and says: “Hey let’s go and do this….” And up comes the ‘damp’ – the “I can’t” “I’m not good enough” “I’m too nervous, scared……”

Thoroughly fixing the ‘damp’ takes some time – time that will be oh so rewarding and self-empowering. It’s like we need to take a journey to trace the ‘damp’ – ladders out, get onto the roof, find the broken roof tiles and remove and replace them! The new replaced tiles will last a century!

To make this an easy, enjoyable journey for you I have made these short videos – with my ‘Top Tools’ for you to find and free your ‘MoJo’ empower your self and truly achieve and manifest happiness in your life.

My top tips videos are all on youtube –  here is number one:

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

STRATEGY 7 – DECONSTRUCTING NEGATIVE INNER DIALOGUE

August 3rd, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Welcome
So here is my next Top Tip Video – Number Seven in this Special Series of powerful strategies to deconstruct those negative inner dialogues.
You don’t know it yet, but you are just about to make a very smart move!

Spend a few really important minutes with my: Seventh ‘Golden Key’  in my latest series of short videos to guide you in how to change, thoroughly, negative inner dialogues.

We’ve all got them – you’re not alone!

I had them! And I personally worked with these strategies that I am sharing with you to create lasting positive inner dialogues.

We don’t even consciously hear some of these negative inner dialogues – that drone on and on in our minds!

But: we do feel the result in our body – like the churning knotting up stomach, pounding heart, tightening throat … and so on.

My first five videos in this series teach you how to deconstruct the negative chatter that predicts the ‘doom and gloom’ the inner mind wailing – “I can’t!”

On Video 6 and this, the 7th in this series, I teach you how to create positive self affirming inner dialogues!

Because the mind is not a vacuum we need the replacement good, uplifting optimistic thoughts to fill the void.

I’m handing you ‘the keys’ to becoming happy and unlocking your potential.

You ready? Let’s dig in!
Please go and watch and learn from my videos – all seven in this series are here!

Plus if you follow my simple instructions, I can promise you one specific result: 

A transformation!
Please email me privately any time I love hearing from you
sally@sally-stubbs.com

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth
I say: “here, here………”

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

STRATEGY 6 in the HOW of DECONSTRUCTING NEGATIVE INNER DIALOGUE

July 27th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Welcome

So here is my next Top Tip Video – Number SIX in this Special Series of powerful strategies to deconstruct those negative inner dialogues.

Here I am again!! – I’m with you all the way particularly on his subject!

Let me repeat, again & again!!!: Truly the TOP most powerful thing you can ever do for your self – is to end the seemingly ‘endless’ negative inner chatter, inner ‘bullying’ of your self – and even the: “They are to blame!” chatter,  and free yourself to be yourself – no more lies about yourself in your head!

The lies we ‘hang onto’, often not even knowing we are telling our self lies about our self, are like a dam. Damming up our natural life force flow! Literally, physiologically!

So what I’m saying here is that a large percentage of our negative inner chatter, inner self ‘bullying’ we don’t even CONSCIOUSLY know we are doing it!

Instead of consciously hearing it, we feel the emotional fear response in our bodies – the churning, pounding, numbing, tightening, the weight pressing down…….. and so on!

We cannot, cannot ‘paper over’ these Unconscious dialogues with the – frankly stupid – positive thoughts, positive affirmations – breathing and relaxing, the work out, the going for a breath of fresh air……..

No other Therapeutic Work is achieving this. These other Therapeutic Strategies – are an unsuccessful attempt to just mask these ‘fears’ – not permanently free you from them.

Why? – Because our Unconscious mind is not Stupid! And my ‘Golden Keys’ in my previous letters and videos to you – unlock what the Unconscious Mind has been attempting to do with this ‘fear’ chatter – and that paradoxically, is to keep us safe!

My other ‘Golden Keys’ have been showing you how easy it is to ‘negotiate’ thoroughly with this ‘fear’ chattering!

So, hey you’re really Lucky to have found me!

Not long ago – a very well respected journalist declared:
“I know what you are! You are a Revolutionary!”

I can tell you I really liked that!

In this short video, number 6 in this series and my video clip number 5 – we are now into creating ‘positive’ inner dialogues – which will resonate with you and remain authentic within you.

If you have just joined me, you can view this series of  my other  ‘Golden Keys’ – which is the process that you need to Finally Resolve the ‘fear’ chatter, do please go and watch them.

They are all on our You Tube Channel: Catch them on this ‘Playlist’.

To make this whole powerful journey easy for you we are making you this Awesome offer – go and get my “Have Harmonious Relationships” Rapha Audio Therapy Course and we will gift you any other MP3 download of your choice – maybe for someone you care about.

Once you’ve downloaded my “Have Harmonious Relationships” (or get it on the boxed set of 5 CD’s), just email us at support@sally-stubbs.com with the MP3 of your choice & we will send the gift to you.

And if you’re thinking: “Sally this is a Marketing $!” You’re right! It creates a ‘Win Win’ experience – You definitely ‘Win’ – And Sally Stubbs ‘Wins’ so that we can Gift more to those in need.

Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future…………

Please email me privately with any thoughts or questions I love getting all your emails sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say “here, here …..”

 

Warmly

 Sally

Sally Stubbs

FIND YOUR MOJO – WORKSHOP MANCHESTER – 19 & 20 SEPT 2015

July 23rd, 2015

MOJO Workshop (1) jpeg         Flyer:  Find Your MoJo Workshop                                                                                                                                                                  Book here:   www.sally-stubb.com/booking

Sally & Angelena, much sought after international presenters, would like to invite you to join them on their amazing Workshop to enhance your self-worth and release your inner strengths.

“Do you ever feel you’ve lost your way? Not happy in your ‘own skin’? ‘Paddling’ through life but not really sure which direction you should be heading?
If this sounds like you then our exciting new two day ‘Find Your Mojo’ event will give you the tools you need to unleash your inner strength and resources so you will feel confident – ready to take on life’s challenges.

We will help you re-discover your true self, so that you leave feeling comfortable in your own ‘skin’ having gained hugely in your self-worth, no matter what you’re dealing with in your life.
These two Special days are for anyone of any age!”
The two day workshop will give you the time away from the everyday challenges you are facing to reflect on where you are and where you want to be. You will be comfortable in a safe, small group setting with the experienced trainers:

Sally and Angelena, guiding you to ‘Find Your Own MoJo’.
We welcome the chance to have a confidential and informal chat with you either by phone or email if you have any questions or just want to get a feel for whether this event is right for you.

FIND YOUR MOJO WORKSHOP MANCHESTER 19TH & 20TH SEPTEMBER 2015
Dates: Saturday & Sunday 19th & 20th Sept 2015
Venue: YHA Conference Suite
Potato Wharf
MANCHESTER
M3 4NB
United Kingdom
Cost: £75.00 p.p. for the two days.
9.30am to 4.30pm both days.
Bookings: www.sally-stubbs.com/booking
Enquiries: support@sally-stubbs.com
                       : bodenangelena@gmail.com
Telephone:   Sally  017687 71377
Skype:   sallystubbsltd
                                   Angelena  01684 491198

DAY ONE
FINDING, FREEING AND HEALING YOUR ‘LOST SELF’
WITH SALLY
Sally Stubbs MNCP (Snr..Accred) FACH DACH CNHC NGH has over 30 years’ experience as a presenter and consultant psychotherapist.
Sally says: “My passion over 30 years has been to rigorously research to discover the strategies which bring about, safely and comfortably, lasting and authentic changes, improving the quality of life of everyone I Work with. I have studied with the greatest teachers in my profession. I Love assisting and guiding individuals to resolution of problems and them being problem free, happy and fulfilled.”
Sally has vast experience working successfully with 1,000’s of people, from around the world.
She has brought resolution for people with a wide range of issues that they often felt they would never be able to resolve. Including: anxiety, depression, exhaustion, fears and uncertainties, and many psycho-somatic problems.
Her work and studies have enabled her to discover the strategies that bring about real and permanent change to the mind-emotional ‘states’ where people can find themselves stuck with inner conflicts. Freeing people to fully enjoy and celebrate life again.
Sally will teach you to how to identify what is holding you back, before giving you the life skills and strategies to draw on the inner resources and strengths we all have, so that you will feel able to move on and get your ‘Mojo’ back.
Her experience ensures this will be a safe and comfortable journey where people will only share what they choose to share. Or just sit quietly, listen and learn new ways of thinking and feeling.

DAY TWO
LIFE CYCLES, CRISIS AND GROWTH
WITH ANGELENA
Angelena Boden, M.Soc.Sc. Dip. Training, has over 30 years of training and workshop facilitation experience in corporate and personal development. She works with people who find themselves in conflict both with other people and with themselves.
On the second day of the Workshop Angelena will help you to understand life’s cycles of growth and change and what happens when a natural process becomes a crisis.
She will focus on the transition into full adulthood (around 30), the middle life crisis (around 40) and the ‘What Now?’ transition around 60.
Angelena will introduce some simple theories from ancient and modern psychological ideas and will work with you to help resolve personal transitions both past and current and plan for upcoming cycles in order to be better prepared, so it is suitable for any age.
Whatever stage of life we are at we will experience an internal shift as we move onto the next level. Whilst the major transitions are around 30 (career), 40 (mortality),
60 (new sense of purpose) we do in fact need to change gear every 7 years. This programme benefits everybody through a greater understanding, acquiring skills to manage these transitions and gain a deeper knowledge of self and others.
“When you plug in a lamp and switch the switch, you are certain that the light will come on! And it does.
You’ll come to realize that when you Work with the strategies that we will teach you thoroughly, during our two days together, you’ll get the results that you want. Every time!

We would love you to join us in September, we have this Vision for you: you will comfortably get the results you want – for your Success & Your Celebration of Life.

Sally & Angelena

Bookings:  www.sally-stubbs.com/booking
Enquiries: support@sally-stubbs.com

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOUR ‘SELF’!

July 20th, 2015

free mojo“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth.

We are holding an Amazing Workshop – ‘Find Your Mojo – Freeing You to be Your True Self’ – in Manchester on 19th & 20th September 2015.
The two day workshop will be co-presented by me, Sally Stubbs along with my friend and well respected colleague Angelena Boden M.Soc.Sc Pg Dip Trg.
We are keeping this group small so you will gain all that you need to be your true self:

the you who you were born to be: happy in ‘your own skin’ celebrating your life!

For two whole days we are only charging £75.00. A bargain!

Have a look at our short 3 minute video and get as excited as we are.
These two days will be a life changer!

more information is available from support@sally-stubbs.com 

Angelena & I are very kind and respectful,  between us we have 60 years of vigilant experience and study –  our workshop will enable you to enjoy “your own wild and precious life”.

I love hearing from you, please feel free to email me privately: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Wishing you inner freedom to move on into your own beautiful future……………

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy  ‘Cures that Endure’

 

Strategy 5 – Deconstructing Negative Inner Dialogue

June 25th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

So here is my next Top Tip Video – Number Five in this Special Series of powerful strategies to deconstruct those negative inner dialogues.
Here I am again!! – I don’t ever give up on you – I’m back with you for a few immeasurably valuable minutes!
Why are these minutes with me so valuable as to be beyond ‘measure’?

Yeah: truly the most powerful thing you can ever do for your self – is to end the seemingly ‘endless’ negative inner chatter, inner ‘bullying’ and free yourself to be yourself – no more lies about yourself in your head!

The lies we ‘hang onto’, often not even knowing we are telling our self lies about our self, are like a damn, damning up, our natural life force flow!

So I’ve renamed these awesome Top Tips, as Golden Keys – they’re not just bl**dy Tips – they are powerful, empowering of your self – they un-damn the damned up natural energy life force flow within you – as with the ‘turn of a Golden Key’ – Click-Unlock!

If you have not been using my first 4 Golden Keys – hey – go do it now! Free your self from the damaging negative inner chatter. I promise you won’t find these Golden Keys in any other
Therapeutic Strategies – not anywhere. You’ll be forever grateful for my ‘Golden Keys’.

My video here will explain about ‘Golden Key’ Number 5 –

Just to recap  – you’ve deliberately, through your own choice, been taking charge of your negative inner chatter – by listing ‘Where did this one come from?’

They came from one of two places: They are messages imported into your mind from ‘big people’ in your life. Or they came from your ‘self’.

Your ‘self’ in emotionally or psychologically vulnerable situations will create inner negative dialogues in an attempt to keep our self ‘safe’.

Such as my example, we say to our self: ‘I’d better keep quiet, not speak up – or they will get annoyed with me – they won’t like, they won’t accept me, they won’t love me’.

Result is that this self-imposed injunction plays on and on – deep in our minds – and we refer to our self as ‘shy’ ‘withdrawn’ ‘scared to speak up’ – ‘I have a tightening in my throat’, ‘there’s a churning in my stomach’ ‘I’m not breathing properly, my heart is pounding’.

The ‘negative inner chatter & bullying of our self’ that came from others – you’ve been recognizing as ‘their messages’ and choosing to return these messages to ‘them’.

Now you need to negotiate with the part of your self who created these negative dialogues.
Negotiation is the ‘Golden Key’ here. Imagine your ‘younger’ self who created this negative dialogue – say to this fragment or part of your self – congruently ‘I understand…….. (you were scared, frightened….)’
Work your way gently – towards being able to say: ‘It’s now safe to give this up…..’

Do go and visit the Amazing, Brilliant, Famous Dr. Tranquility – support her in her Awesome efforts to bring True Healing to all. She is also Great Fun, upbeat – and full of valuable ideas and advice for you. She always has Hope in her voice.

And Dr. Tranquility & I have an awesome package for you.

My 15 Track Audio System to Have Harmonious Relationships and Dr Tranquility’s Date Therapy Protocol– we’ve made it easy and effortless for you– and we promise you it’s a life changer.

Click this Link for a 45% Discount on this package. Scroll down to the offers.

Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future…………

I Love hearing from you:  sally@sally-stubbs.com 

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”
― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth.

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

Strategy 4 – Deconstructing Negative Inner Dialogue

June 8th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

So: here is my next Top Tip Video – Number Four in this Special Series of powerful strategies to deconstruct those negative inner dialogues.

Here I am again! – back with you for a few important, incalculably valuable minutes.

Here’s another Top Tip – for your consideration – and for you to act upon – I can honestly tell you that my Top Tips ‘Rock’!

I’ve had a ‘Scratchy’ feeling for a while now that ‘Tops Tips’ is a lame, not worthy, description for these
Strategies – because, I promise you, give them the time & they will ‘turn your life around’ in a most empowering, freeing and beautiful way for your self.

Hey! I got it! – the description – I ‘got it’ in a Trance State of course!

These empowering of you strategies are actually called ‘Golden Keys’.
They ‘unlock’ your immeasurable potential to enjoy celebrating your life – They ‘open the door to the prison’ where the constant inner negative chatter & ‘bullying’ of your self has had you confined and ‘caged’.

These ‘Golden Keys’ Free you to be your self – secure and happy in your skin. I’ve been working on them for you in such a way as they will not be time consuming.

You know – I’m quite a strange person!!!
I rigorously validate any strategy for Freedom and Healing.
And – choose to believe in a Great Mysterious Universal Intelligence.

I choose to believe in Master of Wisdom – in Angles – blimey I like to believe in Santa Claus!

What I fully believe in, is you – your Great Intelligence and Wisdom – inherent within you to Free & Heal your Self.

So; get going TODAY – here’s my video with the ‘Golden Key’ that this series of videos has been leading up to …………….

ENJOY!

These ‘Golden Keys’ to your Freedom – they are Exclusive – no other Therapy has them.

Please – go and visit the Amazing, Brilliant, Famous, Dr Tranquility – support her in her Awesome efforsts to bring True Healing to us all.

She is also Great Fun, upbeat – and full of valuable ideas and advice for you. She always has Hope in her voice.

Thank You.
www.drtranquility.com

Wishing you inner freedom to experience your own beautiful future ………………..

Please email me privately any time, I love receiving your emails. sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

Strategy 3 – Deconstructing Negative Inner Dialogue

June 3rd, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hello Again:

So here is my next Top Tip Video – Number Three in this Special Series of powerful strategies, to deconstruct those negative inner dialogues.

Many of those negative dialogues which so hold us up on our journey in life – we don’t even consciously hear!  On and On they play over and over again – ‘chattering’ within our Unconscious Mind – our self ‘Bullying’ our self!!

These dialogues can be ‘dangerous’ in that so often we don’t hear them – but we feel the fear – in our body – which is being driven by this deep inner self ‘Bullying’.

Maybe you’ll remember a truly powerful story of my own?

I met Mike back in 1992 – I fell in love. I was going to Africa to spend a couple of months in the bush with him. A dream come true for me. Not everyone’s dream perhaps!

The night before my intended flight to Cape Town I felt a churning anxiety in my stomach.

I nearly, OMG – oh so nearly cancelled the trip. BUT I had the wisdom to ‘go into trance’ and then I ‘heard’ what was driving the feeling of anxiety within me.

My Mother and my Grandmother’s injunction: “You can’t have your cake and eat it.”
This injunction had imported deep within my unconscious mind when I was a little kid.

I’m sure their intention was to protect me from disappointment!

I had had cake before I met Mike – but – hey I’d never ‘eaten’ it! How daft is that. Maybe I would never have seen Mike again if I’d cancelled?

That night I spent 15 minutes deconstructing that inner chatter and went to Africa. Had the time of my life!

And I’ve lived ever since with my best friend, ‘Soul mate’ & now husband.

Life with Mike Truly Rocks!
I often tell this story – because it is a powerful teaching tale for us all.

The most powerful thing you can achieve for your self on your quest, your journey to successfully
achieving your goal – is to deconstruct negative inner dialogue.

And this is what I’m teaching you on these short videos.

Whether you are aware of it or not – it’s there in your inner mind – playing on and on –

‘the same damn negative things over and over again…….’ This negative ‘chatter’ is creating fears – blocks to your success.

Here’s my next short video – Stage Three   the next step for you in deconstructing your negative inner ‘Bullying’ chatter. My hand is on my Heart – as I say – I really want this for you – your Freedom to be your self – celebrating your life and the lives of others.

Perhaps you remember my BIG NEWS I mentioned in my last letter to you – my live Broadcast for Dr. Tranquility, Dr Lydia Belton, Dr. Series Radio broadcast on 5th May – and it was Brilliant!
In case you didn’t catch it yet here’s the link for you – just click and enjoy.

Lydia is a veritable Power House! Please – let’s really support her in her immeasurable efforts to bring Healing to all of us who suffer with mind-body – mind emotional problems.

Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future and have a Great Harmonious Life.

I Love receiving your emails please feel free to tell me your thoughts: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly
Sally

Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

Strategy 2 – Deconstructing Negative Inner Dialogue

May 18th, 2015

inner power
Remember my BIG NEWS! – was my live Broadcast for Dr. Tranquility Dr. Series Radio broadcast on 5th May – and it was Brilliant!
Here’s the link for you – just click and enjoy

We had a phone-in during the broadcast from a lovely girl with a beautiful name – she’s called Sally!

I just have to tell you that Dr. Tranquility, she is Dr. Lydia Belton, is truly Amazing.
She is achieving so, so much in the world’s needs for Healing by bringing together, from all around the globe the Greatest Healers of our time. And – hey – guess what – I’m there with them………… Awesome.
Lydia is a veritable Power House.

She likens me to a cross between Mary Poppins & Liz Hurley! Thank You Lydia:)

And I liken Lydia to a Peregrine Falcon – powerful, streamlined and focused.

So: please support her in her Quest & Vision – which, like mine – is to bring healing to wherever it is needed – click the link.  Thank You.

Once you’ve enjoyed listening to Dr Lydia & I – here for you is my next video Top Tip.

Strategy 2 in Deconstructing Negative Inner Dialogue.
The most powerful thing that you can achieve for your self on your quest, your journey to successfully achieving your goal – is to deconstruct negative inner dialogue. And this is what I’m teaching you on these short videos.

Whether you are aware of it or not – it’s there in your inner mind – playing on and on – the same damn negative thoughts over and over again thus creating blocks to your success.

You cannot override this negative dialogue – (such as the “I can’t,- nothing will work for me – I’m a failure…..”) with positive thinking and positive affirmations. Those behaviours or strategies just ‘paper over the cracks’ – the cracks are still there and will ‘show up’ sooner or later. And your goal will still be on the horizon.

Wishing  you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future and have a Great Harmonious Life.

Please email me privately I’d love to hear from you sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly

Sally

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

How to Deconstruct Negative Dialogue

May 5th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Top Tips & Tasty Bites!

So back with a Top Tip as promised for you to act upon – I can honestly tell you that my Top Tips ‘Rock’!
I’ve been working on them for you in such a way as they will not be time consuming.
Such as my first one in this my new Series of ‘Quick Tasty Bites’ videos

– which was about you Dreaming Well.
We’re all of us Dreaming – even those of us who, sadly, suffer with Insomnia – we still Dream.
So: we may as well Direct our Unconscious mind into the Wisdom we have within – to discover Solutions and Resolutions to our mind-emotional problems as we Dream.
It’s here if you missed it.

In this next video (Top Tip 2) I explain as briefly and succinctly as I can how you will begin to stop and to
change your internal negative dialogue.
Why?
Because a large part of any mind-emotional problem we’re having to deal with – often day in and day out, like that phrase I’m really keen on: “The emotional ground hog day!” – is being ‘driven’ on and on by our negative internal dialogue.

For us to learn how to stop it and change is a game changer – its life changing!

That old negative internal dialogue does come from what we’ve learnt and what we’ve experienced – stuff that ‘stinks’!
It’s telling us that ‘the world is so and so….’
And it’s telling us ‘I, in the world am so and so……or such and such……’ (bad: useless: a failure: not heard: frightened: anxious……)
This negative internal dialogue plays on and on relentlessly, sometimes we don’t even ‘hear’ it. It’s telling us about our ontology – meaning our “I am- ness” – who/what I AM!
Whatever our internal negative dialogue is ‘saying’ it is not the truth!

Are you thinking of arguing with me!!??
Honestly, if you ‘drill down’ you’ll discover this ‘stinky’ inner dialogue is not the Truth.

A little bit like this: I Sally, failed lots of exams at school!

Inner dialogue expands on this with: Sally you’re useless at learning!
Sally, you’ll never make anything of yourself! Sally you are…blah de blah……
The truth: I wasn’t engaged with or interested in loads of subjects, and yes I did fail them.

But what does engage me I have Awesome concentration and expansive ability to learn!
Simple example I know – so please throw at me a more profound example and we’ll still ‘drill down’ to the truth.
This Top Tip truly “Rocks!” Please go & watch ‘Deconstruct Negative Dialogue’..

Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your won beautiful future.

Please email me privately I’d love to hear from you sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly
Sally

Sally Stubbs – Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

#PitchtoRich

May 2nd, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

We’ve entered Sir Richard Branson’s PitchtoRich competition!

We are so excited here at Sally Stubbs Ltd –  but we need votes now to be in for a chance to be a finalist:

if you could click on the link and vote for us, we would be happy chappies!

http://www.virginmediabusiness.co.uk/pitch-to-rich/grow/sally-stubbs-ltd/

huge thanks

Sally and the small team at Sally Stubbs Ltd

BIG NEWS!

April 30th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 Joint Venture News
We are Interrupting our Top Tips Series – (which will be resumed as soon as possible!!) to bring you the latest Exciting Big News!
The most Awesome recent development for us here at Sally Stubbs Ltd is that we have teamed up with the Amazing Dr. Tranquility.
She is Dr. Lydia Belton – and I promise you, Lydia is an absolutely dedicated ‘Power House’ in the Global world of Healing, amongst the many, many things she continuously achieves, she presents and interviews the world’s very best Healers on her web site.
We are Launching our joint venture live on Dr. Lydia’s – “Dr. Series” Radio Show on the 5th May.

A date for your diary – or you can catch us On Demand.
Do please go and find out more on her web site

JUST log-in and look for details of Dr. Lydia and me, Sally Stubbs, on her Dr. Series.
We will be discussing the Key to the Kingdom of Love & inner self confidence and inner Tranquility with our combined package of Dr. Lydia’s protocol ‘Date Therapy’ and my ‘Have Harmonious Relationships’ on MP3 download.
To Have Harmonious Relationships – with your self and with others – is my Top Dream – for all of us! “You may say that I’m a Dreamer – but I’m not the only one….”
You will give me such an invaluable gift – when you join Dr. Lydia and I and listen to us on her Dr. Series Radio Show – (don’t forget the 5th May) the gift is that you too are a ‘Dreamer’ and you unite with us in our ever growing gorgeous community to:

“Imagine all the people living life in peace”.
And – if you will choose to accept our joint offer – I promise – you will experience your own healing and transformation: your Dream of both inner peace with your self and with another person, of love, harmony, tranquility and celebration of life – will come true.
I’ve put a 2 minute video on You Tube explaining a little more about why I’m so excited to be in this venture with Dr Tranquility: do have a look!
Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future and have a Great Harmonious Life.
Please email me privately any time I’d love to hear from you: sally@sally-stubbs.com
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy “Cures that Endure”

www.sally-stubbs.com

The Dream – The Very Possible Dream!

April 27th, 2015

Derwentwater 27.4.15

Welcome:

I so want to share with you some really, really useful ideas and some Simple yet Powerful Top Tips – for you to consider and act upon for yourself, or if you’re spending these few minutes with me on behalf of someone you know or care about who needs and wants to Resolve PERMANENTLY a Mind-Emotional problem that is holding you or them back back from having a Truly Fulfilled life.
Life is SO Precious……..
So: I’ve started upon my next Series of Short ‘Tasty Video Bites’ – each episode with new ideas, new ways of thinking about a problem state and how to begin to Resolve that problem and ‘move on’ Free to happily be your self – Free to be who you were ‘born to be’.
This first Top Tip is about you engaging with your dreams and discovering amazing solutions & resolutions that the wisdom of your Unconscious will mobilise for you as you sleep.
I am a huge fan of Carlos Castaneda and his Teacher Don Juan. (Check it out if you’ve never read any of Castaneda. I believe I can promise you that you will love it!)
Here’s a quote from the Don – worthy of your consideration:
“The sorcerers’ explanation of how to select a topic for dreaming, is that a warrior chooses the topic by deliberately holding an image in his mind while he shuts off his internal dialogue. If he is capable of not talking to himself for a moment and then holds the image or the thought of what he wants in dreaming, even if only for an instant, then the desired topic will come to him.”
I wish that you get going with your Dreams – and you will Dream Well – and become the Great Good ‘Warrior’ in your life.
And here, as promised, is ‘Scoff’ to inspire and uplift you. What an awesomely fine ‘Warrior’ he is.
Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future.

Please email me privately any time I’d love to hear from you:- sally@sally-stubbs.com
Warmly

Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

The Rapha Therapy System & The Role of Metaphor

April 20th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I made myself smile hugely as I thought to call this video for you:
‘RAPHA IN ‘A NUTSHELL’!

Then realized you might not want to ‘go anywhere near’ what’s in a nut shell – the nut!! (the link to the video is at the bottom of this page)
Well: that idiom means: to ‘describe in as few words as possible’.
And – yeah…. I’ve done it! The video is 7 and a half minutes as I know your time is precious – and you are busy I’m sure.
So I’d say this video is BIG NEWS! – a rare opportunity for me to describe for you – in a ‘nut shell’!!! – my 30 years of rigorous, robust, enjoyable work and passion to fulfill my Vision to create my RAPHA Therapy System – which permanently – (worth repeating) – permanently – Resolves mind-emotional problems, suffering and ‘pain’.
Here’s my understanding of RAPHA:
RAPHA Rocks!
And, when you journey with me on one of my RAPHA Audio Courses – (take a look at my available courses –  there are more to come) – you take a safe, rewarding, self-empowering journey into your very own inner worlds – you mobilise your own dormant or hidden inner strengths, resources, and inner self certainty – changing your thinking and your feelings and how you are, so you celebrate your life ‘in your skin’.
Gary Hogg has said a number of times: “It’s a fun journey!”
As you’ve perhaps got to know me – you’ll know that I am not interested in ‘quick, fast therapy’ – it does not last!
I want lasting success for you.
You also possibly know me as a really, really upbeat person? Which perhaps can socially get a bit tedious for others when they’re down or in a grump – and I focus on the light and the bright in life!
Well, I am really upbeat recently as we have just topped making connections with and reaching out to over a million people worldwide. Awesome!
Next time we’ll have a short video for you of me and ‘Scoff’ – an amazing young man who has been working with my RAPHA Audio Course ‘Solutions to Stress’.
If you’re anything like me – a small warning – Scoff will move you to a few tears – of relief!
Wishing you every success and the freedom to happily be your self………….
So … the Video: It’s here- the Four Stages to Permanent Resolution of Your Problem
Please email me privately any time I’d love to hear from you sally@sally-stubbs.com
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy  “Cures that Endure”

 

How Rapha Works – Building Positive Beliefs

March 30th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Rapha Therapy System Video 5 – Building Positive Beliefs

ENJOY my video – another short ‘tasty bite’: a ‘wondrous aroma’ to ‘whet your appetite’ to join me on my RAPHA – inner journey –
on one of my 12 Audio Therapy Courses – your Goal being now – Present!
Just one important point to make here – as I have been asked this loads of times:
“What if I want to lose 6 stone of weight? I won’t do that in 40 days?”
Correct! No! You won’t and it would be horribly unhealthy if you attempted this! To lose around 6 stone in weight will take around 120 days – healthily and carefully.
However – a hugely different however – after the 40 days my people who want to lose more than 9 to 12 pounds – (9 to 12 pounds in 40 days is a healthy weight loss) will know by 40 days that they will –and that their Successful Goal will be ‘in reach’
No more mind whirling cogitations of the fears and ‘What if’s’ and ‘Yeah but’s’! The mind will be as clear and certain as with a simple task – think of one that suits you – such as you know you can tie your shoe laces!

This is the only one of my half an hour a day for 40 days – that will need to continue a while longer to the actual weight loss. And, by the way – without dieting!

So: this short video is episode five of my first series – (I’ve another series to come – like we’re waiting for “Breaking Bad” or your favourite series!) This clip today is a brief overview of how my fourth RAPHA assignment – which I thoroughly teach on my Audio Therapy Courses – wonderfully brings your Goal right into your present – no longer ‘floating like a grey chimera mist on your horizon’ – alive and in your present.
What a gift hey!
Wishing you inner freedom to know and to experience your own beautiful future…………… now present.

Please email me privately any time I’d love to hear from you sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

How Rapha Works – Deconstruct Negative Beliefs

March 23rd, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Rapha Therapy System Video 4 – Deconstruct Negative Beliefs

Now is the time to BELIEVE in your ‘self’…… Enjoy my short ‘tasty bite’ fourth video clip – an overview of how you will learn with my RAPHA audio Therapy Courses – that you can truly BELIEVE in your ‘self’.
And – you can – BELIEVE in your ‘self’ – believe that your ‘self’, can – and will successfully – achieve the Goal that you want for you.
Your Goal, that maybe for quite some time – or even a long time, seems to have been floating in the grey mists on some future horizon – chimera like – almost unattainable, almost an illusion – despite all your courageous and determined efforts to ‘get there’.
What stops us?

What ‘blocks’ our onward journey to achieving our useful and beautiful Goal?

– even though we thoroughly know what our Goal is –  and we are top motivated to ‘get there’ – permanently.!

We can give an overview title to what stops us – and that is:
Our Unconscious negative self beliefs.
Negative self beliefs that we are maybe only vaguely Conscious of!
We develop within our Unconscious mind a Matrix of self beliefs in our first 7 to 14 years of life.
The negative ones do not ‘serve’ us in our life. However ‘some’ of those negative self beliefs will have had a purpose, and basically that was to keep us ‘safe’.
A very simple example; someone says: “I’m really shy! I nearly always hold myself back”.
The: “I’m shy” belief could well have been ‘formed’ within the Unconscious mind – because as a youngster, a child, this person was really out going – and the adults informed them that they must be quiet!
So the child, unconsciously, developed a state called: “Shy,” to ensure that they did not speak up or be noisy – as it was probably not ‘safe’ to upset or annoy adults!
These kinds of unconscious beliefs that originally developed to keep us safe – need a careful and also easy method to deconstruct.
This, and other negative belief deconstruction is the third assignment on my half an hour a day for 40 days RAPHA Audio Therapy Courses.
It’s a very, very important assignment. You see, this ‘negative stuff’ contained within our Unconscious Matrix – if it’s ‘not cleaned’ up, and replaced with a new self validating belief system – the negative ‘stuff’ will keep on and on projecting ‘itself’ into our future and our success will always continue to ‘float like grey mist’ on our horizon – unattainable.
On this short (7.5 min) video I explain the significance of Deconstructing Negative Beliefs. And whichever of my audio courses addresses your particular problem, I will teach you how to do just that!.
ENJOY
Please do get in touch with me privately sally@sally-stubbs.com I’ll be delighted to hear your thoughts and answer your questions.
Wishing you inner freedom to move on into your own beautiful future…………

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy  – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

How Rapha Works – Be Your Own Motivator

March 18th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Rapha Therapy System Video 3 – Be Your Own Motivator

So:  this, my third short ‘tasty bite’ of video – is about your second assignment – around 10 minutes a day from day 11 to day 20 on my RAPHA audio Therapy Courses:
It is about How you will become your Own Motivator.
It’s an awesome assignment and is a vitally important step on your inner journey to permanent and authentic resolution of a problem state.
As you perhaps know –I personally am not the least bit interested in cover up therapies – daily exercises to keep a problem at bay – the gimmicky strategies –that in recent years seem to have sprung up all around like ‘weeds’!
This third video – which gives you a brief overview of how you will become your own Motivator – is really about self actualization.

My own research and other research I’ve read is now revealing that our inner search for our own reasons and purposes to successfully achieve is our – mine – yours – most powerful method to bring about lasting permanent change and transformation.
Whereas for many centuries we have leant more and more to turn outwards for external motivation – you know what I mean! From our wanting to ‘please’ parents, family – impress our boss – do ‘better than our neighbours’ – and so on………….
Yeah, of course we all need a ‘little help’ and support from friends – loved ones – even a brief (very brief!!) sojourn into the world of meds – to give us a helping hand. And sometimes we will ‘climb out of the pit’ for the sake of loved ones.
Bottom line is – we need self actualization – to be free to be our self.
Now we can all discover, mobilise and empower our own inner motivation.
RAPHA assignment two – is my ‘helping hand’ teaching and guiding you.to be just that, your Own Inner Motivator.
On this short (7 min) video I explain the importance of Motivation and whichever of my courses addresses your particular problem, I will teach you how to get seriously Motivated.
ENJOY
And please do get in touch with me privately sally@sally-stubbs.com I’ll be delighted to hear your thoughts and answer your questions.
Wishing you inner ‘power’ and inner ‘control’ to be free to be your self.

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

How Rapha Works – Goal Setting

March 16th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Rapha Therapy System Video 2 – ‘Goal Setting’
 
So:  Hurrah!  here we are with the next ‘episode’ in my series of short ‘tasty, delicious bites’ videos, finally explaining what my RAPHA Audio Therapy courses are and how they work to achieve permanent, authentic resolution to those horrid mind-emotional problems.
I’ve likened these short episodes to a really fine wine tasting!!

Giving you the delicious ‘flavours’ and ‘aromas’ of my RAPHA Audio Therapy Courses.
I have put years and years of great, and enjoyable, effort into polishing and re-polishing the valuable ‘gems’ of Therapeutic Strategies into the structuring and recording of my courses.
Why did I bother? Why do I bother?
Because, I am not interested in ‘cover up’ gimmicky therapies! I am only interested in getting safely and comfortably to the real ‘Core’ of mind-emotional problems and achieving permanent resolution.
If you’re not interested in permanent resolutions – my Rapha Therapy System is not for you!!
This second short video – is giving you an overview of the real importance of Goal Setting – and the details of how to set your own Goal. My video gives you an overview of answering the uncommon question:

“And – what do you want to have happen?” This question is formed in such a way as to invite uncommon answers.
Because if we don’t know where we are going – we’ll never take the steps to start the journey!
On each of my Rapha Therapy Audio courses I teach you how to set and hone your goals, this is ‘Assignment 1’ the first 10 days of your transformation.
On this short (7 min) video I explain the importance of taking time to focus and fine tune your goals.
ENJOY
And please do get in touch with me privately sally@sally-stubbs.com I’ll be delighted to hear your thoughts and answer your questions.
Thinking of you warmly – and wishing you Freedom to be your self – happy in your ‘own skin’ – celebrating your life.

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com

How Rapha Therapy Works: first of a series of short videos

February 23rd, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 

Hello: I’m ‘back’ – full on with my ‘Vision’ to assist you – or assist you to help a loved one of yours – to Find Your MoJo – and to permanently Free you or them from that ‘ground hog day’ of mind-emotional ‘pain’ and turmoil.
It’s a deal!
And the ‘deal’ with my RAPHA Therapy Courses – is, that once you find and free your MoJo – you mobilise your inner strengths and resources – your unique magic – and ‘it’  your MoJo won’t be lost to you again.
Sure, you’ll have the challenges in life – we all do. But once your MoJo is restored to you – you will take on those challenges with inner strength and resourcefulness. You’ll get grumpy (maybe!!) – but hey – grumpiness will last only for minutes instead of for a ‘life time’.
This is a link to my first short – nourishing bite – video – the first in a series about how Rapha Therapy works.
And please do get in touch with me privately sally@sally-stubbs.com I’ll be delighted to hear your thoughts and answer your questions.

Wishing you Freedom to be your self…………….

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

‘Tools’ – for You to Permanently Resolve Problems

February 16th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I’m so sorry that I’ve ‘been off the radar’ for a few weeks now.
I kind of hope that you ‘missed me’!!!
I haven’t been ‘couch potato-ing’ these past weeks. I’ve been figuring out – How – I can best‘ deliver’ to you – for you or a loved one of yours – my AMAZING & Authentic ‘Tools’ – that I have rigorously studied, researched and polished for over 30 years – in an, easy for you to use, Guide – to Freeing and Healing your ‘self’ of the ‘horror’ of those mind-emotional ‘ground hog day’ fears, anxieties and problems.
So: over the weeks my ideas have been ‘incubating’ nicely – and soon I will make for your delight – a Series of short videos – around 7 minutes each –a light bite:
The videos will be an easy relaxed step by step Guide – assisting you to Free your ‘self’.
COMING SOON – as they say!
In the meantime do go and see http://www.sally-stubbs.com/blog/awesome-adam-on-video/
Adam is Brilliant. He was one of the youngest heart transplant patients ever – aged only 9.
Adam will be making another short video for us soon – he’s been really busy recently with a new job – AND – eating out, and going out and about with his girlfriend and friends! (Something he just could not do 6 months ago!)
Here’s a copy – with Adams permission of course – of an email he sent to me just after Christmas. What an Awesome gift is this email.

Please read these few powerful beautiful lines and – be inspired……..
Sally,
6 months ago a frightened child emailed you asking for help. Too afraid to eat a meal in public, too afraid to have days out with friends and loved ones. A future so bleak as to be likened to staring down the barrel of a gun.
The first few months weren’t easy, as the fears rose and receded with each session with you, and each new day faced. The child inside battled buried demons, hidden within the depths of a mind built to hide the horrors of facing death more than once.
Slowly the child grew in strength, and began to free himself of the shackles holding him within. The demons came on, daring him to stand and fight. Which he did.
Now we have the child released from fear & servitude, and the adult in his place. A dream of a man fallen into flames, and rising as a bird from said flames, to begin anew. The courage of the child which stills his fear as an adult.
Of the future? Who knows, though now there is future, no barrels pointing towards my eyes.
Thank you
With love
Adam & Azja
(Ps. Xmas meal was fantastic!)
Please do be in touch with me privately  sally@sally-stubbs.com  I’ll be delighted to hear your thoughts and questions.

Wishing you Freedom to be your   ‘self’……..

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy –  ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

Make 2015 an Outstanding Year for You!

January 8th, 2015

outstanding energy

Would you like a happier 2015?
Wikipedia quotes: “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”
Could our Happiness possibly be about choice?

I believe we do have the choice. I promise you from my ‘Heart’ – I am not being flippant here. And being outstandingly happy 24/7 would be ludicrous – because we do have the challenges, the uncertainties and absolutely we do have the sadness. Yet: we can learn to give straight, focused time to the challenges and the uncertainties and we can accept that it is healthy for our ‘Heart’ to feel sadness.
If we can consider briefly for a few moments – when we were babies and when we were young children – as long as we were well, warm, fed – physically comfortable And we were experiencing emotional stability, we were in a state of mental & emotional contentment – which, when we saw, heard, smelt, tasted, touched on something exciting, beautiful, intriguing, contentment could range to joy.

When we were ‘at one with our world’ and ‘our world was at one with us’ we were content…………..
Today we were going to explore – the ‘how’ to solve, resolve and ‘heal’ our ‘inner’ objections to our Happiness.

I think we need a couple more things in place before we take this step.
I’ll talk about these couple of ‘steps’ in a moment, because resolving our ‘objections’ to Happiness does take effort.

Enjoyable effort actually, because the effort has immeasurable rewards for our life – the reward being that life can be experienced as a stable inner sense of contentment – no matter the challenges and bewilderments in life.

Just to recap:
When you are answering the questions: And when I am happy – how do I know that I am happy? – and you then choose to answer the question through your own knowing – of some past experience – your thoughts and your feelings You then also ‘note’ the inner objections, such as: ‘Yeah but I’m so worrying about…’ ‘Yeah but I’m really stressing about….’ ‘Yeah but I feel ignored by this person…’ ‘Yeah but – I can’t say “No”…’ ‘Yeah but I can’t sleep…….’
Our inner objections to our Happiness are valid.

Each objection needs our careful attention – to solve resolve, and heal correctly – and permanently.
So before we explore the ‘how’ to do this – let’s spend another week – for a few minutes a day ‘firming up’ our inner ability and resourcefulness to access our thoughts and feelings of Happiness.

Ideally we would do this – access inner happiness for twenty minutes every hour & a half!

If you are the type of person who likes facts go look up my teacher Dr Ernest Rossi on google – Ultradian Rhythms. Natural rhythms in our amazing brain – every hour & a half throughout the 24 hours our brain wants & needs to rest, totally in a state of contentment for 20 minutes. None of us will take this amount of time in our – oh so busy schedules – to rest & feel content within our self – leaving the world to ‘grind on’ with its problems! You can choose to do the 20 minutes Ultradian rest once a day?

Here’s my free gift for you – my 20 minute story for you – to rest and make your life happier.
Enjoy:) Enhance Your Happiness

And the other ‘step’ for you this week:

Explore your own beliefs – you can choose to feel happy – it is a choice!

The only times happiness is not a choice are:
1) When our inner objections are not resolved with the right attention.
2) When we are literally in physical danger, when we have to ‘run like mad, or fight’.
3) When we are genuinely grieving the loss of a loved one

Wishing you enjoyment on your ‘steps’ towards your Happiness.
warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

DEALING WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS AT CHRISTMAS

December 17th, 2014
Derwentwater with snow on fells behind

Snowfall in Keswick

Compliments of the Season to One & All:

Christmas Day – do you have a problem with step families, ex partner, or members of the family who do not get along, I am sad to say that undercurrents are still running at this time of year but I am able to offer you ideas to make the day happy, or harmonious. I’m am sure that if you do take this challenge on and follow my ‘Top Tips’ you will be so pleased with yourself and be happy. What a great achievement for you to accomplish harmony at Christmas when there could have been the horror of conflicts and disputes.
My Top Tips:
• First: You need to decide to take on the task on making Christmas Day to be happy, or harmonious.
• Having made this decision you need to set a Goal. Writing down goals is very useful.
• Write down, in your own words, the positive outcome for Christmas Day.

Something like: The day will be harmonious between me – and ‘that person’ or ‘those people’
• Never write a goal in the negative for example: There will be no fighting and fall outs on Christmas Day. Your brain will begin to access every imaginable states of fighting and fall out, and low and behold it will more than likely happen!
• Having spent some time really refining your own goal for harmony on Christmas day. Make a list of the people, however many. It might be just you and one other, or a number of people.
• In your list, no matter how it may gall you to do this, take one person at a time from you list, and tell yourself: They are difficult to relate to because they have had some difficulties. No matter how obnoxious or tricky their behaviour may have been in the past, the truth is a person is only difficult in their behaviour because they have suffered, or believe they have suffered. So, for this work to create harmony on Christmas Day, your goal is to just accept they have suffered.
• Then, and again I’m sad to say, it is you who has to be the strong one here, even though you may have had past grievances, ask yourself: What do each of these people need, or need to know so that for this one special day they can have harmony?
Examples: A step child, you may discover would like you to just ‘leave them alone’. The secret is when we realise a person needs to be just left alone we need to have a congruently calm mind about doing this. Our mind must not be chuntering in the back ground as we smile and ‘leave them alone’. They will know that we are chuntering away quietly which will lead eventually to disharmony. Maybe the Ex’s new partner would like to be admired. You may dislike her/him but you can find something to admire about them!
• Go through your list a number of times, realise that as you do this you can do it with good grace, because trust me these kinds of strategies will strengthen you in your thoughts and in your mind, and you will feel strong and calm.
• As you go through your list parts of you may object, for example to admiring the ex’s partner. So let these parts of you object, and then negotiate with those parts of yourself that what you want to achieve for the day is your goal: Harmony at Christmas.
• All this can be done believe me. It will take a little effort from you. So you need to get writing your goal and your lists – Now!
• By the way – as soon as you get focused on doing this you will have some amazing dreams whilst you’re asleep, with some great solutions and ideas. How great is that!
• Last of all when you know what everyone needs, when you know you can do this for every one, you can begin to imagine all the people having a peaceful day together…… And You achieved that…… congratulations!
Peace on Earth…..

Sally

quick mention of our special offer – only available on our website – £20 OFF all boxed CD sets: just enter  – video – at the checkout then the discount will automatically be applied. Any questions please feel free to contact me direct in the strictest confidence.

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

AWESOME ADAM ON VIDEO……….

November 17th, 2014
Rapha Therapy

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Meet Adam: Cured of his Anxiety with Rapha Therapy:

And may I ask you – how is the outside weather for you today?
Here in the Lakes outside – it’s Glorious – calm and mellow, azure blue skies – autumn leaves, wearing their gowns of fiery colours – fly and dance through the air.
And my inside weather is just the same!

Mellow along with feelings of excitement, like the flight and dancing of the leaves……….
I’d like you to meet Adam on this short video. He is 32 years old – and rarely, since he was 19, has his inside ‘weather’ matched that of ‘mellow’ glorious Lake District days.
Outside would be wonderful – (We Lakes folk can be quite boring – in that we like, even enjoy, rain and snow and mud!!)

– and Adam’s ‘inside weather’, at the very thought of going out, going somewhere new – would overwhelm him with anxiety.
Adam – at the very young age of just nine – had a Heart Transplant. I feel we are really privileged that he has come along to talk to us.
If you’ve seen my two videos ‘Keep Your Self in the Picture’ and – ‘Staying in the Picture’, what I’m about to say will make total, total sense.
If you haven’t seen them – please, please do go and watch.
It was not the Trauma of such profound, life saving surgery that ‘caused’ Adam’s anxiety to trigger up and overwhelm him when he was aged 19.

It was the ‘fragment of his young self’ age nine – prior to his life saving surgery – ‘who’ got ‘stuck’ in time with anxiety and panic.
I hope you feel awed, as I do, by Adam – as you watch and listen to him.
And now that he is Free of anxiety and panic and is really growing in Confidence – thanks only to RAPHA – my Heart is full of delight for him that he can now thoroughly celebrate his life – a life that he fought so hard for.
Adam doesn’t just want to help transplant patients – he wants to help you too – so please email him in confidence any questions via my private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com
He will be back to talk to us again.

Hurrah!
Soon: I will be making a series of short video blogs – to tell you exactly how RAPHA works to permanently Cure – mind-emotional problems. I’m very excited about doing those videos.

Oh! and our offer – (£20.00 OFF all Boxed Sets of 5 CD courses) available until end of January 2015 only from our website:

www.sally-stubbs.com 

Type the word – video – at the check out and the discount will automatically be applied.
Do please email me sally@sally-stubbs.com  if you’re uncertain which one is right for you, or for your Auntie, or your teenager or friend.
Wishing you inner Freedom to happily be your self…….

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy  – ‘Cures that Endure’

 

STAYING IN THE PICTURE………

November 13th, 2014

Hunchy bunch on stepGood Day to You – and just to say we are even more excited about our 2nd Video Blog – since the huge, huge response of support – and gorgeous messages about our first one.
ENJOY the 2nd One- ‘Staying in the Picture!
     And – if you missed the first one – It’s Here – because this one will make sense of the strategy I explore with you in this our 2nd video.

And:
I am also totally excited about the Oliver James piece in the Daily Mail. I promise you it is well worth a read. Oliver is in a position to write in the media about what I ‘Rant’ about!
Oliver says:
“Working as a psychotherapist, I rarely encounter patients who haven’t been subjected to CBT, which failed to help them.
The problem with CBT is that no attempt is made to understand the causes of depression and anxiety. Proper therapy – such as psychodynamic therapy, which looks at why we behave as we do – can treat the causes.
The causes themselves are one of the best-kept secrets of modern science. They do not include your genes. The latest evidence strongly suggests that mental illness is not genetic.”
Indeed, in a remarkable recent admission: Robert Plomin: Britain’s top gene psychologist, stated that: ‘I’ve been looking for these genes [for mental illness] for 15 years and I don’t have any!
What a Brilliant fellow he truly is.
And I’m thrilled and privileged to be corresponding with Oliver – and have gained his interest in my kind of Therapeutic Work.

I think we got over excited with our first video blog – and said our offer on our Boxed Sets of 5 CD Courses would be available until January 2014!!!
Ooops!! Sorry!
The offer of course is available until January 2015
Because we also really, really want to help with those New Year Resolutions – the important ones that not only will Permanently Resolve difficulties such as Stress, Fears, Nervousness, Over Eating – Lack of Confidence………. will also assist the Freeing of your ‘self’ to be your ‘self.’
The offer of £20.00 off the normal retail price of the Boxed Set of 5 CD’s Rapha Audio Courses is only available from my web site: www.sally-stubbs.com
Enter the word – video – at the check out for the discount to be applied.
Here’s wishing you Freedom to be your ‘self’

 

Warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

KEEP YOUR ‘SELF’ IN THE PICTURE…………

November 5th, 2014

I am really excited – as this is my very first video blog!
Just click this link – and Enjoy.
Let me know what you think: I intend to make them regularly, so feed back and suggestions will be most helpful.

sally@sally-stubbs.com direct to me!
And because you can actually see me – I’ve given you a wondrously powerful Top Tip – towards you resolving whatever it is that bothers you, whatever it is that stops you living your amazing life free to be your ‘self’ – free to celebrate who you were born to be – and fulfilling your immeasurable potential.
It’s an awesome strategy – it looks simple on the video – and yet it will safely and comfortably give you important information on your journey to your own Goal. Because one of thee main things to gain information about is – what is stopping us – what is blocking us from authentically and permanently achieving our Goal.

The strategy in my video is a first step – I’ll talk more in depth about this step next time.
Because we are so excited about this our first video blog – we are thrilled to offer you any of my half an hour a day for 40 days RAPHA Audio Therapy on Boxed Sets of 5 CD’s – retailing at £57 – for only £37!
(Retailing at US $90  – for only US $ 59)
We’ll keep this offer open for you until January 31st 2015:
Just go and see which of my boxed set RAPHA courses on 5 CD’s you’d like and when you get to the checkout simply type the code word: Video – to purchase them at our offer price.
Maybe your grumpy teenager will love to have my “End Anger” CD’s in their Christmas ‘stocking’!
Or your plump friend will love receiving my “Lose Weight – Don’t Wait to be the Right Weight” – right now – so they have time to healthily lose a little excess packaging before Christmas?
Who else can you think of?

Someone you care about who will rejoice when they “Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence”?
What about New Years resolutions?

Not too early to consider those you know and some help with them is never a bad thing!

Wishing you Freedom to be your ‘self’…………….

Warmly

Sally

Rapha Therapy – “Cures that Endure”

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Expanding on my ‘T minus 1’ Theme:

October 20th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Good Day to You

– and –  don’t you find it intriguing — and frustrating – and down right horrid! – that there are so many times for you or a loved one of yours – when, out there – outside, the weather is great – the day is gorgeous – just like today here in the English Lake District – and then you have thoughts of ‘this, that or the other’ symptom in your life that ‘’haunts’ you – and your internal weather is no longer good and gorgeous.

Internally you feel Awful.
And – you know what – I am really, really sad about that.
So: let’s figure this out together – shall we – we can do this – and live our lives in Celebration – and in the words of Dear Bill Hicks: ‘We can explore both inner and outer space together forever in Peace’.
OK – more on our profound subject “T MINUS ONE”

HOW CAN YOU KNOW IF THE ‘STUCK FRAGMENT OF YOU’ IS IN “T – 1”
First let’s briefly re-cap: It is from the ‘Stuck’ fragment of our self – that our present day debilitating Symptoms are ‘born’ – Our present day debilitating Symptoms are being ‘driven’ by our Unconscious mind.
Right! – Non of us consciously want to be scared, nervous, unable to say “NO!” None of us consciously want to be anxious, worrying, stressing, tossing and turning at night. None of us consciously want to feel down – withdrawn from life – angry at ‘the drop of a hat’.
And so does it not make perfect sense that the way to Authentically Resolve our horrid Symptoms is by communicating correctly with our own Unconscious – safely and effortlessly.
How can you know if ‘Stuck fragment of you’ is in “T – 1”?
• Other talking Therapies have not brought about Authentic and Permanent Resolution
• Symptoms are described with gerunds – any gerund: “I keep thinking that…” “I have these same feelings whenever I think about……” “It’s like a churning……” “I feel a sinking…..” “I keep seeing him falling….” “There’s a floating sensation in my head/stomach/heart….” “I keep dreaming something is chasing me….” (A gerund ends in ‘ing’ – and indicates that something, some event, never completed itself in time)
• Symptoms are described using Metaphor; words such as: “I feel knotted up….” “It’s like a heaviness inside me…..” “It’s like a block….. I’m blocked….” “I just put up a wall or a barrier……” “Something always stops me…..” “I can’t be myself…..” “I’ve never really been me…….”
The Awesome thing is – as we find heal and free the fragment of our ‘stuck’ self from “T – 1” we not only Permanently Resolve our debilitating Symptoms – we also Free and mobilise inner Resources that became condensed within the “T -1” moments.
For example the 54 year old me – having healed and Freed the 4 year old from ‘her’ “T – 1” – of hearing the branch of the tree snapping and seeing ‘her’ 6 year old brother falling can now, not only happily walk along the cliff top, can excitedly fly around the world, is totally calm with sounds of others eating – the 54 year old me also has loads and loads of energy. Why? Because, for 50 years, without fully consciously realising it, I had been over protective of others, particularly of my brother.
Blimey  – the amount of energy that over protection consumes!
Amazing – to have freed up my own energy – for all kinds of things – just to have fun, to be creative – and oddly gaining energy by being able, when I rest – to really, really rest.
The half an hour a day for 40 days of my RAPHA Audio Therapy Courses – is communicating safely with the Unconscious mind – using the specific language of the Unconscious mind!
Wishing you Freedom to be fully your self…………

Warmly,

Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy: ‘ Cures that Endure’

 

WHERE ARE ‘YOU’?

October 7th, 2014

Derwentwater May 2013Let’s explore: Where are ‘You’?

So: let’s comfortably explore what I mean by:
WHERE ARE ‘YOU’?
I want us to just take this easy – and slowly – and not have too much information today, to be absorbed all at once.

Why?

Because what we are exploring now, is profound.
First – who is the ‘You’ referred to in my Question?
It is the ‘You’ who is the ‘lost fragment of your self’ .This ‘fragment’ of ‘you’ became ‘lost’, ‘stuck’ in time.
‘What on earth does that mean?’ – you might well be asking!
Let’s think of time moving onwards – from this moment to the next moment – and that any moment in time contains a vast amount of information – from the sights, sounds, smells, feelings of the outer environment to the thoughts & feelings of our inner ‘environment’ – the mind/brain is experiencing massive amounts of information – unconsciously in any given moment.

“T MINUS ONE”
Let’s think that in the next moment, we perceive that a trauma, or crisis or catastrophe is about to occur, like this example:
‘I am aged 4 – I see my 6 year old brother has climbed to the top of a tree.
I hear the branch snapping…
I see him falling & falling……….’
The 4 year old me unconsciously stops time whilst he is falling – in an attempt to stop the next moment of awful, awful injury, or even death occurring to my brother.
The ‘fragment’ of the 4 year old me remains ‘stuck’ in that ‘frozen’ moment – she does not grow – and ‘her’ panic replays over & over & over again – an emotional ‘ground hog day’.
This moment is called and is located in “T MINUS ONE”
This ‘moment is frozen’ in an attempt to protect ‘me’ from the psychic onslaught of the pain of “T” – “T” being the worst time of “Trauma” or Crisis or Catastrophe.

50 years later – it is the ‘4 year old’ me who – on & off, depending on the circumstance of the environment – has continued for pretty much the entire 50 years to ‘faithfully’ replicate ‘panic’ – at let’s say certain snapping sounds or being high off the ground – cannot fly in a ‘plane – cannot stand near the edge of, for example, a cliff.
The 54 year old me has no real conscious idea that the ‘panic’ that has ‘haunted’ my life for as long as I can remember has anything to do with my 6 year old brother falling. I’ve avoided heights, and ‘plane travel – but sometimes even people eating panics me – I’ve no idea that some sounds of eating replicate the sound of a snapping tree branch.
Age 54 my husband is now getting frustrated – maybe annoyed, that I won’t, just can’t, fly anywhere with him, as he is longing to travel far & wide, so, I go and see a Therapist to resolve my ‘panic’.
The well meaning Therapist takes a case history of my life, my brother’s accident comes up – and so the Therapist regresses me through the accident.
And, after many Sessions, despite my hopes, I am still ‘panicked’ by heights, by the thought of flying and by certain snapping sounds.
Why doesn’t Regression to – through and re-living Trauma, Authentically Resolve symptoms (as in this example) such as panic, phobia of heights or phobia of certain snapping sounds?
Because the symptoms are not ‘born’ in the Trauma – they are ‘born’ in “T MINUS ONE” – and it is in “T MINUS ONE” – where the ‘lost fragment of you’ is to be found, to be healed and then to be Freed.
Maybe you’ll say that no such Trauma happened in your life – or in the life of someone you care dearly about (if perhaps you’re interest in reading my letter is for someone beloved to you).

Well, in which case, it’s also in “T MINUS ONE” – that that we find undifferentiated and unresolved negative self beliefs that ‘drive’ our debilitating symptoms.
It is in “T MINUS ONE” – that the ‘lost’ fragment of you – is faithfully replaying over & over & over again the symptoms that the present day ‘you’ ‘suffers’: the being frightened, the not saying “NO!”, the worrying and stressing, the putting your self down, nervous knotting and churning in the stomach….. the tossing and turning at night……. and so on.
“T MINUS ONE” is where my half an hour a day for 40 days RAPHA Therapy Courses  ‘go to’  to find, heal and Free – the ‘you’ – who became ‘stuck’ in that ‘emotional ground hog day’ of negative self beliefs or fear of the next moment.
I so hope that you’ve found “T MINUS ONE” profoundly interesting and hugely insightful.

.
Have a look at the video ‘Sally Explains T Minus One’ on my You Tube Chanel. It only takes around 6 minutes
More on “T Minus One” –  it’s a Huge Subject – and is the real key to Freeing Your Power Within……. next time…………..

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Who Do You Think You Are?

September 29th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

What a Question Hey?
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?
Let’s think about: YOU.
Pretty much Every word we use – to explain or describe, has an “imprint”, has made its “mark”, in our consciousness, which we can trace to its origin – and how we experienced any particular word – in any particular “imprinting” moments of our life, which produced an emotion to that word.
Words contain ‘worlds within’, and depending on the experience of when certain words were first learnt – the feelings we have will correspond.
LET’S EXPLORE: ‘YOU’……
None of us had a ‘You’ – when we were pre verbal – not until we learnt the language.
From well meaning others who had the skill of language we may well have learnt : “You – are so clever. You – are so beautiful. You – are a joy to be with. You- will have a Great life…………..” ‘You’ – grows with positive associations
OR: From others who verbally delivered: “I’m scolding You for your own good. I’m punishing You to make You good…….” ‘You’ grows – with bewilderment, confusion & uncertainty.
ITS ALL A PART OF YOUR JOURNEY TO WHO ‘YOU’ ARE
Here’s a clear Story to indicate our use of words, an important Story for us all:
Twenty years or so ago I was Working 1:1 with a Client, it was towards the end of the Session – when the ‘younger fragment’ of my Client said she was sitting on some bright velvet cushions. I began to stress she Enjoy the comfort of ‘bright velvet cushions’ – this was my totally inaccurate presumption.
The ‘bright velvet cushions’, was the environment where she had experienced a serious beating, perpetrated upon her when she was a child.
That was a defining lesson for me of the ‘hidden’ worlds within worlds of words.
Imagine my dismay when last year I heard a well experienced Therapist conducting a strategy called Guided Imagery, say to the Client: “There are velvet cushions and I want you to sink deeply relaxed into that safe comfort….”
These examples demonstrates clearly – how careful we sometimes need to be with our presumptions of what feelings another has ‘imprinted’ by words.
Even the word ‘Love’ we could presume for all of us will be ‘imprinted’ with good experience & emotion. What if the word ‘Love’ is associated with a painful experience? ‘I’m beating you because I love you……..’ then the ‘world’ of ‘Love’ can be most confusing.
Hence my deeply considered care of words on my RAPHA courses.
SO HOW ABOUT………
So how about I ask you – now or; later – you choose when – that you sit right down in your chair – and ask someone who you trust to ask you the Question: Who do You think You are?
Your ‘You’ will tell his or her Story – in a way that is safe and valuable to you on your journey – to Free & heal your ‘self’.
Email me your thoughts or questions privately I’ll be delighted to hear from you.
Journey well to Free your ‘self’………
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy ‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Where Do You Find Your ‘Self’?

September 22nd, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 I understand that I learnt to care for and about others from my Dad……. And Yeah – my Dad is my Hero.
I do have a number of heroes – and they’re all, in my view, outstanding Revolutionary Reformists – to name a few: Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, William Wilberforce – and My Dad!
SO – WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR ‘SELF’?
Makes sense doesn’t it – that we first need to find our self – particularly the ‘lost’ fragment of our self – before we can Free our self of debilitating Symptoms?
Why?
Perhaps if you’ve read some of my recent letters you’ll accept that our Debilitating Symptoms – the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up……….. all – these horrid Symptoms ‘belong’ to a lost ‘fragment’ of our self.
So – where do we go to find and then Free our ‘self’?
We don’t have to move – we just need to sit right on down in our chair – because our ‘lost’ self is inside – us.
Your Unconscious mind might well travel ‘out to the stars’ to discover just where your ‘lost’ self – took up residence – when the ‘going got really tough’ – and you don’t even have to move out of your chair!

MY ‘SELF’ & THE TREE
I sat right down in my chair – this was back in 1985 – and my unconscious mind went in search of my ‘lost’ self – I found ‘her’ sitting up at the top of a favourite tree at the bottom of the garden – aged about 8.
When ‘the going had got tough’ for ‘her’ – emotionally ‘she’ took off to the tree.
I think I make sense to you? Think of it this way if you need to – lots of kids will ‘go out the window’ when the environment is boring. Right?
Their mind/self will ‘go off’ on all kinds of adventures. Grown ups are often heard to scold:
‘Pay attention when I’m talking.’
Or:
‘You’re not listening to me.’
(Grown ups used to say around me: ‘Oh, you’ll not get a word from Sally – she lives on another planet’)
Anyway once the boring stuff is over – and not before time for the kid! – their mind/self will come back.
When the stuff going on in the environment is frightening or scary – the mind/self – is not interested in ‘coming back’ – it can ‘stay out’ for a lifetime.
Sometimes the fragment of self in a frightening, scary or bewildering experience does not ‘go out’ – the fragment of self ‘takes up residence’ inside.
You’ll know this by such experiences as a knotting in the stomach – a shaking in the legs – a trembling in the heart – a closing up in the throat – a blanking in the head – a sinking in the tummy – a heaviness in the chest…….
All of these kinds of feelings denote where a ‘lost fragment of self resides’
And it is these feelings that ‘drive’ the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up………..
The ‘lost fragment of self’ that has these feelings is ‘saying’: Don’t get rid of ‘me’ – find ‘me’ and free ‘me’

SIT RIGHT DOWN IN YOUR CHAIR – & – FIND YOUR’ SELF’
And if you need help on your journey as you sit right down in your chair – I’m here for you with one of my RAPHA COURSES.
I have had a minor Rant over the years! I Love the writing of Dan Millman, James Redfield, Paulo Coelho – brilliant authors. My minor Rant is that so many books like these are indicating to the reader that you need to literally travel – to Hawaii – South America – the desert – to find your self.  Not so!
Journey Well………….

 

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy ‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

FREE YOUR INNER POWER

September 9th, 2014

inner powerFREEING THE POWER WITHIN…….
Look – I’m not messing around here – when I tell you the Truth – Yep – the Truth – the Magic simple formula – is – the Power within you is contained – held safe actually – in the Symptoms.

This Magic – that I know of — is becoming more & more sought after.
THE SYMPTOMS ARE:
Symptoms, such as the nervousness, the tossing & turning through the night, the stressing & worrying, angry at the cat, the I’m hiding away, I feel trapped, I feel lost, too scared to be confident, I can’t say “NO!”……………….. & so on – are like this –

Just imagine this: A fragment of your self fell into a deep, maybe even a deep, deep hole in the ground. Then the rest of your self had to get on with life – of course you did – and ever since you’ve been doing your very, very best – I know you have – whilst a missing fragment of your self is still stuck in a deep, deep hole in the ground.

Well – all these kinds of symptoms: the nervousness, the tossing & turning thru’ the night, the stressing & worrying, angry with the cat, the I’m hiding away, I feel trapped, I feel lost, too scared to be confident, I can’t say “NO!”……………….. are your lost, & fallen into a deep, deep hole, fragment of your self’s way of Yelling – communicating:

“Get Me Out of Here; Find Me; Free Me.”

THIS IS THE MAGIC THAT I DO
I don’t – in my Work and my RAPHA Audio Courses: half an hour a day for 40 days – get rid of Symptoms. This kind of prevalent Therapy Work is attempting to Get Rid of the ‘lost fragment of your self’.
This kind of Work does not achieve Authentic success. This kind of therapy – the direct suggestions – the affirmations – the meditations – the relaxations – the positive thinking – & so on – make my Heart ache & also puts me in a fury.
The lost fragment of our self – will NOT respond to this stuff.
Why?
Because this fragment is not thinking positive is not relaxed and is not interested in direct suggestion, visualisations, deep breathing. ‘It’ can’t comprehend any of those strategies. ‘It’’ is lost & stuck in a deep dark hole in the ground. ‘It’ is lost in a hard, dark place. ‘It’ is asking to be Found Freed & Healed – by ‘it’s’ unerring repetition of symptoms.
WHY BOTHER TO FREE THE FRAGMENT OF SELF
Someone asked me this Great question not long ago. She asked why should she bother to do one of my RAPHA Courses – to Gain Self Esteem & Self Confidence. She said: “I’ve managed to get by for nearly 54 years” (She is 54!)
I do so appreciate and respect the effort that we take in life to keep going – to get by as this lady said.
The Reason & Purpose to bother – Finding Freeing & Healing the lost – in a deep hole – fragment of our self – is that this fragment of our self has within ‘It’ – our lost Power.
The kind of Power that is always for our own good will, ease & celebration of our life & the good will of others.
MY WISH FOR YOU IS YOU FREE YOUR POWER WITHIN………………..
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy –  ‘Cures that Endure’

sally @sally-stubbs.com 

CONTINUE YOUR FANTASTIC RISE:

August 27th, 2014

free mojoTHE PURPOSE OF MY LETTER:
– is to help you to rise & rise into your potential – to happily enjoy being your ‘self.’
To achieve that rise you need to be free of the fear, the nervousness, the not sleeping – the feeling of not being good enough – being angry at people, angry at the cat & the cushion – to be able and strong to say “NO!” – to extra food – or people who can ‘door mat’ you…………….

ANOTHER BENEFIT FOR YOU
An Outstanding benefit for you when you Resolve these kinds of horrible, debilitating problems (which technically I call Symptoms – as it is ‘the problem’ that is driving the Symptoms) – is Ease.
Ease in your own ‘skin’ Ease in your life.
Easily more in command, of your thoughts, feelings & responses.

AT EASE IN YOUR ‘SKIN’, AT EASE WITH YOUR LIFE
I’m not being some over enthusiastic ‘Muppet’ here!! I’ve had the Symptoms!! I was fat, couldn’t sleep, nervous at the drop of a pin! Anxious……
I’m remembering that about 30 years ago – a friend invited me to supper, she said: “I’ve invited another friend called Chris for you to meet. And I’ve warned Chris – that you’ll hardly speak a word all evening.” Yeah, that hardly speaking and the rest, used to be me!

Whatever the Symptom or Symptoms you’re negotiating in your life – I want to help you to Resolve Permanently with my Audio Courses – half an hour a day for 40 days. And if done properly my Course will culminate in a life for you where you live at Ease in your ‘skin’.

AND IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER
When “Shit happens”
“Shit happens” is a common slang phrase; used as a simple existential observation that life can have challenging unpredictable events.
So: “Shit” can happen and you’ll be fully available to deal with it. No more crumbling, no more stomach colly-wobbling, no more getting into a fury, no more tossing & turning through the night, no more raiding the fridge / biscuit tin, no more running / hiding / procrastinating.

You will say “Shit” And – be Fully present, at ease, in command in your own thoughts, feelings & responses.
I’ve Worked rigorously during the past 30 years to develop the Rapha Road Map to Resolutions – the ‘blueprint’ to do this.

Get to Work; follow the steps with me alongside you.

Do this Great Good thing for your self.

Now, the ball is in your court.

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com
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IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU ………..

August 18th, 2014

 

Sally

Sally

 SO: WHAT’S ‘FUNNY’ ABOUT THIS!
‘Funny old word’ – selfish!

The Dictionary definition: Self-centered, self-seeing, self-interested……

Then there’s a load of definitions about being egotistical. That complicates things for us – we’ll be condemned for being egotistical!

‘Selfish’ – A trader at Billingsgate London fish market!!!

The Oxford English Dictionary says the origin of the word ”selfish” begins in 1640 when a
Presbyterian archbishop coined the phrase from ”his own mint”

Seems there was no such word before 17th Century England! Makes you really think doesn’t it!

SEE YOUR SELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU
“O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!” Robert Burns – Scottish Poet.
I’ll have the impudence to say: “Hi, Robert, as long as those eyes seeing ‘oursels’ – see the Beauty” (Discuss!)

SELF-SEEING
I like the dictionary definition bit: self-seeing.

There’s a really Great Question here:
How do we see our self?
How do you see your self?

Because a problem arises – if we truly see the Beauty of our self – we’re self-ish – and that’s bad! It, so we’ve been taught – perhaps since the 17th Century – precludes us being caring, sharing, altruistic. We have to pretty much shun seeing the Beauty of our self.

What happens inside your self when I say to you right now:

You are Beautiful.

I can ask you to pause, can I not, and read my true statement slowly – very slowly – notice with the great sensitivity I know you have – your inner self responses to:

You are Beautiful.

Maybe ask a friend to say it, congruently of course, to you – You are Beautiful……….

Notice your objections??? Notice your Resistance???

YOUR ‘HIDING’ SELF
Any Objection & Resistance to this statement of Truth about your self – comes from the ‘fragment’ of your self ‘who’ went into hiding.

This ‘fragment’ of self does not believe in ‘its’ Beauty.

This ‘fragment’ of self is the ‘owner’ of present day symptoms – the fears, the nervousness, the not sleeping, the stressing the worrying………….. The feeling like a ‘door mat’, the feeling unacceptable – not good enough – not appreciated – not being able to congruently say: “NO!” to food, to certain people, the feeling angry –

Don’t try and ‘get rid of’ the symptoms. Let the symptoms assist & guide you to ‘find’ Free & Heal your hiding ‘fragment’ of your self. And then – the symptoms will be Permanently Resolved!

I’m here to help – that’s what I do – go have a look at what I do – AND what I’ve perfected during the past 30 years – I am a Veracious Guardian – Freeing & Healing the lost ‘fragments’ of self.

Warmly,

 

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

IS YOUR ‘SELF’ HIDING?

August 11th, 2014

Catbells in FebruaryI have a truly Authentic feeling that this particular letter to you – is Wow! Awesome!

IS YOUR ‘SELF’ IN HIDING?
A lovely young man contacted me recently – questioning one of my letters – saying:

“I don’t know how to find my self!  It’s hiding!”

THIS IS HOW TO FIND YOUR SELF!
Indeed the lovely young man was right – one of our protective mechanisms when we’ve had a few “Ouches!” that hurt – and the “OUCHES!!” like a sum – add up and get big and more painful – our self will go into ‘hiding’.

I’ll just generalize here – so what I’m about to say may not resonate fully with you – as of course we are all Unique. I’ll generalize by calling the important fragment of our self that goes into hiding as a protection from more “Ouches!!” is our ‘sensitive self’.
Absolutely our ‘sensitive’ self wants and needs to withdraw and go into hiding – However – the point is – that eventually – or sooner or later – our ‘sensitive’ self has a kind of ambiguity about hiding away. Our ‘sensitive’ self wants to stay there in hiding – it’s safer here – and it also wants to be found & freed – to live life. Yet it is fearful to be Free – it may get loads more “Ouches!!”

The ambiguity causes our ‘sensitive’ self to produce our symptoms – such as our ‘Ground Hog Day’ – nervousness, our worrying, our not saying “NO!!” to people, to food – our not sleeping – our anxiety – our stressing……..
In the ‘hiding place’ time moves in a circle – time is ‘stuck’ hence the replaying day after day of the same old same old symptoms.

YOU WANT RID OF THE SYMPTOMS!
OF COURSE YOU WANT RID OF THE SYMPTOMS – they’re ruining your life!

But the Symptoms will not be banished – they will Permanently Resolve – once we discover our ‘self’ who is hiding away – and free our self to be our self!
Our Symptoms – will safely and comfortably guide and lead us on a journey of discovery – to find and discover our hiding or lost self.

And – that is exactly what my Work does – on CD & MP3 -and flash drive. Half an hour a day for 40 days.

As Gary keeps on saying “It’s a fun journey” It’s unlike any other Therapeutic Work – it does not ‘get rid of symptoms’ – The Symptoms Permanently Resolve when we find heal & free our hiding or lost self – and in doing so we reclaim:
our Amazing Mo-Jo……………..

Warmly,

Sally

 sally@sally-stubbs.com  

FIND & FREE YOUR ‘SELF’

August 4th, 2014

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Found Your Mo-Jo?
How is your Mo-Jo? I really hope you’re close to finding it, because when we’ve rediscovered our Mo-Jo – it means we’ve ‘freed’ our self so we can happily be our self.

You may have read some of what I want to talk about today in one of my previous letters. Sorry, but I believe its worthy of repeating!

Thanks for your patience with my ‘doggedness’!

You Want to be Happier
We all want to be even happier, it is part of our human need to grow into our potential for happiness and success, and our potential is massive, our potential is immeasurable, our potential is way, way beyond our limiting beliefs…….

Countless people are suffering, really suffering, emotionally and psychologically.

Personal freedom is important to all of us. I don’t mean the lack of freedom which so many of us suffer in those countries where we are the victims of the vagaries of government, which is disgraceful and horrific of course, but this is not my expertise.

My expertise: my full on energy: is to put an end to our emotional and psychological suffering, and for us all to have, to experience, and to celebrate, the freedom to be our ‘self’.

Finding & Freeing Your ‘Self’

Nearly all of us got ‘stuck’ somewhere in our life, in trauma, in crisis, or in a feeling of ‘catastrophe’ and that ‘stuck’ place put an end to our freedom to be our self, because of fear. Fear that the ‘next moment’ in time will become worse, or even be dangerous & destructive to our self.

Whilst part of our self is ‘stuck’ we are not wholly free, free to be our self! Part of our self got lost in some horrid emotional ‘prison’ of stinky, toxic self beliefs and dodgy, often painful feelings.

Let me speak to you again about more of this, because emotional and psychological suffering is huge amongst us humans and is truly a huge subject for us all to consider.

Next time I’d like to talk with you about ‘Why?’ we got ‘stuck’ in time and then about: how we can move towards true and real freedom, to be our self. Happy in our ‘own skin’ and free to grow in our potential……..
How to Find & Free Your Self & be Fully Happy ‘in your own skin’

A little bit more on the ‘why’ we got stuck next week – PLUS plenty for you on ‘how’ to be ‘unstuck’ AND free!

Thinking of you warmly
Sally

FIND & RESTORE YOUR OWN MO-JO:

July 28th, 2014

outstanding energy

WHEN YOUR ‘SELF’ FELT A HORIBBLE “OUCH”…….
Your parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicated to you:

“You are stupid – you are ugly – you are useless – you are a failure – you are unacceptable…………. you are a waste of space.” (You know theses communications hey? You can add to my list!)

Hearing this stinky stuff – or sometimes seeing it in a glare from an eye – You feel a horrid, painful ‘Ouch’

Add a few ‘Ouches’ together, and like a sum, they can become a big ‘Ouch’ and your self – your real, beautiful, bright, useful, acceptable self goes into hiding, withdraws.

YOUR ‘SELF’ LOSES YOUR MO-JO!
Your self often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding. Your MoJo – becomes hidden unavailable. Why would our self hide our MoJo? Simplistically, we hide our MoJo as an attempt to protect our self from more ‘Ouches’

A kind of ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real, beautiful, bright, useful, acceptable self.

The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from wrong communications, (which caused an ‘Ouch’), from parents, teacher, friend, sibling.

By the way, seeing thru’ the wrong communications does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend, teacher, sibling……. We can know the truth: “this person, these people, were wrong – AND – they also have good qualities & intentions.

So why would you bother to restore your self to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony, by you discovering how to do this? So that your self can and will experience a fulfilled life.
Because when our self is withdrawn, holding back, in hiding we are living a half life.
So how can you begin to restore your self to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

FIND & RESTORE YOUR OWN MO-JO!
Get started on one of my half an hour a day for forty days courses on Cd or MP3 download or available soon on beautifully packaged memory stick. Money back guarantee.
Have a look at the website www.sally-stubbs.com

Is this a sales pitch?

Absolutely it is!

Why?

Because I have a dream to end all emotional suffering, I know we can achieve this by restoring the right & rightful control back to the ‘self’.

There’s a sample track, from each of my half an hour a day for 40 days courses, as a delicious ‘taster’ for you, on You Tube.

WHEN YOU ‘LOSE’ A FRAGMENT OF YOUR SELF & YOUR MO-JO ‘LOSES’ POWER….
When you ‘lose’ a fragment of your self, that is a ‘fragment’ of your self that suffered several “Ouches” – you will at some point start to suffer with a symptom or even more than one symptom, such as nervousness, lack of self esteem & confidence, feeling stressed & therefore chronic worrying, insomnia, not having the strength to say “NO!” to extra food and yo-yoing with your weight, feeling frightened……….. All these symptoms are telling you that you’ve ‘lost’ a fragment of your self. Which symptom is letting you know – you need to find, free & heal a ‘fragment’ of your self from ‘where’ your self became lost as a protection from more and bigger “Ouches!”

FIND YOUR SELF – & BE YOUR REAL, BEAUTIFUL SELF
I did ‘the course’ nearly 30 years ago. I know how my self suffered when ‘it’ was hiding.
Why 40 days?
Why half an hour a day?
– This is not fast food therapy – this is lasting – your self needs real nourishment to feel safe to be free – to be your ‘self’.

You will comfortably find and restore your self. Your self has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do what you want.

Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one.
He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.” Although he is a successful business man, and he has two university Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really, really stupid.
I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.”
This was Jon’s belief. Beliefs are not the truth – they control us from inside – The belief took Jon half an hour a day for 10 days of the 40 day course to untangle, differentiate, and then resolve & change. We cannot change the density of a self belief by suddenly saying every day: “I’m really clever & I’m really bright” The belief “I’m stupid” is still there churning away
He did my half an hour a day for 40 days CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found & freed his self!

Contact me if you would like my advice on which one of my courses is for you: on my private email sally@sally-stubbs.com      I am here to help.

Once we find and restore our self to ‘it’s’ rightful place, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space’ – Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ into our living room!!

Thinking of you warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

 

YOUR JOURNEY:

July 21st, 2014

Borrowdale from Castle Crag As promised – more on Aaron & his Wilderness.

Be warned, Aaron does swear quite a lot here! Which you’ll realise, when you read, is understandable in his situation. Aaron is aged 35 – he went off into ‘his Wilderness’ to sort out his problem. He’d recently fallen in love, though it did take him a while to admit it.

And the problem he needed to sort out is that whenever he got close to a woman he’d run ‘a million’ miles.

“I’ve woken up, because someone is screaming – very loudly.
Christ – It’s me!

Thoughts are floundering round in my bellowing brain. I’m trying to think normal.

What the fuck? My leg is buried under stone. Great lumps of stone and debris all over me and the sleeping bag.
Jeeze – the pain.
I Black out.

The gale force wind finally came, bringing down the last bit of roof and half the remaining walls, and I was asleep and now I’m underneath it.

I’m levering stone off me. Blacking out again.

Why the hell didn’t I book into some inviting wayside Inn!

Not a good time for self recrimination.

Slowly, slowly peel off the sleeping bag.
Easy, easy.
That was definitely me screaming. It’s a bad break, right across both ankle bones – and dislocation.

Can’t get help – left the damn mobile with the bike.

Definitely not a time for self recrimination.

Got the rest of the stones off me – taken hours.

Dug the rucksack out.

Pulled the biking boot over the break – That Was The Worst.
Can’t do the zip up on the boot.

Found my knife without too much of a horror show – yeah, thanks God for the help with the knife – that was mighty friendly of You.

Cut open the leg of the leather trousers. Pull ‘em over the boot. Cut a spare T shirt into strips. Made a couple of splints with bits of wood from the old broken up door and bind the splints to the leg.
Leather jacket on. Gloves on.

I’ll start crawling.

I’m crawling, dragging myself along the ground on my elbows. Need to get to the road, the bike. Get the ‘phone. Got the rucksack on my back – got food, knife, water, slug of Whiskey.
Hard ground frost.
Blacking out.
Crisp cold tunnels of rusty coloured frost crusted ferns. Heather beaten by the climate to a sharp, frazzled, unyielding frozen forest at the level of my eyes. Grouse flying up protesting loudly.
Hey birds, my mind whirls, for fucks sake – Tell someone I’m here.

I’m edging round rocks as big as removal vans.

The air I‘m trying to suck in feels rigid. Bastard – must have broken a rib or two.

The relentless sky howls at me – “You’re at the end of your line.” Not me mate, I don’t give up that easily.

How long have I been crawling across this moor-land? Four hours at a guess. What does the watch say? How many miles have I come in four hours? Not many. Not enough.

I could get pneumonia. Not good to get pneumonia.

My brain is doing weird shit things – it’s dicking around with me – I keep thinking I’m somewhere cosy. Must battle against the cosy stuff. What’s all that about? Fuck – could mean I’m starting to suffer from exposure.
Can’t have been out here long enough – can I? What did I learn about exposure and hypothermia on the paramedics’ courses?

Hallucinations.

Blacking out.

Cornea of the eyes may freeze. Body shutting down. Can be fatal. Boogafuckin’ loo, I could be dying.

Gotta think straight.

I’m gonna crawl back – get some kind of shelter from the remaining chunks of bothy wall. Light a fire. Can’t stay out in the open all night. Won’t make it to the road.
What’re my chances?
OK – Someone might see the fire. Anyone in their right minds won’t be out here on these isolated moorlands – in this weather! I doubt the fire will get spotted, not even hardy farmers get up here, they’ve got no reason. Farmers got more sense than my bollock brain has – to be out here.

So much for my ‘Wilderness plan’ sorting me & ‘my baggage’ out!”

True Story from my soon to be published Amazing Book “Frayed Edges……..”

And Aaron could have sorted his problem with my half an hour a day for 40 days Audio Therapy – on CD, MP3 download or flash drive Have Harmonious Relationships – in his own home!

Great Story though, even though the big question is: Does Aaron live?

Thinking of you Warmly – from the cosiness of our home……

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy – ‘ Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

YOU & ‘THE WILDERNESS’

July 14th, 2014

wildernessWhat is Your Wilderness? Where is Your Wilderness?
Traditionally ‘our wilderness’ is a place we go – to find the Hero within our self – and sort the ‘baggage’!

Historically and in our legends we literally ‘go off to the desert’ – we ‘climb to the top of the mountain’ – we ‘trudge the road less travelled’ to discover our self & find our ‘own redemption’

I do understand when loads of us say: “Who – ME! I ain’t got ‘’baggage’” Yet ‘millions’ of us can’t sleep – then we wake up feeling hopeless & down – feel nervousness – are frightened – don’t feel safe – cant’’ say “NO!” – worrying relentlessly – are stressed – and as for relationships ???

Relationships are my Huge Passion – to have Happy Harmonious Relations – with our ‘self’ first – then of course – others, is primary, up there in my mind & heart. I’m not naive here!! We can disagree with others – and have a Rant – all with the intention to create more Harmony.

A Modern Day Wilderness – to Resonate with You

“Aaron literally ‘went off into his wilderness’:

Here’s the beginning of his story, in his words, to really tantalize you:

“Shit! Some big part of me is on the run….
I collect the gear from the ‘van, pack it into a rucksack and lash it to the motor bikes pillion. I switch off the mobile and put it in the small compartment under the seat. I won’t need it where I’m going but I may as well have it.
I check the bike tyres are OK and ride north hard and fast into the forbidding winter’s night.
The weather is ominous and stormy, the roads slippery, treacherous in places, serious concentration required.
The wind cutting sharply against my leathers blows in my mind, stirring up the waters of a deep dark well, lifting ‘ghosts’ from the past up to the surface.
Lancelot: my imagined name for my bike (like I’m a bit of a knight – which I keep to myself!) carries me and my memories to a primitive, hauntingly beautiful place in the Highlands of Scotland, where the sky comes down to meet the curve of the earth; where cloud drifts in tendrils waist high and the landscape is wonderfully bare and austere.
I park up the bike.
I’d been on this deserted one track road a few years ago. I like to find different ways to ride back to my ‘van when I’ve been working in the North Sea.
I’d once camped overnight near here hoping to spot capercaille, a rare woodland grouse; the Highlands are the only place in the UK where you can see them.
I’m planning on finding the derelict farm building I used that time.
I’m going to need some kind of shelter tonight.
I hike seven or eight miles across the moor-land, horizontal rain at my back, my torch light a narrowing, frazzled bouncing path ahead of me. I am feeling calm. The kind of dead still calm that can precede a tumultuous storm.
My memory serves me right, I find the deserted building. The wooden door has parted from its hinges; most of the stone walls have collapsed. Part of the roof is sort of intact; it’s hanging like a limp sail clinging to a remaining corner of the walls, waiting for the gale force wind which will finally free it ~then take it off.
But bollocks to it, the bothy looks much the same as it did when I was here a few years back so I figure it will last the night out.
Accommodation choices are seriously limited now anyway!
Tough moor-land grasses grow tenaciously where people once lived. There’s nothing for miles. Nice.
I unpack my rucksack, collect some miraculously dry-ish wood from the old shattered door and roof joists and light a fire in the one sheltered corner.
I’ve had some food and a modest slug of Whiskey from the hip flask; that and the blaze are getting through to my bones. I’m still calm, but sharper in my head, no longer weary from the concentration of the ride and the hike in the pissing rain…….”

Find out what happens next – next week!

True Story! Taken from my soon to be published Amazing Book – “Frayed Edges…”

And in the meantime  – if you don’t have the transport or time to travel to your ‘wilderness’ to discover and find your ‘self’ – have a look at my ‘Have Harmonious Relationships – half an hour a day for 40 days. It’s a Fun journey (as Gary says) And you don’t even have to leave home!

Here’s to you finding your ‘self’.           

Warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
 
‘Cures that Endure’

 

FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR ‘SELF’

July 7th, 2014

 

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Rapha Therapy

RAPHA – P is for Psycho-Physical:

You can Clean Up – all those negative debilitating beliefs – that actually do not belong to your real Authentic self.
You can find what you ‘lost’ that is really important to your ‘self.’
You can free & release the fragment of your self that got ‘stuck’ – feels ‘trapped’ in that awful emotional ‘Ground Hog Day’ – the old – ‘same damn thing over & over again.

I did!
You can.
How?

Well one thing you can do is take the ‘journey’ that I took – though your ‘journey’ will be unique to you, to your needs and wants – and to your own Authentic Beautiful Dream.
Your ‘journey’ across your ‘page’ will be different to my ‘page’!

What Do We Have in Common with Each Other?
We have in common with each other – our psycho-physical responses – to our own negative debilitating beliefs.
Responses – to ‘what we lost’ somewhere – sometime in our life. Responses to ‘where’ in time we got ‘stuck’ or ‘trapped’
Such as: Our throat starts tightening. Our stomach begins churning. We wake up feeling a heaviness. There’s a pounding in our chest. Suddenly we’re sweating at the very thought of………. We’re trembling…….. Our voice isn’t working………… And so on……

We Need…………RAPHA.
Resilient Amalgamation of Psychophysical Healing Approaches

Which will thoroughly & permanently Resolve – the tightening – the churning – the sweating – the fearful feeling – the pounding…….
All these feelings, which our body really does feel – are Awful – truly Awful.
I know! I’ve been there.
And these feelings really do prevent us Celebrating Life – our life. Your life.

I RANT!
I believe I actually rant on your behalf – at least on behalf of those who suffer – and cannot be free of problems to really

Celebrate Life.

The reason I rant is that a huge percentage of Therapeutic Strategies available, and there’s a mass market of them out there – cause me excruciating horror – because they do not achieve Valid Lasting Success – and a real freeing from suffering.
We’ve been advised a number of times to put up our prices on my half an hour a day for 40 days Audio Therapy Courses.
We’re not going to!

Wishing you freedom.

Sally
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

WHAT MIGHT YOU HAVE LOST?

June 30th, 2014
Borrowdale Valley: Keswick

Borrowdale Valley: Keswick

You Might Be Wondering……..

How you can relate in a way that will be truly positive and useful to you – or to someone you dearly care about; to ‘Sarah’s’ Story of her ‘Lost Hope’. Well: whatever it is you may have ‘lost’ during your life’s experiences it is likely that you will need that lost something to really achieve Your Authentic, Valid, Real, Beautiful Dream.

 WHATEVER YOU LOST YOU CAN FIND……..
Maybe you also ‘lost’ your hope, or was it your enthusiasm, or your own self belief – or something similar?

Ask Your Self this Simple Question
This question will help you Find – what it is you ‘lost’ that you need to recover in order to achieve your Authentic Beautiful Dream:

And – when I lost my (hope, enthusiasm, self belief whatever it was….) whereabouts did I ‘lose’ it?
Whereabouts could it be?”

‘Sarah’ answered “I ‘lost’ all my hope in the kitchen that day…..when my husband was yelling & shrieking………”

Whatever it was for you it may not have all got’ lost’ at once – it may have fragmented – and ‘gone away’ during a number of experiences for you. Let the question help you find the fragments.

ONCE YOU FIND WHAT YOU ‘LOST’
Ask your ‘self’ – “And – what could it be like when it got ‘lost’? You’ll discover your own metaphor – and connect with what you’ve ‘lost’ through it.

Like ‘Sarah’:

Q:And – when your hope was ‘lost’ in the kitchen that day – what could your hope be like?”
A: “It’s like a mist floating around.”

Q: (you can just keep asking a few times And – what else could there be about….?) “And – what else could there be about a mist that’s floating around?
A: “It’s green & shimmering.”

Q:And – what else could there be about your hope that’s a mist that’s green & shimmering?”
A: “It’s like green shimmering sparkly gossamer –  I want to wear it again.”

‘Sarah’ wears her hope once again – like green shimmering gossamer.

Truly it can be that easy.

And that’s one of the reasons that ‘Sarah’ is now – and will continue to be sparkly – instead of depressed.

REUNITE YOUR SELF WITH WHAT YOU ‘LOST’
Reuniting with what you ‘lost’ – enables you to achieve Your Authentic Beautiful Dream – My easy to learn Audio Courses – Guide you to do this.

I was going to talk this week about the ‘psycho-physical’ aspect of my RAPHA System to Successfully & Permanently Achieve your Beautiful Dream.

I got carried away today with my Mission to Guide you to Find what you ‘lost’! Next week hey!

Wishing you reunited with what you ‘lost’ that you need to Achieve Your Own Beautiful Dream’.
Oh and the 20% discount off all my courses finishes at the end of June: check them out here.

Warmly

Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
‘Cures that Endure’

 

‘AMALGAMATION’

June 23rd, 2014

mushrooms 2Here’s a Poignant and Hopeful Story for Us All.
‘Sarah’ came to me and requested I help her to Resolve her Depression.
She has asked me to share her ‘Story’ with everybody – she wants her story to help others.
‘Sarah’ is aged 40. She told me she had been depressed for nearly 10 years since her marriage finally broke up.
We Worked together for 4 Sessions – each time ‘moving’ towards her Resolutions. This brief Story is of her ‘Defining’ Session with me.

We All Need Hope

Before I tell ‘Sarah’s’ ‘Defining Story’ – I’ll just mention that she had told me, she’d met her husband fallen utterly in love and within less than a year they married.
Almost immediately he turned into a horribly verbally abusive man. She knew the man she had met and married was a really good man – and she’d lived in hope that he would feel so securely loved by her that this ‘really good man’ would return to her.

Here’s the ‘Story’ that ‘Sarah’ wants to share with you.
I’d asked her a few ‘Clean Question’ (this means Questions that make no assumptions, do not give prescription, or advice and are not authoritarian or directive.)

Sarah had been quiet for a few moments – when she said to me –
“I was just having a strange memory – but it doesn’t mean anything to me, I think it’s really not worth bothering with”
I asked: “And – when you were just having a strange memory – and you think it’s not worth bothering with – what do you know about that strange memory you were just having?”
‘Sarah’: “I am in the kitchen. My husband is in the other room with our little boy – he’s only aged 3. My husband is yelling and shrieking at our little boy…… Then our son comes running to me in the kitchen…………..”
A couple more times I ask the Question: “And – what else could there be about any of that?”
Sarah’s narrative flows for a while – then suddenly she gasps – “Whilst my husband was yelling and shrieking – my hope was lost!”

Let’s Find Your Hope

This moment was not simply the loss of hope of love – from the once really good man she’d known – this was the almost total loss of hope.
We can say that no hope in life is a pretty depressing place to be.
We found ‘Sarah’s’ Hope – and Hope was restored within her.
See her now she’s sparkly……
Your Hope is a Helper – in Achieving Your ‘Beautiful Dream’
Maybe next week a few of the details of ‘how’ we found her Hope will interest you and be of value to you – or to a friend or loved one.
We found and restored ‘Sarah’s’ Hope – by ‘Amalgamation’:
A combining, a uniting – of multiple Therapeutic Strategies into one pure form – and the finding and recovering of something precious.
And this is what I’ve fiercely strived for and achieved in my RAPHA THERAPY AUDIO COURSES.

Remember the RAPHA acronym?

Resilient     (Which I discussed last week)
Amalgamation  of
Psycho-physical
Healing
Approaches

My Hope for you and for all of us is that you will
Sucessfully Achieve Your Own Beautiful Authentic Dream

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

‘RESILIENT’

June 16th, 2014

resilient Let’s talk about – Being ‘Resilient’

What a ‘Top Banana’ Word!

Why bother? You may be asking!

Well: us being Resilient is something special which you, me, our friends & loved ones have in common.

We are all Resilient!
Here’s a few dictionary definitions:
1. Readily recovering from shock, depression etc.
2. Feisty, Buoyant, Quick to recover.
3. Quickly becoming healthy, happy, or strong again.
4. Able to return to original shape. Physics: a substance or object that is resilient and able to return to it’s original shape.

YOU ARE RESILIENT
Me too! And our friends & loved ones – we garner our inner strengths to attempt valiantly to ‘bounce back into shape’ and become our ‘buoyant’ self once again – after the ‘stinky’ things that happen and ‘get into’ us.

MY HEART ‘BREAKS’
I am privileged to hear thousands of stories (in my therapy practice) of the great courage we have to be Resilient. And I am truly privileged to hear the stories. From the wounding of ‘a glare from a person’s eyes’, to the ‘powerful’ and sometimes repeated ‘disempowering’ experiences which can result in a deep embedded belief: “I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve to be happy”.

All our human stories of ‘pain’ are ‘heart’ breaking. And I have immeasurable respect for our intrepid attempts to be Resilient – to return our self to our original shape.

WE ARE NOT LIKE A FILM SEQUENCE!
Sometimes we can be – like the film sequence – when something heavy & ‘crushing’ comes along and ‘batters’ us, knocks us out of shape – we do Resiliently ‘bounce’ back and ‘carry on.’

But – so often we are a different ‘shape’ to what we were ‘born to be’ We ‘carry’ within us – the ‘wound’ from the ‘glare from a person’s eyes’ – we ‘carry’ the ‘burden’ of the belief “I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve to be happy” These ‘burdens’ do not belong to us – they are the ‘stains’ – sometimes ‘huge heavy stains’ which enter our ‘Pristine Mansion’ They then manifest in our life as the fears, the anger, the sleeplessness, the stressing and worrying – the ‘not saying “NO!”………….

And also sometimes we leave a part of our self ‘behind’ – where we got ‘crushed’ or ‘battered’ on the ‘road’. We can never be our ‘Pristine shape’ when we – Unconsciously – leave a part of our self behind.

Next week I have ‘Sarah’s’ Story for you – she left a vital part of herself ‘behind’ – She left her ‘hope’ ‘behind’ her ‘on the road’ – her story will resonate poignantly with us all. It ‘broke’ my ‘heart’!

WE HAVE RAPHA FOR YOU
About 12 years ago I was presenting a series of Workshops – Late one winter’s night – I was driving home form a Workshop with a dear friend & colleague. She had been supervising alongside me. She’s such a feisty girl! She Exclaimed: “What do you call this Therapy Work? Do you call it ‘Sally’s healing stew!!’?”

“No – it’s called RAPHA. The Hebrew for Healing. And there needs to be ‘pure’ ingredients added to being Resilient to achieve permanent Authentic Real Valid Results – which is the:

Resilient
Amalgamation of
Psychophysical
Healing
Approaches.

Before we can ‘Bounce Back Buoyantly’ to the ‘shape’ we were born to be – we need to Heal the ‘wounds’ from the glare from a person’s eyes – we need to deconstruct the deep ‘driving’ belief “I don’t deserve to live. I don’t deserve to be happy” And we need to find if we have left part of our self ‘behind on the road.’
It is my life’s Work:

We lit the log fire at home that night – then talked ‘til the early hours – of my rigorous development of RAPHA – half an hour a day for 40 days to your Transformation. Transforming back to your ‘born to be’ state of being at one with your self & at one with your inner world.
Have you bounced back? Please let me know, I love reading your stories: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

 

THE PAIN OF THE STAIN:

June 10th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

You Can Fully Resolve What is Stopping You – Being Your Extraordinary ‘Self’

Let us recap together:

So: what is it exactly that stops us being the Extraordinary Self we were Born to Be?

What stops us are the ‘stains’ – which really we never wanted or needed that have ‘invaded’ our ‘Pristine Mansion’
‘Stains’ – that create the ‘stink’ of the ‘painful’ lack of self esteem, the nervousness & fears, the not sleeping, the ‘ground hog day’ of worrying & stressing, the ‘I can’t say “No!”, the horrid anger that explodes onto others & implodes into our heart, our guts…..the painful isolation, the ‘no-one gets me’, & so on & so on…………

The ‘Pain’ makes us so alone.
The isolation of the ‘Pain’.
The dread of the ‘Pain’ being there – on & on…….
So alone.
Remote – even from our Self.
The hope of swallowing that ‘pill’ – that will make us feel better about our self.
The hope of thinking positive – breathing to be free of it all.
Feel better in our skin.
The hope we’ll speak up – say “No!” – sleep peacefully – join in – know we are welcomed – wake up to a new life…….
Then the despair – because we keep on waiting for the freedom to begin.
Whilst waiting – we cannot truly give – we cannot truly withhold.

You Can Engage Your Impassioned, Heartfelt Life!

I cannot ‘Polish’ your Amazing ‘Mansion’ for you!
Nor would I!

Some Therapists believe they can! They are Oh, so well meaning! “I’ll do it for you” they say. They want to help – of course they do but it is YOU who must work at changing your ‘self’.

Only you have rightful dominion in your ‘Mansion’ – your wondrous Unconscious mind.

I Guide you – You do the ‘Polishing’ and You restore your self to your rightful ‘Pristine’ state. And – You feel Empowered.

Half an hour a day – for 40 days to your transformation: don’t delay start today:
Now with 20% discount on all our courses throughout June:

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

THE HUMAN STAIN:

June 2nd, 2014
Hypnosis

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

 “The Human Stain” This is the title of a top selling awarding winning book by the highly acclaimed author Phillip Roth.
Mr. Roth – forgive me – I want to borrow your amazing title.

Your ‘Pristine Mansion’.
I am Certain that you and I, all of us, were born with the ‘Mansion’ of our Unconscious Mind – Pristine!
I’ve made invitation for you to argue with me before – so please, please do! sally@sally-stubbs.com

So: as long as we are warm, comfortable, safe from the ‘tiger’ and we are emotionally secure – as infants & youngsters – our Unconscious Mind – my metaphor being our ‘Pristine Mansion’ – grows beautifully and ‘immeasurably’ expansively as we, with great happy, safe curiosity, explore & experience life, our potential and our Amazing world.

Our mind-emotional suffering comes from the times and experiences when ‘something’ enters our ‘Pristine Mansion’ and causes a ‘stain’ which creates a ‘stink’ – Here, in my letter to you, I am not going into the horrendous mind-emotional suffering of such symptoms as let’s say delusional psychoses. I just want to talk about the mind-emotional ‘pain’ (yes: it is ‘painful’) – such as the lack of self esteem, the nervousness, the fears, the painful anger, the feeling like a ‘door mat’, the worrying & stressing, the not being able to say “No!”………………….

It’s important to have big, Authentic, Real, Valid dreams for your future. After all, failing to plan is planning to fail. So if you can’t think big about your future, you’re not going to have a very big future. Big, of course, means a dream that takes you farther than where you are today. Success can be defined in many ways, and I’m not telling you how to define it. I’m simply saying to take your definition of success and raise the bar on it.

So whatever big thing you’re thinking about doing, think bigger! Ask yourself, “What is even bigger than what I’m thinking, because that’s what I really want to do?” That’s how you raise the bar far higher on yourself. There is always a bigger big. If you can’t imagine it, you will never achieve it.

Chose To Be Extraordinary!
You’ve read about or even seen extraordinary people. It could be a world leader working for a global cause, a business person revolutionizing an industry, or the person down the street helping to make life better for people in the community. Often, when we hear of these extraordinary people, we think: “I could never do that because I’m just an average person.”

In reality, there is no such thing as an average person; there is only average thinking. You can be extraordinary! The key is to realize that being extraordinary is a personal choice you make every day. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rich or financially struggling, whether you’re male or female, whether you’re old or young, or whether you fit into any other categories. Anyone can choose to be extraordinary—especially you!

Every day make the choice to be extraordinary at whatever it is you’re planning to do. It’s a daily decision.

You Can Fully Resolve What is Stopping You
Being Your Extraordinary Self

So, what is it exactly that stops us being the Extraordinary Self we were Born to Be?

 What stops us is the ‘stains’ – which really we never wanted or needed to ‘invade’ our ‘Pristine Mansion’.

 ‘Stains’ – that create the ‘stink’ of the lack of self esteem, the nervousness & fears, the not sleeping, the ‘ground hog day’ of worrying & stressing and so on…………

 We want you to up the bar – in the exact right way for you – we want you to be your extraordinary self – so as:
“June is ‘Bustin’ Out All Over – all over the meadow & the hill…… just because it’s June, June, June – Fresh alive……”

 We’ll stay all the month with our 20% off all our half an hour a day – for 40 days Audio Therapy Courses – to thoroughly ‘Polish’ to Pristine your Amazing ‘Mansion’ its’ a fun journey – as Gary says – for the half an hour a day for 40 days…………….

 Have an Extraordinary June……………… and an Extraordinary rest of your Amazing life……..

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

POLLY DOESN’T SING!

May 28th, 2014

 

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Pattern Interruption

A quick re-cap: Pattern Interruption Works beautifully to gain Authentic and permanent results to symptoms – such as the nervousness, the fears, the not sleeping, the inappropriate anger – and so on – when we are Working our way ‘across our page’ – to achieve our Goal Successfully.

Pattern Interruptions of course will not ‘stand alone’ – they will only Work alongside other Right Strategies – to successfully achieve our Goal – whatever our Goal such as: to sleep well: to be calm: to be confident: to be happy: to congruently say “No!” – to relate harmoniously to our self & others.

The Pattern Interruption Strategies – will finally – end – the same ‘damn’ debilitating, invalidating patterns of negative beliefs – that daily ‘haunt’ our life, that daily play round & round in our mind.

I feel sure many of you reading this are professional people.
I know that most of the professional bodies require their members to carry out Continued Professional Development.

Have you considered that you can use one of my audio therapy courses as ‘self-directed learning’ in your Personal Development Plan?

So: from Gaining Self Confidence to Engendering Harmonious Relationships to Curing Insomnia and Solving Stress – hence performing better, all my courses are applicable to your professional development. They take half an hour a day for 40 days – effortless and fun!

Win – Win’ for you and your employer whilst satisfying your professional body.

Please accept my gift – “Let the Breeze Blow In” – It’s a ‘taste’ of what I do – plus it’s very ‘nourishing’ for you. It lasts just over 20 minutes. Take these 20 minutes just for yourself – and ‘polish’ your amazing ‘Mansion’ of your wonderful Unconscious Mind.

Enjoy.

‘Polly’ Doesn’t ‘have’ to Sing!

‘Polly’ had been feeling anxious. ‘Polly’ has been Working ‘across the page’.

-‘the page’: On the left hand side is written ‘the problem’ on the right hand side is written ‘The Goal’ – the journey ‘across the page’ attends to the details in the Right Way of the ‘blocks’ to what has stopped us in the past from achieving our Goal. This ‘journey’ will achieve successful permanent, positive results.

Last week ‘Polly’ and I spoke. ‘Pattern Interruption’’ was to be one of the strategies. ‘Polly’ decided to warn everyone at work to be prepared for some sudden unannounced outbursts of loud raucous singing!

We spoke again today, a week on – It’s been a week free of negative belief thought patterns. A week completely free of anxiety for ‘Polly’.

The really funny thing is: ‘Polly’ told his mind: “if you have any of those daft thoughts again – I’m going to sing very loudly – even at work!”

He didn’t have to sing – he didn’t have any of those thoughts! What fun is that! And No – ‘Polly’ wasn’t embarrassed to sing out loud – he’s a professional singer – musician – entertainer!

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Therapy Treatment – ‘Cures that Endure’

WHAT A STINK!

May 19th, 2014
Hypnosis

Using hypnotherapy to resolve your anger

 

What is the ‘Right Way’ to ‘Clean Up the ‘Muck’ in Our Unconscious Mind?

My allegory is that our Unconscious Mind is like our ‘Beautiful Mansion’, it’s our ally, our friend.
Our Unconscious Mind wants us to be in optimum mind-body health and for that reason we must treat it like the most precious thing in the world. It wants us to Resolve ‘the muck’ – that ‘got in’, uninvited during difficult times in our life, and causes us to feel nervous, or fearful, or not sleep well, or be always worrying – feeling like a ‘door mat’ not able to say “No!”………..
So the two questions that I want to ask you are:
How serious are you about Restoring your Greatest Ally, your Unconscious Mind to its Intended Pristine State?
And: Are you ready to take charge, Resolve the ‘muck’, & Restore your ‘Beautiful Mansion’, your Unconscious Mind, and essentially add years of happiness & fulfillment on to your life?

Because if you are, and I know that you can, I can help you do just that.

Here’s a valuable Story for us from a lady who I will call Jay:

“Dear Sally

I saw your audio course end anger a couple of years ago! Two things I thought: One, I’ve tried therapy to sort my anger, I’ve tried anger management. Nothing helped. So what’s the point in me trying anything else. Two, your title “end anger” bugged me! Excuse my language Sally but I didn’t want to bl**dy well End it. Partly because I did not know how to live without anger, it had been part of me for nearly all my life. It took me 2 years to decide to give your course a go. Wished I hadn’t waited!

Here’s my story: My Dad was a smashing person. He looked after me and he looked out for me. I had a nice time. Until I was 9. Out the blue one day he packed a bag & left. Just like that. I did not ‘get it’ No explanations from anyone. I didn’t have space in me to be sad. I was filled up with anger. Didn’t hear from him for over 20 years. When he tried to make contact, I was in my 30’s then, I said: ‘it’s too late’

I knew I wanted to be rid of crazy anger. Anger that burst out at any handy person, or the dog, or the sofa, or pots and pans. The anger that also got stuck inside my stomach.

“Why am I bothering to begin Sally’s half an hour a day for 40 days course to end anger?” I asked myself, when I felt I don’t want to End Anger.

I don’t know how but during the forty days I felt I could connect with the furious 9 year old kid I used to be, and let that part of me know it was OK to have felt so angry. Then something mysterious happened I got calmer and calmer.

I know I couldn’t have done that without you.

Pots, pans, sofas, dogs and people are now safe around the calm me, for the first time in well over 30 years. The great thing is I know I’m likeable, that’s a special thing to know.

Thank you.”

Jay spoke to me – without my prompting her, she said that over the years her uncontrollable out bursts had caused her to become more & more isolated and miserably lonely. She believed no one cared about her. She believed she was unlovable. Not to mention suffering with high blood pressure!

No amount of the traditional methods of relaxations, visualisations, suggestions to be calm, suggestion to love everyone, love the dog, love the sofa, no amount of affirmations to ‘be calm’ would have made the changes in the Right way for Jay, or for any one else actually……

My wish for you is that you’ll want to begin on ‘polishing’ your ‘Beautiful Mansion’ this is my Dream for you. ‘Spring Clean’ time maybe? Our May offer has 20% off all our half an hour a day for 40 days audio courses.

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs     sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

 

AND NOW FOR SOMETHING ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ………………………….PEEPING & TOOTING

May 12th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 Time for an Intrepid Story!
One of mine
Are You Sitting Comfortably ………………. Then I’ll Begin

I was really ill as a child – I spent loads of time in hospitals – which for me – was absolute Cr*p! According to my family – I’ve never checked – I had a near death experience – when I was in hospital age 16 months! That experience I can tell you made me a very weird child!!

And I had strange ‘memories’ even from such a young age – of kind of ‘not being here’.

“Sally lives on another planet – just ignore her” is what they’d say! They were right – I suppose. I was ‘somewhere else’ – sitting ‘up a tree’ observing.

I observed my little brother.

Aged about 4 he was a deep sea diver. Swimming around in deep water (behind the sofa) breathing through a piece of string in his mouth cunningly attached to an oxygen tank tied to his back (an ‘empty’ lemonade bottle.)

He made these peeping & hooting sounds, relevant to deep sea diving of course. I became fond of those sounds. Other children would run around and make noises & throw things whilst I sat ‘up the tree’, because I was scared & nervous and couldn’t say “NO!”

One day I mentioned, with fondness, the peeping & hooting to my Bros. He said: “ – ‘I’ll go to the foot of our stairs’ our kid – ‘you’re out of your tree’!” I was aged 34! I was quick enough to say: “It wasn’t my ‘tree!’”

I’d just completed my journey ‘across my page’ – to discover and achieve my own Authentic Beautiful Dream – to sleep – to be calm, to be happy, to say “NO!” – Happy!

SO: through my life I have had loads of time to be an observer – and I KNOW what I knew and still do know –      the Mind can Heal.

Oh – I did Know – as a kid – the Mind can Heal… Then I knew I’d got to be sensible and study ! That’s Ok – I’ve enjoyed it – the ‘conforming’ to study – and also retaining the Noumenal Knowing what I’ve Known from being a weird Kid! The Mind can Heal through the Right Auspices.

That’s why we named my Work – RAPHA:
RESILIENT
AMALGAMATION of
PSYCHO-PHYSICAL
HEALING
APPROACHES

There’s this phrase: “Strong at the broken places” It could be true for most of us!

Being scared and often terrified in hospitals gave me at least two Strengths. My mind & brain cannot be naive – everything I’ve rigorously studied & researched within my profession – I have to Ensure will gain the Right results for individuals – achieving their Own Authentic, Valid, Real Beautiful Dream.

And the second big strength for me – I have – as Lyn says on one of our You Tube videos, “Enormous Compassion”

The Strategies that I experienced ‘across my page’ I have ‘polished’ and ‘fine tuned ‘over many, many years to incorporate into my effortless half an hour a day for forty days – Therapy courses. As Gary says: on another of my video’s “It’s a Fun Journey”.

Mike, Judith & I – here at ‘Sally Stubbs’ – are so buzzing with Spring this year – here by the gorgeous River Greta – all kinds of baby wild life buzzing around. Four fluffy baby ducklings the size of a golf ball – sit on the door step each morning waiting for breakfast to be served by us! So amusing and ‘heart’ smiling!

We want you or your friend or your beloved – to Spring ‘across the page’ — and begin a ‘new life’ – living your Authentic Beautiful Dream – so – we’ve taken 20% off all my ‘Half an hour a day for forty days’ – Therapy courses on CD or MP3. Please do get in touch if you want to learn more: I am here to help.

We all have our Story – important Story to tell – our own ‘Heroes Journey’.

Just email me your Story: sally@sally-stubbs.com  and I’ll be delighted to include it in my letters.

Our Stories give each other inspiration.
I’m glad to say my little Brother is still ‘peeping & hooting’ around the world and he dives!

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs    sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

THINK…….. THEN YOU CAN……..

May 7th, 2014

Once Your Unconscious Thinks – You Can – You’re Right – You Can!

 So: let’s really ‘get on’ and attentively discuss; Paying the Right Attention to the Unconscious – from where we were last week with the: “I Can!”
You see: Your Unconscious Responses to your “I Can!” Are Unique to you – Unique to your vast, exclusive to you, life’s experiences.
The DSM* – cannot categorize your, mine, or anyone else’s ‘problem’ state accurately – because our Problem States ‘reside’ in our Unique Unconscious Mind. So it is up to us – to individually ‘explore’ our own inimitable Unconscious Responses. Which is what my Courses do, they guide you to take your Unique Steps across Your Page.

So: because in the past couple of weeks – Judith, Mike & I have felt, particularly, so ‘alive’ Buzzing with Buzz of Spring Life Flourishing – here where the Banks of the River Greta are drenched in colour, bird song, baby creatures springing alive – we want everyone to have that ‘Spring in their step’ to ‘Spring across the page’ we have taken 20% off all My Courses on CD & MP3 – Oh and soon to be on a Gorgeous Useful Flash Drive. That’s exciting – the new Flash Drives!

*DSM:(The Diagnostic & Statistical Manual – of psychological illnesses)

By the way, I am very respectful of the need & use of the DSM – to mental health professionals.

I’m at present in discussion with a GP – who is specializing in Mental Well Being with a special interest in ADHD. He became interested in me – because he said he liked my invitation to “Provocative tea parties!” Here is part of a mail I received from him today:

“Medicine now is done by protocol, and over reliance on rigid diagnostic categories. Too often these categories become a Procrustean Bed – and we find ourselves metaphorically amputating parts of our patients in a desperate attempt to make them fit into one of our protocols – just so we can have the comfort of being seen to practice “evidence based idiocy”……..”

And, he continues:

“So, my “off time hobby” has become throwing a few provocative tea parties of my own – in an attempt to stir up some original thought!”

Hope you find his mail – as strongly provocative, challenging, stimulating as I certainly do!

 I Only Use Affirmations to Check on Any – Possible – Unconscious Resistance!

 You see, once we’ve Noted the Resistance – then we can do something to Resolve it.

 It’s Serious Work – not Quick Fix – however it is Rapid – compared to the massive amount of time our Symptoms take up in our amazing lives.

 Affirm – out loud – again – ‘Your Beautiful Dream’ – And as you speak out loud – Note with Great care & attention your very next thoughts & feelings – which may be your ‘blocks’, your Unconscious resistance to successfully achieving your Beautiful Dream.

 Note the details of your own “I Can’t!” Make a list – there are likely to be more than one!

 We cannot Resolve our “I Can’t’(s)!” with positive affirmations or visualisations. We need to take each “I Can’t!” one at a time – and ask that Question: “Where could that – one – have come from?” Exploring it – and finally being able to de-construct it.
Email me if you get ‘stuck’ – sorry no pun intended! I’ll be delighted to email you back and help you.

 This extract from one of many emails I’ve received recently – I hope – will give you lots of inspiration:

 “Hi Sally:

 Forty days ago I started a” fabulous journey” with you to unravel a deeply entrenched problem with insomnia. I had sought treatment with a hypnotherapist here where I live and had listened to various other recordings but all were designed to be listened to just before going to bed. Although I don’t rely on this awareness as much as I should I do realize the potential of the unconscious mind. It was my feeling that I should address this problem through hypnosis during the day and not at bedtime. This lead me to youtube where I listened to your sample track to deal with insomnia. I slept soundly that very night.

 I have enjoyed the process you’ve taken me through and have had a great result. So good in fact that I have been using some of the techniques I’ve learned and applying them to another problem.

  I have so appreciated your stories.

  All the best to you Sally and thank you so much.”

 You can see the details of my Cure Insomnia Course here.

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

Kevin Fernihough Radio Cumbria 1 May 2014 discussing phobias with me

May 1st, 2014

YOU CAN ……….

April 30th, 2014

 

Henry Ford

Henry Ford

 ‘Whether you think you can or you think you can’t – you’re right’ Henry Ford

When You Think You Can – You Can!
So how about we pause – just a few seconds for you to Wonder – upon your Beautiful Dream – Authentic Valid & Real.

As we’ve been discussing you ‘journeying across your page’ to Achieve what you want – for You – how come we so often don’t achieve, fully achieve, our Beautiful Dream – when we’re saying here: When You Think You Can – You Can!
So: what’s the problem? Because it seems if we ‘think’ – “I can achieve my Beautiful Dream – today – in an Authentic, Valid, Real – lasting way” then you can.

You can think your Dream – for example:
To stop being anxious, nervous, frightened…….
To stop having no, or little, self confidence.
To stop stressing and stop constantly ruminating.
To sleep well every night.
To say “NO!” and mean “NO!” – to too much food – to someone who ‘door mats’ me………
When You Think Your Beautiful Dream – You (have to) Think It Consciously!
We might think it – however, rarely do we pay the Right attention to our Unconscious Response.

I’ve ‘been there’! Before I ‘journeyed across my page’ I would get anxious about all kind of occasions, for example going to a party. Not the ‘sex drugs rock ‘n roll’ type!! Just something fun & enjoyable.
So, I’d consciously think, there’s no need to be anxious. I’d consciously think my Beautiful Dream: “I’ll have a Great time! I’ll meet someone ‘drop dead’ gorgeous & have an Amazing time. Oh Yeah!”
I’d arrive at the party & have a brutal time – and end up ‘wall flowering’ myself! Because……….
Our Unconscious Mind is ‘Thinking’ something Entirely Different!

We ignore our Unconscious Minds at our peril.
Our Unconscious Mind absolutely is the driving force behind our feelings, therefore our Behaviours. (A behaviour, for example ‘wall flowering’ our self!)

I’ve discovered – it’s taken me over 30 years to do so – the how to Communicate with our Unconscious Mind – elegantly, lastingly & easily. You too can do it.
Communicate with Your Unconscious Mind to Create Lasting Results of Your Beautiful Dream
You can Effortlessly Work with this Unconscious Communication Strategy:
(by the way we’re still Working ‘across your page’)

Take a few minutes – that’s all you need, to write again – ‘Your Beautiful Dream’. To be honest, at this stage we can’t write it too often! So let’s take my example: “I will go to the party.. I will meet someone ‘drop dead gorgeous’. I will have an Amazing time”
Once you’ve got your words for your Beautiful Dream, speak them slowly & out loud. The deal here is – you need to listen, with the wonderful sensitivity that I know you have, to your very next thoughts.
These very next thoughts are a huge ‘Key’ to you achieving ‘Your Beautiful Dream’. Your very next thoughts are Unconscious thoughts – and they will basically be responding with: “I can’t!!

You may well ‘go the party’ (as I did) – then ‘withdraw’. You may well say “NO!” to the food or to the person who has been ‘door matting’ you. You may sleep well for a few nights.

However the “I can’t!!” will eventually ‘block’ – again.

Next week we are going to explore, easily together, what is contained in your:
“I can’t” and how you can differentiate and Resolve your: “I can’t!!”
All the therapeutic audio courses I have recorded use the knowledge I have gained in how to communicate with the unconscious to bring about permanent resolution to problems.

Sally

Rapha Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

 

HERE IS THE RAINBOW YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR ………..

April 22nd, 2014

rainbow over DerwentwaterWhy do we spend so much time listening to music, reading literature, hearing myths?
We become transfixed in front of the TV. We are entranced by the ever changing nonlinear dynamics of stories that cause us to wonder.

Wonder – is understood to be an experience of being in a trance like state.

In that time of ‘altered’ consciousness, we have the potential to be transformed.
So, here I have a Cautionary Teaching Tale to make you wonder.
It is also a story about “Patten Interruption” a different strategy to the two we’ve been exploring in the past couple of weeks.

I told this story last year; however, Great Stories are worth repeating!

Are you sitting comfortably – then I’ll begin:

Mike & I met in February 1992. I fell in Love – immediately.
The ‘universe’ said: ‘Here is the rainbow you’ve been waiting for….’

Mike was working out of the country for most of that year.
He said come to Africa and join me in December – we’ll ‘go bush’ for a couple of months. Not everyone’s Dream – but it certainly was mine. Wild Camping in Africa!
A Journey of a life time.
For weeks I worked around the clock – to ensure all my Clients would be comfortable and OK for me to be away. I introduced them to my Dear Colleague & friend Georgina. Everyone loves Georgina and she deftly organized to take over my Practice for a few weeks. What a gift.
I was packing ready to leave for the airport – (ludicrously impractical shoes & underwear!), when ‘out of the blue’ I started to feel anxious.
My conscious mind ‘said’ ‘you’re being irresponsible – you cannot leave your Clients.’
Within seconds I’d picked up the phone – to speak to Mike in Cape Town to say I couldn’t possibly leave my Clients. I’d nearly dialed his number – when I thought: “Whoa – hang on a minute! What is going on here – I am very responsible!”
I sat down. I ‘listened’ to my thoughts. And soon I heard the ‘voices’ of my Mother and my Grandmother saying to me when I was a little girl: “You can’t have your cake & eat it!”
“You can’t have your cake & eat it!” – It’s a belief – it’s not the truth.

Time for “Pattern Interruption”

I instantly jumped up – & loudly said “I love you Mum I love you Nan”
And even louder I stated: “This is Rubbish. What is the point in having cake and not eating it! What’s more I am going to have loads of scrumptious, adventurous ‘cakes’ and eat the lot!”

Sitting on the ‘plane I reflected that my Dear Mum & Nan – had had loads of ‘cakes’ yet they rarely took a ‘bite’ of any of them. I appreciate that their injunction was well intentioned, probably a kind of protection of me from disappointment?
And that belief, which I’d consciously not realized I’d been ‘carrying’, instantly deconstructed.
I got ‘fat’ on cakes in Africa. I still do get ‘fat’ on cakes! And you know what, I realized that until December 1992 the ‘cakes’ I’d had I’d rarely taken more than a nibble of them!
Now here’s the Cautionary Tale: Mike & I had spent only a little time together that year. He told me if I’d have cancelled I would never have seen him again.
The power to change the path of our lives is contained in the irrational dynamics of such beliefs we unconsciously carry.
Some folks have said; ‘Oh well, if you’d cancelled Africa you’d have met someone else!’ Wrong! Call me naive if you want – but there’s no one else like Mike – and no one else for me.
True Story.
All my Rapha courses Work with rapid assignments and with specialised Teaching Tales to access these deep unconscious negative beliefs which ‘block’ our path to successfully achieving our Beautiful Valid, Real Dream.

All together now:
“I can see clearly now…….”
Thinking of you positively…………

Sally
P.S. You know: pretty much everybody you and I know and care about has some negative unconcious belief, like this one, that will hold them back or trip them up.
How about as a Gift, you forward this story to your friends.
Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com
Rapha Therapy System – Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com

I Can See Clearly NOW…………

April 17th, 2014

see clearly Good day to you.
I’ve got a few Gorgeous stories for you. Here are just a couple to nourish your heart:
I spoke to Susie on Tuesday afternoon – we talked through the value of ‘Pattern Interruption’. Susie is a wondrously strong, intelligent & kind person. Late last year, bless her, she experienced ‘Catastrophe’ – which is ‘the last straw that breaks the camel’s back’.
That ‘last straw’ for all of us, will cause us to ‘buckle’ and Susie thoroughly withdrew from life.
She’s been ‘journeying across her page’ – and on Tuesday, we came to ‘the point’ of the blocks of imposed destructive beliefs. And we went through the ‘Fast Track Shock Strategy’ of Pattern Interruption.
On Wednesday morning – at 6.24am – I received this email:
Dear Sally a big THANK YOU once again for your precious time and for listening to me yesterday. I can see clearly now (song in there……..) Brilliant – that has made me very, very happy and I shall commence the day in happiness
With love Susie. X”
Yea Hah! That’s not just ‘fast’ Susie, that’s Rapid!
By the way – this is one of my favourite songs. So I immediately sent Susie the You Tube link: here for you too.
I’ve got this Great, Whacky Idea that there’s a whole crowd of us today singing along with Jimmy Cliff – “its gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny day. Yes I can make it now… its gonna be a bright, bright sun shiny day……….”
And the other story – a feast of a ‘sweet’ delicacy for us:
A young Mother phoned me. She said she’d been working well with ‘Pattern Interruption’, along with other strategies I’ve explored with her, that she’s been working with ‘across her page’, she’d had a real breakthrough.
However the point of this story is, she said that her baby loves it, loves watching her doing ‘Pattern Interruption’.
Her baby just laughs & laughs! How sweet is that! I’m so enjoying that – picture of baby laughing & laughing. I wonder what baby is thinking: ‘Hey Hey, Hey – way to go Mum.’

If any of your negative, self-invalidating beliefs, which you’ve been working to deconstruct, still have ‘a sting’ here is a second Fast Track strategy for you.

FAST TRACK STRATEGY TWO (As promised last week): – Confusion
Deliberately think to yourself of a negative belief from your list. (Take them one at a time).
Let’s use an example: “Oh god – I am such a failure.”
On day one, speak ‘it’, as your conscious choice, in your mind – or out loud – with loads of energy – really loudly! “Oh god – I am such a failure.”
This is your Conscious choice, so rather than ‘it’ jumping up to ‘sting you’ you are taking control over ‘it’.
Speak it 3 or 5 times on day one. Then jumble the words, write them down, this example becomes like this:
‘Eruliaf a hcus ma I dog ho’
(Would you believe spell check does not like eruliaf!!)
Next, speak out loud, several times a day for three or four days, with loads of energy & enjoyment, your jumbled words:
‘eruliaf a hcus ma I dog ho’
During the few minutes you are doing this ‘Confusion’ exercise –speak only the jumbled words:‘eruliaf a hcus ma I dog ho.’
I so hope you can laugh already. Do let me know how you get on: sally@sally-stubbs.com
By the way I will always ask your permission to tell a story as I did with Susie & the young Mother.

So why are we doing this Fast Track “Pattern Interruption” exercise?
We are achieving something absolutely spectacular. We are deliberately creating confusion in the mind-brain.
Confusion will very soon make it impossible for the mind-brain to access this particular negative belief.
What is really important in ‘journeying’ to achieve your Beautiful Dream is that you take the right steps.
In my Rapha Therapy Audio Courses I ‘walk’ alongside you ensuring the ‘journey’ is comfortable as you learn, and take the right ‘steps’ for you, to make your Beautiful Dream authentic, valid and real.
Authentic, Valid & Real. Not just a Beautiful Dream somewhere on the horizon, drifting without substance, not attainable.

All together now with Jimmy Cliff– “I can see clearly now…….”

Thinking of you positively…….

Sally
Sally Stubbs

AND THE POINT IS ………………

April 14th, 2014
Derwent Water

Derwent Water

OK – so: on the left side of your page you have written the problem that you want to Resolve – the Resolution of which will achieve your Beautiful Dream. We’ve been discussing the ‘how’ to take the right ‘steps’ and journey from left to right across the page to where you have written your Goal, your Beautiful Dream, Successfully Achieved.

Before we go any further in bringing solutions & resolutions to ‘blocks’ to your success, which we might encounter on the trip ‘across the page’, it’s really worth us revisiting these three powerful, focusing of attention, questions:

• What do I really want for my life?

• What would give me fulfilment and meaning?

• What will make me truly happy?

Answering these questions, as a flow of consciousness, is invaluable to helping us on the journey of transforming our lives. Our answers give our mind that clear focus on: “What am I doing this for?” What is really important in ‘journeying’ to achieve your Beautiful Dream is that you take the right steps.

In my Rapha Therapy Audio Courses I ‘walk’ alongside you ensuring the ‘journey’ is comfortable as you learn the right ‘steps’ to take to make your Beautiful Dream authentic, valid & real.

My understanding is that no matter what our Goal – no matter what our Beautiful Dream is, once we do fully Resolve the Problem, the: Not Sleeping – The Nervousness – The Anxiety – The Fears – The Anger – The Worrying & Stress…… we are then free to feel ‘at home’ with our ‘self’. So: we’re on the journey ‘across the page’ of ‘cleaning up’ (thoroughly, once & for all!) the ‘stains’ of imposed negative beliefs, that came to us from others, which have been blocking the ‘path’ to successfully achieving our Beautiful Dream.

I said last week that we would explore a strategy to ‘fast track’ changing and thoroughly deconstructing these types of negative, self invalidating beliefs.  This first ‘Fast Track Strategy’ is elegantly and safely utilising deliberate shock* . Shock to the mind-brain will “Interrupt the Patterns” of unwanted, unproductive ways of thinking/believing. These unwanted thoughts/beliefs will then deconstruct. Do read on -it’s totally safe and amusing. Therapy can be! Not a lot of people know that! “Interrupting the Patterns” is just one of the many, many Strategies that RAPHA Therapy incorporates. *(Ref: Dr. M. Erickson, Dr. E. Rossi: Effective Approaches to Mind-Body Communication)

FAST TRACK STRATEGY ONE (Strategy Two next week) A few people have said to me: ‘This is whacky! but it really works!’. Taking each negative belief (those which impede your journey) one at a time, giving each one three or four days, intentionally speak the belief out loud. Give the words a Grand Whammy, loud, loads of energy – and as you’re speaking the negative belief out loud –  and you’re as loud and energetic as you know you can be – chuck some cold water in your face – then immediately start to jump up & down – and at the same time sing out loud a really daft ridiculous song, or a favourite up-beat song, that has good feelings attached to it. And ‘What?’ you may well ask – are we achieving here? We are safely, deliberately and successfully creating a shock to the mind-brain. It’s like when we’re busy doing something, watching TV, reading – anything and someone (usually a well meaning but thoughtless jerk!) suddenly shouts loudly or chucks cold water at us! We ‘jump’ – however the important point is, when something like that happens, we forget what we were thinking. The mind-brain – forgets. And after you’ve repeated this fun exercise 3-5 times a day for three or four days – your mind-brain will not be able to find this negative belief again. And you, of course, will be delighted. The deal is, after a few days the belief will have deconstructed and should it come into your memory it will ‘sound’ ridiculous; it will have lost it’s ‘sting’ to invalidate you. Enjoy – have fun! Let me know how much you laughed.  sally@sally-stubbs.com

The Aim: Is for you to forget, forever, those ridiculous repeating patterns of self invalidating negative beliefs. So  now it’s up to you to enjoy discovering your own new positive self validating beliefs. Then the noise in your mind will be replaced by harmonious sound.

Thinking of you positively…….

Sally Sally Stubbs Rapha Therapy System – Cures that Endure     www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

 

Success at Smiling …………

March 31st, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

This kind of self empowering Work to permanently resolve a problem state – does take time. It’s not as hard and does not take as long as you might think!
Like any job or task we need and want to do, we so often procrastinate – hoping perhaps it will get done all by itself without our time & attention! But, it doesn’t go away, our ‘Fairy Godmother’ didn’t sort it, it keeps on niggling away at us to – do something!
Then: so many times – when we finally ‘get down to it’ and sort it, we announce in a pleased & surprised voice:– ‘Well: that wasn’t that hard – it didn’t actually take that long at all – wish I’d done it ‘ages’ ago!’
Maybe as you’ve been reading my letters you’ve simply been interested in the Strategies, or maybe you have made a start toward achieving your Goal. But if you haven’t made a start and feel you want to and you’ve missed out on some of my letters about this process, please catch up with them here on our web site.
The allegory that my Dear friend Sue said the other week, about a number of Therapies ‘out there’ are like: “Putting roses on a heap of dog pooh on the floor of your home…. the pooh’s still there!” (Sue didn’t actually use the word pooh!) Well, I have had another thought about her allegory:
It’s like the problems we deal with, the; I’m nervous, fearful, worrying, anxious, not sleeping, can’t say ‘No!’….. we think isn’t as bad as a pile of dog pooh on the floor of our home.
It’s more like a stain – we cover with a rug and we learn all kinds of coping ways to walk around the rug! We are all such great copers. (Spell check has just informed me there’s no such word as ‘copers’!)
Coping with things in life, in itself, is a strength.
Nevertheless we have a ‘stain’ on the floor of our ‘home’, (by ‘home’ I mean our ‘inner mind’).
And none of us, I’m certain, will tolerate for long covering up a ‘stain’ on the floor of our house. We’d get to work on ‘cleaning it up’ pretty quickly, maybe once we’ve done some research on the right cleansing product for the stain. And, if we realised that that ‘mess’ was dog pooh – we’d be onto right away, today, cleaning!

So the last thing we considered in your Quest to move from a problem state – to your Goal state is the resolving of the “Yeah But(s)…” by first differentiating them into 2 lists:
‘Invalidating self beliefs’ & ‘Protective mechanisms’

Today let’s begin with deconstructing: Invalidating self beliefs.
Why bother?
Because they’re garbage.
They block you from being full on successful in your Quest.

So: take each one from your list & ask this Question:
Where did that come from?
Your answers will ensure that you fully & congruently want rid of that – it can go something like this: “This invalidating self belief came from – That important adult, when I was a teenager, they kept telling me I’d always be a failure………Hang on a minute they were wrong!”

We can’t usually polarize long standing negative beliefs by thinking, (using this example): “I am a success!” you’ll get a pretty instant: “Yeah But – you failed in this & you failed in that…..”
So start with: “I am a success at……” (whatever resonates with you, simple stuff – like ‘I am a success at smiling!’ ‘I am a success at making soup!’)
What you’re doing is building up a new positive self belief system that will celebrate who you are & who you were born to be. This is my wish for you.

There is a fast track way to deconstruct negative invalidating self beliefs – we’ll have a look at that one next week.

I’ve spent 20 odd years in developing my comprehensive, thorough, mind-emotional ‘Cleansing’ product.
You’ll find Gift sample tracks to try on my You Tube channel. Have a try. They each last about 20 minutes.
Each unique sample is one of the 15 tracks from each of the different Courses of Rapha Therapy Mind Cleansing Systems I have recorded to cure problems such as: Lack of Self Esteem – Be the Right Weight – Resolve Insomnia – Fix a Phobia – Kick Annoying Habits – Solutions to Stress – Resolve Nervous Stomach – Have Harmonious Relationships, and more.

Enjoy!

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

I Have a Problem with Most Therapy!

March 24th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I am going to be really Controversial here! So, ‘Yeah’ what’s new!

And I hope that what I’m about to say – will spread like ‘a wild fire’ throughout the Internet – and provoke loads of argument. I’m ‘up & fighting’ and fully ready for the arguments!

It really, really, really upsets me – that the largest percentage of Therapies – ‘out there’ Do Not Work – to effect permanent lasting Cure of mind-emotional suffering.

It’s taken me years & years to put all this together.
Where the mind ‘blocks’ us from successfully and permanently achieving Resolution, is what most therapies ignore – ‘cover up’ – ‘plaster over the cracks’ or as a Great friend recently said to me: “It’s like planting roses on top of a pile of pooh!”
My discoveries are so meaningful, so powerful – this isn’t the ‘quick fix’ woo.woo land. This is effective & permanent – it isn’t Magic -but it does have Magical results!
We’d love the instant ‘fix’. AND – we’d love someone else to do it for us! We want the Therapists, the ger-zillion ‘self help’ books – the programmes – the courses to ‘click the fingers’ & Gerzam – ‘just like that’ – we’re Fixed! Of course we do! Wouldn’t it be lovely!

Most well meaning Therapies have ‘bought into’ this old Paradigm – Give the Control over to someone else or to something else to Fix our mind-emotional problems.

IF these Therapeutic Strategies really Worked we’d all be Happy & Fixed – decades ago. Not Lah-Lah Land Happy! – We’d still have sad days, downish days, grumpy days – then we’d move on. We would know we can choose to move on and be’ in Tense’ – that’s a good place for the Heart to visit every now & again. Or be ‘in Suspense’ – an adventurous place to be several times in the year, enjoying the tingles of adrenalin……. Or – simply be in Calm Places. Or. Spend a few hours alongside me in Bonkerdom!

And never visit ‘in Determinate’ – or be ‘in Doubt’ (about successfully achieving our Goal) ever again.

About two weeks ago we were considering this:
“We will get our selves – plenty of Outstanding Energy – & move forwards to Successfully achieving our Goal!”

So: we’ve been doing that by listing our reasons and our purposes to achieve what we want. We are now like an Olympic Athlete fired up with Outstanding Energy: on the starting blocks – to move away from our problem state and journey towards our Goal state.

Get a page of paper right now – and on the left side write the problem state: such as: I can’t say NO! – I’m stressed – I’m worried witless – I can’t sleep – I’m anxious – I’m worthless – I’m so fearful………..I get so angry I could explode…….. People don’t ‘get me’………. People hate me…………… I’m so lonely……………….. Your words – you know what the problem state is.

Then opposite on the right of your page write your Goal State. State your Goal in the positive: such as “I will say NO!” and “I will be really calm…”

You’re ready to move from your problem to your Goal – you’ve got the motivation, the Outstanding Energy from all your reasons & purposes…………

The Truth here is – it is not a straight line (across the page) Look at the line like a journey – along that line – there are dips – where our mind blocks us. These dips or blocks, or holes that we ‘fall down into’ are the “Yeah But(s)…..” that we’ve began to explore already together this year.

A ‘how’ to discover your own “Yeah But(s)……..” is for you to speak out loud – your Goal. And instantly ‘listen’ to your very next thoughts or feelings in your body – Feelings such as a churning in the stomach – a tightness in the chest – a pounding in the heart – And thoughts such as: ‘I’ve tried everything – I always fail……’

These “Yeah But(s)…..” blocks, dips or holes in your journey across ‘the page’ were originally either learnt invalidating self beliefs – or were originally learnt as an unsuccessful safe mechanism.
Example: “the pounding in my Heart – stops me from speaking my mind – As long as I stay quiet and I don’t speak up I won’t get into trouble I’ll be OK”

List all your “Yeah But(s)…..” There will be more than one or two.

Differentiate them into ‘invalidating self beliefs’ and ‘original protective mechanisms’

Each “Yeah But….” Needs individual attention.

Get going with your lists. It isn’t hard – your results and your journey will be Magical.
We’ll talk more about what to do with your dips or blocks or holes in your journey across your ‘page’ next time.

Let the Breeze Blow In – will safely guide you to discover your “Yeah But(s)….” Because one of the problems is that some of these invalidating self beliefs & protective mechanism are Unconscious – we don’t even consciously know we have them. Get in ‘the zone’ with my voice – then ignore my voice and say to your ‘self’ for the 20 minutes of my Story: “I want my Unconscious mind to comfortably tell me my “Yeah But(s)….”
Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy System – Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

A Star Appearance………….

March 17th, 2014

Cumbrian Red Squirrel

Cumbrian Red Squirrel

I thought that you might be a wee bit bored – for a while  – of my Top Banana Tips to bring Permanent Resolution to the wearisome –   debilitating ‘Ground Hog Day’ of mind-emotional problems.
SO: Here is a link for you to my Promo  – It lasts three minutes –  that’s all! Take a look – Enjoy – the Realization of the depths of the true Redemptive Wisdom of the Unconscious mind – to Resolve our       Mind-Emotional Problems.OR – sit back for three minutes and gawp happily at the Beauty of Derwentwater – and the River Greta ‘playing her merry songs’! plus  ‘the star’ appearance of the Red Squirrel!              There’s a mighty lot to enjoy in 3 minutes. Check it out please.
I am totally filled with Respect & Gratitude to all my Clients who gave their time & effort to make my Promo.
Work with me is Private – so their willingness & even eagerness to appear – for the Purpose of helping others with problems is nothing short of Awesome.
The Work and the Strategies I did 1:1 with these wonderful people –  I have Carefully & Rigorously distilled into my RAPHA HYPNOSIS –   half an hour a day – for forty days – in the privacy of one’s own home –   Therapeutic System.
It’s taken me many years to ‘get it Right’ AND produce my Courses! So, I’m pretty proud of me!So  please ‘Click’ the link above and meet a few ex clients:
SARAH –  an inability to commit to a relationship.
LYN –       anxiety & difficulty sleeping / insomnia
TALI –     debilitating stammering.
ELAINE –  social phobia & weight problems.
SUE –       in her words: “The old spider phobia”
JONNY –  Testicular Cancer – as Jonny says: “Low in       energy, low in self esteem, fearful, low in everything really. I left the first Session to be honest feeling like I was Rocky. Energy just seemed       to come  to me from nowhere”
CLAIRE –  Hay Fever
CASSIE –  Hay Fever

.And the RED SQUIRREL – came to make a Star Appearance…………………
ENJOY…….
Warmly
Sally         Sally Stubbs            Rapha Hypnosis Therapy System – ‘Cures that Endure’

 

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

The Loss of Several Cows!

March 10th, 2014
outstanding energy

energised!

How about going for this statement:

We will get our selves – plenty of Outstanding Energy – & move forwards to Successfully achieving our Goal!
We can & we will do this – & – I’m Wondering if – You will agree with me! I can – ask this of us – can I not!

I can ask – & then together – as you will agree – with me – we can begin to Explore the how we can achieve Outstanding Energy to Successfully Achieve Our own Goal.

Yeah – the absolutely all important HOW. We can all say stuff like: I really, really, really, really want to – Fix my computer! Build an amazing house…….. Bake a delicious cake…….. Anything………… (Here’s a rare ‘but’ from me!) But – for all things that we want to ‘fix ‘we need to know how!

(I wrote a Great Book – & called it “The ‘Soul’ Fixer” – the how to fix the ‘Soul’ or ‘Spirit’ or ‘Self’ – (another ‘but’!) But – the ‘Soul’, ‘Spirit’, ‘Self’ doesn’t actually need ‘fixing’; IT didn’t get ‘broken’ – IT – (let’s say for now) ‘went into hiding’ Which is a whole other subject for us another time. Any way my Book is now called:

“FRAYED EDGES…”

So, let’s say: We really, really, really, really want to change our thoughts our feelings & our negative invalidating beliefs.

My chosen subject for nearly 40 years has been – the how to do this – to live life problem free – free to be content, happy, free to be – our self – free to support & cherish others – accept our ‘down’ – sad days – have a bit of a ‘grumpy’ day – and continue to grow in our own happiness.

We’re talking here about what I’ll call – simple symptoms’ – which to you & to others aren’t simple – they’re debilitating. They can be seriously awful – I know it – I’ve been there – such as: I can’t say NO! – I’m stressed – I’m worried witless – I can’t sleep – I’m anxious – I’m worthless – I’m so fearful……….. people don’t ‘get me’………. People hate me…………… I’m so lonely………………..

We’re not insane! Though I know the endless mind-emotional ‘Ground Hog Day’ – (same ‘damn’ thing over & over again…… same old negative unwelcome thoughts – same old stomach churning – same old feeling worthless – same old saying ‘yes’ instead of a true No……..) – can make us feel like we’re going crazy. We got ‘Frayed at our Edges’ during all kinds of experiences in life.

In the mid eighteen hundreds – the pioneers were doing their best to treat ‘mind’ problems. They developed a multiplicity of diagnoses. In the old books causes of ‘mind problems’ were divided into two main categories. The first category being called Moral; this included diagnosis such as: ‘loss of several cows’ and ‘getting over excited at the Great Exhibition!’

Valiant attempts were made to treat many of these ‘mind problems’ in buildings called Asylums – from the Latin ‘A’ meaning NO – & ‘sylum’ meaning CURE.

Places of No Cure. My Heart Aches……….

I am only interested in Cure – Permanent Cure of our: I can’t say NO! – I’m stressed – I’m worried witless – I can’t sleep – I’m anxious – I’m worthless – I’m so fearful……….. people don’t ‘get me’………. People hate me…………… I’m so lonely………………..

The How:
Maybe you have been drawing and Working with your Metaphors these past couple of weeks?
Maybe you said what most of us are prone to say: ‘Yeah – all right – when I’ve time” or “Sally’s crazy!” (Yeah – well I do revel in my respite times in Bonkerdom – I visit there most days!)

So – let’s ‘back track’ with the how:
Start by giving your Goal attention for a few minutes a day for the coming week. Write it down chew your pen – hone your Goal.

If you’ve got several Goals like: I want to sleep well – I want to feel confident – I want to say NO and mean NO! Take one Goal at a time.

Start to draft your Goal in the positive. Like this (let’s take sleep as an example); instead of stating I want to stop tossing & turning at night; I want to stop waking at 3 or 4pm most mornings – State: I want to sleep well throughout the night.

The next how:
Over the next few days – a few minutes every day, write a list of your reasons & purposes to achieve your goal.

You might reasonably be thinking, it’s obvious, I want to sleep well!
But add the why component to the mix:
• I’m drowsy through the day but don’t sleep well at night!
• I seem to just get off to sleep and my alarm goes off
• My work isn’t up to scratch because I’m tired all the time
• I want enough energy for work and fun
These are my examples, be sure to list your own specific reasons and purposes.

Reasons are mostly about logic and purposes are mostly about ‘passions’. You’ll have loads on your list once

YOU WILL START TO WRITE IT!

Here’s my gift to you with my love – Let the Breeze Blow In.
Listen to it every day for the coming days – and as you listen: once you begin to feel that you are ‘in the zone’ with my voice guiding you – ignore my voice – and focus your inner attention on your reasons & purposes.
None of us will ever move towards something – even the Great Something – without reasons & purposes.

Well-meaning folks can interrupt our move toward Outstanding Energy – by saying stuff like: “Oh I’ve read you’ll never sleep properly once you’ve been a bad sleeper……….” So probably wise not to share too much of Your Goal your Reasons & Purposes at this stage.

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

A 5 YEAR OLD’S STORY ………….

March 3rd, 2014

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Here’s a Story to make us think differently!

Profoundly perhaps?

About our own life – about the problems we deal with, the ‘things’ that cause us to ‘suffer mind – emotional pain’ – such as “I can’t sleep” “I feel so nervous” “I feel so worthless…..” “I worry my self ragged”

I am certain – after 40 over years of study, research, & experience, that, unless we were ill as a child, we were not born with these problems! (And I am not naive! I can’t afford to be!)

So: ‘where did these problems come from???’
Must be our biggest Question now, why now? because, we are well into our next Revolution – the Revolution of Consciousness.

Let’s support one another in Resolving our problems. I believe that in doing our own Work – we can help change & Resolve suffering for others. Maybe by a kind of mysterious Osmosis! Mostly thru’ the Right kind of education YIKES! In the US – children age 2 & 3 are being wrongly diagnosed with Bi Polar!

Looks like I am adopting the wiles of thee Outstanding Story Teller here – by keeping you waiting so you are building your anticipation. Yeah!

Before – I begin the story – let’s briefly recap: Where do these kinds of ‘painful’ problems we are suffering come from?

Simplistically two main ‘places’:

1) As kids we will ignore the needs of our self – to conform to the needs of the adults around us, and or to our culture (I am not talking here about the ‘safe & important boundaries’ that are needed to be taught us – I am talking about the seemingly simple orders given such as: ‘Be quiet – do not speak!’ & our self becomes quiet – when in fact our self had something important to ‘speak up’ Our self – stops ‘speaking up’ & our self feels ‘shunned’ Sometimes our self will get angry at being shunned – And in a vicious cycle we are more shunned.)

2) From the: ‘Awful glare directed at us in a parents eyes’ to ‘unbearable’ abuse which causes our self to ‘hide away’ deep in our consciousness. Or, our self will ‘go live on the streets’.

All of these ‘painful’ experiences, which come ‘into us’ from an unhelpful or ‘destructive’ outer event in our life – can be Resolved. You can be doing this right now, for your self, with ‘drawing out’ your experiences in the Metaphors of your Drawings. Experiences have structure – as you Draw your Metaphors of your experiences – you gain solutions to your inner ‘conflicts’ & the structure of the experience changes.

A 5 Year Olds Story:
It was just before Christmas, seven years ago, I was sitting with a friend, he was age 5. He was snuggled up to me – a log fire crackled in front of us. He asked me if I’d like to hear his stories. Oh Yes!
“OK” he says, sitting upright, I think this is important: “Mark liked to sit on his elbow, and sometimes on an eyelash, and sometimes he liked to sit on the top of his head. Mark liked to stand on his nose, and he liked to stand on his eyebrow. Mark liked to wear his jumper upside down, and he liked to wear his trousers upside down and he liked to wear his shoes back to front. Mark did not like to upset his parents. So then Mark sat on his bottom, and he stood on his feet and he wore his jumper and his trousers and his shoes like everyone else did.”

An acquaintance of mine, a couple of years prior to me hearing the stories, had spent a summer weekend with me & Mark. She whispered conspiratorially to me: ‘Mark is Autistic’

I changed the real name of my 5 year friend – who is now 12 and a Gem of a person.
The Great, Great news is that, tho’ Mark ‘conformed’ he did not lose sense of his self. Why? I am convinced it is because of the Outstanding Intelligence of Mark’s parents. And by Intelligence I mean what the word means, the language of intelligence – interlegere: The ability to read between the lines.

With my love – my gift for you Let the Breeze Blow In – helps you to create a safe space – listen once a day for 10 days or so – it’s very relaxing of mind – and body & lasts only 2o minutes. Listen so you will ‘read between the lines’ of your own experiences. Honour the experiences – the truth: “They were yelling at me – telling me I was stupid. That really hurt….” And a lasting process begins for you of changing the structure of the experience.
I wish you lasting self empowerment in the Right way for you…….

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

METAPHORS BE WITH YOU!

February 24th, 2014
Rive Greta: Keswick

Rive Greta: Keswick

I’ve just bumped into a friend – haven’t seen him for ages – we had a 10 minute ‘craic’ – standing – in the sleeting rain – here by ‘our’ river. What he said to me – made ‘my hair stand on end’ – he said: ‘Not everybody thinks in Metaphors and symbols’ Yikes! Why wouldn’t we all think in Metaphors & symbols – when they are the ‘weft’ strands of our ‘tapestry’ of our lives!

Then I remembered something Dr. Richard Bandler said: ‘Not everybody uses their mind visually – but everybody can learn to do so.’

(Bandler is a founder of NLP – & although I think at least 80% of NLP strategies do not have thorough healing properties – there is some useful stuff in there!)

Symbols are more ‘universal’ than Metaphors – they unite cultures from a stop sign on the road – to a crucifix. Epistemological Metaphors ‘belong’ to you. They are how you uniquely know that you know – something. A single Metaphor construct can collect many years of experience, so for example, every occasion of feeling ‘lonely’. Let’s say feeling lonely was first experienced by a five year old – then every occasion throughout life – of ‘feeling lonely’ can be gathered into one form: “ When I feel lonely – it feels like a dark tunnel…’

Drawing – a dark tunnel……. Achieves much! For one thing it absolves us from having to speak about all the occasions of feeling lonely. And solutions come from the problem domain. For example – drawing a dark tunnel…… & exploring the spaces – honours YOUR knowing – and assists the discovery of a solution ‘Goodness there’s light – behind & just above………….’

As you’ve been exploring your drawing(s) – you can begin to ask your next solution orientated questions: “And – what does a grey misty cloud with some yellow above it need or need to have happen?’

As your answers and solutions come to you – you next need to ask the question “Can?”

Example Answer: “Grey misty cloud wants to become all yellow & mellow”

Question: “And – can grey misty cloud become all yellow & mellow?”
Answer: “Not yet”

Question: “What needs to happen first?”
Answer: “Cloud needs to get bigger & it needs to rain”

Question: “ And can cloud get bigger & can it rain?”
Answer: “Yes – the winds blow up and then it rains – and then the yellow sun is there all mellow”

Have in mind that your Epistemological Metaphors – your drawing(s) provide solutions that are congruent to the age at the time of the first feelings, and like the ‘cloud’ solutions, can seem simple & often childlike.

Let my Gift to you help you on this your special Drawing Journey Let the Breeze Blow In – & if you did not do so already have a read about how my stories work. You associate in the right way for you with the Metaphors in my stories.

Enjoy

“Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space” – Professor Orson Scott Carol

Metaphors be with You!

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs  sally@sally-stubbs.com
‘Cures that Endure’

 

 

Ok: Let’s Draw!

February 17th, 2014
captivate your unconscious

captivate your unconscious

Why?

Because 90% – of our life, round about, is unconsciously driven. I am about to give you the right Questions – which will develop – safely – & comfortably – your drawing or drawings which will ‘come from’ your unique unconscious mind.
Briefly – the paradox is – although our unconscious mind is driving on and on – ‘the Ground Hog Day’ our problem state – whatever that state may be – the unconscious mind in it’s wisdom does not want us to ‘be stuck’ with an uncomfortable even debilitating problem – and our wise unconscious does have the solutions and resolutions. We can ‘see’ for our selves these solutions & resolutions from our drawings.

Before we consider the Questions to develop our drawings – let’s take some Good important time with these three Questions:

►What do I really want for my life?
► What would give me fulfillment and meaning?
► What makes me truly happy?
Answering these questions helps us to start on the journey of transforming our lives. (Resolving Problem States is the journey)

So when a “Yeah But….” of yours is a feeling – you will be able to Draw it!

Let’s Go & Draw! – and gain Results to transforming your problem permanently.

First Question – locates the feeling – which is usually in the body – such as the throat – the heart – the stomach – (Sometimes a feeling is located outside the body – like “It feels like a heaviness above my head”: “And when I have a feeling of blank whereabouts do I have a feeling of blank?” Answer: “In the top of my head”

Second Question: “And when I have a blank in the top of my head – what else could there be about blank?” Answer: “It’s like a cloud”

Third Question: “What else is there about a cloud like that cloud?” Answer: “It’s grey and misty with some yellow above it”

Now – you’ve got ‘something’ to Draw – a grey misty cloud with some yellow above it. (You can ask the: What else Question as many times as you need ‘til you can Draw. Your Metaphor – which you Draw will be unique to you.

Intuitively place your Drawing in a different space in your room from where you sit. (Like you’d intuitively place a photo, a vase of flowers! Your Drawing is far more important than these)
Then get up – and move around the room – asking your self from 3 or 4 different spaces: “What else do I know about (using my example) a grey misty cloud with some yellow above it?”
And – if this Question resonates with you ask: “And – what can a grey misty cloud with some yellow above it want to let me know about it?”

Get going. It isn’t hard!

I will talk more on how you’ll start to gain your own solutions in the coming weeks.  And in case moving around your drawings in spaces in your room sounds utterly Whacky to you! It isn’t!

I know you’re busy – I don’t want to keep you long – so I’ll briefly explain. When, for example – we have a blank in the top of our head – we cannot see it – from different angles – it’s just stuck there in the top of our head. As we ‘walk around it’ we gain huge insights, light-bulb moments of solution, even Epiphanies. As we walked around and around the walls of Jericho – the amazing solution came to us, to blow a trumpet. If we’ve cows in our garden eating up our beautiful plants, the plants will continue to get eaten up if we ‘sit in our usual seat’ If we ‘get up’ move – explore our garden – we find the ‘hole in the fence’.

Another gift from me to you with my Love – whilst your spending some time Drawing your Drawing – your insights for your Solutions will be Greatly helped with my Metaphorical Story
“Let the Breeze Blow In” on You Tube.

.
If you’re interested in how my Metaphorical stories Work to Resolve Problems go to How It Works
Metaphors Be With You!

Warmly

Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2014

February 10th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots.

Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven. I have made several trips there, thanks to some stinky childhood stuff, then my relationships, then my children, friends, family and work, my history, the weather!!!
Since 1984 – I don’t go there anymore – after realising you don’t need to once you’re in Truth. Once you’re in Truth – you cannot be in Sane – & definitely not in Determinate: too vague there!
Tho’ Mike often notices I’m happy in Bonkers!

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on the jumping types of physical activity.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable!

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! And in Tense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the Amazing heart! Happy heart – is a happy heart…… Being in Tense shows the heart a wondrous future.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
You can do your bit by remembering to send this to at least one person, who might be in Determinate – or a similar place. My job to reside in Truth is done! Polishing Truth, being an ever vigilant guardian – dusting off anything ‘stinky’ that attempts to visit in Truth is a daily job…..to maintain it well!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things.

So laugh uproariously, love truly and forgive quickly!
Well that forgiveness part is up to you – except do give the gift of forgiveness to YOU – I KNOW you did your best!!!
From one vigilant, polishing person to another… I hope ‘everyone’, every part of you in your mind, is happy about getting happy in your head.
We’re all doing pretty well in mine!
So Now – “Carpe Diem” – today.

I’m going to discuss you drawing! Drawing some of your “Yeah but(s)…”
That’s right pens & inks on paper!
Novel idea? Yikes!
You’ll ‘catch on’!
Investigate taking your hands & fingers off your iPad screens, smart phones & computer – for a while of worthwhile time – with pens inks & paper!
A lovely lady approached me recently with her problems. When I said to her ‘Draw’ – she responded: ‘I can’t draw for toffee’ I replied:
“I understand the ‘I can’t draw for toffee……..’ Loads of clients say this! I used to say it! However my teacher & personal Genius therapist David Grove – MADE me draw!! I promise you I am still gaining in strengths & resources – & Happiness & inner contentment from my own drawings!!
So, I urge you to DRAW. Take your time. Tho’ some drawings will just flow – some we need to ‘chew our pen’ & return to them. One of my own drawings – which, at its core, is about my ‘inner’ resourcefulness I have been working with & developing for over three years.
Because of my ‘mile stone’ Therapy Work with David Grove in the 1980’s & seamless personal Therapy Work with my esteemed teacher – Dr Ernest Rossi – I am a consummately happy contented human ‘soul’ – I had LOADS of ‘baggage’
Due to Traumas’ in my life – I had panic, shoulder & neck pains – fear, anxieties…sleeplessness, I could never speak up for myself…All was Resolved for me.
Through David’s Work & Rossi’s Work I found, Freed & healed Me to be ME………
HOWEVER – I have my personal belief that inner Work for ‘improvement’ of our potential & Consciousness continues on a daily basis – which is what I do, the vigilance & the ‘polishing’!!
I am saying all this because I truly care – & so I wish to URGE you to do your drawings – As you Work with your drawings – put them one at a time in a different space in your room – walk round them as you would a vase of flowers – seeing them from different points of view & keep on & on asking your self the question: ‘What else do I know about that?’ AND ask the unusual question: ‘What does it know that it can let me know?’ Write down & wonder on the answers as the answers will GIVE you more & more solutions. Your drawings are a vital part of inner Work – which is called: Differentiation. Healing does not take place when information & inner knowing is compacted (like a ball of different coloured wools is useless when it’s all tangled!) Your Drawings make a vital difference to the untangling & differentiating – a movement for you towards your own ‘Light Bulb’ moments – your ‘Epiphanies’
Inner Work in not a ‘bandage’ or a ‘sticking plaster over a wound’ Inner Work safely comfortably ‘cleans the wounds’ Your drawings will guide ‘your self’ safely to be found & freed.
Did you notice I always spell Work – with a cap. W? That’s because it’s WORK to be taken seriously!!!”
Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

http://www.sally-stubbs.com/

Outstanding New Year For You …………..

January 27th, 2014

Be HappySo: how about we consider choosing to have & experience an Outstandingly Happy New Year!

Wikipedia says: “Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy”

Could our Happiness possibly be about choice? I believe we do have the choice. I promise you from my ‘Heart’ – I am not being flippant here. And being outstandingly happy 24/7 would be ludicrous – because we do have the challenges, the uncertainties and absolutely we do have the sadness. Yet: we can learn to give straight focused time to the challenges and the uncertainties and we can accept that it is healthy for our ‘Heart’ to feel sadness.

If we can consider briefly for a few moments – when we were babies and when we were young children – as long as we were well, warm, fed – physically comfortable And we were experiencing emotional stability we were in a state of mental & emotional contentment – which, when we saw, heard, smelt, tasted, touched on something exciting, beautiful, intriguing, contentment could range to joy. When we were ‘at one with our world’ and ‘our world was at one with us’ we were content…………..

Today we were going to explore – the ‘how’ to solve, resolve & ‘heal’ our ‘inner’ objections to our Happiness. I think we need a couple more things in place before we take this step.

I’ll talk about these couple of ‘steps’ in a moment, because resolving our ‘objections’ to Happiness does take effort. Enjoyable effort actually, because the effort has immeasurable rewards for our life – the reward being that life can be experienced as a stable inner sense of contentment – no matter the challenges and bewilderments in life.

Just to recap: When you are answering the questions: And when I am happy – how do I know that I am happy? – and you then choose to answer the question through your own knowing – of some past experience – your thoughts and your feelings You then also ‘note’ the inner objections, such as: ‘Yeah but I’m so worrying about…’ ‘Yeah but I’m really stressing about….’ ‘Yeah but I feel ignored by this person…’ ‘Yeah but – I can’t say “No”…’ ‘Yeah but I can’t sleep…….’

Our inner objections to our Happiness are valid. Each objection needs our careful attention – to solve resolve, and heal correctly – and permanently.

So before we explore the ‘how’ to do this – let’s spend another week – for a few minutes a day ‘firming up’ our inner ability and resourcefulness to access our thoughts and feelings of Happiness. Ideally we would do this – access inner happiness for twenty minutes every hour & a half! If you are the type of person who likes facts go look up my teacher Dr Ernest Rossi on google – Ultradian Rhythms. Natural rhythms in our amazing brain – every hour & a half throughout the 24 hours our brain wants & needs to rest, totally in a state of contentment for 20 minutes. None of us will take this amount of time in our – oh so busy schedules – to rest & feel content within our self – leaving the world to ‘grind on’ with its problems! You can choose to do the 20 minutes Ultradian rest once a day? Here’s my free gift for you  – my 20 minute story for you – to rest and make your life happier.

Enjoy:)   Enhance Your Happiness

And the other ‘step’ for you this week – explore your own beliefs about – you can choose to feel happy – it is a choice!

The only times happiness is not a choice are:

1) When our inner objections are not resolved with the right attention.

2) When we are literally in physical danger, when we have to ‘run like mad, or fight’

3) When we are genuinely grieving the loss of a loved one.

Wishing you enjoyment on your ‘steps’ towards your Happiness.

Warmly

Sally

Sally Stubbs ‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

 

 

New Year: New You…………

January 15th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I truly wish for you a Very Happy, Life fulfilled, New Year……….
I’ve just read this, in the news:
‘One of the biggest untold stories of the week – and year – came right after many people had overindulged for the holidays. Turns out at least 38 million adults drink too much…..’Gosh!
And maybe there’s a report somewhere in the news that millions of us also eat too much!

Really!
And there are millions of us who neither drink too much nor eat too much – rather, millions of us are just unhappy – we use our adult cognitive language to describe these ‘universal’ experiences, of unhappiness, such as ’I am so stressing out’ ‘I am worrying all the time’ ‘others keep walking all over me’ ‘I can never say: No’
Now:

let’s take a few moments to have an intelligent appraisal of what I’ve genuinely wished for you. (Of course my wish is genuine – I mean wouldn’t that be Utopia if all of us were very happy & life fulfilled!)
So:

we’re considering an intelligent appraisal – intelligent meaning: the ability to ‘read between the lines’
I warmly invite you to join me, it’s a simple strategy that will, I promise you, lead you to a real experience of WOW! – and a movement for you towards: A Very Happy, Life fulfilled New Year.
Try it now:

or come back to my letter when you’ve 20 minutes for your self.

.
How you can begin to create for your self the wish I have for you, by taking the first part of my ‘wish’ first:
‘Very Happy’ – Ask your self these non ordinary questions – which will give you the gift of different & unusual answers and a way forward for you: ‘And – when I am happy – how do I know that I am happy?’ Your answers will come to you in either thoughts or feelings, your thoughts, if you stop time & slow down for a few moments, will lead to the feelings, such as: ‘I think about that time when I was….. I can picture the place….. I can even hear some nice sounds……’ ‘As I think about that – my breathing becomes slower & I feel nice warmth in my stomach……’ Stay with these thoughts & feelings for a few moments, and simply begin to really know that you do know that you can be happy, even though you may well be noticing objections from part of your mind, the: ‘Yeah but…..I’m really worried about X – & Y is stressing me……’
The secret here is to acknowledge the objections, say to your self: ‘I’ve noted that, (objection) I will get back to that in a few days time.’
So:Ready, Get Set, Go!

………….take just a few minutes a day and during those minutes gently keep your focus on: ‘And – when I am happy – how do I know that I am happy?’ Develop the thoughts & the feelings that you have that are ‘happy’– And keep on ‘telling’ the objections that you will give attention to it/them – in a few days time. I will be exploring with you – how – to safely & comfortably do this next time.

Warmest wishes

Sally

DEPRESSION – AN INADEQUATE NAME…….?

December 11th, 2013

Catbells in FebruaryI woke up today – bright and cheerful – but also sad for those of us who are not consistently cheerful and optimistic: which ‘believe it or not’ is our natural state to be in.

So I thought that the ‘black dog’ is a worthy subject for us to consider…….

Depression: a term coined by Adolf Meyer, has been considered an inadequate name.  William Styron in his account of his depression: Darkness Visible: wrote: ‘Melancholia’  would still be far more apt and evocative a word for the blacker forms of the disorder, but it was usurped by a noun with a bland formality lacking any magisterial presence.

American author Susan Sontag was more succinct: “Depression is melancholy minus its charms…” Churchill named his own depression – ‘black dog’. He was not the first or last to use ‘black dog’ to describe depression. While the term has survived Churchill, its origins remain obscured in the history of the English language.  Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames, said of her father’s depression: “A lot has been made of the depressive side of his character by psychiatrists who were never in the same room with him. He himself talks of his ‘black dog’, and he did have times of great depression, but marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the ‘black dog’.” Whatever our personal opinion may be on Churchill’s achievements, he certainly did achieve, even though chronically haunted by his ‘black dog’. I say: “We need to celebrate how well those of us suffering depression do function, and do achieve.”

I have worked as a clinical hypnotherapist and licensed psychotherapist for many years with young people suffering with depression. I have total respect for their inner strengths to cope. The psychological and emotional ‘worlds’ of depression which they have, not out of any conscious choice, entered, do not relate in anyway to the ‘worlds’ of day to day life. And so it takes massive energy for the sufferer to even attempt to relate to life.  Depression is often compounded with anxiety, such as shame, fear of the weakness to be able to change; (“Pull your self up with your boot laces!” Which actually defies physics, we can’t!) Guilt about having ‘mental illness’ and maybe guilt about how the illness affects others; family and friends.  We know the unbearable tragic statistics: around one million people in the world commit suicide each year; one in five of us, say the World Health Organisation, will suffer a ‘’mental illness’. Medication helps temporarily; it helps to get a flow of energy, specifically serotonin. But, it does not cure. For thirty years my focus has been on cure rather than management or control.  As Churchill’s daughter said; “… marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog”.

However, I see that the ‘black dog’ is still looming, a dark presence in the back yard kennel, sadly ever ready to pounce!

How can we bring a cure?  As I truly do not want to lose you here, I repeat, I have total respect for the suffering of depression. I too suffered, in the early 1980’s; my life was not worth living.  I had a brilliant Therapist, David Grove!  I’ve had no recurrence of ‘depression’, the ‘black dog’ was set free, but that’s a whole story in itself, as the ‘black dog’ is a wounded part of our ‘Me’. Sure, I have had challenges, and sadness and loss, and I’ve discovered solutions to challenges and moved on, and I’ve grieved and moved on from my loss.

The next part of my discussion with you is largely based on my successful Work as a therapist plus my experience and rigourous study:  Anxiety and depression can become compounded into an undifferentiated mass of psychological and emotional information, leading us to experience the unsolvable horrific cycle of: “The same damned thing over and over again….” My Work differentiates out the anxiety, and brings resolution to the fears and shame; we can then give full attention to the depression. Depression will have its antecedents in our early formative years, in our learnt beliefs, trauma or crisis. We may or may not know what triggers the depression later, in our teens or young adult life. It’s not always necessary to know or have the insights about what triggered it.  In our early years we unconsciously, as a psychological protective mechanism, freeze moments in time. The unconscious stops time, right on the edge of trauma or crisis in an attempt to stop the next moments becoming worse: For example: I am age 5, this important adult is yelling at me….I unconsciously stop time whilst they are yelling at me in case they start beating me…… These ‘frozen moments’ of ‘the yelling’ play on and on deep within our mind for a year or twenty years until something in our environment triggers the feelings of fear, sadness, helplessness, not necessarily the memories of, in this example, a yelling adult.  We may not even have noticed the trigger, for example: The newspaper seller shouting the news on the street had the same tone and delivery of voice as the yelling adult….. We walked on by and suddenly we felt low or fearful.  These trigger encounters will connect deeply and significantly with our younger experience. Because, the part of us frozen in time never grew on in time and deeply continues to feel the ‘pain’ of those moments.  My work safely enters these frozen moments in time and brings resolution to the experiences, freeing the part of us who became ‘stuck’ enabling time to move on.

More about black dog depression and support at www.blackdogtribe.com

Thank you for listening.

Warmly  Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

Top of the Tree……….

November 21st, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

It may seem I’m ‘blowing my own trumpet’ – from the
‘Top of My Tree’
by the way: the view ‘up here’ shows there are loads more of the ‘tree’ to be discovered!

As Coleridge said:
“…..He looked at his own soul with a telescope and what he thought to be all irregular shewed to be beautiful constellations and he brought into consciousness hidden worlds within worlds…….”

There’s a very real reason that I can say that I am ‘top of the tree’ which is my own “T PLUS One” experience.
Briefly this is my trauma that put me in T MINUS 1!
When I was 16 months old I was ill and admitted to a Children’s Hospital where I ‘clinically died’!
Thank goodness the hospital team did resuscitate me!!!!
My “T Minus One” was when I (unconsciously) froze time in the moments just before I died……
Only when I started to study psychology did I realise that I was still dissociating in the “T Minus One” moment.

There are reams and reams and text books galore, studies and academic papers written about dissociation, too dense for us to go there now.
The type of dissociation that I’m talking about here, that I and many others experience, is that I
‘lived in a world of my own’

Concentration was very hard for me. School reports would say: She does not pay attention….. !!
I would if I could have!
People would say: You’re miles away! You’re not listening to a word I say!
And statements like: “Oh ignore Sally, she lives in a world of her own….”
The best one I heard was: “Sally’s away picking daffodils on the moon!”
My ‘land mark’ therapy work with the late great David Grove in the mid 1980’s freed and shifted me from my “T Minus One” into “T Plus One” (“T Plus One” is time after Trauma – this therapy work which I’ve studied for over 30 years never goes through trauma).
So: you see I’ve known the terror and I know personally how we can be freed – and healed.
But equally important for me to know I am ‘at the Top of the Tree’ (with loads more tree to discover) is, when I was young, I had to learn to never, ever be deluded.
Dissociation and other problem states can leave us feeling or sometimes actually being deluded. So in dealing with important things, like my work, I have had to authenticate, prove, double check, cross check and verify.
I already had and already used this skill when I did my therapy work with David in the 1980’s, it’s a skill I will have and use for the rest of my life.
If you or a loved one has a problem I want to help you cure it: because I know personally that’s it’s a real ‘stink’ to be suffering.
For many years now I’ve been working on developing R.A.P.H.A therapy.
Resilient Amalgamation of Psycho-physical Healing Approaches.
I’d be delighted if you’d visit me on my page explaining RAPHA and let me know what you think. Your thoughts and ideas will be gratefully received.
Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

www.sally-stubbs.com

The Significance of 40 Days………

October 31st, 2013

40 days - 1Rapha Hypnosis: ‘Cures that Endure’: Therapy Treatments in 40 Days:

If you choose one of my courses it is recommended that you should take approximately forty days to complete your treatment – which is
absolutely no time at all when you consider how long it takes to develop a problem and that the alternative
to treatment, is a life-time of unnecessary suffering.
You may have seen other therapies that claim they can solve your problem in less time than this? These are
quick-fixes that will just scratch the surface of your problem. They may temporarily mask the issue but
masking isn’t the answer. What you need is a permanent cure and a permanent cure takes time ………

approximately forty days (on average).
Just 30 minutes a day for forty days.
Rapha Hypnosis is all about getting the healing message through to your unconscious mind that will enable you
to ditch your demons – forever! Rapha Hypnosis doesn’t rush you, or corner you or make you feel
uncomfortable; it works with you, making you feel good from the inside out.
Rapha hypnosis – cures that endure!
They say life begins at forty!
In Jungian terms forty days has a deep meaning within the collective unconscious.
You may be interested in reading other interesting (and not entirely unrelated) accounts associated with the
wisdom and wonder of forty days. If so, please read on…
Forty is a life force
It takes approximately forty days from conception to a foetus becoming fully formed.
It takes approximately forty weeks of an entire pregnancy, from conception to birth.
So, from the conception of a need and a want to resolve a problem we can psychologically and emotionally
grow, resolve, and celebrate of our ‘new life’ in forty days.
In the Christian tradition, Jesus spent forty days and forty nights in the desert. He fasted in this story
and another important factor is that he transformed what ‘bedevilled’ him.
The forty days of Lent mirrors Jesus’ forty days in the desert.
Jesus was seen on earth forty days after his crucifixion. (Acts 1: 3)
Noah’s Ark: it rained for forty days and forty nights.
The Ark features in traditions of a number of Abrahamic religions including Judaism, Islam, Christianity and
others. A theological interpretation is that the Ark is offering salvation to man.
So, what could that mean to you emotionally and psychologically?

Salvation can mean recovery, or escape in forty days from a problem state.

In some Buddhist traditions: After forty days the Buddha attained enlightenment.
In Hebrew tradition: A simple understanding of the Torah is that Moses spent forty days in Heaven to receive the Torah.

Islam: It is traditional to spend forty days in mourning in many Islamic cultures.

Muhammad was forty years old when he first received the revelation delivered by Gabriel.
Hinduism: Like other great religions Hinduism has specific rituals for honouring their deceased, depending on the community, traditionally there are forty days of ritual, after which the grieving family reintegrate with their society.
Some Russian cultures believe the spirit of the dead linger at the site of their death for forty days and the spirit will be honoured for those forty days.
Ancient Egyptian culture: Forg Yuugioh – after forty days suffering will be removed.
Egyptians also recognised the period of forty days of preparation for journeying into a new life.
And there is so much more to the importance of forty in our collective unconscious.
It makes good sense:)
So: start your forty days treatment now: cure your problem and achieve your goal.

All you need is a little fortitude – and YOU have got it!

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

 

Depression is melancholy minus it’s charms……

October 21st, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Depression, a term coined by Adolf Meyer, has been considered an inadequate name.
William Styron in his account of his depression, Darkness Visible, wrote: “’Melancholia’ would still be far more apt and evocative a word for the blacker forms of the disorder, but it was usurped by a noun with a bland formality lacking any magisterial presence.”
American author Susan Sontag was more succinct: “Depression is melancholy minus its charms…”
Churchill named his own depression – black dog. He was not the first or last to use black dog to describe depression. While the term has survived Churchill, its origins remain obscured in the history of the English language.
Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames, said of her father’s depression: “A lot has been made of the depressive side of his character by psychiatrists who were never in the same room with him. He himself talks of his black dog and he did have times of great depression, but marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog.”

Whatever our personal opinion may be on Churchill’s achievements, he certainly did achieve, even though chronically haunted by his black dog.
I say: “We need to celebrate how well depressives do function, and do achieve.”
I have worked as a clinical hypnotherapist and licensed psychotherapist for many years with young people suffering with depression. I have total respect for their inner strengths to cope. The psychological and emotional ‘worlds’ of depression which they have, not out of any conscious choice, entered, do not relate in anyway to the ‘worlds’ of day to day life. And so it takes massive energy for the sufferer to even attempt to relate to life.
Depression is often then compounded with anxiety, such as shame, fear of the weakness to take charge, (“Pull your self up with your boot laces!” Which actually defies physics, we can’t!) guilt about having mental illness and maybe guilt about how the illness affects others; family and friends.
We know the unbearable tragic statistics: around one million people in the world commit suicide a year; one in five of us will suffer a mental illness.

Medication helps; it helps to get a flow of energy, specifically Serotonin. But, it does not cure. For thirty years my focus has been on cure rather than management or control.
As Churchill’s daughter said; “… marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog”. However the black dog is still looming a dark presence in the back yard kennel!
How can we bring a cure?
As I truly do not want to lose you here, I repeat, I have total respect for the suffering of depression. I too suffered, in the early 1980’s; my life was not worth living.
I had a brilliant therapist, I’ve had no recurrence, I have had challenges, sadness and loss, and I’ve discovered solutions to challenges, and I’ve grieved and moved on.

The next part of my discussion with you is largely based on my therapist’s well acclaimed work plus my experience and study:
Anxiety and depression can become compounded into an undifferentiated mass of psychological and emotional information, leading us to experience the unsolvable horrific cycle of: “One damned thing after another….”
My work differentiates out the anxiety, and brings resolution to the fears and shame; we can then give full attention to the depression.
Depression will have its antecedents in our early formative years, learnt beliefs, trauma or crisis. We may or may not know what triggers the depression in our teens or young adult life. It’s not always necessary to know or have the insights about what triggered it.
In our early years we unconsciously, as a psychological protective mechanism freeze moments in time, the unconscious stops time, right on the edge of trauma or crisis in an attempt to stop the next moments becoming worse: I am age 5, this important adult is yelling at me….I unconsciously stop time whilst they are yelling in case they start beating me……
These frozen traumatic moments of ‘the yelling’ play on and on deep within our mind for a year or twenty years until something in our environment triggers the feelings of fear, sadness, helplessness, not necessarily the memories of a yelling adult.
We may not even have noticed the trigger: the newspaper seller on the street had the same tone and delivery of voice as the yelling adult…..
We walked on by and suddenly we felt low or fearful.
Sometimes we do know the trigger: we had a huge loss, we felt abandoned. These trigger encounters will connect deeply and significantly with our younger experience: The yelling adult abandoned us as ‘worthless’, we felt the loss of their understanding love. The ‘yelling’ adult later, even minutes later, apologised, and told us they were having a bad day. But, the part of us frozen in time never grew on in time and deeply continues to feel abandoned and lost.
My work safely enters these frozen moments in time and brings resolution to the experiences enabling time to move on.
I will give you some clear examples of how this works in my next discussion with you.

Thank you for listening.

Sally

So The Question Is?

October 3rd, 2013

frogs 2

Do You Remember The Frog Story?

One frog is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is, the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary.

Another frog shouts down to him: “Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.”
The frog down below looks up: “I can’t get out.”  “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog.

.
“Leave me alone, I’m fine, I can find food down here.”
“OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.

“What about companionship with other frogs?” “Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.

.
When we are stuck in a ‘rut’ – and by ‘a rut’ I mean the symptoms which cause us emotional ‘pain’ such as:
• being disconnected from our self and from others
• relating badly to our food,
• being afraid,
• feeling nervous
• panicky
• stressed
• not sleeping well
– and so on – our wonderful well meaning friends will ask of us, with great concern: Why don’t you think happy thoughts? Why don’t you just go out and socialise? Why don’t you learn about which are the healthy foods?
Because our friends’ are wonderful and caring and what they ask of us makes perfect sense – we may try the happy thoughts or the socialising for a while. None of it is lasting, because part of us is still ‘stuck’.
Unlike our first frog – we do not want to wait for a major crisis coming along in our life to make us move out of ‘where we are stuck’.
The ‘Why’ questions do not work to help us to really move out of our ‘stuck state’.
Let’s try as an example: – “Why don’t you think happy thoughts?”
“Because I’ve tried that and failed, it doesn’t last. Because I don’t actually feel happy when I make myself have happy thoughts!”
Conversely the goal setting question does work – it is the beginning point to be able to move ‘out of the stuck’ place
Our goal gives us a place to go to – otherwise we won’t move. We would never get out of our chair unless we had a goal – even to go and make a hot drink!
I have talked about this question before; it’s well worth another viewing!
Here it is, ask yourself:
“And – what do I want to have happen?”
Because this is an unusual question – you will get unusual responses from yourself.
Go for it! Write it down. Be spontaneous. Have a flow of consciousness – or ‘nail it’ straight away.
I am talking here about emotional and psychological goals, such as:
“I want to stop feeling depressed, angry, lonely, misunderstood. I want to be myself – I want to know myself, find myself. I want to be free to be me. I want to sleep well. I want to be happy in my own skin……..”

Write it down. Ponder on your goal. We can all do this goal setting regularly. It is part of our humanness to want to ‘move on’ in our immeasurable potential!
Next – you need your purposes and reasons for wanting your goal – without these our mind will not make the move to change. Write them down.
We would not get out of our chair to make a hot drink – unless we had reasons – the obvious – “I’m thirsty!” “I need a break from my chair!!”

Please enjoy my gift to you which I have posted on You Tube called –‘ It’s a Breeze’ – This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s a Breeze helps you communicate with the ‘latent’ wisdom and resources of your unconscious mind, assisting you to move towards your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: please check out my life changing material here.

ENJOY

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

Be Happy Now! 10 Top Tips

September 26th, 2013

Be Happy

1. Choose to Change:-     What stops us being happy, no matter what is happening in our life, are our ‘inner’ thoughts and beliefs.

 2. Consider a Formula for Change:-    Every hour and a half throughout your day, pause for a few seconds and say, “I can change my thoughts and beliefs which do not celebrate my life”. The brain is in rest phase and the mind is ready to learn something new.

3.  Identify Your Desired State:-     Take time and write down your goal, your desired state. Focus throughout the day and plan your most important journey of your life – to happiness.

4.  Keep A Notebook:-    Carry your notebook and make lists – be ready to write down anything that will make you happier.

5.  Remind Yourself Why You Need Change:-    Get fully motivated towards reaching your destination. Imagine yourself with a serene or smiley face: hear your voice, strong, certain or calm and notice the change.

6.  Keep Your Saboteurs In Check:-    Say your Mum had been a constant worrier – consistantly scared for your safety and wellbeing. Chronic worrying is a waste of time and life. You can say to yourself “I am going to have clear thoughts with loads of energy for my brain to respond with new and happier thought patterns.”

7.  Reflect:-    Take time to reflect on your perceptions and response and discover you have the choice to change your perceptions and therefore your responses. Your mind and brain can now begin to have safe responses rather than her habituated fear responses.

8.  Pay Attention To Your Thoughts:-    Interrupt your patterns of ‘down’ thinking. So do something fast, really different like splashing your face with cold water and you will train yourself to interrupt your negative thought patterns.

9.  Find Your Space:-    Choose a time every day  say 15 – 20 minutes for time and space just for you. Choose to think things that make you feel good. You will soon discover that it is entirely up to you. You will then see how you will begin to feel ‘up’ and happier for longer and longer periods of time.

10.  SMILE – Every Day:-    Smiling instantly lifts your mood: If Life Gives You Lemons – How 10 Seconds a Day Will Bring You Happiness.

Enjoy my top tips: comments welcome sally@sally-stubbs.com

Warmly

Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

Hypnosis Sets You Free!

August 27th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

So, what exactly are we discussing together? What do I mean by Freedom to be our self? Freedom to be Happy in ‘our own skin’? Freedom to grow in our unique potential?
And what stops us from being and experiencing and enjoying these Freedoms?
We cannot be Free to fully be our self when we get ‘stuck’. The ‘stuck’ experiences in our minds, in our psychology, are literally that, we are ‘stuck’ we don’t move, we don’t move forward and we don’t ‘grow’!
Why would we be so daft as to get ‘stuck’, you might well ask? Well, for one thing we are not being daft; we are attempting to protect our self, in a crisis or in a trauma, from the next moment getting even worse.
Bottom line? As long as we are ‘stuck’ in that particularly moment and even though it’s horrific, we’re in ‘the firing line’, the ‘bombing’ is happening all around us, we are terrified, but at least we are alive.
We stop time in our mind in case, in the very next moment the ‘bomb’ blows us completely away. Consequently, getting our self ‘stuck’ makes total sense to our unconscious protective mechanisms.
Of course, you could be saying: “Sally, I’ve never been in the ‘firing line’, I’ve never been in a ‘bombing raid’ in my life….. My life has been really peaceful.”
I am so glad you haven’t. I’m so glad you have had a peaceful life.
I have been in the ‘firing line’! That’s one of the reasons I’m so brilliant at, and proud of, what I do and what I achieve for others.
So, you may be like the young lady who came up to me at the Vitality Show after I’d been speaking about this kind of Freedom. She said, (what you are maybe thinking about your life,) that her entire life had been ‘peaceful’
But, she told me that she was a chronic worrier.
As we talked she gained the insights that she had learnt to worry as a little girl because her mother was and still is a worrier.
You too may have got ‘stuck’ with learnt experiences, like worrying, that do not serve you or celebrate fully your life’s expression and experience.
The feeling of being ‘stuck’ is the opposite of freedom to be our self and to be happy and grow in our own unique potential. Hypnosis sets you free! So, what are you waiting for?
Thinking of you warmly………

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

 

3 Steps to Happiness………

July 22nd, 2013

Sally with fishI am sixty and my plan is to be around, healthy on our amazing planet for many more years to come!

Do you have a plan?

Maybe you are now, or are about to go through a life change? Children ‘flying the nest’, retirement from full time employment? So perhaps life is looking kind of bleak, possibly feeling a bit empty, asking yourself what’s the purpose?

I want to share some solid scientific information with you to help you with your plan. First be happy? Studies show that people who are happier in their lives have healthier levels of key body chemicals than those who are focused on negative feelings. This means happier people can have healthier hearts and generally lessen their risk of diseases. Enhance Your Happiness

Happiness for all of us is different, it can be a steady state of optimism shifting to those times of high energy enthusiasm and in between these two states there are all nuances of cheerfulness.

The simple truth is happiness comes from within. We can learn to choose to be happy even when the external ‘weather’ is bad. We don’t have to wait, we can start today! Hints to Happiness

So, how can we look forward to years of tranquillity, optimism, cheerfulness, happiness?

We can choose how we are perceiving and thinking about any situation or experience in any given moment. We can slow down our minds for a few moments, observe our thought pattern responses and those thoughts that do not have a celebration of life quality we can ‘delete’ and change.

Have you heard of ‘neurogenesis’ the growth and formation of new nerve or brain cells. Research in current neuroscience indicates, contrary to 100 years of dogma, that our human brain is capable of generating new brain cells throughout our life cycle.

One of my teachers: Dr Ernest Rossi states: “The psychological precedes the physical. The mind drives the body which drives the genome.”

There are three activities or behaviours which are key to connecting psychological experiences that optimize gene expression, neuroscience and healing. These 3 are what we need to incorporate into our everyday life so we can keep on growing our brain (neurogenesis).

Novelty

Experience something novel and new in your everyday life. One thing I do is to really see and be fascinated by the light and colours constantly shifting and moving on the rocks in our garden.

Environmental Enrichment

Enrich your environment. I do this with a fabulous photograph, garden flowers in jars in the house, finding a piece of driftwood on the lake shore. Have some simple natural things around you and give them your attention so that you will feel enriched.

Physical Exercise

You don’t need to be an athlete! The wondrous Dr Milton Erickson, considered to be the grandfather of Psychotherapy & Hypnotherapy, was wheelchair bound in his later years and exercised each evening by preparing the vegetables for dinner.

These three things need only takes minutes in your day, but, like me, you might find that you spend twenty minutes on each every day: you will so enjoy this time and the amazing benefits of growing new brain cells!

Start today: be Happy:)

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

 

 

Ericksonian Language…………

July 10th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Want to listen to me on the blogtalkradio station?

Sorry I’ve been off ‘the radar’ for a couple of weeks! I’m just wondering, (wondering is so cool!)
Now, that’s an Ericksonian language skill: “I’m just wondering, (wondering is so cool!) if – you did miss me!”
Erickson is thee ‘grandfather’ of Hypnotherapy – world wide. His language skills are indirectly – directive! It’s Erickson’s language skills that I Work with on all my CD and MP3 courses. Please go and have a listen on my You Tube Channel.

I’m listening to a particular story right now as I write to you – & I tell you what, I can feel the positive expansive influence taking place in my unconscious mind. You see my stories in the language of Erickson are communicating with the unconscious mind in a clean and right way – for every individual .

This Story of mine is called “Chew on Something Different” and the Goal of the entire course is to Gain Self Esteem. Enjoy
As we were planning to talk today about the ‘how’ to find & free our self from a ‘handicap’ state that is causing us problems – Well – this is one of the ‘how’ to.

Next time I write to you – we can explore other ‘how’s’ to free our self!

I’ve been off the ‘radar’ because I’ve been away. I’ve been Working with a Client in Florida. It was awesomely Great Work.

Then I got back to an invitation from Dr Michael Harris to do a radio broadcast with him on on blogtalkradio – TEXAS! How about that! A very exciting experience.
My (chosen!) subject for the broadcast was:

‘Why we are not Free to be our ‘self ‘and how we can be’.
Dr. Harris is a great presenter & interviewer and he gave me masses of free reign.

You’re most welcome to sit back & have a listen on this link.
I’ll be delighted to hear from you with any comments or questions. It is you – who teaches me.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

 

Let’s Free Our …. Self……

June 10th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

One of my connections on LinkedIn – ‘like’s this pic of me. They said I look rigorous! How cool is that!
Lovely Judith in our office – put this pic of me up on LinkedIn – I wouldn’t have a clue how to do that stuff. Do I feel handicapped? NO! I’ve got Judith!
Where’s this leading you might well be asking?
Well – I wanted to discuss what we can do – & how we can do something to ‘free’ our self – when our self does feel ‘handicapped’
By ‘handicapped’ I mean with ‘inner’ emotional or psychological symptoms/problems – The:
I can’t sleep….
I’m nervous……
I’m too scared to do new things……….
I’m always stressing……….
I’m over eating………….
I can’t find the right relationship……………
Yeah – we are actually ‘wired’ into those past feelings of emotional suffering & psychological suffering. We feel ‘stuck’ we feel our ‘self’ has no control to make the changes & be free of such ‘handicaps’ – The Great News is – we’re not ‘hard wired’ into those old handicapping ways of suffering. We can change the ‘wiring’ – & keep the new ‘wiring’
To Resolve – permanently the old suffering ways of feeling & thinking – is our human Greatest Potential.
We keep on accessing the same old suffering thinking & emotions on a daily basis. We can create brand new thinking & emotions that are yet unborn & with it infinite possibilities for good & for life celebration…………..
We are operating in our thinking & in our emotions either detached – or as if today were yesterday. An emotional ‘Ground Hog Day’ life………..
The super position of the freedom from self handicaps & of the multi possibilities is in our Unconscious mind……………..
So, we’ve explored some of the ‘what’ of our inner ‘handicaps’
And the how to bring about freedom to be our self we know lies in our Unconscious mind.
Next time I write to you let’s explore the how to be in that super position.

In the meantime …………..http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kLVp8tUwGCo

Enjoy watching –

Thinking of you warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

Your Self Esteem…….Believe in Your ‘Self’

May 30th, 2013

Sally with fish

Let’s talk some more about my friend the Little Girl and what she has to say.
Because, whatever problem any of us may be suffering – her wisdom is wondrously universal. Her wisdom will assist any of us to gain insights as to how we can return to be our pristine, resourceful, happy ‘self’.

So my friend the Little Girl, you may remember I’ve spoken of her a few times before. She has been talking to me about what she calls ‘blind spots’.
She said: “You can have blind spots about your self and about other people and situations. Blind spots happen when you have an ‘Ouch’ sometimes a huge ‘Ouch’. Some ‘Ouches’ are small and they can add up, like a sum, to a big ‘Ouch’ Blind spots are made of horrid stuff – that’s not real Tho’ they feel real until you see thru’ them.”
Bear with me please – this is such pure information, and can make for such huge valuable & really important changes.
She and I talked for a couple of hours about ‘blind spots’ and I’m about to have the great impudence to précis our talk!!
OK – examples are the simplest way to précis.
Your parent, parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicates to your ‘self’:
“Your (self is) stupid – ugly – useless – a failure – unacceptable…………. A waste of space.” You know these communications hey? You can add to my list if you like!
Hearing this stinky stuff – or sometimes seeing it in a glare from an eye – Your self feels ‘Ouch’
Add a few ‘Ouches’ together, and like a sum, there is a big ‘Ouch’ and your ‘self’ – your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘self’ goes into hiding, withdraws.
And your ‘self’ often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding. Your MoJo – becomes hidden unavailable. Why would our ‘self’ hide our MoJo? Simplistically, we hide our MoJo as an attempt to protect our self from more ‘Ouches’
The ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘self’.
The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from a wrong communication, which caused an ‘Ouch’, from parent, teacher, friend, sibling.
By the way, seeing thru’ the wrong communication does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend, teacher……. We can know the truth: “this person, these people, were wrong – AND – they have good qualities & intentions.
So why would you bother to restore your self to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony, by you discovering how to do this? So that your ‘self’ can and will experience a fulfilled life
Because when our ‘self’ is withdrawn, holding back, in hiding we are living a half life.
So how can you begin to restore your self to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

Get started on my half an hour a day for forty days courses on Cd or MP3 download. Money back guarantee. Have a look at the website: www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk  Is this a sales pitch? Absolutely it is! Why? Because I have a dream to end all emotional suffering and we can achieve this by restoring the right & rightful control back to the ‘self’.
There’s a sample track: from Gain Self Esteem as a delicious ‘taster’ for you: on You Tube. This is one track of 15 of the whole course.
I did ‘the course’ nearly 30 years ago. I know how my ‘self’ suffered when ‘it’ was hiding. Why 40 days, why half an hour a day? – this is not fast food therapy – this is lasting – your ‘self’ needs real nourishment to feel safe to be free – to be your self.
You will comfortably find and restore your self. Your self has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do what you want.
I’ve mentioned Jon before: Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one. He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.” Although he is a successful business man, and he has two university Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really stupid. I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.” This was Jon’s belief. Beliefs are not the truth – they control us from inside – The belief took Jon half an hour a day for 10 days of the 40 day course to untangle, differentiate, and then resolve and change. We cannot change the density of a self belief by suddenly saying every day: “I’m really clever & I’m really bright” The belief “I’m stupid” is still there churning away
He did my 40 day CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found his ‘self’!
Please feel free to contact me if you would like my advice:

sally@sally-stubbs.com  I am here to help.
Once we find and restore our self to ‘it’s’ rightful place, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space’ Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ in our living room!!
Thinking of you warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com

Curvey Yes’s & Curvey No’s………………

May 23rd, 2013

IMG_1124Hi

You know I believe ‘pussy footing around’ really is not that ‘sexy’!

And for ‘big’ things in our life – for sure we need to ‘sit on the fence’ a while and gather information, ‘flirt with ideas’, before we can ‘get off the fence’ and ‘say’ our NO! or our YES! with, if not always absolute certainty, at least with an acceptance of ‘risk’‘risk’ that will not injure our self or others……………

I have a 5 year old client, she clearly says: ‘There are straight Yes’s and straight No’s, and there a curvy Yes’s and curvy No’s. You must always be straight, curvy can be very messy, and sometimes you need to wait to know you have a straight Yes or a straight No.’

I have learnt masses from this 5 year old…….

I listened on the BBC radio 4 website to a recent programme called:

The Trouble with Moody Teenagers.

Lucy talked about being suicidal after her Dad died.

John talked about hiding himself away after being bullied.

Neither of these kids could ask for help, until eventually they were ‘exploding’.

 

Other kids talked about being suicidal, not coping, hiding in their rooms, being on an emotional roller coaster. Their suffering was described as: “Children being in mental smog…” Statistics say that: Every school class has one student needing urgent help.

This isn’t about teenage angst, and mood swings driven by hormonal changes.

This is about suffering.

The pain, like Lucy’s and John’s, can come from our own personal trauma. The pain, for others, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’ Dr. John Sarno calls it

‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’

This is a story about, who I am going to call, “Debbie”.

I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!

Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with Depression and prescribed anti depressants.

Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did last week. I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up. Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’.

Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me” and constantly she feels totally numb. In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me” which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.

Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.

So I asked what happened about ten years ago. “My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.

Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”

Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”

Believe me, I personally totally understand such Great, Great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our Heart and Mind. But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.

Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death. This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.

Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………

Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting……… And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her ‘self’ to make the effort.

I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you. I believe her story will somehow help you.

So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our very, very well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here are your Meds.”

“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a Therapist for you who Works this way…..”

Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s Heart Wrenching………..

Thinking of you warmly……. Come visit us on our Rapha Hypnosis site: you’ll be most warmly welcome

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

Warm wishes

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

 

 

 

Chew on Something Different………

May 16th, 2013

Sally Boa on wall

A father telephoned me and said that he and his wife could not cope with their daughter’s habit any longer – and would I see the girl.
I said yes – only if you ask first – that she will want to choose to see me. Her choice of course. She was aged 15 at the time. She could have been age 8, the same applies, it must, even for a youngster, be their choice.
She wanted to speak with me on the phone first, and check me out. At the end of our nearly an hour on the phone she said she thought: I was Mint! How ace is that!
She did – I am happy to say want to – come along to see me, do some Work with me.
I did say on the phone that my half an hour a day for 40 CD or MP3 course

Gain Self Esteem & Self Confidence  would work for her. She said she wanted to see me!
The parents brought the girl – They said that she constantly, everywhere chewed on her tongue – which was really annoying to them. The point is: Did it really annoy the girl and did she want to cease, not especially for her parents ‘peace of mind’ – did she want to stop for her self. Fortunately (for the parents) that was her goal.
I told the parents that they must leave the room so that the girl and I could Work in private.
We Worked on – what was driving her tongue chewing habit – we discovered that her problem was her annoyance at certain others. She wasn’t annoyed with her parents by the way. We did some very clean elegant Work on resolving her annoyance
Next I wanted to be able to really access her Annoyance – so –
I said: “YOU ARE PATHETIC”
And the kid really got annoyed and chewed harder and harder on her tongue.
I went on to say:
“ Can – YOU BE CLEVER – and stop wasting your tongue chewing everywhere and on everyone.”
I said: “Decide who really annoys you. Then every evening sit as close as you can to your parents – and chew your tongue – really hard – for seventeen minutes.
Watch the time – watch your watch – or watch the clock – make it seventeen minutes.
Be noisy – do it properly with all the gusto you’ve got. You could growl and snarl.
If you cannot sit next to both parents – then you will have to do them one at a time.
That way – YOU CAN BE SMART – and – BE CONFIDENT.
You can chew hard – and growl and snarl for thirty-four minutes – every evening.
Each day at school – choose one of those people that annoys you – BE SMART – don’t waste your chewing over hundreds of others – choose the ones who annoy you.
Go and chew next to the chosen one for the whole of your break time – Every day this can be a different person. If you run out of people that annoy you – well – just start over.
Chew hard and snarl real low, so no one will hear you, for the whole of your break – every day.
Well – I tell you – that kid – she soon got fed – up – she soon felt really restricted – So – she joined the debating club instead. There were some great subjects for her where she could really positively channel her verbalized succinct annoyance. And she had fun.
She came back to see me – and said: I LIKE YOU…. Which from a kid – who I had told a while back – YOU ARE PATHETIC…. Is true praise. She gave me praise – and I truly wanted to give her praise – I said: YOU ARE SO BRIGHT….. and she responded – YOU ARE CONFIDENT….. and it wasn’t a question. Next….. it felt like together we were weaving something marvelous and tangible – like the real fabric of life – as I ADDED LOVELY THREADS – and did MAKE CONNECTIONS….. I also said – yes and –YOU ALSO ARE NOW MORE AND MORE CONFIDENT….. which is not open to debate.
We talked about what had all that tongue tied – all that chewed up stuff been about…..and agreed – there is no need to know – it is all in the past…….
We also agreed that debate helps….. YOU BECOME FREE…. Helps YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE CERTAIN…… that it is totally wonderful to BE YOURSELF….. EXPRESS YOUR POINT OF VIEW….. and know that from any view point there are at least 360 degree angle…….
I will look forward to seeing her again – just so we know – IT IS SO GOOD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY….

Warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com
*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A. – cutting edge: clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual – which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation – being happily, fully one’s self.

 

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

Kiss Me Kate …..

May 9th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Remember Amy – and her mother Kate?
Let’s recap:
Amy is in a new and happy relationship with Ted. They have been living contentedly and lovingly together for a few months.
Amy has a history of her father, who was a hard working man and loyal to his family, often coming home late from his job.
Amy’s Mum, Kate, was a woman who was protective of her family. Kate had been adopted when she was two and half years old. Kate had been seriously neglected as a baby by her parents who would leave their terrified baby to go out drinking.
Every time Amy’s Dad was late home from work, the young Amy witnessed and felt the furious and accusing response from Kate, her Mum, to her Dad.
Kate was being triggered into her ‘baby’ response of being terrified when she had a perception that she was being ‘abandoned’. No rational brain thinking such as: “My husband is devoted to us & he is looking after us by earring overtime……” can free Kate from her Unconscious response. Neither will such poppy cock as mind ‘control’ & mind ‘re-programming’, relaxation, EFT, CBT, ever resolve Kate’s response of terror. What will definitely cure Kate’s terror is Freeing & healing the wounded ‘child’ within her. My kind of Work!
Amy’s unconscious, when she was a small child, learnt to believe that this is the behaviour that must happen when you’re man is late home…..
Five months into Amy’s relationship living with Ted, he is late home.
Amy cannot get him on his mobile.
Amy’s conscious rational mind tries to consider that Ted is stuck in traffic, Ted has bumped into a mate and gone for a quick pint he hasn’t noticed the time, the battery is flat on Ted’s mobile….. and so on and so on…………..
But Amy’s unconscious mind has a perception, (which was learnt from her Mum’s behaviour,) her learnt belief kicks in automatically, as beliefs do, that Ted is abandoning and betraying her.
Amy, if you remember resolved this inner controlling of responses & behaviours belief, Amy chose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Courses spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so for 10 days – on exploring and then deconstructing the depths of negative, destructive, self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual and their own life story & experiences.

Kate’s husband, John, that’s Amy’s Dad, only wanted a kiss and a smile on his return home! Kate’s ‘driving’ pain of terror of abandonment became so chronic and acute, that by the time Amy was a young teenager Kate was in a fury, even when John was home on time!
Maybe you’ve witnessed parallel behaviours in others in your life time? The more someone overeats – the more they overeat, the more sleepless someone is, the less and less they sleep, the more someone worries the more they worry, the more nervous someone is the more nervous they become, the more angry………… Why?

Simplistically, the more we use that neural net – the more that neural net is instantly activated. The Great News! (Which we did not have ‘proof’ off ‘til around 3 decades ago) The neural net is not hard wired. We can change it. To do that we need to HEAL the problematic emotions – in Kate’s experience the emotion was Terror – at being abandoned. In a baby’s case – the Terror is of death. That is a monumentally huge terror.
Kate came to Work with me, urged by Amy I must say, who’d told Kate about my 40 day Course.
Kate is pretty & blonde. To begin with her head was bent most of the time and eye contact was rare. One of the first things Kate said was: “I’m too old to change, I don’t think – you can really help.” At the time Kate was 54.
I elegantly assured her – we’re never too old.
Now, here is something that will really interest you. Kate said: “I know I have some horrible feelings deep inside me, but I do not have the memories.”
You don’t need to have the memories to heal and free a wounded, stuck, lost, part of your self. The feelings, tho’ indeed horrible ‘guide’ to the healing of the feelings.
Kate did just that in our Work together, she found and freed and healed her self.
Is Kate happy now? Is John happy now? Oh, Yes!
Oh, and thank you for the ideas for our documentary film. Brilliant! Keep ‘em coming. Professor Kathryn Rossi & Dr Ernest Rossi have happily agreed to be involved – they’re doing an interview for us. That will be Mint!
Speak soon

Warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What’s Up Ted ……

April 25th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

So we really do want to continue to talk together about our Unconscious mind.
We’ve already asked ourselves: why would we want to bother? And, why am I always banging on about the Unconscious mind?
Our Unconscious is worth us re-capping:
Because: Our Unconscious mind, is ‘driving’ at least 90 % of our life.
Because: Our Unconscious is our own mind – it is the ‘world’ we live in, it is our inner world from which we perceive the outer world, it is from our inner world that we respond to & react to the outer world. We need to get to know it, it’s ‘where we live’ our life.
Because: It is this part of our mind which drives our problem states. Makes sense doesn’t it? None of us consciously want our problem states, and it’s not the weather, the government, our boss or our partner, our parents who drives the problem, it is our Unconscious response. Right!
And therefore it could be considered to be understandable that that is why most every single therapeutic strategy that I come across, (and I promise you I research extensively to discover what current strategies schools of psychotherapy are advocating,) is attempting to ‘control’ & ‘re-programme’ the Unconscious.
Does it sound odd to you that: our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’
Here’s a very, very simplistic example of a strategy, widely used in Psychotherapeutic work for re-programming the mind:
Affirmation! Try it yourself.
Think of a simple problem that you have. We’ve all got something that we’d like to improve in our Unconscious – because happiness & inner contentment with life does not have a ceiling!
So pause right now – it will only take a few minutes maximum – think of a simple problem, maybe like nervousness of public speaking, turn your problem on ‘it’s head’ & make, pretty much a polar opposite, to the problem, affirmation.
Like this example: “I have a problem in that I feel too nervous to give a public speech or presentation, my stomach churns & my throat dries up, & I’d love to be able to speak up in front of others….”
Affirmation:
“I am an acceptable person. My stomach & throat will be calm, & I will confidently speak up”
Will this affirmation for this person work, to re-programme the unconsciously driven nervousness at public speaking, when spoken or thought every day, several times a day, every 20 minutes through the day???
Not ‘in a month of Sunday’s will it ever work! (Not sure what ‘a month of Sundays is!! My Mum used to say it! And I knew what it meant! It meant never. She’d say: “Not ‘in a month of Sundays’ will I let you go into Manchester – dressed like that……”!!!)
What you will definitely notice – when you attempt to ‘re-programme’ your Unconscious – with your own personal affirmation – is inner, unconscious, resistance!
Resistance to your affirmation will manifest in your thoughts & probably in your feelings. Such as, your very next thought will be something like: “NO WAY…..” Probably followed by feelings in your body, maybe like a churning in the stomach, or a tightening of the throat, a stabbing in the heart, a heavy weight in the head….. and so and so on……..
Now, here’s the thing, Tah Dah, the resistance is absolutely the ‘key’ to unravelling deeply held negative beliefs. Honour the resistance & then differentiate out what got ‘ravelled’ into the negative self beliefs – & finally we are able to bring about lasting resolution
So, let’s, in light of my statement: “…..our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’” – explore what happened to young Amy.
Amy ‘learnt’ her belief from her Mum’s behaviour that, basically, if you’re man is more than 3 minutes late home you’re being abandoned. Abandonment causes fear in a young unconscious mind.
Ted, Amy’s beloved partner, whenever he was late home from work, or from any outing, triggered the fear response which Amy had learnt as a child. No affirmation or logic will stop Amy’s fear.
The mild mannered, gentle Ted finally became so frustrated with Amy’s fury with him and next her withdrawal, that Amy’s “Sorry….” just did not ‘cut it’ any more. Ted upped & left. How sad is that. So sad.
Amy, I am delighted to say contacted me. We had a good 45 minutes on the phone. Next Amy choose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Course spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so a day – on exploring the depths of negative self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual & their own life story & experiences. During those 10 days we also differentiate each negative belief ‘strand’ from the tangle of the negative belief system. And then we bring about lasting resolution – & then bring in a whole new appropriate & life affirming belief system. Good Hey……….
Amy phoned me a few weeks after she’d completed my course – she & Ted are back together & very happy.

Hurrah!
Oh & thanks everyone for your great thoughts & creative comments on the documentary we are making this summer “Why we are not free to be free … to be our self”
Keep your comments coming, ‘tis much appreciated. Thank you.
Warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A., cutting edge, clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual, which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation.

www.sally-stubbs.com/have-harmonious-relationships
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

What Drives Us …….

April 18th, 2013

unconscious mindHello:
Let’s get ‘into it’ today and really talk together about our Unconscious Mind.
Why would we want to bother? Why am I always banging on about the Unconscious Mind? Because, our Unconscious Mind, is ‘driving’ at least 90 % of our life.
Our Unconscious is our own mind – it is the ‘world’ we live in, it is our inner world from which we perceive the outer world, it is from our inner world that we respond to and react to the outer world. We need to get to know it, it’s ‘where we live’ our life.
It is this part of our mind which drives our problem states. Makes sense doesn’t it? None of us consciously want our problem states, and, it’s not the weather, the government, our boss or our partner who drives the problem, it is our Unconscious response. Right!
Therefore, it could be considered to be understandable that is why most every single therapeutic strategy that I come across (and I promise you I research extensively to discover what current strategies, schools of psychotherapy are advocating) is attempting to ‘control’ & ‘re-programme’ the Unconscious.
Here is a simple example: by way of explanation: of an inappropriate Unconscious response of Amy’s and how these kind of responses work in our life ‘automatically’ without us being able to rarely, if ever, consciously resist.
If you take this following simple example you will be able to apply it to many ‘problem’ states in which we experience an overriding automatic response, such as our stress response, our response to a trigger to a phobic state, our automatic response to food, our response which disables us from good sleep, our response of feeling nervous when we are asked to give a speech, and so on ……
Simple example:
Amy is in a new and happy relationship with Ted. They have been living contentedly and lovingly together for a few months.
Amy has a history of her father, who was a hard working man and loyal to his family, often coming home late from his job.
Amy’s Mum Kate was a woman who was protective of her family. Kate had been adopted when she was two and half years old. Kate had been seriously neglected as a baby by her parents who would leave their terrified baby to go out drinking.
Every time Amy’s Dad was late home from work, the young Amy witnessed and felt the furious and accusing response from Kate, her Mum, to her Dad.
Kate was being triggered into her ‘baby’ response of being terrified when she had a perception that she was being abandoned. No rational brain thinking such as: “My husband is devoted to us & he is looking after us by earning overtime……” can free Kate from her Unconscious response. Neither will such poppy cock as mind ‘control’ & mind ‘re-programming’ ever resolve Kate’s response of terror. What will definitely cure Kate’s terror is Freeing & Healing the wounded child within her. My kind of Work!
Amy’s unconscious, when she was a small child, learnt to believe that this is the behaviour that must happen when you’re man is late home…..
Five months into Amy’s relationship living with Ted, he is late home.
Amy cannot get him on his mobile.
Amy’s conscious rational mind tries to consider that Ted is stuck in traffic, Ted has bumped into a mate and gone for a quick pint, he hasn’t noticed the time, the battery is flat on Ted’s mobile…..
But Amy’s unconscious mind has a perception (which was learnt from her Mum’s behaviour) so her learnt belief kicks in automatically, as beliefs do, that Ted is abandoning and betraying her.
Ted walks in 53 minutes later than his usual time to return home to first of all Amy’s fury lashing out at him, pots & pans hurling past his head, and then Amy’s withdrawal into to some dark, moody, unreachable, ‘leave me alone’ state. Amy replicate’s Kate’s responses & behaviours perfectly.
Ted was late because he’d stopped off to get Amy a surprise gift…………..
Amy’s apology takes effort of reconciliation.
And the next time Ted is late home from work, stuck in traffic, a meeting running late…….the same ‘damn thing’ happens again – and again………..Amy’s response of fury & then withdrawal into ‘hiding’.
Amy needs the right strategies to communicate with her own unconscious self – to be able to unravel – and bring understanding into this now automatic response to her perception that she is – like her Mum’s belief – always going to be abandoned and betrayed.
No matter how much Ted assures Amy that he loves her, that he is loyal, he is monogamous, Amy’s unconscious won’t ‘get it’, not in a hundred years, until she learns how to communicate correctly with her own unconscious.
Kate’s inner Work with her unconscious will take more effort to free & heal her from her baby terror, & next her ‘baby’ need to withdraw. Simplistically terror & withdrawal for ‘baby’ Kate was an attempt to protect her. Simply speaking as long as ‘baby’ Kate is in a terror or even a withdrawn response – at least she is still alive.
Maybe you can begin to differentiate for your self, is your problem state actually coming from a wounded place within your younger self, or from a learnt belief?
You are so welcome to email me any questions or thoughts you have. I am here to help. It’s what I want to do, help you live your life being free to be your self.
We’ve loads more to talk about our amazing Unconscious mind.
Check out my half an hour a day for 40 days audio courses to resolve problems on my CDs & MP3’s on our websites. My courses are in the language of the Unconscious mind.

Thinking of you warmly
Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com

You will also be a most welcome visitor to www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/  where you will discover lots about our amazing unconscious mind…………..

Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
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ABOUT ‘IT!’

April 4th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hello

A friend, who is a lovely woman &  a caring intelligent mother (but her dog is thoroughly daft!) said to me: “Therapists always want to blame your childhood for mind-emotional problems!”

I really don’t know if this true or not, I mean, that Therapists ‘blame’ childhood experiences?

But I absolutely do know this certainly is not true of me and my work, whether that is 1:1 or through my audio work: And there is never ever any ‘blame’.

Blaming does not free & heal us.

I never, ever make suppositions, give advice, or give diagnosis, nor is my Work prescriptive, which may seem really weird to you.

Simplistically what I am doing is providing the unconscious mind a space to communicate its language, and for the unconscious to discover and resolve the problem state. Why? Because, as we’ve mentioned before, our problem state is unconsciously driven, and the paradox is our unconscious has the resolution to heal & free us from ‘where’ we got ‘stuck’ in time.

We unconsciously ‘freeze’ time in painful experiences in an attempt to stop this experience, in the next moments from probably or possibly getting worse, and therefore not emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, or physically safe for our self.

I’m maybe going to sound really weird to you now!: Mostly I’m communicating with “IT” so that “IT” can discover the exact right unique solutions for “IT”, “IT” being the problem. So, I’ll make sense of this now and you’ll say: Wow Sally’s not in the least bit weird! Simplistically “IT” is the part of our self which got ‘stuck’

So: Think of an emotional problem right now, and ask yourself:

How do I know that I have this emotional problem?

Maybe to begin with you’ll want to say all kinds about your life, like, I have this problem because of my boss, my relationship, my parent, my finances……. the weather…….. Then soon you’ll get to the problem inside of you, not these external triggers in your life, and your answer will be:

“IT” feels like this: “……in my head, chest, stomach, throat…… “IT’s” like knotting, churning, trembling, numb, stuck, heavy, fluttering…… “

There are literally a myriad of unique to you descriptions of “IT” So what happens next is that in therapy with me “IT” communicates it’s own information and goes on a journey to discover resolution for “IT” In my 1:1 & on my CD/MP3 audio courses – together, you & I safely allow “IT” to communicate & journey to “IT’s” resolutions healing & freeing

Then, halleluiah,  when “IT” has final resolution & freedom you’ll feel your boss’ ‘tantrums’ are like ‘water off a ducks back’ You’ll have resources to sort your relationship and finances – and Hey in bad weather you’ll feel well clothed and ‘weather proof’

Maybe Jonny’s video clip on You Tube will go some way to getting you a real sense of “IT” as “IT” for Jonny was a serious cancer. Jonny makes me cry happily every time I watch the clip – he’s just lovely. Jonny named his cancer ‘The Guys’. This was Jonny’s unconscious solution – not mine!! Enjoy Jonny’s smiling face, and knowing that seven years on he is well, successful and lovingly married. ENJOY Jonny.

Thinking of you warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

P.S. Any ideas you may have for our film:”Why we are not Free to be free to be our self. And, HOW we can be!” will be so gratefully received.  Thank you.

 

We Got Stuck!

March 28th, 2013

Sally - boa flying away!Hello
I hope all is going well for you.
You may have read some of what I want to talk about today in one of my previous letters, but I do believe its worthy of repeating!
Thanks for your patience with my ‘doggedness’!
We all want to be even happier, it is part of our human need to grow into our potential for happiness and success, and our potential is massive, our potential is way, way beyond our limiting beliefs…….
Countless people are suffering, really suffering, emotionally and psychologically.
Personal freedom is important to all of us. I don’t mean the lack of freedom which so many of us suffer in those countries where we are the victims of the vagaries of government, which is disgraceful and horrific of course, but this is not my expertise.
My expertise, my full on energy, is to put an end to our emotional and psychological suffering, and for us all to have, and to experience, and to celebrate the freedom to be ‘our self’.
Nearly all of us got ‘stuck’ somewhere in our life, in trauma, in crisis, or in a feeling of ‘catastrophe’ and that ‘stuck’ place put an end to our freedom to be our self, because of fear. Fear that the ‘next moment’ in time will be dangerous & destructive to our self. Whilst part of our self is ‘stuck’ we are not wholly free, free to be our self! Part of our self got lost in some horrid emotional ‘prison’ of stinky, toxic self beliefs and dodgy, often painful feelings.
Let me speak to you again about more of this, because emotional and psychological suffering is huge amongst us humans and is truly a huge subject for us all to consider.
Next time I’d like to talk with you about ‘Why?’ we got ‘stuck’ in time and then about: how we can move towards true and real freedom, to be our self. Happy in our ‘own skin’ and free to grow in our potential……..
We are at present putting together our ideas to make a film – the title is:” What we are not Free to be be free to be our self. And, how we can be!”
The how we can be free to be our self is vital, and for all my genuine, rigorous searching and researching, no one ‘out there’ in the well intentioned worlds of therapy really & truly have the how.
I am way excited about our film, if you’ve got any ideas for the content – I will be really thrilled to hear from you…………. sally@sally-stubbs.com
Do visit www.sally-stubbs.com/you’ll be most welcome and there are ‘cakes’ to be had and ‘eaten’! I’ve got ‘cakes’ for you called ‘sound bytes’ delicious little ‘tastes’ for you………. ‘Taste’ of how I Work on my CD/Mp3 therapeutic courses. ENJOY

You will also be a most welcome visitor to www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/where you’ll discover lots about our amazing unconscious mind…………..

Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

 www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my letters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list:

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My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

AN INTERESTING TAKE ON THE WEATHER?

March 20th, 2013

Catbells in FebruaryStormy Weather?

I recently read this Quote on Twitter: “Everyone can navigate in fine weather”.
It makes you think doesn’t it!
I replied to this Tweet.” I bet you’re not surprised!!!”
Writing what I wanted to say with a maximum of 140 characters was a heck of a challenge!
I replied: “The problem with the weather is that we get stuck with our inner ‘storms’ in our unconscious mind”.
This Tweet “Everyone can navigate in fine weather” was a great opportunity for me, as I continuously use the metaphor of ‘the weather’ in my Work.
And the problems that I see everywhere, from social media to the press, are that there are so many similar statements to this mild Tweet. Everywhere, so manypeople totally neglect to consider, discuss and enquire into the driving force in all our lives: The unconscious mind…..
Our unconscious mind is so often driving inner ‘stormy weather’ that navigating our lives can be difficult, or can sometimes feel downright dangerous.
How it works, how it ‘drives’ our inner pain and turmoil, how our unconscious paradoxically has the solutions, resolutions and resources to cure our suffering once and for all.
I talk with you about how to communicate with our unconscious.
How cure of our problem states is not a ten minute ‘fast food’ therapy.(FFT) Nor is it years and years of learning control and management and learning why we have these sufferings.
Forty days of effort, the right kind of effort, the exact right kind of communication with our unconscious, once a day for around half an hour for forty days, for most of our problems will bring about an enduring cure using my Rapha Hypnosis techniques.
As I’m writing this, I am reminded of a friend who I met in the late 1980’s
He had his dream career, his dream home in London,cars, money, travel, really good friends, and a hugely glamorous social life.
And yet he was very, very lonely; he longed for a close lasting relationship with a woman.
But relationships never worked for him.
When I met him he had been in therapy pretty much once a week for fifteen years! (I Groan with exasperation…)
He told me that the therapy had enabled him to know why he had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger (that seemed to come from that place called nowhere…) since he’d been a teenager.
But: He still had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger.
That is a huge BUT isn’t it! Poor bloke, I hear these all too often, makes me feel utterly sad.
I suggested he change his therapist, not easy after nearly fifteen years, and go and Work with a colleague of mine in London, Julie, we studied together with the great David Grove in Missouri.
My friend did go to do some Work with Julie. Three months later he was cured. A month after that he met Nancy.
He and Nancy have been happily married for over 20 years.
I cannot count the number of folks who over the past 30 years have said to me: “This is ridiculous that I have a problem….. the sleeplessness, anxiety, fears, nervousness, stress…… edgy relationships…. Feeling angry….. can’t stop eating….. inner turmoil…no self esteem……. When my life is fine.
I have a lovely home, my job is OK, I’m pretty successful….. my dog is gorgeous…….”
In other words:
The outer weather is fine. Sunny from time to time. The odd showers and winds. It could be better ‘weather’, but I can’t really complain!
The inner weather: Blows up turmoil and becomes stormy….. “When I’m around my boss, around food……. Have to present at a meeting……… so many things make me want to ‘run away and hide myself’”
The ‘outer’ triggers that stir up the inner ‘storms’
My metaphor ‘stands up’ when we now consider, bringing calm and CURE to the inner ‘storms’.
We can Work with our unconscious in a correct, right, safe, comfortable way, time moves on and ‘the storms’ are over.
We safely enable the inner ‘storms’ to complete them selves… to no longer be ‘stuck’ in time as a continuous whirling around in circles turmoil….. to no longer experience disturbance and distress in our inner emotional and psychological ‘land scapes’
So, do come visit me and find out more www.sally-stubbs.com or vist youtube.com just type in Sally Stubbs and examples of my work will appear.

Please do not hesitate to contact me: I would love to hear from you.

Thinking of you warmly…..
Sally

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

sally@sally-stubbs.com

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT!

March 14th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Happy Spring Time To You!
Like I’ve said before, I’m not being naive about us being happy, it’s a word I use to describe a state of being free from ‘chronic’ emotional and psychological suffering.
By ‘chronic’ I mean the ‘negative’ & ‘painful’ experiences & beliefs that ‘play on & on & on….’ in our minds – basically going nowhere towards resolution & healing
Apart from the horror of suffering the pain of grief or loss, and grief for others loss we can be happy in life, happy in our own ‘skin’!
No one, absolutely no one, in my 32 years of full time practice, has ever come to me and said; “I want you to help cure me because: I’m too happy!” No one! That’s a lot of folk in over a quarter of a century who’ve worked with me 1:1 or travelled with me on my audio courses, has ever said that!
So, I’ll say it again, because I can, I genuinely wish you a Happy Spring Time!
This is what I do, this is my passion, I serve people who Work with me, & journey alongside me on my audio courses, I assist them to ‘bake scrumptious, nourishing or just for fun cakes’, so that in life, not just for Spring time, we can: Have Our Cake and Eat it!
I do! And I didn’t used to! In my earlier life even if I saw ‘a cake’ right in front of me I’d unconsciously think, “Oh no! that ‘cakes’  not for me!”
I’d unconsciously think “That can’t be for me, I don’t deserve it!” Or: “It can’t possibly be that good ‘a cake’, life isn’t like that, life is disappointment!” Or I’d feel too scared or frightened, ashamed, gulity or embarrassed to even have a taste of good ‘cake’!
But, you’ll understand, that’s what I do, I communicate elegantly with the unconscious mind of others. So in my first year or two of working, I knew I had to ‘be in touch’ with my own unconscious and ‘heal my cracks’! And now, I ‘eat cake’!
I can personally tell you that Eating Cake does not turn you or /me into in some supercilious ‘fat cat’ who rail roads it over other fellow human beings. ‘Eating Good, Scrumptious, Nourishing, Fun Cake’ makes you want to share yours with everyone else.
I know I’ve used this metaphor of ‘Having Cake & Eating It’ before, however, it truly is a Great metaphor worthy of our deep consideration. Eating the Cake – is about nourishing our Self – our emotions our psyche – the ‘spirit’ of who we truly are.. Freeing our self from negative self beliefs & inner pain.
‘Cakes’ may seem for you or someone you really care about to be a million miles away, on another planet or always just out of reach. Honestly no matter how you suffer or a loved one of yours suffers, ‘cakes’ are accessible to us all. And to those who cannot access them, about which I am really sad, once we have our own ‘cake’ it’s only then that we can share with others, and about that I’m really glad. Basically & to be really blunt when we are starved of inner Happiness (whatever that means to us as individuals) we cannot ‘nourish’ others.
How can we begin to have ‘our cake and eat it’ and share it with others? Here’s a simple strategy for you:
Tip Top Tip:
• Validate your self. Stop ‘beating your self up’! When we ‘beat our selves up’ we believe we don’t deserve ‘cake’.
• How do you do this? Observe your invalidating of yourself inner dialogue, the: “I’m useless, I’m lazy, I let so & so down…. I’ve failed…….And so on and so on….”
• Observe & then write that stinky stuff down in a notebook and then with loads of energy delete that kind of dialogue.
• Take each one at a time – spend a couple of days on each one – Shout out loud – not the opposite – but a step towards the opposite. As my example: Take the “I am useless” step it over towards the positive by shouting out loud “I am really useful at …. “ Fill it in… with a statement you will believe such as this example: “I’m really useful at always being on time!”
• Invalidating your self does not make you a better person! It has no value in your life or the lives of others!
I’m really glad you’ve been listening to me – many thanks for that
You will be a most welcomed visitor at www.sally-stubbs.com
Thanks for listening
Thinking of You WarmlySally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endurewww.rapha-hypnosis.com

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

10 Top Tips To Get Happy Now!

March 7th, 2013

Be Happy1. Choose to Change:-     What stops us being happy, no matter what is happening in our life, are our ‘inner’ thoughts and beliefs.

2. Consider a Formula for Change:-    Every hour and a half throughout your day, pause for a few seconds and say, “I can change my thoughts and beliefs which do not celebrate my life”. The brain is in rest phase and the mind is ready to learn something new.

3.  Identify Your Desired State:-     Take time and write down your goal, your desired state. Focus throughout the day and plan your most important journey of your life – to happiness.

4.  Keep A Notebook:-    Carry your notebook and make lists – be ready to write down anything that will make you happier.

5.  Remind Yourself Why You Need Change:-    Get fully motivated towards reaching your destination. Imagine yourself with a serene or smiley face: hear your voice, strong, certain or calmn and notice the change.

6.  Keep Your Saboteurs In Check:-    Say your Mum had been a constant worrier – consistantly scared for your safety and wellbeing. Chronic worrying is a waste of time and life. You can say to yourself “I am going to have clear thoughts with loads of energy for my brain to respond with new and happier thought patterns.”

7.  Reflect:-    Take time to reflect on your percetions and response and discover you have the choice to change your peceptions and therefore your responses. Your mind and brain can now begin to have safe responses rather than her habituated fear responses.

8.  Pay Attention To Your Thoughts:-    Interrupt your patterns of ‘down’ thinking. So do something fast, really different like splashing your face with cold water and you will train yourself to interrupt your negative thought patterns.

9.  Find Your Space:-    Choose a time every day  say 15 – 20 minutes for time and space just for you. Choose to think things that make you feel good. You will soon discover that it is entirely up to you. You will then see how you will begin to feel ‘up’ and happier for longer and longer periods of time.

10.  Smile Every Day:-    Smiling instantly lifts your mood: If Life Gives You Lemons – How 10 Seconds a Day Will Bring You Happiness.

 

Enjoy my top tips: comments welcome sally@sally-stubbs.com

Sally

sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

 

 

 

HERE COMES THE SPRING:

February 28th, 2013
budding crocus!

budding crocus!

Hello : a beautiful gorgoeus sunny day here in the Lakes:
Life is abounding with Great Opportunities for us all. Which, as we’ve discussed, is really hard if not at times impossible for our mind to even contemplate ‘seeing and hearing’, let alone acting upon, when we are ‘suffering’ a mind – emotional problem.
A client said something really awesome to me; it stopped me in my stride! Which, actually clients always do stop me in ‘my stride’ every day – because I learn so much that is new and valuable from them.
What do I learn?
Well, I learn about Consciousness. I learn about: ‘To boldly go where no man has been before’ (quote from Star Trek – for those non Trekky’’s amongst us!)
I am ‘bold’ enough to reframe this quote, with all respect to Gene Rodenberry who developed Star Trek in 1964, that we are to boldly ‘go’ and explore ‘inner space’, explore the as yet unexplored boundless, freeing Consciousness.
I absolutely know that as we explore & expand our Consciousness we Free ourselves from mind & emotional problems & suffering which ‘stagnate’ us & ‘control’ us.
We Free our self into peace, inner stability, inner resourcefulness, inner & outer harmony & well being.
Anyway, I was talking with you about my client who was working on a problem he had (of course he was – no one comes to me to Work because they are full on happy!)
His problem was about the painful hurt he was suffering in a close and important relationship.
I asked him: “What do you want to achieve?”
He replied; “I want to have meekness.”
I never ever make suppositions about any of my Work either in my recorded CD/Mp3 courses, or my 1:1 Work. But I was struck surprised by his word ‘meekness’. I asked him what he meant by meekness? He said that: “Meekness is the ability to see clearly and to not mind….. “
Brilliant!
In other words – to be in a place and space in our mind to no longer be responding from ‘pain’ and hurt, and therefore to not respond inappropriately by either ‘withdrawing into a bleak hiding mood’ or getting into a ‘fury’ – or turning to food – feeling frightened, nervous – stressing, tossing and turning all night……….that endless circle of not knowing whether to blame them (or blame something, the weather, the government, the price of fuel…..) or take the blame our self.
Considering ‘meekness’ as a response is not me or my client being naïve! It is about seeing clearly – not minding – and having time to respond appropriately. By appropriately that means from a ‘clean’ clear place that is in the present free of hurt or ‘pain’ from our past.
So, I think his take on ‘meekness’ is truly awesome.

How can we begin to do this? And meekness may of course not be your preferred response. How can we respond to the ‘stinky’ stuff from a ‘clean’ resourceful place.

.
Here’s a Tip Top Tip from me – for you to work with:
Pause for a few moments, even though you’re hurting, and ask: “Does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience?”
You’ll know if it belongs to a younger life experience because you’ll have had the feelings & thoughts before, the feelings & thoughts won’t be brand new, there will be a familiar ‘knotting’ of ‘pain’ in your stomach, chest, heart, throat….A churning…. an emptiness…… a pounding….. a tightening…….. a pressure…… a heaviness……. a numbing & a withdrawing………..
Once you realise this is familiar ‘pain’ the strategy is to acknowledge it by saying convincingly to yourself:
“That’s Right! That really did hurt me …when I was aged about…….(You’ll know about how old you were…) So, in ‘honouring’ your past ‘pain’ you help your self not to hide and withdraw into a mood or get angry with them, or angry with whatever is going on for you in the present – and you also help to ease, and even begin to resolve, a past ‘pain’ with which you got ‘stuck’
And – what you will be doing with my Tip top Tip – is: ‘To boldly go where no man has been before’ – You will journey boldly & also totally safely – you will I promise, gain some Amazing results for your self.
How do I know that my Tip Top Tip is safe for you to ‘Enterprisingly’ journey in your Consciousness? I know because for over 30 years I’ve studied, diligently the Clean Language of the Unconsciousness mind. And the question: “Does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience?” is exactly that: Clean. It does not give (import), advice, suppositions, suggestion or analysis.
ENJOY your boldness & ENJOY your amazing results

You’ll be a very welcome visitor to www.sally-stubbs.com/ where there’s loads of great information & also at www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
My Story “It’s A Breeze Let the New Blow In” will absolutely help you to ‘boldly go’ Have a listen on You Tube.

Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com comments are very welcome

WHY WE’RE ‘BLIND DEAF’ TO GREAT OPPORTUNITIES:

February 25th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hello
Sorry I’ve been a bit ‘off the radar’ recently. Life has been hectic.
I totally believe, no! I know that great good opportunities abound – for all of us – but we cannot see them or hear them or feel them when our minds are suffering because much of our unconscious – and conscious mind – is tied up in our problem state trying to find solutions, particularity the solution: I Must  “Pull myself up with my boot laces!”

Very British but actually defies physics! No Joke! We can’t! So as we continue to suffer with our problem, from lack of self worth to being overweight, to feeling perpetually angry with the world, to not being able to sleep, to feeling nervous, anxious, frightened and upset……… we are ‘blinded’ and ‘deafened’ to some of the really truly great good opportunities in life. Why are we? Because we have to keep our ‘eyes and ears’ on our problem, we do this in the hope that our problem doesn’t get worse. And when we do see and hear these opportunities we feel ‘frozen’ unable to do anything, unable to respond. We think; “Oh God that great opportunity is not for me! I’m too fat, too nervous, too tired…….. I’m bloody angry! I’m tired and weary of trying and failing, my confidence has fled….”
Let us consider a brief overview of history of our amazing human achievement:
Homo sapiens, the closest to us as humans, first appeared, according to fossil evidence, about 200,000 in East Africa.
The Renaissance was a cultural movement that spanned the period roughly from the 14th to the 17th century.
Since the renaissance, let us wonder at what we have gone on to achieve in a very, very short period of time:
The industrial revolution spread throughout Britain during the 1800’s. As we know the use of steam-powered machines lead to a massive increase in the number of factories and so on – amazing feats of engineering.
The technological revolution really started to get big in the 1960’s.
Why, you may well be asking, are we considering the speed of what we humans have achieved in such a short amount of time?
Because we need to ask: What’s next?
What’s next is the Consciousness revolution! “What does that mean?” a friend asked me the other week.
It is the Evolution of the mind. The healing of the mind & the emotions ‘pain’ & bewilderment. It is the clearing of the clutter of negative or destructive beliefs gained or learnt thru’ life. It is the mind becoming a ‘weapon’ for mass Construction of inner and outer harmony. It is the exploration of ‘Man’s final frontier’ – ‘inner’ space.

I can promise you that I am not being naive here!
I used to be ‘blind’ and ‘deaf’ – to my immeasurable potential – I also suffered all the problems – the anxieties the fear the lack of sleep…..! And I got resolution, thru’ my kind of therapy work, so I know you can, or your friend or family member can.
So what can we do to resolve our suffering and our hurt?
Two main things we can do.
One – We can learn to unlearn our inappropriate unconscious responses, over which we feel we have no control, to certain stimuli or ‘triggers’ in our daily lives.
Two –  We can discover how to heal and free ourselves from our emotional wounds where we got ‘stuck’!
Do visit www.sally-stubbs.com -contains lots of good solid rigorously researched information.

We need to discover the right way to clear our mind – to experience our ‘inner’ world as pristine. This is what I’ve devoted my life to: learning the how to do this.
Thanks for listening
Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com

Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

GET OFF THE FENCE!

February 14th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

No More Pussy Footing Around

Hello

Great, we’re ‘getting off the fence’ as regards suffering! Real horrific suffering.
Pain, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’
Dr. John Sarno calls it ‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’
This is a story about Debbie (not her real name).
I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!
Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with depression and prescribed anti depressants.
Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did.
I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up.
Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’
Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me”, and she constantly feels totally numb.
In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me”, which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.
Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.
So I asked what happened about ten years ago.
“My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.
Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”
Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”
Believe me, I personally totally understand such great, great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our heart and mind.
But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.
Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death.
This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.
Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………
Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting………
And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her self to make the effort.
I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you.
I believe her story will somehow help you.
So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here is your medication.”
“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a therapist for you who Works this way…..”
Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s heart wrenching………..please visit
www.rapha-hypnosis.com you will be warmly welcomed.
Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

http://www.sally-stubbs.com/

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com please feel free to contact me:

THE FROG CHILD?

February 6th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

More on the frog story:)
Hello:- read out loud!
So let’s really get down to it – and wonder some more – about the two frogs in our story:
One of them is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary……………..
 Who is our first Frog?
First Frog is pretty much all of us.
Then there’s Frog Two – the one on top – the one who seems totally carefree, emotionally sorted (that’s a rare being!) the one who says kind, logical, practical and eventually bloody infuriating stuff to first Frog like:
“Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.”
“I’ll give you a hand,” “Hah but – there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. “And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“What about companionship with other frogs?”
Of Frog Two – am I saying – pretty much all us humans have got ‘stuck’ with one or more emotional issues. (‘Issues’ is the modern word for bewilderment & even ‘pain’)? Yes I am too.
And I do have every respect for those Frog Two’s in our life – for the outstanding attempts that they make to deal in their own life with their emotional ‘issues’.
Lets now turn our attention to Frog One:-
When First Frog was younger – First Frog was fascinated by most all and everything in life. Exploring, hopping off in all, (and occasionally ‘wrong’!) directions, and absolutely filled with curiosity. The world was at one with First Frog and First Frog was at one with the world.
Can you remember those times?
All around our young First Frog were – bigger frogs. Sometimes HUGELY big frogs – those are the frogs with authority – the frogs that can lay down the law. The frogs that can inform First Frog of stuff that is not the truth – such as “First Frog you are useless, not perfect – and not acceptable.”
All this from some of the big frogs and some of the HUGELY big frogs – is the heavy traffic that ‘made the ruts’ in the world of First Frog.
And you know most of the big frogs did not realise what they were doing. And did not notice that First Frog hid in the ruts – to keep safe.
Why would we hide in the rut – it seems like a paradox?
It goes like this: HUGELY big frog informs First Frog – “You are useless!” – HUGELY big frog will usually throw into the mix – some annoyance, frustration, anger – or the ‘… you are hurting me….’ looks and sighs. Now First Frog is not only useless they are guilty of hurting…..
It is safer for First Frog – to ‘go into’ – and hide their true buoyant, zest for life nature – in the ‘I am useless’ rut.
I wanted us to spend some time with this today – because – my ‘Tip Top Tips’ – last week were for you to write down your goal – WHICH HAS GOT TO BE the beginning ‘first step’ to get out of your ‘problem’ state – and for you to next write down your reasons and purposes to be in a problem free state.
Well, as for our First Frog – there is an inner understanding that it is safe to remain stuck in the ‘I am useless rut’.
This is so often a deeply driven understanding. We hide our true self away – to keep our true self safe – because what might the HUGELY big Frog do next. Best stay in the ‘rut’ & keep quiet.
So, reasons and purposes are really valuable on this journey to being problem free. Reasons & purposes won’t quite cut it yet. Even though they are our very own – and not Frog Two’s –
“You’ll have more friends and better food up here…”

YOUR reasons & purposes will definitely assist us to get motivated. We next need to unravel the beliefs that are tangled up within us – before we can know that is safe to come out – and be free – free of our problem state.
I’m thinking you could be a little excited – to wonder that next week we are going to Work on untangling the negative beliefs that keep us in or problem state – our ‘rut’ our place of hiding.
Do go and listen to my gift for you – which I have posted on You Tube called –‘ It’s a Breeze’ – This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s only taken me 30 years to perfect this Hypnotic story along with my other ones.
It’s only been on You Tube a few days – and I’ve had loads of great feedback.
ENJOY it…………………
Listen to this one story every day for 10 days – it will so help you clear your mind to get really focused on your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: please check out my life changing material here.

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

http://www.rapha-hypnosis.com/
www.sally-stubbs.com
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list: support@sally-stubbs.com
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

AND THE QUESTION IS?

January 30th, 2013
getting out of a rut!

getting out of a rut!

Are you stuck in a rut?

Remember the two frogs in our story?

One of them is hopping around, in circles, in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The thing is, the frog hid in the rut when the passing heavy traffic got too much, too scary.
The other frog shouts down to him: “Hey, why don’t you come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up: “I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog. “Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.” “OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And good food not the garbage you’ve got down there. And you’ll sleep better out here.” “I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?” “Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
When we are stuck in a ‘rut’ – and by ‘a rut’ I mean the symptoms which cause us emotional ‘pain’ such as:
• being disconnected from our self and from others
• of relating badly to our food,
• of being afraid,
• feeling nervous
• panicky
• stressed
• of not sleeping well
– and so on – our wonderful well meaning friends will ask of us, with great concern: Why don’t you think happy thoughts? Why don’t you just go out and socialise? Why don’t you learn about which are the healthy foods?
Because our friends’ are wonderful and caring and what they ask of us makes perfect sense – we maybe try the happy thoughts or the socialising for a while. None of it is lasting, because part of us is still ‘stuck’.
Unlike our first frog – we do not want to wait for a major crisis coming along in our life to make us move out of ‘where we are stuck’.
The ‘Why’ questions do not work to help us to really move out of our ‘stuck state’.
Let’s try as an example: – “Why don’t you think happy thoughts?”
“Because I’ve tried that and failed, it doesn’t last. Because I don’t actually feel happy when I make myself have happy thoughts!”
Conversely the goal setting question does work – it is the beginning point to be able to move ‘out of the stuck’ place
Our goal gives us a place to go to – otherwise we won’t move. We would never get out of our chair unless we had a goal – even to go and make a hot drink!
I have talked about this question before; it’s well worth another viewing!
Here it is, ask yourself:
“And – what do I want to have happen?” (Mark this because it’s the Golden Bullet of this letter)
Because this is an unusual question – you will get unusual responses from yourself.
Go for it! Write it down. Be spontaneous. Have a flow of consciousness – or ‘nail it’ straight away.
I am talking here about emotional and psychological goals, such as:
“I want to stop feeling depressed, angry, lonely, misunderstood. I want to be myself – I want to know myself, find myself. I want to be free to be me. I want to sleep well. I want to be happy in my own skin……..”

Write it down. Ponder on your goal. We can all do this goal setting regularly. It is part of our humanness to want to ‘move on’ in our immeasurable potential!
Next – you need your purposes and reasons for wanting your goal – without these our mind will not make the move to change. Write them down.
We would not get out of our chair to make a hot drink – unless we had reasons – the obvious – “I’m thirsty!” “I need a break from my chair!!”

Please enjoy my gift to you which I have posted on You Tube called –’ It’s a Breeze’ – This 20 minute story I recorded to really help you clear your mind – freeing your mind to think clearly and be focused on your goal and your reasons and purposes to want to achieve your goal.
It’s a Breeze helps you communicate with the ‘latent’ wisdom and resources of your unconscious mind, assisting you to move towards your goal.
Also for those of you who are not familiar with my Work which can be 1:1 – or my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses, please check out my life changing material here.

ENJOY

Thinking of You Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com

www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

A Travel Guide To Get You Out Of A Rut!

January 23rd, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Hop out of your rut?

We’ve had a really great response from readers of Time Out London, brilliant and a very warm welcome to you all.
.

I’ve been thinking about how we get ‘stuck’ in patterns of thinking, beliefs and behaviours, which do not actually validate our self and do not fully celebrate our life.

It’s like the story about two frogs.
One of them is hopping around in a deep rut made by heavy passing traffic. The other frog shouts down to him:
“Hey, come up here, it’s much nicer and there’s plenty of food.” The frog down below looks up:
“I can’t get out.” “I’ll give you a hand,” says the other frog
“Leave me alone, I’m fine, I find food down here.”
“OK,” says the second frog, “But there’s much more space up here to explore and see and hear different things, and feel the sun and the breeze. And you’ll sleep better out here.”
“I’ve got everything I need down here.” says the hopping around in his lonely hole frog.
“What about companionship with other frogs?”
“Oh friends pass by above me and I see them distantly for a while.”
The second frog heaves a frog sigh and bounces off.
A few days later the second frog is amazed to see the first frog jumping natural frog jumps about beside him:
“Hey, what happened, I thought you were staying in your rut?”
“Yeah, I got out! There was a big truck coming!”

A few people over the years have said to me:
“Um, well, I haven’t heard or seen the truck coming at me yet!”
And basically a few of these same people have carried on to say: “What’s the point in getting out of my rut? I’ve adapted my self to being here. Sure, I’m disconnected from other people; I’m even disconnected from my real self. So, I’m not healthily nourished. However it’s safe to ‘hide’ in my rut! And the truck coming will never get me.”
This really is the Essence of why we stay stuck in the rut – it is a place or state to be safe.
Let’s take a few moments to consider a few symptoms to help make sense of this wonderful metaphor of the stuck frog.
Symptoms such as nervousness, anxieties, fears, sleeplessness, difficulty relating to other people and to our self, difficulty in relating happily to our food intake – and so on………
All these symptoms are actually searching for the problem – and the problem is that at certain times in our life we got ‘stuck’ The issue is that this problem is a paradox – in that being ‘stuck’ – was originally a protection, a safe space to live a part life – never- the-less a ‘safe’ space at the time. Eventually our ‘safe’ space begins to feel more like a prison, we feel disconnected from life and from our vast potentials.
So I think that I can say, as an overview of my Work, 1:1 – and my Work on my half an hour a day for 40 day CD / MP3 audio courses: is I’m assisting the discovery of a safe natural space outside of the ‘rut’. I’m a travel guide to getting out the rut.
By the way I have uploaded one of the 15 tracks from my ‘Don’t Wait to be the Right Weight’ audio treatment to You Tube for you to get a feel for how I communicate with your unconscious. Have a listen?
Celebrating life and thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com

SELF CONFIDENCE – RECIPE FOR SUCCESS!

January 21st, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Successful people ooze self confidence: this probably explains why so much psychological research has been done to identify what it is that all successful people have in common. And by successful, the research ranged from someone wanting to be successful in their home life, family, health, relationships, or creative work  to the massive corporate businesses such as Bill Gates at Microsoft.

How to apply positive strategies… in order to successfully grow your own confidence you need to do three things:
Number 1 – know what you want: this means that you need to set yourself a comprehensive goal.
You may feel overwhelmed by the number of goals that you want to achieve. You need to take one goal at a time, perhaps a small one to begin with. Write it down; continue to refine your goal as you go along.
Number 2 – know your reasons or purposes to succeed as you need to know this in order to remain fully motivated.
This will help you to focus on your motivation for achieving your goal. As all behaviour has a purpose, behaviour does not have meaning as such, behaviour has purpose, knowing your own unique purposes to gain self confidence, will really ‘spring board’ you towards achieving your goal successfully.
Number 3 – you must believe that you will succeed.
Once you have these three things you will then have the self confidence to accomplish what you want.
You will need to work to change your negative beliefs. Our beliefs are driving a massive part of our behaviour. If we believe we can, we can. If we believe we can’t, we can’t.

Here are some practical tips on how to accomplish these tasks and use them to improve your self confidence.

Setting your goal
Always write your goal in the positive. Why? Because, simplistically our amazing brain will respond to an instruction to be calm, strong, and have inner harmony. Rather than responding to an instruction to not be nervous and tongue tied.
Our brain is amazing, but it will see and hear, ‘be nervous and tongue tied’. Just as you have done as you have been reading this!
Once you have decided what your goal is you need to speak your goal, out loud, several times. As you speak, the vitally important thing for you to do is to be very aware of any inner objections, (which will be negative beliefs,) either in your feelings or your thoughts. An objection could be something like a knotted stomach, or a negative ‘I can’t do that…’ thought.

Know your purpose
So, this is about you getting really focused and motivated, with loads of energy to move you onwards to successfully achieve your goal. As I’ve said, deeply knowing your own purposes will assist your motivation.
You may be thinking that your purposes to gain self confidence are obvious? No they aren’t, your purposes will contain nuances and fine details unique to you.
So, let us consider having the confidence to go for that job interview. Your goal is to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when you’re communicating with interviewers.
So, you need to then ask yourself: What is my purpose in wanting to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when I’m communicating with interviewers?
My example answer: This will really help me in my career.
Keep asking, to really get to your depth of purpose: What is my purpose in really wanting to get on with my career?
Answer: My family and friends will be proud of me.
I urge you to keep on asking the same question, and the same for each of your purposes, until you maybe get a ‘Ting’ moment, which gives you a deeper understanding of your purposes than you’d thought of before. In my simple example, the ‘Ting’ moment is like this: ‘Wow, I hadn’t realised that I want my family and friends to feel proud of me!’
I urge you to make notes about your purposes.
This is a very simplistic example, I so hope it lets you realise the depths and importance of really knowing your own purposes.
Believe in yourself
The problem with this is that many of our beliefs are unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them. How can you first know, and then deconstruct your unconscious negative beliefs, specifically about achieving your goal?
Seriously, achieving this can be tricky on your own; it can be like ‘pulling yourself up by your own boot laces’. You may want to consider my course on gaining self confidence which is assisting you to work comfortably with your own unconscious beliefs, an amazing thing to do. Unconscious belief systems can be tricky because the ‘language’ is of the unconscious.
Take your time to write notes by asking questions of all the objections. Ask: Where does that objection come from? As you learn the history of the negative beliefs, you will be able to deconstruct them.
Along with my studies and practice of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy I have developed my remarkable courses available as a set of 5 CD’s or as MP3 download from my web site:http://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3
I wish you every success and an inner experience of unity, harmony and peace.

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

DIFFERENTIATION of POSITIVE & NEGATIVE BELIEFS:

January 16th, 2013

Sally Stubbs

Good Day to All

I woke up this morning with a good plan to talk more with you about the’ Little Girl’s’ amazing pure wisdoms, particularly about what she has called ‘blind spots’.

I mean, there is a load more about this for us to explore and make useful in our day to day life. Assisting us all towards more happiness, more inner awareness in our search for our ‘pristine me’, more inner certainty combined with a wise flexibility.

Like I’ve said before I do not put a ceiling on our inner happiness!! Inner happiness is not a ‘sum’ – it is immeasurable in potential.

And, you know if you disagree with me, great, your disagreement will be a gift of exploration for me, expanding my thinking and perceptions, I’d love to hear from you privately: sally@sally-stubbs.com

Last week I received an email which uplifted me, (and I’m ensuring the content and the person remains private).
The title of the email is: ‘Finally contacting you!’ Their opening words are:
“For more than a year I have been wanting to contact you but always felt “inappropriate” to do so.
Tonight I am taking the plunge……”

It seems it was my friend ‘The Little Girl’, and her understanding of ‘blind spots’ which gave encouragement to this person to, after a whole year: ‘…take the plunge…..’ I felt privileged to receive this story, I totally respect the effort and courage an email like this one takes…………

Anyway, my plan for us to explore more about ‘blind spots’ today does link with my Rant!
My Rant is about a video which I decided to watch this morning, on the internet. Certainly it was put up there by a very well-meaning coach.

Well-meaning versus mis-guided – is my Rant!

The coach maintained that we can dump all our negative belief systems within seconds and: “You’ll wake up in the morning, jump up to throw the curtains back, and live an entirely new and successful life”….(Once you buy her: ‘Dump your negative beliefs course in seconds’…. nonsense)

Hey, I do not have any Rant about marketing Great products! My Rant is about products that do not ‘do what it says on the tin’.

Simplistically this is how our belief systems work: – Some of our beliefs, are actually treasures, such as our values, our social morays, our sense of responsibility and care for others and our environment…….
Our positive beliefs will have aspects that are undifferentiated from our negative beliefs. My allegory is like our pristine ‘me’ our pristine experience of ‘self’ – along with the added positive beliefs that we learnt though life, is pure water – into which also drops and drops and drops of different stinky murky stuff was poured!
Stinky stuff you might have been exposed to such as: “Your ‘me’ is unacceptable…” “Your ‘me’ is a failure…..” “Your ‘me’ is ugly….”

Differentiation required: – To separate and clean out the ‘stinky stuff’ & keep and maintain well the treasures of positive beliefs – Takes Time! And care!
Why do we need to Take Careful Time? Because our ‘me’ will not come out of hiding if we do a fast swift ‘clean out’.
As Mike says: “Our ‘me’ is not interested in ‘fast food’ therapy! It is wise enough to know ‘fast food’ will not nourish it!”
So, in praise of your ‘me’ my CD / MP3 courses take half an hour a day for 10 of the forty days to Work thoroughly on differentiation, cleaning out the negative ‘muck’ and treasuring our positive life enhancing, life celebrating beliefs…………http://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3 this is where you can find details of all my treatments: please take a peek….
I have uploaded a complete track, one of the 15 from my ‘Don’t Wait to Lose Weight’ course on You Tube for you to listen to so you can get a feel for how I work.
On this track I am communicating in the language of the unconscious so it might sound a little strange, just go with it and enjoy the experience. (By the way it is not the track about differentiation).

Celebrating life and thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://www.sally-stubbs.com

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My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

EVER VIGILANT GUARDIAN:

January 9th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

More wisdom from my friend the wise “Little Girl”

I am wishing you every joy, and every happiness not just for the coming New Year – for all the years to come……………………
Let’s talk some more about my friend the “Little Girl” and what she has to say.
Because, whatever problem any of us may be suffering – her wisdom is wondrously universal. Her wisdom will assist any of us to gain insights as to how we can return to our pristine, resourceful, happy self, no matter if we are suffering with sleeplessness, or carrying ‘weight’ – or relating to our self without esteem and respect for our self.
Name it!
And if her insights don’t apply I’ll make another offer to eat my hat!
So my friend the “Little Girl”: She has been talking to me about what she calls ‘blind spots’.
“You can have blind spots about your ‘me’ and about other people and situations. Blind spots happen when you have an ‘Ouch’ sometimes a huge ‘Ouch’. Some ‘Ouches’ are small and they can add up, like a sum, to a big ‘Ouch’ Blind spots are made of horrid stuff – that’s not real though they feel real until you see through them.”
Bear with me please – this is such pure information, and can make for such huge important changes.
She and I talked for a couple of hours about ‘blind spots’ and I’m about to have the impudence to précis our talk!!
OK – examples are the simplest way to précis.
Your parent, parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicates to your ‘me’:
“Your (me is) stupid – ugly – useless – a failure – unacceptable………….”
Your ‘me’ feels ‘Ouch’
Add a few ‘Ouches’ together and your ‘me’ – your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’ goes into hiding, withdraws.
And your ‘me’ often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding.
The ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real beautiful bright useful acceptable ‘me’.
The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from a wrong communication, which caused an ‘Ouch’, from parents, teacher, friend, sibling.
By the way, seeing through the wrong communication does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend…….
So why would you bother to restore your ‘me’ to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony?
Because when our ‘me’ is in hiding we have symptoms such as difficulty relating, sleeplessness, phobias, can’t relate to food in a good way, get nervous, lack self esteem. These and symptoms like them deprive you of a fully happy, harmonious life.
So how can you begin to restore your ‘me’ to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

Get started on one of my half an hour a day for forty days courses on CD or MP3 download. (Money back guarantee.)
Have a look at the websites http://www.sally-stubbs.com/ and http://www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
You will comfortably find and restore your ‘me’.
Your ‘me’ has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do whatever you want.
Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one. He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.”
Although he is a successful business man, and he has two uni. Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really stupid. I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.”
He did my 40 day, 30 mins a day CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found his ‘me’!
Contact me if you would like my advice, on my private email sally@sally-stubbs.com
Once we find our ‘me’ and is restored to ‘it’s’ rightful place, like the writing that runs throughout a stick of rock, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space – Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ in our living room!!
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://www.sally-stubbs.com/

Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

LIBBY’S SUCCESS STORY: GROW YOUR OWN HAIR!

December 20th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Libby’s Story
Here for you, to uplift your heart, as it does mine, is a profound story, Libby’s story.
If you don’t shed a soft tear or two at Libby’s story, and her exquisite way of talking, I promise you I will eat my hat!
Libby wanted her story in her own name.
I haven’t met Libby yet, though I have ‘journeyed’ with her and ‘beside’ her for one hundred and twenty days on my CD course; “You Can Grow Your Own Hair.”
I will meet her soon; I’m going to give her a hug.
Libby tells you her story, she wrote it for me and sent it in the post. It was really brilliant to open, neatly hand written on sheets of pale blue paper.
“My name is Libby and I am fifty three years old. I consider myself to be a nice person, you see I had to learn to love myself; my childhood was so hard, I never ever felt loved.
Then my first husband was a control freak. For thirteen years I just existed. I was continuously beaten up, and I was also put down with every word he ever spoke to me.
When I finally got out of that I made a promise to myself to trust only in myself.
Life on the outside got easier, but on the inside I was crying and crying all the time.
By 1999 my parents were dead and by 2006 I had lost my brother and my sister.
I had lovely people beside me, my second husband and my three children. And yet I still felt the crying and crying going on and on inside me.
From 2006 I threw myself into work, doing two part time jobs and wedding buffets at weekends. All this was just activity, no time for reflection, just work keeping me on my feet, keeping me constantly busy and so stopping me from thinking about the past.
But you see, I know that this was just ‘papering over the cracks’, and not bringing any kind of healing for me to my past, not helping me move on into what I had, in the present, which is a good life with my lovely husband and my lovely children.
I just kept on working I just kept on and on going and going to try to save me from the pain of thinking of the years gone by.
Then in February 2010 I was diagnosed with alopecia and within eight weeks I was totally, totally bald.
I was completely devastated. I did not have any faith in the doctors, why should I, they were not helpful.
I read about an alopecia club in the town where I live and I thought: “If I go along maybe they, or someone could help me….”
I went along and I told the group that I do not trust people easily. I made a friend and I was put in contact with Sally Stubbs.
But here I was, having to think about putting my trust in a complete stranger. Could I trust Sally to help?
But what more did I have to lose; I mean I’d lost all my hair, which is so devastating, I mean a totally devastating thing, to lose all your hair.
A leaflet arrived with Sally’s CD course which said “You Can Grow Your Own Hair”
I thought, if only I could. I thought, if I do this one hundred and twenty day course what will happen?
Well this is what happened. On May 15th 2010 I made my mind up to do the course. I listened every day, I worked on my journal, I listened to the stories and to the relaxations, very soon I got to feel really focused and wanting to do it.
And, within two weeks I noticed changes like my nails were stronger, which I strangely knew meant an emotional change and strengthening for me and there were tiny little hairs on my bald head.
Then I thought if I continue, if I just trust in Sally’s work to help me, something good can continue to happen for me.
And wow, by the ninth part of my course, which was on day eighty one, I really did understand the importance of trust. I also knew by then that every single hair I had lost represented every pain that I had ever felt and suffered. Yes, that’s right I knew that I had suffered thousands of pains.
My emotional pain has healed now, it’s like it has mysteriously been acknowledged, honoured, like my pains have been witnessed or respected and so they are gone.
When I started Sally’s CD course I had some edible seeds, which I had hoped against hope would help my hair to grow if I ate them. I took those seeds and planted them in a plant pot, they became a kind of symbol for me, if the seeds grow so will my hair.
Sally taught me a lot, about belief, especially belief in your self, whilst I was doing her course on the CD’s.
I have this thought now which is, if I believe in my self then I will achieve.
And yes the plant pot is full of lovely purple flowers and yes my head is full of lovely hair.
The course is like an exciting journey, a bit like the Matrix film for me, I listened to the course a couple of times and I was hooked, I was excited I wanted to know and learn and achieve more and more. I find myself smiling a lot of the time, I can now tell myself: If I look up to the stars I will smile if I keep looking down I will frown.
I find myself helping other people with my knowledge from Sally’s CD course.
I’d like to tell you one of my stories, it’s about an elderly gentleman who I work with, he is eighty nine and he is crippled with arthritis, he can use his walking frame.
He used to play the trumpet in a band, a man full of music and rhythm.
He loves the rock and roll years and he loved to dance.
But he told me that he can’t walk let alone dance anymore.
I found myself saying to him, “does your brain want to dance but your body believes it can’t?”
He said yes, that’s right. I replied: “Focus your mind that you can get up and dance….”
And he got up, with a little help from me and then he did dance, he rocked to rock around the clock. How brilliant is that.
As he sat down he cried tears of absolute joy.”
I want to hug Sally. I cannot thank her enough. She helped me to find my self.
There aren’t enough thanks in the world for Sally, because finding your self is invaluable.
No more loss for me.
I had lost my self that’s why I had lost my hair.”
If I look up to the stars I will smile if I keep looking down I will frown.”
Libby Bolton
“If I believe in my self I will achieve.”
Libby Bolton
I won’t be eating my hat!!

If you’re interested in any of my courses please follow the link:
: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
Information on all my audio CD / MP3 treatments is available on the same link and on my web site .
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

HUMMING TRUMPETS?

December 12th, 2012

Hi Everyone

I am going to discuss with you ‘the walls of Jericho’ – as a truly valuable metaphor, so please forgive me if you are an archeologist or biblical scholar.
So briefly, historically, the Hebrew people were making their way to their home land, and Jericho the walled city presented a huge obstacle. The ‘walls’ of doubt, despair and fear had to go!
As a metaphor the ‘walls of Jericho’ are our doubts, despairs and fears that are preventing us from coming ‘home’ and being ‘at home’ with our self. Preventing us from being happy, safe, in harmonious relationship with our self, secure in ‘our own skin’
‘Home’ with our self where we were intended to be.
Carl Jung’s work called this state; Individuation.

I’m paraphrasing a Jungian here as an overview of Individuation:
‘Besides achieving physical and mental health, people who have advanced towards individuation, become harmonious, mature, responsible, they promote freedom and justice …….’
I like this one that I’m about to tell you.
A couple of years ago a client mentioned Individuation, he was frowning and looked very puzzled, then suddenly a ‘light bulb’ went on, he said to me:
“Oh, that means my Intended Being.”
My hair and skin stood happily ‘on end’ at the awesome beauty and clarity of these words. Being who we are Intended to be, is to be ‘be at Home’ free to be in harmony with ourself.
So the people were journeying home to the Promised Land, their psychological ‘Home’ and the walls of doubts, despair and fears were stopping them.
For ‘seven days and seven nights’ they walked round and round the walls, searching for the solution and resolution.
For some of my clients ‘seven days and seven nights’ has felt like a life time.
‘Who would have though it’ – they blew a trumpet and the walls fell down!
And that’s certainly thinking differently!
That is a top Ingredient of all my Work, to assist thinking really differently.
Absolutely everyone who has Worked with me 1:1 or with my audio courses, tells me, ‘I never would have thought of it like that before…’
That’s it you see, as we think the same old same old ways, even the ways of ‘eye of a newt and powdered chicken bones’! We get the same old same old results.
Maybe I’m ‘mixing my metaphors’!!! But Stephen Richards blew a Trumpet for me!
Stephen is no ‘light weight’ he is seriously successful. He is also exceedingly generous; I’ve called him a Knight Shining Light. You can find Stephen on www.cosmicordering.net

My walls around ‘Jericho’ were not of doubts, fear or despair! But were a row of my ‘soap boxes’ of frustration from which I call out: “We can cure psychological emotional and psychosomatic suffering, and keep the cure – and come ‘home’ to be our self….’
.
Enjoy! Any comments you may have to improve will be gratefully received by us.
Many Thanks
Warmly……
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com
 Please feel free to Forward to a friend
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ODE TO ‘AND’

December 6th, 2012

A Winning Submission
Hi Everyone
A different letter from me today. No hard thinking involved! A beautiful, romantic, wondering ‘Ode to And’ from Susie – thank you Susie:

SUSIE’s ‘ODE TO AND’.
We stayed up all night and talked and talked and then as the dawn began to break and the birds began to sing we decided to take a walk along the riverside where mama duck was leading her ducklings.
It was such a beautiful morning and the sunlight was dappling through the trees like a beacon and it was sooooo cold, but, because like a bat out of hell came the most horrendous storm with winds blowing and gales so forceful that we decided to head back indoors………………..……………………… However, if we had stayed outside ………… we could have watched a young family of ducklings swim frantically along the fast river following mama duck. ….We could have seen in the hedgerow a spider weaving its web and making the most intricate and delicate of patterns after which we could have snuggled together and kept warm and toasty as we sat on a nearby river seat and felt the snow flurries start to flutter gently down from the sky and have been quite happy just being together not saying a word feeling those snow flurries touching the skin softly on our faces and as we turned and smiled at each other and looked into one another’s eyes the palpable tension,.. tender and gently we could have tentatively stroked each others skin and then our hands could have become entwined for eternity and eventually our lips could tenderly meet skin upon skin lip upon lip tongue upon tongue and we could have melted like the snow flurries around us and then the words I had been waiting to hear: ‘will you spend the rest of your life with me”?
Can one imagine if one had used the word but in that first sentence then most probably the lovers would have run inside to take shelter to keep dry and warm .
Thankfully ‘but’ was not used instead ‘and’ continued on our ‘wee’ journey/walk to the end which turned out to be magical.”

Thank you again Susie. The power of ‘and’ hey?
Susie’s Ode is a ‘sliding doors’ story.
The ‘but’ its cold took this couple onto an entirely different path; ….we must go indoors, where we miss those magic moments Susie painted for us.
The path of: Its cold – ‘and’ we can snuggle up for our warmth goes somewhere entirely different!
It is so worth us stopping to think about our own ‘ands’ and ‘buts’.
I’ve had such a ‘sliding doors’ experience.
I was packing one evening, December 1992, to fly to Cape Town to meet Mike for a few weeks adventure in the African Bush.
(Not everyone’s Dream I know – it certainly was mine).
That evening, as I packed my case, I felt really anxious as I thought “I so want to be with Mike BUT I’m being irresponsible, leaving my clients …..”
That BUT in my thinking caused me to pick up the phone, honest truth, and dial Mike in Cape Town. I was on the last digit of his number, about to cancel meeting up with him when I thought; “Hang on….. I so want to be with Mike, go on this adventure – AND – I can check out what I’m feeling about being irresponsible…”
There was an unconscious belief in me driving that BUT! I’ve told this story before, and, maybe it’s worth telling again when I write to you.
Mike said if I’d made the call to cancel meeting him, he’d probably have filled the time with a girl who was saucily chasing him and have been ‘lost’ to me.
Mike & I had only known each other a few weeks at that time. Sliding doors! I have had exactly 20 years of adventure! And, more adventures to come! My gratitude to ‘and’ I could say is immeasurable………..
My wish for you is that you will stop a moment and check out your own ‘ands’ and ‘buts’ – for your self.

So for her Ode Susie won the CD / MP3 course of her choice.
If you’re interested I have an offer on my course; Don’t Wait to Lose Weight, £10.00 off.
The code you need and link to purchase it online at the discount price is available from here~: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

 

GOOD VIBRATIONS!

December 5th, 2012

 

Sally Stubbs

Hi Everyone
Sorry I’ve ‘been off the radar’ for a couple of weeks. It’s been ‘full on’ here!
I have been thinking so much about my conversations with my friend, the Little Girl, the one who is excited about learning sums. In case you did not get those two letters from me, she’s the amazing Little Girl who says: ‘There’s an eagle that can ‘see’ everybody’s unique ‘Me’ ‘. She explained this by saying:’…. if I dropped an eyelash in a shop, and some other people also dropped an eyelash in a shop, the eagle can ‘see’ this eyelash belongs to this person and that eyelash belongs to that person…’ And I reckoned she was talking about ‘seeing’ DNA!
So, are you up for getting serious!
Let’s consider this:
Every part of your body vibrates to its own rhythm. Your brain has a unique set of brain waves. In neuroscience, there are five distinct brain wave frequencies, namely Beta, Alpha, Theta, Delta and the lesser known Gamma.
Each frequency, measured in cycles per second (Hz), has its own set of characteristics representing a specific level of brain activity and hence a unique state of consciousness.
Theta (4-7.5Hz): Theta brain waves are present during deep meditation and light sleep, including the REM dream state. Theta is the realm of your unconscious mind. A sense of deep spiritual connection and oneness with the Universe can be experienced at Theta. Your mind’s most deep-seated programs are all in Theta.
Delta (0.5-4Hz): The Delta frequency is the slowest and is present in deep, dreamless sleep and in very deep meditation where awareness is completely detached. Delta is the realm of your deep unconscious mind. It is the gateway to the Universal mind and the collective unconscious whereby information received is otherwise unavailable at the conscious level.
Beta (12-30Hz): Beta brain waves are associated with normal waking consciousness and a heightened state of alertness, logic and critical reasoning. As you go about your daily activities you are at Beta. Although important for effectively functioning in everyday life, higher Beta levels translate into stress, anxiety and restlessness. With the majority of adults primarily operating at Beta during their waking hours it is little wonder that stress is today’s most common health problem. The voice of Beta is the little nagging chatterbox of your inner critic, which becomes louder and more relentless the higher you go in the range.
Now, here’s the point: Young children’s brains, up until around the age of 7, are functioning in Theta and Delta. Their brain’s and therefore their unconscious mind has very little in the way of logical filters.
So, into a young child’s unconscious mind goes, mostly unfiltered, the beliefs of the important adults in their life.
Many of those beliefs, from mostly well meaning adults, are not constructive, are not validating, are not fully celebrating of a young child’s life!
Look, I really want you to feel comfortable with what I’m saying so we can take all this seriously! I’m a parent! Before I got into all this kind of work that I now do, I was a young Mum – imposing my unconscious beliefs on my ‘wide open’ kids.
I’ve been busy helping my kids undo some of their non constructive belief systems…….
This is what I really want to say, I was ‘blown away’ a few years ago when I started reading some of the massive research of a Russian neuroscience programme on how our DNA reacts positively and negatively to sound. I think this is major……
So, when our voices speak to our kids and say non constructive stuff – what if, like the Little Girl’s eagle, we could see how our kids DNA are reacting! Imagine that! Wouldn’t every adult shut up with the destructive stuff!
I read this profile on Twitter yesterday, the guy said:
I’m into weapons of mass construction! I sent him a congratulations tweet!
The next thing I’m pursuing is: Do our thoughts have sounds?
Fancy joining me in finding out? Because if our thoughts do have sounds – we’ll all be working pretty quickly to changing a lot of our thoughts – and assisting our own DNA, as well as our kids, to be constructive…….
Please email me your thoughts  sally@sally-stubbs.com  – my private email address.
Oh and another web site for you to have a look at: http://hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk/

Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

GREAT UNCLE BULGARIA:

November 29th, 2012

Great Uncle Bulgaria

Hypnotherapy Cures that Endure

My Special Uncle, we as kids, OK, I admit it, and as adults still call him Great Uncle Bulgaria.

Like the Top Womble Leader he was up for the Times Crossword, that’s about the only likeness really, oh that and his rotund belly, as our Great Uncle Bulgaria was and is all human-traited. (Cool new word hey!)
When our Great Uncle Bulgaria was a single young man, at around mid-day on Saturdays, we’d go round to his house leap onto his snoring body, where it was all tangled up in blankets, thinking it hilarious to chuck all manner of things on top of him, from cold wet flannels, to, necessary deodorant, to anything we thought highly funny really.
Blimey, he’d chase us all around the house, bellowing in some strange beery fumed wide spread horrible voice that he would bl***y ‘kill us’. Of course he would, any young bloke with a hangover would, being tortured like that!
Oddly enough it never ended in tears!!!
So, my Special Uncle has cancer which has metastasised, gone to a secondary site, in his body. Serious…. And of course I am really, really sad.
But, I think, maybe I could have stopped this horrific illness happening.
I’ve been wondering if you’ve been wondering; “What on earth is Sally talking about?”
First I just want to say that I really do understand the suffering, I was beside my Mum, and with my Mum, ten years ago. Her death was so, so painful for her, her death certificate said: Liver Cancer.
I know grief…….
I tried to help her to get well. I thought at the time that she & I were too close. In fact, ten years ago, I did not know enough.
That is why every single day I learn and I learn.
We have Giants amongst us, upon whose shoulders we can stand, and thanks to them, we can see further…….. And everyone who I work with, 1:1 or with my audio Work, are also the Giants from whom I learn and learn.
You see, how our psyche, our unconscious mind affects our soma, our body, has been a focus for me since I was age 18, when I had an Epiphanic Moment, (a phrase from our dear David Grove, which mostly I’ve heard referred to as ‘Light bulb moment’ – But, I happen to love David’s words, and maybe others have coined the phrase too…)
So, here is my point: All illness has a psychological ‘drive’ within it. By bringing healing and resolution to the problem within our unconscious mind, we are bringing vast healing for our bodies suffering.
I believe as a human community the more we become Conscious the less our bodies will need the medications.
Do we want to go this way? I certainly do!
This is no ‘arm chair theory’ from me. If you are interested try Professor Kathryn Rossi and Dr Ernest Rossi, Professor Lipton, Dr Sarno, Dr J Harper, Burt Goldman – for starters. We have a whole host of Giant’s offering us their shoulders to stand on………
As for my Great Uncle Bulgaria, a Manchester lad, who became very successful in his medical career, and very posh, he had Dyspnoea.
About 7 years ago, I went to see him and my Auntie in their very grand and lovely new house. They proudly showed me around, and in my Uncles bedroom was a load of kit to help him to keep breathing through the night.
He said; “I sometimes stop breathing through the night (Dyspnoea) – I bet you can’t help with that, can you?” (The challenging ole bu***r!!)
I said I probably could! We sat in his beautiful garden with a glass of (fine) wine, we talked and I explained.
His life time of compounded arguments about my Work soon melted like snowballs on a fire!
You see I had noticed as he talked about his breathing a “T Minus One”, a time in his life when he got ‘stuck’, an emotionally frightening time, when he was unconsciously stopping his breathing…….. holding his breath.
He said: “I might come and see you…”
I said: “I will wait to hear from you….”
He never did………………………….
Let us together Work towards, perhaps first of all, putting an end to psychological and emotional suffering.

Thank you for joining me….. Thank you for caring. 

Why not visit my wonderful new site www.hypnosisdownloadcd.co.uk

Great Uncle Bulgaria

Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

CHICKEN OR EGG: WHICH CAME FIRST?

November 19th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

What’s on my mind? I’ve given this a lot of thought the past few days, so I’m just going to say it, and I’d love to hear your thoughts and responses.
I read this Tweet from National Alliance on Mental Illness of Massachusetts:
“Mental Illnesses are brain disorders, legitimate medical illnesses, just like heart disease & diabetes.”
Reading lots of their Tweets, clearly NAMIM are really working hard.
I did reply to this Tweet saying: This could be an ‘egg – chicken’ situation, and would they be interested in Dr John Sarno’s life time research?
In that the ‘egg’ is the emotional suffering coming first, which then causes the brain to respond, particularly with altered serotonin chemistry which is not a disorder; it is an emotionally induced chemical reaction, resulting in the symptom.
My experience for 30 years has been that as we Resolve and Cure the emotional suffering and pain, the brain does realign itself.
Dr John Sarno has a distinguished career as a ground breaking medical pioneer, going beyond pain, both physical and emotional, to address the entire spectrum of mind and mind-body suffering.
The interaction between the generally reasonable, rational, ethical conscious mind and the ‘stuck’ feelings of emotional suffering, pain, sadness, shame, anger of the unconscious are the basis for mind and many mind-body (psycho-somatic) problems.
‘We can study the anatomy and physiology and chemistry of the brain forever and a day, but it will teach us nothing about mind and mind-body problems, nor will it teach us about emotional pain and suffering’ states Dr John Sarno.
Dr Sarno goes on to say that: ‘This is because the deviations from the normal, in the brain, that are featured in studies, are not the cause of the problems but rather are the result of the emotional suffering that stimulated the deviation in the first place. It is emotions that drive the chemistry in the brain, not the other way round.’
So, we have been asking you: What is your goal, what is your dream? What is something that I can help you to do to get your successful results?
Lots of people say to me: “I don’t know which one of your audio courses/treatments to do? I don’t know if need more self esteem to have a good relationship…… or to stop having nervousness in my stomach to then be able to have real choice of how and what and when I eat nice food to be the right weight……or to sleep well so as to stop feeling so angry…….and so on…….. (basically what’s the ‘egg’ problem)”
You can see the audio treatments I have produced here – Rapha Hypnosis – Cures that Endure
Well, bottom line is this, which I understand was first said by Immanuel Kant the great respected mathematician and philosopher: ‘The symptom is the Solution, it is searching for the problem.’
(The symptom is the ‘chicken’ it is searching for the ‘egg’ problem)

Here’s a really Top Strategy for you, a gift from me to you, and it will take only seconds of thought from you.
As you’re about to drop off to sleep at night, ask silently and congruently of your wise unconscious:
“I want my unconscious to give me a focused and comfortable dream to let me know what my ‘egg’ problem is.”
(I can promise you, even if your problem is a disturbed sleep pattern, you will be dreaming during the night)
Have a note book by your bed. Take notes, no matter how ‘crazy’ your dream may seem. Soon you’ll get the real sense of it.
It may take a few nights for you to ‘get it’ as we are no longer a culture that is involved with dream work.

sally@sally-stubbs.com is my private email address. Anything at all you say to me will be totally confidential.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
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TRUST YOUR UNCONSCIOUS:

November 5th, 2012

Great Feedback from Ms Louise-Weasel

Hello
And a very good day to you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to ‘listen’ to me.

I’m still ‘mind blown’ by my last letter to you! The one I named ‘From the Mouths of Children’.
I’ve had loads of interesting 1:1 feedback, emails and a really supportive email from Canada! I find all that so exciting, and thank you ‘Canada’.
I am really thrilled that Louise-Weasel (her choice of name) is happy for me to share her wonderful thoughts with you in this email. Thank you Ms Weasel:
What an intriguing and amazing little girl I would love to have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation. How does she know these things? Is she an old soul in a young body? A wise old ME that has learnt through pain and therefore able to express herself with such clarity or an unblemished ME that hasn’t been hurt or excessively challenged and can therefore speak naively of such wondrous things?? I LOVE the rock analogy, I have always thought of my ME in terms of spots within my body not something that exists through my entire body but I now think that of course MEs exist throughout us with hot spots or troubling spots more obvious in certain places. Maybe our MEs are our life energy? Different layers and shapes and density of ME reflecting our well being in the environment within which we exist. Our bodies are the vehicles which transport our MEs. Finger prints are mostly static whereas MEs are able to change like a sort of energy depending on the circumstances. Anyways I feel rather shy about sharing my ramblings with you whom I view as THE ‘ORACLE’ on all such matters!
I’ll quickly respond to one of Ms Weasels points and say that this little girl has been seriously; seriously challenged in her life – and – her ‘me’ has remained totally unblemished.
Erickson’s: “Trust your unconscious, it’s a delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.”
 Whilst making coffee the other day Mike said: …. “It’s like this, go to the mug cupboard, get the coffee beans, grind the beans, walk to the fridge, get the milk, pour it……… sit down…… And all the time not one conscious thought is given to coffee making and the complexity of walking, use of muscles…. All the time I’m making coffee I’m having a conversation with you… The whole coffee making thing happens all by itself – unconsciously”.
Let’s really think about it! We can trust our unconscious!
So how does this work, the ‘trust our unconscious’ when we have a problem?
The problem must surely be being driven by our unconscious right? It’s an easy equation – we do not consciously want this problem therefore our problem must be being ‘driven’ from the unconscious!
This is exactly right. Which leads most of to believe our bl**dy unconscious is a ‘monster’. Incorrect belief!
Ok – let’s consider the semantics – instead of naming our problem a problem – lets name it – a symptom. (Whatever it may be – example: nervousness, lack of confidence, difficult relationship with food and all that these examples deeply contain for us such as concealed anger, feelings of shame or guilt, fears……….)
The symptom is being flagged up that ‘contained’ within the unconscious a problem – which our trusty unconscious wants us to resolve.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’.
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’.
The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct and resolve this problem, not the Therapist!
This problem originates as an imposed Restrainer – imposed upon this young person from well meaning adults. Added to this problem state is also a Protector Restrainer – ensuring this person will never speak up by producing a nervous panicky experience – as long as this person remains quiet – they will be safe from big trouble!
The trusty unconscious is also driving this nervous and panicky because in the un -differentiated information of the imposed Restrainer and the protector Restrainer is the unconscious drive to find the hiding or ‘lost’ ‘me’ – or part of ‘me’.
So, I’m wondering if: You will find time to make your own Restrainer lists and your drawings – which will assist you to Work with your trusty unconscious and find a hiding or ‘lost’ part of your ‘me’.
Have a listen to this 80’s classic on You Tube?
It starts: “Mirror in the bathroom please don’t freak the door is locked just you and me”….
TOP TIP
• Lock your bathroom door – and say something really nice to your ‘me’!
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
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From The Mouths of Children?

October 29th, 2012

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The Wisdom of Children

Recently I had the great good fortune to spend an hour or so talking with a little girl.She told me that she is learning sums – and she looked really happy and excited.
She said that everyone has a ‘me’ and everyone’s ‘me’ is different and also everyone’s ‘me’ goes all the way thru’ them like the writing on a sweetie called a stick of rock. Except, for everyone’s ‘me’ the writing (or the sum) is completely different.
She laughed gleefully her arms went up in the air as she said: ‘If there were two other Sally’s in the room, my Sally’s ‘me’ and the other two Sally’s ‘me’s would be totally different!
Yikes, how old is she? A thousand years old! I didn’t ask her age I felt it would be rude!
She said, with great authority, that she understood there might a certain eagle that can actually see this. Like if there were two robin’s feathers, or any number of robin’s feathers, the eagle would instantly see and know that feather belonged to Richard Robin – and that feather belonged to Robert Robin and so on, and the same for sparrows feathers – the same for most anything alive.
She even said, lets say I lost an eyelash – the eagle would see instantly see that the eye lash belonged only to me.
I loved, loved my time with her – the purity of it all………..
This wonderful little girl is talking not only about the sums of our DNA – she is also talking about our Unconscious mind – and specifically our ‘me’.
We know of substances such as radiation, chemicals in drinks, pesticides and many more common substances have been found to damage our DNA.
Also, (you might want to ‘strap in’ for the next bit!,) after two decades of studies, HeartMath researchers say that other factors such as the appreciation and love we have for someone, or, the fear, anger and anxieties that we feel also influence and can alter the outcome of each individuals DNA blueprint.
HeartMath researchers have gone so far as to show that physical aspects of DNA strands can be influenced by human intentions – emotions.
So, here are my thoughts about what this wonderful little girl was really saying (it makes sense to me!):
Pretty much everyone, at some time, lost ‘touch’ with our ‘me’. Our ‘me’ got frightened, fearful, anxious, bewildered, angry, got hurt – our ‘me’ felt an ‘ouch’ – and part of our ‘me’ felt ‘frayed’ no longer totally whole and pristine, our ‘me’ went into some kind of ‘hiding’ because our ‘me’ could not resolve the ‘ouch’
And when this happens a number of times for our ‘me’ or our ‘me’ experiences a really significant ‘ouch’ – the writing that goes all the way thru’ the stick of sweetie rock – becomes blurred………..
Which, when the ‘blurring of the writing occurs’ I think might mean our wondrous strands of DNA can be influenced in a way to be ‘off balance’
If so, we need to restore our ‘me’ – to a pristine state …….. a whole state … like restoring the writing clearly through the stick of sweetie rock.
And I will just continue to be better at being a Revolutionary!
Please, please email me your thoughts, together we can have a hugely significant discussion.

Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com
personal email: sally@sally-stubbs.com

The Hypnotist & The Hypnotherapist

October 24th, 2012

So the question which I’ve been asked an uncountable number of times: “(What if) I can’t be hypnotised by a hypnotherapist?”
A hypnotherapist does not take the authority and control by hypnotising a person.
A hypnotist does that! This will have no therapeutic value whatsoever! Though it is considered entertaining!
Cassie, cured of hay fever through her hypnotherapy Work with me, in one of our video clips says so charmingly:
‘…. I thought is was like you see people on telly walking round making chicken noises and all these weird crazy things…. All the time that I was Working with Sally I felt fully in control……..’
Back in the mid 19th century Doctor James Braid became massively interested in what appeared to be an ‘off conscious’ state. He called the state hypnosis – later he tried to rename it psychophysiology. Hypnosis had stuck.
We all of us naturally go in and out of trance or hypnotic states many times a day, all by our selves. It will often feel like day dreaming, the: ‘…I was miles away……’ And when we feel ‘miles away’ we are, as Cassie says, in control.
Claire, on the same video clip as Cassie, also came to Work with me and cured her hay fever, describes ‘trance’ state with me as a: ‘….deep state of concentration….’
Therapeutic trance is experienced differently by everyone; therefore ‘deep concentration’ will not be common to everyone. Being in control will be common to everyone.
The ability to go into a therapeutic trance is common to everyone too.
In Therapeutic Trance we are giving the unconscious problem state the exact right attention that it needs is a totally safe way.
You can see more of my ex-clients whos agreed to film their thoughts on my You Tube Channel.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’

Milton H Erickson

The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct this problem, not the Therapist!
Milton H. Erickson, was described as “one of the most influential psychotherapists of all time” in a survey by The Psychotherapy Networker (March 2006).
In psychotherapy Milton H. Erickson is ranked among the Top Ten along with Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and others.
Milton H. Erickson says it beautifully………
“He [Erickson] discovered that most of the “rules” of life prescribing human limitations were arbitrary beliefs, not facts. His study and mastery of hypnosis taught him that altered mental states and trance were very much a part of everyday functioning.
“This understanding,” wrote Ernest Rossi, “formed the underlying principles of his later studies of psychopathology as well as his development of the naturalistic and utilization approaches to therapeutic hypnosis.” Such insights were fundamental to Erickson’s approach, but he sought no definite theory to pass on as a legacy.
“Erickson has no set method,” Haley noted. “If one procedure doesn’t work, he tries others until one does. That’s what he emphasized to his students, advising a stance of heightened receptivity uncontaminated by formulaic preconceptions.”
Erickson put it this way: “I don’t attempt to structure my psychotherapy except in a vague, general way. And in that vague general way, the patient structures it… in accordance with his own needs… The first consideration in dealing with patients is to realize that each of them is an individual… So in dealing with people, you try not to fit them into your concept of what they should be… You should try to discover what their concept of themselves happens to be… It isn’t the amount of time. It isn’t the theory of therapy. It’s how you reach the personality by saying the right thing at the right time.”
Further words of wisdom from Erickson: “Trust your unconscious. It’s a very delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.” And: “Don’t try to use somebody else’s technique… Just discover your own.”
Section in italics is an excerpt from the book: The New Neuroscience of Psychotherapy, Therapeutic Hypnosis & Rehabilitation: A Creative Dialogue with Our Genes
By Ernest Lawrence Rossi Ph.D & Kathryn Lane Rossi Ph.D.

Let’s talk next time about Erickson’s words: ‘Trust your unconscious…..’
And I so hope that Erickson – and the Dr’s Rossi have inspired you……
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.sally-stubbs.com
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A JOURNEY FROM A TO C?

October 22nd, 2012

 

David Grove

The First Ode to And

So, Tom the Invincible responded to our last letter “Ode to And” – with:

“To follow this up, worth pointing out in future newsletters, that to avoid making an inadvertent inflammatory statement that a full stop works well also (rather than but) as in:
John, you are a great dentist. I wonder if…… as opposed to John you are a great dentist, but…. (no you’re not)
Also how and what works well too, as in:
blah blah, how do you think we could……, or
blah blah, what might be some ways we could……”
Nice one, thank you, Tom the Invincible.
Tom the Invincible and The Grover (David Grove) would ‘walk hand in hand’ (as do I!) in their exquisite mastery of elegant, clean, respectful communications skills.
How and What are two of David’s major Clean Language questions.
Recently I received an e mail with a question I’ve been asked loads of times, which is: “What if I can’t be hypnotised?” (Full stop here!!)
I’ll talk with you about this question soon, because I’m ‘on a roll’ now, buzzing with thoughts about Tom the Invincible’s point about ‘how’ and ‘what’.
Clean Language creates a successful environment for you to achieve triumphant change. Not quick fixes that deconstruct come next month! Everlasting solid and triumphant change.
Here is an overview of the process of change.
You are in a space with a problem state. The problem is in the space where you are. In a second space there is your Goal, what ever your goal may be, and we all of us have a goal or goals, which are in another space from where you are.
In between your problem space and your goal space, is another space – for you to journey into.
OK – to make clearer sense of this, simply take a piece of paper and write down your goal – and I am today talking about a recognised psychological or emotional goal rather than the:
I want a date with my super hero!!
I want to own an Aston Martin!!
(Though these types of goals are in a true essence driven by our psychology and our emotions!)
To help you to write your goal, answer the question:
“And – what do I want to have happen?” (This non ordinary question invites a non ordinary response)
When you have written your answer on your paper you are in a space that we will call A – your goal in a space that we will call B and there is a space between you and your goal we will call C. In the C space is your journey to your discovery of solutions and resolutions to your problem in the A space.
The C space will have loads of What and How questions filling it.
Here is a simple example, and if you’d like more in depth examples just ask me.
Q: And what do I want to have happen?
A: I want to be slim and regain my figure and my health.
Q: And – what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can be slim and regain my figure and my health?
A: I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it
Q: And when I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it – how can I have the confidence……
A: I really need to stop putting myself down
Q: And what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can stop putting myself down……
I promise you it will so valuable for you to journey into your C space with your own what and how questions.

.
Thanks again to Tom the Invincible…….
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com
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AN ODE TO “AND”

October 17th, 2012

 

Sally Stubbs

In a minute we’re going to discuss ‘and’ – with some seriousness – and we’ll have a bit of fun as well! A client recently had this fabulous metaphor for her protector Restrainer. She said it was like she could see herself as an Olympic athlete (emotionally and psychologically that is!) She’s on the starting blocks she’s raring to go!
And her protector Restrainer is like massive bungee cords attached to her back.
Holding her back.
Keeping her safe.
She was thrilled with her metaphor, which may sound strange to you.
What she felt was an immeasurable amount of energy there to be released. And, here’s a great thing, she saw that instead of, once she’s released, there just being a way forward along the prescribed track, there’s an entire stadium and territory beyond the stadium to explore!!
She and I together are in the exciting process of negotiating with the bungee cords – for her imminent release…….
This is her unique epistemological metaphor for her protector Restrainer – your metaphor and your drawing or drawings will be entirely unique to you.

“Ode to And” – is a phrase coined beautifully by Cei Davies, who was the late great David Groves wife and professional partner. Cei worked continuously at David’s side developing Clean Language, Epistemological Metaphor and oh so much more.
Cei says of And: “…….and is an adjunctive for two or more incompatible elements. “……I love him – and – he did that to me…..” ‘And’, allows both experiences to co-exist.”
Let’s consider the serious value of, in day to day communications with others and with our self, replacing some of our ‘but’ words with ‘and’.
‘But’ tends to end something rather than add something!
‘But’ tends to negate something rather than leave another avenue to explore.
“You did a good job – but – you can do better…..”
How does this feel to you?
How about this?
“You did a good job – and – you can also do an even better job……”
“I want to go for a walk – but – its cold rainy weather…….”
“I want to go for a walk – and – its cold rainy weather – and – I can get my water proofs on – and – an umbrella – and – a flask with a hot drink…….”
Worth our consideration – the ‘but’ in our life being replaced, some times, with ‘and’.
Bread – but – no jam
Bread – and – jam!
Cake – but – don’t eat it
Cake – and – eat it!
In relationship with our self – (which by the way is the most important relationship because to gain or regain harmony with our self frees us to have harmony fully in relationship with another) – the ‘and’ word is empowering.
We say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – but – I make mistakes……” Intelligent and mistakes are not co-existing because of the ‘but’ – so we feel our life is about our mistakes!
What happens when we say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – and – I make mistakes…..” We now have the potential to explore both worlds of intelligent and of mistakes.
So here’s a bit of fun for us, let me have your story or Ode – to ‘And’ by the 5th November on my private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com
For the best story or Ode to ‘And’ there will be a gift of any one of my 40 Day Courses, on 5 CD’s.
I really look forward to your stories or Ode to ‘And’.
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

CONSTANT CRITICISM?

October 10th, 2012

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Getting to Know More Abour Your Restrainer

Now here’s a case in point, if you want to create a disturbed person –

then: Consistently criticise them!
And consistently do not give them good (outstanding) emotional support.
It isn’t ‘rocket science’! It is however now validated by our amazing Neuroscience!
Does the above sound similar to what your Restrainer has being up to – maybe for years!
Hitting you with negative criticism, withdrawing emotional support of you?
In which case in point….
You may have thought that I was partially bonkers to suggest that you ‘get to know’ your Restrainer!
I’m not bonkers! Well…………….only sometimes!! Ask Mike!!
I  totally urge you to get on and get to know your Restrainer!

Make peace together.

Does this still seem and feel counter intuitive to you?
Anyway, let’s stopping messing around, let’s stop procrastinating!
.
Do please get your note book – spend a few minutes each day with your Restrainer, ‘listen’ to it. It may sound to you that your Restrainer is putting you down, or even urging you to an action that you know is illogical or exhausting. You may also feel it in you body, maybe your chest or your throat…..

Here are extra ‘Golden Bullets’ to urge you on!
• Get to know your Restrainer (All of my courses on CD or MP3 will assist you to do this)
• Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
• State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
• As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it, either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed….. ‘But’ if I do this, they will be hurt – then I’m left with guilt – so – better not to do this…..)
And the four new Golden Bullets:
1. Differentiate the Restrainer ‘voice’ which is yours as it were, that is a ‘voice’ you know belongs to you and is therefore a protector – from the ‘something’ which it believed ‘unsafe’ You’re differentiating the ‘voice’ of your protector Restrainer from the ‘voices’ of, usually well meaning, adults in your earlier life. Check these beliefs that came into your psychology – and do not belong to you. (These voices will often have the You can’t – You should – You shouldn’t……)
2. Make two different lists one of your protector Restrainer and one of the, albeit well meaning, beliefs of others.
3. If the voices of others do not celebrate or validate your life make a firm decision to delete them.
4. I’ll eat my hat for you if you do not find this a most valuable thing to do! And you’re most welcome to email me any questions privately.

*
• Simply say to your protector Restrainer (from your list): ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
• Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
• Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have a part appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being what you really wanted to be to protect you from the, well meant, wrath of your family who insisted you became an accountant!) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
• Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please visit me – and us at www.sally-stubbs.com there’s lots of ‘gold’ for you……
……………….Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
http://sally-stubbs.com
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My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

GROW YOUR OWN HAIR!

October 4th, 2012

Luscious Hair Blowing in the Wind

Hello

Please follow the link to read my article in Positive Health Online: I would be most pleased and delighted.

Thinking of you warmly    Sally

http://www.positivehealth.com/article/hypnosis/psychosomatic-disorders-and-hypnotherapy

RED SQUIRREL CAFE:

October 1st, 2012

Cumbrian Red Squirrel

Proof of the Red Squirrel Cafe!

I’m taking a ‘holiday’ today – an R&R from my relentless rants! ‘That’s a relief!!’ you might be saying……. Champagnes on ice!
So, Mike did the video for you – Red Squirrel at breakfast in the Grecko Roman (with a hint of engine shed) style cafe.
The first one looks like an old fella – he could be wearing a granddad cardie!
Then there are a few moments of a younger one.
Mohican did not pitch up for this shoot. Burrowing his nuts away perhaps?
Mike will catch him on film another time.
Catch it here– sit back and smile hugely. Enjoy!
Then maybe check out a few of the other videos on my You Tube Channel?
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
 www.sally-stubbs.com
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YOU ARE SPECIAL! REALLY YOU ARE!!

September 26th, 2012

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SALLY STUBBS

MORE GOLDEN BULLETS ABOUND:-

You have a story and it is your story that makes you special.
You have humanity.
You are not just a ‘pretty face’! You actually are a ‘beautiful face’ – You are the face of kindness and caring for others – the children – the animals – the elderly and fragile – the planet. The corruption – the lies…
And inside of you, in your inner worlds, you have fear and ‘pain’. Yet you are, despite the fear and ‘pain,’ caring and kind.
I know that you have suffered – somehow – somewhere in your childhood, in adult years – bewilderment or fear or ‘pain’ which brought uncertainties and doubts into your Pristine inner world.
This is your story and this is what makes you special. And probably what also gave you the immeasurable depths and heights of your true humanity.
Quick rant to get off my chest – (you might be pleased to know!) Though it is a Huge Rant in my Heart!
I cannot stand this ‘pop’ psychology of: ‘You must gain control over and get rid of your inner critic!’
Absolute Bull***t! The psychological ‘construct’ which has oh so totally unwisely been named the ‘Critic’ – to be dismissed, shunned and got rid of is, was originally, a Protector!
This is huge for our – your – consideration.
I am going to call the inner Protector – the inner Restrainer – as it will probably make more sense!
The inner Restrainer is the ‘voice’ and or accompanying feeling in the body which ‘says’:
• I can’t!
• I mustn’t!
• I shouldn’t!
• I’ll fail………..
• ‘They’ll’ be angry if I do!
• I am not good enough!
• So, I won’t ‘go there’………
And we listen to the ‘voice’ of the Restrainer and we stay ‘stuck’ and the Restrainer is relieved (til next time!). The Restrainer is relieved because it was attempting to keep us safe. Because in situations in our younger life or our adult life for us to ‘go ahead’ could well have been dangerous.
Look – simplistically it goes a like this: ‘Eat up all your food!’ If we say what we want and need which is: ‘NO’ we can never be successful! We’ll be in someone’s ‘bad books’ and ‘bad books’ are dangerous in a child’s world!
The Restrainer holds us back from saying the dangerous ‘NO!’ and we eat loads of food that we don’t need or want!
Or – they implied, when we were younger, with a ‘look in their eyes’ ‘If you go off and be an actor instead of an accountant….. you will hurt me!’ And so we become the unhappy accountant, (and our clients don’t understand when we don’t always get it right!)
The Restrainer stops us being an actor because the enormous weight of responsibility of hurting them is unbearable.
We won’t be ‘good enough’ for them.
They will shun us.
Simplistic examples I know.
So here are your ‘Golden Bullets’ which may seem at first counter intuitive!
Get to know your Restrainer
Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed…..)
Simply say to the Restrainer: ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have an appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being an actor) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please do feel free to email me any thoughts or questions privately on this address: sally@sally-stubbs.com
And as for the book which I won’t harp on about again. – The masochist is Restrained and feels the pain in an unsuccessful attempt to regain the control which was taken by their inner Restrainer to paradoxically keep them safe!
The masochist will of course argue with me. I Understand.
Thinking of you warmly.
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

SALLY@SALLY-STUBBS.COM

 

“50 SHADES” – An Epidemic!

September 24th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

“50 Shades of Grey”

So, in this letter title I’ve said it! “50 shades of grey”.
I promise you I’m no ‘kill joy’ as I said in my last letter, amongst consenting adults, that is their choice.
And I understand the odd occasion of the relief to just relinquish the power position and the responsibility in sexual behaviours of the controller and being controlled.
This letter is ongoing from my last one,  in a way that is really worth our consideration, even if half of the 40 million readers of “50 Shades of Grey are reading for fun and Erotica – it still seems to me like there is, as Dr Sarno would say: An epidemic! Of a need to be controlled and be in control played out in behaviours that are deeply unsuccessful at regaining any real control……….
I feel this is a deep and meaningful letter to you – so I’ll keep it short…
My Mum often used to say to me:
‘For goodness sake Sally – you’re not being deep and meaningful again – are you!’
Yikes Mum – what’s that all about! I’m fun loving as well!
I’m just going to briefly mention that I’ve attempted, as best I could over the years, to study George Gurdjieff’s (1872 – 1949): The Fourth Way – ‘He was a seminal spiritual figure, who introduced an ancient, then unknown to the West, esoteric teaching of development and awakening, one that teaches how to creatively use the diverse impressions of ordinary life to come to real life.’
Gurdjieff’s work was not connected to any formal or organised religions.
My point in mentioning Gurdjieff, in this rather unusual deep and meaningful letter to you, is that he insisted on a mutual understanding of words which were being used in any discussions! I think that’s great, maybe sometimes essential! Maybe the usually unspoken obvious?
Anyway, I am about to use the word divine in this discussion!
By this word I simplistically mean the state that is Pristine. A state of no fear and no ‘pain’.
Please bear with me I do know what I’m talking about here – and my hope is that what I say in a massively deep and meaningful way – will resonate with you – or for someone you care about, not in terms of the chronic need to be the controller or be controlled as portrayed in the book.
If you can gently think for a few moments – each day – What is stopping you or stopping someone close to you, achieving a goal to Resolve – finally once and for all a problem state – even the problems that manifest as we’ve mentioned before as the symptoms of a wrong relationship with food, to not sleeping well – to disharmony in relationship – your answers for yourself or for your loved one – will be, in essence: fear or ‘pain’ is stopping me – or my loved one.
All I ask of you, for now is that you acknowledge your own answers to the question: What is stopping me – or my loved one – Resolving a problem state.
And next time – I will get off the talking about that book – and together we’ll explore strategies – ‘Golden Bullets’ for Working with your answer.
I know personally that although we have all experienced tragedy – and loss – and trauma – and bewilderment – I have been there – we can Regain our Pristine State – to be fear free and ‘pain’ free.
This brings me happily back to the word divine.
A client recently named the Pristine state as – divine pleasure………… I’ve tears of relief for her as I write to you.
One day – I will joyously tell you about her Work with me – She and I together have Cured the Incurable.
For her to be in a ‘space’, in a ‘place’ – a state of divine pleasure was deemed to be totally impossible!
So I reckon as a Revolutionary my wish for you is divine pleasure –  or call it pristine state if you prefer…… Or as my client the poet said: Your intended being.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

Sally@sally-stubbs.com     my personal & private email address, do get in touch, I would love to hear your views:

LET’S DEBATE CONTROL!

September 19th, 2012

Hello

I’ve been just a bit cheeky with the title of my letter to you! I mean the title is True – I really invite debate and discussion with you.
I want to debate a book!
“50 Shades of Grey”
I did think to give this letter that title – then I didn’t want to take the risk that you wouldn’t join me in this letter… After all, this book is porn!
I haven’t read it. I have googled it – and hey it’s probably (understatement!) worth our attention as the last I read it’s sold over 40 million copies world wide and rising.
The biggest seller ever overtaking Harry Potter!
So, what is it that is claiming the attention of over 40 million of our fellow humans?
We could say that anything we choose to think, discuss and debate together is merely our opinions. However, I’ll carry on – as you’d expect of me!
This Tweet from Ellie Pyke has been well worth my consideration: (writers) ‘make stories that bring the reader alive’. I agree…..
Then, how is this book achieving that?
Ted Day on a ‘you tube’ video reads from the back of the book: “….. He’s (Christian Grey the main protagonist) consumed by his need to control”.
Honestly I accept that whatever individuals are into – they are into – as long as there is consent. And that it is private between however ,many consenting adults.
However, I believe we can raise a discussion about “50 Shades of Grey” because it has grabbed so much attention. And my attention has been grabbed by – the control aspect……
First in terms of this book/trilogy I want to say that I understand the needs to create an opportunity to relinquish the power position. Power positions do become boring and exhausting! And also the need to relinquish responsibility.
My point about control (in terms of this book): Physical pain is a healthy ‘message’ from our bodies to say ‘I do not like this!’ Nature wants us to run or jump away from an external source of physical pain.
And yet 40 million of us are lapping this up!
Here is my outrageous question:
Why are the masochists amongst us treating their body as though it were an enemy?
Encarta Dictionary: Masochism – the psychological disorder in which somebody needs to be emotionally or physically abused in order to be (sexually) satisfied.
Let us consider the locus of our own inner control and lack of it.
As kids we had very little control, mostly claimed by necessity, from the adults around us who had to have control to create safe physical boundaries for us.
Often our emotional, psychological and ‘spirit of our self’ – control was taken from us.
With all respect to the mostly well meaning adults in our younger lives…….. love got undifferentiated from pain.
I’ll make anther outrageous statement here: masochists are searching, (unsuccessfully) for real love through the ‘pain’ of lack of control which they experienced in their early years…..
Your debate is gratefully received by me.
And,  you may well be asking, what has all this got to do with me?
Well, we too are searching to resolve our problems of: over weight, fear, anxieties, no self esteem, lack of good sleep, our anger and our sadnesses…………… and our solutions and answers are in us ‘listening’ to and responding correctly and respectfully to our younger self – who ‘lost’ their sense of their pristine self when the emotional psychological and ‘spirit of the self’ – when control was taken away.
As adult we all are mostly loyal to the grown ups who brought us up. We have the logic to say: ‘They did their best…’ And probably those grown ups did do their best.
This logic does not apply to how we thought and felt as a child.
I urge you to consider connecting with the pristine child part of your being – by having a look at my Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence course. It does not take you through any painful or stinky stuff from your younger life – it does one major outstanding thing for you – it takes you back to, and empowers your pristine self……
As one of my clients, who is a poet, calls the Pristine Self – “My Intended Being…”
Pheweeee that phrase from him made my skin tingle
Maybe I need to rename my course Regain Your Self Esteem……… What do you think?
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

Sally Stubbs       sally@sally-stubbs.com

for your potential

 

TOXIC MAN?

September 17th, 2012

What’s the definition of a Toxic Man/Mr Wrong?


• A man is Toxic when he invalidates us and when is behaving as a ‘tyrant’. Invalidating us means he will be negatively critical about what we do and who we are, his communication will have a ‘put down’ quality.
The ‘Tyrant’ type will be continuously controlling us emotionally, and bewildering us by implying that our emotional outburst or our withdrawing is our ‘fault’, and that we are in the wrong or we are weak. The ‘Tyrant’ is often disguised as the ‘sheep in wolves’ clothing, friends and family will ‘see’ the ‘sheep’, that is the charmer, which causes us even more emotional bewilderment and crippling self doubt, when those around us will be saying “He’s such a great bloke!”. He is not, you are right and the observations of others are wrong.
Tyrants are very difficult to relate to, as their unconscious purpose is to control us emotionally, and then inform us that we are ‘badly behaved’, and they are always right.

Why are women attracted to them?
• Women are attracted to these type of men, for two main reasons.

 1) Toxic men, in the early days of relationship can hide their ‘poison’ behind strength and charm, intelligence, and romantic attention. The woman feels; I am so lucky to have such a wonderful man.

 2) Some women will have a deeply embedded belief system of low self worth or low self esteem, and that they must be wrong and they must deserve the ‘abuse’
What are the different types of Toxic Men? (eg: possessive, critical, cheater etc)
• Basically Toxic men, whether they are exhibiting behaviours of jealousy, or are cheating, are angry or critical have one main purpose and that is to be emotionally controlling of their women. This type of personality trait is manifesting in the Toxic man, because simplistically they have vey little if any self worth and they lack their own inner stability. The problem is that the Toxic man will rarely have sufficient real inner strength to admit – that they have a serious problem
Do you have any real life examples of women caught up in a bad relationship?
• Barbara met Adam, the charmer. Successful, wealthy, exciting holidays and spontaneous exotic trips. His family were well established, a flourishing business and elegant property. His friends adored him. Barbara moved in with him. Adam was the typical Charmer Tyrant. Soon she was a prisoner in his beautiful house. When she came to see me, her problem was: It must be my fault! We worked to deconstruct her belief, and she was able to walk away. She now lives in a small cottage, she has very little in the way of furniture, unlike Adams grand house, and Barbara is now happy in ‘her own skin’
Can a Toxic Man ever change? And if so, how?
• Absolutely he can change; he has to find his inner strength to first of all state: I have a problem. Once he truly takes this step, he needs to ask: What does he want from relationship with a woman. He needs to deconstruct what he believed had made him happy and that is to be emotionally controlling of his woman. He needs to genuinely want his woman to be happy with him. He needs to ask himself, what do I need to change about myself and my behaviours? And he will need to explore what he learnt from adults in his life when he was a youngster as to how a man relates to a woman.
When do you know that it’s time to leave him?
• After the third time he invalidates you and he refuses to accept that it is his behaviour that is wrong. Leave. Life is too short to stay in such a bewildering and unhappy place. You have a right to be in relationship that is harmonious and loving. Do you have any advice on how to leave a Toxic Man?
• Learn that you truly have the right to be happy and to be loved and supported. Explore your beliefs about yourself, and if you have any beliefs that are stating this problem is ‘my fault’, change your beliefs rapidly. Beliefs are not the truth. Learn that you have the right to walk away from a situation that is painful for you.
5 ways to tell if he’s Mr Wrong:
• If he puts you down more than twice, and does not engage with you to explore his wrong behaviour.
• If you are crying and fretting and he does not take responsibility for his wrong actions, and he does not rapidly change his behaviours.
• If what he does and says causes you emotional, psychological or physical pain. Believe your pain, it is telling you the truth about him.
• If he does not accept your mistakes with care and consideration and supportive communication.
• If he consistently does not ‘step into your world’ with you. This can take effort for him to respect and appreciate your emotional and psychological world, and of course sometimes he can be tired or preoccupied, and you will be sensitive to his needs at times like this. However, if he does ignore consistently your inner ‘world’ he is Mr Wrong! We come together in relationship for many reasons, but ignoring the others ‘world’ there will never be understanding, acceptance and harmony.

THE DEVIL YOU KNOW?

September 13th, 2012

Reason & Purpose

Our latest red squirrel news is that our lovely & ‘wickedly naughty’ daughter Emma has named one of them Mohican! Yeah, because the wide and high fluff of its tail perched on top of its head, is black!
Mike will get some videos for you to see the red squirrels soon – it would be brilliant if Mohican pitches up for the camera!
I watched a few minutes of a video on ‘Ted Talks’ yesterday of Tony Robbins.
Do you know him? (Robbins that is)
He started out in his career of becoming a ‘coach’ by taking a course on NLP and he has ‘flown’ with these strategies in his world of ‘coaching’.
I admire that Robbins has changed his M.O. since I last saw him on video about 6 years ago.
And I enjoy him, in that he is a riveting, charismatic presenter, and he’s kind of good looking if you like that ‘big’ all round smiley American look!
One of Robbins ideas really resonated with me, when I saw him 6 years or so ago.
He stated that:
If you do a good job – you get bad results!
If you do a great job – you get good results!
If you do an outstanding job – you get great results!
Let’s think for a moment, or for several moments! about the amazing Olympic athletes – from both the Olympic Games and the Paralympics Games. Did they do a good job? No they did an outstanding job.
Being successful as all the Olympians were truly successful even to be competing in the Games in the first place – was and is, massively emotionally and psychologically driven. Their success has to be how they individually think and feel and believe in the first place for any of them to ever get up off their bums and get going.
What you and I discuss and explore together is all about resolving – successfully and finally – psychological and emotional problems.
We need our goal to get us up off our bums and achieve successfully and finally our own resolution, just as the athletes had a goal to compete in the Games and to win a medal. The athletes will have kept their goal continuously, day by day, hour by hour, and through their gruelling hours of training fully in their sight.
I have talked a few times already about our motivation to be successful. And that two of the things which drive our motivation to really succeed are our reasons and our purposes.
Encarta Dictionary: reason – an explanation or justification for something.
Encarta Dictionary: purpose – the desire and the resolve necessary to accomplish a goal.
I’ve added dictionary definitions of reason and purpose, to help you focus on the terms.
You have a problem, we all have a problem. The problem can become like the untidy, messy cupboard!
Whatever the problem you have, (the one which you are thinking of right now) – let’s say the problem is for example: feeling nervous in certain situations, being fearful in some situations, lack of sleeping well, stressed, disturbed in a relationship – whatever your problem part of the lack of motivation to ‘get up off your bum’ is you’ve learnt to live with it!
Like the untidy cupboard, which we cannot really shut the door on, but we adjust to, learn to live with it, and yet it claims our attention maybe daily, calling out: Tidy Me!
As Laura, (name changed) who lost her hair with what was diagnosed as Androgenetic Alopecia, (an incurable disease she was told) and has now grown her own hair and grown her own way through her Work with me said:
“….You see, I had learnt to live with a wounded soul and I was so afraid to have any expectation for myself to heal – in case I could never be healed.
I once heard someone say something like: ‘If you’ve got to know the devil, it’s better than a god you may never know…’ These words kind of made sense as I’d made the ‘devil’, or maybe more accurately what ‘bedevilled’ me work for me, or so I believed!”
So maybe you will enjoy my Golden Bullets on reasons and purposes:
• Separate out your reasons to resolve your problem from your purposes to resolve your problem
• Your reasons will be explainable e.g. A reason for me to sleep well is that it’s healthier.
• Your purposes will be your desires e.g. A purpose for me to sleep well is I want energy to run with the winds and jump around for joy…..
• Keep working on your two equally important lists of reasons and purposes for you to resolve your problem. This will help to grow your motivation to Olympic athlete size!
• And all the time keep your eye firmly on your goal! Just like an Olympian…
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

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WORKING WITH YOUR ‘BUTLER’

September 10th, 2012

Hi Everyone:

This is an odd experience for me! I’m sitting here about to write to you – and ‘blow me’ I actually don’t know where to begin!
Usually I wake up with a dream with a great (or whacky!!) idea of what you and I will discuss today.
Or, the idea will float into my mind from that amazing place called ‘nowhere’ – (It came ‘out of nowhere’ we often say – and nowhere weirdly is usually blue – it – just came ‘out the blue’!) which – as we know, ‘it’, the ideas, the information, does not, come from ‘blue nowhere’!
The ideas come from a very important (hopefully wise!) often weird and wonderful, certainly not explored enough by any of us, ‘place’ called – (dah dah…) – the unconscious mind!
Recently we discussed together that ‘in that place’ of our unconscious ‘resides’ the most efficient ‘butler’; we cannot imagine how efficient our ‘butler’ is.
But (there’s one of those rare ‘buts’ from me!) – we need to communicate with our ‘butler’.
By the way I think of the ‘butler’ as hermaphrodite – in a really great way.
What I mean by hermaphrodite is this: in a man or a woman, in a boy or a girl, their ‘butler’ is both male and female. Simplistically the male side knows exactly when to say ‘NO’ – and the female side knows exactly when to say ‘YES’.
For goodness sake our unconscious, your unconscious is thee greatest asset we’ve got.

 Let’s get communicating elegantly and efficiently with our unconscious, now!


Because, here’s the paradox, our unconscious drives our problems; however, the absolute truth is our unconscious has the solutions.
Friends and family can be really helpful with: ‘You want to sleep better, eat honey because bees are great at sleeping…!’ ‘You want too lose weight, eat grasshoppers….errrrr……… because grasshoppers are skinny!’
It’s kind of them to want to help, for sure, however, it’s our unconscious that has the solutions. And, if you don’t know how to really get started on communicating elegantly and efficiently with your unconscious have a go with one of my courses.
Once our unconscious really makes the change to a problem state for us, and resolves the problem, we keep the change – permanently.
Now here’s the thing, our ‘butler’ does not respond to being told what to do! Like some of the Muppet therapists work I’ve heard over and over again!
Which goes like this: ‘you’re so very relaxed – deeper and deeper relaxed you will stop over eating – you will stop sleeping badly – you’ll stop being stressed – you will stop being nervous – you will be so calm so confident……..’
This approach is Bull S**t!
Because our ‘butler’ has an exquisite language of its own: the language of puns, symbols, allegories metaphors – and primary processing language. The ‘butler’ does not respond to secondary processing language, that is, language which is ‘every day’.
Secondary processing language is structured according to external logic and expressed in grammar, syntax and has social context.
When we have a problem: I can’t sleep, I am stressed, I am fat, I am nervous….. our ‘butler’ can respond to the: Be Calm suggestions for a day a week a month. However, our ‘butler’ in our ‘home’ responded by shutting the door on an untidy noisy room – the untidy room is psycho active – and the noise and untidiness will once again eventually ‘spill out’.
The outstanding thing about my kind of Work is the right kind of unconscious language assists us to Work with our ‘butler’ and permanently tidy the untidy room……..
If you’re any kind of a Trekky? I have this grand hallucination that when Gene Rodenberry said:
‘To boldly go where no man has gone before….’
‘Man’s final frontier….’ he was talking about our unconscious!
And, I’ll just add I don’t think our unconscious is a ‘place’! I believe the unconscious has no boundaries apart, of course, from our morals and values. Our unconscious is quantum (for want of a better description) in that it is not bound by time or space.
So, my odd experience of sitting here, an hour ago, not knowing what we would be focused on discussing today is because my mind was absolutely buzzing. Consciously I thought we’d be discussing the great seminar I attended in Northampton last week on David Grove’s ground breaking Therapy Work, and I just did not know where I could possibly start with the ‘buzz’ of it all.
Just goes to show what the conscious mind knows!
Anyway, it’s a bit like this: When I write to you, I deeply know where I want to go; I know my goal, which is always that I want to give you something valuable and useful, interesting and inspiring. And some ‘out of the box’ ideas for thinking differently!
Here’s an anecdote that you may have heard from me before. My Dad, who is my hero, and I, landed at Dublin airport and jumped into a taxi. Dad gave the address of our hotel to the driver, and the driver quipped: “Well noow, if I were goin’ there I wouldn’t be startin’ from here!” (True story!)
And for me to give you something useful and important – for you – well, I didn’t start with the seminar on David’s Work!
Sit down quietly for a few minutes with your amazing ‘butler.

 Ask a simple question to which you want or need an answer……….. it’s an excellent place for you to start…………. Email me if you need some assistance to formulate your question.

 Questions are powerful. I’ll be delighted to help.
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

personal & private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com

017687 71377

CLEAN WORLDS FOUNDATION

September 3rd, 2012

Sally Stubbs

MY VISION FOR A CLEAN WORLDS FOUNDATION:-

3rd June 2010 a nightmare in Cumbria.
It was reported that a petty row with fellow taxi drivers was the trigger for Derrick Bird, which erupted into full-scale carnage which ended with him killing 12 people in a horrific slaughter before turning the gun on himself.
No one who knew him thought the quiet, taciturn man, who was born into a well-known local Cumbrian family, would unleash such terror and horror on his community.
But his personal history reveals a life plagued by loneliness and frustration.
I’m not going into this story. Mike & I did not know Derrick Bird. One of Mike’s friends from Mike’s past was killed by Derrick that day.
Everyone who saw and heard this story was, of course, horrified.
Horrified………….
I do believe that we need to have answers, real answers and useful answers to the question: What turned Derrick Bird that day? Useful information that can assist us in the potential to prevent such horror…………..
A number of weeks after this day of horror, a young mother phoned me and asked me if I could please see her 10 year old daughter.
I will call this little girl ‘C’.
‘C’s mother told me that her daughter had witnessed one of the killings on 3rd June, and that ‘C’ could not and would not talk about it. Of course I said I would see ‘C’, and added that she would not have to talk about it.
Since June 3rd. as you and I can totally understand, ‘C’ could not be alone, could not sleep alone, could not let her mother literally out of her sight, could not have any doors or windows in her home open, all had to be locked up, and the rare times she could leave the house she was ‘glued’ to her mother.
‘C’ arrived clinging to her mother’s leg. I explained “T Minus One” by drawing it on an A1 flip chart. Within 20 minutes ‘C’ was really engaging with me. She ‘got it’
‘C’s “T Minus One” – the moment that she froze in time was (understandably) just before she witnessed the murder of her neighbour, right on the street in front of her.
She froze time as Derrick Bird was driving his car slowly up the road.
And in that moment ‘C’ lost her ‘ME’.
This is a type of “T Minus One” which is experienced by a complete shock.
This simplistically means that when there’s a trauma which happens as sudden shock we unconsciously regress time back, and freeze time a moment or even a few moments before the worse moments.
‘C’ and I worked for a few weeks. We found and then freed her ’ME’ into “T Plus One” – that is into time after Trauma.
‘C’ told me that if she had not Worked with me – her ‘ME’ would have been lost forever……………. Yeah, I cried!
At our last Session I asked her if she would do a lecture tour with me on “T Minus One” How cool would that be!!
She now has a happy life…………………
THE POINT OF THIS STORY?
Before contacting me, ‘C’s parent had been to the local doctors’ surgery to request help. They were told that ‘C’ would have to be on an 18 months waiting list before receiving counseling!
I have a Dream to form a foundation – yeah it’s to be called: Clean Worlds – Clean Worlds Foundation will give this kind of Work to kids, and young adults like ‘C’.
Any ideas you may have  – I will so gratefully welcome.
Thank you
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

A PRECIOUS GIFT:

August 22nd, 2012

Party Wear!

PRICELESS!
As Mike’s birthday was on Friday – and mine was on Sunday – we had non stop celebrations ALL weekend! What Fun. What Joy. I can ‘swear’ that the old stone walls of our house are smiling ‘their heads off’!!!!
Love and laughter flowed just like ‘our’ sparkling river. And you know what, the amazing thing is, just like the river, there’s no Stop on it………….
In Praise of your ‘ME’ – here for you is my Gift – I want to give you thee most precious gift I can for my Birthday – some priceless ‘Golden Bullets’.
• Your ‘ME’ needs: I repeat needs, space to be! We can get all philosophical about that; however give your self a few minutes to just gently think about it. Space to be… Therefore the first thing your ‘ME’ needs is to be located in ‘space’ which can be either ‘inside you’ or outside you’. Ask your self this question, from a place where you feel comfortable and perhaps private, maybe a bedroom or a meadow….. Give your self 20 minutes or so – your ‘ME’ deserves your time.
• Question: “And where could my ‘ME’ be?” You may get an instant answer. Your ‘ME’ could be located inside you, like a feeling in your stomach, or heart, or head…… your eyes, your throat. Or, and this will not be strange to you once you take time to ask the location question – your ‘ME’ could be ‘outside’ of you – like above, or behind or one side or another side.
• Your next question: (perhaps on the following day as your unconscious may need 24 hours to process ‘where’ your ‘ME’ could be) “And – what does my ‘ME’ need?” You may need to have a note book with you for your ‘ME’s answers……
Take your time with this. Validating and respecting your ‘ME’ will have massive ongoing value for you. As you, your self begins to give your ‘ME’ the right space to be, and the right and normal responses that your ‘ME’ deserves – So your ‘ME’ will be validated and respected in the right way by others – who are important in your life. Your ‘ME’ will no longer feel pressured and ignored………..
For all of us our ‘ME’ has a certain genius to be expressed in exactly the right way.
For all of us our ‘ME’ has boundless capacity for natural harmonious enjoyment……………

Enjoy!
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

IMAGINE ALL THE PEOPLE…..

August 15th, 2012

Imagine

Get Olympian Size Results:-
So there we were, Mike and me, watching the closing ceremony of our British Olympic Games…….. And imagine my delight when they played John Lennon’s Imagine!
You may have read the letter from me a few weeks ago: ‘You may say I’m a dreamer!’
But I’m not the only one.
You too are a dreamer.
And Lennon, in his wisdom, goes on to sing: ………”And the world will live as one.”
Now I’m certain that you will imagine that I have my own take on Lennon’s exquisite words!
You’re right!
And that is, for us all to live in the world as one – first of all it’s a mind set – within each of our individual minds ‘worlds’ to live within our self as one.
Our inner ‘world’ is our starting place. As it definitely was for all the amazing and successful Olympians. My absolute total full on delighted congratulations to them all.
We are, I believe, all of us proud. Proud of our Olympians, of our British and your own nations achievements. Thrilled that all those competing nations brought us all together as one…….

We can consider that some of the most successful medal winners started out only four years ago with a Goal.
They had their focus, their determination and motivation, they knew their reasons and purposes – and they went ahead – they moved forward towards their Goal with consummate, unwavering self belief.
Four years of a certain focused mind set.
We know that most of the winners employed sports psychology coaches to expand their motivation and self belief. And they had wonderful utter support from family and friends.
Bottom line – it was their self belief and motivation that got them there.
Did you see the psychologists who spoke to some of the medal winners – who were ‘down’ and rather flat and even having sleepless nights because they were asking themselves the question: What now? This, ‘What Now’ – we can discuss together at another time.
I thought a lot about that totally admirable four years of resolute, dogged determination and motivation. How do they maintain that level of discipline for all those years and thousands of gruellingly ‘uncomfortable’ hours of training? The how, will have its individual complexities for every one of our Olympians.
What will be common to their drive is: Recognition.
We all of us need some form of Recognition – from some source, not necessarily from our entire nation and the world, just from one or two significant individuals. Recognition is ‘food’ for our souls…..
Some of us right now this moment may be saying: “Well I run a mile every morning… I don’t need recognition for that. I enjoy it”!
Or we may be saying; “I do an outstanding job at my work – I know it – I don’t need any one to recognise what I achieve at work”.
But – (rare for me to use the But word!!) when we think about it – for all of us there is an area in each of our lives – when some kind of recognition of our self from some source – a family member – a loved one – a child – a customer – does give our soul nourishment.
For instance my soul is nourished everytime I receive one of those sweet emails from some one who is Working with one of my audio courses and they say: ‘I am Happy, thank you Sally’.
It’s not an ego boost! It’s not a recognition that makes me boastful – it’s soul food.
So, Mike said to me, after we’d watched some of the Closing Ceremony for the Olympics: “It’s taken hard training and discipline for a minimum of four years for these Olympians to succeed – when it only takes half an hour or so a day for forty days to really succeed and achieve a goal with one of your audio courses…”
So, what do you think? I’d really be delighted to hear your thoughts on this.
I think that the lovely people who are Working with me on my Audio Courses, and those who are now thinking of Working with me on my Audio courses, their ‘soul’ needs Recognition for what they oh so successfully achieve……….
Recognition for their discipline for 40 days. Definitely – they have earned it.
Because, anyone Working with me on my Audio courses, it is they who do the Work.
I’m there every step of the way! It’s like if I was a fitness coach – and the person Working with me (on my Audio course) is building psychological and emotional muscle – to successfully achieve a pristine, uncluttered, ‘un-stuck’ mind set – I don’t sit there distractedly saying: “Yeah lift an extra weight errrrrrr…. only if you want…..” I say: “You can do it – I Know you can – and this is how to do it successfully.”
I have loads of energy.
However – it is the person Working with me who ‘lifts the weights.’ They accomplish for themselves.
And they deserve Recognition.
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

SECURE YOUR BRIDGE:-

August 13th, 2012

To those who have asked about my Courses
 
So we did some simple arithmetic together a few days ago! (Thanks to Earl Nightingale of the wonderful Nightingale-Connaught company.)
And there I was, suggesting to you, one my 40 audio courses, for someone who you know who is not living their life with vitality and passion and fulfilment of their self and their being………
And I was struck reading Earl, that Working with one of my courses takes around 20 hours.
So, let’s say we do actually work 3,000 hours a year. That leaves 3,000 hours in the year, when we’re not sleeping, to ‘fit in’ 20 hours or so in 40 days.
And that leaves 2,980 hours to feel and be passionate, full of vitality, celebrating your life and your unique genius! The genius to be – who you are meant to be…..
So, let’s just think about this particular truism again together for a few moments:
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius…………

I have been asked by loads of people to write about my courses. And the reason I haven’t, is because I am so, so proud of them.
.
But, here’s a little anecdote, just a short one to interest or amuse you. My Dad, my Hero, the strong, loving, and gentle man taught me to walk through life with consummate pride!! Bit of a conflict here for me cos my Mum, who sadly never ‘ate cakes’, in her life chastised me thoroughly for looking and being so proud: “You can’t go through life being so proud…”
So, for those of you who have asked about my courses, here goes……
The thing is my Therapeutic audio courses contain the best Work that I’ve put together in 30 years of 1:1 sessions and rigorous study to assist in resolving and curing psychological and emotional problem and suffering.
To assist people who have been struggling to live life with passion, vitality, inner certainty, calmness and awe, resourcefulness and beautiful and useful visions.
The scripts for the assignments I wrote and re-wrote. I asked for real advice from friends who are very successful (and I got it!!)
The assignments each take around 5 to 10 minutes a day. There are four of them. Ten days for each one. And they are based on the massive research of: What do all successful people have in common?
Whether that is in health, in well being, an inner stability in sense of self, in business and so on across the board. These four things are what they all have in common:
• They know what they want – they know their goal. They know their purposes and reasons to achieve their goal.
• They are fully motivated to achieve their goal.
• They have total belief that they will achieve their goal – successfully
• They can future pace themselves fully, with no objections from any part of them, into the time when their goal is successfully achieved.
These are the four assignments that I’ve written and recorded for each of my courses to guide you and teach you how to achieve individual goals such as: Be the Right Weight, Sleep Well, Gain Self Esteem, Have Harmonious Relationships, Enhance Happiness, End Anger and many others………
The next part of my Therapeutic Courses is a metaphorical story, which lasts around 20 minutes (entrained to the Ultradian Rhythms in our brain*).
Four different stories for each forty day course – listen to each one for 10 consecutive days.
Each time you listen the wisdom of your unconscious is hearing and responding positively and appropriately for you, to something different and important, unique to you as an individual.
Now, my stories, I did not have to re write!
Neither did I have to ask successful friends to ‘pull them apart’ for me so that they would be outstandingly good!
I wrote them – and they awed me, they are outstanding. I wrote them all from that ‘other place’ – which we have discussed before – from my deep unconscious.
And, without wanting to appear ‘fanciful’ here, maybe my stories also ‘came from’ that ‘space’ or ‘place’ that Carl Jung called the Collective Unconscious?
I can’t say, maybe one day I will know!!!
But honestly writing the stories for me was like I am a total natural. I would read them and proof listen to the recordings** and say: WOW – ‘where’ did that come from!
And then I had to ice the cake – as my Mum would say!
I added four relaxation tracks to my courses. We all need or want to relax in various ways depending on what is happening in our life – hence four different relaxation techniques!
I have so many people who have trialled, tried out, bought and Worked with my courses – successfully. I receive feed back that is profound and poignant and inspiring.
I had to really, really know that my courses are the besting in that they gain outstandingly successful results. They ‘do what it says on the tin’.
We are proud to say that we now have people all over the globe Working with my courses from the UK, USA, Canada, India……
** I want to thank with all my Heart my niece Laura Monaghan, I’m so proud of her, for her exquisite voice and her utterly focused perfectionist work singing with me on my stories. And Claire Woyka her voice is amazing, and her passion for my Work shines through her every note. And to Ron Angus the best recording technician I’ve ever come across. Thank you.
You can hear a sample from one of my courses
Thank you so much for listening to my proudness……
Warmly
Sally
* Ultradian Rhythms: Ref: Dr Ernest Rossi Professor Kathryn Rossi, Prof Kleitman.
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

BBC Radio Cumbria – Kevin’s Pigeon Phobia

August 8th, 2012

Kevin Fernihough – Fear of Pigeons

On Monday I was talking to BBC Radio Cumbria Presenter, Kevin Fernihough,who has a phobia of pigeons dating back to when he was four years old.  He was invited, along with his father, into his neighbour’s pigeon loft where, when the pigeons were released, he clung to his father’s leg in fear. This fear has stayed with him through to his adult life.

You can hear the extract from Kevin Fernihoughs Radio Cumbria program here – 12-08-06 Kevin Fernihough Pigeon phobia

Do you have a phobia?   This page on my web site has details on how to Fix Your Phobia  don’t delay, it only takes 30 minutes each day for 40 days to be CURED

You will be a most welcome visitor.

Sally Stubbs

Rapha-Hypnosis.com

sally@sally-stubbs.com – please do not hesitate to contact me direct

SIMPLE SUMS:-

August 8th, 2012

I am on a mission!  4,000 hours to ourself? (30mins per day x 40 days) = 3,980 + amazing results

I loved sums, I still do. ‘They’ used to laugh when I was little, ‘they’ said I was useless, at add ups and take aways!!
Five red squirrels this morning for breakfast, in and out of the ‘café’ that Mike built for them. Yeah five of them. I can count!
Anyway Earl Nightingale saved me the trouble and did this sum for me!
I haven’t actually checked if he’s totally accurate. It’s not like I’m marking Earl’s homework! So I apologise if Earl’s sums aren’t ‘bob on’
Here’s the maths:
We have 6,000 waking hours a year.
We work around 2,000 of those hours a year. (Earl did not add that some of us do work a 1,000 hours a year longer!!)
Therefore we have around 3,000 to 4,000 waking hours a year – for our self.
I only came across this sum recently, and thought why didn’t I work this out ages ago!
Do you think this is quite huge to consider – that we have around three to four thousand hours a year – for our self – to do with what we like – and to be – a human being, for some of this time, or in fact most of this time – instead of the fairly constant, – when we’re not sleeping – human doing!
Don’t you find it interesting that someone somewhere way back in our history in their ‘wisdom’ named us human beings – not human doings!
I might just want to Google later on, who this wise person or group of people were, who named us thus.
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius.
Most every child will be a spectacular space traveller – will be a brilliant bird soaring over mountains – will be the wise prince – will be the warrior in shining armour – will be the magical princess………………
Most every child will have received an injunction – probably from most well meaning adults to: ‘do this, do that’.
And for so many of us – as a child – our genius to ‘be’ was ‘wounded’ And so into our adult life the ‘wounding’ deep within us causes us pain. We more and more become human doings in an attempt to not feel the ‘pain’ of wounding.
So, here’s what I propose:
Any one you know who is ‘suffering’ either from the negative belief injunctions from well meaning adults when they were youngsters – or received some ‘wounding’ to their identity when they were youngsters – please – tell them that half an hour a day with me – with one of my courses for forty days – will assist them to restore their unique sense of child genius – to be a happy human being. Resolve and cure their wounds – either those wounds of negative self beliefs – or those wounds when at some time in their early life their sense of their identity was ‘questioned’
Look – my courses come with a money back guarantee – because I am on a mission!
I recently received this email – from a wonderful lady who is Working with my Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence, 40 day course.
How about this:
“Sally Stubbs you are AWESOME and I can’t tell you how delighted I am to have found you 🙂
Day 2 of CD 2, I’m so happy!
THANK YOU”
X
I have asked her permission of course to quote her email and share it with you to inspire you.
And you know what – I’m happy! I’m happy that she is re-gaining her happiness.
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

ONE MOMENT BEFORE:

August 6th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

How to “Resolve Trauma” without re-living it?

Lots of people have been asking me questions about “T Minus One”.
I really love your questions, do keep them coming. Thank you.
So, here goes: T = Trauma
“T minus (-) one” is a moment in time before the worst moment of the trauma.
“T” is the worst moment or moments when the affect, distress is most intense.
“T plus (+) one” is a moment in time just after the worst moment of the traumatic experience.
We are now in T + one, the trauma is over. But not all of our self is in T + one.
Part of our persona remains stuck, or frozen in time, in the very difficult T – one moment.
The difficulties, pain & bewilderment keep on replaying within our unconscious.
Why did we get stuck? We froze time as an unsuccessful mechanism to protect our self from ‘T’ or event to prevent ‘T’ from ever happening.
We know that the problem is not located during the worst part of a trauma due to the unerring use, by the person who has the problem, of the gerund * “…ing”
Examples:
“My stomach keeps on churning….”
“I just keep thinking the worst…..”
“I have a tightening in my chest…..”
“I keep feeling like I’m falling……”
“There’s a fluttering in my throat…..”
“I feel like there’s a knife stabbing my heart……”
These examples are all indexed in the time frame, some time before the worst part of the event.
* A gerund from the Latin: to carry on – indicates a reoccurring non finite verb and behaves like the present participle (as a noun). The ‘something’ never completed itself; it carries on, a continuous over and over again cycle.
The nightmare sequences such as:
“He was chasing me and just before he grabbed me I woke up….”
“I was falling and falling and just before I crashed on the rocks I woke up….”
None of these dreams are finite, they do not ‘end’ we stop the dream – by being suddenly awake just before the next moment becomes worse, i.e.:
“He catches me and stabs me.”
“I land on the rocks and my body is all smashed.”
Bear in mind that these dream sequences are rarely memories.
They come from the rich language of the unconscious in allegory, symbols, puns, metaphor.
This is a more obvious example of a nightmare sequence: “I was running and running through hell and just before the monster got its claws into me and ate me alive – I suddenly woke up…..”
This example of a nightmare sequence will most likely have come from a child’s experience. An experience of an event or period of events in their life which was ‘hell’ to them, when an adult or older person were behaving ‘monstrously’ The child felt their real identity, who they really were, was being ‘eaten up’ by the ‘monster’
Problems are born at specific moments in time and space. These moments range from a ‘damning’ look in a parents eyes to repeated violating behaviours from another person. A child will not determine and distinguish the difference between their internal feelings and their external environment consequently the information from both becomes an internal undifferentiated information mass. Like a tangled ball of wool. This creates a symptom complex that permeates their experiences and persists into adulthood.
So what do we do?
My Work 1:1 comfortably and safely goes into the “T Minus One” moment and differentiates the information contained in that moment.
The differentiation allows us to focus on the individual now separated ‘strands’ and bring appropriate resolutions. This allows time to move on – never through “T” rather ‘over’ or ‘around’ “T” into “T + 1”.
Also my Work on my CD courses will assist the differentiation of “T Minus One” information and move to resolutions.
All of my Work also honours the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ or ‘frozen’ in a moment in time………….
Excellent!
There’s quite a bit to take in BUT it IS fabulous………
Also more of my videos on YouTube if you would care to take a look.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

WARNING! USE WITH LOVE & CARE:-

August 1st, 2012

Sally Stubbs

I do enjoy having my rants!
Here’s the latest!
Recently I watched a few minutes of early morning Breakfast television.
Did you happen to see this one?
Absolutely shocking!
The presenters informed the viewers that around 10% of five year old children in the UK are clinically depressed.
We could talk a lot about this! But all I’ll say is that I am horrified, heart achingly horrified.
A very pretty clinical psychologist came onto the program ‘sofa’ to explain, that the reason for these statistics about depression in such young children is because parents are in low spirits about the credit crunch, and their personal finances.
OK – it’s a possibility.
I do have to say that my Dad, when he was a child, had four siblings, hardly any food, no new clothes no new shoes, five children in one bed, outside toilet…..
My Dad wrote: ‘My family were rich! A wealth of lovingness, contrariness and sentimentality………’
Just a thought!!!
Breakfast time television went on to show a few minutes of an eight year old boy working with his therapist.
The boy had been in therapy since he was eighteen months old, when he had displayed some aggressive behaviours…………………….. (I really want to say: Give me strength! But I won’t! No really I WILL I need it in these Muppet circumstances)
The boy had floppy, shiny dark hair and a really nice round face.
He was sitting with his therapist and winding sellotape around his hand.
She said; ‘you’re doing that because you want to wind the tape around your mother’s mouth and make her be quiet.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not, I just like doing it’
The boy had taken some of his toys tied them to a piece of string and hung them out the window.
The therapist said: ‘You’re doing that because you feel insecure and so you’re making your toys feel insecure.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not’.
The therapist repeated her diagnosis.
A tragedy, a total lack of respectful communication with the boy.
That is what I find shocking.
The TV presenter said to the boy: ‘Why are you hanging your toys out the window on a piece of string?’ The boy said, with a nice, pleasant smile: ‘because it’s fun!’
We have lots of skills and strategies to achieve outstanding rapport with another person.
Let’s just consider a couple of them for now:
First of all, let’s think what we are doing here:
Rapport is the excellence of relationship that results in mutual trust, receptiveness and responsiveness.
Rapport is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust and participation within which another person can respond comfortably.
A ‘couple’ of strategies:
• ‘Mirror’ with the person. This means, however the person is sitting or standing, make your body a ‘mirror’ image of theirs. The person will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world’
• ‘Pace’ with the person. This means breathe with them, the same rate and speed and depth as their breathing. Swallow with them and blink with them. The ‘person’ will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world. ‘Pacing’ is used in marketing techniques, as once you are elegantly ‘pacing’ with a person you can then take the ‘lead’.
I am not interested in taking the ‘lead’ in communicating, unless on some occasions it can be truly useful.
For example a few years ago I had a call from the police.
They asked me if they could bring a 15 year old to see me. The young girl had been raped in a local park, and the police could not get the girl to speak.
Of course I would see her.
The poor young girl arrived with two policemen and a police woman.
She curled up in a chair in my room, with her head on her knees, she was breathing very shallowly, and rapidly, high up in her chest.
I did not fully curl up in my chair, I mirrored her really elegantly, and I ‘paced’ her breathing, meaning I was breathing exactly like her.
She did not speak, and apart from her breathing she made no sound.
I did not speak, and apart from my breathing I did not make a sound.
After around 8 or 9 minutes my breathing was totally in sync with her, and I began to elegantly slow and deepen my breathing. I was then ‘leading’ her and her breathing followed mine.
I was then able to slowly, slowly uncurl my body, and she followed me. After a couple more minutes she was uncurled breathing well and she burst into sobbing tears.
After the tears she started to spontaneously talk about the horror she had experienced.
Listen to the other person’s use of language, not just the tone, volume and speed of their voice, also their use of words.
• Elegantly respond with their tone, speed, volume and use of words. In terms of their words, listen as to whether they are using visual, auditory or kinaesthetic words.
• This is letting you know that their inner ‘world’ communication is visual (they make pictures) or auditory (they make sounds) or kinaesthetic (they make feelings)
• Examples: they say to you – “I see what you’re saying” so you respond with visual words such as: “It looks like that…..” Or they say: “It sounds to me as though…..” you respond with auditory words such as: “I hear you….” Or they say: “I felt you ignored me…..” you respond with kinaesthetic words such as: “Your feelings are important….”
There are more of these strategies, maybe for another time hey! These three strategies may seem simple to you. Try them with care and love, they are really powerful.
If you’re not astonished at your results I will eat my hat!
And please have a look at our web sites, there’s more therapy stuff to be read there.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

BRIDGE BUILDING:

July 30th, 2012

Let’s talk about having, and how to have, outstanding harmonious relationships.
And the how is to have outstanding rapport.
I named my last company – Excellent Rapport!

.
Rapport is the excellence of relationship that results in mutual trust, receptiveness and responsiveness.
I gain rapport with you by understanding and respecting your inner world (thoughts, beliefs, values as you experience it).
Rapport is essential for good communication.

.
Good rapport is the essential first step in having good communication with you.
Rapport is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust and participation within which you can respond comfortably to make the inner changes that you want and choose.
I, ever respectful of you, in my 1:1 Work and in my Work on my CD/MP3 courses build a bridge to your model of the world.
Everybody’s model of the world is subtly different, unique.
Without the bridge you cannot step out of the part of your world which is causing you distress, discomfort, conflicts and uncertainties, suffering and ‘pain’.
Having rapport is having outstanding communication…………….
We can learn skills to achieve rapport with others, which may seem to you to be strange! Maybe lacking spontaneity? Maybe manipulative of another person?
Sorry but the word: “boogaloo!” just popped up from my unconscious – which is giving me a big smiley smile because Mike uses that word to mean: ‘So bl**dy what, who cares!!!!!!!!’
Of course we would not use rapport skills and strategies in a relationship that is fully harmonious, we’ve got the rapport in this relationship! No need for skills.
And as for manipulative, a lot of our communications with another person are manipulative we just don’t consciously know it!
We can: think of loads of examples!
I’ll start us off.

.
OK so we don’t want this person to approach us, or speak to us. We can’t actually walk away. We ‘hide’! The thousands of tiny muscles in our face and eyes ‘close down’ our breathing changes, our shoulder muscles and torso sinks away. We’re communicating to the person ‘stay away’!
We have, hopefully, successfully manipulated the situation with our communication!
Anyway, here we are fancying this person, you know what we do! We not only smile, our torso moves outwards, our breathing changes to a deeper, or faster state – we actually dilate our pupils, how clever we are! Now, (we hope!) we’ve communicated successfully to the ‘eye candy’ person to ‘come on’, and the ‘eye candy’ comes closer.
Psychology research suggests that only around 7% of any communication is verbal!
This is my Dream for us all: That we can, all of us have outstanding rapport first of all with our self.
For you to first have outstanding rapport with your self!


Your self will then feel respected, understood and accepted by you.
How we achieve this, within our self, is to resolve and free our inner self from any past ‘pains’ and suffering.
We can Cure the ‘pain’ and bewilderment. We can find, and free the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ and lost. The information contained in the “T Minus One” moments will be transformed and resolved.

And the other part of the how to achieve and have outstanding rapport with your self – is to discover those negative debilitating beliefs, which manifest in our conscious and unconscious inner dialogues, and change them.


Change them to the only beliefs, about your self, that you truly need: Beliefs that validate your self and celebrate your life.
I promise you this does not turn you into some vile egotistically non caring person!
I’m living proof of that!
My ‘me’ has outstanding rapport with my ‘self’……
This is my Dream for you and for all of us……
Thank you for listening
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com
My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

SHOOTING FROM THE HIP?

July 27th, 2012

 I woke up this morning wondering what I’d be talking to you about today – and Bingo – in that hypnogogic state, those few moments of waking, when our unconscious is flowing with important information for us I had a great memory.
Dear ole David Grove, in my memory this morning, he’s striding up and down teaching.
He’s wearing khaki shorts a tee shirt and he’s bare foot. David is a Maori on his mother’s side of his family.
As he’s striding up and down he’s using his arms as if he’s firing an arrow from a bow. (he is mixing his Metaphors here – but do I care! No way – the man is a genius with an awesomely huge heart!)
David is saying; “You ‘pull back’ time to before the negative debilitating beliefs and ‘pain’; you ‘pull back’ time to the time of a pristine mind.
And then you fire the magic bullet (the pristine resourceful mind) into the present”.
Well David named the ‘bullet’: magic. And in my last post I named it golden.
My image of the golden bullets is that the ‘gold’ is liquid, flowing into the mind, pristine and pure.
We are ‘pulling back’ time and as we ‘move’ back through time we resolve and change the negative beliefs, until we have a pristine mind.
GOLDEN BULLET FOR THOSE DARK DAYS – HOW TO BE UPBEAT AND LIGHT
How to turn a bad day into a good one, like when you wake up feeling there’s a big black cloud hanging over you:
• Stop waking with the ‘dark cloud’ and dream well. What do I mean? How do I do that?
• We dream several times a night, and the main purpose of our rapid eye movement (REM) dreams is to search for solutions to our problems. A difficulty can be that we are dreaming in those last few minutes or so before we awake and we awake with the darkness of a problem still hanging there unresolved.
• To dream well, – as you are dropping off to sleep at night you can clearly instruct your unconscious, that is the part of the mind where dreams come from.
• Tell your mind clearly and with energy: I want my dreams to search comfortably for solutions, and I will awake in the morning feeling clearer and lighter.
• When you give yourself this instruction before falling asleep – do not actually mention a particular problem, until you become more accomplished at your dream work. The unconscious mind will use its own wisdom to search for solutions.
GOLDEN BULLETS TO FREE YOURSELF OF THE ‘DARK CLOUD’ AND HAVE A GOOD DAY
• If your dream work takes a while to really kick in for you in a positive way, and you still awake for a while with the ‘dark cloud’ you can use what we call ‘pattern interruption’ to dispel it. This means: do something very, very different and with as much energy as you can muster.
• Example: Just sit up in bed and shout out loud something like: I am sitting here (Truism) I am breathing (Truism) Brighter days are good! (Truism)
• Sing out loud, very loud, loads of energy, a song that’s maybe funny, daft or upbeat. Then move.
• Einstein said: ‘Nothing can happen until something moves!’ So move, get out of bed, and do something else that is entirely different – like throw ice cold water in your face! Dance!
• Why? Because when we interrupt our patterns of behaviour, and I’m calling the ‘dark cloud’ a behaviour, we need only do this 2 or 3 times, and when we do the interruption with energy the brain stops being able to access the old pattern.
MORE GOLDEN BULLETS ON HOW TO TURN A BAD DAY INTO A GOOD DAY
How to turn a bad day into a good one when, let’s say for an example, you walk into the office and find your boss in a vile mood.
• Check your beliefs? Do you believe that their behaviour is about you? Could your belief be wrong? Are they having a hard time from someone else and maybe splurging their hurt feeling around you? If this is what they are doing, you can of course choose to think How sad for them, and shrug it off you. Or you can choose to protect yourself emotionally, by imagining yourself, for example, behind a strong glass shield where their behaviour cannot ‘get to you’.
• Realise that we cannot change another person, unless they ask us for help. We can only change our own responses in a way that is comfortable and strengthening of our self, and also generally respectful of another’s needs.
• We can ‘walk away’ from the situation even if we actually remain right next to the person, we can still ‘walk away’ – knowing this important thing, it is our choice to ‘walk away’ we are not being forced, pushed or controlled by their behaviour.
• Or, we can observe this person and then choose to communicate with them about their vile behaviour, by using their language! To communicate well and achieve a really good out come we need to listen to the language another person uses, and take a step into their emotional world by ‘speaking’ their language with them.

I am still Working rigorously on becoming a truly successful Revolutionary!
Enjoy your ‘gold’

Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

www.rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com


 My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

GOLDEN BULLETS!

July 26th, 2012

Let’s talk about enhancing your happiness.

Let’s not put a ceiling on happiness hey! I don’t! It’s interesting to think about our happiness, it’s not quantifiable, and yet it’s not theoretical. We cannot hold it or control. Yet – It is real. Biochemically we can measure it, in a certain way! We can ‘feed’ our happiness, nourish it and grow it.
And do you know, not once in 30 years of my Work, no one has ever come to me and said: “I’ve got too much happiness can you help to cure it!”

MY GOLDEN BULLETS TO NURTURE AND NOURISH OUR HAPPINESS:
• Check our beliefs.
• Our Beliefs drive a massive part of our behaviour
• Our Beliefs are often unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them!
• So when we set our goal to achieve X Y Z, for example lose weight, assert our self with our ‘snarly’ boss and we failed with that goal in the past – we will probably have a belief that we will ‘Fail Again’.
• No matter how much ‘get up and go’, up beat energy, determination we think we have to achieve our goal, our behaviours will be driven by our unconscious ‘I’m a failure’ belief
GOLDEN BULLET TO HAVE POSITIVE BELIEFS:
If you have been Working with repeating to your self a truism like my example:
“It is healthy and also nice to be calm.”
Now begin to Work with a positive affirmation like my example: “I’m going to be really, really calm! (….when I assert myself with my daughter, or boss, or neighbour….)”
• The use and purpose of positive affirmation is to ‘bring up’ into our conscious mind and awareness any objecting negative beliefs that we may have, so that we can do something about them and change them.
• Positive affirmations do not create positive beliefs to achieve our goal. And if we have no negative beliefs we don’t blimin’ well need to waste our time with positive affirmation, we simply act and achieve!
• Here’s the absolute ‘gold’: – as you say your affirmation, be exquisitely sensitive, which I know you are, to your immediate next thought.
(By the way I don’t think I’ve mentioned that a few years ago I contacted several neuroscience departments in universities asking: What is the speed of thought?
One answer is: Less than one tenth of a second.
So you need to slow down to get some of those thoughts, or you’ll miss them.
My free download story will help you to slow down your thoughts
• If your very next thought is objecting – to your affirmation – this objection will be your negative belief – which will have it’s foundation in some kind of failure……
• Write down your objecting thoughts (negative beliefs) – and Work to discover your solutions to them.
• Remember that a lot of our negative behaviour patterns are driven by our negative beliefs, and we can change them.
• You can also Work with one of my 40 day courses, this will help you enormously.
• Once we get to know our negative beliefs we have choice. We can choose to change them.
• When we really get to understand our deep inner belief systems, particularly about our self, we can choose to have only those beliefs that are supportive of our self and celebrate our life, enhancing our happiness.
• We can choose to stop having those beliefs that are self condemning or self invalidating.

MORE GOLDEN BULLETS TO SUCCEED:
More on goal setting.
• Goal setting takes time.
So we’ll remind ourselves about goals.
• What do successful people have in common?
• They know their goal, they know what they want to achieve.
• When we set our selves a goal to achieve, we need to make sure we state, or write it down in the positive.
• And, speak your goal out loud, congruently, our DNA responds to sound.
• So, an example of what I mean. Chanting internally: “I Will stop being angry with X or Y”, will inevitably lead to anger with X or Y. Because the brain has ‘heard’ the word anger, the brain will attempt to access that behaviour.
• So, the goal needs to be stated as something like: I really want to be understanding and supportive of X or Y.
By the way if anger is an issue for you or someone close to you my 40 day End Anger Course on CD’s and MP3 is about Ending anger, not controlling or managing anger, permanent resolution, Cures that Endure.
• Goal setting needs our attention, to nurture our emotions.
A simple goal might be: I want to lose weight.
• We need to check attentively with our emotions that the words we use are in harmony with every part of us.
So, someone for example who has sadly had a huge loss, maybe of a loved one, the word lose, as in lose weight could be deeply uncomfortable to say the least.
And part of the persona will emotionally resist the word lose, and the weight will not change, or may even get worse.
This is how important the words we use in goal setting are. In this example the words for this goal may need to be something like: I want to become slim, strong and healthy!
When our negative thoughts and negative beliefs are also ‘woven’ into emotional ‘pain’, hurt, suffering – please do Work with one of my 40 day courses. No matter the issue you are dealing with Judith all my 40 day courses will take you to a safe place and space where you can and will resolve, safely, your ‘pain’ And you do not need to know, or remember what caused your ‘pain’
I’m still Working on being a real Revolutionary!
Enjoy your ‘gold’
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

AFFIRMATIONS DON’T WORK!

July 23rd, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Hello:
Here I am again with Top Tips! Blimey…. Someone out there please help me out here with a more ‘educated’ or a funky phrase would be good!!!
But, first of all – the red squirrels are in Top Form! Through my window here I can see the old ‘trip trap’ bridge over the river Greta – in fact we’re kind of partly built into this wonderful old bridge.
(‘Trip Trap’ bridge from the folklore story The Three Billy Goats Gruff!)
So this morning, guess what, I looked up from typing, and there’s a red squirrel, on the bridge parapet which is practically attached to our window ledge, as plumped up with itself as you like looking straight in at me. Giving me a kind of what the ‘heck’ are you doing look!! How cool is that eye contact with a red squirrel!
Let’s talk about affirmations:
Positive affirmations are short statements designed to replace negative thoughts, with positive nurturing thoughts.
Affirmations as such do not work!
And loads of therapists use them in their therapy work. The Muppets! Which is an ironically affectionate, and yet weary, (of Muppetdom in therapy), term!
Positive affirmations are like ‘papering over the cracks’; the negative thoughts are still there, ‘the cracks’, and they, the negative thoughts will keep on reappearing.
Briefly here’s how affirmations go:
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to be really, really calm!” said times a hundred a day.
Objecting negative thought: “I can’t possibly be calm, I’m terrified!”
Positive affirmation: “I am brilliant!”
Objecting negative thought: “I’m not!!”
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to live on lettuce all week and lose my weight gain!” said times a hundred a day.
Objecting negative thought: “I can’t possibly do that – I’ll feel empty and lonely if I do that!”
The objections will win!
However, the secret is: The objection can and will be resolved once we give the ‘objection’ the exact right attention that the ‘objection’ needs. What I’ve just said is truly vitally important for our mind-body strength, vigour, vitality, stability………..
We’ve been talking together about achieving ‘get up and go’. If you’re ready, with some ‘get up and go’ let’s go and add something new and different now.
Set yourself a goal, now that you’ve got some ‘get up and go’.
I’ve talked about goal setting with you before.
Goal setting is vital, it’s like if we don’t know ‘where we’re going’ it’s unlikely we’ll ever get there! Even though we’ve now got some ‘get up and go’ to set off, we may not even set off – if we don’t plan where we’re going!
The mind needs to know where it’s ‘going’ therefore needs a goal. Even if you leave your home to go for a totally aimless ramble, your mind will need a goal like: “I’ll see something new around the corner.” “I’ll have an adventure….” “I want to just get away from it all for a while …..”
A small goal to begin with, a ‘first steps’ type goal.
A simple example, you may want more self esteem, or as dear Jonny on my video says: “Liking and respecting myself….”
Taking the ‘more self esteem’ as an example.
Take a ‘small step’ to begin with, rather than ‘I want self esteem enough to take on the world’, have a goal like: ‘I want self esteem to tell my boss, (daughter, neighbour….) that they are out of order when they keep putting me down’
Now, add to your goal not an affirmation as such but a truism.
When you listen to my metaphorical stories, like my free download, and all my stories on my CD and MP3 courses, you will find them loaded with truisms. These were one of Dr Milton Erickson consummate skills, in his extraordinary successes in resolving psychological and emotional problems for his patients.
By truisms I don’t mean simply an obvious statement, I mean a statement that the conscious mind and unconscious mind cannot object too, which in my Therapy provides a clear space for the unconscious to Work to resolutions.
Let’s take my examples of positive affirmations and turn them into truisms:
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to be really, really calm!”
Truism: “It is healthy and also nice to be calm.”
Positive affirmation: “I am brilliant!”
Truism: “Brilliance in life is enjoyable.”
Positive affirmation: “I’m going to live on lettuce all week and lose my weight.”
Truism: “Healthy food is really healthy”
Find your own truism which connects with your goal, what you want to achieve for your self. Repeat your truism to yourself morning and night, and every now and again during the day of course! Enjoy.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

TELESCOPE TIPS!

July 18th, 2012

 

Rapha Hypnosis

Top Tips!
Please email me your thoughts for a better more gracious or funky phrase!

It’s odd because in the last couple of years I’ve written around 60 to 70 pieces for journalists, for newspaper and magazine articles, and there was always a ‘hunger’ (so I was told) from their readers for Top Tips!
I think that rather odd or is that just me?

MY EIGHT TOP TIPS:
1. This one will amuse you, as it will look like a paradox to everything we’ve been considering together, to nurture your very own unique ‘get up and go’:
Take a twenty minute rest twice a day, in that very chair of yours!
But this is an ‘active’ break.
The activity will be your unconscious really working hard for you.
If you need the hard core scientific facts may I suggest you read about Dr Ernest Rossi work and the work of Professor Kleitmann on Ultradian Rhythms and the rest phases in the brain and mind. You can find them on-line.
2. To help you really benefit from your twenty minute rests, I have a gift for you.
It’s a free hypnotherapeutic story called ‘It’s a Breeze Let the New Blow In’ which you can download from here after filling in your e mail address.
By the way it’s a truly beautiful story. It lasts for; yeah you got it, twenty minutes! (Downoad time about one minute.)
My story enables your body to rest, your mind to become ‘quiet’ – to go beyond the ‘babble’ and allows your unconscious to search through your inner resources to find your ‘get up and go…’
I do know it is difficult to take a full twenty minute rest without the help of a story like mine, as, although our body will attempt to rest, the ‘babble’ in our minds so often precludes real rest.
I’m not being disrespectful to you here, we all have the ‘babbling’!

3. Just as you start to take your twenty minute rests, twice a day, (Rossi & Kleitmann’s research shows we actually need these rests every hour and a half!) tell your mind, firmly, I want more get up and go….. for “these” reasons, (State your own personal reasons, in the positive e.g. instead of stating: ‘I want to stop feeling debilitated’, state : ‘I want to feel bright’ – in your own words.)
4. As a few days go by you will notice some perhaps small differences and changes in your behaviour and what you achieve.
So to boost the changes for yourself, get a note book, and for a few more days, write down your ‘get up & go’ goal and your reasons for your ‘get up & go’ goal.
Again it is important to write your goals in the positive.
Here is an overview example, instead of writing: ‘The reason I want to feel bright is because I don’t want to live in this dark dingy, dodgy ‘inner’ place any more….’ Write: “The reason that I want feel bright is because I want to live in an ‘inner’ place full of light brightness, I want to feel full of life and I want to feel beauty.’
5. Hone your list of goals for these few days, take your time, enjoy it, believe in ‘Santa Claus’! As you write, be outrageous, include goals which you think could be impossible! Carry your list with you, in your pocket, in your bag; look at your list a couple of times a day!
6. Next, to really give your mind and brain a focus of positive energy on your list of goals – maybe do some drawings to represent each goal.
Find wonderful photographs to represent each goal, try and find a song or music to play or sing or hum or whistle to represent each of your goals.
Our minds, brains & bodies (which are 70% water,*) really respond to positive (and equally to negative) images and music and to us singing and humming.
*Water molecules respond positively to positive thoughts, sounds, images, and negatively to negative thoughts, sounds & images. It’s true, the research results are available on line but I’m not giving you a link because I want you to keep reading here!
7. If after a week or two you want even better results for your ‘get up and go…’ and we all want better results, including me, then ask yourself this question:
What is stopping me getting even better results in my thoughts and in my beliefs?
Ask this question in the few moments just before you begin your Ultradian Rest.
And then as you rest, listening to your downloaded story will help enormously.
Listen carefully to your inner dialogue responses to this question.

You may be ‘hearing’ thoughts and beliefs such as: “Why bother, you’re getting too old to bother to get up and go….”
Bingo!
This is not the truth.
None of your negative thoughts and beliefs will be the truth.
Choose to listen to only the truth.
8. So, straight away after your twenty minute rest, with this negative ‘stuff’ still fresh in your mind, which it isn’t actually fresh, it’s old, old stuff you’ve been carrying for years and it ‘stinks’, write the negative thoughts down. After you’ve written them down – you can of course see them.
Once we’ve finally seen something we can choose how we will change it.
You need to ‘see’ your negative beliefs yourself.
If you were to phone me, I’d be most happy to help you to see!
It’s a bit like this, if you sat in my room with me and I said:
“The wall behind you is a gorgeous warm, dusky pink!”
You’d believe me!
However to have the belief for yourself you need to turn around and see for yourself!
About your negative beliefs – basically, bottom line – you can choose to refuse to listen to such garbage again.
And with all your eight Top Tips (blimey I’ve said it again!!!) please enjoy this journey to you having abundant ‘get up and go………’

I don’t do ‘Fast Food Therapy’ – sorry but it doesn’t ‘nourish’ you!
Real ‘nourishment’, is all I am interested in, it creates lasting ‘growth’, flourishing results and real success.
So my Therapy Systems take some time – well worth it since your rewards are truly enduring and huge……
Thinking of you warmly
Sally
Cures that Endure

http://rapha-hypnosis.com
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

MIND TELESCOPE AVAILABLE:

July 16th, 2012

Scope out your mind!

We all want more self esteem, more confidence in our sense of self, more inner stability, no inner ‘clutter’, no ‘stinky stuff’ in our minds. We all want inner ‘clean spaces’ and more happiness… that includes me…. I don’t put a ceiling on it!
So what do you want?
Do you really want to stay there ‘in your chair?’ Do you really want the ‘same old, same old…’ It might look a bit different from day to day, but hey, isn’t that pretty much it, ‘same old, same old’.
Or, whoopee, do you want some life force surging through your veins, energy, ‘lust’ for life. Are you, like me, kind of outrageous, in a kindness to others way of course? Do you, like me, want to do something different! Discover and experience something different!
I personally want to be Revolutionary in a way that will end emotional and psychological suffering.
I want to bring happiness, cheerfulness, optimism and the “Whoopee!” times into peoples lives, including mine!
The “Whoopee!” can be, for me, as I relax into sleep at night the:
“Wow, I finally saw that Osprey I wanted to see today – Good Night everyone”
Or, “Cool, I went for a walk and I smiled at a person and they told me their troubles and then they smiled too… How good is that….”
Or, “I think, when I sat by the river today, I got some really fresh thoughts …..I’ll sleep happily on that, and let those ideas grow….Sweet dreams everyone.”
Let’s ask three questions here:
1. What’s stopping us having the energy to do something different?
2. What’s the point in doing something different, our ‘chair’ is comfortable, what’s the point in moving? (We all need really good reasons to do something different and get up and go).
3. Once we decide to have the energy to get up and go – how are we going to get ‘it’?
Well, the ‘how’ will be my top tips and we’ll come to those later; but we need to answer 1 & 2 first.
So, OK what’s stopping us having the ‘get up and go’?
We are!
I honestly know that we’ve been brought up in a ‘blame’ culture. We ‘blame’ loads of stuff in the world for our lack of action: The weather! The government! Our parents!
But the choice is absolutely ours, the choice is to discover how to change our thinking and heal our feelings and emotional wounds and confidently do something different.
Last summer we attended a presentation given by Simon Woodroffe, he was thoroughly charismatic and loaded with ‘get up and go’.
He said; “Behind your face there’s a whole world, and a lot of it is cluttered…’”(I am maybe para phrasing a tad.)
Simon’s remarks made me think of this quote from Coleridge’s notebooks. I had the audacity to use it at the beginning of my book which I’m about to send to the publishers (another Whoopee!):
“He looked at his own Soul
with a Telescope. What seemed
all irregular, he saw and
shewed to be beautiful
Constellations: and he added
to the Consciousness hidden
worlds within worlds.”
This quote is so brilliant, Coleridge’s ‘irregular’ I relate to Simon’s ‘cluttered’.
How cool to have a ‘telescope’, with which to look into our inner worlds..
My tips are a ‘Mind Telescope’. They enable us to comfortably and safely look into our ‘inner worlds within worlds’, and once we get the view, we can then resolve the ‘irregularities’ or clutter.
We can change our habituated thought patterns and beliefs, those that do not support us or celebrate our life.
That’s the ‘clutter’, and that’s what literally drains us of our energy and vitality.
I’ll just repeat this, it’s worth it: What drains us of our energy, what stops us having that confident ‘get up and go’ even for a stroll, or a ‘whoopee’ time, is how we are thinking and what we are believing about our self and our life’s potential.
Invalidating our own thoughts and beliefs affects how we feel, and drains us of vital energy.
The great news is, we can change those thoughts and beliefs.
We used to think they were ‘hard wired’, irreversible.
This is not the truth! We can change them!
The awkward part of making the changes, apart from us needing to have really good reason’s and purpose to change, is that these types of thoughts and beliefs are unconscious; we often do not consciously know we have them. So, my tips will enable you to explore your ‘hidden worlds within worlds’ of your unconscious and discover what you need.
Next, why should we be bothered to do something different, after all, our ‘chair’ is comfortable enough for us to just stay put! And yes, we have our reasons, like: It will do me good to go and look for the Osprey, get some fresh air! But, the huge reason to get up and go – is, when we get mental stimulation, we literally grow our own brain.
You may have heard of neurogenisis, I wrote about it a couple of months ago. Neurogenisis is the growth and formation of new nerve, or brain cells.
Research in current neuroscience indicates, contrary to 100 years of dogma, that our human brain is capable of generating new brain cells throughout our life cycle.
One of my teachers, the eminently brilliant Dr Ernest Rossi states: “The psychological precedes the physical. The mind drives the body, which drives the genome.”
There are three activities or behaviours which are key to connecting psychological experiences that optimise gene expression, neurogenesis, and healing.
These three activities or behaviours are what we need to incorporate into our every day life so that we can keep on growing our brain (neurogenisis).
1. Novelty: experience something novel, fascinating or new in your every day life.
2. Environmental enrichment. Enrich your environment; you’ll know how to do this. (You might have read that I believe Mike would love to have his motor bike in our living room, which would really enrich the environment for him!) But maybe a new picture would be more appropriate for you?
3. Physical exercise: you don’t need to be an athlete! The wondrous Dr Milton Erickson, who is considered to be the grand father of Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy, was wheel chair bound in his later years due to a recurrence of polio. Dr Erickson exercised by preparing the families vegetables every evening.
So, do we now have good enough reason’s to ‘get up and go….’ Which includes – Top Reason – we will grow our own brain!
And third question, now that we know that what’s stopping us is ….us! Not the weather, not the government, not our parents – and we have our Top Reason!: How are we going to get out of our ‘chair’?
I’ve got eight top tips for you to use your ‘Mind-scope’!
Actually, I honestly hate the phrase ‘Top Tips’! Its so media type speak. If you’ve got a better phrase for me – please let me know.
I hope you’ll take some time in the next couple of days to consider the immeasurable value to us of how we can stimulate neurogenesis, and grow our own brains! How awesome is that…….
Have a look at my 30 mins a day for 40 days course on Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence.
Or listen to a short excerpt from the course.
Mind Scope tips coming soon.

Thinking of you warmly

Sally

TALKING ABOUT BLACK DOG?

July 11th, 2012

So, I woke up today – bright and cheerful – and also sad for those of us who are not consistently cheerful and optimistic, which ‘believe it or not’ is our natural state to be in.
So I thought that the ‘black dog’ is a worthy subject for us to consider…….
Depression, a term coined by Adolf Meyer, has been considered an inadequate name.
William Styron in his account of his depression, Darkness Visible, wrote: “’Melancholia’ would still be far more apt and evocative a word for the blacker forms of the disorder, but it was usurped by a noun with a bland formality lacking any magisterial presence.”
American author Susan Sontag was more succinct: “Depression is melancholy minus its charms…”
Churchill named his own depression – ‘black dog’. He was not the first or last to use ‘black dog’ to describe depression. While the term has survived Churchill, its origins remain obscured in the history of the English language.
Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames, said of her father’s depression:
“A lot has been made of the depressive side of his character by psychiatrists who were never in the same room with him. He himself talks of his ‘black dog’, and he did have times of great depression, but marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the ‘black dog’.”
Whatever our personal opinion may be on Churchill’s achievements, he certainly did achieve, even though chronically haunted by his ‘black dog’.
I say: “We need to celebrate how well those of us suffering depression do function, and do achieve.”
I have worked as a clinical hypnotherapist and licensed psychotherapist for many years with young people suffering with depression. I have total respect for their inner strengths to cope. The psychological and emotional ‘worlds’ of depression which they have, not out of any conscious choice, entered, do not relate in anyway to the ‘worlds’ of day to day life. And so it takes massive energy for the sufferer to even attempt to relate to life.
Depression is often compounded with anxiety, such as shame, fear of the weakness to be able to change; (“Pull your self up with your boot laces!” Which actually defies physics, we can’t!) Guilt about having ‘mental illness’ and maybe guilt about how the illness affects others; family and friends.
We know the unbearable tragic statistics: around one million people in the world commit suicide each year; one in five of us, say the World Health Organisation, will suffer a ‘’mental illness’.
Medication helps temporarily; it helps to get a flow of energy, specifically serotonin. But, it does not cure. For thirty years my focus has been on cure rather than management or control.
As Churchill’s daughter said; “… marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog”.
However, I see that the ‘black dog’ is still looming, a dark presence in the back yard kennel, sadly ever ready to pounce!
How can we bring a cure?
As I truly do not want to lose you here, I repeat, I have total respect for the suffering of depression. I too suffered, in the early 1980’s; my life was not worth living.
I had a brilliant Therapist, David Grove!
I’ve had no recurrence of ‘depression’, the ‘black dog’ was set free, but that’s a whole story in itself, as the ‘black dog’ is a wounded part of our ‘Me’.
Sure, I have had challenges, and sadness and loss, and I’ve discovered solutions to challenges and moved on, and I’ve grieved and moved on from my loss.
The next part of my discussion with you is largely based on my successful Work as a therapist plus my experience and rigourous study:
Anxiety and depression can become compounded into an undifferentiated mass of psychological and emotional information, leading us to experience the unsolvable horrific cycle of: “The same damned thing over and over again….”
My Work differentiates out the anxiety, and brings resolution to the fears and shame; we can then give full attention to the depression.
Depression will have its antecedents in our early formative years, in our learnt beliefs, trauma or crisis. We may or may not know what triggers the depression later, in our teens or young adult life. It’s not always necessary to know or have the insights about what triggered it.
In our early years we unconsciously, as a psychological protective mechanism, freeze moments in time. The unconscious stops time, right on the edge of trauma or crisis in an attempt to stop the next moments becoming worse: For example: I am age 5, this important adult is yelling at me….I unconsciously stop time whilst they are yelling at me in case they start beating me……
These ‘frozen moments’ of ‘the yelling’ play on and on deep within our mind for a year or twenty years until something in our environment triggers the feelings of fear, sadness, helplessness, not necessarily the memories of, in this example, a yelling adult.
We may not even have noticed the trigger, for example: The newspaper seller shouting the news on the street had the same tone and delivery of voice as the yelling adult…..
We walked on by and suddenly we felt low or fearful.
These trigger encounters will connect deeply and significantly with our younger experience. Because, the part of us frozen in time never grew on in time and deeply continues to feel the ‘pain’ of those moments.
My work safely enters these frozen moments in time and brings resolution to the experiences, freeing the part of us who became ‘stuck’ enabling time to move on.
More about black dog depression and support at Blackdog Tribe.com
Thank you for listening.
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

FOOD FOR THOUGHT!

July 9th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Well, one of the four basic things that you and I have in common and that you and I absolutely need are: air, water, food and we also need emotional stability.
Emotional stability we can talk about for a long, long time. So today let’s talk about food!
I love food – ain’t food great! I also have a really great relationship with food, and with my body, maintaining a stable happy weight for me for nearly thirty years.

HOW IS THE PROPENSITY TO EATING ‘BAD’ FOOD PSYCHOLOGICAL?
We can go to the gym, we sweat, we’re full on motivated during our workout, determined to burn off some the fat. Then, after all this effort and feeling virtuous, we head home and eat every biscuit in sight! Reward! Biscuits were a reward for many of us in childhood!
We are worried, stressed or upset so we grab several bars of chocolate. We do this because when we were a child and fretful we were likely to be comforted by our parents with something sweet. We believe sweet stuff gives us comfort!
Neuro science tells us that our brains are genetically hard wired to seek emotional security, particularly from affection. As very young infants, one of the important times, for some of us, that we received affection or closeness was when our mother, or father, grandparent held us close and fed us. So, for some, our minds will carry the connection between food and affection or love. Emotional stability!
Our minds and brains store our perceptions and our responses, and so we learn from those early years to associate reward and comfort and emotional closeness with these types of food. These early life patterns of behaviour prevail.
Because of this, it takes psychological and emotional effort to defy our fat and sugar cravings.
As we are growing up through childhood, teens and into adulthood, and we are dealing with worries and problems we discover that fatty foods have a heavy quality to them, after eating these types of foods we feel sluggish and drowsy for a while, and we stop thinking. When we stop thinking we stop worrying and stressing. As a result we learn to believe that fatty foods will ease our worries!
CAN OTHER FACTORS COME INTO IT AS WELL?
Fat has more than twice the calories than any other nutrient. Calories are units of energy, and nature does not like skinny, nature sees fat as a friend!
Why?
If we briefly consider our history; several million years ago we humans had small brains, about the size of a chimpanzees. As we developed our skills our brains grew, and our stomachs shrank, but we still needed los of energy (calories) to run, we were hunters. Where did we get our energy to run? From fat.
Research has shown us that Aboriginal hunters eat the fat from the kill first. In our modern society we no longer need to run to live and survive, but nature is still keen on fat.
We can also consider that so many of us can feel stressed in our modern fast paced lives.
Fatty foods stimulate dopamine and nor-adrenalin, this chemical cocktail gives us the feeling of a ‘happy rush’, and we use this feeling as an unsuccessful attempt to resolve our stress.
Now we can find ourselves in a vicious cycle, the greater amounts of fat we eat the more our brain will produce a protein called galanin. What happens next? We’ve really got a problem, because galanin cause us to crave fat.
Sugar increases tryptophan which our body uses to make serotonin. Serotonin is the wonderful chemical which assists us to feel (temporarily!) in an ‘up’ state, more able to cope with stress and unhappiness.
Also, when we are experiencing long periods of stress in life we are producing a massive amount of unused adrenaline; we can then go into adrenal fatigue. This fatigue causes a sugar craving.
HOW CAN WE OVERCOME THIS?
We can realise what a fantastic job our ancient ancestors did for us, they got the energy they needed from fats, they ran, they survived. We are here today because of it, how great is that.
We can understand that the sculptor of our brain and mind is our environment. Our brain and mind depend critically on their wiring and growth from our experiences in our earlier life. The great news is, our brain and mind have the remarkable ability to adapt and to rewire.
How do we do this?
We can know that the fundamental truth about stress is that it comes from our personal perceptions, and our internal communication about an event or situation and our experience. We can choose to change both our perceptions and our internal communication.
I’ll give you a very simple example of what I’m talking about.
Our partner is late getting home. We can have a myriad of perceptions such as:
They are working hard and being really conscientious and loyal to their business.
We communicate internally with a dialogue of pride and make everything cosy and welcoming for them to arrive home.
Or: They have been in an accident. Our internal communications can cripple us with horror and dread. We make images of them lying in a pool of blood. We don’t know what to do, maybe phone their work – phone the hospitals.
Or: They are having an affair. Our internal communication makes those sexy images; we are frozen with fury, or slumped with loss and abandonment.

TIPS TO STOP WORRYING OR STRESSING:
• First we need to really consider and accept that the ‘happy rush’ we’ve been getting from these ‘bad’ foods is temporary and will never resolve our problems. Next:
• Make a decision to change your perceptions, the ones that are not serving you or celebrating your life.
• Start by slowing time in your mind just a little, you can do this by simply telling yourself: Slow down. This is so that you can observe your own unconscious perceptions of any situation that has been worrying or stressing you. Just be observant to begin with.
• Have a note book and write down a list of your worries or stresses. This is relevent because we can often begin to feel overwhelmed by worry, as if we have thousands of worries. Once we begin to separate them out, we usually discover we have only three or six or seven.
• If you have more than one worry, take each at a time separately and begin to objectively ask: what can I do about this ‘one’? And when you go to bed at night ask your dreams to comfortably give you solutions to this ‘one’. One of the main purposes of our dreams is to give us solutions that we have not even thought of before.
My dream is that we will all live happily in our own skin. And I know we can! Let’s get on with it hey. If you know someone who is struggling in their relationship with food please, please tell them about my course/treatment on CD’s and MP 3 download: Don’t Wait to Be the Right Weight
I never once use the word ‘diet’ on my course. I hope I have illustrated today why diets do not work!
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

OF COURSE!

July 6th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

What you don’t want is ‘symptom replacement’.

Woke up this morning wondering, what I would be talking with you about today! Because, waking up is ‘of course’ the time, or one of the times, for us all to be inspired. As we are waking from sleep our conscious mind is still in touch with the wisdom of our unconscious mind.
Our unconscious, working for us through the night, giving us our dreams, our own kind of alchemy, working for us to assist us in discovering solutions to change our problems into ‘gold’ – and also giving us all gems of ideas…….
And, Bingo! This morning – as I was waking, I knew what to talk with you about today…..my courses! Of course!
For years and years I was Working to put my courses together, to get them right, to ensure that they will make profound shifts needed for individuals to move out of a problem state, which cause great effort and hardship, and into a Goal state – of peace, happiness, strength….. inner stability and inner certainty.
By the year 2000, when we were working and living in Singapore – my courses finally began to come together.
Writing them, I entered a world rigourous in linguistic discipline, because the Work in my courses needs to speak with you as an individual.
Needs to speak with the uniqueness and individuality of thousands – a million people.
The Work in my courses needs to ‘build a bridge’ for you to enter ‘with one foot’ your problem ‘world’ – to discover your own unique solutions and resolutions and then to move fully and finally out of your problem ‘world’ and into your goal ‘world’ of permanent successful results.
Also I entered a world rigorous in linguistic discipline because, strange as it may seem, the innovations* of my language in my courses do not attempt to lead or mislead you away from your own information. Also, that no solution from me is imported, but there is clean elegant guidance for you to find your own solutions. And it ensures that there is no interpretation of symptoms or why they existed.
And I also entered a world rigorous in linguistic discipline to absolutely ensure that in my courses there would be no suggestion to remove a symptom.
Why would I ensure my courses would never suggest symptom removal?
That’s the whole idea right?
Wrong!
Because simplistically, when we remove the symptom through suggestion, 99% of the time we will experience a symptom replacement!
* Meaning: the act or process of inventing or introducing something that does not belong to your inner ‘world’.
Let us consider a simple example of what I mean by symptom replacement.
I have heard, what I’m about to illustrate, from so called therapists with audio CD’s available, over and over and over – and it makes me fume!
Let’s take an over weight symptom for example:
The therapist states in a low monotonous voice:
“You will relax… you are so relaxed ……you will eat less and less…..you will feel comfortable…. you will lose weight”………… This mumbo jumbo is suggesting removal of the symptom, basically over eating.
Only a very small percentage of people who over eat who are doing this by pure habit. The larger percentage of over weight people have eating difficulties which are driven by an unconscious problem.
The problem is individual but generally speaking will be something like: feeling ‘Empty’ – feeling lonely – feeling useless – feeling a failure – feeling unacceptable….. needing ‘comfort’…… we could go on and on………
A therapist saying: “Relax; stop eating so much…….” is focused on removing the symptom – not resolving the problem.
The problem – feeling ‘Empty’ – lonely – useless – a failure – unaccepted……….. needs resolution.
If this kind of suggestion does remove the symptom of over eating – because the problem is still there – the problem will replace the old symptom of over eating with a new one, let’s say – anger, nervousness, anxiety….
The problem is saying: Attend to ‘me’ resolve my emptiness, my feeling lonely, my feeling useless, my feeling a failure…….
So that is just one of the reasons why my courses are different, requiring your time and effort, 30 minutes a day for 40 days – because they bring about the permanent resolution of your problem.
We offer a money back guarantee!
Do have a look at more information why my courses are 30 minutes a day for 40 days – it’s a great consideration that the mind can bring about permanent resolution in 40 days……..
Thinking of you warmly

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

Sally

please contact me in confidence –  Sally@sally-stubbs.com

EPISTEMOLOGICAL EXERCISE?

July 3rd, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Hi Everyone
As our Dear David Groves used to say after every lecture and as we filed out the class room – to go get our coffee and cakes!!: “Metaphors Be with You…..” in his best Star Trekky voice!!!
I ‘took’ to David’s Work like the proverbial ‘Duck to water’ – which I can verify as each spring time, this year, every year, that we’ve been lucky to live by ‘our’ river, we watch, with soppy type sentimental grins on our faces, the teeny weeny fluffy baby ducklings take to the water of the River Greta flowing merrily past our back door.
I mean we’ve heard a rumour that Greta is one of the fastest flowing rivers in the UK – some may dispute the rumour! But hey, the water is fast and there are these little groups of minute ducklings confidently making their way in the full force……. Awesome!
It was, is, like that for me with Metaphors and David’s genius Work. Awesome!
Sometimes our conscious mind wants to make sense of the Epistemological Metaphors.
So let’s just remember for a few moments Stella. She did not say she wanted her skin to be clear of Psoriasis – (which did happen within a few weeks of her Work with me….) she said she wanted to stop feeling almost utterly helpless and she wanted to feel strong.
Epistemology did this for her! This is what is awesome for us to reflect upon. We as unique individuals know how we know the truth of our own thoughts and feelings of an experience, and therefore we as individuals know how to discover the solutions and resolutions to our psychological and emotional problems.
Epistemology is the branch of philosophy that serves to answer the question: How do you know what you know?
I asked Stella: “And when you don’t feel strong and you feel almost utterly helpless, how do you know you don’t feel strong and you feel almost utterly helpless?
Stella’s unique knowing was like a heavy feeling in the whole of her chest, and from her knowing, with clean language, we developed the metaphor of a bee, and her 13 year old self, trapped in a heavy metal cage, from which there was a glimpse of some lovely hills in the distance.
Let’s just briefly consider the wonder of Stella’s Epistemological Metaphors.
The ‘bee’ showed her the way to her freedom to – BE – herself, to ‘move on and journey’ through her life to BE – OK – to know where to go, with strength and loveliness to ‘weather the storms’ (the lovely hills!) Awesome isn’t it!!!
My audio treatments/courses Work with generalised metaphors – in such a way as every unique individual mind will respond with the metaphors of the stories that I’ve written and recorded for you, in the right way for each persons needs. And that’s awesome too!!!
Here is something that you can do to gain your own WOW moments of how you know what you know, safely.
Ask the Epistemological question!!
Don’t ask the Epistemological question of your own needs, for now; ask the question of a few friends or family. Make it a simple question, your friend or family member will feel comfortable I promise.
Ask of four different people: (start with the word And*, only if YOU feel comfortable): “And, when you feel unhappy, how do you know that you feel unhappy?”
If you feel that asking this particular question is too invasive of your friends privacy – then simply, instead of asking: How do you know that you feel UNHAPPY – Ask: “How do you know that you feel HAPPY when you feel HAPPY?”
You will receive as many entirely different answers as the entirely different number of people you ask the question…..
And this is why Therapy cannot have suppositions, presuppositions, analysis and so on……….. about any individual’s problem.

• *“And” is a Clean Language conduit. It provides a natural bridge between the question and where the person’s information is sourced.
• “And” also allows two experiences to co-exist. (e.g. I loved my mum AND I hated the way she … )
Oh and please do let me know what you think about our new site www.rapha-hypnosis.com you will be most welcomed. Thank you

Thinking of you warmly
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

THE GREATEST COMEDIAN OF HIS ERA?

June 27th, 2012

Sally

Sometimes I really enjoy having a good laugh by re running a sketch or two, of Bill Hicks in my minds eye.
Bill was a comedian who you’ll either love or find him shocking. I’m in the first group!!
Anyway there’s this sketch of Bill’s where Bill is being God, and God has just realised that when He created Earth he forgot that He’d left behind Marijuana!
God, played by Bill, scratching in head, stroking his beard, is looking down on Earth at the Marijuana declaring, at His ‘mistake’: “Oh My Me!!!!….” Love it!!!! (The sketch you understand….)
Well, as I was happily re running this particular sketch in my mind, I had this awesome thought!:
Everyone, who I can think of, who has come to me to Work 1: 1 – will have been searching for their ‘lost’ ‘Me’ (Please excuse my semantics. Thanks)
I won’t make a whole list of hundred and hundreds of the amazing people who have brought their problems and symptoms to me, and who have actually honoured me in allowing me to assist them to Resolve their problem.
But, we can just consider a few of the people, who I have mentioned in the past weeks. Laura who lost her voice and lost her hair – was actually searching for her ‘lost Me’ – Stella, Bernice – the same – all had ‘lost’ their sense of their ‘Intended Me’
If you have any questions about this, or actually about anything else, please do email me. sally@sally-stubbs.com
This is my private email address and is therefore confidential. If I ever want to share anything that is said to me I will always ask permission first. And, most importantly, if the answer is: ‘“No” I do not want to share’ – then any ones’ “No” is totally honoured…..
Choosing to Work with me on one of my Audio Treatment Courses – you will discover that you are safely and comfortably searching to find an aspect of your Me, ‘who’ got ‘lost’ and ‘stuck’ along the way of your life’s journey.
Examples would be:
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who used to be able to naturally say “No” to certain foods and amounts of food……
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who could confidently do most anything….
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who who used to be able to be certain and strong no matter the situation…….
The aspect of Me who ‘got lost’ who who used to be able to sleep safely and comfortably…….
And so on……….
My Audio Treatment Courses assist the ‘finding’ and the ‘freeing’ of the ‘lost’ Me – who can do pretty much anything that you choose.
I think to stay off my ‘soap box’ here!! About a very well know UK Hypnotherapist who recently emailed us with a video of EFT – Emotional Freedom Therapy – Tapping.
A young man phobic of travelling: Tapping happened, the young man said he felt better – but his words were not congruent with the look in his eyes.
Aspects of our ‘lost’ Me is Emotional and Psychological, our mind needs to know we have ‘found’ and ‘freed’ our ‘lost’ Me…… Tapping will never, ever achieve this long term……. But, I won’t go there today!
Today I said I would talk with you more about “Why?” questions, which I am about to do.
First, I just want to tell you about a young man, he emailed me a few days ago and asked me a Great question.
He asked me if one had to know what the “T Minus One” issue was in life to be able to Work successfully with my Audio Treatment Courses.
The answer is emphatically: – No you don’t!
It is a bit like this, as a metaphor:
Let’s imagine a kid has got lost. We go searching for the lost kid and we find them, hiding under the bed, or hiding in the garden. We would probably want to ask: “What happened? What happened that you made you go hiding and got you lost?”
But with my Audio Treatment Courses we do not have to ask this “What happened?” question. We find the kid and we rejoice and we say something like Thank Goodness……you are ‘found’ and you are safe to come home…….
We do not need to know what happened…..
And basically the “Why?” questions are attempting to go to the: What happened? We don’t always know what happened; we certainly don’t have to know the answer to cure a problem.
The finding and freeing of the aspect of our ‘lost’ Me is the huge part of Cure.
The next part of the Cure is that our conscious self learns from – is educated by – the ‘lost’ aspect of our Me to say “No!” – To be confident no matter what –To know the ability to be certain and strong…… and so on………
We can talk loads more about the “Why?” questions another time…….
More details about my therapy techniques here
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com

STELLA’S HAPPY ENDING:)

June 25th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

80% of Stella’s body was covered with achingly angry psoriasis. Stella shyly took off her rigidly tailored grey blouse and grey trousers – she said she needed me to see……
The psoriasis had steadily worsened over the past 10 years since her husband had a stroke from which medically it was thought he may not walk again or regain full speech.
When Stella first came to Work with me she told me that she felt almost utterly helpless.
In answer to my first question: And what do you want to achieve? Stella did not say she wanted healthy skin, she said that wanted to stop feeling almost utterly helpless, and she wanted to feel strong.
I asked: And when you don’t feel strong and you feel almost utterly helpless, how do you know you don’t feel strong?
Stella answered that she felt utterly helpless like a heavy feeling in the whole of her chest.
Question: And when you feel it in the whole of your chest, and it’s heavy, what else is there about it in the whole of your chest when it’s heavy?
Stella’s story developed from this feeling.
The whole of her chest felt like it was dark.
I continued with clean language questions to develop the experience of heavy and dark in the whole of her chest. She said heavy and dark was shaped like a cube, like a cage, made of solid black bars of iron.
To my next question; and what else could there be about a solid dark cage made of black bars of iron Stella answered: “There is a bee trapped in the cage… The bee is floundering. I am trapped in the cage. I can see a glimpse of some lovely hills in the distance…….”
The younger part of Stella ‘trapped’ in a ‘cage’ was aged thirteen.
The summer of her thirteenth year Stella and her mother had gone to a local tennis match, a favourite sport of theirs to watch together. Her mother had been a semi invalid for as long as Stella could remember, she made her way about in an electrically operated wheel chair.
Stella, with her mother beside her in the wheelchair, had been thoroughly absorbed in the close run tennis match; she cheered along with the small crowd and gasped as the scores were rivetingly close, when suddenly her mother slumped sideways.
There was a massive flurry of activity as an ambulance was called for, but tragically Stella’s mother had died.
A neighbour took Stella home, and very soon her father arrived to find Stella crying.
He told his young daughter that she must stop crying, and that everything was going to be OK.
The death of her mother was tragic, but the split, the trauma for Stella occurred when her father had told her to stop crying and that everything was going to be OK.*
At this moment of realisation in our Work together, Stella wanted to pause and consider. She said that ever since she had been thirteen, any difficulty she’d had, from exam nerves at school to even being scared of travelling, to her having seen a therapist a number of years ago for her lack of self confidence had been blamed, by herself and others, on her mother’s death.
Stella paused; she had a ‘light bulb’ moment, an Epiphanic experience. Although of course her mother’s death was tragic, Stella was prepared for it. Her father’s restricting injunction had trapped her, stuck in that moment in time of everything is going to be OK. So nothing ever reached a place, a state of: Everything is OK,.
OK was always going to be in the future, Stella had been helpless, never able to know and feel OK.
OK could never be in the present.

* (This was a totally understandable response from a bereaved husband and a concerned parent)
Interpretations of events can persuade both client and therapist away from the true focus of traumatic experiences.
To illustrate how important it is to keep on asking the clean language questions.
Stella needed to know that the bee was there, I will go into this reason in a moment; Stella also needed to know that she could: “….see a glimpse of some lovely hills in the distance.”
In terms of the: “…lovely hills in the distance…” basically, when we are in a place where we can bring about a ‘movement’ towards something different, and out of the ‘stuck’ state we need to know where we are going to.
Or we may not move, as we can fear that ‘freedom’ from the prison we’ve been in could be even worse than the ‘prison’ we’ve got to know and have learnt to adapt to its confines.
And where we are going to, must always be the client’s solution, not the therapists.
Stella arrived early for our third session; she wasn’t quite as neat and elegant as when we first met!
I asked her: “How are you doing?”
She answered she was: “Doing better. Stronger”
I asked: “And, how do you know you’re doing better and stronger?”
Stella replied that she felt some freedom.
Q: “And what kind of freedom is that freedom, that’s some freedom?”
Stella answered: “The doors to the cage have opened, it’s brighter and lighter and I want to move……”
This is an important moment of intervention, the question needs to be:
And when it’s brighter and lighter and you want to move, can you move?”
Stella answered: “No, something needs to happen first.”
Q: “And when something needs to happen first, what kind of something could that something be?”
Stella took some time, and then answered: “The bee needs to show me the way.”
The bee could and did show her the way to move. And the way was to the hills.
The journey and the movement to the hills took another hour or so, time to address and compound all elements needed to form new knowledge and information and to know it is OK to be OK now.
Stella’s skin cleared completely within a few weeks and two years later there has been no recurrence.
Her clothes now have movement and vibrancy! Way to go Stella!
I am so happy to say that her husband did recover his use of language and his ability to walk.

If you need help please do not hesitate to contact me through my private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com or

Much more information about my CD & MP3 audio treatments are on www.rapha-hypnosis.com
http://www.rapha-hypnosis.com/Contact.htm

Thinking of you warmly,
 Sally

 

HAPPY IN YOUR OWN SKIN?

June 22nd, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Stella, an elegant, neatly dressed, quiet, gentle woman, in her early fifties came to Work with me to resolve her symptom of Psoriasis. She had endured this skin condition on and off since she was a teenager. However, for the past ten years, since her husband had suffered a severe stroke, from which medically it had been thought he would not recover either his ability to walk or his use of language, Stella’s psoriasis had been continuous, with rare remissions, and had worsened over the years.
At our first session of hypnotherapy Work Stella, hesitantly took off her formal grey blouse and grey tailored trousers, she shyly said she wanted me to see the extent to which her body: back, legs, chest and arms, was covered, around 80%, with red, flaky sore skin.
My heart is always totally with anyone who I am privileged to Work with, and assist to a place of full aliveness, and positive health, but my heart went out to Stella at the sight of her pain showing itself on her body. Although in her every day life the psoriasis was hidden, (there was none on her face, neck or hands,) Stella told me that she felt increasingly embarrassed, frustrated and helpless.
Whenever I Work with anyone, whatever difficulty the person presents is referred to as a symptom.
I consider that the symptom has the solution; the symptom is a sign-post to the problem.
In my hypnotherapy Work, we communicate in the language of the unconscious, we create a safe space to enable the symptom to tell ‘it’s’ story in the way it wants and needs to lead to the right resolutions for my client.
My hypnotherapy Work can therefore seem contradictory to how we have learnt to think, in that we predominantly put effort into getting rid of symptoms.
My Work is respectful of the symptom, enabling the symptom to tell its story which will then provide the information for change, solutions, resolution, inner healing and cure.

More about psoriasis:
Medically the exact causes of psoriasis are not known. It is considered to be a disruption of the auto immune system. Sudden stressful events or continuous daily stress can trigger psoriasis flares.
Stella had been prescribed topical steroid (cream), which damp down immune cell activity through immunosuppressive properties. She wasn’t getting any results and as she did not like the idea of steroids she stopped using the cream.
In a normally functioning immune system white blood cells will produce antibodies to combat foreign invaders such as bacteria and viruses. But with psoriasis, white blood cells called T cells become overactive. These T cells ‘attack’ the skin which sets off a series of events that make the skin cells multiply so fast that they stack up on the surface of the skin.
I always have in the back of mind that symptoms which manifest physically are trying to tell us something about the problem. I never impose this on my client, but keep it as a consideration. So, for example symptoms such as psoriasis and hay fever, because the immune system has been compromised, are maybe letting us know that the person suffering with these has experienced some kind of emotional, psychological or spiritual ‘attack’.

The hypnotherapy language that I use is called Clean Language, which is a series of ‘clean’ questions. Clean Language is the work of my late, great teacher and mentor David Grove and his wife and partner Cei Davies.
It is known as ‘Clean Language’ because it never imports information into a person’s unconscious ‘landscape’, such as analysis or interpretation, assumptions or presuppositions, suggestions or advice, from the therapist.
A brief recap on Clean Language:
• Is the means by which epistemological metaphors are developed. A metaphor is a container of information and epistemology is how an individual uniquely knows, internally, their own unique experience.
• Client one: Q: And, when you’re depressed how do you know you’re depressed? A: I feel heavy in my heart.
• Client two: Q: And when you’re depressed how do you know you’re depressed? A: It’s like I’m in a very dark place…….
• The: heavy in the heart, (Client One) and: The very dark place (Client Two) will contain the unique to the individual, information, to lead to solutions, resolutions and healing.
• It accesses primary processing language such as metaphors, symbols, sounds such as sighing, groaning and movements such as trembling.
• It is the language of the intelligence of the original meaning of an experience.
I promise you it will be so valuable for you to ask yourself this question: How do you know? This question will move you on to ‘light bulb’ information, whereas our usual “Why?” question does not move us on with the answers we get.

Also next time I’d like to tell you the rest of Stella’s Story.
If you’re not amazed I will ‘eat my hat’ which I have not had to do – yet!
You see, if we all consider that Stella cured her psoriasis,  then we can cure our weight, our sleeplessness, our stress, our relationship difficulty, our nervousness………

You’ll be most welcome to have a check on how www.rapha-hypnosis.com is progressing and please do let us have your feed back.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

KIND HEARTS & CORONETS:

June 20th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Do you perhaps remember me talking about the lady with the kind heart, Bernice, from the Sowf* of England, (*as we Norferners affectionately say!!) who is aged 68. She Worked intensely with me one to one for a week.
After our last Session she leant towards me and said: “You are the most intelligent person I’ve ever met…” I was pleased and said: “Thank you” But she was intent on getting her message thru’ to me so she smiled, like I was a kid who wasn’t really listening to her and said: “I mean you are thee most intelligent person I’ve ever met!” And her words then fully ‘entered’ me.
This is a whole subject for us for another time:
Where do the ‘emotional’ words that people say to us go to?
As always I have a million thanks to Bernice, and anyone who I Work with face to face or on my audio courses, because I learn and learn and learn from you all.
Ain’t that Grand, to learn more and more that is important and new and different and ‘healing’ and successful, every day?
What did Bernice teach me? She reinforced this: My Work cures problems. Does my Work need reinforcement? Constantly it does, so that I can and will continue to improve it, as did David Grove. As does Dr Rossi and many others……..
Here’s a little of Bernice’s story.
She had an awful childhood, and then she suffered horrific emotional violence during her marriage, there was hardly any of her self left when she came to me.
All her life she had been told what to do, made to be what others wanted from her and wanted her to be.
Since she had finally found outstanding strength, 15 years ago, to end her marriage and walk away, Bernice had seen lots of different therapists to try and get resolutions to her inner pain. She had even travelled to other countries in search of a therapist to assist her to her resolutions. I am, as always, awed by the strength of Bernice to make such effort.
But, every therapist she saw, told her what she should do, and what she ought to do. The Muppets!
Surely even those amongst us who are traditional therapists, the therapists who believe in diagnosis, who believe in suggestions, and giving analysis, and giving advice, who believe that problems are resolved by telling people what they should and shouldn’t do – would at least have heard Bernice’s cry: “I’m sick that for, my entire life, I’ve been told what I should and shouldn’t do!”
Oh yeah, a vital point to add to this ‘flow’ from me, Bernice had told the many therapists that she was really angry with the ex-husband for his cruelty, and the therapists, all of them, had told her she should not be angry, she should forgive!
An aspect of the amazing skill of my Work is; my Work never tells someone what to do, there are no shoulds or shouldn’ts, nor does my Work give advice or suggestion. This may well sound weird to you! Like I do nothing! When in fact I’m working my ‘butt off’ with and for everyone I Work with.
Bernice told me that her reasons and her purpose to cure her pain (she did a lot of swearing for a gentle woman): “My life is about three quarters the way through, and it’s been Sh*t. I want the last quarter of my life to be Fun; I want another 20 years of life, more if I can, to have my own power and to accept my self, and be free to be me.”
The ‘core’ of Bernice’s pain was her anger. Her anger did not actually ‘belong’ to a young married woman who was the ‘victim’ of psychological and emotional abuse from her husband. Her anger had it’s antecedents in an emotionally painful experience when she was 18 months old, and again when she was age 11.
Are you wondering if an 18 month old child can experience the ‘pain’ of anger?
Yes, they can!
And the ‘pain’ invariably gets repressed by the unconscious mind, because the unconscious mind does not know what to do with these kinds of overwhelming emotions; ‘repression’ is an unconscious protective mechanism.
For Bernice, and for many of us, (including my self) the pain of repressed anger needs to be honoured, needs to be understood and needs the exact right, elegant strategy to ‘move it on’ and transform it.
I feel more details on this, another time when I write to you, will be useful?
I also feel that what I’ve been saying today, you ‘get it’
My Work respects it, honours it and assists that fury to transform.
Today, the kid in me is going to be ‘colouring in’ on our new site. And also Mike, Judith and I will be adding some nourishing ‘cakes’ for you…..
When we have the next revision I’ll let you know.
Until then you can see more information on my audio treatments on www.sally-stubbs.com
Thinking of you warmly
 Sally

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

DAILY NEWS REPORT:-

June 18th, 2012

What’s the news?

Sally Stubbs

Looks Like a dream that will come true…… Now – this is news worthy!! Whoo Hoo…….
Check this out for a headline :
The Daily News
Saturday June 16th 2012
Riddle of Happiness Revealed
Move on. Be well. Go for it!
Mind Power Therapist Sally Stubbs has come up with the answers to the age old problem of finding happiness for her clients.
Some may say Sally is a dreamer, but when you look deeper into the methods she uses it looks like a dream come true.
Sally’s dream of curing psychological, emotional and psychosomatic suffering is now a step closer following ……….
(From a suggestion by Stephen Richards)

Wouldn’t that be an article worth reading? Preferable to more about the economic crisis in Greece!!

There is this little kid in me, every day ‘she’ is simply awed – life is utterly awesome to ‘her’…..
This does not mean that ‘she’ does not care about all the suffering.
‘She’ does oh yes ‘she’ does care. She cares because pretty much up until she did ‘her’ Work with the very dear to my heart, late David Grove she was ‘stuck’ in ‘her’ inner world spaces of terror. Yeah terror.
Now, ‘she’ is free, ‘she’ guides me to explore inner and outer space in peace and with awe………. And fun and smiley faced……….
It is this ‘kid’ in me, full of Crazy Passionate that wanted this ‘news paper article’ in this letter to you.
‘She’ teaches me this: There is no point in me suffering in my attempts to end emotional and psychological suffering………….
That’s it really; ‘she’ has a simple take on it all.
I do know compassion. And I do cry with and for others – a lot.
This may sound like a contradiction!!! It isn’t……..
My dream for you, and for all of us is that we can all ‘be in tune’ with the pristine ‘spirit of the child’ within us.
I’ve just had a grand thought! I think I’m going to let ‘her’ have freedom on our new website – ‘she’ can do some ‘colouring in’…….
I’m pretty sure that no one will object!
I wonder if Google will be interested in ‘her’ colours!
And until she has finished colouring it in and I have finshed developing the text, why not check out my videos on You Tube?
I have quite a few others posted if you’re interested while you’re there.
Thinking of you warmly………
and with infinite thanks to the Great Stephen Richards………
Sally
P.S. and if and when the ‘kid’ in you feels angry, please, please honour those feelings….. You can do this by, instead of getting angry with yourself for feeling angry – slow down – and say to your self: “That’s right. That is the simple truth – ‘you’ did feel that way……”. All that anger comes from a young bewildered ‘kid’ who is hurting….. More on this one soon………..
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

 

STORMY WEATHER!

June 15th, 2012

 

Sally

An interesting take on the weather!

I just read this Quote on Twitter: “Everyone can navigate in fine weather”.
It makes you think doesn’t it!
I replied to this Tweet. I bet you’re not surprised!!!
Writing what I wanted to say with a maximum of 140 characters was a heck of a challenge!
I replied: “The problem with the weather is that we get stuck with our inner ‘storms’ in our unconscious mind”.
This Tweet “Everyone can navigate in fine weather” was a great opportunity for me, as I continuously use the metaphor of ‘the weather’ in my Work.
And the problems that I see everywhere, from social media to the press, are that there are so many similar statements to this mild Tweet. Everywhere, so manypeople totally neglect to consider, discuss and enquire into the driving force in all our lives: The unconscious mind…..
Our unconscious mind is so often driving inner ‘stormy weather’ that navigating our lives can be difficult, or can sometimes feel downright dangerous.
How it works, how it ‘drives’ our inner pain and turmoil, how our unconscious paradoxically has the solutions, resolutions and resources to cure our suffering once and for all.
I talk with you about how to communicate with our unconscious.
How cure of our problem states is not a ten minute ‘fast food’ therapy.(FFT) Nor is it years and years of learning control and management and learning why we have these sufferings.
Forty days of effort, the right kind of effort, the exact right kind of communication with our unconscious, once a day for around half an hour for forty days, for most of our problems will bring about an enduring cure using my Rapha Hypnosis techniques.
As I’m writing this, I am reminded of a friend who I met in the late 1980’s
He had his dream career, his dream home in London,cars, money, travel, really good friends, and a hugely glamorous social life.
And yet he was very, very lonely; he longed for a close lasting relationship with a woman.
But relationships never worked for him.
When I met him he had been in therapy pretty much once a week for fifteen years! (I Groan with exasperation…)
He told me that the therapy had enabled him to know why he had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger (that seemed to come from that place called nowhere…) since he’d been a teenager.
But: He still had depression and uncontrollable outbursts of anger.
That is a huge BUT isn’t it! Poor bloke, I hear these all too often, makes me feel utterly sad.
I suggested he change his therapist, not easy after nearly fifteen years, and go and Work with a colleague of mine in London, Julie, we studied together with the great David Grove in Missouri.
My friend did go to do some Work with Julie. Three months later he was cured. A month after that he met Nancy.
He and Nancy have been happily married for over 20 years.
I cannot count the number of folks who over the past 30 years have said to me: “This is ridiculous that I have a problem….. the sleeplessness, anxiety, fears, nervousness, stress…… edgy relationships…. Feeling angry….. can’t stop eating….. inner turmoil…no self esteem……. When my life is fine.
I have a lovely home, my job is OK, I’m pretty successful….. my dog is gorgeous…….”
In other words:
The outer weather is fine. Sunny from time to time. The odd showers and winds. It could be better ‘weather’, but I can’t really complain!
The inner weather: Blows up turmoil and becomes stormy….. “When I’m around my boss, around food……. Have to present at a meeting……… so many things make me want to ‘run away and hide myself’”
The ‘outer’ triggers that stir up the inner ‘storms’
My metaphor ‘stands up’ when we now consider, bringing calm and CURE to the inner ‘storms’.
We can Work with our unconscious in a correct, right, safe, comfortable way, time moves on and ‘the storms’ are over.
We safely enable the inner ‘storms’ to complete them selves… to no longer be ‘stuck’ in time as a continuous whirling around in circles turmoil….. to no longer experience disturbance and distress in our inner emotional and psychological ‘land scapes’
So, do come visit me and find out more www.sally-stubbs.com or vist www.youtube.com just type in Sally Stubbs and examples of my work will appear.

I am available to contact on my website, please do I would love to hear from you.

Thinking of you warmly…..
 Sally

 

HAND IT OVER TO YOUR UNCONSCIOUS:

June 13th, 2012

“I’ve got a joke for you about procrastination. I’ll tell you later!”
About 20 years ago, a friend, Wendy, who taught the Alexander technique bounced into my practice reception and boisterously announced:
“I’m going to stop getting around to stopping procrastinating!”
There were three or four of us in reception and we all howled with laughter. Mind you we’d always thought of Wendy as a ‘roll your sleeves up’ and get on with it girl! Not so confessed Wendy: “I’m always putting things off, not getting around to the things that need attention….”
And – on the one hand we have goals to achieve, and what will come first on that critical path to achieving an important goal? What comes first is to resolve the problem of the ‘egg’. We can ask our unconscious, as we sleep at night, to provide an important and truly comfortable dream about what the ‘egg’ problem needs in the right way for the ‘egg’ to be freed of its problem.
On the other hand – only our unconscious knows – what holds back on that – other hand.
One ‘hand’ cannot handle the ‘egg’s’ needs alone. It takes both ‘hands’ Working together.
OK, I’ll just précis that!
On the one ‘hand’ we want to resolve a problem, let’s just call that Unhappy in our own skin. On the other ‘hand’, something within us is holding back…..
As you know I discovered that it is our unconscious that knows what the problem is and paradoxically our unconscious knows how to resolve it, in the right way. The key is how we communicate with our unconscious and with our unconscious worlds……
Here is a ‘Top Technique’ for you
So you can sit there, where you are right now, and you are breathing.
And as you are breathing you can consider that it will be nice to become a little more comfortable in your skin – sooner or later – in the coming moments.
And as you sit there for a few more moments, you can take your time to be gentle with your self – I can ask this of you can I not?
Hold both your hands out in front of you a little way. Let your elbows and forearms be free, rather than supported by your body or your chair.
Ask yourself: Which hand, all by itself will represent my goal?
(name your goal – using positive words – if possible. Simple example: I want to be the right weight for me, and have a good enjoyable relationship with food. Rather than the negative which is something like: I want to stop being overweight)
Continue to also ask yourself: And on the other hand which hand will represent what is holding me back?
This may take you a little time to practice. Perhaps you could ask a good friend to ask these two questions for you.
Then, be fascinated by your hands. Feel them…. Wonder at how they, your hands, do handle life – your life – handling life many times with lots of courage.
It is the one hand that has been holding back that needs your attention. Notice what comes up in your thoughts ideas and feelings once you discover which hand is the one that is holding back. Expect the unusual. Expect to gain insights that will be surprising and different.
It’s worth it I promise you, practicing this – gaining new and different insights. The one hand that is holding back – will let you know all by itself – it will move, or lift or feel heavy….. a myriad of different things to let you know………
Note them, think them through, make the change!
This way of Working is pure Dr Ernest Rossi – you’ll be amazed at your results.Dr Ernest Rossie

Thinking of your warmly,

 

Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

NUTS & BOLTS!

June 11th, 2012

The Great Stephen Richards posted this comment on goodreads.com  Whoo Hoo!!
I like it.
“I came like a bolt from out of the blue into Sally’s professional life! One of my followers invited me to read Sally’s newsletter, which I would normally shun such an invitation but for some reason felt compelled to read it. What I read and then further researched about Sally Stubbs was food to my psyche! At last I had found someone with an equal measure of gusto to giving from their Higher Self as I had! Sally gives without taking. Thirty years of delivery of her therapy to so many in need. WOW! I mean, that shook me to the core! I have enormous respect for Sally’s work, and if you follow what she offers then you too will feel the same as I do. Oh, and as for Sally calling me “Great”, well I leave that for you to decide.”
I have decided. Steve is Great!
How have I come to this conclusion?
During a few emails with him in the past couple of weeks his absolute focused effort to continue to ‘step up’ his work to help others shines through….. and all the time he is humble…..in a true, pure yet ‘solid’ way……. I use the word ‘solid’ because humbleness can be thought of, can be seen as dithery and withdrawn. Not with Steve
Let me tell you a wondrous story of another Great person – this is just one of loads and loads of ‘breath-taking’ stories…..And Steve reminds me of him.
I’m talking about the Great Dr Ernest Rossi.
Rossi was teaching one day, by ‘demonstration’, which means someone came and sat next to him and presented their problem in front of all us students. That particular teaching seminar must be about 15 years ago.
Apfzal sat next to Rossi. He was probably in his early sixties or late fifties; I’m not too good on people’s age. I’m not that interested! He was fairly frail of body, a gentle person, and clearly robust of spirit.
Apfzal from Pakistan was, he told us a doctor of medicine.
Rossi and Apfzal went to Work – with Apfzal’s problem of feelings of anxiety and being withdrawn. Memories of his childhood of he and his family being terrified, fleeing refugees in 1947* came pouring out from Apfzal.
Tears poured from Rossi as he listened with every part of his being.
As the Session completed, Rossi put his arm carefully around Apfzal’s shoulders and said: “Apfzal, My Friend, you are My Hero.” I can see it and hear it now, and I am awed and happy to be tearful.
That’s why, for me Rossi is Great! His rigourous education and reams of published text books is one thing. But it was Rossi’s humbleness in those moments that make him Truly Great in my ‘book’ – And I know I can speak of Rossi and of Stephen Richards in the same ‘breath’
*In 1947, colonial Britain divided the subcontinent into two new states: a mostly Hindu India, and a mostly Muslim Pakistan. Partition caused between 200.000 and 360,000 deaths, while 10 to 12 million people became refugees in the largest population transfer in our era.
So, I’ve had a scour of the dictionaries for ‘nuts & bolts’. And this is what I got:
“Essential aspects of something as in: They have lofty goals but don’t specify the nuts & bolts of how to achieve them.”
How cool is that!
How cool is it that I find a good title for my letters to you, usually, like this one, just as I’m waking up, therefore pure unconscious ideas.
I thought this letter was about Stephen Richard’s ‘bolt from the blue’ comment on goodreads.com. This was a really good ‘bolt’
But you know sometimes if our ‘nuts’ are not in place, we miss the good bolts, as so often we are withdrawing into safety to avoid, understandably, the bad bolts, so we tend to miss the good bolts…….
Right, what is the something that I can help you to do, and get the result that you want? Together I want to help you get your ‘nuts and bolts’ secured.
What do you want to achieve for your self, what is your dream?
You can get crazy passionate about what you want to achieve for your self.
Sleep it, ‘eat it’, ‘drink it’, breathe it….
I believe in you and your dreams.
I have put my time and effort forward so you don’t have to struggle anymore.
We are far more effective together than we are alone.
Come visit me www.sally-stubbs.com – and another ‘home’ for you to come visit is www.rapha-hypnosis.com. We are still working on this one, but be assured there are plenty of nourishing ‘cakes’ for you to taste.
Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

NO, NO WE WON’T GET FOOLED AGAIN!

May 30th, 2012

This is an impromptu letter, completely a ‘flow of consciousness’ so please forgive any frayed edges……. Thank you.
And, it’s a one off, well for now it’s a one off!!! One thing that I am proud of being is Flexible!
So, I could well do this again……..
Anyway –
I frequently get asked questions like: “I’ve had no traumas in my life, but I feel ‘stuck’ with negative things that are hampering my life. What can I do?”
I also get asked questions along the lines of: “I have had trauma, and I don’t want to remember, I want to put it all behind me and get on with life, but I feel ‘stuck’ What can I do?”
SO, –
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday the 11th, 12th and 13th of June, from 9am to 9pm I’m setting aside these three days to answer your questions, by phone.
We’ll have to be organised, so please email me your question, which will give me an idea of how much phone time we’ll need, and please give me a couple of options of dates/times that suit you, and I’ll get back to you.
My private email address is: sally@sally-stubbs.com .
You may not feel that your question for me is confidential, but in case you do, to reassure you my private email address is entirely confidential.
The deal is our unconscious is driving our problem state. And our unconscious ……’ won’t get fooled….’ by diagnosis, direct suggestion, advice, tap, tapping our body (EFT: Emotional Freedom Techniques)……. and so on.
Our unconscious needs the exact Correct attention, and part of that attention is Respect.
Yeah, Respect.
Paradoxical isn’t it!
We have a problem, because our unconscious took on the ‘pain’, bewilderment, anger, fear and so on – in an attempt to protect us – from a worse onslaught……
As I’ve said, Mike came up with the great phrase, after I’d been ‘banging’ on to him for months last year about all this (Mike is an off shore deep diving engineer, with a very patient ear for me!!)
Mike said one night last year: “You can’t Bullsh*t the unconscious. And you, (Sally) are not interested in Fast Food Therapy as there is no nourishment in that….”
Last week a lovely lady came to see me, she has been suffering a ‘nothing place’ life pretty much all of her life. And the respect I have for her is truly immeasurable in the strength and courage she has found through huge effort to make a success of her life.
She told me on the phone she would rather see me 1:1 than Work with one of my audio courses.
Very soon into our first session of Work she told me she felt anxious.
Here are the questions to develop this kind of information which will, I am sure, really interest you greatly:
Q “And when you feel anxious whereabouts do you feel anxious?
A “It’s here…” touching her chest
Q “And when it’s here (notice IT that we have discussed before) whereabouts could it be when its ‘here’?”
A “It’s inside here”
Q “And when it’s inside ‘here’ could it have a shape or a size – colours or colours – when it’s inside here?”
As we developed the information, she looked straight at me and said the most accurate and wondrous thing, she said:
“And it won’t go away with a sticking plaster – it has a ‘life’ force…..”
I did one of my Whoooopeeee arm waving things – she ‘got it’, nope, that’s not accurate, she ‘knows it’.
The next day I got this wonderful, exquisitely articulated email from her:
“….a quick note to say thank you for a very interesting day! My
personal experience with therapies (& I have tried a few!) has never
left me as ‘upbeat’ as I felt today 🙂 I feel like I ‘own’ myself
rather than ‘dumping’ myself on another – a very good feeling. Thank you.”


I have of course asked permission to share this email with you, as it is so beautifully said – exactly that – to own your self….
Do email me and let’s have some valuable phone time together.
Find out more about my Work and my values first if you need to, you’ll be a welcome visitor http://rapha-hypnosis.com– which we are still working on to perfect though it is gorgeous – many thanks to Gary Hogg… he’ll ‘nit pick’ it to perfection and his designs are superb.
Thinking of you Warmly
Sally

YOU MAY SAY I’M A DREAMER…..

May 28th, 2012

But I am not the only one…… So are you, you too are a dreamer!
You are a dreamer, whatever that might be for you. I reckon we will always have dreams to fulfil.
Our dream could be of the great career, to be accomplished in an art – painter, writer, dancer, musician; to be a top athlete…..
Or to be successful in business, have loads of money and so on…….
The ‘bottom line’ foundation dream of all our dreams is to be happy and peaceful within our self.
I believe that we will always be working towards more of that dream. I know lots of really successful celebrities, and top successful business owners who, sadly, are not
Pretty much all of us will always have a dream, for others as well as for our self, so it’s a top worthy subject for us to discuss.
John Lennon’s dream was that:
Imagine all the people living life in peace…..
Great dream. Some dreams take time John……
I have a couple of top dreams.
One that I have focused on now for more than 30 years, as you may know, to Cure all emotional and psychological suffering….. Together we can do it
Where we have inner suffering we lack ‘stable’ inner peace.
We are strong, we do have courage and we do accomplish so much like the top job, we work diligently for our family, at our art, our sport….. We achieve and yet mostly we are still suffering.
Top Dream: Cure, once and for all, end of, emotional and psychological suffering.

But let us go back now to honing our Goal: (Goals are Dreams with ‘legs on’ says Marc Allen founder of New World Libraries)
The first question goes to you, meaning the question is sourced in the present:
“And what would you like to have happen?”
This is question in an unusual language and so will elicit a non usual response.
The “you” in the question can go to the ‘you’ in the present. And it can go to the original ‘owner’ of the unwanted problem. The original ‘owner’ could be, let’s say, age 6.
The answer can be what you, or the younger ‘you’ does not have, for example “I want to feel at peace with myself……”
Or, what you, or the younger ‘you’ does have, for example: “I want to stop feeling anxious and frightened.”
These simple examples of answers to the question: “And what do you want to have happen?” will incorporate the symptom, such as:
• I want to feel at peace with myself
• To relate in harmony with myself
• In my relationship.
• About food and what I eat
• To be able to sleep well
• In situations where I feel stressed
• In experiences where my stomach get all nervous
• Where I am always frightened (spiders, people, crowds…. And so on)
• When I’d normally get into a rage of anger
• At those times and events when I never have self confidence.
What I want for you – and one day that – ‘all the people – to be living life in peace’ ……within their ‘own skin’ – and with each other. Top Dream hey!
This was, and is a purpose and a reason of mine for working my ‘butt off’ for 30 years on my 40 day courses!
All of that Work in my courses ensures that you do not ‘go through’ your difficulties in any of your history. However, all my courses, for every symptom, honours and respects the difficulties within you that you have suffered – In exactly the right way for you. A vital step on your journey to cure the symptom…….
And then – my courses ‘pull back’ time to your pristine self. Reactivating the knowledge of being ‘at peace with your self…’ and brings your pristine knowledge into the present and for your future.
My heart continues to grow massively with all the great feedback I receive about all the successes of my courses…….
Please do go and have a look at them here, and there is other treatment information available on our development site www.rapha-hypnosis.com
Oh, and whilst your there, do me, and yourself a favour and have a joyful minute and a half listening to our lovely niece singing on my ‘Cure Insomnia’ treatment.

My courses are communicating cleanly, safely and elegantly with the inner strengths and resources of your wise unconscious mind.
Here’s an offer for you! Your money back guaranteed if you do not gain massive successes from my course of your choice…..
5 CDs, 15 tracks to treat and cure your problem, not to listen to endlessly to manage your problem!
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

NO MORE PUSSY FOOTING AROUND!

May 25th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

You know I believe ‘pussy footing around’ really is not that ‘sexy’!
Would you agree….?
Flirting – being coy – yeah all of that can be quite ‘sexy’ …for a while!
And for ‘big’ things in our life – for sure we need to ‘sit on the fence’ a while and gather information, ‘flirt with ideas’, before we can ‘get off the fence’ and ‘say’ our NO! or our YES! with, if not always absolute certainty at least with an acceptance of ‘risk’, ‘risk’ that will not injure our self or others……………
I have a 5 year old client, she clearly says: “There are straight Yes’s and straight No’s, and there are curvy Yes’s and curvy No’s. You must always be straight, curvy can be very messy, and sometimes you need to wait to know you have a straight Yes or a straight No.”
I have learnt masses from this 5 year old…….
I listened on the BBC radio 4 website to a recent programme called: The Trouble with Moody Teenagers. Brilliant of the BBC to make a production on this subject.
Lucy talked about being suicidal after her Dad died.
John talked about hiding himself away after being bullied.
Neither of these kids could ask for help, until eventually they were ‘exploding’.
Other kids talked about being suicidal, not coping, hiding in their rooms, being on an emotional roller coaster. Their suffering was described as: “Children being in mental smog…”
Statistics say that: Every school class has one student needing urgent help.
This isn’t about teenage angst, and mood swings driven by hormonal changes. This is about suffering.
Great, we’re ‘getting off the fence’ as regards suffering! Real horrific suffering……
The pain, like Lucy’s and John’s, can come from our own personal trauma.
The pain, for others, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’
Dr. John Sarno calls it ‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’
This is a story about Debbie, not her real name.

I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!
Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with depression and prescribed anti depressants.
Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did last week.
I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up.
Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’
Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me”, and she constantly feels totally numb.
In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me”, which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.
Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.
So I asked what happened about ten years ago.
“My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.
Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”
Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”
Believe me, I personally totally understand such great, great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our heart and mind.
But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.
Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death.
This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.
Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………
Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting………
And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her self to make the effort.
I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you.
I believe her story will somehow help you.
So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here is your medication.”
“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a therapist for you who Works this way…..”
Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s heart wrenching………..
Come visit us on our gorgeous new site, you’ll be most warmly welcome www.rapha-hypnosis.com

Sally

 

HUMMING TRUMPETS!

May 21st, 2012

Carl JungMy last letter was all about – The air is humming… Humming birds rolling on the air…. The air giving lift and flight to the butterfly’s wings. I’m wondering did that entire letter sound to you like ‘Trumpet Blowing’. Cool, because it was!! I am going to discuss with you ‘the walls of Jericho’ – as a truly valuable metaphor, so please forgive me if you are an archeologist or a biblical scholar.

So briefly, historically, the Hebrew people were making their way to their homeland, and Jericho the walled city presented a huge obstacle. The ‘walls’ of doubt, despair and fear had to go!
As a metaphor the walls of Jericho are our doubts, despairs and fears that are preventing us from coming ‘home’ and being ‘at home’ with our self. Preventing us from being happy, safe, in harmonious relationship with our self, secure in ‘our own skin’
‘Home’ with our self where we were intended to be.
Carl Jung’s work called this state; Individuation.

I’m paraphrasing a Jungian here as an overview of Individuation:
‘Besides achieving physical and mental health, people who have advanced towards individuation, become harmonious, mature, responsible, they promote freedom and justice …….’
I like this one that I’m about to tell you.
A couple of years ago a client mentioned Individuation, he was frowning and looked very puzzled, then suddenly a ‘light bulb’ went on, he said to me:
“Oh, that means my Intended Being.”
My hair and skin stood happily ‘on end’ at the awesome beauty and clarity of these words. Being who we are Intended to be, is to be ‘be at Home’ free to be in harmony with our self.
So the people were journeying home to the Promised Land, their psychological ‘Home’ and the walls of doubts, despair and fears were stopping them.
For ‘seven days and seven nights’ they walked round and round the walls, searching for the solution and resolution.
For some of my clients ‘seven days and seven nights’ has felt like a life time.
‘Who would have though it’ – they blew a trumpet and the walls fell down!
And that’s certainly thinking differently!
That is a top Ingredient of all my Work, to assist thinking really differently.
Absolutely everyone who has Worked with me 1:1 or with my audio courses, tells me, ‘I never would have thought of it like that before…’
That’s it you see, as we think the same old same old ways, even the ways of ‘eye of a newt and powdered chicken bones’! We get the same old same old results.
Maybe I’m ‘mixing my metaphors’!!! But Steve Richards blew a Trumpet for me!
Stephen is no ‘light weight’ he is seriously successful. He is also exceedingly generous; I’ve called him a Knight Shining Light. You can find Stephen on www.cosmicordering.net
Relentlessly Positive says this of Stephen:
‘I’ve now read three books on the subject, and of the three, Stephen Richards’ is the best by far.’
My walls around ‘Jericho’ were not of doubts, fear or despair! But were a row of my ‘soap boxes’ of frustration from which I call out: “We can cure psychological emotional and psychosomatic suffering, and keep the cure – and come ‘home’ to be our self….’
Here for you, I have lots of ‘cakes to eat’ and nourish you, our brand new gorgeous site – built and designed by ‘Grand as owt’ Gary Hogg – www.rapha-hypnosis.com
Enjoy! Any comments you may have to improve will be gratefully received by us.
Many Thanks
Warmly……
Sally

THE AIR IS HUMMING!

May 18th, 2012

Hi Everyone,
Well, today, what I want is to really, really, truly inspire you.
I’m wondering if:
You will allow me to inspire you……
First, I’m giving myself a few moments to allow my own ‘flow of consciousness’ to pour from me with just the exact right words for you…..
My Dad, Paddy Monaghan, writes poetry and poetic prose. He once described what I’m probably about to do for you as:
“My words are simply pouring from me…… maybe in a jumbly way… like happy scattered children on a ramble……..”
So, as I’m preparing for my happy scattered children on a ramble words for you, I gaze out of the window to see an abundance of red squirrels in the ‘café’ that Mike built for them by the river.
Hazelnuts and black sunflower heart seeds are this morning breakfast speciality.
‘Red Squirrel Café’ had become a bit full… so would you believe it a couple of the red squirrels are sitting on our wooden garden chairs, eating! How cool is that……
Can you see the nut in their teeny hands, the fluff of gold red tail rests on their heads?
I mean, I read a great Tweet early this morning, (before the rush for hazelnut & sun flower seed delight), from a woman ‘somewhere’ in America. She said in her Tweet: I’m watching the humming birds rolling on the air…..
Now, I could see the humming birds rolling on the air, and my smile spread from here to there…….
Here goes!
For a number of days I’ve been silently singing this song: “The air is hummin’ and something Great is coming …for meeeeeee………. Could it be – yes it could……it’s gonna be GREAT…….” (Oh yeah, and I have been singing it out loud sometimes!!)
So last week we got an ‘out of the clear blue air’ an email from the Great Stephen Richards. (We had never heard of him…)
He told us he’d put on the goodreads.com site an author profile for me, for the one reason that he said he wants the world to know about Sally Stubbs.
That generosity is awesome! And really, I recommend you go check out Stephen. I have never seen work as good and great and mighty as his……….
I’ve got this entire ‘air is humming…’ going on for me, and then there is the lady from America with her humming birds rolling on the air Tweet….. Then this message from Stephen to me…..
“Like the gentle swaying of a butterfly’s wings against the unseen air gives it the lift it needs to fly, we are connected to that energy that makes such a happening possible.”
Here I am ‘Flying….’ with all of this. What happens Next!
I read this morning this comment from Stephen on goodreads.com, and I soar and I am humbled at the same time:
how Sally has devoted“I have the utmost respect for the way Sally Stubbs, an extraordinary psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, has given herself so passionately to a life of working to help others. Perhaps some have given a few years to the cause of serving their therapeutic profession, but when you consider  more than 30 years to her calling then it is astounding that she still has such an appetite in continuing her work and at the same time having a consistent success rate.
When I think of Sally, the phrase “Many are called few are chosen” springs to mind. Sally has, indeed, made a huge difference to the lives of those she has helped. A relentless passion for helping people shines through in the way she has total self-belief in her abilities.
I wholeheartedly support Sally’s work through her organization and would recommend that you spread the word.” Stephen Richards.
This is my plan:
I plan in my life time to see an end to all psychological emotional and of course psychosomatic suffering – in my life time……
Some may call me naïve! In which case I respect all opinion but those ‘some’ are entirely wrong. We can…………………
Thinking of you Warmly
Sally
PS: We have no commercial links with goodreads.com or with Stephen Richards

FUN MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR PROBLEM!

May 16th, 2012

The Great David Grove

Hi Everyone,
You know fun does place our psychological – emotional problems in a perilous state! We can forget our problem for an hour or a day or even a week of fun…….
But, our problems, like the cracks that have been papered over, are still there.
Like the cracks, our problem reappears.

I did my resolution Work with the great David Grove in the mid 1980’s. Yes, I do consider myself to be very, very lucky.
Or was it luck?
Actually I believe it was because I was ‘dogged’, rather than lucky! I made that Effort.
I’d already worked, entirely unsuccessfully, with four other therapists before I ‘found’ David……

“We must be the ever vigilant guardian of our inner space.” Do you know who said this?
I can’t remember and it’s an absolutely brilliant quote because it’s absolutely true…..
This is what we’ve been considering together as you have been ‘listening’ for any objecting thoughts/beliefs to your reasons and purposes for you achieving your Goal.
The objections do not ‘go away’ through our attempts at ‘positive thinking’ positive affirmations, deep breathing exercises, behavioural changes… oh, and Tap, Tap Tapping our body as we sing summat like Happy Birthday……… None of these strategies achieve cure.
So, we can begin to cure some of our objecting negative thoughts and beliefs with the fun of Pattern Interruption once we have established that the objection has come from somewhere external to our self………
Here’s one of mine to give you an example.
During my Work with David I was at home one day and I dropped a mug.
I felt in my stomach a life long familiar anxiety.
But, this time I stopped everything that I was doing, which was mopping up split coffee and shards of a broken mug!
Vigilant to my inner space, I ‘heard’ in my thoughts: For Goodness Sake Sally!
An injunction which had been repeated to me by my Mum when I was a kid.
She’d add to the “For Goodness Sake Sally” ….. ” Stop being so Clumsy.”
I developed a belief that I was generally a Clumsy person. I lived with it!!
You see, my Mum didn’t have enough money in her limited weekly house keeping for me to drop, spill, or break any thing. She’d get anxious and cross, and I’d get anxious.
Anyway that day that I broke the mug I did a Pattern Interruption.
I danced around the kitchen singing in my loudest voice, a top performance  “For Goodness Sake – Do the Hippy, Hippy Shake – Sally………” On and on I sang and danced………..
A couple of weeks later, I broke something else, a glass I think – and I did my second and also final, farewell performance of “For Goodness Sake – Do the Hippy, Hippy Shake – Sally………” The injunction from my Mum vanished for good! No more anxiety. No more believing I’m a clumsy person!!
Since then, if, I break or spill or knock something over, it’s simply an accident!!
Once you discover any of your objections to successfully achieving your Goal are sourced ‘out side’ of you, like mine, which came from my Mum’s anxiety, you can have such fun Interrupting the Pattern.
How you need to do it is with loads of energy. Yeah, really loads of energy. Whatever you can think of dance, sing, run around, star jumps, pillow fight,  – get into it.
You can do it by deliberately and consciously bringing up the objecting thoughts or beliefs. And a great, great strategy is, if your objection has a feeling with it in your body, like for me, I felt anxiety in my stomach, let the feeling come up, don’t let the feeling escape.

If your objections to successfully achieving your Goal are coming from an experience of hurt or ‘pain’ then come and find out about my audio courses/treatments to resolve, free and really cure………. www.sally-stubbs.com Or come and visit anyway, my audio courses/treatments really are top of the tree……….
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

UNTANGLING BALLS OF WOOL!!

May 9th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Hi Everyone
Over a year ago Mike came up with this great simples example, which so explained what I’d been banging on about into his oh so ‘patient with me’ ear.
Differentiation was the thing.
You see we were off to Work at the Vitality Show at Earls Court, London, expecting 35,000 visitors! Blimey, that’s a lot of people in one barn of a room.
I presented a Workshop, and then a presentation in a theatre.
I felt like a proverbial ‘fish out of water’, which is really funny as the theatre was like a ‘gold fish bowl’
A very peculiar set up, the theatre had no walls, and so was totally open to the 30,000 people, who, not interested in differentiation were all milling around the potions and body creams and self help book stalls!
As a ‘fish out of water ‘you’d think I’d have a hard time. Not so. I loved it.
I love a challenge!
So “T Minus One” experiences and our learnt negative beliefs about ourselves and the world of others around us can all get condensed in the unconscious mind, or undifferentiated.
The “T Minus One” experiences such as the emotional pain and hurt and fears, and also the negative beliefs that do not validate ourselves, and do not celebrate our life and sometimes invalidate others (for example the ‘crazy belief’: All men are cruel! When the truth here is of course: Some of us humans can be cruel) all this needs to be differentiated out.
Before the Vitality Show I reckon I’d ‘bent’ Mike’s ear for hours about this.
Then he comes up with this pearler:
The pain, hurt, fears and negative self beliefs are like several balls of coloured wool, all tangled and knotted. All the colours have merged so you’re hardly able to recognise what’s what!
I ask: Do we have the ‘balls’ to untangle the wool? Yes of course we do! I did! So anyone can!
And so many people have with me 1:1 and with my audio courses/treatments.
Many of these people had problems which had been diagnosed as incurable, and they cured their problem.
Many of these people themselves believed their problem was intractable, too knotted to ever be untangled. Many like Laura who had lost her voice and had lost her hair, have cured their problems.
And the untangling process is comfortable; simplistically the process is comfortable because it does not actually go through “T”
It is far far better to untangle the balls of wool, than to live our lives with a knotted up mind………
First of all state your Goal. Example: “I want to stop running away from a close relationship”
First change your Goal to the positive polarity, for example: “I want to be comfortable and to have a really close relationship.”
Write in your notebook every day for a few days, adding to your Goal. (The potential of your imagination for your Goal is massive, way beyond anything that you’ve ever thought about)
For example: “In my relationship, I want to be understood, therefore I want to be really open about myself………”
Next day; “And I want to feel safe in my relationship to have loads of playfulness…”
Next day: “I want to be free in my relationship to be full on passionate…..”
As you carry on with your Goal (and this is no one else’s business but yours, so keep it private for now!) you will likely start to hear your objecting thoughts, like:
“Being passionate cannot be safe for me…”
These objecting thoughts are like ‘gold’, savour them, write them down, and ponder on them; wondering: where could these objections have come from?
Whatever Goal you have, you did not have these objections when you were an infant. They came from somewhere……..Keep making notes.
Why on earth would I be saying that any objections that you consciously begin to notice and then give attention to are like ‘gold’?
Because the objections you discover are your tangled negative beliefs, and unless they are given your thoughtful attention and then made different these negative beliefs will always get in the way of you fully and successfully achieving your Goal.
You know a zillion times easier way for you to differentiate, untangle and change what you need, to achieve your Goal, is to journey with me on one of my Audio courses/ treatments. You will be most welcome to check them out on our web site.
I do receive outstanding feedback about the success of my courses.
I personally love them.
Do visit me and have a look.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

EYE OF NEWT & POWDERED CHICKEN BONES!

May 8th, 2012

Hi Everyone,
Is there a place for placebos in our human society? Yes, of course there is!
The truly acclaimed wonderful Dr Ernest Rossi, one of my amazing teachers, who is both a neuroscientist and a top hypnotherapist, wrote about the story of The Likeable Mr. Wright.
An awesome story of the marvel of and the value of the placebo effect. Any of you who know this story please forgive me for paraphrasing from memory, rather than transcribing the entire story for you.
The Likeable Mr. Wright had serious cancer and had been given only hours, maybe two days, to live.
Mr. Wright had heard that the new drug Krebeozen was available in the hospital where he was, and that Krebeozen was highly effective for his type of tumours, but was only available for patients with a life expectancy of several months.
Mr. Wright pleaded and pleaded with his doctors, to be treated with this new wonder drug, and finally he won!
48 hours later, Mr. Wright was up and serving breakfasts to his fellow patients.
Of his tumours it was stated: ‘They vanished as like snowballs melting on a stove’
Mr. Wright went home.
Around about 18 months later it came out in the news that Krebeozen, had been found to be inert, having no healing properties.
Mr. Wright’s tumours reappeared over night, and back he went into hospital.
This is not the end of the story by any means!
His doctors got together, and after detailed discussions, they told Mr. Wright that they had now got a brand new drug, Krebeozen 2, which had been thoroughly tested. As no such drug existed, his doctors congruently gave Mr. Wright injections of saline, salt water.
Mr. Wright’s tumours vanished, and as Krebeozen 2 did not exist, he would never hear reports about it in the news!
The Likeable Mr. Wright continued his life…….

In our discussions through my letters to you, and I will be totally delighted to hear from you with any thoughts that you have, we are focusing our attention on psychological and emotional problems and suffering.
And my Goal is cure, as you know, not masking, managing or controlling – my focus is on cures that will endure!
So the diets and the pharmaceutical companies ‘mind altering’ products are placebos.
When we Work and cure our own problems through our ‘clean’ appropriate communication with our unconscious mind – we empower our self.
We are not controlled by the placebo effect. We become stronger, we release inner resources, and we have an inner sense of stability, harmony and balance.
So for you, with whatever psychological and emotional problem that you may be suffering, wanting to resolve and cure, finally – finito – we need that ‘roll your sleeves up’ Effort.

First if we just recap on Goal setting.
Why, you may (or may not!!) be wondering, do I say for you to state your goal, and the details of your Goal in the positive?
Most of us kind of know this one, but it really is worth reminding our self.
Well it is this, and it really is important. For example, we so often state our Goal as:
“I want to stop eating chocolate. I won’t eat any more chocolate. I don’t eat chocolate any more!”
Your brain is right now thinking about chocolate, your brain can’t help it, your brain has heard chocolate, eat chocolate, and off you go to the shop! Bewailing, why am I eating this chocolate!
Have a go! Apply it to anything you like. Example: “I don’t want to be angry!” your brain has heard “I want to be angry!” The ‘don’t’ word has vanished.
We say to our children: “Don’t touch that!”
Invariably our child touches ‘that’ and we feel pretty miffed at apparently being ignored! And our child, not only feels that they are now in trouble, they can also be pretty bewildered, they do know that the adults tone of voice is warning them off touching ‘that’ and yet their brain cannot always ignore the instinctive ‘touch that’
So how about not only checking your written Goal for any lurking negatives, but also use a Top Strategy gift from me to you, to regularly check throughout the day your habituated thoughts that can still be carrying on with the same old, same old: “I want to stop eating chocolate. I won’t eat any more chocolate. I don’t eat chocolate any more!”
Change it! Change in your thoughts throughout the day to whatever really resonates with you, like: “Today I will thoroughly enjoy lots of fruit, fresh vibrant salad, succulent fresh fish….”
And one more absolute Top Strategy from me to you, as you are dropping off to sleep at night, state your Goal, silently and congruently and with lots energy to yourself: “Tomorrow, I will thoroughly enjoy lots of fruit, fresh vibrant salad, succulent fresh fish….yummy. Good night”

warmest thoughts & wishes
Sally

Eat Grasshopper Therapy!

May 4th, 2012

You want to lose weight, eat grasshoppers!
You want to cure a problem – insomnia, anger, stress, nervousness, fearfulness…….cure anything else, eat grasshoppers!
This just bobbed up into my conscious mind – and where ‘on earth’ did that come from!!
We could say stuff like:
Lord knows…..
Or:
It just came from (that place called) nowhere!!
Where did it actually come from, like anything else, it came from my unconscious mind of course.
However, I’ve sat here looking out across the river, admired a couple of bounding around bouncy red squirrels, wondering: What is that about, the, you want to lose weight eat grasshoppers, you want to cure any problem eat grasshoppers?
I’ve had such a laugh thinking: eat grasshoppers, stir in eye of a newt, add powdered chicken bones, bang a drum and cure your problems!!
But, humour aside, the answers coming from my unconscious to my question: What is that all about, are awesome, they are blowing me away.
Such simple answers, and that’s the beauty of it, the pure simplicity.
I’ve got an idea here, to ask you to let me know what you think that is about?
That would be great to hear your thoughts…..
At first I thought, whoa, my unconscious is playing around, a bit of a light hearted prank! Fair enough…….
Not so!
Sorry, to be harping on, as my Mum would say to me, but I think this is really awesomely ‘sexy’ – so strap in, ready?
Simples: It’s a belief! It’s a belief!
We buy into masses and masses of ludicrous beliefs – like: diets cure our problematical relationship with food, no they don’t – our unconscious mind does that not diets.
Like – (oops here it is – ‘a Sally Soap Box Moment’)….. the pharmaceutical companies products will cure our insomnia, fears, panic, numbness, anxieties……. It’s bunkum!
I guess I won’t be popular with the pharmaceutical companies then!
Do I care?
Yes actually I do, I care that so, so many of us are totally well meaning but we bought into The Emperor’s new Clothes! And that is truly sad.

Along with around 1,000 other people last summer Mike & I watched: The Acclaimed Therapist’, (TAT), of stage & TV screen, doing, on stage, an EFT demonstration to cure a young woman of a phobia!
Tap, Tap, Tap he went – asking her to sing loudly Happy Birthday at the same time as he tapped, tapped, tapped her gorgeous body (quite saucy really!!)
Are you cured now, he repeatedly asked.
Are You Cured Now? TAT was getting het up, Tapping increased in vigour!
“No!” she said, her pleading voice telling him several times about her “T minus one” (which she didn’t actually realise she was ‘stuck in time)’ But she was not buying into this EFT belief system, despite TAT’s world renown fame.
Finally he told her to go on to his website and buy his I Will Cure Your Phobia CDs.
(TAT., TAT…..what makes you believe you’re so powerful that YOU can cure people? No you can’t, people cure themselves with the right, clean strategies… You Muppet!)
TAT is charismatic, well meaning I believe – but wake up TAT really!!
Wake up.

I nearly ran onto that stage like the little kid in the legend and said; You’re not wearing any clothes!! I reckon politeness held me back – I regret the lost opportunity….
Any way, 998 people loudly applauded TAT’s performance. We all then meandered off for coffee – and as Mike & I were hanging out with the 998 people they were all whispering: He ain’t wearing any clothes.
Mike and I said: Bu***r – lost opportunity there.
Beliefs do not cure us. Beliefs (like these) can & do mask or hold back the problem. The problem is still there, ‘humming’ away deep in the unconscious mind looking for another ‘way out’.
This is not an ‘armchair’ theory; this is 30 years of keen observation and rigourous study.
I’ll add to this ‘beliefs do not cure us’ another time
Changing our negative beliefs which block us from the truth that we can be cured opens the door for us to then access within our unconscious what our unconscious needs or needs to have happen, needs to know or understand needs to resolve and heal to then move time and finally be free of the problem……
And you know, talking with you, I’ve realised that it was not politeness that kept me off that stage!
You see, if 998 people believed TAT was wearing Grand New Clothes, it would have got really messy for me……
Today I would just do it!

Sally Stubbs
e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com
 

 

My BBC Radio Cumbria Interview on Phobias

March 26th, 2012

Barbara’s Eighty Year Wasp Phobia

I know you can fix your phobia, be rid of it completely.

No need to manage your phobia, work to be free of it.

Are you or a friend afflicted?

Have a look at the information about the audio treatment I have produced to allow you to get to the bottom of the phobia and be liberated from it.

Barbara phoned in to the Mike Zeller Program on BBC Radio Cumbria, the subject for discussion – ‘Phobias’.

You can listen to an extract from the program here: Barbara’s Eighty Year Wasp Phobia

Barbara discusses a phobia she has had for eighty years since, aged four, she had two painful experiences with wasps .

Sally Discussing Phobias on BBC Radio Cumbria

March 26th, 2012

Karens food poisoning phobia

Monday, 26th March 2012:- Interesting interview with a lovely lady called Karen who has a phobia regarding food poisoning which related to an incident when she was 4 years old and her family were  bedridden with food poisoning, now nearly 40 years old and she still struggles with the concept of getting food poisoning and consequently has an unhealthy relationship with food, I am sure I can help her, it is never too late to get help with a phobia or anything else that is concerning you in your life.  I have courses available, either one to one or audio, or you can contact me via the website and I will assist you all I can.

Sally Stubbs

KICK YOUR ANNOYING HABITS!

March 23rd, 2012

Do you have an annoying habit?
Do you want to stop this habit?

Our brain does a fabulous thing for us, it learns quickly and it learns by repetition and then many, many tasks in life become unconscious, which means habituated. This fabulous facility of the brain saves us all a phenomenal amount of time, as long as the habit is useful, like tying our shoe laces!
Driving is a good example! If you drive you will know that you no longer need to consciously think about mirror, brake, mirror, stop, look left, look right, mirror…… this process takes ages to consciously think and work it out, and you haven’t even left the junction yet! You just ‘do it’ unconsciously, whilst consciously you can hold a conversation, listen to music, think about future plans, what you will have for dinner, whilst your unconscious does the driving! You will experience familiar journeys like this: “I don’t remember – the last ten, twenty minutes….” Your driving just ‘happened’ as your unconscious mind took over the familiar journey. But your amazing unconscious mind-brain is ever alert and vigilant for the traffic lights, pedestrians and so on.
Once we have learnt pretty much anything in life we no longer have to give ‘it’ thinking time. We can multi task and therefore save time – we can for example – listen, read, type – all at the same time.
So, lots of habitual behaviours are very, very useful for all of us.
However, like most of us, you have probably learnt certain habits which are negating your fulfillment in life?

Science used to consider that once the mind-brain had learnt behaviour, then that behaviour became ‘hard wired’ and would be virtually impossible to change! Neuroscience has discovered in the past three decades that this is not the case. Learnt behaviour is not ‘hard wired’ in our brain and can therefore be ‘un learnt’ and changed.
We do not yet know the true capacity or potential of our mind-brain. Research is showing that learning something new can cause neurogenesis, meaning when we learn something new we are literally growing a new brain . So you change an old habit, you gain, you learn something new- you gain literally you grow a new brain.

You need to be motivated to make the changes you want.
To be motivated we all need a purpose.
Why? Why do you have to have motivation to kick your annoying habit?
The brain learns faster and far more efficiently if we have motivation.

A child will learn really fast that two twos are four, if they can then go out to play after they’ve learnt the sum, or receive a gold star, or become the mathematician they dream of being.
These results are about meaningful purpose and not about reward!
The brain learns outstandingly quickly when we have a purpose to learn.

Purpose or reasons are what motivates us all of us!

Once we know the purpose in learning something new we are focusing on the good things to be experienced as a result of making the change. And, as we cannot just turn off a learnt behaviour, an annoying habit, the excitement of the results to be gained also assist the new learning process.

The wonderful thing for you to understand is that human beings can change, we can all change and we have the freedom of choice to change for something that is good and better.

So, what is your purpose in Creating Positive Life Affirming Habits?
Maybe you already know your purpose?
Now is the time to rid yourself of your annoying habit.

I can help, you will be a most welcome visitor @ www.sally-stubbs.com/kick your annoying habits

 

MEEKNESS?

March 7th, 2012

Here comes Spring and life is abounding with great good opportunities for us all, but this is really hard, if not at times impossible, for our mind to even contemplate seeing and hearing, let alone acting upon, when we are suffering a problem.

Last week a client said something really awesome to me; it stopped me in my stride! My client was working on a problem he had about the painful hurt he was suffering in a close and important relationship. I asked him: “What do you want to achieve?” He replied; “I want to have meekness.”

I never ever make suppositions about any of my work either in my recorded treatments or my 1:1 work. But I was struck by his word ‘meekness’. I asked him what he meant by meekness? He said that: Meekness is the ability to see clearly and to not mind ..”

Brilliant!

In other words – to be in a place and space in our mind to no longer be responding from ‘pain’ and hurt, and therefore to not respond inappropriately by either ‘withdrawing into a bleak hiding mood’ or getting into a ‘fury’ – turning to food – feeling frightened, nervous – tossing and turning all night……….that endless circle of not knowing whether to blame them, (or blame something) or take the blame our self.

Considering ‘meekness’ as a response is not me or my client being naïve! It is about seeing clearly – not minding – and having time to respond appropriately. By appropriately that means from a ‘clean’ clear place that is in the present free of hurt or ‘pain’ from our past.
So, I think his take on ‘meekness’ is truly awesome.

How can we begin to do this? Here’s a strategy for you to work with: Pause for a few moments, even though you’re hurting, and ask does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience? (You’ll know if it belongs to a younger life experience because you’ll have had the feelings before, the feelings won’t be brand new, there will be a familiar ‘knot’ of ‘pain’ in your stomach, chest, heart, throat….)

Once you realise this is familiar ‘pain’ the strategy is to acknowledge it by saying convincingly to yourself “That’s Right! That really did hurt me …when I was aged about…… “(You’ll know about how old you were…) So, in ‘honouring’ your past ‘pain’ you help yourself not to hide and withdraw into a mood or get angry with them, or angry with whatever is going on for you in the present – and you also help to ease, and even begin to resolve, a past ‘pain’ with which you got ‘stuck’.

You’ll be a very welcome visitor to www.sally-stubbs.com

Thinking of you warmlySally

RAPHA HYPNOSIS

January 27th, 2012

Rapha Hypnosis - cures that endure!

Hi
We would like to introduce you to the term Rapha Hypnosis in case you’re not yet familiar with it.

We needed a description to distance and distinguish Sally’s therapy work from Neuro-linguistic Programming, (NLP), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, (CBT), the Emotional Freedom Technique, (EFT), tapping and others, which we collectively refer to as fast food therapy. Why ‘fast food’? Because whilst these therapies appear to work, and quickly, they teach managing skills presenting plausible insights but do not cure the root cause of the problem.

Managing skills means that you need to keep up weekly or daily management of a problem state.

Accessing plausible insights means that you now know why you have a problem, however the problem state persists and needs to be managed or controlled.

At Sally Stubbs Ltd we are only interested in providing curative therapy: work that gets to the root of the problem and resolves it permanently. And this is what Rapha Hypnosis does.  And that is why our strapline is cures that endure!

The word Rapha has its roots in the Hebrew language; Jehovah Rapha being The Lord that Heals.  We are non religious and our focus is on the healing aspect of the word.

To better explain the term, we developed this acronym:

Resilient
Amalgamation
of
Psycho-physical
Healing
Approaches

So now to expand on the acronym!

Resilient:
Dictionary definition – ‘(human) Readily recovering from shock, depression etc, buoyant’.
We humans, enhanced by informed action, have these qualities.

Amalgamation:
Dictionary definition – ‘Combine or unite to form one structure, organisation etc’.

This word has been chosen to indicate that the therapeutic techniques employed in Rapha Hypnosis are many and varied.
They have been learnt and developed over a period of 30 years in private practice and committed continual learning, research and study  over the same period.

We amalgamate:

  • the ‘Clean Language’ approach developed and taught by David Grove;
  • the complexity of Ericksonian therapeutic technologies;
  • the eminent work of Dr. Ernest Rossi and Jungian techniques where appropriate;
  • thirty years of Sally Stubbs’ exceptional experience;
  • NLP – as this can be useful as an aid to communication;
  • Other –  too many to single out!

All of the above strategies have been refined and incorporated into the amalgamation to make Rapha Hypnosis the powerful curative therapy it is.

Psycho-physical:
Dictionary definition – ‘The science of the relation between the mind and the body’.
Sally has been studying and applying numerous therapeutic approaches to connect mind and body for nearly 30 years.

Healing:
Dictionary definition – ‘To cause a wound, disease or person to heal, be cured or made sound again’.

This is what Rapha Hypnosis audio treatments achieve.

Approaches:
Dictionary definition – ‘A way of dealing with a person, individually’.

There you have it! Rapha Hypnosis – cures that endure!

——————————————-

The Experts

We continue this article by providing you with a brief overview of the above mentioned experts’ methods of working, for your interest:

Dr Milton Erickson
Erickson didn’t use clean language but at least he was aware of the presuppositions of his language.
He is considered to be the Master of Metaphor, i.e. the art of getting the message across by metaphorical suggestion in story form directly to the unconscious mind. Erickson is also considered globally as the Master of Psychotherapeutic and Hypnotherapeutic strategies. “More than any other individual, Milton Erickson has been responsible for shaping the modern view of Hypnosis. His great contribution came from his ability to locate an individuals inner resources for coping creatively with the real problems of every day life.” (Rossi and Ryan)

Erickson himself endured two bouts of polio and was in a wheelchair for much of his later life. He learned to use the healing methods of self-hypnosis and uncovered ways of experiencing living at more profound levels.

Jungian Techniques
Sally studied Jungian work with the eminent Dr Ernest Rossi and Dr Stephen Gilligan
Particularly relating to Jung’s work on individuation, simplistically; The development of the self achieved by resolving the conflicts arising at life’s transitional stages, in particular the transitions from childhood to teenager, and from teenager to adulthood.

Clean Language – David Groove
“I used to watch other therapists work. I wondered, why did they ask that question? I started analysing the questions major therapists used; people like Virginia Satir and Carl Rogers. To begin with I thought it was because they had this huge vast experience. After a while I twigged that, jeepers, they were coming out of their own hallucinations, their, the therapists model of the world. Take Carl Rogers, who I thought would be really ‘Rogerian’! I found his language wasn’t clean in the sense that he kept shifting people. He would use past tense in the present, and then use the future tense and move them back to the present.

So he was often redefining verbally whatever anybody said. He would amplify or redefine the words the client used. Well, when you do that it robs the client of some of their experience. I wanted to know the questions you can ask that don’t have any presuppositions.
So I came up with a set of basic questions and strategies which are neutral and do not interfere with a client’s process. They all start with the conjunction ‘and’… and what that does is facilitate a trance. So the use of clean language is very trance inducing without a traditional induction. It’s a natural induction because the questions don’t pull the client out of their experience. The questions are aimed at the metaphoric part of their experience so they don’t go through normal cognitive processes.”

Others
Of Dr Rossi’s book “The Psychobiology of Gene Expression” Jeffrey Zeig PhD Director of the Milton H. Erickson Foundation writes: “This book is a contribution for the ages. It shows in practical terms how the inter-twined genetic genius of the brain and body can be unlocked.

Ernest Rossi an internationally renowned psychotherapist, hypnotherapist and neuroscientist has discovered fascinating keys to better health and better living. “No chemistry required it is all within.”
Rossi says: “The new understanding of the relationships between gene expression and human experience emerging from the Human Genome Project is setting the stage for a profound expansion of our understanding of life. The new neuroscience discoveries about enriching life experiences, neurogenisis and gene expression, are poised to profoundly expand our understanding of psychotherapy…..”

Sally Stubbs
Rapha Hypnosis  is the application of Sally’s  accumulated knowledge, whether gained from text books, studying with acknowledged field leaders or through experience.
Sally:- “I make no presuppositions in my Rapha audio treatments! If I did, that would be my hallucination about your needs! (David Grove) I do not know your way to a happy stable, well balanced inner ‘home’  but I know that you  know the way. I set you on the path, and I journey beside you. Your unconscious mind is driving your problem state, paradoxically your unconscious, not me,  knows the way out “.(Erickson)
Sally continues; “Rapha Hypnosis does not use any direct suggestion! Direct suggestion does not work to effect change within the unconscious. If it did work our hairdresser or best friend could tell us to relax and suggest we stop eating too much food and lose weight, or be calm and confident or whatever it is we need, and we would not need the genius of those pioneering therapists and me! If I simply tell you by suggestion when you are in a relaxed or hypnotic state to: Be calm, be confident, an unconscious part of you will certainly, sooner or later object and resist! If I tell you by suggestion when you are in a relaxed hypnotic state to: Stop eating so much food, your mind is instantly thinking of food and off you go to the fridge, larder, cake box!”
“There are many, many more ‘nourishing of your inner growth ingredients’ in Rapha Hypnosis – cures that endure!

If you have read all of this article, then that’s quite a lot to digest right now, so I’ll explain more another time”
Thanks for reading

Sally

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

How Yoga Can Improve Your Self Confidence

May 23rd, 2011
Hatha Yoga is good for the soul

Try Hatha Yoga for inner peace and outer calm.

In the early 1980’s I was very fortunate to study Hatha Yoga with a man who had established ‘The Centre for Human Communication’ in England. This gentleman had spent many years in India learning not only Hatha Yoga but also studying Sanskrit, which I loved. I was able, through his teaching of Sanskrit, to gain an understanding of the meaning of the language of yoga. It was then that I began to consider the connection between Yoga, particularly Hatha Yoga, and self confidence.
Along with my studies and practice of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy and the psychology of Hatha Yoga I have developed my remarkable course available as a set of 5 CD’s or as MP3 download from my web site; Gain Self Confidence.
This course, as are all my other courses, is in depth and detailed sufficient to bring about lasting Self Confidence for you.
To achieve this depth and for you to get resolution, you will need to allow 30 minutes a day for 40 days.
Before we go any further we need to remind ourselves of the meaning of the Sanskrit words yoga and Hatha, since this will enable us to begin to learn about the absolute and inspiring connection with self confidence, and our infinite potential.
Yoga means oneness, unity, perfection. And Hatha, meaning the realm of duality, contains two words ha and tha. In Sanskrit ha – is the sun, the noumenal, and tha – is the moon, the phenomenal.
Unity means yoga, and yoga means unity.
The connection between Yoga and self confidence
If like many others, you lack self confidence, then this normally means that there is a lack of unity within yourself that causes the dissension and disharmony with the world around you. Unity needs to be experienced within our self in order to experience yoga, or unity with the world around you.
The question for me therefore from all those years ago was…
“How does our lack of confidence or lack of belief come about and how can we grow to a state of unity, yoga, from a state of duality, Hatha?”
Jung teachings state that the anima (the feminine component, or ha in both males and females) and animus (the masculine component, tha, also in both males and females) act as guides to the unconscious unified self, (yoga) and that forming an awareness and a connection with the anima and animus is one of the most rewarding steps in psychological growth.
This means that the lack of unity between our anima and animus fundamentally contributes to our lack of self confidence – let me give you some examples:
Our animus states: I want to apply for that job; I want to give that performance. Our anima hides with: ‘Oh, I can’t, I can’t….’
Our anima will state: I will make that speech, I will give that presentation. Our animus declares ‘No way….’
Now we are stuck, we have an inner turmoil, which will prevent us from taking our desired action. We feel angry at our failure, or we feel withdrawn so metaphorically speaking we put a bag over our heads, never to be seen again. We feel frightened or anxious and stagnate in the vicious cycle of an inner battle. We believe we are a failure as we have an inner communication breakdown which literally blocks us from taking right action. We have an inner: ‘I want’ battling with an: ‘I can’t’.
So, you may be wondering, “What, has this to do with self confidence?”
The dictionary informs us that confidence is: belief in our abilities.
To achieve complete and inner harmonious confidence about any ability, we need one hundred percent belief in our self. Practically speaking how can we change the: ‘I want – but I can’t’ and bring about inner belief, certainty, harmony and therefore confidence?
In terms of our Hatha Yoga practice we can consider and ponder upon the fact that much of Hatha Yoga practice is designed to free our inner communication blocks.
Hatha yoga is the method by which we can transcend the opposites of our inner life and achieve oneness, no more push, pull, I want, I can’t turmoil. This will mean unity of our mind and therefore a perfect stability of our action. Hatha yoga practices and discipline our Asana’s, (postures and exercises) are to remove communication blocks, to harmonise our personality and to bring about a stillness and certainty of our mind. That being said, we will not gain the self confidence we need in certain aspects of our life through our practice of Asana’s. However, yoga will help you to balance and unify the energies of the mind and remove your communication blocks.
Now you know how to remove your communication blocks. My next blog will look at how my strategies on the Gain Confidence and Self Esteem course will help you clarify your self confidence goal, identify positive reasons to achieve you goal which will help to get you motivated, and thirdly believe that you will succeed.

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com  please feel free to contact me direct