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Curvey Yes’s & Curvey No’s………………


You know I believe ‘pussy footing around’ really is not that ‘sexy’!

And for ‘big’ things in our life – for sure we need to ‘sit on the fence’ a while and gather information, ‘flirt with ideas’, before we can ‘get off the fence’ and ‘say’ our NO! or our YES! with, if not always absolute certainty, at least with an acceptance of ‘risk’‘risk’ that will not injure our self or others……………

I have a 5 year old client, she clearly says: ‘There are straight Yes’s and straight No’s, and there a curvy Yes’s and curvy No’s. You must always be straight, curvy can be very messy, and sometimes you need to wait to know you have a straight Yes or a straight No.’

I have learnt masses from this 5 year old…….

I listened on the BBC radio 4 website to a recent programme called:

The Trouble with Moody Teenagers.

Lucy talked about being suicidal after her Dad died.

John talked about hiding himself away after being bullied.

Neither of these kids could ask for help, until eventually they were ‘exploding’.


Other kids talked about being suicidal, not coping, hiding in their rooms, being on an emotional roller coaster. Their suffering was described as: “Children being in mental smog…” Statistics say that: Every school class has one student needing urgent help.

This isn’t about teenage angst, and mood swings driven by hormonal changes.

This is about suffering.

The pain, like Lucy’s and John’s, can come from our own personal trauma. The pain, for others, can also be the distress and anguish of our ‘collective unconscious’ Dr. John Sarno calls it

‘The Epidemic of Mind Body Disorders.’

This is a story about, who I am going to call, “Debbie”.

I’m off the ‘fence’ and ‘shooting from the hip here’!

Debbie is 28 years old; she was diagnosed ten years ago with Depression and prescribed anti depressants.

Three of her friends have been clients of mine, and all three have been urging Debbie to come and see me, which she did last week. I have total respect for Debbie, in that she had to make a journey of over two hours driving to get to Keswick. Getting out of bed in the morning is an absolute ‘nightmare’ because her body, she said ‘weighs a ton’. She does not want to wake up. Debbie’s pretty face and eyes are like a solid, frozen ‘mask’.

Debbie had already told me on the phone that she had completely lost her “me” and constantly she feels totally numb. In my ‘world’ Debbie’s problem is not depression. Her problem is clearly that she lost her “me” which is more than likely the cause of her feeling constantly totally numb.

Because of the mammoth effort she made to get to Keswick I said I wanted to ‘shoot from the hip’ Debbie nodded her head in agreement.

So I asked what happened about ten years ago. “My Mum died” said Debbie, telling that she was very, very close to her Mum.

Still ‘shooting from the hip’ (I would normally go around the edges of a problem state, and never ask for a memory) I asked: “What is your last memory of your Mum?”

Debbie: “I am sitting beside my Mum, she is lying in the bed and she is dying.”

Believe me, I personally totally understand such Great, Great loss. And it is absolutely necessary for us to grieve for the sake of our Heart and Mind. But the loss of “me” and chronic numbness is not a part of grief.

Debbie is in a “T Minus One” This is the moment that Debbie ‘Froze’ in an unsuccessful attempt to stop the next moment – of her Dear Mum’s death. This is the moment that Debbie lost her “me” and went into feeling numb.

Simplistically Debbie’s “me” is still, as her memory tells us, sitting by her dying Mum’s bed………

Our Work together for me and Debbie, would be to very carefully assist her “me” to ‘leave’ that chair where her “me” is still sitting……… And she could have done this with one of my audio courses/treatments. But she now needs a bit of me as she believes that her numbness has, over the years, become too dense for her ‘self’ to make the effort.

I believe that Debbie’s story will make sense to you. I believe her story will somehow help you.

So, here’s my ‘shoot from the hip’ thought: Wouldn’t it be perfect if our very, very well meaning well intentioned doctors would say, instead of: “You’re depressed, here are your Meds.”

“You are in “T Minus One” I’ll phone a Therapist for you who Works this way…..”

Ten years of such suffering for Debbie, and others, it’s Heart Wrenching………..

Thinking of you warmly……. Come visit us on our Rapha Hypnosis site: you’ll be most warmly welcome

Warm wishes






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