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Archive for August, 2012


Wednesday, August 22nd, 2012

Party Wear!

As Mike’s birthday was on Friday – and mine was on Sunday – we had non stop celebrations ALL weekend! What Fun. What Joy. I can ‘swear’ that the old stone walls of our house are smiling ‘their heads off’!!!!
Love and laughter flowed just like ‘our’ sparkling river. And you know what, the amazing thing is, just like the river, there’s no Stop on it………….
In Praise of your ‘ME’ – here for you is my Gift – I want to give you thee most precious gift I can for my Birthday – some priceless ‘Golden Bullets’.
• Your ‘ME’ needs: I repeat needs, space to be! We can get all philosophical about that; however give your self a few minutes to just gently think about it. Space to be… Therefore the first thing your ‘ME’ needs is to be located in ‘space’ which can be either ‘inside you’ or outside you’. Ask your self this question, from a place where you feel comfortable and perhaps private, maybe a bedroom or a meadow….. Give your self 20 minutes or so – your ‘ME’ deserves your time.
• Question: “And where could my ‘ME’ be?” You may get an instant answer. Your ‘ME’ could be located inside you, like a feeling in your stomach, or heart, or head…… your eyes, your throat. Or, and this will not be strange to you once you take time to ask the location question – your ‘ME’ could be ‘outside’ of you – like above, or behind or one side or another side.
• Your next question: (perhaps on the following day as your unconscious may need 24 hours to process ‘where’ your ‘ME’ could be) “And – what does my ‘ME’ need?” You may need to have a note book with you for your ‘ME’s answers……
Take your time with this. Validating and respecting your ‘ME’ will have massive ongoing value for you. As you, your self begins to give your ‘ME’ the right space to be, and the right and normal responses that your ‘ME’ deserves – So your ‘ME’ will be validated and respected in the right way by others – who are important in your life. Your ‘ME’ will no longer feel pressured and ignored………..
For all of us our ‘ME’ has a certain genius to be expressed in exactly the right way.
For all of us our ‘ME’ has boundless capacity for natural harmonious enjoyment……………

Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail:


Wednesday, August 15th, 2012


Get Olympian Size Results:-
So there we were, Mike and me, watching the closing ceremony of our British Olympic Games…….. And imagine my delight when they played John Lennon’s Imagine!
You may have read the letter from me a few weeks ago: ‘You may say I’m a dreamer!’
But I’m not the only one.
You too are a dreamer.
And Lennon, in his wisdom, goes on to sing: ………”And the world will live as one.”
Now I’m certain that you will imagine that I have my own take on Lennon’s exquisite words!
You’re right!
And that is, for us all to live in the world as one – first of all it’s a mind set – within each of our individual minds ‘worlds’ to live within our self as one.
Our inner ‘world’ is our starting place. As it definitely was for all the amazing and successful Olympians. My absolute total full on delighted congratulations to them all.
We are, I believe, all of us proud. Proud of our Olympians, of our British and your own nations achievements. Thrilled that all those competing nations brought us all together as one…….

We can consider that some of the most successful medal winners started out only four years ago with a Goal.
They had their focus, their determination and motivation, they knew their reasons and purposes – and they went ahead – they moved forward towards their Goal with consummate, unwavering self belief.
Four years of a certain focused mind set.
We know that most of the winners employed sports psychology coaches to expand their motivation and self belief. And they had wonderful utter support from family and friends.
Bottom line – it was their self belief and motivation that got them there.
Did you see the psychologists who spoke to some of the medal winners – who were ‘down’ and rather flat and even having sleepless nights because they were asking themselves the question: What now? This, ‘What Now’ – we can discuss together at another time.
I thought a lot about that totally admirable four years of resolute, dogged determination and motivation. How do they maintain that level of discipline for all those years and thousands of gruellingly ‘uncomfortable’ hours of training? The how, will have its individual complexities for every one of our Olympians.
What will be common to their drive is: Recognition.
We all of us need some form of Recognition – from some source, not necessarily from our entire nation and the world, just from one or two significant individuals. Recognition is ‘food’ for our souls…..
Some of us right now this moment may be saying: “Well I run a mile every morning… I don’t need recognition for that. I enjoy it”!
Or we may be saying; “I do an outstanding job at my work – I know it – I don’t need any one to recognise what I achieve at work”.
But – (rare for me to use the But word!!) when we think about it – for all of us there is an area in each of our lives – when some kind of recognition of our self from some source – a family member – a loved one – a child – a customer – does give our soul nourishment.
For instance my soul is nourished everytime I receive one of those sweet emails from some one who is Working with one of my audio courses and they say: ‘I am Happy, thank you Sally’.
It’s not an ego boost! It’s not a recognition that makes me boastful – it’s soul food.
So, Mike said to me, after we’d watched some of the Closing Ceremony for the Olympics: “It’s taken hard training and discipline for a minimum of four years for these Olympians to succeed – when it only takes half an hour or so a day for forty days to really succeed and achieve a goal with one of your audio courses…”
So, what do you think? I’d really be delighted to hear your thoughts on this.
I think that the lovely people who are Working with me on my Audio Courses, and those who are now thinking of Working with me on my Audio courses, their ‘soul’ needs Recognition for what they oh so successfully achieve……….
Recognition for their discipline for 40 days. Definitely – they have earned it.
Because, anyone Working with me on my Audio courses, it is they who do the Work.
I’m there every step of the way! It’s like if I was a fitness coach – and the person Working with me (on my Audio course) is building psychological and emotional muscle – to successfully achieve a pristine, uncluttered, ‘un-stuck’ mind set – I don’t sit there distractedly saying: “Yeah lift an extra weight errrrrrr…. only if you want…..” I say: “You can do it – I Know you can – and this is how to do it successfully.”
I have loads of energy.
However – it is the person Working with me who ‘lifts the weights.’ They accomplish for themselves.
And they deserve Recognition.
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure


Monday, August 13th, 2012

To those who have asked about my Courses
So we did some simple arithmetic together a few days ago! (Thanks to Earl Nightingale of the wonderful Nightingale-Connaught company.)
And there I was, suggesting to you, one my 40 audio courses, for someone who you know who is not living their life with vitality and passion and fulfilment of their self and their being………
And I was struck reading Earl, that Working with one of my courses takes around 20 hours.
So, let’s say we do actually work 3,000 hours a year. That leaves 3,000 hours in the year, when we’re not sleeping, to ‘fit in’ 20 hours or so in 40 days.
And that leaves 2,980 hours to feel and be passionate, full of vitality, celebrating your life and your unique genius! The genius to be – who you are meant to be…..
So, let’s just think about this particular truism again together for a few moments:
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius…………

I have been asked by loads of people to write about my courses. And the reason I haven’t, is because I am so, so proud of them.
But, here’s a little anecdote, just a short one to interest or amuse you. My Dad, my Hero, the strong, loving, and gentle man taught me to walk through life with consummate pride!! Bit of a conflict here for me cos my Mum, who sadly never ‘ate cakes’, in her life chastised me thoroughly for looking and being so proud: “You can’t go through life being so proud…”
So, for those of you who have asked about my courses, here goes……
The thing is my Therapeutic audio courses contain the best Work that I’ve put together in 30 years of 1:1 sessions and rigorous study to assist in resolving and curing psychological and emotional problem and suffering.
To assist people who have been struggling to live life with passion, vitality, inner certainty, calmness and awe, resourcefulness and beautiful and useful visions.
The scripts for the assignments I wrote and re-wrote. I asked for real advice from friends who are very successful (and I got it!!)
The assignments each take around 5 to 10 minutes a day. There are four of them. Ten days for each one. And they are based on the massive research of: What do all successful people have in common?
Whether that is in health, in well being, an inner stability in sense of self, in business and so on across the board. These four things are what they all have in common:
• They know what they want – they know their goal. They know their purposes and reasons to achieve their goal.
• They are fully motivated to achieve their goal.
• They have total belief that they will achieve their goal – successfully
• They can future pace themselves fully, with no objections from any part of them, into the time when their goal is successfully achieved.
These are the four assignments that I’ve written and recorded for each of my courses to guide you and teach you how to achieve individual goals such as: Be the Right Weight, Sleep Well, Gain Self Esteem, Have Harmonious Relationships, Enhance Happiness, End Anger and many others………
The next part of my Therapeutic Courses is a metaphorical story, which lasts around 20 minutes (entrained to the Ultradian Rhythms in our brain*).
Four different stories for each forty day course – listen to each one for 10 consecutive days.
Each time you listen the wisdom of your unconscious is hearing and responding positively and appropriately for you, to something different and important, unique to you as an individual.
Now, my stories, I did not have to re write!
Neither did I have to ask successful friends to ‘pull them apart’ for me so that they would be outstandingly good!
I wrote them – and they awed me, they are outstanding. I wrote them all from that ‘other place’ – which we have discussed before – from my deep unconscious.
And, without wanting to appear ‘fanciful’ here, maybe my stories also ‘came from’ that ‘space’ or ‘place’ that Carl Jung called the Collective Unconscious?
I can’t say, maybe one day I will know!!!
But honestly writing the stories for me was like I am a total natural. I would read them and proof listen to the recordings** and say: WOW – ‘where’ did that come from!
And then I had to ice the cake – as my Mum would say!
I added four relaxation tracks to my courses. We all need or want to relax in various ways depending on what is happening in our life – hence four different relaxation techniques!
I have so many people who have trialled, tried out, bought and Worked with my courses – successfully. I receive feed back that is profound and poignant and inspiring.
I had to really, really know that my courses are the besting in that they gain outstandingly successful results. They ‘do what it says on the tin’.
We are proud to say that we now have people all over the globe Working with my courses from the UK, USA, Canada, India……
** I want to thank with all my Heart my niece Laura Monaghan, I’m so proud of her, for her exquisite voice and her utterly focused perfectionist work singing with me on my stories. And Claire Woyka her voice is amazing, and her passion for my Work shines through her every note. And to Ron Angus the best recording technician I’ve ever come across. Thank you.
You can hear a sample from one of my courses
Thank you so much for listening to my proudness……
* Ultradian Rhythms: Ref: Dr Ernest Rossi Professor Kathryn Rossi, Prof Kleitman.
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail:

BBC Radio Cumbria – Kevin’s Pigeon Phobia

Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

Kevin Fernihough – Fear of Pigeons

On Monday I was talking to BBC Radio Cumbria Presenter, Kevin Fernihough,who has a phobia of pigeons dating back to when he was four years old.  He was invited, along with his father, into his neighbour’s pigeon loft where, when the pigeons were released, he clung to his father’s leg in fear. This fear has stayed with him through to his adult life.

You can hear the extract from Kevin Fernihoughs Radio Cumbria program here – 12-08-06 Kevin Fernihough Pigeon phobia

Do you have a phobia?   This page on my web site has details on how to Fix Your Phobia  don’t delay, it only takes 30 minutes each day for 40 days to be CURED

You will be a most welcome visitor.

Sally Stubbs – please do not hesitate to contact me direct


Wednesday, August 8th, 2012

I am on a mission!  4,000 hours to ourself? (30mins per day x 40 days) = 3,980 + amazing results

I loved sums, I still do. ‘They’ used to laugh when I was little, ‘they’ said I was useless, at add ups and take aways!!
Five red squirrels this morning for breakfast, in and out of the ‘café’ that Mike built for them. Yeah five of them. I can count!
Anyway Earl Nightingale saved me the trouble and did this sum for me!
I haven’t actually checked if he’s totally accurate. It’s not like I’m marking Earl’s homework! So I apologise if Earl’s sums aren’t ‘bob on’
Here’s the maths:
We have 6,000 waking hours a year.
We work around 2,000 of those hours a year. (Earl did not add that some of us do work a 1,000 hours a year longer!!)
Therefore we have around 3,000 to 4,000 waking hours a year – for our self.
I only came across this sum recently, and thought why didn’t I work this out ages ago!
Do you think this is quite huge to consider – that we have around three to four thousand hours a year – for our self – to do with what we like – and to be – a human being, for some of this time, or in fact most of this time – instead of the fairly constant, – when we’re not sleeping – human doing!
Don’t you find it interesting that someone somewhere way back in our history in their ‘wisdom’ named us human beings – not human doings!
I might just want to Google later on, who this wise person or group of people were, who named us thus.
In every child there are unique elements of genius. Every child knows how to be. And that state of being is a massive part of every child’s genius.
Most every child will be a spectacular space traveller – will be a brilliant bird soaring over mountains – will be the wise prince – will be the warrior in shining armour – will be the magical princess………………
Most every child will have received an injunction – probably from most well meaning adults to: ‘do this, do that’.
And for so many of us – as a child – our genius to ‘be’ was ‘wounded’ And so into our adult life the ‘wounding’ deep within us causes us pain. We more and more become human doings in an attempt to not feel the ‘pain’ of wounding.
So, here’s what I propose:
Any one you know who is ‘suffering’ either from the negative belief injunctions from well meaning adults when they were youngsters – or received some ‘wounding’ to their identity when they were youngsters – please – tell them that half an hour a day with me – with one of my courses for forty days – will assist them to restore their unique sense of child genius – to be a happy human being. Resolve and cure their wounds – either those wounds of negative self beliefs – or those wounds when at some time in their early life their sense of their identity was ‘questioned’
Look – my courses come with a money back guarantee – because I am on a mission!
I recently received this email – from a wonderful lady who is Working with my Gain Self Esteem and Self Confidence, 40 day course.
How about this:
“Sally Stubbs you are AWESOME and I can’t tell you how delighted I am to have found you 🙂
Day 2 of CD 2, I’m so happy!
I have asked her permission of course to quote her email and share it with you to inspire you.
And you know what – I’m happy! I’m happy that she is re-gaining her happiness.
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail:


Monday, August 6th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

How to “Resolve Trauma” without re-living it?

Lots of people have been asking me questions about “T Minus One”.
I really love your questions, do keep them coming. Thank you.
So, here goes: T = Trauma
“T minus (-) one” is a moment in time before the worst moment of the trauma.
“T” is the worst moment or moments when the affect, distress is most intense.
“T plus (+) one” is a moment in time just after the worst moment of the traumatic experience.
We are now in T + one, the trauma is over. But not all of our self is in T + one.
Part of our persona remains stuck, or frozen in time, in the very difficult T – one moment.
The difficulties, pain & bewilderment keep on replaying within our unconscious.
Why did we get stuck? We froze time as an unsuccessful mechanism to protect our self from ‘T’ or event to prevent ‘T’ from ever happening.
We know that the problem is not located during the worst part of a trauma due to the unerring use, by the person who has the problem, of the gerund * “…ing”
“My stomach keeps on churning….”
“I just keep thinking the worst…..”
“I have a tightening in my chest…..”
“I keep feeling like I’m falling……”
“There’s a fluttering in my throat…..”
“I feel like there’s a knife stabbing my heart……”
These examples are all indexed in the time frame, some time before the worst part of the event.
* A gerund from the Latin: to carry on – indicates a reoccurring non finite verb and behaves like the present participle (as a noun). The ‘something’ never completed itself; it carries on, a continuous over and over again cycle.
The nightmare sequences such as:
“He was chasing me and just before he grabbed me I woke up….”
“I was falling and falling and just before I crashed on the rocks I woke up….”
None of these dreams are finite, they do not ‘end’ we stop the dream – by being suddenly awake just before the next moment becomes worse, i.e.:
“He catches me and stabs me.”
“I land on the rocks and my body is all smashed.”
Bear in mind that these dream sequences are rarely memories.
They come from the rich language of the unconscious in allegory, symbols, puns, metaphor.
This is a more obvious example of a nightmare sequence: “I was running and running through hell and just before the monster got its claws into me and ate me alive – I suddenly woke up…..”
This example of a nightmare sequence will most likely have come from a child’s experience. An experience of an event or period of events in their life which was ‘hell’ to them, when an adult or older person were behaving ‘monstrously’ The child felt their real identity, who they really were, was being ‘eaten up’ by the ‘monster’
Problems are born at specific moments in time and space. These moments range from a ‘damning’ look in a parents eyes to repeated violating behaviours from another person. A child will not determine and distinguish the difference between their internal feelings and their external environment consequently the information from both becomes an internal undifferentiated information mass. Like a tangled ball of wool. This creates a symptom complex that permeates their experiences and persists into adulthood.
So what do we do?
My Work 1:1 comfortably and safely goes into the “T Minus One” moment and differentiates the information contained in that moment.
The differentiation allows us to focus on the individual now separated ‘strands’ and bring appropriate resolutions. This allows time to move on – never through “T” rather ‘over’ or ‘around’ “T” into “T + 1”.
Also my Work on my CD courses will assist the differentiation of “T Minus One” information and move to resolutions.
All of my Work also honours the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ or ‘frozen’ in a moment in time………….
There’s quite a bit to take in BUT it IS fabulous………
Also more of my videos on YouTube if you would care to take a look.
Thinking of you warmly
Cures that Endure


Wednesday, August 1st, 2012

Sally Stubbs

I do enjoy having my rants!
Here’s the latest!
Recently I watched a few minutes of early morning Breakfast television.
Did you happen to see this one?
Absolutely shocking!
The presenters informed the viewers that around 10% of five year old children in the UK are clinically depressed.
We could talk a lot about this! But all I’ll say is that I am horrified, heart achingly horrified.
A very pretty clinical psychologist came onto the program ‘sofa’ to explain, that the reason for these statistics about depression in such young children is because parents are in low spirits about the credit crunch, and their personal finances.
OK – it’s a possibility.
I do have to say that my Dad, when he was a child, had four siblings, hardly any food, no new clothes no new shoes, five children in one bed, outside toilet…..
My Dad wrote: ‘My family were rich! A wealth of lovingness, contrariness and sentimentality………’
Just a thought!!!
Breakfast time television went on to show a few minutes of an eight year old boy working with his therapist.
The boy had been in therapy since he was eighteen months old, when he had displayed some aggressive behaviours…………………….. (I really want to say: Give me strength! But I won’t! No really I WILL I need it in these Muppet circumstances)
The boy had floppy, shiny dark hair and a really nice round face.
He was sitting with his therapist and winding sellotape around his hand.
She said; ‘you’re doing that because you want to wind the tape around your mother’s mouth and make her be quiet.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not, I just like doing it’
The boy had taken some of his toys tied them to a piece of string and hung them out the window.
The therapist said: ‘You’re doing that because you feel insecure and so you’re making your toys feel insecure.’
The boy said: ‘No I’m not’.
The therapist repeated her diagnosis.
A tragedy, a total lack of respectful communication with the boy.
That is what I find shocking.
The TV presenter said to the boy: ‘Why are you hanging your toys out the window on a piece of string?’ The boy said, with a nice, pleasant smile: ‘because it’s fun!’
We have lots of skills and strategies to achieve outstanding rapport with another person.
Let’s just consider a couple of them for now:
First of all, let’s think what we are doing here:
Rapport is the excellence of relationship that results in mutual trust, receptiveness and responsiveness.
Rapport is essential to establishing an atmosphere of trust and participation within which another person can respond comfortably.
A ‘couple’ of strategies:
• ‘Mirror’ with the person. This means, however the person is sitting or standing, make your body a ‘mirror’ image of theirs. The person will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world’
• ‘Pace’ with the person. This means breathe with them, the same rate and speed and depth as their breathing. Swallow with them and blink with them. The ‘person’ will feel that you are respecting their inner ‘world. ‘Pacing’ is used in marketing techniques, as once you are elegantly ‘pacing’ with a person you can then take the ‘lead’.
I am not interested in taking the ‘lead’ in communicating, unless on some occasions it can be truly useful.
For example a few years ago I had a call from the police.
They asked me if they could bring a 15 year old to see me. The young girl had been raped in a local park, and the police could not get the girl to speak.
Of course I would see her.
The poor young girl arrived with two policemen and a police woman.
She curled up in a chair in my room, with her head on her knees, she was breathing very shallowly, and rapidly, high up in her chest.
I did not fully curl up in my chair, I mirrored her really elegantly, and I ‘paced’ her breathing, meaning I was breathing exactly like her.
She did not speak, and apart from her breathing she made no sound.
I did not speak, and apart from my breathing I did not make a sound.
After around 8 or 9 minutes my breathing was totally in sync with her, and I began to elegantly slow and deepen my breathing. I was then ‘leading’ her and her breathing followed mine.
I was then able to slowly, slowly uncurl my body, and she followed me. After a couple more minutes she was uncurled breathing well and she burst into sobbing tears.
After the tears she started to spontaneously talk about the horror she had experienced.
Listen to the other person’s use of language, not just the tone, volume and speed of their voice, also their use of words.
• Elegantly respond with their tone, speed, volume and use of words. In terms of their words, listen as to whether they are using visual, auditory or kinaesthetic words.
• This is letting you know that their inner ‘world’ communication is visual (they make pictures) or auditory (they make sounds) or kinaesthetic (they make feelings)
• Examples: they say to you – “I see what you’re saying” so you respond with visual words such as: “It looks like that…..” Or they say: “It sounds to me as though…..” you respond with auditory words such as: “I hear you….” Or they say: “I felt you ignored me…..” you respond with kinaesthetic words such as: “Your feelings are important….”
There are more of these strategies, maybe for another time hey! These three strategies may seem simple to you. Try them with care and love, they are really powerful.
If you’re not astonished at your results I will eat my hat!
And please have a look at our web sites, there’s more therapy stuff to be read there.
Thinking of you warmly
Cures that Endure
My personal and private e mail: