So we really do want to continue to talk together about our Unconscious mind.
We’ve already asked ourselves: why would we want to bother? And, why am I always banging on about the Unconscious mind?
Our Unconscious is worth us re-capping:
Because: Our Unconscious mind, is ‘driving’ at least 90 % of our life.
Because: Our Unconscious is our own mind – it is the ‘world’ we live in, it is our inner world from which we perceive the outer world, it is from our inner world that we respond to & react to the outer world. We need to get to know it, it’s ‘where we live’ our life.
Because: It is this part of our mind which drives our problem states. Makes sense doesn’t it? None of us consciously want our problem states, and it’s not the weather, the government, our boss or our partner, our parents who drives the problem, it is our Unconscious response. Right!
And therefore it could be considered to be understandable that that is why most every single therapeutic strategy that I come across, (and I promise you I research extensively to discover what current strategies schools of psychotherapy are advocating,) is attempting to ‘control’ & ‘re-programme’ the Unconscious.
Does it sound odd to you that: our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’
Here’s a very, very simplistic example of a strategy, widely used in Psychotherapeutic work for re-programming the mind:
Affirmation! Try it yourself.
Think of a simple problem that you have. We’ve all got something that we’d like to improve in our Unconscious – because happiness & inner contentment with life does not have a ceiling!
So pause right now – it will only take a few minutes maximum – think of a simple problem, maybe like nervousness of public speaking, turn your problem on ‘it’s head’ & make, pretty much a polar opposite, to the problem, affirmation.
Like this example: “I have a problem in that I feel too nervous to give a public speech or presentation, my stomach churns & my throat dries up, & I’d love to be able to speak up in front of others….”
“I am an acceptable person. My stomach & throat will be calm, & I will confidently speak up”
Will this affirmation for this person work, to re-programme the unconsciously driven nervousness at public speaking, when spoken or thought every day, several times a day, every 20 minutes through the day???
Not ‘in a month of Sunday’s will it ever work! (Not sure what ‘a month of Sundays is!! My Mum used to say it! And I knew what it meant! It meant never. She’d say: “Not ‘in a month of Sundays’ will I let you go into Manchester – dressed like that……”!!!)
What you will definitely notice – when you attempt to ‘re-programme’ your Unconscious – with your own personal affirmation – is inner, unconscious, resistance!
Resistance to your affirmation will manifest in your thoughts & probably in your feelings. Such as, your very next thought will be something like: “NO WAY…..” Probably followed by feelings in your body, maybe like a churning in the stomach, or a tightening of the throat, a stabbing in the heart, a heavy weight in the head….. and so and so on……..
Now, here’s the thing, Tah Dah, the resistance is absolutely the ‘key’ to unravelling deeply held negative beliefs. Honour the resistance & then differentiate out what got ‘ravelled’ into the negative self beliefs – & finally we are able to bring about lasting resolution
So, let’s, in light of my statement: “…..our Unconscious will want to resist being ‘controlled’ & will even resist being ‘programmed’ or ‘re-programmed’” – explore what happened to young Amy.
Amy ‘learnt’ her belief from her Mum’s behaviour that, basically, if you’re man is more than 3 minutes late home you’re being abandoned. Abandonment causes fear in a young unconscious mind.
Ted, Amy’s beloved partner, whenever he was late home from work, or from any outing, triggered the fear response which Amy had learnt as a child. No affirmation or logic will stop Amy’s fear.
The mild mannered, gentle Ted finally became so frustrated with Amy’s fury with him and next her withdrawal, that Amy’s “Sorry….” just did not ‘cut it’ any more. Ted upped & left. How sad is that. So sad.
Amy, I am delighted to say contacted me. We had a good 45 minutes on the phone. Next Amy choose to do my half an hour a day for 40 days Rapha* Course on CD “Have Harmonious Relationships”
All my Course spend at least 10 days – that is 10 minutes or so a day – on exploring the depths of negative self beliefs, which are pretty unique to every individual & their own life story & experiences. During those 10 days we also differentiate each negative belief ‘strand’ from the tangle of the negative belief system. And then we bring about lasting resolution – & then bring in a whole new appropriate & life affirming belief system. Good Hey……….
Amy phoned me a few weeks after she’d completed my course – she & Ted are back together & very happy.
Oh & thanks everyone for your great thoughts & creative comments on the documentary we are making this summer “Why we are not free to be free … to be our self”
Keep your comments coming, ‘tis much appreciated. Thank you.
*R.A.P.H.A. Together we at Sally Stubbs have spent a number of years developing R.A.P.H.A., cutting edge, clean strategies which give back inner control to each individual, which is where control rightfully belongs. The control of having the choice of how to think and feel & respond to all and any situation.
Cures that Endure