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Archive for the ‘Media’ Category

The Rapha Therapy System & The Role of Metaphor

Monday, April 20th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I made myself smile hugely as I thought to call this video for you:
‘RAPHA IN ‘A NUTSHELL’!

Then realized you might not want to ‘go anywhere near’ what’s in a nut shell – the nut!! (the link to the video is at the bottom of this page)
Well: that idiom means: to ‘describe in as few words as possible’.
And – yeah…. I’ve done it! The video is 7 and a half minutes as I know your time is precious – and you are busy I’m sure.
So I’d say this video is BIG NEWS! – a rare opportunity for me to describe for you – in a ‘nut shell’!!! – my 30 years of rigorous, robust, enjoyable work and passion to fulfill my Vision to create my RAPHA Therapy System – which permanently – (worth repeating) – permanently – Resolves mind-emotional problems, suffering and ‘pain’.
Here’s my understanding of RAPHA:
RAPHA Rocks!
And, when you journey with me on one of my RAPHA Audio Courses – (take a look at my available courses –  there are more to come) – you take a safe, rewarding, self-empowering journey into your very own inner worlds – you mobilise your own dormant or hidden inner strengths, resources, and inner self certainty – changing your thinking and your feelings and how you are, so you celebrate your life ‘in your skin’.
Gary Hogg has said a number of times: “It’s a fun journey!”
As you’ve perhaps got to know me – you’ll know that I am not interested in ‘quick, fast therapy’ – it does not last!
I want lasting success for you.
You also possibly know me as a really, really upbeat person? Which perhaps can socially get a bit tedious for others when they’re down or in a grump – and I focus on the light and the bright in life!
Well, I am really upbeat recently as we have just topped making connections with and reaching out to over a million people worldwide. Awesome!
Next time we’ll have a short video for you of me and ‘Scoff’ – an amazing young man who has been working with my RAPHA Audio Course ‘Solutions to Stress’.
If you’re anything like me – a small warning – Scoff will move you to a few tears – of relief!
Wishing you every success and the freedom to happily be your self………….
So … the Video: It’s here- the Four Stages to Permanent Resolution of Your Problem
Please email me privately any time I’d love to hear from you sally@sally-stubbs.com
Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy  “Cures that Endure”

 

Kevin Fernihough Radio Cumbria 1 May 2014 discussing phobias with me

Thursday, May 1st, 2014

AN ODE TO “AND”

Wednesday, October 17th, 2012

 

Sally Stubbs

In a minute we’re going to discuss ‘and’ – with some seriousness – and we’ll have a bit of fun as well! A client recently had this fabulous metaphor for her protector Restrainer. She said it was like she could see herself as an Olympic athlete (emotionally and psychologically that is!) She’s on the starting blocks she’s raring to go!
And her protector Restrainer is like massive bungee cords attached to her back.
Holding her back.
Keeping her safe.
She was thrilled with her metaphor, which may sound strange to you.
What she felt was an immeasurable amount of energy there to be released. And, here’s a great thing, she saw that instead of, once she’s released, there just being a way forward along the prescribed track, there’s an entire stadium and territory beyond the stadium to explore!!
She and I together are in the exciting process of negotiating with the bungee cords – for her imminent release…….
This is her unique epistemological metaphor for her protector Restrainer – your metaphor and your drawing or drawings will be entirely unique to you.

“Ode to And” – is a phrase coined beautifully by Cei Davies, who was the late great David Groves wife and professional partner. Cei worked continuously at David’s side developing Clean Language, Epistemological Metaphor and oh so much more.
Cei says of And: “…….and is an adjunctive for two or more incompatible elements. “……I love him – and – he did that to me…..” ‘And’, allows both experiences to co-exist.”
Let’s consider the serious value of, in day to day communications with others and with our self, replacing some of our ‘but’ words with ‘and’.
‘But’ tends to end something rather than add something!
‘But’ tends to negate something rather than leave another avenue to explore.
“You did a good job – but – you can do better…..”
How does this feel to you?
How about this?
“You did a good job – and – you can also do an even better job……”
“I want to go for a walk – but – its cold rainy weather…….”
“I want to go for a walk – and – its cold rainy weather – and – I can get my water proofs on – and – an umbrella – and – a flask with a hot drink…….”
Worth our consideration – the ‘but’ in our life being replaced, some times, with ‘and’.
Bread – but – no jam
Bread – and – jam!
Cake – but – don’t eat it
Cake – and – eat it!
In relationship with our self – (which by the way is the most important relationship because to gain or regain harmony with our self frees us to have harmony fully in relationship with another) – the ‘and’ word is empowering.
We say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – but – I make mistakes……” Intelligent and mistakes are not co-existing because of the ‘but’ – so we feel our life is about our mistakes!
What happens when we say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – and – I make mistakes…..” We now have the potential to explore both worlds of intelligent and of mistakes.
So here’s a bit of fun for us, let me have your story or Ode – to ‘And’ by the 5th November on my private email: sally@sally-stubbs.com
For the best story or Ode to ‘And’ there will be a gift of any one of my 40 Day Courses, on 5 CD’s.
I really look forward to your stories or Ode to ‘And’.
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
www.sally-stubbs.com

My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

BBC Radio Cumbria – Kevin’s Pigeon Phobia

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Kevin Fernihough – Fear of Pigeons

On Monday I was talking to BBC Radio Cumbria Presenter, Kevin Fernihough,who has a phobia of pigeons dating back to when he was four years old.  He was invited, along with his father, into his neighbour’s pigeon loft where, when the pigeons were released, he clung to his father’s leg in fear. This fear has stayed with him through to his adult life.

You can hear the extract from Kevin Fernihoughs Radio Cumbria program here – 12-08-06 Kevin Fernihough Pigeon phobia

Do you have a phobia?   This page on my web site has details on how to Fix Your Phobia  don’t delay, it only takes 30 minutes each day for 40 days to be CURED

You will be a most welcome visitor.

Sally Stubbs

Rapha-Hypnosis.com

sally@sally-stubbs.com – please do not hesitate to contact me direct

Sally Discussing Phobias on BBC Radio Cumbria

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Karens food poisoning phobia

Monday, 26th March 2012:- Interesting interview with a lovely lady called Karen who has a phobia regarding food poisoning which related to an incident when she was 4 years old and her family were  bedridden with food poisoning, now nearly 40 years old and she still struggles with the concept of getting food poisoning and consequently has an unhealthy relationship with food, I am sure I can help her, it is never too late to get help with a phobia or anything else that is concerning you in your life.  I have courses available, either one to one or audio, or you can contact me via the website and I will assist you all I can.

Sally Stubbs

Ditch your Demons – The Unconscious Mind

Friday, November 25th, 2011
Hypnosis

Using hypnotherapy to ditch your demons

A very warm welcome, and thanks for reading……..

Have we really given serious thought as to exactly ‘where’ our ‘demons’ come from? And then, our next question needs to be ‘what’ exactly are our demons?

These two questions, I warn you, are my special Soap Box, so I make no apologies for being controversial! Controversial is great in my book, because when we think differently from the usual, we get unusual results!

Let’s just consider the second question, just briefly first, (and in more detail later): What are our ‘demons’?
Our ‘demons’ are the thoughts, beliefs and feelings we have that ‘freeze’ us, that stop us ‘dead in our tracks’ that create destruction in the quality of and the celebration of our life.
Thoughts, beliefs and feelings such as fear, nervousness, panic, anger, fury, self doubt, lack of self worth…… exhaustion…… Our list can go on and on……..

So, where do these debilitating, destructive thoughts, beliefs and feelings come from? Well, before we consider the answer to this question, let’s, first of all, ditch our blame culture! Let’s stop blaming our parents, siblings, education, bad relationships, the government, the weather……….
Just go along with me here, and take our first step on a vitally important journey to ‘ditch’ the demons by owning them! By owning them we can then resolve them. They, the demons, come from our own unconscious. If you think about this for a few minutes, it makes sense. You see we do not consciously want to live in dread, thinking and feeling nervous, scared, fearful, tired of it all, hopeless.
Basically we all consciously want to feel and think and be up-beat, optimistic, happy!

OK, our demons reside in our unconscious mind and my speciality, my absolute passion, for the past thirty years has been to devote myself to learning the language, and the ability, to communicate elegantly and successfully with our unconscious mind.
And that basically is what hypnotherapy does – communicates in the language of the unconscious.

Some hypnotherapists today still generally believe that we can say, state, suggest, demand: ‘Demons leave!’ as if speaking to an uninvited, unwelcome visitor in our home! I know this unfortunately isn’t true.
If this type of communication worked to ditch our demons, our best friend or our hairdresser could do this for us, and I’d be out of a job! You know, I wouldn’t mind at all being out of a job, because that would mean we could all of us celebrate our life with a sense of optimism, hope for our future and happiness.
Behind every face we see there are worlds within worlds within worlds of the unconscious mind, and within those worlds reside our demons. We can ‘ditch’ them all when we learn to communicate with them, which may sound to you totally counter intuitive! Let me tell you more about my own special method of hypnosis, which truly does work, next time.

Thanks for listening.

Thinking of you fondly – Sally.

ANGRY CHILDREN?

Wednesday, October 5th, 2011

SPARE THE ROD – SPOIL THE CHILD

Sparing discipline (“the rod”) creates an undisciplined (“spoiled”) child.

Difficult and destructive behaviours associated with poor discipline are on the increase. Some parents have become discipline idlers – maybe because they are too tired, too busy, have no time to stand up to their youngster’s problematical ways.

Are parents ‘giving in’ for the sake of instant, albeit short lasting, peace?  Do some parents believe in the ‘latest ideas’ about how to raise happy children rather than instil sensible order!?

The word “discipline,” coming from the Greek root, implies educating, not punishment.

Punishing a child will cause emotional and psychological wounding; a ‘wounded’ child will not thrive. A wounded child can express their hurt and pain as resisting any rules from parents. However children will not just become disciplined, they need a top teacher. They need parent to teach them what is correct and what is not. Teaching discipline, on behalf of a child’s well being is not straightforward, because children are really complex small people.

For our children’s sake, for their future happiness, success, self respect, and respect for others we parents need to be outstanding models. We parents need to be disciplined about our lives. If we are not disciplined how can we expect our children to be?

So let’s take a courageous look at our own discipline? Can we improve? Probably! Improvement will lead us adults to feel happier, more creative and productive, and guide our children, who will want to model us, because they will respect us. They in turn will feel respected and be respectful and successful.

TOP TIPS FOR TOP PARENTING

Let your younger children know that they do not rule the family, you do, and that you always have the last say! Your children will feel and be more secure, they may not like what you have to say, but their inner stability relies on you being reliably decisive.

Children need boundaries, and they will continuously be testing the boundaries. Top parents will allow their children, once they are old enough to have the vocabulary, to express their opinions. Parents will listen attentively, they will give space to their children to be able to disagree with them. And then having, (when appropriate), taken everything their child has said into consideration, make the final decision.

A child needs to know, be shown and be told, that they are important.  They also need to be taught that everyone else is important, and everyone else has rights.

If your child is old enough to yell ‘abusively’ at you, then your child is old enough to be quiet! If your child is old enough to spend money then your child is old enough to not spend money! Whatever your child is old enough to do, they are also old enough to not do! You can effectively teach them this principle.

Younger children do not need lengthy explanations and reasons about your ‘last word’ Your last words can sometimes be your only words, because often, the only thing that will be ‘reasonable’ to your youngster is what they want! “Now listen darling fire is really hot you must not touch it. If you do your skin will blister and be really painful. Blisters are……” Just say calmly and firmly, (your tone needs to be fierce tenderness, often these days called ‘tough love’): “Get away from there!

Parents, you need to be in charge, if you don’t take charge your children will!

Your voice needs to be reliably, consistently calm, don’t shout “Calm down!!”, speaking calmly will mean you are leading, and you will sooner or later ‘lead’ your child to be calm.

Take every opportunity to validate your children. Your validation makes your child feel valued as a person, and makes them feel that they are accepted and feel

calm. Children’s brains are ‘hard wired’ to seek acceptance. If they do not receive acceptance from parents, they can feel driven to find it in a peer group that may lead them sadly astray…….

Enter their world! This strategy looks manipulative. It is. But you have a good, right purpose, which is to guide your child into a happier, healthier, safer world. When your child has become involved in a ‘dangerous’ world: clubs, drugs, sex….then you must ‘appear’ to be really interested! Enquire with questions congruently as if you really want to get to know their world. You have to be elegant about this! But your interest puts you firmly back into a power position, for all the right reasons. It’s called ‘building bridges’. You place ‘one foot’ in their world with your interest, and you keep your ‘other foot’ firmly in the safe, right world. Your child will then feel they can keep their ego intact and rejoin you in your world.

Here Comes Happiness

Tuesday, July 5th, 2011
The wheel of happiness can spin for you

Let the wheel of happiness spin for you!

We all want to be happy, right? But sometimes, when you have a disagreement with your other half or your boss pulls you up at work, it can be hard to feel the love. Read my book, If Life Gives You Lemons (Gibson Square, Dhs48) and along with practical and mental exercises, reading just one sentence of positive thought a day can boost your happiness overall. Research has proven that the brain reacts biochemically to upbeat thoughts,  so when injesting positive prose for 10 seconds a day, serotonin is released for an automatic ‘up’ state. A smiley new you awaits.

STEP 1: BELIEVE
Happiness is fuelled by your own thoughts of what you believe about yourself. “When you look at your beliefs, chances are that phrases like ‘I’m a failure/ I’m stupid/ I’m worthless’ will come to mind,” face these and see that they’re wrong. “Write the belief down and, next to each one, write down a reason as to why the belief is not true. Keep looking at the reason – over and over again – and soon you’ll see that it comes with no justification.”
SMILE BOOSTING SENTENCE: “If you don’t see yourself as a winner, then you cannot perform as a winner.” Zig Ziglar.
STEP 2: TIME FOR A CHAT
Think about how your best friend speaks to you. They’re nice to you, yes? Now it’s time to speak to yourself in the same way. “When you listen to the way your internal voice chats to you it’s likely that it’s littered with negative statements like ‘You’re stupid’ which is terrible for your self-belief.”  When the negative statements start, imagine what your best friend would say to you. “By listening to destructive mental chatter you’re subconsciously blocking serotonin, which means happiness won’t happen.”
SMILE BOOSTING SENTENCE: “If we treated everyone we meet with the same affection we bestow upon our favourite cat, they too would purr.” Martin Buxbaum.
STEP 3: GET A BALANCE
I recommend this martial arts-based technique as a bid to create a more focused balance in your body and mind:
1. Stand up straight with your feet facing forward and a hip width apart. Make sure there is space in front and behind you.
2. Keep your head up, shoulders relaxed, arms by your side and consider this stance to be your state of inner balance.
3. Allocate one side of your body to the word ‘yes’ and the other to ‘no’.
4. Think about incidences in your life – from a remark your boss made, to sticking to a diet plan.
5. With each incidence, for each one that felt positive take a step forward leading with the ‘yes’ side of your body saying ‘YES’ out loud. For every one that feels negative take a step back with your ‘no’ side of the body, saying ‘NO’ out loud. Doing this will show how much balance you have in life and what you need to address to maintain stability. An unhealthy state would be moving forward too fast without control, or too far back and ending in the corner. You need to find the middle ground.
SMILE BOOSTING SENTENCE: “If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one.” Robert Brault.
STEP 4: FIND A SPACE
Worries and fears can be suffocating and when living with them all the time they can make the air around you toxic, but my research has found that by finding a clean space your happiness levels lift. Get yourself to the local park, wander along a riverbank or visit an art gallery. Likewise, the physiological changes in your body when laughing – the movement of your facial muscles – are enough to enhance your spirits. Even just thinking of a joke will produce a natural high and the boost you need.
SMILE BOOSTING SENTENCE: “If you’re not using your smile, you’re like a man with a million dollars in the bank and no cheque book.”
Les Giblin.
STEP 5: DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE
My studies have found that every human has a sense that their life has a purpose and to find true happiness you need to work out what your purpose is. Okay, this might sound as easy as attracting the affections of George Clooney, but, once you start practicing the tips above, your purpose will come. Whether it’s to be a good mum or to be at peace with yourself, it will become clear because when you think about it, it’ll make you feel happy.
SMILE BOOSTING SENTENCE: “If you want to be happy, be.” Leo Tolstoy.

BE HAPPY IT ONLY TAKES 10 SECONDS PER DAY, TRY IT FOR YOURSELF, IT IS WORTH THE EFFORT!

Being As Confident As You Are!

Monday, June 13th, 2011

We can become more confident by practising yoga, especially Hatha Yoga.

If we consider the Sanskrit words ‘yoga’ and ‘Hatha’, we can discover inspiring connections with self confidence and our infinite potential. Yoga meaning oneness, unity, perfection and Hatha, meaning the realm of duality, contains two words: ‘ha’ and ‘tha’. In Sanskrit ‘ha’ – is the sun, the noumenal and ‘tha’ – is the moon, the phenomenal.

You can read the full article in Yoga Magazine, out now in all good stores!

Steps to Happiness in your Sixties

Friday, June 3rd, 2011

I am sixty, and my plan is to be around, and healthy on our amazing planet for at least another forty years! Do you have a plan?
My plan is eminently doable. Maybe you are now, or are about to go through a life change? Your children, ‘flying the nest’ or retirement from your job? So perhaps life is looking kind of bleak, are you possibly feeling a bit empty, asking your self what’s the purpose?

I want to share some solid, scientific information with you as to how my plan is doable. First be happy! Studies now show that people who are happier in their lives have healthier levels of key body chemicals than those who are focused on negative feelings. This means happier people can have healthier hearts and cardiovascular systems, and generally lessen their risk of diseases.

I feel to reassure you that I am not naïve about the state of happiness! And sometimes in life it is right and appropriate to be sad. One of my eminent teachers, a professor of psychology, who really knows her stuff, for which I have total respect and gratitude, used to drive us students ‘nuts’! As every morning, before her lecture, she would chant loudly and energetically: “Be happy, happy, happy…..”

We students preferred a more tranquil happiness, or a humorous grumble, especially first thing in the morning!

Happiness for all of us is different, it can be a steady state of optimism shifting to those times of high energy enthusiasm and in between these two states there are all the nuances of cheerfulness. I recently said to a local decorator: “Wow, that is a fabulous job!” He rubbed his chin and replied: “Aye, it’ll do.” I asked: “What do you say when something is really brilliant?” He said: “Aye, it’ll do”!

The simple truth about happiness is that it comes from within. We can learn to choose to be happy even when the external ‘weather’ is bad or harsh. We don’t have to wait for the Spring to arrive or a wedding or a trip!

So, how can we look forward to the next forty years of inner tranquillity, optimism, cheerfulness, happiness? We can choose how we are perceiving and thinking about any situation or experience in any given moment. We can slow down our minds for a few moments observe our thought pattern responses and those thoughts that do not have a celebration of life quality we can ‘delete’ and change.

Have you heard of neurogenisis, the growth and formation of new nerve, or brain cells? Research in current neuroscience indicates, contrary to 100 years of dogma, that our human brain is capable of generating new brain cells throughout our life cycle.

Another of my teachers, Dr Ernest Rossi states: “The psychological precedes the physical. The mind drives the body, which drives the genome.”

There are three activities or behaviours which are key to connecting psychological experiences that optimize gene expression, neurogenesis, and healing.

These three activities or behaviours are what we need to incorporate into our every day life so that we can keep on growing our brain (neurogenisis).

Novelty

Experience something novel and new in your every day life. I did not get ‘novelty’ at first, until Dr Rossi called it “The new and fascinating” One thing that I do is to really see and be fascinated by the light and colours constantly shifting and moving on the rocks and stones in our garden.

Environmental Enrichment

Enrich your environment; you’ll know how to do this. I do this with perhaps a fabulous photograph or flowers, a fascinating piece of driftwood. Have some simple natural things around you and give them your attention so you will feel enriched, or have amazing works of art or science (I believe my husband would love to have his motor bike in our living room, which would really enrich the environment for him!)

Physical Exercise

You don’t need to be an athlete! The wondrous Dr Milton Erickson, who is considered to be the grand father of Psychotherapy and Hypnotherapy, was wheel chair bound in his later years due to a recurrence of polio. Dr Erickson exercised by preparing the families vegetables every evening.

These three things need only take minutes in your day, but, like me you might find you spend twenty minutes on each every day, as you will so enjoy this time, and the amazing benefits of growing new brain cells!

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