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Archive for March, 2012

My BBC Radio Cumbria Interview on Phobias

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Barbara’s Eighty Year Wasp Phobia

I know you can fix your phobia, be rid of it completely.

No need to manage your phobia, work to be free of it.

Are you or a friend afflicted?

Have a look at the information about the audio treatment I have produced to allow you to get to the bottom of the phobia and be liberated from it.

Barbara phoned in to the Mike Zeller Program on BBC Radio Cumbria, the subject for discussion – ‘Phobias’.

You can listen to an extract from the program here: Barbara’s Eighty Year Wasp Phobia

Barbara discusses a phobia she has had for eighty years since, aged four, she had two painful experiences with wasps .

Sally Discussing Phobias on BBC Radio Cumbria

Monday, March 26th, 2012

Karens food poisoning phobia

Monday, 26th March 2012:- Interesting interview with a lovely lady called Karen who has a phobia regarding food poisoning which related to an incident when she was 4 years old and her family were  bedridden with food poisoning, now nearly 40 years old and she still struggles with the concept of getting food poisoning and consequently has an unhealthy relationship with food, I am sure I can help her, it is never too late to get help with a phobia or anything else that is concerning you in your life.  I have courses available, either one to one or audio, or you can contact me via the website and I will assist you all I can.

Sally Stubbs

KICK YOUR ANNOYING HABITS!

Friday, March 23rd, 2012

Do you have an annoying habit?
Do you want to stop this habit?

Our brain does a fabulous thing for us, it learns quickly and it learns by repetition and then many, many tasks in life become unconscious, which means habituated. This fabulous facility of the brain saves us all a phenomenal amount of time, as long as the habit is useful, like tying our shoe laces!
Driving is a good example! If you drive you will know that you no longer need to consciously think about mirror, brake, mirror, stop, look left, look right, mirror…… this process takes ages to consciously think and work it out, and you haven’t even left the junction yet! You just ‘do it’ unconsciously, whilst consciously you can hold a conversation, listen to music, think about future plans, what you will have for dinner, whilst your unconscious does the driving! You will experience familiar journeys like this: “I don’t remember – the last ten, twenty minutes….” Your driving just ‘happened’ as your unconscious mind took over the familiar journey. But your amazing unconscious mind-brain is ever alert and vigilant for the traffic lights, pedestrians and so on.
Once we have learnt pretty much anything in life we no longer have to give ‘it’ thinking time. We can multi task and therefore save time – we can for example – listen, read, type – all at the same time.
So, lots of habitual behaviours are very, very useful for all of us.
However, like most of us, you have probably learnt certain habits which are negating your fulfillment in life?

Science used to consider that once the mind-brain had learnt behaviour, then that behaviour became ‘hard wired’ and would be virtually impossible to change! Neuroscience has discovered in the past three decades that this is not the case. Learnt behaviour is not ‘hard wired’ in our brain and can therefore be ‘un learnt’ and changed.
We do not yet know the true capacity or potential of our mind-brain. Research is showing that learning something new can cause neurogenesis, meaning when we learn something new we are literally growing a new brain . So you change an old habit, you gain, you learn something new- you gain literally you grow a new brain.

You need to be motivated to make the changes you want.
To be motivated we all need a purpose.
Why? Why do you have to have motivation to kick your annoying habit?
The brain learns faster and far more efficiently if we have motivation.

A child will learn really fast that two twos are four, if they can then go out to play after they’ve learnt the sum, or receive a gold star, or become the mathematician they dream of being.
These results are about meaningful purpose and not about reward!
The brain learns outstandingly quickly when we have a purpose to learn.

Purpose or reasons are what motivates us all of us!

Once we know the purpose in learning something new we are focusing on the good things to be experienced as a result of making the change. And, as we cannot just turn off a learnt behaviour, an annoying habit, the excitement of the results to be gained also assist the new learning process.

The wonderful thing for you to understand is that human beings can change, we can all change and we have the freedom of choice to change for something that is good and better.

So, what is your purpose in Creating Positive Life Affirming Habits?
Maybe you already know your purpose?
Now is the time to rid yourself of your annoying habit.

I can help, you will be a most welcome visitor @ www.sally-stubbs.com/kick your annoying habits

 

MEEKNESS?

Wednesday, March 7th, 2012

Here comes Spring and life is abounding with great good opportunities for us all, but this is really hard, if not at times impossible, for our mind to even contemplate seeing and hearing, let alone acting upon, when we are suffering a problem.

Last week a client said something really awesome to me; it stopped me in my stride! My client was working on a problem he had about the painful hurt he was suffering in a close and important relationship. I asked him: “What do you want to achieve?” He replied; “I want to have meekness.”

I never ever make suppositions about any of my work either in my recorded treatments or my 1:1 work. But I was struck by his word ‘meekness’. I asked him what he meant by meekness? He said that: Meekness is the ability to see clearly and to not mind ..”

Brilliant!

In other words – to be in a place and space in our mind to no longer be responding from ‘pain’ and hurt, and therefore to not respond inappropriately by either ‘withdrawing into a bleak hiding mood’ or getting into a ‘fury’ – turning to food – feeling frightened, nervous – tossing and turning all night……….that endless circle of not knowing whether to blame them, (or blame something) or take the blame our self.

Considering ‘meekness’ as a response is not me or my client being naïve! It is about seeing clearly – not minding – and having time to respond appropriately. By appropriately that means from a ‘clean’ clear place that is in the present free of hurt or ‘pain’ from our past.
So, I think his take on ‘meekness’ is truly awesome.

How can we begin to do this? Here’s a strategy for you to work with: Pause for a few moments, even though you’re hurting, and ask does this hurt of mine belong to this moment or some earlier life experience? (You’ll know if it belongs to a younger life experience because you’ll have had the feelings before, the feelings won’t be brand new, there will be a familiar ‘knot’ of ‘pain’ in your stomach, chest, heart, throat….)

Once you realise this is familiar ‘pain’ the strategy is to acknowledge it by saying convincingly to yourself “That’s Right! That really did hurt me …when I was aged about…… “(You’ll know about how old you were…) So, in ‘honouring’ your past ‘pain’ you help yourself not to hide and withdraw into a mood or get angry with them, or angry with whatever is going on for you in the present – and you also help to ease, and even begin to resolve, a past ‘pain’ with which you got ‘stuck’.

You’ll be a very welcome visitor to www.sally-stubbs.com

Thinking of you warmlySally