Successful people ooze self confidence: this probably explains why so much psychological research has been done to identify what it is that all successful people have in common. And by successful, the research ranged from someone wanting to be successful in their home life, family, health, relationships, or creative work to the massive corporate businesses such as Bill Gates at Microsoft.
How to apply positive strategies… in order to successfully grow your own confidence you need to do three things:
Number 1 – know what you want: this means that you need to set yourself a comprehensive goal.
You may feel overwhelmed by the number of goals that you want to achieve. You need to take one goal at a time, perhaps a small one to begin with. Write it down; continue to refine your goal as you go along.
Number 2 – know your reasons or purposes to succeed as you need to know this in order to remain fully motivated.
This will help you to focus on your motivation for achieving your goal. As all behaviour has a purpose, behaviour does not have meaning as such, behaviour has purpose, knowing your own unique purposes to gain self confidence, will really ‘spring board’ you towards achieving your goal successfully.
Number 3 – you must believe that you will succeed.
Once you have these three things you will then have the self confidence to accomplish what you want.
You will need to work to change your negative beliefs. Our beliefs are driving a massive part of our behaviour. If we believe we can, we can. If we believe we can’t, we can’t.
Here are some practical tips on how to accomplish these tasks and use them to improve your self confidence.
Setting your goal
Always write your goal in the positive. Why? Because, simplistically our amazing brain will respond to an instruction to be calm, strong, and have inner harmony. Rather than responding to an instruction to not be nervous and tongue tied.
Our brain is amazing, but it will see and hear, ‘be nervous and tongue tied’. Just as you have done as you have been reading this!
Once you have decided what your goal is you need to speak your goal, out loud, several times. As you speak, the vitally important thing for you to do is to be very aware of any inner objections, (which will be negative beliefs,) either in your feelings or your thoughts. An objection could be something like a knotted stomach, or a negative ‘I can’t do that…’ thought.
Know your purpose
So, this is about you getting really focused and motivated, with loads of energy to move you onwards to successfully achieve your goal. As I’ve said, deeply knowing your own purposes will assist your motivation.
You may be thinking that your purposes to gain self confidence are obvious? No they aren’t, your purposes will contain nuances and fine details unique to you.
So, let us consider having the confidence to go for that job interview. Your goal is to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when you’re communicating with interviewers.
So, you need to then ask yourself: What is my purpose in wanting to be confidently calm and strong and feel inner harmony when I’m communicating with interviewers?
My example answer: This will really help me in my career.
Keep asking, to really get to your depth of purpose: What is my purpose in really wanting to get on with my career?
Answer: My family and friends will be proud of me.
I urge you to keep on asking the same question, and the same for each of your purposes, until you maybe get a ‘Ting’ moment, which gives you a deeper understanding of your purposes than you’d thought of before. In my simple example, the ‘Ting’ moment is like this: ‘Wow, I hadn’t realised that I want my family and friends to feel proud of me!’
I urge you to make notes about your purposes.
This is a very simplistic example, I so hope it lets you realise the depths and importance of really knowing your own purposes.
Believe in yourself
The problem with this is that many of our beliefs are unconscious, that is we do not consciously know we have them. How can you first know, and then deconstruct your unconscious negative beliefs, specifically about achieving your goal?
Seriously, achieving this can be tricky on your own; it can be like ‘pulling yourself up by your own boot laces’. You may want to consider my course on gaining self confidence which is assisting you to work comfortably with your own unconscious beliefs, an amazing thing to do. Unconscious belief systems can be tricky because the ‘language’ is of the unconscious.
Take your time to write notes by asking questions of all the objections. Ask: Where does that objection come from? As you learn the history of the negative beliefs, you will be able to deconstruct them.
Along with my studies and practice of hypnotherapy and psychotherapy I have developed my remarkable courses available as a set of 5 CD’s or as MP3 download from my web site:http://www.sally-stubbs.com/treatments-available-c-3
I wish you every success and an inner experience of unity, harmony and peace.