I once heard a therapist, Tony Robbins, have you heard of him, talking about motivation. I liked what he had to say a lot. But, not totally!
He did say: ‘Never treat a client for free, as payment is part of the motivation!’
What I did like was Robbins saying that if we put in good effort we get bad, mediocre results.
If we put in outstanding effort we get great results. Effort gets born out of our energy, and energy comes from our ‘nailed down’ reasons and purpose to make the change.
We know all this stuff in terms of a sports coach. The coach does not sit behind their newspaper with a cuppa and a ciggie saying languidly: “yeah, if you want, do another rep……”
The coach is out there with us jumping around ‘barking’ commands. The coach knows their reasons inside out, the coach wants a winner. What else does the coach know? They want the satisfaction of having a winner, they want the accolades, they want people to be proud of their achievements (there wouldn’t be a winner without the greatness of the coach) they want their family to be proud of them, they want promotion, they want………. Loads more reasons………… Their reasons could be entirely altruistic, maybe they do not want to be in the ‘lime light’, their reasons could well be that their athlete/team have suffered as the ‘underdog’ and the coach wants their athletes to prove that the world was wrong! Proving ‘the world wrong’ is a mighty reason to achieve
. But, when we suffer an emotional or psychological problem, we pretty much have to be our own coach. No matter how encouraging our friends, colleagues, family may be, we’ve got to find our own energy from within.
That’s where I come in; I am an outstandingly good coach. I assist you to discover and feel and utilise your energy inside of you to be motivated to achieve.
My audio courses spend 10 minutes, or so, a day for 10 days, really getting into the details of reasons to make the changes from a problem state to a lasting goal state. You can make a start, whatever problem you choose to resolve, you can make a start on getting your energy ‘up’ to achieve the results you want. Write down your reasons to achieve your goal. Your reason could well be wholly or partly private. It’s always good to keep your writing private to begin with at least.
A great tip is to ask: What are my reasons to achieve ‘this’ my goal? Not: Why do I want to achieve ‘this’ my goal? Why questions tend to go around in circles when we are considering psychological and emotional problems.
Here’s a simple example: I want to sleep well What are my reasons to sleep well? (Go for your reasons, rather than ‘My wife/husband/parents will be happier …’)
• I want more energy.
• I want to have nice looking skin, instead of looking grey and drawn.
• I want to go out and socialise instead of being too exhausted…. I’m losing my friends……. I want to keep my friends……
• I want to stop being grumpy at work…..
• I want to stop being annoyed with my partner………..and so on……….
Next take each reason and ask: What’s my purpose in wanting more energy? A: Oh for goodness sake….. I will feel better!!! (Fair enough I want to feel better) What’s my purpose in wanting nice looking skin? A: Well, I feel more confident and buoyant with nice looking skin. This strategy may seem kindergarten stuff to you. It isn’t! Keep going with it, you’ll be surprised; some very different, deeper important reasons will emerge for you, and really get you ready to ‘roll up your sleeves’ and do something…….
Goal setting and gaining the deep insights into your reasons and purposes for achieving are vital first steps. Part of the next step is achieving the full on belief that you will achieve.
So much of our obstacles to achieving resolutions and permanent cure to problems are these deep unconscious beliefs that block our way to successful cure.
Thinking of you warmly.