A father telephoned me and said that he and his wife could not cope with their daughter’s habit any longer – and would I see the girl.
I said yes – only if you ask first – that she will want to choose to see me. Her choice of course. She was aged 15 at the time. She could have been age 8, the same applies, it must, even for a youngster, be their choice.
She wanted to speak with me on the phone first, and check me out. At the end of our nearly an hour on the phone she said she thought: I was Mint! How ace is that!
She did – I am happy to say want to – come along to see me, do some Work with me.
I did say on the phone that my half an hour a day for 40 CD or MP3 course
Gain Self Esteem & Self Confidence would work for her. She said she wanted to see me!
The parents brought the girl – They said that she constantly, everywhere chewed on her tongue – which was really annoying to them. The point is: Did it really annoy the girl and did she want to cease, not especially for her parents ‘peace of mind’ – did she want to stop for her self. Fortunately (for the parents) that was her goal.
I told the parents that they must leave the room so that the girl and I could Work in private.
We Worked on – what was driving her tongue chewing habit – we discovered that her problem was her annoyance at certain others. She wasn’t annoyed with her parents by the way. We did some very clean elegant Work on resolving her annoyance
Next I wanted to be able to really access her Annoyance – so –
I said: “YOU ARE PATHETIC”
And the kid really got annoyed and chewed harder and harder on her tongue.
I went on to say:
“ Can – YOU BE CLEVER – and stop wasting your tongue chewing everywhere and on everyone.”
I said: “Decide who really annoys you. Then every evening sit as close as you can to your parents – and chew your tongue – really hard – for seventeen minutes.
Watch the time – watch your watch – or watch the clock – make it seventeen minutes.
Be noisy – do it properly with all the gusto you’ve got. You could growl and snarl.
If you cannot sit next to both parents – then you will have to do them one at a time.
That way – YOU CAN BE SMART – and – BE CONFIDENT.
You can chew hard – and growl and snarl for thirty-four minutes – every evening.
Each day at school – choose one of those people that annoys you – BE SMART – don’t waste your chewing over hundreds of others – choose the ones who annoy you.
Go and chew next to the chosen one for the whole of your break time – Every day this can be a different person. If you run out of people that annoy you – well – just start over.
Chew hard and snarl real low, so no one will hear you, for the whole of your break – every day.
Well – I tell you – that kid – she soon got fed – up – she soon felt really restricted – So – she joined the debating club instead. There were some great subjects for her where she could really positively channel her verbalized succinct annoyance. And she had fun.
She came back to see me – and said: I LIKE YOU…. Which from a kid – who I had told a while back – YOU ARE PATHETIC…. Is true praise. She gave me praise – and I truly wanted to give her praise – I said: YOU ARE SO BRIGHT….. and she responded – YOU ARE CONFIDENT….. and it wasn’t a question. Next….. it felt like together we were weaving something marvelous and tangible – like the real fabric of life – as I ADDED LOVELY THREADS – and did MAKE CONNECTIONS….. I also said – yes and –YOU ALSO ARE NOW MORE AND MORE CONFIDENT….. which is not open to debate.
We talked about what had all that tongue tied – all that chewed up stuff been about…..and agreed – there is no need to know – it is all in the past…….
We also agreed that debate helps….. YOU BECOME FREE…. Helps YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE CERTAIN…… that it is totally wonderful to BE YOURSELF….. EXPRESS YOUR POINT OF VIEW….. and know that from any view point there are at least 360 degree angle…….
I will look forward to seeing her again – just so we know – IT IS SO GOOD TO THINK DIFFERENTLY….
*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A. – cutting edge: clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual – which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation – being happily, fully one’s self.