Search for your problem here. We have the best RAPHA curative hypnosis solution!
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Your Basket

  • £ 0.00
  •   Items: 0

Posts Tagged ‘effort’

DEALING WITH FAMILY PROBLEMS AT CHRISTMAS

Wednesday, December 17th, 2014
Derwentwater with snow on fells behind

Snowfall in Keswick

Compliments of the Season to One & All:

Christmas Day – do you have a problem with step families, ex partner, or members of the family who do not get along, I am sad to say that undercurrents are still running at this time of year but I am able to offer you ideas to make the day happy, or harmonious. I’m am sure that if you do take this challenge on and follow my ‘Top Tips’ you will be so pleased with yourself and be happy. What a great achievement for you to accomplish harmony at Christmas when there could have been the horror of conflicts and disputes.
My Top Tips:
• First: You need to decide to take on the task on making Christmas Day to be happy, or harmonious.
• Having made this decision you need to set a Goal. Writing down goals is very useful.
• Write down, in your own words, the positive outcome for Christmas Day.

Something like: The day will be harmonious between me – and ‘that person’ or ‘those people’
• Never write a goal in the negative for example: There will be no fighting and fall outs on Christmas Day. Your brain will begin to access every imaginable states of fighting and fall out, and low and behold it will more than likely happen!
• Having spent some time really refining your own goal for harmony on Christmas day. Make a list of the people, however many. It might be just you and one other, or a number of people.
• In your list, no matter how it may gall you to do this, take one person at a time from you list, and tell yourself: They are difficult to relate to because they have had some difficulties. No matter how obnoxious or tricky their behaviour may have been in the past, the truth is a person is only difficult in their behaviour because they have suffered, or believe they have suffered. So, for this work to create harmony on Christmas Day, your goal is to just accept they have suffered.
• Then, and again I’m sad to say, it is you who has to be the strong one here, even though you may have had past grievances, ask yourself: What do each of these people need, or need to know so that for this one special day they can have harmony?
Examples: A step child, you may discover would like you to just ‘leave them alone’. The secret is when we realise a person needs to be just left alone we need to have a congruently calm mind about doing this. Our mind must not be chuntering in the back ground as we smile and ‘leave them alone’. They will know that we are chuntering away quietly which will lead eventually to disharmony. Maybe the Ex’s new partner would like to be admired. You may dislike her/him but you can find something to admire about them!
• Go through your list a number of times, realise that as you do this you can do it with good grace, because trust me these kinds of strategies will strengthen you in your thoughts and in your mind, and you will feel strong and calm.
• As you go through your list parts of you may object, for example to admiring the ex’s partner. So let these parts of you object, and then negotiate with those parts of yourself that what you want to achieve for the day is your goal: Harmony at Christmas.
• All this can be done believe me. It will take a little effort from you. So you need to get writing your goal and your lists – Now!
• By the way – as soon as you get focused on doing this you will have some amazing dreams whilst you’re asleep, with some great solutions and ideas. How great is that!
• Last of all when you know what everyone needs, when you know you can do this for every one, you can begin to imagine all the people having a peaceful day together…… And You achieved that…… congratulations!
Peace on Earth…..

Sally

quick mention of our special offer – only available on our website – £20 OFF all boxed CD sets: just enter  – video – at the checkout then the discount will automatically be applied. Any questions please feel free to contact me direct in the strictest confidence.

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

FUN MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR PROBLEM!

Wednesday, May 16th, 2012

The Great David Grove

Hi Everyone,
You know fun does place our psychological – emotional problems in a perilous state! We can forget our problem for an hour or a day or even a week of fun…….
But, our problems, like the cracks that have been papered over, are still there.
Like the cracks, our problem reappears.

I did my resolution Work with the great David Grove in the mid 1980’s. Yes, I do consider myself to be very, very lucky.
Or was it luck?
Actually I believe it was because I was ‘dogged’, rather than lucky! I made that Effort.
I’d already worked, entirely unsuccessfully, with four other therapists before I ‘found’ David……

“We must be the ever vigilant guardian of our inner space.” Do you know who said this?
I can’t remember and it’s an absolutely brilliant quote because it’s absolutely true…..
This is what we’ve been considering together as you have been ‘listening’ for any objecting thoughts/beliefs to your reasons and purposes for you achieving your Goal.
The objections do not ‘go away’ through our attempts at ‘positive thinking’ positive affirmations, deep breathing exercises, behavioural changes… oh, and Tap, Tap Tapping our body as we sing summat like Happy Birthday……… None of these strategies achieve cure.
So, we can begin to cure some of our objecting negative thoughts and beliefs with the fun of Pattern Interruption once we have established that the objection has come from somewhere external to our self………
Here’s one of mine to give you an example.
During my Work with David I was at home one day and I dropped a mug.
I felt in my stomach a life long familiar anxiety.
But, this time I stopped everything that I was doing, which was mopping up split coffee and shards of a broken mug!
Vigilant to my inner space, I ‘heard’ in my thoughts: For Goodness Sake Sally!
An injunction which had been repeated to me by my Mum when I was a kid.
She’d add to the “For Goodness Sake Sally” ….. ” Stop being so Clumsy.”
I developed a belief that I was generally a Clumsy person. I lived with it!!
You see, my Mum didn’t have enough money in her limited weekly house keeping for me to drop, spill, or break any thing. She’d get anxious and cross, and I’d get anxious.
Anyway that day that I broke the mug I did a Pattern Interruption.
I danced around the kitchen singing in my loudest voice, a top performance  “For Goodness Sake – Do the Hippy, Hippy Shake – Sally………” On and on I sang and danced………..
A couple of weeks later, I broke something else, a glass I think – and I did my second and also final, farewell performance of “For Goodness Sake – Do the Hippy, Hippy Shake – Sally………” The injunction from my Mum vanished for good! No more anxiety. No more believing I’m a clumsy person!!
Since then, if, I break or spill or knock something over, it’s simply an accident!!
Once you discover any of your objections to successfully achieving your Goal are sourced ‘out side’ of you, like mine, which came from my Mum’s anxiety, you can have such fun Interrupting the Pattern.
How you need to do it is with loads of energy. Yeah, really loads of energy. Whatever you can think of dance, sing, run around, star jumps, pillow fight,  – get into it.
You can do it by deliberately and consciously bringing up the objecting thoughts or beliefs. And a great, great strategy is, if your objection has a feeling with it in your body, like for me, I felt anxiety in my stomach, let the feeling come up, don’t let the feeling escape.

If your objections to successfully achieving your Goal are coming from an experience of hurt or ‘pain’ then come and find out about my audio courses/treatments to resolve, free and really cure………. www.sally-stubbs.com Or come and visit anyway, my audio courses/treatments really are top of the tree……….
Thinking of you warmly
Sally