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Posts Tagged ‘self help’

It Really Is SO Important to Apply Large Doses of ‘Self Kindness’

Thursday, November 26th, 2015
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

Hi

I reckon that I was ready to be an Outstandingly Brilliant Psychotherapist by the age of around 10!!
Why?
OK:  I will share this with you, however, please be careful with me because I am speaking truly from the depths of my Heart.

My Dad is one of my Greatest heroes, he is a gentle man, he is filled with strength and wisdom.
SO – when I was aged around 10 years old – what I thought was his absolutely ‘NUTS’ behaviour, absolutely ‘NUTS’ – he would regular beat his hand upon his chest declaring:
“Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa” (Through my fault, through my fault, through my most grievous fault)

I don’t think he ever accepted the truth – that the deaths of all those young men on The D Day Normandy Beach was not his fault.

Yes PTSD did exist after WW II (and before) we just hadn’t invented the term back then!

Yeah, by the age of 10 I was ‘stealing’ books from the library to try and learn about all this Crazy Stuff – called guilt, shame, failure……… (I did take all the books back to the library!! I had to ‘steal’ these books as the librarians said I was too young to borrow them!!)

All this is touching upon the question I raise here in my short video clip for you: Who is our self who needs our own kindness?

The brief answer is: The part or fragment of our self who has felt and been hurt, pained or wounded.
It is the wounded part of our self who feels nervous, stressed, anxious, a failure, the shame and the guilt, the not able to say “No!”.
All you need to do to begin to bring some peace and harmony within yourself is to be kind to your own wounded self.

And to continue the healing process for your ‘wounded’ self – just go and begin one of my half an hour a day for forty days – RAPHA Therapy courses. There will be one that will work successfully for what you need so you will be happy in your skin, free to be the self you’re born to be.

Oh and once again, well worth repeating, this superb question from an author whose name, I’m sorry I did not note:
“Tell me, what do you plan for your one precious wild life?”

Wishing you the freedom to be your own self’s Kind friend to celebrate your life.

Sally

Sally Stubbs

sally@sally-stubbs.com

Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

“I don’t think there is any such thing as an ordinary mortal. Everybody has his own possibility of rapture in the experience of life. All he has to do is recognize it and then cultivate it and get going with it. I always feel uncomfortable when people speak about ordinary mortals because I’ve never met an ordinary man, woman, or child.”

― Joseph Campbell, The Power of Myth

I say: “Absolutely – here, here………”

 

www.sally-stubbs.com

 

Where Do You Find Your ‘Self’?

Monday, September 22nd, 2014
Sally Stubbs

Sally Stubbs

 I understand that I learnt to care for and about others from my Dad……. And Yeah – my Dad is my Hero.
I do have a number of heroes – and they’re all, in my view, outstanding Revolutionary Reformists – to name a few: Martin Luther King, Nelson Mandela, William Wilberforce – and My Dad!
SO – WHERE DO YOU FIND YOUR ‘SELF’?
Makes sense doesn’t it – that we first need to find our self – particularly the ‘lost’ fragment of our self – before we can Free our self of debilitating Symptoms?
Why?
Perhaps if you’ve read some of my recent letters you’ll accept that our Debilitating Symptoms – the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up……….. all – these horrid Symptoms ‘belong’ to a lost ‘fragment’ of our self.
So – where do we go to find and then Free our ‘self’?
We don’t have to move – we just need to sit right on down in our chair – because our ‘lost’ self is inside – us.
Your Unconscious mind might well travel ‘out to the stars’ to discover just where your ‘lost’ self – took up residence – when the ‘going got really tough’ – and you don’t even have to move out of your chair!

MY ‘SELF’ & THE TREE
I sat right down in my chair – this was back in 1985 – and my unconscious mind went in search of my ‘lost’ self – I found ‘her’ sitting up at the top of a favourite tree at the bottom of the garden – aged about 8.
When ‘the going had got tough’ for ‘her’ – emotionally ‘she’ took off to the tree.
I think I make sense to you? Think of it this way if you need to – lots of kids will ‘go out the window’ when the environment is boring. Right?
Their mind/self will ‘go off’ on all kinds of adventures. Grown ups are often heard to scold:
‘Pay attention when I’m talking.’
Or:
‘You’re not listening to me.’
(Grown ups used to say around me: ‘Oh, you’ll not get a word from Sally – she lives on another planet’)
Anyway once the boring stuff is over – and not before time for the kid! – their mind/self will come back.
When the stuff going on in the environment is frightening or scary – the mind/self – is not interested in ‘coming back’ – it can ‘stay out’ for a lifetime.
Sometimes the fragment of self in a frightening, scary or bewildering experience does not ‘go out’ – the fragment of self ‘takes up residence’ inside.
You’ll know this by such experiences as a knotting in the stomach – a shaking in the legs – a trembling in the heart – a closing up in the throat – a blanking in the head – a sinking in the tummy – a heaviness in the chest…….
All of these kinds of feelings denote where a ‘lost fragment of self resides’
And it is these feelings that ‘drive’ the nervousness, the fears – the hiding away – the not saying NO! to food or others who ‘door mat’ us – the getting angry with the cat or the pots & pans – the stressing the worry – the tossing & turning at night – the feelings of failure – the not speaking up………..
The ‘lost fragment of self’ that has these feelings is ‘saying’: Don’t get rid of ‘me’ – find ‘me’ and free ‘me’

SIT RIGHT DOWN IN YOUR CHAIR – & – FIND YOUR’ SELF’
And if you need help on your journey as you sit right down in your chair – I’m here for you with one of my RAPHA COURSES.
I have had a minor Rant over the years! I Love the writing of Dan Millman, James Redfield, Paulo Coelho – brilliant authors. My minor Rant is that so many books like these are indicating to the reader that you need to literally travel – to Hawaii – South America – the desert – to find your self.  Not so!
Journey Well………….

 

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy ‘Cures that Endure’

sally@sally-stubbs.com

CONTINUE YOUR FANTASTIC RISE:

Wednesday, August 27th, 2014

free mojoTHE PURPOSE OF MY LETTER:
– is to help you to rise & rise into your potential – to happily enjoy being your ‘self.’
To achieve that rise you need to be free of the fear, the nervousness, the not sleeping – the feeling of not being good enough – being angry at people, angry at the cat & the cushion – to be able and strong to say “NO!” – to extra food – or people who can ‘door mat’ you…………….

ANOTHER BENEFIT FOR YOU
An Outstanding benefit for you when you Resolve these kinds of horrible, debilitating problems (which technically I call Symptoms – as it is ‘the problem’ that is driving the Symptoms) – is Ease.
Ease in your own ‘skin’ Ease in your life.
Easily more in command, of your thoughts, feelings & responses.

AT EASE IN YOUR ‘SKIN’, AT EASE WITH YOUR LIFE
I’m not being some over enthusiastic ‘Muppet’ here!! I’ve had the Symptoms!! I was fat, couldn’t sleep, nervous at the drop of a pin! Anxious……
I’m remembering that about 30 years ago – a friend invited me to supper, she said: “I’ve invited another friend called Chris for you to meet. And I’ve warned Chris – that you’ll hardly speak a word all evening.” Yeah, that hardly speaking and the rest, used to be me!

Whatever the Symptom or Symptoms you’re negotiating in your life – I want to help you to Resolve Permanently with my Audio Courses – half an hour a day for 40 days. And if done properly my Course will culminate in a life for you where you live at Ease in your ‘skin’.

AND IT GETS SO MUCH BETTER
When “Shit happens”
“Shit happens” is a common slang phrase; used as a simple existential observation that life can have challenging unpredictable events.
So: “Shit” can happen and you’ll be fully available to deal with it. No more crumbling, no more stomach colly-wobbling, no more getting into a fury, no more tossing & turning through the night, no more raiding the fridge / biscuit tin, no more running / hiding / procrastinating.

You will say “Shit” And – be Fully present, at ease, in command in your own thoughts, feelings & responses.
I’ve Worked rigorously during the past 30 years to develop the Rapha Road Map to Resolutions – the ‘blueprint’ to do this.

Get to Work; follow the steps with me alongside you.

Do this Great Good thing for your self.

Now, the ball is in your court.

Warmly
Sally
Sally Stubbs
Rapha Therapy Cures that Endure

sally@sally-stubbs.com

www.sally-stubbs.com
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My personal and private e mail: sally@sally-stubbs.com

IT’S ALL ABOUT YOU ………..

Monday, August 18th, 2014

 

Sally

Sally

 SO: WHAT’S ‘FUNNY’ ABOUT THIS!
‘Funny old word’ – selfish!

The Dictionary definition: Self-centered, self-seeing, self-interested……

Then there’s a load of definitions about being egotistical. That complicates things for us – we’ll be condemned for being egotistical!

‘Selfish’ – A trader at Billingsgate London fish market!!!

The Oxford English Dictionary says the origin of the word ”selfish” begins in 1640 when a
Presbyterian archbishop coined the phrase from ”his own mint”

Seems there was no such word before 17th Century England! Makes you really think doesn’t it!

SEE YOUR SELF AS OTHERS SEE YOU
“O wad some Power the giftie gie us To see oursels as ithers see us!” Robert Burns – Scottish Poet.
I’ll have the impudence to say: “Hi, Robert, as long as those eyes seeing ‘oursels’ – see the Beauty” (Discuss!)

SELF-SEEING
I like the dictionary definition bit: self-seeing.

There’s a really Great Question here:
How do we see our self?
How do you see your self?

Because a problem arises – if we truly see the Beauty of our self – we’re self-ish – and that’s bad! It, so we’ve been taught – perhaps since the 17th Century – precludes us being caring, sharing, altruistic. We have to pretty much shun seeing the Beauty of our self.

What happens inside your self when I say to you right now:

You are Beautiful.

I can ask you to pause, can I not, and read my true statement slowly – very slowly – notice with the great sensitivity I know you have – your inner self responses to:

You are Beautiful.

Maybe ask a friend to say it, congruently of course, to you – You are Beautiful……….

Notice your objections??? Notice your Resistance???

YOUR ‘HIDING’ SELF
Any Objection & Resistance to this statement of Truth about your self – comes from the ‘fragment’ of your self ‘who’ went into hiding.

This ‘fragment’ of self does not believe in ‘its’ Beauty.

This ‘fragment’ of self is the ‘owner’ of present day symptoms – the fears, the nervousness, the not sleeping, the stressing the worrying………….. The feeling like a ‘door mat’, the feeling unacceptable – not good enough – not appreciated – not being able to congruently say: “NO!” to food, to certain people, the feeling angry –

Don’t try and ‘get rid of’ the symptoms. Let the symptoms assist & guide you to ‘find’ Free & Heal your hiding ‘fragment’ of your self. And then – the symptoms will be Permanently Resolved!

I’m here to help – that’s what I do – go have a look at what I do – AND what I’ve perfected during the past 30 years – I am a Veracious Guardian – Freeing & Healing the lost ‘fragments’ of self.

Warmly,

 

Sally

sally@sally-stubbs.com

FIND & RESTORE YOUR OWN MO-JO:

Monday, July 28th, 2014

outstanding energy

WHEN YOUR ‘SELF’ FELT A HORIBBLE “OUCH”…….
Your parents, teacher, friend, sibling communicated to you:

“You are stupid – you are ugly – you are useless – you are a failure – you are unacceptable…………. you are a waste of space.” (You know theses communications hey? You can add to my list!)

Hearing this stinky stuff – or sometimes seeing it in a glare from an eye – You feel a horrid, painful ‘Ouch’

Add a few ‘Ouches’ together, and like a sum, they can become a big ‘Ouch’ and your self – your real, beautiful, bright, useful, acceptable self goes into hiding, withdraws.

YOUR ‘SELF’ LOSES YOUR MO-JO!
Your self often takes your MoJo with it – into hiding. Your MoJo – becomes hidden unavailable. Why would our self hide our MoJo? Simplistically, we hide our MoJo as an attempt to protect our self from more ‘Ouches’

A kind of ‘blind spot’ pitches up so you no longer see your real, beautiful, bright, useful, acceptable self.

The ‘blind spot’ was created out of a non real, non true substance from wrong communications, (which caused an ‘Ouch’), from parents, teacher, friend, sibling.

By the way, seeing thru’ the wrong communications does not take away the good parts from your Mum, Dad, friend, teacher, sibling……. We can know the truth: “this person, these people, were wrong – AND – they also have good qualities & intentions.

So why would you bother to restore your self to ‘it’s’ rightful place and state of harmony, by you discovering how to do this? So that your self can and will experience a fulfilled life.
Because when our self is withdrawn, holding back, in hiding we are living a half life.
So how can you begin to restore your self to ‘its’ rightful place of being safe, acceptable, beautiful, and therefore successful?

FIND & RESTORE YOUR OWN MO-JO!
Get started on one of my half an hour a day for forty days courses on Cd or MP3 download or available soon on beautifully packaged memory stick. Money back guarantee.
Have a look at the website www.sally-stubbs.com

Is this a sales pitch?

Absolutely it is!

Why?

Because I have a dream to end all emotional suffering, I know we can achieve this by restoring the right & rightful control back to the ‘self’.

There’s a sample track, from each of my half an hour a day for 40 days courses, as a delicious ‘taster’ for you, on You Tube.

WHEN YOU ‘LOSE’ A FRAGMENT OF YOUR SELF & YOUR MO-JO ‘LOSES’ POWER….
When you ‘lose’ a fragment of your self, that is a ‘fragment’ of your self that suffered several “Ouches” – you will at some point start to suffer with a symptom or even more than one symptom, such as nervousness, lack of self esteem & confidence, feeling stressed & therefore chronic worrying, insomnia, not having the strength to say “NO!” to extra food and yo-yoing with your weight, feeling frightened……….. All these symptoms are telling you that you’ve ‘lost’ a fragment of your self. Which symptom is letting you know – you need to find, free & heal a ‘fragment’ of your self from ‘where’ your self became lost as a protection from more and bigger “Ouches!”

FIND YOUR SELF – & BE YOUR REAL, BEAUTIFUL SELF
I did ‘the course’ nearly 30 years ago. I know how my self suffered when ‘it’ was hiding.
Why 40 days?
Why half an hour a day?
– This is not fast food therapy – this is lasting – your self needs real nourishment to feel safe to be free – to be your ‘self’.

You will comfortably find and restore your self. Your self has your MoJo which once you’ve found it enables you to be and do what you want.

Jon contacted me; he wanted to do one of my courses and did not know which one.
He said: “My problem is I’m really stupid.” Although he is a successful business man, and he has two university Degrees, nice family and second home in France, he believed he was really, really stupid.
I said: “I understand you believe you are stupid.”
This was Jon’s belief. Beliefs are not the truth – they control us from inside – The belief took Jon half an hour a day for 10 days of the 40 day course to untangle, differentiate, and then resolve & change. We cannot change the density of a self belief by suddenly saying every day: “I’m really clever & I’m really bright” The belief “I’m stupid” is still there churning away
He did my half an hour a day for 40 days CD course Gain Self Esteem. He found & freed his self!

Contact me if you would like my advice on which one of my courses is for you: on my private email sally@sally-stubbs.com      I am here to help.

Once we find and restore our self to ‘it’s’ rightful place, we easily become the ‘ever vigilant guardian of our ‘inner’ space – meaning the ‘Ouches’ from others no longer can enter our ‘inner space’ – Just as we do not allow others to enter our home and dump their ‘muck’ into our living room!!

Thinking of you warmly

Sally
Sally Stubbs
‘Cures that Endure’

 

WHAT MIGHT YOU HAVE LOST?

Monday, June 30th, 2014
Borrowdale Valley: Keswick

Borrowdale Valley: Keswick

You Might Be Wondering……..

How you can relate in a way that will be truly positive and useful to you – or to someone you dearly care about; to ‘Sarah’s’ Story of her ‘Lost Hope’. Well: whatever it is you may have ‘lost’ during your life’s experiences it is likely that you will need that lost something to really achieve Your Authentic, Valid, Real, Beautiful Dream.

 WHATEVER YOU LOST YOU CAN FIND……..
Maybe you also ‘lost’ your hope, or was it your enthusiasm, or your own self belief – or something similar?

Ask Your Self this Simple Question
This question will help you Find – what it is you ‘lost’ that you need to recover in order to achieve your Authentic Beautiful Dream:

And – when I lost my (hope, enthusiasm, self belief whatever it was….) whereabouts did I ‘lose’ it?
Whereabouts could it be?”

‘Sarah’ answered “I ‘lost’ all my hope in the kitchen that day…..when my husband was yelling & shrieking………”

Whatever it was for you it may not have all got’ lost’ at once – it may have fragmented – and ‘gone away’ during a number of experiences for you. Let the question help you find the fragments.

ONCE YOU FIND WHAT YOU ‘LOST’
Ask your ‘self’ – “And – what could it be like when it got ‘lost’? You’ll discover your own metaphor – and connect with what you’ve ‘lost’ through it.

Like ‘Sarah’:

Q:And – when your hope was ‘lost’ in the kitchen that day – what could your hope be like?”
A: “It’s like a mist floating around.”

Q: (you can just keep asking a few times And – what else could there be about….?) “And – what else could there be about a mist that’s floating around?
A: “It’s green & shimmering.”

Q:And – what else could there be about your hope that’s a mist that’s green & shimmering?”
A: “It’s like green shimmering sparkly gossamer –  I want to wear it again.”

‘Sarah’ wears her hope once again – like green shimmering gossamer.

Truly it can be that easy.

And that’s one of the reasons that ‘Sarah’ is now – and will continue to be sparkly – instead of depressed.

REUNITE YOUR SELF WITH WHAT YOU ‘LOST’
Reuniting with what you ‘lost’ – enables you to achieve Your Authentic Beautiful Dream – My easy to learn Audio Courses – Guide you to do this.

I was going to talk this week about the ‘psycho-physical’ aspect of my RAPHA System to Successfully & Permanently Achieve your Beautiful Dream.

I got carried away today with my Mission to Guide you to Find what you ‘lost’! Next week hey!

Wishing you reunited with what you ‘lost’ that you need to Achieve Your Own Beautiful Dream’.
Oh and the 20% discount off all my courses finishes at the end of June: check them out here.

Warmly

Sally
sally@sally-stubbs.com
‘Cures that Endure’