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Archive for October, 2012

From The Mouths of Children?

Monday, October 29th, 2012

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The Wisdom of Children

Recently I had the great good fortune to spend an hour or so talking with a little girl.She told me that she is learning sums – and she looked really happy and excited.
She said that everyone has a ‘me’ and everyone’s ‘me’ is different and also everyone’s ‘me’ goes all the way thru’ them like the writing on a sweetie called a stick of rock. Except, for everyone’s ‘me’ the writing (or the sum) is completely different.
She laughed gleefully her arms went up in the air as she said: ‘If there were two other Sally’s in the room, my Sally’s ‘me’ and the other two Sally’s ‘me’s would be totally different!
Yikes, how old is she? A thousand years old! I didn’t ask her age I felt it would be rude!
She said, with great authority, that she understood there might a certain eagle that can actually see this. Like if there were two robin’s feathers, or any number of robin’s feathers, the eagle would instantly see and know that feather belonged to Richard Robin – and that feather belonged to Robert Robin and so on, and the same for sparrows feathers – the same for most anything alive.
She even said, lets say I lost an eyelash – the eagle would see instantly see that the eye lash belonged only to me.
I loved, loved my time with her – the purity of it all………..
This wonderful little girl is talking not only about the sums of our DNA – she is also talking about our Unconscious mind – and specifically our ‘me’.
We know of substances such as radiation, chemicals in drinks, pesticides and many more common substances have been found to damage our DNA.
Also, (you might want to ‘strap in’ for the next bit!,) after two decades of studies, HeartMath researchers say that other factors such as the appreciation and love we have for someone, or, the fear, anger and anxieties that we feel also influence and can alter the outcome of each individuals DNA blueprint.
HeartMath researchers have gone so far as to show that physical aspects of DNA strands can be influenced by human intentions – emotions.
So, here are my thoughts about what this wonderful little girl was really saying (it makes sense to me!):
Pretty much everyone, at some time, lost ‘touch’ with our ‘me’. Our ‘me’ got frightened, fearful, anxious, bewildered, angry, got hurt – our ‘me’ felt an ‘ouch’ – and part of our ‘me’ felt ‘frayed’ no longer totally whole and pristine, our ‘me’ went into some kind of ‘hiding’ because our ‘me’ could not resolve the ‘ouch’
And when this happens a number of times for our ‘me’ or our ‘me’ experiences a really significant ‘ouch’ – the writing that goes all the way thru’ the stick of sweetie rock – becomes blurred………..
Which, when the ‘blurring of the writing occurs’ I think might mean our wondrous strands of DNA can be influenced in a way to be ‘off balance’
If so, we need to restore our ‘me’ – to a pristine state …….. a whole state … like restoring the writing clearly through the stick of sweetie rock.
And I will just continue to be better at being a Revolutionary!
Please, please email me your thoughts, together we can have a hugely significant discussion.

Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
personal email:

The Hypnotist & The Hypnotherapist

Wednesday, October 24th, 2012

So the question which I’ve been asked an uncountable number of times: “(What if) I can’t be hypnotised by a hypnotherapist?”
A hypnotherapist does not take the authority and control by hypnotising a person.
A hypnotist does that! This will have no therapeutic value whatsoever! Though it is considered entertaining!
Cassie, cured of hay fever through her hypnotherapy Work with me, in one of our video clips says so charmingly:
‘…. I thought is was like you see people on telly walking round making chicken noises and all these weird crazy things…. All the time that I was Working with Sally I felt fully in control……..’
Back in the mid 19th century Doctor James Braid became massively interested in what appeared to be an ‘off conscious’ state. He called the state hypnosis – later he tried to rename it psychophysiology. Hypnosis had stuck.
We all of us naturally go in and out of trance or hypnotic states many times a day, all by our selves. It will often feel like day dreaming, the: ‘…I was miles away……’ And when we feel ‘miles away’ we are, as Cassie says, in control.
Claire, on the same video clip as Cassie, also came to Work with me and cured her hay fever, describes ‘trance’ state with me as a: ‘….deep state of concentration….’
Therapeutic trance is experienced differently by everyone; therefore ‘deep concentration’ will not be common to everyone. Being in control will be common to everyone.
The ability to go into a therapeutic trance is common to everyone too.
In Therapeutic Trance we are giving the unconscious problem state the exact right attention that it needs is a totally safe way.
You can see more of my ex-clients whos agreed to film their thoughts on my You Tube Channel.
The symptom is not the problem!
So a symptom might be:
‘I get all nervous and panicky in front of lots of people. I cannot give a speech or perform in public’
The problem might be:
‘When I was younger I was told I was horribly noisy and stupid and if I didn’t be quiet I’d be in big trouble’

Milton H Erickson

The individual’s unconscious knows how to deconstruct this problem, not the Therapist!
Milton H. Erickson, was described as “one of the most influential psychotherapists of all time” in a survey by The Psychotherapy Networker (March 2006).
In psychotherapy Milton H. Erickson is ranked among the Top Ten along with Sigmund Freud, Carl Jung and others.
Milton H. Erickson says it beautifully………
“He [Erickson] discovered that most of the “rules” of life prescribing human limitations were arbitrary beliefs, not facts. His study and mastery of hypnosis taught him that altered mental states and trance were very much a part of everyday functioning.
“This understanding,” wrote Ernest Rossi, “formed the underlying principles of his later studies of psychopathology as well as his development of the naturalistic and utilization approaches to therapeutic hypnosis.” Such insights were fundamental to Erickson’s approach, but he sought no definite theory to pass on as a legacy.
“Erickson has no set method,” Haley noted. “If one procedure doesn’t work, he tries others until one does. That’s what he emphasized to his students, advising a stance of heightened receptivity uncontaminated by formulaic preconceptions.”
Erickson put it this way: “I don’t attempt to structure my psychotherapy except in a vague, general way. And in that vague general way, the patient structures it… in accordance with his own needs… The first consideration in dealing with patients is to realize that each of them is an individual… So in dealing with people, you try not to fit them into your concept of what they should be… You should try to discover what their concept of themselves happens to be… It isn’t the amount of time. It isn’t the theory of therapy. It’s how you reach the personality by saying the right thing at the right time.”
Further words of wisdom from Erickson: “Trust your unconscious. It’s a very delightful way of living, a very delightful way of accomplishing things.” And: “Don’t try to use somebody else’s technique… Just discover your own.”
Section in italics is an excerpt from the book: The New Neuroscience of Psychotherapy, Therapeutic Hypnosis & Rehabilitation: A Creative Dialogue with Our Genes
By Ernest Lawrence Rossi Ph.D & Kathryn Lane Rossi Ph.D.

Let’s talk next time about Erickson’s words: ‘Trust your unconscious…..’
And I so hope that Erickson – and the Dr’s Rossi have inspired you……
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
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Monday, October 22nd, 2012


David Grove

The First Ode to And

So, Tom the Invincible responded to our last letter “Ode to And” – with:

“To follow this up, worth pointing out in future newsletters, that to avoid making an inadvertent inflammatory statement that a full stop works well also (rather than but) as in:
John, you are a great dentist. I wonder if…… as opposed to John you are a great dentist, but…. (no you’re not)
Also how and what works well too, as in:
blah blah, how do you think we could……, or
blah blah, what might be some ways we could……”
Nice one, thank you, Tom the Invincible.
Tom the Invincible and The Grover (David Grove) would ‘walk hand in hand’ (as do I!) in their exquisite mastery of elegant, clean, respectful communications skills.
How and What are two of David’s major Clean Language questions.
Recently I received an e mail with a question I’ve been asked loads of times, which is: “What if I can’t be hypnotised?” (Full stop here!!)
I’ll talk with you about this question soon, because I’m ‘on a roll’ now, buzzing with thoughts about Tom the Invincible’s point about ‘how’ and ‘what’.
Clean Language creates a successful environment for you to achieve triumphant change. Not quick fixes that deconstruct come next month! Everlasting solid and triumphant change.
Here is an overview of the process of change.
You are in a space with a problem state. The problem is in the space where you are. In a second space there is your Goal, what ever your goal may be, and we all of us have a goal or goals, which are in another space from where you are.
In between your problem space and your goal space, is another space – for you to journey into.
OK – to make clearer sense of this, simply take a piece of paper and write down your goal – and I am today talking about a recognised psychological or emotional goal rather than the:
I want a date with my super hero!!
I want to own an Aston Martin!!
(Though these types of goals are in a true essence driven by our psychology and our emotions!)
To help you to write your goal, answer the question:
“And – what do I want to have happen?” (This non ordinary question invites a non ordinary response)
When you have written your answer on your paper you are in a space that we will call A – your goal in a space that we will call B and there is a space between you and your goal we will call C. In the C space is your journey to your discovery of solutions and resolutions to your problem in the A space.
The C space will have loads of What and How questions filling it.
Here is a simple example, and if you’d like more in depth examples just ask me.
Q: And what do I want to have happen?
A: I want to be slim and regain my figure and my health.
Q: And – what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can be slim and regain my figure and my health?
A: I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it
Q: And when I need the confidence in myself so that I will know I can do it – how can I have the confidence……
A: I really need to stop putting myself down
Q: And what could be the first thing that can happen so that I can stop putting myself down……
I promise you it will so valuable for you to journey into your C space with your own what and how questions.

Thanks again to Tom the Invincible…….
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
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Wednesday, October 17th, 2012


Sally Stubbs

In a minute we’re going to discuss ‘and’ – with some seriousness – and we’ll have a bit of fun as well! A client recently had this fabulous metaphor for her protector Restrainer. She said it was like she could see herself as an Olympic athlete (emotionally and psychologically that is!) She’s on the starting blocks she’s raring to go!
And her protector Restrainer is like massive bungee cords attached to her back.
Holding her back.
Keeping her safe.
She was thrilled with her metaphor, which may sound strange to you.
What she felt was an immeasurable amount of energy there to be released. And, here’s a great thing, she saw that instead of, once she’s released, there just being a way forward along the prescribed track, there’s an entire stadium and territory beyond the stadium to explore!!
She and I together are in the exciting process of negotiating with the bungee cords – for her imminent release…….
This is her unique epistemological metaphor for her protector Restrainer – your metaphor and your drawing or drawings will be entirely unique to you.

“Ode to And” – is a phrase coined beautifully by Cei Davies, who was the late great David Groves wife and professional partner. Cei worked continuously at David’s side developing Clean Language, Epistemological Metaphor and oh so much more.
Cei says of And: “…….and is an adjunctive for two or more incompatible elements. “……I love him – and – he did that to me…..” ‘And’, allows both experiences to co-exist.”
Let’s consider the serious value of, in day to day communications with others and with our self, replacing some of our ‘but’ words with ‘and’.
‘But’ tends to end something rather than add something!
‘But’ tends to negate something rather than leave another avenue to explore.
“You did a good job – but – you can do better…..”
How does this feel to you?
How about this?
“You did a good job – and – you can also do an even better job……”
“I want to go for a walk – but – its cold rainy weather…….”
“I want to go for a walk – and – its cold rainy weather – and – I can get my water proofs on – and – an umbrella – and – a flask with a hot drink…….”
Worth our consideration – the ‘but’ in our life being replaced, some times, with ‘and’.
Bread – but – no jam
Bread – and – jam!
Cake – but – don’t eat it
Cake – and – eat it!
In relationship with our self – (which by the way is the most important relationship because to gain or regain harmony with our self frees us to have harmony fully in relationship with another) – the ‘and’ word is empowering.
We say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – but – I make mistakes……” Intelligent and mistakes are not co-existing because of the ‘but’ – so we feel our life is about our mistakes!
What happens when we say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – and – I make mistakes…..” We now have the potential to explore both worlds of intelligent and of mistakes.
So here’s a bit of fun for us, let me have your story or Ode – to ‘And’ by the 5th November on my private email:
For the best story or Ode to ‘And’ there will be a gift of any one of my 40 Day Courses, on 5 CD’s.
I really look forward to your stories or Ode to ‘And’.
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail:


Wednesday, October 10th, 2012

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Getting to Know More Abour Your Restrainer

Now here’s a case in point, if you want to create a disturbed person –

then: Consistently criticise them!
And consistently do not give them good (outstanding) emotional support.
It isn’t ‘rocket science’! It is however now validated by our amazing Neuroscience!
Does the above sound similar to what your Restrainer has being up to – maybe for years!
Hitting you with negative criticism, withdrawing emotional support of you?
In which case in point….
You may have thought that I was partially bonkers to suggest that you ‘get to know’ your Restrainer!
I’m not bonkers! Well…………….only sometimes!! Ask Mike!!
I  totally urge you to get on and get to know your Restrainer!

Make peace together.

Does this still seem and feel counter intuitive to you?
Anyway, let’s stopping messing around, let’s stop procrastinating!
Do please get your note book – spend a few minutes each day with your Restrainer, ‘listen’ to it. It may sound to you that your Restrainer is putting you down, or even urging you to an action that you know is illogical or exhausting. You may also feel it in you body, maybe your chest or your throat…..

Here are extra ‘Golden Bullets’ to urge you on!
• Get to know your Restrainer (All of my courses on CD or MP3 will assist you to do this)
• Think of your Goal and the symptoms which you want to Resolve
• State your Goal out loud and your reasons and purposes for achieving your Goal also out loud.
• As you speak out loud – listen very sensitively for any Restraining ‘voice’ which will probably have the word ‘but’ in it, either ‘said’ or implied. (‘But’ I’ve tried so many times before and I failed….. ‘But’ if I do this, they will be hurt – then I’m left with guilt – so – better not to do this…..)
And the four new Golden Bullets:
1. Differentiate the Restrainer ‘voice’ which is yours as it were, that is a ‘voice’ you know belongs to you and is therefore a protector – from the ‘something’ which it believed ‘unsafe’ You’re differentiating the ‘voice’ of your protector Restrainer from the ‘voices’ of, usually well meaning, adults in your earlier life. Check these beliefs that came into your psychology – and do not belong to you. (These voices will often have the You can’t – You should – You shouldn’t……)
2. Make two different lists one of your protector Restrainer and one of the, albeit well meaning, beliefs of others.
3. If the voices of others do not celebrate or validate your life make a firm decision to delete them.
4. I’ll eat my hat for you if you do not find this a most valuable thing to do! And you’re most welcome to email me any questions privately.

• Simply say to your protector Restrainer (from your list): ‘I hear you. I know you wanted to protect me.’
• Make a drawing of your Restrainer – and get to know ‘it’ better by taking time to see the details of your drawing.
• Be understanding of your drawing! For example your Restrainer may have a part appearance of a ‘beast’! Two things here: The Restrainer maybe had to be beastly to you – (stopped you being what you really wanted to be to protect you from the, well meant, wrath of your family who insisted you became an accountant!) to protect you. And the ‘beast’ was protecting the ‘Beauty’ in you…..
• Your Restrainer took control – to protect you – and keep you safe. Your Restrainer will begin to accept that you can now safely have ‘the control’ as you get to know it and accept its original role.
Please visit me – and us at there’s lots of ‘gold’ for you……
……………….Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
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Thursday, October 4th, 2012

Luscious Hair Blowing in the Wind


Please follow the link to read my article in Positive Health Online: I would be most pleased and delighted.

Thinking of you warmly    Sally


Monday, October 1st, 2012

Cumbrian Red Squirrel

Proof of the Red Squirrel Cafe!

I’m taking a ‘holiday’ today – an R&R from my relentless rants! ‘That’s a relief!!’ you might be saying……. Champagnes on ice!
So, Mike did the video for you – Red Squirrel at breakfast in the Grecko Roman (with a hint of engine shed) style cafe.
The first one looks like an old fella – he could be wearing a granddad cardie!
Then there are a few moments of a younger one.
Mohican did not pitch up for this shoot. Burrowing his nuts away perhaps?
Mike will catch him on film another time.
Catch it here– sit back and smile hugely. Enjoy!
Then maybe check out a few of the other videos on my You Tube Channel?
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure
To ensure you receive my lettters please add me to your safe sender or contacts list:
Enjoy my letters? Please feel free to Forward to a friend
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