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Posts Tagged ‘trauma’


Monday, August 6th, 2012

Sally Stubbs

How to “Resolve Trauma” without re-living it?

Lots of people have been asking me questions about “T Minus One”.
I really love your questions, do keep them coming. Thank you.
So, here goes: T = Trauma
“T minus (-) one” is a moment in time before the worst moment of the trauma.
“T” is the worst moment or moments when the affect, distress is most intense.
“T plus (+) one” is a moment in time just after the worst moment of the traumatic experience.
We are now in T + one, the trauma is over. But not all of our self is in T + one.
Part of our persona remains stuck, or frozen in time, in the very difficult T – one moment.
The difficulties, pain & bewilderment keep on replaying within our unconscious.
Why did we get stuck? We froze time as an unsuccessful mechanism to protect our self from ‘T’ or event to prevent ‘T’ from ever happening.
We know that the problem is not located during the worst part of a trauma due to the unerring use, by the person who has the problem, of the gerund * “…ing”
“My stomach keeps on churning….”
“I just keep thinking the worst…..”
“I have a tightening in my chest…..”
“I keep feeling like I’m falling……”
“There’s a fluttering in my throat…..”
“I feel like there’s a knife stabbing my heart……”
These examples are all indexed in the time frame, some time before the worst part of the event.
* A gerund from the Latin: to carry on – indicates a reoccurring non finite verb and behaves like the present participle (as a noun). The ‘something’ never completed itself; it carries on, a continuous over and over again cycle.
The nightmare sequences such as:
“He was chasing me and just before he grabbed me I woke up….”
“I was falling and falling and just before I crashed on the rocks I woke up….”
None of these dreams are finite, they do not ‘end’ we stop the dream – by being suddenly awake just before the next moment becomes worse, i.e.:
“He catches me and stabs me.”
“I land on the rocks and my body is all smashed.”
Bear in mind that these dream sequences are rarely memories.
They come from the rich language of the unconscious in allegory, symbols, puns, metaphor.
This is a more obvious example of a nightmare sequence: “I was running and running through hell and just before the monster got its claws into me and ate me alive – I suddenly woke up…..”
This example of a nightmare sequence will most likely have come from a child’s experience. An experience of an event or period of events in their life which was ‘hell’ to them, when an adult or older person were behaving ‘monstrously’ The child felt their real identity, who they really were, was being ‘eaten up’ by the ‘monster’
Problems are born at specific moments in time and space. These moments range from a ‘damning’ look in a parents eyes to repeated violating behaviours from another person. A child will not determine and distinguish the difference between their internal feelings and their external environment consequently the information from both becomes an internal undifferentiated information mass. Like a tangled ball of wool. This creates a symptom complex that permeates their experiences and persists into adulthood.
So what do we do?
My Work 1:1 comfortably and safely goes into the “T Minus One” moment and differentiates the information contained in that moment.
The differentiation allows us to focus on the individual now separated ‘strands’ and bring appropriate resolutions. This allows time to move on – never through “T” rather ‘over’ or ‘around’ “T” into “T + 1”.
Also my Work on my CD courses will assist the differentiation of “T Minus One” information and move to resolutions.
All of my Work also honours the part of our self ‘who’ became ‘stuck’ or ‘frozen’ in a moment in time………….
There’s quite a bit to take in BUT it IS fabulous………
Also more of my videos on YouTube if you would care to take a look.
Thinking of you warmly
Cures that Endure


Wednesday, May 30th, 2012

This is an impromptu letter, completely a ‘flow of consciousness’ so please forgive any frayed edges……. Thank you.
And, it’s a one off, well for now it’s a one off!!! One thing that I am proud of being is Flexible!
So, I could well do this again……..
Anyway –
I frequently get asked questions like: “I’ve had no traumas in my life, but I feel ‘stuck’ with negative things that are hampering my life. What can I do?”
I also get asked questions along the lines of: “I have had trauma, and I don’t want to remember, I want to put it all behind me and get on with life, but I feel ‘stuck’ What can I do?”
SO, –
Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday the 11th, 12th and 13th of June, from 9am to 9pm I’m setting aside these three days to answer your questions, by phone.
We’ll have to be organised, so please email me your question, which will give me an idea of how much phone time we’ll need, and please give me a couple of options of dates/times that suit you, and I’ll get back to you.
My private email address is: .
You may not feel that your question for me is confidential, but in case you do, to reassure you my private email address is entirely confidential.
The deal is our unconscious is driving our problem state. And our unconscious ……’ won’t get fooled….’ by diagnosis, direct suggestion, advice, tap, tapping our body (EFT: Emotional Freedom Techniques)……. and so on.
Our unconscious needs the exact Correct attention, and part of that attention is Respect.
Yeah, Respect.
Paradoxical isn’t it!
We have a problem, because our unconscious took on the ‘pain’, bewilderment, anger, fear and so on – in an attempt to protect us – from a worse onslaught……
As I’ve said, Mike came up with the great phrase, after I’d been ‘banging’ on to him for months last year about all this (Mike is an off shore deep diving engineer, with a very patient ear for me!!)
Mike said one night last year: “You can’t Bullsh*t the unconscious. And you, (Sally) are not interested in Fast Food Therapy as there is no nourishment in that….”
Last week a lovely lady came to see me, she has been suffering a ‘nothing place’ life pretty much all of her life. And the respect I have for her is truly immeasurable in the strength and courage she has found through huge effort to make a success of her life.
She told me on the phone she would rather see me 1:1 than Work with one of my audio courses.
Very soon into our first session of Work she told me she felt anxious.
Here are the questions to develop this kind of information which will, I am sure, really interest you greatly:
Q “And when you feel anxious whereabouts do you feel anxious?
A “It’s here…” touching her chest
Q “And when it’s here (notice IT that we have discussed before) whereabouts could it be when its ‘here’?”
A “It’s inside here”
Q “And when it’s inside ‘here’ could it have a shape or a size – colours or colours – when it’s inside here?”
As we developed the information, she looked straight at me and said the most accurate and wondrous thing, she said:
“And it won’t go away with a sticking plaster – it has a ‘life’ force…..”
I did one of my Whoooopeeee arm waving things – she ‘got it’, nope, that’s not accurate, she ‘knows it’.
The next day I got this wonderful, exquisitely articulated email from her:
“….a quick note to say thank you for a very interesting day! My
personal experience with therapies (& I have tried a few!) has never
left me as ‘upbeat’ as I felt today 🙂 I feel like I ‘own’ myself
rather than ‘dumping’ myself on another – a very good feeling. Thank you.”

I have of course asked permission to share this email with you, as it is so beautifully said – exactly that – to own your self….
Do email me and let’s have some valuable phone time together.
Find out more about my Work and my values first if you need to, you’ll be a welcome visitor– which we are still working on to perfect though it is gorgeous – many thanks to Gary Hogg… he’ll ‘nit pick’ it to perfection and his designs are superb.
Thinking of you Warmly