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Sally Stubbs

In a minute we’re going to discuss ‘and’ – with some seriousness – and we’ll have a bit of fun as well! A client recently had this fabulous metaphor for her protector Restrainer. She said it was like she could see herself as an Olympic athlete (emotionally and psychologically that is!) She’s on the starting blocks she’s raring to go!
And her protector Restrainer is like massive bungee cords attached to her back.
Holding her back.
Keeping her safe.
She was thrilled with her metaphor, which may sound strange to you.
What she felt was an immeasurable amount of energy there to be released. And, here’s a great thing, she saw that instead of, once she’s released, there just being a way forward along the prescribed track, there’s an entire stadium and territory beyond the stadium to explore!!
She and I together are in the exciting process of negotiating with the bungee cords – for her imminent release…….
This is her unique epistemological metaphor for her protector Restrainer – your metaphor and your drawing or drawings will be entirely unique to you.

“Ode to And” – is a phrase coined beautifully by Cei Davies, who was the late great David Groves wife and professional partner. Cei worked continuously at David’s side developing Clean Language, Epistemological Metaphor and oh so much more.
Cei says of And: “…….and is an adjunctive for two or more incompatible elements. “……I love him – and – he did that to me…..” ‘And’, allows both experiences to co-exist.”
Let’s consider the serious value of, in day to day communications with others and with our self, replacing some of our ‘but’ words with ‘and’.
‘But’ tends to end something rather than add something!
‘But’ tends to negate something rather than leave another avenue to explore.
“You did a good job – but – you can do better…..”
How does this feel to you?
How about this?
“You did a good job – and – you can also do an even better job……”
“I want to go for a walk – but – its cold rainy weather…….”
“I want to go for a walk – and – its cold rainy weather – and – I can get my water proofs on – and – an umbrella – and – a flask with a hot drink…….”
Worth our consideration – the ‘but’ in our life being replaced, some times, with ‘and’.
Bread – but – no jam
Bread – and – jam!
Cake – but – don’t eat it
Cake – and – eat it!
In relationship with our self – (which by the way is the most important relationship because to gain or regain harmony with our self frees us to have harmony fully in relationship with another) – the ‘and’ word is empowering.
We say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – but – I make mistakes……” Intelligent and mistakes are not co-existing because of the ‘but’ – so we feel our life is about our mistakes!
What happens when we say to our self: “I think I’m intelligent – and – I make mistakes…..” We now have the potential to explore both worlds of intelligent and of mistakes.
So here’s a bit of fun for us, let me have your story or Ode – to ‘And’ by the 5th November on my private email:
For the best story or Ode to ‘And’ there will be a gift of any one of my 40 Day Courses, on 5 CD’s.
I really look forward to your stories or Ode to ‘And’.
Thinking of you warmly,
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

My personal and private e mail:

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