Getting to Know More Abour Your Restrainer
Now here’s a case in point, if you want to create a disturbed person –
then: Consistently criticise them!
And consistently do not give them good (outstanding) emotional support.
It isn’t ‘rocket science’! It is however now validated by our amazing Neuroscience!
Does the above sound similar to what your Restrainer has being up to – maybe for years!
Hitting you with negative criticism, withdrawing emotional support of you?
In which case in point….
You may have thought that I was partially bonkers to suggest that you ‘get to know’ your Restrainer!
I’m not bonkers! Well…………….only sometimes!! Ask Mike!!
I totally urge you to get on and get to know your Restrainer!
Make peace together.
Does this still seem and feel counter intuitive to you?
Anyway, let’s stopping messing around, let’s stop procrastinating!
Do please get your note book – spend a few minutes each day with your Restrainer, ‘listen’ to it. It may sound to you that your Restrainer is putting you down, or even urging you to an action that you know is illogical or exhausting. You may also feel it in you body, maybe your chest or your throat…..
Here are extra ‘Golden Bullets’ to urge you on!
• Get to know your Restrainer (All of my courses on CD or MP3 will assist you to do this)
• Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
• State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
• As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it, either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed….. ‘But’ if I do this, they will be hurt – then I’m left with guilt – so – better not to do this…..)
And the four new Golden Bullets:
1. Differentiate the Restrainer ‘voice’ which is yours as it were, that is a ‘voice’ you know belongs to you and is therefore a protector – from the ‘something’ which it believed ‘unsafe’ You’re differentiating the ‘voice’ of your protector Restrainer from the ‘voices’ of, usually well meaning, adults in your earlier life. Check these beliefs that came into your psychology – and do not belong to you. (These voices will often have the You can’t – You should – You shouldn’t……)
2. Make two different lists one of your protector Restrainer and one of the, albeit well meaning, beliefs of others.
3. If the voices of others do not celebrate or validate your life make a firm decision to delete them.
4. I’ll eat my hat for you if you do not find this a most valuable thing to do! And you’re most welcome to email me any questions privately.
• Simply say to your protector Restrainer (from your list): ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
• Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
• Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have a part appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being what you really wanted to be to protect you from the, well meant, wrath of your family who insisted you became an accountant!) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
• Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please visit me – and us at www.sally-stubbs.com there’s lots of ‘gold’ for you……
……………….Thinking of you warmly,
Cures that Endure
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