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Posts Tagged ‘hypnosis’

It Really Is SO Important to Apply Large Doses of ‘Self Kindness’

Thursday, November 26th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hi

I reckon that I was ready to be an Outstandingly Brilliant Psychotherapist by the age of around 10!!
Why?
OK:  I will share this with you, however, please be careful with me because I am speaking truly from the depths of my Heart.

My Dad is one of my Greatest heroes, he is a gentle man, he is filled with strength and wisdom.
SO – when I was aged around 10 years old – what I thought was his absolutely ‘NUTS’ behaviour, absolutely ‘NUTS’ – he would regular beat his hand upon his chest declaring:
“Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa” (Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault)

I don’t think he ever accepted the truth – that the deaths of all those young men on The D Day Normandy Beach was not his fault.

Yes PTSD did exist after WW II (and before) we just hadn’t invented the term back then!

Yeah, by the age of 10 I was ‘stealing’ books from the library to try and learn about all this Crazy Stuff – called guilt, shame, failure……… (I did take all the books back to the library!! I had to ‘steal’ these books as the librarians said I was too young to borrow them!!)

All this is touching upon the question I raise here in my short video clip for you: Who is our self who needs our own kindness?

The brief answer is: The part or fragment of our self who has felt and been hurt, pained or wounded.
It is the wounded part of our self who feels nervous, stressed, anxious, a failure, the shame and the guilt, the not able to say “No!”.
All you need to do to begin to bring some peace and harmony within yourself is to be kind to your own wounded self.

And to continue the healing process for your ‘wounded’ self – just go and begin one of my half an hour a day for forty days – RAPHA Therapy courses. There will be one that will work successfully for what you need so you will be happy in your skin, free to be the self you’re born to be.

Oh and once again, well worth repeating, this superb question from an author whose name, I’m sorry I did not note:
“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”

Wishing you the freedom to be your own self’s Kind friend to celebrate your life.

Sally

Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”

― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

 

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

Where Do You Find Your ‘Self’?

Monday, September 22nd, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 I understand that I learnt to care for and about others from my Dad……. And Yeah – my Dad is my Hero.
I do have a number of heroes – and they’re all, in my view, outstanding Revolutionary Reformists – to name a few: Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, William Wilberforce – and My Dad!
SO – WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR ‘SELF’?
Makes sense doesn’t it – that we first need to find our self – particularly the ‘lost’ fragment of our self – before we can Free our self of debilitating Symptoms?
Why?
Perhaps if you’ve read some of my recent letters you’ll accept that our Debilitating Symptoms – the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up……….. all – these horrid Symptoms ‘belong’ to a lost ‘fragment’ of our self.
So – where do we go to find and then Free our ‘self’?
We don’t have to move – we just need to sit right on down in our chair – because our ‘lost’ self is inside – us.
Your Unconscious mind might well travel ‘out to the stars’ to discover just where your ‘lost’ self – took up residence – when the ‘going got really tough’ – and you don’t even have to move out of your chair!

MY ‘SELF’ & THE TREE
I sat right down in my chair – this was back in 1985 – and my unconscious mind went in search of my ‘lost’ self – I found ‘her’ sitting up at the top of a favourite tree at the bottom of the garden – aged about 8.
When ‘the going had got tough’ for ‘her’ – emotionally ‘she’ took off to the tree.
I think I make sense to you? Think of it this way if you need to – lots of kids will ‘go out the window’ when the environment is boring. Right?
Their mind/self will ‘go off’ on all kinds of adventures. Grown ups are often heard to scold:
‘Pay attention when I’m talking.’
Or:
‘You’re not listening to me.’
(Grown ups used to say around me: ‘Oh, you’ll not get a word from Sally – she lives on another planet’)
Anyway once the boring stuff is over – and not before time for the kid! – their mind/self will come back.
When the stuff going on in the environment is frightening or scary – the mind/self – is not interested in ‘coming back’ – it can ‘stay out’ for a lifetime.
Sometimes the fragment of self in a frightening, scary or bewildering experience does not ‘go out’ – the fragment of self ‘takes up residence’ inside.
You’ll know this by such experiences as a knotting in the stomach – a shaking in the legs – a trembling in the heart – a closing up in the throat – a blanking in the head – a sinking in the tummy – a heaviness in the chest…….
All of these kinds of feelings denote where a ‘lost fragment of self resides’
And it is these feelings that ‘drive’ the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up………..
The ‘lost fragment of self’ that has these feelings is ‘saying’: Don’t get rid of ‘me’ – find ‘me’ and free ‘me’

SIT RIGHT DOWN IN YOUR CHAIR – & – FIND YOUR’ SELF’
And if you need help on your journey as you sit right down in your chair – I’m here for you with one of my RAPHA COURSES.
I have had a minor Rant over the years! I Love the writing of Dan Millman, James Redfield, Paulo Coelho – brilliant authors. My minor Rant is that so many books like these are indicating to the reader that you need to literally travel – to Hawaii – South America – the desert – to find your self.  Not so!
Journey Well………….

 

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy ‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

CONTINUE YOUR FANTASTIC RISE:

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

free mojoTHE PURPOSE OF MY LETTER:
– is to help you to rise & rise into your potential – to happily enjoy being your ‘self.’
To achieve that rise you need to be free of the fear, the nervousness, the not sleeping – the feeling of not being good enough – being angry at people, angry at the cat & the cushion – to be able and strong to say “NO!” – to extra food – or people who can ‘door mat’ you…………….

ANOTHER BENEFIT FOR YOU
An Outstanding benefit for you when you Resolve these kinds of horrible, debilitating problems (which technically I call Symptoms – as it is ‘the problem’ that is driving the Symptoms) – is Ease.
Ease in your own ‘skin’ Ease in your life.
Easily more in command, of your thoughts, feelings & responses.

AT EASE IN YOUR ‘SKIN’, AT EASE WITH YOUR LIFE
I’m not being some over enthusiastic ‘Muppet’ here!! I’ve had the Symptoms!! I was fat, couldn’t sleep, nervous at the drop of a pin! Anxious……
I’m remembering that about 30 years ago – a friend invited me to supper, she said: “I’ve invited another friend called Chris for you to meet. And I’ve warned Chris – that you’ll hardly speak a word all evening.” Yeah, that hardly speaking and the rest, used to be me!

Whatever the Symptom or Symptoms you’re negotiating in your life – I want to help you to Resolve Permanently with my Audio Courses – half an hour a day for 40 days. And if done properly my Course will culminate in a life for you where you live at Ease in your ‘skin’.

AND IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER
When “Shit happens”
“Shit happens” is a common slang phrase; used as a simple existential observation that life can have challenging unpredictable events.
So: “Shit” can happen and you’ll be fully available to deal with it. No more crumbling, no more stomach colly-wobbling, no more getting into a fury, no more tossing & turning through the night, no more raiding the fridge / biscuit tin, no more running / hiding / procrastinating.

You will say “Shit” And – be Fully present, at ease, in command in your own thoughts, feelings & responses.
I’ve Worked rigorously during the past 30 years to develop the Rapha Road Map to Resolutions – the ‘blueprint’ to do this.

Get to Work; follow the steps with me alongside you.

Do this Great Good thing for your self.

Now, the ball is in your court.

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com
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THE PAIN OF THE STAIN:

Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

You Can Fully Resolve What is Stopping You – Being Your Extraordinary ‘Self’

Let us recap together:

So: what is it exactly that stops us being the Extraordinary Self we were Born to Be?

What stops us are the ‘stains’ – which really we never wanted or needed that have ‘invaded’ our ‘Pristine Mansion’
‘Stains’ – that create the ‘stink’ of the ‘painful’ lack of self esteem, the nervousness & fears, the not sleeping, the ‘ground hog day’ of worrying & stressing, the ‘I can’t say “No!”, the horrid anger that explodes onto others & implodes into our heart, our guts…..the painful isolation, the ‘no-one gets me’, & so on & so on…………

The ‘Pain’ makes us so alone.
The isolation of the ‘Pain’.
The dread of the ‘Pain’ being there – on & on…….
So alone.
Remote – even from our Self.
The hope of swallowing that ‘pill’ – that will make us feel better about our self.
The hope of thinking positive – breathing to be free of it all.
Feel better in our skin.
The hope we’ll speak up – say “No!” – sleep peacefully – join in – know we are welcomed – wake up to a new life…….
Then the despair – because we keep on waiting for the freedom to begin.
Whilst waiting – we cannot truly give – we cannot truly withhold.

You Can Engage Your Impassioned, Heartfelt Life!

I cannot ‘Polish’ your Amazing ‘Mansion’ for you!
Nor would I!

Some Therapists believe they can! They are Oh, so well meaning! “I’ll do it for you” they say. They want to help – of course they do but it is YOU who must work at changing your ‘self’.

Only you have rightful dominion in your ‘Mansion’ – your wondrous Unconscious mind.

I Guide you – You do the ‘Polishing’ and You restore your self to your rightful ‘Pristine’ state. And – You feel Empowered.

Half an hour a day – for 40 days to your transformation: don’t delay start today:
Now with 20% discount on all our courses throughout June:

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

THE HUMAN STAIN:

Monday, June 2nd, 2014
Hypnosis

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy

 “The Human Stain” This is the title of a top selling awarding winning book by the highly acclaimed author Phillip Roth.
Mr. Roth – forgive me – I want to borrow your amazing title.

Your ‘Pristine Mansion’.
I am Certain that you and I, all of us, were born with the ‘Mansion’ of our Unconscious Mind – Pristine!
I’ve made invitation for you to argue with me before – so please, please do! sally@sally-stubbs.com

So: as long as we are warm, comfortable, safe from the ‘tiger’ and we are emotionally secure – as infants & youngsters – our Unconscious Mind – my metaphor being our ‘Pristine Mansion’ – grows beautifully and ‘immeasurably’ expansively as we, with great happy, safe curiosity, explore & experience life, our potential and our Amazing world.

Our mind-emotional suffering comes from the times and experiences when ‘something’ enters our ‘Pristine Mansion’ and causes a ‘stain’ which creates a ‘stink’ – Here, in my letter to you, I am not going into the horrendous mind-emotional suffering of such symptoms as let’s say delusional psychoses. I just want to talk about the mind-emotional ‘pain’ (yes: it is ‘painful’) – such as the lack of self esteem, the nervousness, the fears, the painful anger, the feeling like a ‘door mat’, the worrying & stressing, the not being able to say “No!”………………….

It’s important to have big, Authentic, Real, Valid dreams for your future. After all, failing to plan is planning to fail. So if you can’t think big about your future, you’re not going to have a very big future. Big, of course, means a dream that takes you farther than where you are today. Success can be defined in many ways, and I’m not telling you how to define it. I’m simply saying to take your definition of success and raise the bar on it.

So whatever big thing you’re thinking about doing, think bigger! Ask yourself, “What is even bigger than what I’m thinking, because that’s what I really want to do?” That’s how you raise the bar far higher on yourself. There is always a bigger big. If you can’t imagine it, you will never achieve it.

Chose To Be Extraordinary!
You’ve read about or even seen extraordinary people. It could be a world leader working for a global cause, a business person revolutionizing an industry, or the person down the street helping to make life better for people in the community. Often, when we hear of these extraordinary people, we think: “I could never do that because I’m just an average person.”

In reality, there is no such thing as an average person; there is only average thinking. You can be extraordinary! The key is to realize that being extraordinary is a personal choice you make every day. It doesn’t matter whether you’re rich or financially struggling, whether you’re male or female, whether you’re old or young, or whether you fit into any other categories. Anyone can choose to be extraordinary—especially you!

Every day make the choice to be extraordinary at whatever it is you’re planning to do. It’s a daily decision.

You Can Fully Resolve What is Stopping You
Being Your Extraordinary Self

So, what is it exactly that stops us being the Extraordinary Self we were Born to Be?

 What stops us is the ‘stains’ – which really we never wanted or needed to ‘invade’ our ‘Pristine Mansion’.

 ‘Stains’ – that create the ‘stink’ of the lack of self esteem, the nervousness & fears, the not sleeping, the ‘ground hog day’ of worrying & stressing and so on…………

 We want you to up the bar – in the exact right way for you – we want you to be your extraordinary self – so as:
“June is ‘Bustin’ Out All Over – all over the meadow & the hill…… just because it’s June, June, June – Fresh alive……”

 We’ll stay all the month with our 20% off all our half an hour a day – for 40 days Audio Therapy Courses – to thoroughly ‘Polish’ to Pristine your Amazing ‘Mansion’ its’ a fun journey – as Gary says – for the half an hour a day for 40 days…………….

 Have an Extraordinary June……………… and an Extraordinary rest of your Amazing life……..

Warmly

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Hypnosis Therapy – ‘Cures that Endure’

The Loss of Several Cows!

Monday, March 10th, 2014
outstanding energy

energised!

How about going for this statement:

We will get our selves – plenty of Outstanding Energy – & move forwards to Successfully achieving our Goal!
We can & we will do this – & – I’m Wondering if – You will agree with me! I can – ask this of us – can I not!

I can ask – & then together – as you will agree – with me – we can begin to Explore the how we can achieve Outstanding Energy to Successfully Achieve Our own Goal.

Yeah – the absolutely all important HOW. We can all say stuff like: I really, really, really, really want to – Fix my computer! Build an amazing house…….. Bake a delicious cake…….. Anything………… (Here’s a rare ‘but’ from me!) But – for all things that we want to ‘fix ‘we need to know how!

(I wrote a Great Book – & called it “The ‘Soul’ Fixer” – the how to fix the ‘Soul’ or ‘Spirit’ or ‘Self’ – (another ‘but’!) But – the ‘Soul’, ‘Spirit’, ‘Self’ doesn’t actually need ‘fixing’; IT didn’t get ‘broken’ – IT – (let’s say for now) ‘went into hiding’ Which is a whole other subject for us another time. Any way my Book is now called:

“FRAYED EDGES…”

So, let’s say: We really, really, really, really want to change our thoughts our feelings & our negative invalidating beliefs.

My chosen subject for nearly 40 years has been – the how to do this – to live life problem free – free to be content, happy, free to be – our self – free to support & cherish others – accept our ‘down’ – sad days – have a bit of a ‘grumpy’ day – and continue to grow in our own happiness.

We’re talking here about what I’ll call – simple symptoms’ – which to you & to others aren’t simple – they’re debilitating. They can be seriously awful – I know it – I’ve been there – such as: I can’t say NO! – I’m stressed – I’m worried witless – I can’t sleep – I’m anxious – I’m worthless – I’m so fearful……….. people don’t ‘get me’………. People hate me…………… I’m so lonely………………..

We’re not insane! Though I know the endless mind-emotional ‘Ground Hog Day’ – (same ‘damn’ thing over & over again…… same old negative unwelcome thoughts – same old stomach churning – same old feeling worthless – same old saying ‘yes’ instead of a true No……..) – can make us feel like we’re going crazy. We got ‘Frayed at our Edges’ during all kinds of experiences in life.

In the mid eighteen hundreds – the pioneers were doing their best to treat ‘mind’ problems. They developed a multiplicity of diagnoses. In the old books causes of ‘mind problems’ were divided into two main categories. The first category being called Moral; this included diagnosis such as: ‘loss of several cows’ and ‘getting over excited at the Great Exhibition!’

Valiant attempts were made to treat many of these ‘mind problems’ in buildings called Asylums – from the Latin ‘A’ meaning NO – & ‘sylum’ meaning CURE.

Places of No Cure. My Heart Aches……….

I am only interested in Cure – Permanent Cure of our: I can’t say NO! – I’m stressed – I’m worried witless – I can’t sleep – I’m anxious – I’m worthless – I’m so fearful……….. people don’t ‘get me’………. People hate me…………… I’m so lonely………………..

The How:
Maybe you have been drawing and Working with your Metaphors these past couple of weeks?
Maybe you said what most of us are prone to say: ‘Yeah – all right – when I’ve time” or “Sally’s crazy!” (Yeah – well I do revel in my respite times in Bonkerdom – I visit there most days!)

So – let’s ‘back track’ with the how:
Start by giving your Goal attention for a few minutes a day for the coming week. Write it down chew your pen – hone your Goal.

If you’ve got several Goals like: I want to sleep well – I want to feel confident – I want to say NO and mean NO! Take one Goal at a time.

Start to draft your Goal in the positive. Like this (let’s take sleep as an example); instead of stating I want to stop tossing & turning at night; I want to stop waking at 3 or 4pm most mornings – State: I want to sleep well throughout the night.

The next how:
Over the next few days – a few minutes every day, write a list of your reasons & purposes to achieve your goal.

You might reasonably be thinking, it’s obvious, I want to sleep well!
But add the why component to the mix:
• I’m drowsy through the day but don’t sleep well at night!
• I seem to just get off to sleep and my alarm goes off
• My work isn’t up to scratch because I’m tired all the time
• I want enough energy for work and fun
These are my examples, be sure to list your own specific reasons and purposes.

Reasons are mostly about logic and purposes are mostly about ‘passions’. You’ll have loads on your list once

YOU WILL START TO WRITE IT!

Here’s my gift to you with my love – Let the Breeze Blow In.
Listen to it every day for the coming days – and as you listen: once you begin to feel that you are ‘in the zone’ with my voice guiding you – ignore my voice – and focus your inner attention on your reasons & purposes.
None of us will ever move towards something – even the Great Something – without reasons & purposes.

Well-meaning folks can interrupt our move toward Outstanding Energy – by saying stuff like: “Oh I’ve read you’ll never sleep properly once you’ve been a bad sleeper……….” So probably wise not to share too much of Your Goal your Reasons & Purposes at this stage.

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

A 5 YEAR OLD’S STORY ………….

Monday, March 3rd, 2014

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Here’s a Story to make us think differently!

Profoundly perhaps?

About our own life – about the problems we deal with, the ‘things’ that cause us to ‘suffer mind – emotional pain’ – such as “I can’t sleep” “I feel so nervous” “I feel so worthless…..” “I worry my self ragged”

I am certain – after 40 over years of study, research, & experience, that, unless we were ill as a child, we were not born with these problems! (And I am not naive! I can’t afford to be!)

So: ‘where did these problems come from???’
Must be our biggest Question now, why now? because, we are well into our next Revolution – the Revolution of Consciousness.

Let’s support one another in Resolving our problems. I believe that in doing our own Work – we can help change & Resolve suffering for others. Maybe by a kind of mysterious Osmosis! Mostly thru’ the Right kind of education YIKES! In the US – children age 2 & 3 are being wrongly diagnosed with Bi Polar!

Looks like I am adopting the wiles of thee Outstanding Story Teller here – by keeping you waiting so you are building your anticipation. Yeah!

Before – I begin the story – let’s briefly recap: Where do these kinds of ‘painful’ problems we are suffering come from?

Simplistically two main ‘places’:

1) As kids we will ignore the needs of our self – to conform to the needs of the adults around us, and or to our culture (I am not talking here about the ‘safe & important boundaries’ that are needed to be taught us – I am talking about the seemingly simple orders given such as: ‘Be quiet – do not speak!’ & our self becomes quiet – when in fact our self had something important to ‘speak up’ Our self – stops ‘speaking up’ & our self feels ‘shunned’ Sometimes our self will get angry at being shunned – And in a vicious cycle we are more shunned.)

2) From the: ‘Awful glare directed at us in a parents eyes’ to ‘unbearable’ abuse which causes our self to ‘hide away’ deep in our consciousness. Or, our self will ‘go live on the streets’.

All of these ‘painful’ experiences, which come ‘into us’ from an unhelpful or ‘destructive’ outer event in our life – can be Resolved. You can be doing this right now, for your self, with ‘drawing out’ your experiences in the Metaphors of your Drawings. Experiences have structure – as you Draw your Metaphors of your experiences – you gain solutions to your inner ‘conflicts’ & the structure of the experience changes.

A 5 Year Olds Story:
It was just before Christmas, seven years ago, I was sitting with a friend, he was age 5. He was snuggled up to me – a log fire crackled in front of us. He asked me if I’d like to hear his stories. Oh Yes!
“OK” he says, sitting upright, I think this is important: “Mark liked to sit on his elbow, and sometimes on an eyelash, and sometimes he liked to sit on the top of his head. Mark liked to stand on his nose, and he liked to stand on his eyebrow. Mark liked to wear his jumper upside down, and he liked to wear his trousers upside down and he liked to wear his shoes back to front. Mark did not like to upset his parents. So then Mark sat on his bottom, and he stood on his feet and he wore his jumper and his trousers and his shoes like everyone else did.”

An acquaintance of mine, a couple of years prior to me hearing the stories, had spent a summer weekend with me & Mark. She whispered conspiratorially to me: ‘Mark is Autistic’

I changed the real name of my 5 year friend – who is now 12 and a Gem of a person.
The Great, Great news is that, tho’ Mark ‘conformed’ he did not lose sense of his self. Why? I am convinced it is because of the Outstanding Intelligence of Mark’s parents. And by Intelligence I mean what the word means, the language of intelligence – interlegere: The ability to read between the lines.

With my love – my gift for you Let the Breeze Blow In – helps you to create a safe space – listen once a day for 10 days or so – it’s very relaxing of mind – and body & lasts only 2o minutes. Listen so you will ‘read between the lines’ of your own experiences. Honour the experiences – the truth: “They were yelling at me – telling me I was stupid. That really hurt….” And a lasting process begins for you of changing the structure of the experience.
I wish you lasting self empowerment in the Right way for you…….

Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

TRAVEL PLANS FOR 2014

Monday, February 10th, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

I have been in many places, but I’ve never been in Kahoots.

Apparently, you can’t go alone. You have to be in Kahoots with someone.
I’ve also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don’t have an airport; you have to be driven. I have made several trips there, thanks to some stinky childhood stuff, then my relationships, then my children, friends, family and work, my history, the weather!!!
Since 1984 – I don’t go there anymore – after realising you don’t need to once you’re in Truth. Once you’re in Truth – you cannot be in Sane – & definitely not in Determinate: too vague there!
Tho’ Mike often notices I’m happy in Bonkers!

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I’m not too much on the jumping types of physical activity.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I’ve been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I’m in Capable!

One of my favourite places to be is in Suspense! And in Tense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the Amazing heart! Happy heart – is a happy heart…… Being in Tense shows the heart a wondrous future.

PLEASE DO YOUR PART!
You can do your bit by remembering to send this to at least one person, who might be in Determinate – or a similar place. My job to reside in Truth is done! Polishing Truth, being an ever vigilant guardian – dusting off anything ‘stinky’ that attempts to visit in Truth is a daily job…..to maintain it well!

Life is too short for negative drama and petty things.

So laugh uproariously, love truly and forgive quickly!
Well that forgiveness part is up to you – except do give the gift of forgiveness to YOU – I KNOW you did your best!!!
From one vigilant, polishing person to another… I hope ‘everyone’, every part of you in your mind, is happy about getting happy in your head.
We’re all doing pretty well in mine!
So Now – “Carpe Diem” – today.

I’m going to discuss you drawing! Drawing some of your “Yeah but(s)…”
That’s right pens & inks on paper!
Novel idea? Yikes!
You’ll ‘catch on’!
Investigate taking your hands & fingers off your iPad screens, smart phones & computer – for a while of worthwhile time – with pens inks & paper!
A lovely lady approached me recently with her problems. When I said to her ‘Draw’ – she responded: ‘I can’t draw for toffee’ I replied:
“I understand the ‘I can’t draw for toffee……..’ Loads of clients say this! I used to say it! However my teacher & personal Genius therapist David Grove – MADE me draw!! I promise you I am still gaining in strengths & resources – & Happiness & inner contentment from my own drawings!!
So, I urge you to DRAW. Take your time. Tho’ some drawings will just flow – some we need to ‘chew our pen’ & return to them. One of my own drawings – which, at its core, is about my ‘inner’ resourcefulness I have been working with & developing for over three years.
Because of my ‘mile stone’ Therapy Work with David Grove in the 1980’s & seamless personal Therapy Work with my esteemed teacher – Dr Ernest Rossi – I am a consummately happy contented human ‘soul’ – I had LOADS of ‘baggage’
Due to Traumas’ in my life – I had panic, shoulder & neck pains – fear, anxieties…sleeplessness, I could never speak up for myself…All was Resolved for me.
Through David’s Work & Rossi’s Work I found, Freed & healed Me to be ME………
HOWEVER – I have my personal belief that inner Work for ‘improvement’ of our potential & Consciousness continues on a daily basis – which is what I do, the vigilance & the ‘polishing’!!
I am saying all this because I truly care – & so I wish to URGE you to do your drawings – As you Work with your drawings – put them one at a time in a different space in your room – walk round them as you would a vase of flowers – seeing them from different points of view & keep on & on asking your self the question: ‘What else do I know about that?’ AND ask the unusual question: ‘What does it know that it can let me know?’ Write down & wonder on the answers as the answers will GIVE you more & more solutions. Your drawings are a vital part of inner Work – which is called: Differentiation. Healing does not take place when information & inner knowing is compacted (like a ball of different coloured wools is useless when it’s all tangled!) Your Drawings make a vital difference to the untangling & differentiating – a movement for you towards your own ‘Light Bulb’ moments – your ‘Epiphanies’
Inner Work in not a ‘bandage’ or a ‘sticking plaster over a wound’ Inner Work safely comfortably ‘cleans the wounds’ Your drawings will guide ‘your self’ safely to be found & freed.
Did you notice I always spell Work – with a cap. W? That’s because it’s WORK to be taken seriously!!!”
Warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

https://www.sally-stubbs.com/

DEPRESSION – AN INADEQUATE NAME…….?

Wednesday, December 11th, 2013

Catbells in FebruaryI woke up today – bright and cheerful – but also sad for those of us who are not consistently cheerful and optimistic: which ‘believe it or not’ is our natural state to be in.

So I thought that the ‘black dog’ is a worthy subject for us to consider…….

Depression: a term coined by Adolf Meyer, has been considered an inadequate name.  William Styron in his account of his depression: Darkness Visible: wrote: ‘Melancholia’  would still be far more apt and evocative a word for the blacker forms of the disorder, but it was usurped by a noun with a bland formality lacking any magisterial presence.

American author Susan Sontag was more succinct: “Depression is melancholy minus its charms…” Churchill named his own depression – ‘black dog’. He was not the first or last to use ‘black dog’ to describe depression. While the term has survived Churchill, its origins remain obscured in the history of the English language.  Churchill’s daughter, Lady Soames, said of her father’s depression: “A lot has been made of the depressive side of his character by psychiatrists who were never in the same room with him. He himself talks of his ‘black dog’, and he did have times of great depression, but marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the ‘black dog’.” Whatever our personal opinion may be on Churchill’s achievements, he certainly did achieve, even though chronically haunted by his ‘black dog’. I say: “We need to celebrate how well those of us suffering depression do function, and do achieve.”

I have worked as a clinical hypnotherapist and licensed psychotherapist for many years with young people suffering with depression. I have total respect for their inner strengths to cope. The psychological and emotional ‘worlds’ of depression which they have, not out of any conscious choice, entered, do not relate in anyway to the ‘worlds’ of day to day life. And so it takes massive energy for the sufferer to even attempt to relate to life.  Depression is often compounded with anxiety, such as shame, fear of the weakness to be able to change; (“Pull your self up with your boot laces!” Which actually defies physics, we can’t!) Guilt about having ‘mental illness’ and maybe guilt about how the illness affects others; family and friends.  We know the unbearable tragic statistics: around one million people in the world commit suicide each year; one in five of us, say the World Health Organisation, will suffer a ‘’mental illness’. Medication helps temporarily; it helps to get a flow of energy, specifically serotonin. But, it does not cure. For thirty years my focus has been on cure rather than management or control.  As Churchill’s daughter said; “… marriage to my mother very largely kennelled the black dog”.

However, I see that the ‘black dog’ is still looming, a dark presence in the back yard kennel, sadly ever ready to pounce!

How can we bring a cure?  As I truly do not want to lose you here, I repeat, I have total respect for the suffering of depression. I too suffered, in the early 1980’s; my life was not worth living.  I had a brilliant Therapist, David Grove!  I’ve had no recurrence of ‘depression’, the ‘black dog’ was set free, but that’s a whole story in itself, as the ‘black dog’ is a wounded part of our ‘Me’. Sure, I have had challenges, and sadness and loss, and I’ve discovered solutions to challenges and moved on, and I’ve grieved and moved on from my loss.

The next part of my discussion with you is largely based on my successful Work as a therapist plus my experience and rigourous study:  Anxiety and depression can become compounded into an undifferentiated mass of psychological and emotional information, leading us to experience the unsolvable horrific cycle of: “The same damned thing over and over again….” My Work differentiates out the anxiety, and brings resolution to the fears and shame; we can then give full attention to the depression. Depression will have its antecedents in our early formative years, in our learnt beliefs, trauma or crisis. We may or may not know what triggers the depression later, in our teens or young adult life. It’s not always necessary to know or have the insights about what triggered it.  In our early years we unconsciously, as a psychological protective mechanism, freeze moments in time. The unconscious stops time, right on the edge of trauma or crisis in an attempt to stop the next moments becoming worse: For example: I am age 5, this important adult is yelling at me….I unconsciously stop time whilst they are yelling at me in case they start beating me…… These ‘frozen moments’ of ‘the yelling’ play on and on deep within our mind for a year or twenty years until something in our environment triggers the feelings of fear, sadness, helplessness, not necessarily the memories of, in this example, a yelling adult.  We may not even have noticed the trigger, for example: The newspaper seller shouting the news on the street had the same tone and delivery of voice as the yelling adult….. We walked on by and suddenly we felt low or fearful.  These trigger encounters will connect deeply and significantly with our younger experience. Because, the part of us frozen in time never grew on in time and deeply continues to feel the ‘pain’ of those moments.  My work safely enters these frozen moments in time and brings resolution to the experiences, freeing the part of us who became ‘stuck’ enabling time to move on.

More about black dog depression and support at www.blackdogtribe.com

Thank you for listening.

Warmly  Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com

Ericksonian Language…………

Wednesday, July 10th, 2013

 

Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Want to listen to me on the blogtalkradio station?

Sorry I’ve been off ‘the radar’ for a couple of weeks! I’m just wondering, (wondering is so cool!)
Now, that’s an Ericksonian language skill: “I’m just wondering, (wondering is so cool!) if – you did miss me!”
Erickson is thee ‘grandfather’ of Hypnotherapy – world wide. His language skills are indirectly – directive! It’s Erickson’s language skills that I Work with on all my CD and MP3 courses. Please go and have a listen on my You Tube Channel.

I’m listening to a particular story right now as I write to you – & I tell you what, I can feel the positive expansive influence taking place in my unconscious mind. You see my stories in the language of Erickson are communicating with the unconscious mind in a clean and right way – for every individual .

This Story of mine is called “Chew on Something Different” and the Goal of the entire course is to Gain Self Esteem. Enjoy
As we were planning to talk today about the ‘how’ to find & free our self from a ‘handicap’ state that is causing us problems – Well – this is one of the ‘how’ to.

Next time I write to you – we can explore other ‘how’s’ to free our self!

I’ve been off the ‘radar’ because I’ve been away. I’ve been Working with a Client in Florida. It was awesomely Great Work.

Then I got back to an invitation from Dr Michael Harris to do a radio broadcast with him on on blogtalkradio – TEXAS! How about that! A very exciting experience.
My (chosen!) subject for the broadcast was:

‘Why we are not Free to be our ‘self ‘and how we can be’.
Dr. Harris is a great presenter & interviewer and he gave me masses of free reign.

You’re most welcome to sit back & have a listen on this link.
I’ll be delighted to hear from you with any comments or questions. It is you – who teaches me.
Thinking of you warmly
Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.rapha-hypnosis.com