And a very good day to you.
Thank you so much for taking the time to ‘listen’ to me.
I’m still ‘mind blown’ by my last letter to you! The one I named ‘From the Mouths of Children’.
I’ve had loads of interesting 1:1 feedback, emails and a really supportive email from Canada! I find all that so exciting, and thank you ‘Canada’.
I am really thrilled that Louise-Weasel (her choice of name) is happy for me to share her wonderful thoughts with you in this email. Thank you Ms Weasel:
• “What an intriguing and amazing little girl – I would love to have been a fly on the wall for THAT conversation. How does she know these things? Is she an old soul in a young body? A wise old ME that has learnt through pain and therefore able to express herself with such clarity or an unblemished ME that hasn’t been hurt or excessively challenged and can therefore speak naively of such wondrous things?? I LOVE the rock analogy, I have always thought of my ME in terms of spots within my body not something that exists through my entire body but I now think that of course MEs exist throughout us with hot spots or troubling spots more obvious in certain places. Maybe our MEs are our life energy? Different layers and shapes and density of ME reflecting our well being in the environment within which we exist. Our bodies are the vehicles which transport our MEs. Finger prints are mostly static whereas MEs are able to change like a sort of energy depending on the circumstances. Anyways I feel rather shy about sharing my ramblings with you whom I view as THE ‘ORACLE’ on all such matters!”
I’ll quickly respond to one of Ms Weasels points and say that this little girl has been seriously; seriously challenged in her life – and – her ‘me’ has remained totally unblemished.
Erickson’s: “Trust your unconscious, it’s a delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.”
Whilst making coffee the other day Mike said: …. “It’s like this, go to the mug cupboard, get the coffee beans, grind the beans, walk to the fridge, get the milk, pour it……… sit down…… And all the time not one conscious thought is given to coffee making and the complexity of walking, use of muscles…. All the time I’m making coffee I’m having a conversation with you… The whole coffee making thing happens all by itself – unconsciously”.
Let’s really think about it! We can trust our unconscious!
So how does this work, the ‘trust our unconscious’ when we have a problem?
The problem must surely be being driven by our unconscious right? It’s an easy equation – we do not consciously want this problem therefore our problem must be being ‘driven’ from the unconscious!
This is exactly right. Which leads most of to believe our bl**dy unconscious is a ‘monster’. Incorrect belief!
Ok – let’s consider the semantics – instead of naming our problem a problem – lets name it – a symptom. (Whatever it may be – example: nervousness, lack of confidence, difficult relationship with food and all that these examples deeply contain for us such as concealed anger, feelings of shame or guilt, fears……….)
The symptom is being flagged up that ‘contained’ within the unconscious a problem – which our trusty unconscious wants us to resolve.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’.
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’.
The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct and resolve this problem, not the Therapist!
This problem originates as an imposed Restrainer – imposed upon this young person from well meaning adults. Added to this problem state is also a Protector Restrainer – ensuring this person will never speak up by producing a nervous panicky experience – as long as this person remains quiet – they will be safe from big trouble!
The trusty unconscious is also driving this nervous and panicky because in the un -differentiated information of the imposed Restrainer and the protector Restrainer is the unconscious drive to find the hiding or ‘lost’ ‘me’ – or part of ‘me’.
So, I’m wondering if: You will find time to make your own Restrainer lists and your drawings – which will assist you to Work with your trusty unconscious and find a hiding or ‘lost’ part of your ‘me’.
Have a listen to this 80’s classic on You Tube?
It starts: “Mirror in the bathroom please don’t freak the door is locked just you and me”….
• Lock your bathroom door – and say something really nice to your ‘me’!
Thinking of you warmly,
Cures that Endure
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