Do you perhaps remember me talking about the lady with the kind heart, Bernice, from the Sowf* of England, (*as we Norferners affectionately say!!) who is aged 68. She Worked intensely with me one to one for a week.
After our last Session she leant towards me and said: “You are the most intelligent person I’ve ever met…” I was pleased and said: “Thank you” But she was intent on getting her message thru’ to me so she smiled, like I was a kid who wasn’t really listening to her and said: “I mean you are thee most intelligent person I’ve ever met!” And her words then fully ‘entered’ me.
This is a whole subject for us for another time:
Where do the ‘emotional’ words that people say to us go to?
As always I have a million thanks to Bernice, and anyone who I Work with face to face or on my audio courses, because I learn and learn and learn from you all.
Ain’t that Grand, to learn more and more that is important and new and different and ‘healing’ and successful, every day?
What did Bernice teach me? She reinforced this: My Work cures problems. Does my Work need reinforcement? Constantly it does, so that I can and will continue to improve it, as did David Grove. As does Dr Rossi and many others……..
Here’s a little of Bernice’s story.
She had an awful childhood, and then she suffered horrific emotional violence during her marriage, there was hardly any of her self left when she came to me.
All her life she had been told what to do, made to be what others wanted from her and wanted her to be.
Since she had finally found outstanding strength, 15 years ago, to end her marriage and walk away, Bernice had seen lots of different therapists to try and get resolutions to her inner pain. She had even travelled to other countries in search of a therapist to assist her to her resolutions. I am, as always, awed by the strength of Bernice to make such effort.
But, every therapist she saw, told her what she should do, and what she ought to do. The Muppets!
Surely even those amongst us who are traditional therapists, the therapists who believe in diagnosis, who believe in suggestions, and giving analysis, and giving advice, who believe that problems are resolved by telling people what they should and shouldn’t do – would at least have heard Bernice’s cry: “I’m sick that for, my entire life, I’ve been told what I should and shouldn’t do!”
Oh yeah, a vital point to add to this ‘flow’ from me, Bernice had told the many therapists that she was really angry with the ex-husband for his cruelty, and the therapists, all of them, had told her she should not be angry, she should forgive!
An aspect of the amazing skill of my Work is; my Work never tells someone what to do, there are no shoulds or shouldn’ts, nor does my Work give advice or suggestion. This may well sound weird to you! Like I do nothing! When in fact I’m working my ‘butt off’ with and for everyone I Work with.
Bernice told me that her reasons and her purpose to cure her pain (she did a lot of swearing for a gentle woman): “My life is about three quarters the way through, and it’s been Sh*t. I want the last quarter of my life to be Fun; I want another 20 years of life, more if I can, to have my own power and to accept my self, and be free to be me.”
The ‘core’ of Bernice’s pain was her anger. Her anger did not actually ‘belong’ to a young married woman who was the ‘victim’ of psychological and emotional abuse from her husband. Her anger had it’s antecedents in an emotionally painful experience when she was 18 months old, and again when she was age 11.
Are you wondering if an 18 month old child can experience the ‘pain’ of anger?
Yes, they can!
And the ‘pain’ invariably gets repressed by the unconscious mind, because the unconscious mind does not know what to do with these kinds of overwhelming emotions; ‘repression’ is an unconscious protective mechanism.
For Bernice, and for many of us, (including my self) the pain of repressed anger needs to be honoured, needs to be understood and needs the exact right, elegant strategy to ‘move it on’ and transform it.
I feel more details on this, another time when I write to you, will be useful?
I also feel that what I’ve been saying today, you ‘get it’
My Work respects it, honours it and assists that fury to transform.
Today, the kid in me is going to be ‘colouring in’ on our new site. And also Mike, Judith and I will be adding some nourishing ‘cakes’ for you…..
When we have the next revision I’ll let you know.
Until then you can see more information on my audio treatments on www.sally-stubbs.com
Thinking of you warmly
My personal and private e mail: email@example.com