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Posts Tagged ‘intelligent’


Thursday, April 4th, 2013
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs


A friend, who is a lovely woman &  a caring intelligent mother (but her dog is thoroughly daft!) said to me: “Therapists always want to blame your childhood for mind-emotional problems!”

I really don’t know if this true or not, I mean, that Therapists ‘blame’ childhood experiences?

But I absolutely do know this certainly is not true of me and my work, whether that is 1:1 or through my audio work: And there is never ever any ‘blame’.

Blaming does not free & heal us.

I never, ever make suppositions, give advice, or give diagnosis, nor is my Work prescriptive, which may seem really weird to you.

Simplistically what I am doing is providing the unconscious mind a space to communicate its language, and for the unconscious to discover and resolve the problem state. Why? Because, as we’ve mentioned before, our problem state is unconsciously driven, and the paradox is our unconscious has the resolution to heal & free us from ‘where’ we got ‘stuck’ in time.

We unconsciously ‘freeze’ time in painful experiences in an attempt to stop this experience, in the next moments from probably or possibly getting worse, and therefore not emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, or physically safe for our self.

I’m maybe going to sound really weird to you now!: Mostly I’m communicating with “IT” so that “IT” can discover the exact right unique solutions for “IT”, “IT” being the problem. So, I’ll make sense of this now and you’ll say: Wow Sally’s not in the least bit weird! Simplistically “IT” is the part of our self which got ‘stuck’

So: Think of an emotional problem right now, and ask yourself:

How do I know that I have this emotional problem?

Maybe to begin with you’ll want to say all kinds about your life, like, I have this problem because of my boss, my relationship, my parent, my finances……. the weather…….. Then soon you’ll get to the problem inside of you, not these external triggers in your life, and your answer will be:

“IT” feels like this: “……in my head, chest, stomach, throat…… “IT’s” like knotting, churning, trembling, numb, stuck, heavy, fluttering…… “

There are literally a myriad of unique to you descriptions of “IT” So what happens next is that in therapy with me “IT” communicates it’s own information and goes on a journey to discover resolution for “IT” In my 1:1 & on my CD/MP3 audio courses – together, you & I safely allow “IT” to communicate & journey to “IT’s” resolutions healing & freeing

Then, halleluiah,  when “IT” has final resolution & freedom you’ll feel your boss’ ‘tantrums’ are like ‘water off a ducks back’ You’ll have resources to sort your relationship and finances – and Hey in bad weather you’ll feel well clothed and ‘weather proof’

Maybe Jonny’s video clip on You Tube will go some way to getting you a real sense of “IT” as “IT” for Jonny was a serious cancer. Jonny makes me cry happily every time I watch the clip – he’s just lovely. Jonny named his cancer ‘The Guys’. This was Jonny’s unconscious solution – not mine!! Enjoy Jonny’s smiling face, and knowing that seven years on he is well, successful and lovingly married. ENJOY Jonny.

Thinking of you warmly


P.S. Any ideas you may have for our film:”Why we are not Free to be free to be our self. And, HOW we can be!” will be so gratefully received.  Thank you.



Wednesday, June 20th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

Do you perhaps remember me talking about the lady with the kind heart, Bernice, from the Sowf* of England, (*as we Norferners affectionately say!!) who is aged 68. She Worked intensely with me one to one for a week.
After our last Session she leant towards me and said: “You are the most intelligent person I’ve ever met…” I was pleased and said: “Thank you” But she was intent on getting her message thru’ to me so she smiled, like I was a kid who wasn’t really listening to her and said: “I mean you are thee most intelligent person I’ve ever met!” And her words then fully ‘entered’ me.
This is a whole subject for us for another time:
Where do the ‘emotional’ words that people say to us go to?
As always I have a million thanks to Bernice, and anyone who I Work with face to face or on my audio courses, because I learn and learn and learn from you all.
Ain’t that Grand, to learn more and more that is important and new and different and ‘healing’ and successful, every day?
What did Bernice teach me? She reinforced this: My Work cures problems. Does my Work need reinforcement? Constantly it does, so that I can and will continue to improve it, as did David Grove. As does Dr Rossi and many others……..
Here’s a little of Bernice’s story.
She had an awful childhood, and then she suffered horrific emotional violence during her marriage, there was hardly any of her self left when she came to me.
All her life she had been told what to do, made to be what others wanted from her and wanted her to be.
Since she had finally found outstanding strength, 15 years ago, to end her marriage and walk away, Bernice had seen lots of different therapists to try and get resolutions to her inner pain. She had even travelled to other countries in search of a therapist to assist her to her resolutions. I am, as always, awed by the strength of Bernice to make such effort.
But, every therapist she saw, told her what she should do, and what she ought to do. The Muppets!
Surely even those amongst us who are traditional therapists, the therapists who believe in diagnosis, who believe in suggestions, and giving analysis, and giving advice, who believe that problems are resolved by telling people what they should and shouldn’t do – would at least have heard Bernice’s cry: “I’m sick that for, my entire life, I’ve been told what I should and shouldn’t do!”
Oh yeah, a vital point to add to this ‘flow’ from me, Bernice had told the many therapists that she was really angry with the ex-husband for his cruelty, and the therapists, all of them, had told her she should not be angry, she should forgive!
An aspect of the amazing skill of my Work is; my Work never tells someone what to do, there are no shoulds or shouldn’ts, nor does my Work give advice or suggestion. This may well sound weird to you! Like I do nothing! When in fact I’m working my ‘butt off’ with and for everyone I Work with.
Bernice told me that her reasons and her purpose to cure her pain (she did a lot of swearing for a gentle woman): “My life is about three quarters the way through, and it’s been Sh*t. I want the last quarter of my life to be Fun; I want another 20 years of life, more if I can, to have my own power and to accept my self, and be free to be me.”
The ‘core’ of Bernice’s pain was her anger. Her anger did not actually ‘belong’ to a young married woman who was the ‘victim’ of psychological and emotional abuse from her husband. Her anger had it’s antecedents in an emotionally painful experience when she was 18 months old, and again when she was age 11.
Are you wondering if an 18 month old child can experience the ‘pain’ of anger?
Yes, they can!
And the ‘pain’ invariably gets repressed by the unconscious mind, because the unconscious mind does not know what to do with these kinds of overwhelming emotions; ‘repression’ is an unconscious protective mechanism.
For Bernice, and for many of us, (including my self) the pain of repressed anger needs to be honoured, needs to be understood and needs the exact right, elegant strategy to ‘move it on’ and transform it.
I feel more details on this, another time when I write to you, will be useful?
I also feel that what I’ve been saying today, you ‘get it’
My Work respects it, honours it and assists that fury to transform.
Today, the kid in me is going to be ‘colouring in’ on our new site. And also Mike, Judith and I will be adding some nourishing ‘cakes’ for you…..
When we have the next revision I’ll let you know.
Until then you can see more information on my audio treatments on
Thinking of you warmly

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