Remember Amy – and her mother Kate?
Amy is in a new and happy relationship with Ted. They have been living contentedly and lovingly together for a few months.
Amy has a history of her father, who was a hard working man and loyal to his family, often coming home late from his job.
Amy’s Mum, Kate, was a woman who was protective of her family. Kate had been adopted when she was two and half years old. Kate had been seriously neglected as a baby by her parents who would leave their terrified baby to go out drinking.
Every time Amy’s Dad was late home from work, the young Amy witnessed and felt the furious and accusing response from Kate, her Mum, to her Dad.
Kate was being triggered into her ‘baby’ response of being terrified when she had a perception that she was being ‘abandoned’. No rational brain thinking such as: “My husband is devoted to us & he is looking after us by earring overtime……” can free Kate from her Unconscious response. Neither will such poppy cock as mind ‘control’ & mind ‘re-programming’, relaxation, EFT, CBT, ever resolve Kate’s response of terror. What will definitely cure Kate’s terror is Freeing & healing the wounded ‘child’ within her. My kind of Work!
Amy’s unconscious, when she was a small child, learnt to believe that this is the behaviour that must happen when you’re man is late home…..
Five months into Amy’s relationship living with Ted, he is late home.
Amy cannot get him on his mobile.
Amy’s conscious rational mind tries to consider that Ted is stuck in traffic, Ted has bumped into a mate and gone for a quick pint he hasn’t noticed the time, the battery is flat on Ted’s mobile….. and so on and so on…………..
But Amy’s unconscious mind has a perception, (which was learnt from her Mum’s behaviour,) her learnt belief kicks in automatically, as beliefs do, that Ted is abandoning and betraying her.
Amy, if you remember resolved this inner controlling of responses & behaviours belief, Amy chose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Courses spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so for 10 days – on exploring and then deconstructing the depths of negative, destructive, self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual and their own life story & experiences.
Kate’s husband, John, that’s Amy’s Dad, only wanted a kiss and a smile on his return home! Kate’s ‘driving’ pain of terror of abandonment became so chronic and acute, that by the time Amy was a young teenager Kate was in a fury, even when John was home on time!
Maybe you’ve witnessed parallel behaviours in others in your life time? The more someone overeats – the more they overeat, the more sleepless someone is, the less and less they sleep, the more someone worries the more they worry, the more nervous someone is the more nervous they become, the more angry………… Why?
Simplistically, the more we use that neural net – the more that neural net is instantly activated. The Great News! (Which we did not have ‘proof’ off ‘til around 3 decades ago) The neural net is not hard wired. We can change it. To do that we need to HEAL the problematic emotions – in Kate’s experience the emotion was Terror – at being abandoned. In a baby’s case – the Terror is of death. That is a monumentally huge terror.
Kate came to Work with me, urged by Amy I must say, who’d told Kate about my 40 day Course.
Kate is pretty & blonde. To begin with her head was bent most of the time and eye contact was rare. One of the first things Kate said was: “I’m too old to change, I don’t think – you can really help.” At the time Kate was 54.
I elegantly assured her – we’re never too old.
Now, here is something that will really interest you. Kate said: “I know I have some horrible feelings deep inside me, but I do not have the memories.”
You don’t need to have the memories to heal and free a wounded, stuck, lost, part of your self. The feelings, tho’ indeed horrible ‘guide’ to the healing of the feelings.
Kate did just that in our Work together, she found and freed and healed her self.
Is Kate happy now? Is John happy now? Oh, Yes!
Oh, and thank you for the ideas for our documentary film. Brilliant! Keep ‘em coming. Professor Kathryn Rossi & Dr Ernest Rossi have happily agreed to be involved – they’re doing an interview for us. That will be Mint!
Cures that Endure